MYMOON, Chapter 28:
PANLI
“As time passes, we tend to feel less sad…”
“By now, there’s hardly any sadness left, right?”
“Mm… just longing remains.”
“…”
“But it’s a longing that doesn’t feel painful… because every time I think of Mom,”
“…”
“I feel warm inside… like she’s still with me always.”
“…”
“Before, I might have felt a bit lonely, but not sad.”
“Klai… now we have each other.”
“Because I has you… that’s why I am this happy.”
“…”
“And Klai believes he’ll keep getting happier.”
“I’ll make sure all of your beliefs come true.”
“…”
“And… your stepmother, is she good to you?”
“…”
“I remembers you once told me about her, but I don’t know much.”
“From what I feels… Ms. Lin is a good person.”
“…”
“Someone who tries to be a good wife, who tries to adapt to others.” “…”
“Someone I think deserves a chance…”
“…”
“…to become part of the family.”
“My dear one.”
Panli found the conversation he had with Klaijai before bed swirling in his head until he opened his eyes in the morning. He doesn’t know why Klaijai’s words followed Panli into his dreams. If he didn’t remember that they fell asleep talking last night, Panli might have thought that conversation never happened.
Panli blinked rapidly to clear the view in front of him. The white curtains were drawn wide, letting soft sunlight stream through the glass door into his bedroom. He furrowed Panli’s brow slightly when he realized the person in his arms was gone, and Klaijai wasn’t standing on the balcony outside. Panli scanned the room, and the slightly ajar bathroom door told him Klaijai wasn’t in there.
“Klai…”
“…”
“Where are you?”
Panli called out in a hoarse voice while sitting up on the bed, then pushed the thick blanket off his body and quickly walked outside.
“KhunKlai…”
“P-Panli…”
Panli swallowed hard when he saw Klaijai standing with a goodlooking middle-aged woman. She blinked rapidly, looking at Panli before shifting her gaze to the smaller figure. His eyes widened when Panli realized he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants.
“Uh, Ms. Lin… this is Panli…”
“…”
“My boyfriend.”
“Oh, I see…”
Panli quickly raised his hands to greet Klaijai’s stepmother. “HHello.”
“Hello…”
He sent an apologetic look to Klaijai, and the smaller figure nodded lightly. When Panli pointed toward the bedroom to signal that he’d go get dressed properly, he turned and headed back inside.
Panli grabbed a white towel and draped it over his broad shoulders before stepping into the bathroom. His hand rubbed Panli’s face in frustration as he recalled the awkward scene with the three of them. He prayed that Panli’s first impression with Klaijai’s family wouldn’t be a negative one.
Panli figured Klaijai’s stepmother must have let her imagination run wild, probably to the moon and back, because seeing him shirtless and Klaijai in just an oversized shirt and shorts could lead to all sorts of assumptions. Earlier, Panli wanted to explain that they’ve never even had sex, because he wants to respect Klaijai.
But the awkward situation left Panli speechless. He let out a heavy sigh, stripped off his sweatpants, and reached to turn on the shower. The cold water cascading over Panli’s body did wonders to soothe his burning heart.
Panli didn’t know if it was the cold water or the possessive thoughts that sparked an idea in his head. There’s a silver lining to this situation, Panli thought. If Ms. Lin misunderstood and assumed they’re already deeply involved, and if she told Klaijai’s father about it, his father would surely demand that Panli take responsibility for his precious son.
And Panli would say just one thing…
I’m ready… ready to take responsibility for Klaijai.
I’m dying to take responsibility.
Name the dowry…
I’ll call my Papa to prepare it…
Panli smirked and shook his head lightly, thinking everything seemed to be falling into place for him.
After showering, Panli stood picking out clothes for a while, wanting to look his best. He finally grabbed a white branded polo shirt and dark jeans, spritzed on Panli’s signature cologne, and headed to the living room.
