YOURSKY, Chapter 24
“Sure, Ma… Soon, in a few days, I will book the plane tickets, okay?”
[Okay, dear.]
“Ma… Is Pa there with you?”
[Yes, he is. Do you want to talk to Pa?]
“Yes, please let me talk to Pa for a bit.”
[Pa, dear… Our son wants to talk to you.]
“…”
[What do you want to talk to me about, Muen?]
I laughed softly when I heard the familiar nickname. “Thank you, Pa.”
[What is you thanking me for?]
“Pa once told me to secretly kiss the ring finger on the left hand of the person he likes while they’re asleep, and then they’d become his lover.”
[Haha, did my method work?]
“Yes.”
[How much dowry are they asking for over there? Tell Pa… for the chubby puppy of your, I can handle it.]
I laughed softly again before saying, “Thank you again, Pa.”
[I’m happy for you, Muen.]
“Yes… I love you Pa.”
[I love both you and Phan too.]
I hung up the call with Pa and prepared to head back into the house. Today, my group of friends asked to gather and work on their mini-thesis, which needs to be submitted to the professor before the semester ends. I finished my own work last week, so now I’m just helping and giving advice to my friends. On top of that, I also have to tutor my Theerak in math. He’s been complaining that he doesn’t understand some of the material, even though he listens to the professor attentively in class.
“I, I listened to the professor so carefully, Phii Fah.”
“…”
“I didn’t even chat with friends during class, but I still don’t get it.” “…”
“When it comes to math, my brain is just no good…”
Hearing that made me feel so sorry for Theerak. He’s someone who takes studying seriously and gets good grades in almost every subject. If he doesn’t do well this time, he’ll be really upset. Even though I don’t particularly like this subject, I’ve always managed to score well in it. Last night, I had Theerak send me the material he didn’t understand via LINE so I could review my old knowledge.
And I still remembered most of the formulas and methods, even though I hadn’t studied them in a while. So, I invited Theerak to my house to help tutor him. We’ve been studying together since morning until the afternoon. I noticed Theerak looking a bit tired, so I let him take a break and eat some snacks while I stepped out to call and talk business with Mama.
“Your Theerak fell asleep right on the snack plate.”
I froze mid-step and stopped in my tracks before looking toward the living room. My Theerak was sitting on the floor, his face resting on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I let out a sigh when I saw Hia sitting there, smiling at the sleeping Theerak.
That’s my Theerak!
“Why the hell did you bring Hia here?”
“He said he’s been studying all week and wanted to relax a bit.”
“Relax, my ass… We’re here to work.”
“I was confused by him too… I told him I wasn’t here to mess around. I brought the architect’s plans for you to look over again.”
“…”
“But he insisted on coming anyway…”
I shook my head in exasperation before slumping down onto the chair by the pool. At first, I wanted to hurry back inside to review the material with Theerak again, but when I saw him sleeping, I decided I’d rather let him rest. Real lit a cigarette, took a drag, and then offered it to me.
“…”
“Wanna smoke to relieve some boredom?”
I shook my head in refusal. “I don’t want Theerak to smell cigarette smoke when we kiss.”
“Wow, you’re really something, my friend.”
“…”
“You’re really happy right now, aren’t you?”
I nodded to Real, who was standing there blowing out white smoke, before saying, “Honestly, it’s more than just happiness.”
“So what does it feel like?” Real asked, giving me a smile.
“You know I’m not good at talking or explaining my feelings…”
“That’s why I’m asking… I know Theerak makes you someone who always tries, whether you’re good at something or not.”
What Real said was true. Theerak makes me someone who always tries.
This time, I wanted to try expressing the overwhelming feelings I have so my friend could understand. I fell silent, thinking about how to explain this feeling that’s more than happiness in a way my friend could grasp.
“I think you’d understand better if I told you a story with a metaphor.”
“I’m good with anything.”
I paused for a moment before turning to look at the small figure sleeping.
Theerak reminds me of… “a butterfly…”
“…”
“I fell in love with a butterfly that came to flutter around in a flower garden. I watched that butterfly every day.”
“…”
“But no matter how much I wanted to get closer, I could only stay at a distance. Because if I got any closer… the butterfly would fly away.”
“…”
“And I didn’t know if the butterfly would return to the flower garden again… The only thing I could do was take the best care of that garden so the butterfly would come back every day.”
“…”
“I just hoped to see that butterfly every single day, and that was enough.” “…”
“…And then one day, that butterfly flew over and landed on my shoulder.”
