YOURSKY, Chapter 6
“Not tasty?”
“Oh, no, it’s delicious.”
Theerak quickly scooped a big piece of crispy pork into his mouth after answering Muenfah. Once the asker saw that he’d stopped staring at the ketchup bowl, he turned his attention back to his own large bowl of rice porridge as usual. This bowl of ketchup wasn’t anything special compared to others. Its taste was nearly identical across almost every brand, and the ketchup at Muenfah’s restaurant was no different from the red bottle sitting in his kitchen at home.
The color, taste, and smell were truly indistinguishable. But what made him unable to take his eyes off it was the fact that Muenfah had ordered it. Theerak thought back to when Muenfah placed the order for him. It was Muenfah who had specifically instructed the staff to bring this ketchup bowl too. At the time, he hadn’t paid much attention because he was too worried about whether Muenfah might be annoyed that he’d smiled at the waitress.
But now that he thought about it… it seemed a bit too coincidental.
There must be millions of people in the world who like eating omelets with ketchup, and he was one of them. It probably wasn’t strange that Muenfah had ordered it, since plenty of people enjoy it this way. And among the many people who’d come into Muenfah’s life, some might have eaten omelets with ketchup so often that it became a familiar sight—enough for Muenfah to always order the two together.
Muenfah must have seen someone eat omelets with ketchup regularly, right…?
Theerak was using his spoon to cut the omelet into bite-sized pieces when another spoon—lightly tipped with ketchup—touched his omelet. The owner of the crispy pork basil dish frowned slightly. It wasn’t because his plate had been invaded, but because something else had crossed his mind again.
“How about an omelet too?”
This omelet had been Muenfah’s suggestion too…
Crispy pork basil with an omelet—that was his absolute favorite dish.
A fried egg would do too, but it’d instantly be knocked off his favorites list.
“Is the oil too greasy?”
And if it was going to be a true favorite, it couldn’t be too oily.
“No, it’s not. It’s perfect—everything’s just right.” Too perfect, in fact, that it didn’t feel like a coincidence that Muenfah knew this much.
“Want some ice cream after the meal? Dom told me that you like ice cream.”
So that’s it—his favorite menu had leaked from Phii Dom. He’d gotten way ahead of himself thinking Muenfah had secretly dug into his preferences. Looks like he really was falling into the narcissism trap that Phii Babe had warned him about lately.
“Sure, you’re footing the bill, right?”
“You can hold onto my wallet if you want.”
Theerak grinned widely, his almond-shaped eyes squinting until his black irises were barely visible. His faintly flushed cheeks bunched up into round puffs because he was smiling even broader now. “It’s a treat in your style, right?”
Muenfah nodded before saying, “Chocolate flavor, okay?”
The one being asked nodded enthusiastically, thinking to himself that Phii Dom was incredibly detail-oriented, even specifying his favorite ice cream flavor. “Two scoops, Phii Fah.”
“Is that enough?”
“If it’s not, I’ll ask for more later.”
“What if I don’t give you more?”
“Then I’ll do this…” As soon as he finished speaking, both of his slender hands stretched out in front of him. Theerak opened his palms like a child begging for candy from an adult, flashing a wide smile—the kind that often melted the hearts of many—toward Muenfah.
Theerak hadn’t expected that his clingy nature, which he usually used with family and friends in the group, would come back to make his own heart race. And the reason it did was none other than Muenfah. The man bit his lip, looking mildly annoyed, before reaching out to lightly tap Theerak’s hands.
“Flirting with everyone…”
And Muenfah’s deep voice lingered in his heart the whole time.
Theerak quickly pulled his hands back as soon as he snapped out of it, coughing awkwardly to cover his embarrassment. Whatever he did now felt so clumsy and unnatural. His eyes darted around everywhere until they landed on the omelet smeared with red sauce—thanks to Muenfah having dabbed it on earlier.
Sigh ~ There’s really no escaping it, is there? Muenfah is everywhere, even on his omelet. T___T
“Rak, I have to step out to handle some things first. It’s almost time to open the shop.”
Theerak looked up at Muenfah and replied, “Y-Yes.”