Panli saw Klaijai laughing and smiling with Ms. Lin at the dining table. The sweet-faced person with a gentle smile turned to look at Panli and said…
“I thought the puppy was just going to throw on a shirt.”
“If it was just that… I’d think it wouldn’t look good.”
Panli was still standing at the bedroom door, not walking over to Klaijai, who was sitting with Ms. Lin. He never imagined meeting his lover’s family would be this tough. Right now, Panli didn’t know how to act.
“Well then, I will go take a shower too.”
“…”
“Panli, can you keep Ms. Lin company for a bit?”
Panli nodded and said, “Sure.”
As Panli agreed, Klaijai got up from the chair and walked toward him. He stopped in front of Panli, gave a small smile, then stood on his tiptoes to whisper softly in Panli’s ear…
“Ms. Lin just wants to get to know you, Panli.”
“…”
“Just be yourself… don’t be nervous.”
Panli let out a quiet sigh before whispering back, “Ms. Lin is basically my mother-in-law… how can I not be nervous, KhunKlai?”
Panli watched as Klaijai burst into cheerful laughter and gently brushed a hand across his cheek, as if to encourage him, before pulling away and disappearing into the bedroom. He swallowed the thick lump in Panli’s throat and flashed a smile at Ms. Lin, who was waiting for him. As Panli sat down on the chair across from her, she gave him a friendly smile.
“Hello again, Panli.”
“…”
“Maybe earlier we… weren’t quite prepared.”
“…”
“Nanny Jeab was saying that KhunKlai probably hasn’t had his favorite butter cookies in a while… so I volunteered to bring some for KhunKlai.”
“…”
“But I forgot to let him know in advance that I was coming.”
“Uh… Ms. Lin, you’re probably younger than my mom. You can just call yourself ‘Auntie’ instead.”
Ms. Lin gave a faint smile before saying, “Alright, dear. I usually refer to myself like this with KhunKlai, so it’s just a habit.”
“Okay.”
“No need to be nervous, Panli. I don’t bite…” she said with a chuckle.
Panli let out another quiet sigh before asking, “Is Khun Klai’s dad really strict? …So I can prepare myself.”
“Poj is a kind person… not strict at all.”
“Kind only to his kids and wife, maybe?”
Panli watched as Ms. Lin tried to hold back a laugh before saying, “I think that’s probably true.”
“Then I better prepare myself.”
“…”
Panli looked at the person in front of him, whose smile slowly faded, replaced by a serious gaze. Ms. Lin fell silent, as if holding something back in her heart. As their conversation paused, a quiet tension began to fill Panli’s spacious room. Even though he’d never had experience meeting a lover’s family before, Panli knew how to break the silence threatening to swallow their dialogue.
“Auntie…”
“Y-Yes?”
“I truly, truly love Klaijai.”
“…”
“I love him so much that… if I had to choose who gets to be hurt…”
“…”
“I’d take the pain for him… no matter how much it hurts me.”
“…”
“Even if it hurts me to death.”
“…”
“I’d bear it all.”
Ms. Lin nodded, a faint smile crossing her face before she said,
“Thank you.”
“…”
“Thank you, for being sincere with KhunKlai.”
“…”
“At first, I wanted to say… I hope you love Klaijai for a long, long time. Love him deeply.”
“…”
“He’s a good person, so lovable… and gentle with everyone.”
“…”
“Auntie doesn’t want to see him sad, not even a little.”
“…”
“But hearing Panli talk like this… Auntie feels relieved.”
Panli nodded and smiled at her before deciding to say something. “I don’t think I’ll get to meet Klaijai’s father anytime soon… but if Auntie, you ever talk to him about me…”
“…”
“I’d like to ask you to tell him… I love his son very much.”
Ms. Lin smiled and said, “I’ll let Poj know.”
“Thank you.”
“And thank you for being another person who ‘loves and cares’ for Klaijai.”