“…”
“At that moment… it was more than happiness.”
“…”
“…And I still feel the same way now.”
“Fah… I only understood what ‘more than happiness’ means today.”
I smiled as I thought back to the time Theerak confessed his love to me at the airport. When he stopped in front of me and gave me that smile, it felt like the whole world paused for a moment. Everything around me stood still, including my heart. At that time, I didn’t know if it was because of the overwhelming longing I felt or because of his smile. But whatever the reason Theerak always has an effect on my heart.
When that confession came from his mouth, the world that had stopped spinning began to orbit again. My calm heart started beating fast and strong when I hugged him once more. Our first kiss made the balloon that had once burst in my left chest inflate again, and it nearly burst once more when Theerak said…
‘Phii Fah, I love you, Phii Fah.’
… Even though it’s been almost a week, I still vividly remember the feelings of that day. Theerak’s gaze and words still play clearly in my heart. I stood up to my full height before excusing myself from Real to come find Theerak.
The small figure was slumped over the table, with the same bodyguard as always. That guy, Hia, was still sitting there watching over him while he slept. I told him to get lost before staying to watch over Theerak myself.
“Wake up, Theerak.”
I moved my hand to brush the hair that had fallen over his face. Theerak shifted to turn his face sideways toward me. I don’t know if he’s feeling unwell or something, because his lips were an unusually bright red. I chuckled softly and reached out with both hands to gently lift the small figure into a sitting position. He refused to open his eyes and swayed like a rolypoly toy, tilting left and right. I couldn’t resist my irritation, so I scooped him up to sit on my lap, using one arm to support his neck and the other to hold his waist.
“Little one… wake up now.”
“…”
Since my Theerak wouldn’t wake up easily, I had to use this method. I leaned down to kiss the small figure’s lips once, but he still didn’t respond. This time, I pressed my lips down harder to make Theerak wake up. He pushed my face away lightly with his hands and spoke in a sleepy voice.
“Don’t tease me…”
I laughed when I saw Theerak speaking with his eyes still closed. He must have been really sleepy, because while we were studying together, he complained that he’d stayed up nearly all night reading for another subject. I felt so sorry for my good boy, but because Theerak was too adorable, I
couldn’t resist. I showered kisses on the small figure’s lips until he let out a muffled whine of displeasure in his throat.
“Hmm… I am sleepy…”
“Are you really that sleepy, little one?” I asked before kissing his lips again and playfully nipping the tip of his nose.
“Yes…”
Theerak answered with his eyes still closed, burying his face in my chest. Since he was pleading to sleep more, I softened and didn’t want to tease him further and upset him. I lifted the small figure to take him to sleep in the room, but the gaze of his older sister, Babe, made me pause mid-step.
“Fah…”
“I’m taking him up to sleep in the room so he won’t feel sore.”
“…”
“I won’t do anything to him…”
“…”
“I promise.”
As soon as Babe nodded in agreement, I took Theerak up to lie in the room. I gently placed the small figure on the bed and helped adjust him into the most comfortable position before lying down beside him. I slipped my arm under Theerak’s neck and pulled him into my embrace. The faint fragrance from his jet-black hair made me lean down and press my nose into his head to smell it again.
“I love you, you know.”
“…”
I know that sometimes I might hug, kiss, or hold Theerak too often, but because I think about loving him as if it were our last day, I want to express my love for him frequently. I don’t think about hugging or kissing him to make up for the time I secretly loved him—such thoughts would never cross my mind.
Because I see every day as our last day together; My love for Theerak never diminishes.
I shifted my gaze from the person in my arms to the photo hanging on the wall at the foot of the bed. That same bright smile, one I never thought I’d get to claim, belonged to Theerak—the one everyone adored but who never looked up at the sky.
Today, that Theerak, with a smile as radiant as the sun, is in my arms. I will love and take care of him to the best of my ability.
“Phii Fah…”
“Yes?”
The small figure slowly opened his eyelids before continuing, “Did I come up to sleep in your room?”
“Yes… Phii Fah carried you up here.” I replied, leaning down to kiss Theerak’s cheek.
“Phii Fah must be exhausted.”
“Heh.”
Theerak shifted his gaze from me to the photo of himself. “While everyone looked up at the sky, I only looked at you.”
“…”
“But that’s not the phrase anymore, you know.”