“Can you stay here alone?”
“Yes, Phii Fah, go do your work.”
“I’ll have one of the staff bring the ice cream to you, okay?”
“Yes.”
The tall man stood up, slipping his phone and wallet into his back pocket. He didn’t forget to grab his white cigarette pack either. Theerak sat there watching him get ready, thinking that Muenfah seemed far more mature than his age suggested. He must have a good sense of discipline and responsibility too—when it was time, he was ready to take on his duties without hesitation. Even though Muenfah could easily delegate tasks to a manager or someone else, give orders, and then slip away to relax, he didn’t. The man in front of him wasn’t like that.
Muenfah flashed that smile at him again— A smile like the morning sunlight.
Then Muenfah walked toward the door.
“…”
And he was crazy enough…
“Phii Fah!”
Crazy enough to say something.
“Yes?”
Theerak couldn’t help but smile when he saw Muenfah’s puzzled expression. Whenever the other showed anything besides his usual blank, emotionless face, Theerak genuinely wanted to snap a photo to brag to others.
Though everyone else would probably just think he’s handsome as always.
But for Theerak… when he made a face like this—
“Susuna, Phii Fah! Like the sound of the sea, shoo~ shoo~”
Muenfah was ridiculously cute,
“Heh.”
And insanely cute when he let out a laugh.
Even if it was just a soft chuckle in his throat, not the loud laughter Theerak usually let out, it still made Theerak feel amazing. He was just a chubby pup to his family and a chubby-cheeked friend to his crew, yet he could make everyone’s Muenfah laugh like this.
Pretty cool, right?
Yeah… super cool.
But his internal self-praise came to a halt when the one he’d just cheered on so enthusiastically shifted his focus from the big glass door to him instead.
Theerak blinked rapidly, tilting his head up to look at the tall figure who’d stopped right in front of him. The angle of their eye contact turned Muenfah’s gaze into premium fuel, igniting a blaze across Theerak’s round cheeks. The heat from his cheeks spread through his entire body in mere seconds.
And since Muenfah was the fuel, there was no way he could help him.
He could only burn Theerak alive with those eyes, melting him completely.
“Uh, Phii Fah… aren’t you going to wor—work?”
“I am…”
That face he’d just called ridiculously cute—
“…”
“But I stopped by for a little more encouragement…”
—leaned down toward him…
“Su-susuna, Phii Fah…”
“Thanks…”
And that sharp nose nearly brushed against his “stinky” head.
“…”
“If I faint and can’t work, it’d probably be because of this naughty kid’s stinky head…”
If someone asked what kind of person Muenfah was, Theerak wouldn’t hesitate to answer that he’s a terrible guy. Because he loved teasing him until his stomach churned, making him so flustered he lost his senses, then walking away without taking any responsibility—like right now.
The big glass door was shut by the tall figure who’d nearly become a murderer. That look and those actions from Muenfah just now could’ve killed him outright. But Muenfah probably spared him because he didn’t want to end up in jail with no one to run the shop.
T___T The most ruthless one is everyone’s Muenfah, no doubt.
#However Many Thousand Skies
The small person sitting alone in the glass-walled room was starting to feel a bit lonely. Theerak pressed his face against the dark brown wooden table, which the staff had already cleared of dishes and cleaned. The black phone in front of him was being spun idly by his slender hand like a compass. It was useless now since everyone he wanted to talk to was busy with personal matters. Panli was at a high school friend’s birthday party after delivering something to his aunt. Type was taking his mom to the doctor. Joy was on a date with an engineering guy. Even his sister and her boyfriend had hurriedly hung up on him because they were dealing with their puppy. Going out to wander around didn’t seem right either. Theerak wasn’t much of a social media person—playing with his phone for a bit was enough to bore him.
That’s why he let out his hundredth sigh to shake off the boredom. His slender hand pressed the lock button to check the time again, and he sighed once more when he realized it was fifteen minutes to 8 p.m., yet his sister still hadn’t arrived. She’d said traffic was really bad too.