KLAIJAI
After Klai finished showering, he joined the conversation with both of them. He felt a lot more at ease seeing how well his partner and stepmother got along. Klai realized it wasn’t just him who felt happy around Panli—his partner could also make the people around him smile and laugh.
They chatted for a bit longer, and then Ms. Lin excused herself to head home. Klai invited Panli to walk downstairs to see her off at the car, and after that, the two of them planned to go shopping at the mall as we’d discussed.
“Safe travels.”
Ms. Lin nodded and said, “Okay…”
Klai watched his stepmother step toward the van, where Uncle Hmai was waiting to open the door for her. He pursed his lips, mulling something over as he looked at her, before deciding to speak up…
“Auntie…”
“…”
Ms. Lin paused and turned back to look at him. She stood still, trying to mask the trembling in her eyes with a smile. Klai took a few steps closer to his stepmother and returned her smile.
“When I heard Panli call you ‘Auntie,’ and you referred to yourself as ‘Auntie’ with Panli…” he said, glancing back at the tall figure smiling behind him before meeting Ms. Lin’s eyes again. “…it made me realize how much respect we both show each other, and it’s so much that it creates a sense of distance.”
“…”
“I know we both feel this… even though we’ve been trying to adjust to each other all along.”
“…”
“But that feeling still hasn’t gone away… I understand that the position we were in when we first met required us to show each other a lot of respect.” “…”
“And so, we both chose to treat each other the same way out of habit… which created a barrier between us.”
“…”
“But from now on… I think we’ll grow much closer.”
“…”
“Thank you for always caring about Klai, Aunt.”
Ms. Lin presses her lips tightly together and nods. She steps toward Klai, reaching out to gently hold his cheeks. Her eyes glisten with more tears than usual.
“Klaijai… can I hug you?”
Klai nods, stepping into the embrace as Ms. Lin opens her arms. She holds him tightly, as if she’s been longing for this moment for a long time. Klai lightly rubs her back.
“Thank you for coming into our family and making it whole,” he says.
Ms. Lin nods gently while holding him. “…”
“…”
“I’ve always wanted to take care of you, but I was afraid to step too far into your world.”
“…”
“Because I was afraid it might make you feel uncomfortable, feel bad…” Ms. Lin paused to steady her trembling voice before continuing, “Thank you… for letting me into your world.”
Klai nodded in response, tightening the hug. Ms. Lin’s embrace didn’t dilute the warmth he once felt from his mother. Every feeling from his mother remained vivid and clear in his memory. But today, Klai deeply understood what his father had said…
Ms. Lin wasn’t here to replace his mother…
His mother was still in the same place… in their hearts.
But Ms. Lin was just filling some of the gaps in his heart.
“I love you, Klaijai.”
“I love you too, Auntie.”
Klai pulled back from the hug as Ms. Lin, now wiping the clear tears from the corners of her eyes, let out a soft laugh and reached out to gently stroke his cheek.
“Really, I should have some free time today. I could take you and
Panli out for some delicious food.”
“After my exams, I’ll bring Panli to have dinner at home.”
“Okay, dear… I’ll tell Phii Jeab to get ready to show off her skills.”
“…”
Ms. Lin fell silent, as if something was on her mind, before saying,
“Klaijai… can I tell Poj about Panli?”
“…”
“…Or would Klai rather introduce Panli to Poj himself?”
“You can tell him. I think Dad’s okay with me dating a guy.”
Ms. Lin smiled before saying, “Alright, dear…”
“Safe travels.”
“Thank you…” Ms. Lin said, waving goodbye as she got into the car.
“Uncle Hmai…” Klai said as Uncle Hmai slid the car door closed.
“Yes, young master?”
“I missed you.”
The listener broke into a wide grin before nodding lightly. “I missed you too, young master.”
Klai flashed a smile at Uncle Hmai until he got into the car. He watched the pearl-white van pull away from the condo before turning to face the tall figure behind him.
It was then that Klai saw Moon standing there, smiling back at him.