“…”
“It should be this one…” Theerak pecked my lips before continuing, “While everyone looks at me, I only look at the sky.”
I smiled and pressed my lips to Theerak’s forehead. “I think it should be this phrase instead.”
“Which one, Phii Fah?”
“Everyone watches us love each other.”
#However Many Thousand Skies
After lying down and chatting for a while, Theerak asked me to let him sleep more. I glanced at the clock on the wall since my wristwatch had been taken off and placed on the bedside shelf when he started resting on my arm.
Theerak was fidgeting quite a bit, so I removed the watch to avoid scratching his skin. The clock showed it was past 4 p.m. I was worried he’d wake up hungry, so I reluctantly woke him up to ask.
“Little one… what do you want to eat tonight?”
“…”
But the small person, with eyes closed, shook their head in refusal even before hearing the question fully. I placed my forehead against his smooth one and asked again “Good boy, how about Phii Fah makes spaghetti for you tonight?”
“…”
“…Or do you want to eat something else?”
Even though Theerak had his eyes closed and remained silent, I knew he was awake and heard my question. The slight furrow of his brows told me he was thinking about what he wanted to eat. Not long after, his thin, rosy lips parted, and he spoke in a soft, faint voice.
“I want to eat minced pork instant noodles.”
“Huh.” I pressed a kiss to his still-closed, egg-colored eyelids before saying, “Do you only want to eat that, little one?”
“…” The small person nodded slightly.
“Don’t you want to eat me too?”
“…”
I laughed as Theerak shook his head and turned his back to me. Normally, he’d scold me right away when I teased him like that, but he must have been really tired and exhausted to let it slide this time.
“I’ll go cook some instant noodles for you in a bit, okay?”
“Okay…” The small person in my arms kindly turned back to give me a quick kiss as a thank-you before turning away again.
“Good boy, I am going to cook the noodles now, okay?” I leaned in to whisper in Theerak’s ear. He nodded slightly in response again. Now, I was the one who didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to lie there and hold him like this. “I am really going now, okay?”
“Okay…”
In truth, I wasn’t really telling Theerak. I was ordering myself to get up and cook the noodles. Repeating it to Theerak was an indirect way of forcing myself. The phrase, “I am really going now, okay?” actually meant, “Get up and cook the noodles for him already, Fah!”
I sighed before pressing my cheek against Theerak’s. He didn’t move an inch. The fact that Theerak was letting me off so easily made it even harder for me to let go of him. I kissed his cheek again, finally managing to muster the will to get out of bed. But then I flopped back down and buried my face in the crook of his neck because I truly couldn’t bring myself to leave.
Everyone might get sucked into a soft bed on a Monday morning, but for me, it’s Theerak who pulls me in every morning. I didn’t even want to think about how hard it would be to get up for work if we lived together. Real might end up getting promoted from partner to full owner of the Your Sky restaurant because I’d be too attached to Theerak to go manage the place.
“Phii Fah…”
“Yes?” I responded, gently nibbling his ear.
“My minced pork noodles…”
“Huh…” I laughed softly before nodding to the person lying with his back to me. “I’ll go cook the noodles for you now, okay?”
“Okay…”
In the end, I had to let him go from my embrace. I slowly pulled my arm out from under his head and used my free hand to grab a pillow for Theerak to rest his head on instead. I pulled the thick blanket over the small figure, but before I could leave the room, Theerak swatted the blanket off and kicked it down to the foot of the bed with his feet.
“Theerak… the air conditioning in Phii Fah’s room is cold. Don’t push the blanket off, please.”
Standing at the foot of the bed, I sat down and covered him with the blanket again. But my little sea belly was too stubborn. He pushed the thick blanket back down to the foot of the bed with his feet once more.
“I don’t like blankets…” Theerak answered in a faint voice.
“Theerak, you need to use the blanket.”
Theerak shook his head with his eyes closed. Just a moment ago, I had pulled the blanket up to cover just his legs, but he swatted it off again and kicked it even farther away. I knew that with Theerak, being strict wouldn’t work. The more I scolded or gave orders, the more stubborn he’d become. So, I had to find my own way to make him use the blanket.
“…”
Sitting at the foot of the bed, I pulled the gray blanket over the legs of the small, heat-hating figure once more. As expected, he swatted it off and kicked it down to the foot of the bed again. So, I moved closer and grabbed his ankle.
Theerak must have been startled because he lifted his head to look at me. His eyes blinked rapidly, as if adjusting his vision. I still held his ankle as I asked “Will you agree to use the blanket, Rak?”
“I don’t like blankets…” he said sleepily before dropping his head back onto the pillow.
“So that means you won’t use the blanket, right?”
The small figure nodded lazily. “…”
I gently ran my thumb over his small ankle, then leaned down and pressed my lips to it. I moved my lips upward, kissing just above his ankle, then continued kissing up Theerak’s leg until I reached his knee. I planted a final kiss on his thigh before looking up at the stubborn one, who was now hiding his face with the pillow.
“I give in…” he said, his voice muffled by the pillow. I tried to pull the pillow away, but he hugged it tightly with both arms.
“Heh.”
“Phii Fah, cover me with the blanket, please.”
“Are you cold, baby?”
“I’m cold because of you.”
“Heh.”
…Even with the pillow blocking his face, I could hear his words clearly. I chuckled softly, then pulled the blanket up to cover the small figure up to his neck. I leaned closer to the pillow that was hiding the face of the person I loved. Knowing how adorable the person beneath this gray pillow was, I pressed my nose against it and took a deep sniff.
“Phii Fah… go cook some instant noodles for me.”
“Heh.”
I laughed softly before getting out of bed and heading downstairs. Babe, who was pacing back and forth at the top of the stairs with a worried expression, prompted me to ask “Is something wrong, Babe?”
“Oh, Fah… you’re down already?”
“Yeah… is something up?”
Babe looked at me before shaking her head in denial, “…No.”
“…” Since she didn’t seem willing to talk, I didn’t want to press her. But I could tell Babe was troubled about something. Before walking away from the spot, I left her with an opening to gather her courage, “I’ll be in the kitchen… feel free to come find me if there’s anything.”
“Okay…”
I walked into the kitchen and found Nanny preparing fruit for us to eat later in the evening. However, as soon as she saw me, she quickly put everything down and went to wash her hands.
“Nanny, I’ll do it myself.”
Nanny, who was wiping her hands with a cloth, furrowed her brows at me before asking, “Didn’t you come down to get something to eat?” “No… I am here to cook some instant noodles for Theerak.” “Oh…” Nanny replied with a smile directed at me.
“Do we have any minced pork instant noodles at home?”
I opened the cupboard to look for the minced pork instant noodles that he wanted, but it seemed the house only had ramen. Mom didn’t often buy Thai instant noodles. If Theerak came over more often, I’d probably need to stock up on the minced pork noodles he likes.
“We only have ramen, young master… Madam ordered me to buy only this kind because the your brother likes it.”
I grabbed a yellow packet of ramen that I figured had a flavor closest to minced pork noodles from the cupboard and asked, “So where did my little brother go today?”
“Oh… he left since morning. Before he could even ask, I saw that red motorcycle speeding out of the gate.”
“That’s a big one…” I said as I set a pot of water on the stove, then turned to look at Nanny, who had come to stand beside me and gave me a wry smile.
Her expression wasn’t much different from Babe’s. “Is something wrong, Nanny?”
“Young master, do you think I did the right thing?”
I raised an eyebrow. “What did you do?”
“Last night, I secretly slipped a condom into the young master’s wallet.”
I let out a laugh and shook my head lightly before opening the ramen packet and putting the noodles into the boiling pot. “Panli is grown up now, Nanny.”
“…”
“If he’s going to do it, he needs to know how to protect himself.”
Nanny looked a little embarrassed hearing my words. Since we’d been together, we’d never talked about this kind of thing. This time, Nanny must have been genuinely worried about Panli to take such a step and even consult me about it.
“Even though I would love to have little kids running around the house… I think it’s a bit too soon.”
“Heh… what if Panli isn’t chasing after a girl?”
“What does you mean?”
“I mean… you don’t need to worry about Panli.”
“I will try… Right now, I am already relieved about one person.”
I shifted my gaze from the boiling pot and turned to look at Nanny, who was standing there smiling at me. “…”
“Love each other for a long time, okay, my dear?”
Nanny opened both arms and came to hug me. Since one of her hands was holding a bowl to prepare ramen, I used my free arm to wrap around her shoulder instead. Nanny was another person who had known about my love story all along. She was the only one allowed to clean my bedroom because she had seen that picture and realized how long I had secretly loved Theerak.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You’re welcome… Bring Rak to the house often, okay? I am so fond of him,” she replied.
“Yes.”