He stepped forward to stand in front of Panli and said…
“Sorry for making you wait so long.”
“I’d wait even longer.”
Klai wrinkled his nose at the tall guy. “…”
“Once I heard your dad’s okay with us being together, I felt a bit relieved.”
“Is my puppy scared of his father-in-law?”
“Scared as hell… scared he wouldn’t let me have you.”
“If Dad wouldn’t let me go to you…”
“…”
“Then should we just run away together?”
“There you go again… always teasing me.”
Klai laughed brightly before saying, “Puppy, stop teasing me first.
Don’t forget we’ve got shopping to do.”
The big puppy gave a small smile and nodded, then wrapped an arm around his neck, leading him toward the parking lot. But along the way, someone called out from behind with a teasing tone.
“Ugh… seeing this lovey-dovey couple is gonna make my eyes go blind!”
When they stopped and turned around, they saw it was Ne.
“Got diabetes in my eyes now, buddy… tone it down a bit!”
“You dumbass!”
Panli snapped, his face and tone dripping with irritation, but Ne didn’t seem fazed at all. He grinned cheekily and kept teasing the two of them with his eyes.
“Klai, Klai… have you seen my friend around lately?”
The one being asked gave a small smile before saying, “Which friend, Ne?”
“You know, that guy… he’s been totally MIA.”
Klai looked up at the tall figure with an arm around his neck and said,
“You’re asking the right person, Ne…”
“…”
“Panli’s been at Klai’s place.”
“Ohhh, so that’s how it is!”
“Klaijai, you’re in for it…”
The big puppy growled in a stern voice, pointing a finger at him in warning. But in the next moment, the serious face broke into a smile. Panli shook his head lightly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Klai and Ne burst out laughing together, seeing the big puppy completely lose his cool.
“No need to keep up the act anymore, Li.”
“…”
“You’re head over heels for him, just admit it.”
“I’m not keeping up any act.”
Klai looked up at the tall figure and said, “So, does puppy admit it?”
“KhunKlai, what’s with you… how can you be this much of a tease?”
The one being scolded tried to hold back laughter before saying, “Klai just wants to know…”
“Fine… I admit I’m totally in love and smitten with my KhunKlai.” “Here’s to you, Li… welcome to the ‘One Hundred Baht a Day’ club!”
“What’s that?”
“The people in this group, their wives give them a hundred baht a day for expenses.”
“…”
“Got it?”
“My wife’s not that cruel…” Panli says, looking down at the guy in his arms. “…Right, KhunKlai?”
“Right… I won’t limit you to just a hundred. I’ll add another fifty baht.”
“Klaijai! Don’t play along with Ne, please…”
“Damn, I love Klaijai… He’s awesome.”
“I’m the only one who gets to love him, you bastard!”
“Chill, I’ve got my own wife.”
“I’m jealous of everyone… no exceptions.”
Klai laughs before saying, “There, there, puppy. Klai won’t tease you anymore.”
“…”
“Who could be cruel to a puppy like you…”
“Li… if my wife talked like that, my heart would melt into a puddle on the floor,” Ne says.
“You think my heart isn’t melting?” Panli retorts.
Ne bursts out laughing at Panli’s words before asking, “So, where are you two headed?”
“We’re going to buy some stuff for the room,” Klai replies.
“Whoa, Li, are you moving in with Klai for good?”
“With how things are… you don’t even need to ask.”
Ne laughs, then suddenly stops smiling, eyes widening as if he just remembered something. “I’ve been too busy teasing you… Shit, I forgot my wife told me to buy Pepsi. Gotta go!”
Klai smiles faintly, watching Ne scratch his head and stride toward the nearby supermarket. He looks up at the tall guy letting out a weary sigh.
“Tired, puppy? That was a loud sigh…”
“Tired of having friends like this,” Panli grumbles.