I answered with a smile to Nanny before turning to look at the entrance door, feeling like someone was standing there watching us. And it was exactly as I felt—Babe was standing there, giving me a dry smile, looking at me just like Nanny did.
“I thought the young master had a guest… I will take some fruit out for your friend to eat first, okay?”
Yes, Nanny.”
As Nanny walked away, Babe immediately stepped into the kitchen. She raised her hand to rub the back of her neck, her eyes filled with worry. I rarely saw Babe like this, which made me curious about what could be troubling her so much.
If I had to guess…
It probably had something to do with Theerak.
“Fah…”
“What’s up?” I responded while pouring ramen into the bowl, then turned to give my attention to the person staring at me.
“Uh…” Babe seemed hesitant to speak. She closed her eyes and let out a big sigh. When she opened them again, her gaze was filled with determination. “Please.”
“…”
“Don’t… don’t sleep with my little brother yet…”
“Heh,” I let out a small laugh before nodding. “He’s not ready yet, Babe.
How could I do that?”
“I still can’t come to terms with it… I’m sorry. I admit I’m really protective of him.”
“…”
“But it’s not that I won’t let you… won’t let you… uh…” Babe covered her face with her hands and continued, “I’m so embarrassed that I have to talk about this kind of thing with my little brother’s boyfriend.”
“We can talk about it… We’re adults now.”
I didn’t mean you can’t flirt or be affectionate with him. Couples naturally have these moments—it’s normal.”
“…”
“But can I have a little more time to process it?”
“…”
“I’m scared he’ll come to me complaining that it hurts… or something like that, and I won’t be able to help feeling sorry for him.”
“Heh.”
“Please let me prepare myself first, and let him get ready too.”
“Babe, listen to me…” I stared deeply into Babe’s eyes, “I’ll take care of
Rak the best I can.”
“…”
“I won’t do anything until he is ready… As for when he will be ready?”
“…”
“I think I know… because I’m letting you take it slow, learning everything step by step.”
“…”
“Whether it’s about Rak or that other thing…”
“…”
“I won’t promise that our first time won’t hurt, because it’s definitely going to hurt.”
“…”
But I promise I’ll do my best… I’ll prepare everything to keep him as safe as possible.”
“…”
“Don’t worry, okay?”
“…”
“I’ll take it slow, step by step.”
“I know you is patient enough. If it’s about Theerak.”
“…”
“I’m worrying too much, sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, I understand.”
“…”
“But I want to thank you, Babe.”
“What would Fah thank me for?”
“Thank you for calling me back then to tell me that Theerak was on his way.”
“…”
“…And thank you for taking care of his smile all this time.”
Babe nodded and gave me a smile, “Please take care of Theerak’s smile too, okay?”
“…”
“Theerak is the heart of us… Take good care of him.”
“Yes… I’ll take care of the heart of our family, forever, the best I can.”
#However Many Thousand Skies
I walked out of the kitchen holding a bowl of ramen to bring up to Theerak in his room, but a small figure wrapped in a gray blanket was stumbling down the stairs. I had to quickly hand the ramen bowl to him, who was about to yell because he was scared that the one wrapped in a thick blanket like a jam roll might tumble down.
“Little oneeee… Why are you doing this?”
“Theerak… Stop right there!”
“Eek! I… I’m going to roll down!”
I, who was about to walk to pick up Theerak at the top of the stairs, paused my steps and turned to look at the cheering group behind me. Everyone seemed so eager to see whether Theerak would tumble down the stairs or not. I turned back to look at the small figure who had safely made it to the top of the stairs, thinking that it wouldn’t be long before Rak Niran, would become the darling of the Pisut family.
“I can walk, I am okay, Grandma.” Theerak replied to the nanny who hurriedly approached him. He flashed a smile at the nanny as she gently rubbed the blanket wrapped around him.
“Phew… my heart almost stopped. Why didn’t you come down properly, huh? Why did you wrap yourself in a blanket to come down?”
I crossed my arms and looked at the small figure who met my gaze. He pressed his lips together before avoiding my eyes. Theerak probably couldn’t tell the nanny the real reason, so he just gave her a dry smile.
“I was coooold, Grandma.” he said, trembling his voice to convince her.
I laughed because he exaggerated the shivering sound. “…”
“Oh dear… didn’t the young master turn up the air conditioning for you before coming down?”
“Yes, Grandma… it’s because of Phii Fah that I have to stay wrapped in a blanket all the time.”
“Hmph.” Theerak must be afraid I’d do it again, which is why he refused to take the blanket off.
“That Fah is no good at all…”
“Exactly!”
Hia chimed in, followed by Real joining the chorus. Luckily, Babe and
Dom just stood there laughing. I wasn’t wrong in thinking that soon, Rak, Niran, would become everyone’s favorite. If Papa and Mama met him in person, they’d probably fall head over heels for him just like I did, unable to pull themselves away. Soon, the one holding sway in this house wouldn’t be…
Pradipat Pisut
But rather Rak Niran.
Because the small figure, still wrapped in his blanket, turned to smirk mockingly at me as everyone scolded me, I couldn’t resist walking over and scooping Theerak up from the crowd. Even with the thick blanket wrapped around him, it wasn’t an obstacle for me. He squirmed, trying to break free, but I didn’t let go and carried him into the living room instead. I set the small figure down on the large sofa and pulled the blanket off him. Since Theerak seemed intent on escaping, I straddled his body to keep him in place.
“Did you just mock me earlier?”
“Nooo… I didn’t mock you at all.”
“I will give you one more chance to answer.”
Theerak burst out laughing before saying, “I… I was just happy that everyone took my side. I was so happy that I accidentally smiled like that.”
“Accidentally smiled like that, huh?” I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his rosy lips before moving to shower kisses along his pale neck. His laughter made me press repeated kisses in that spot before pulling back to let him catch his breath. “Will you accidentally smile like that again?”
“No more accidents…”
“…”
“But I will do it on purpose.”
The small figure lying beneath me, smiling slyly, made me bite my lip to restrain myself. Because he’s gotten so clingy and cunning lately, it makes me want to unleash the merciless Muenfah and ravage him until he’s bruised all over.
But because the person in front of me is Theerak…
So I had to pin down that body.
“…” I leaned down to whisper softly in his ear, “Do you know how hard it is?”
“W-What’s hard, Phii Fah?”
I didn’t answer, instead pressing a kiss to Theerak’s lips, “…” “…”
“Resisting the urge to devour you… it’s so hard for me.”
Theerak laughed before saying, “You devour me almost every day… I’ve never seen you hold back.”
“The word ‘devour’ for me has two meanings.”
“…”
“The first is the way you understand it.”
“And the other…” I bit his lip again and leaned down to whisper in
Theerak’s ear, “…you don’t understand yet.”
“Ugh! Pervert!”
“Heh.”
I laughed before letting the little one go free. Theerak quickly sat up, running a hand through his messy hair, blinking rapidly as he glanced at the door. I followed his gaze and saw Hia standing there, eating his ramen.
“Had your fill yet?…This bowl of ramen’s mine now.”
“Isn’t that mine, Phii Fah?” He pointed at Hia, making a face like his heart was breaking again.
“Hia!!”
“Alright… I’ll go boil some more red water for you, okay?”
Hia hurriedly walked out of the living room with the half-eaten ramen bowl, probably afraid I’d get up and smack him, which is why he fled so fast. Meanwhile, I had to turn and comfort the one with the broken heart first.
“A kiss on the head, okay?”
“Will Hia take long to cook…? I’m starving.”
I pulled him onto my lap and pressed my nose to his head for another kiss, “Are you that desperate to eat?”
“Yes…”
“So hungry you could eat all of me?”
“I’m hungry… I don’t have the energy to fight a pervert anymore.”
“Heh.”
“…”
“A kiss on the head for the hungry, exhausted one.”
I said this before pressing my nose to his head again, wrapping both arms tightly around him. Theerak lets me be his Fah—his sky. My duty as his sky is to hold him close in every moment…whether he’s strong or weak.
This Muenfah will always embrace every feeling of Theerak.
#However Many Thousand Skies
Today, I don’t have classes because my exams finished yesterday. But I still have to hurriedly get dressed and head to the university because he has a math exam. This morning, Theerak called me with a voice that didn’t sound very confident. Even though he tried to cover his anxiety with cheerfulness, I could tell that Theerak was feeling uneasy.
“Which car will Khun Fah take?…I’ll go get the keys for you,” said the driver uncle.
“It’s fine, Uncle. I already got them.”
I replied to the driver before driving my favorite car out of the house. While stuck at a red light, a LINE notification pinged. I grabbed the phone I had tossed onto the passenger seat and checked it. If I had to guess, it was probably Theerak.
Theerak: Phii Fah…
Just seeing his message, I could already hear his voice in my head. M.FAH: Yes, Theerak.