Klai laughs and follows the tall guy to the car. He climbs into the passenger seat and fastens his seatbelt. The guy behind the wheel leans over to check that everything’s secure, his handsome face less than a foot from Klai’s nose. Klai holds back a smile as the memory of his big puppy getting flustered flashes through his mind.
Klai bit his lip slightly, feeling a mix of affection and mischief toward the other. At that moment, he moved both hands to gently cup the puppy’s face…
Their eyes met.
And…
Kiss…
Klai kissed the puppy’s lips.
Kiss…
Klai kissed the puppy’s left cheek.
Kiss…
And Klai kissed the puppy’s right cheek.
His slender hands pulled away from the handsome face and rested back on his lap. Klai pursed his lips to suppress a smile as he saw Panli’s wide-eyed reaction. The other stayed silent, staring at him. Though Klai had initiated it, his heart was pounding just as much as the other’s.
Klai broke into a wide grin before saying, “Puppy…”
“Klai… out of nowhere, you just pounce on me like that. Where’d all this mischief come from?”
“I don’t know either, but out of nowhere, I just wanted to pounce on my puppy.”
“Too much… you’re too much.”
The listener laughed before saying, “Puppy likes it, right? Getting pounced on like this.”
“Thanks, I do…” Panli said, leaning back against the seat before continuing, “…but sometimes you need to give me a heads-up.”
“…”
“When you attack like this… I might have a heart attack.”
“If puppy has a heart attack and doesn’t recover… I would be single, huh?”
“Klai!… Watch it.”
The one being scolded laughed until his eyes crinkled, then reached out to stroke the puppy’s cheek. “I was just teasing…”
Panli bit his lip, shaking his head slightly as if holding back with great effort. Fearing he might get pounced on, Klai quickly pulled his hand back to his lap and said…
“Puppy… let’s get going.”
The big puppy nodded lightly, chuckling under his breath. He turned his attention back to the road ahead as the car pulled out of the condo.
Klai stole a glance at the person beside him, thinking…
If there were no moon in this world, it’d be pretty sad.
But nothing would be sadder than…
A world without Panli.
“KhunKlai… where should this go?”
“Just put it in the storage cabinet.”
“Okay…”
“But Panli’s popcorn can stay on the counter, right? Since you’ll probably eat it soon?”
“Yup…”
We’d been unpacking the stuff we bought from the mall for a while now, as Panli had gotten a ton of snacks and supplies. Klai gave a faint smile while putting food in the fridge, his mind drifting to a conversation we had in the bookstore.
“Panli, this event looks fun.”
“What kind of event is it? Like a book fair or something?”
“Kinda similar, I think, but smaller than a book fair. They’ve got live music at night too.”
“Does KhunKlai wanna go?”
“Panli…”
“…”
“When I think about it… we haven’t really gone on a proper date yet.”
We’ve been on a date already…
“Huh? Where?”
We went to the movies together, didn’t we?
“That doesn’t count for Klai.”
“…”
“Let’s go on a date tomorrow… to this event.”
“Give me two minutes to recover from blushing before I say yes.”
“Puppy…”
“KhunKlai, think about Li’s feelings a bit. Li’s been invited on a date, so there’s gotta be some butterflies, right?”
“…”
“Two minutes are up…”
“So, is it a deal?”
“It’s a deal.”
Because Klai stopped by to buy a book, he saw a poster promoting a book fair happening tomorrow at Museum Siam. He’d always thought about going to a book fair with his partner, and this time, Klai made his dream come true by inviting Panli to go on a date to the event.
LINE notification sound
But the sound of a notification from someone’s phone pulled him out of his thoughts. Klai closed the fridge and turned to look at the tall figure who was staring down at his phone with a worried expression. Panli furrowed his brows deeply and sank onto the long sofa. Unable to help but feel concerned, Klai walked over to sit beside him.
“Is something wrong, Panli?”
“It’s that chubby-cheeks… he messaged me.”
Klai frowned slightly and asked with concern, “Is something up with
Theerak, Panli?”