Theerak: I am about to enter the exam room soon.
M.FAH: Traffic is really bad. I probably won’t make it before you go into the exam room.
Theerak: Phii Fah, don’t rush, okay?
Theerak: Drive slowly and get to the university safely.
Theerak: I just messaged to ask for some encouragement from you.
Theerak: But if you are driving, you don’t have to reply yet.
M.FAH: I’m stuck at a red light right now, so I can still chat with you.
Theerak: I will try my best, okay?
I decided to call him because I knew Theerak was really worried. He usually prefers calling over texting, so the fact that he chose to message me instead showed he didn’t want me to worry about him.
Because I know him well enough I decided to call Theerak.
“Phii Fah…”
[What’s up, my smart boy?]
“Ten minutes until the exam starts. Rak is reviewing the material Phii Fah taught me one more time.”
[Do you remember it?]
“I remember, but I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to do it once I’m in there.”
[My smart boy can definitely do it.]
“The smart boy will try his best, okay?”
[Good luck, alright? I will wait for you outside the exam room.]
“Thank you… my source of encouragement.”
[…]
“I love you Phii Fah, you know.” I smiled before replying, “Yes, I know.” Yes, I know.
A phrase that only Theerak gets to hear.
After arriving at the university, I stopped by to grab a coffee before sitting down to wait for him in front of the exam room. I was wearing a shortsleeved white shirt and black jeans, not dressed much differently from the other male students, yet people still kept staring at me. If it were the old me, I’d have gotten up and escaped to a quiet place, away from everyone’s eyes.
But now, my Theerak is here.
Where could I possibly go…
“Oh… Pradipat, what are you doing here?”
I looked up at the faculty professor before standing to greet him, “Hello, Professor.”
“Are you here to discuss your mini-thesis with me… Can I proctor the second-years’ exam first?”
I understood why he asked that, since he’s my advisor, “No, Professor…
My work is already finished.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I’m waiting for my boyfriend to finish his exam.”
Phii Fah is claiming boyfriend rights again today, my good person.
“Huh?” The professor’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe what he heard, “Your boyfriend is a second-year?”
“Yes.”
“I know almost all the second-years, a bunch of troublemakers… especially your little brother.”
I smiled and nodded. Panli must have caused quite a few incidents for the professor to say that, “…”
“What’s your boyfriend’s name?…Maybe I know him.”
“Rak Niran, sir.”
The professor furrowed his brow slightly before nodding lightly, “In the same group as your brother, right?”
“Yes.”
“Rak is a great student, very diligent… but he often gets teased by your brother during class, always bickering at the back of the room.”
I chuckled softly as I listened to the professor, “…”
“I’m proud of you, you know. I said it once before when you did an amazing job organizing the open house…” The professor reached out to pat my shoulder lightly before continuing, “But this time… I’m proud that you’re brave enough to be open with others.”
“…”
“…And that you honor the person you love.”
“…”
“I’ll excuse myself now.”
“Yes, Professor.”
I responded while thinking…
I have courage, patience, and determination.
Because… Rak Niran.
Not long after, the door to the exam room where Theerak was opened. I stood up to my full height and looked for my Theerak. The second-year students filing out showed surprised expressions when they saw me there. Everyone gave me friendly smiles, but I didn’t pay much attention. Some came over to ask who I was waiting for, and I wasn’t shy about answering, though I felt it was a personal matter.
“Phii Fah, who are you waiting for?”
“Theerak.”
“Oh, I see, Theerak is submitting his exam paper.” the female junior said.
“…”
I didn’t respond to her before walking to wait at the door. The small figure taking off his round glasses showed clear signs of exhaustion. It had been a long time since I last saw him wearing glasses. If it were any other time, I’d probably compliment how cute he looked in them, but right now, no words seemed more fitting than…
“How did it go, my smart one?”
Theerak folded his glasses and tucked them into his pants pocket before giving me a dry smile. “I’m not confident at all.”
“You did your best.”
“I didn’t do as well as I should have.”
“When you were in the exam room, did you try your hardest?”
“Yes, I gave my everything.”
I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around him to comfort him.
“Then you did your very best.”
“Phii Fah…”
I told you… I’d embrace every feeling of Theerak’s.
And I’d hold him close in every moment…
Theerak hugged me back, burying his small face into my chest. I figured he must be completely drained and really needed a break. I held him with two emotions:
The first was concern.