“He asked what I’m doing. He doesn’t usually message to ask stuff like that, so I teased him and said I’m watching soccer.”
“…”
“When I asked if something’s wrong… he wouldn’t answer.”
“…”
“But he asked all mysteriously if I’m free tomorrow morning.”
“…”
Panli furrowed his brows while staring at the messages on his phone.
“I think he definitely wants to talk about Phii Fah.”
“…”
“Phii Fah has had a crush on Theerak for a long time. He’s been pursuing him for a while now, but Theerak still hasn’t figured out his own feelings.”
“…”
“I think he’s probably figured out his feelings now.”
“…”
“Theerak probably wants to confess to me first that he likes Phii Fah.”
Klai nods in understanding. He knows the two are in the process of getting to know each other romantically, but he doesn’t know much about the status of their relationship. Honestly, Klai thought Phii Fah and Theerak were already a couple, given how their interactions go beyond just senior-junior dynamics…
To be honest…
Seeing Phii Fah and Theerak,
Klai feels like he’s looking at his own relationship…
“So, what’s puppy overthinking about? It doesn’t seem like a big deal.”
“If Theerak truly knows his own heart… that’s a good thing, right?”
The big puppy lets out a quiet sigh and pulls Klai to sit straddling his strong lap. Klai locks eyes with Panli for a moment before asking the guy, who seems even more worried now.
“Puppy… is something wrong?”
“We have a date tomorrow…”
“…”
“I don’t want to postpone it…”
It’s at this moment that Klai understands why Panli is so concerned.
He lifts both hands to gently cradle the other’s face, then presses a kiss to his lips.
“No need to overthink it.”
“…”
“You just need to balance your time, right?”
“…”
“In the morning, I can go see Theerak… and in the evening, we’ll go on our date as planned.”
“Is that okay?”
“Klai…” Panli gazes deeply into his eyes before saying, “…I don’t want you to feel less important than anyone else. You are my love, and no matter what, you’re always the most important.”
“…”
“We already made plans…”
Klai offers a gentle smile to soothe the other’s anxious heart. “Panli…
I understand everything.”
“…”
“I also understand how someone like Theerak—family, a friend you love—must be feeling right now.”
“…”
“You are really stressed, I know… because you don’t want to break plans with me, but you can’t help worrying about Phii Fah and Theerak.”
“…”
Klai smiled, meeting the other’s gaze. “Panli… we don’t have to downplay the importance of others just because we have a lover.” “…”
“Family, friends, lovers. They’re all equally important.”
“…”
“Theerak’s situation reminds me of our own relationship.”
“…”
“If we didn’t have Phii Dom, Kant, or others lending a hand, we wouldn’t be in love like this.”
“…”
“So, Phii Fah and Theerak’s relationship needs someone to step in and help too.”
“…”
“And that person has to be you…” Klai leaned forward to kiss the big puppy’s lips once before continuing, “…Tomorrow, help Theerak and
Phii Fah with all you’ve got, okay, puppy?”
Panli gave a small smile before saying, “You really doesn’t mind, right?”
“Even if you say you understands, I still…”
“Really, Panli… I don’t mind at all.”
“…”
“Lovers need to understand each other.”
“…”
“Understand them sincerely… understand who they are.”
“Like how I understand that you love your family and friends so much… you can’t be happy if the people you loves aren’t happy.” “…”
“And if you aren’t happy… how could I be?”
The big puppy wrapped both arms around him in a hug before saying,
“Thank you… thank you for understanding.”
“I am always ready to understand Panli.”
“Tomorrow, I’ll hurry back to pick up you for our date.”
“Mmm… I will be waiting.”
“…”
“And waiting to hear good news about Phii Fah and Theerak too.”
Klai said, locking eyes with Moon. Panli pressed a soft kiss to his lips…
They exchanged kisses.
They exchanged genuine feelings.
And they gave each other love, as always…
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