The second was joy.
I was glad I made it in time.
I was glad I could be a source of comfort for Theerak.
“Today was your last exam, right?”
“Yes, Phii Fah.” Theerak pulled away from the hug and nodded tiredly.
“Should I take you out somewhere?…So you can feel better?”
“Can I go eat ice cream at your shop?”
“Don’t you want to go to the mall?”
“…”
“Whatever you want, I will buy it for you as a reward for my smart one.”
“I just want to sit and eat ice cream on the rooftop of your shop.”
I smiled at Theerak and nodded. “Sure.”
“But no lemon flavor today, okay?”
I chuckled softly before reaching out to ruffle his messy hair. After that, I took him out of the university. We had to drive separately since Theerak had brought his own car to the exam. On the way, I secretly worried that he might overthink things again. The best thing I could do right now was call the manager to prepare his favorites.
[Yes, Khun Fah.]
“Is the manager at the shop now?”
[Yes, I’m checking the alcohol stock as you instructed, Khun Fah.]
“I’ll be at the restaurant in about twenty minutes. Rak will be coming along today…”
[Does Khun Fah want me to prepare anything for Khun Rak to eat?]
“Chocolate ice cream, please.”
[Got it, Khun Fah.]
I hung up with the manager before stepping on the gas as the traffic light turned from red to green. I managed to overtake the frosty-colored Mini Cooper in front of me, but since I’d always followed behind him, even today I still wanted to watch him from behind.
As soon as we arrived at the restaurant, I took Theerak up to the rooftop— my sky. He walked over and plopped down near the railing, dangling both legs over the edge without the slightest fear of heights. Holding a cup of chocolate ice cream, I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of Real, who wouldn’t even go near that spot because he’s terrified of heights.
My Theerak has never been afraid of anything…
“Here’s your chocolate ice cream.”
I sat down beside Theerak. He gave me a faint smile before taking it. The little one scooped the ice cream into his mouth while gazing out into the distance. I’d once heard that looking at the sky when you’re feeling down can make you feel better, but Theerak wasn’t looking at the vibrant sky in front of him. He kept eating his ice cream and turning to flash me smiles every now and then.
I stole a glance at the side of the little one’s face. No matter how tired or worn out Theerak seemed, that smile always lingered on his face. I reached out to rub his head gently to comfort him before saying “I once heard that if you look at the sky when you’re feeling uneasy, it can make you feel better…Try looking at the sky, Theerak.”
I hoped he’d tilt his head up to look at the sky and smile like he used to, but Theerak didn’t look up at the sky. Instead, he turned to me and flashed that same bright smile again.
I’d managed to bring Theerak’s smile back…
“My sky is right here…” Theerak said, smiling at me. “I don’t need to look at any other sky.”
“…”
“Muenfah is the vast sky that makes me feel the most at ease.” I’d never thought I’d become someone’s sky before.
Not until today, when I became his sky.
“Phii Fah, I forgot to mention…”
“What is it?”
“Tomorrow’s my grandpa’s birthday… Grandpa told me to invite you to the celebration, Phii Fah.”
“Sure, I will join your grandpa’s birthday celebration.”
“But I… I might need to leave my car at your restaurant for today.”
I looked at him as he showed a slightly worried expression. “…”
“Well… tomorrow, my dad’s coming back for the event, and I don’t really want him to know about the car just yet.”
“…”
“I told my mom and my grandpa that you lent me the car because my schedule hasn’t been lining up with Phii Babe’s lately.”
“…”
“In the house, only Phii Babe knows the truth.”
“…”
“I don’t want to lie to everyone, but I think this is a sensitive matter. It’ll probably take some time before I can tell the truth.”
“I understand you, okay?”
“As for Dad, I think if I told him you lent me the car, he’d probably be upset… because Dad doesn’t like it when people at home bother others.”
“…”
“Dad isn’t someone who’s hard to understand, but I think it’s not the right time to tell him yet. I’ll have to wait a little longer.”
“It’s okay… No matter how long I have to wait, I will always be by your side, alright?”
“Thank you so much for today, Phii Fah.”
“…”
“If I didn’t have you by my side, I would feel really bad.”
“I will always be by your side, Theerak, okay?”
Theerak gave a small smile before tilting his head to rest on my shoulder, then said, “Fah’s tummy belongs to Theerak.”
Muenfah (Thousand Skies), plus Theerak (Darling), equals My Darling Sky.
TBC
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