And ever since Muenfah stepped out to work, the hardworking shop owner hadn’t come back to check on him. He’d walked past several times, and Theerak admitted to himself that he kept craning his neck to watch Muenfah, even flashing a smile when the tall figure stood with his back turned far away.
After all, Muenfah was the only person he knew in the whole shop…
…If he wasn’t waiting for Muenfah, who else would he wait for?
But Muenfah was so busy—busy like a spider spinning its web—and hadn’t come to see him at all
Creak!
The sound of the door jolted the lonely figure, who’d been slumped over the table, to quickly lift his head. But the person who’d just entered wasn’t Muenfah, and Theerak didn’t recognize this man. He guessed he wasn’t a customer, though, because the guy opened the door with confidence and even gave him a friendly smile.
“My name’s Real, Fah’s business partner.”
“Oh, uh, so you’re Real…”
“That’s right.”
Theerak responded with a smile. He didn’t hold anything against Real anymore after Muenfah explained everything. Greeting someone he was meeting for the first time with a smile seemed like the best approach.
“Phii Fah isn’t in here. He’s out working over there…”
Real glanced at the thin lips that pouted toward the restaurant owner, who was smoking far off in the distance. He couldn’t help but smile at the endearing behavior of this kid. Instead of pointing with his finger, Theerak pouted his lips toward his friend and even furrowed his brows slightly while looking at Muenfah.
What was this vibe? Was Fah being sulked at by this kid?
“I’m not here for Fah. I came to see you.” Real said as he sat down across from him.
Men didn’t quite fit the description of “small” all that well. Even if they were small, they were still bigger than women. Real was one of those who couldn’t picture a guy being called “the little one.” He didn’t know how slim or delicate that kind of smallness would be—or if it was almost feminine.
Usually, “small” was a term reserved for women.
But seeing Theerak made him understand what a “small” guy could be like. He had a petite, compact frame that seemed easy to carry around. Judging by eye, Theerak was probably a little over 170 cm—maybe not even 173 cm. His arms, legs, and torso were all small, giving him a body structure noticeably slighter than the average man’s. Not quite as small as a woman’s, just a tad bigger.
But for a guy… he’s still pretty small, huh?
… Even though he’s small, there’s one thing that’s disproportionately big— his chubby, chubby-cheeks that constantly draw attention. Theerak has a slim face, but somehow he’s got these full cheeks.
It makes him look like a little guy who’s just begging to have his cheeks squished until they deflate…
“Phii Real, do you have something you want with me?”
“I wanted to come apologize for what I said that day about…”
“I already know everything. Phii Fah told me all about it. Phii Real, you don’t have to overthink it anymore. I’m not mad at you.”
“Thanks, you little guy, for understanding me…”
Theerak gave a faint smile to welcome his new nickname. Fat puppy, chubby-cheeks, and now “little guy”—everyone kept giving him these adorable labels. Sometimes, Theerak wished he’d get a cooler nickname for once, like… Theerak the Handsome, Theerak the Cool, or even Rak, the Eternally Stylish.
He wanted something like that for a change! T___T
But still…
“It’s fine, I understand…”
“How long have you been here?”
“Since the evening. My sister dropped me off, but she’ll probably come pick me up soon.”
“Poor thing, abandoned by your sister and then ditched by Fah too…”
“Yeah, and soon you gonna abandon me too.”
“Rak… if you say it like that, why don’t you just come home with me?”
Theerak burst out laughing, his mouth wide open, because Phii Real said it with a jokingly exaggerated expression. But the person who’d just walked in with a calm, blank face made him snap his mouth shut instantly. “Phii Fah…”
“Go back to your dad’s house, you damn Real…”
“Fah, you bastard!”
“Why the hell are you so startled…”
Muenfah walked over and sat next to the little guy, since his original spot had already been taken by his close friend. For the first time in years, Theerak felt annoyed by Real’s panicked expression.
“When did you get here? I just saw you smoking outside a minute ago…”
“What, am I supposed to smoke all day and night or something?”
The faint scent of mint mixed with a light cologne wafted past his nose every time the person beside him moved. From observing Muenfah the whole time he’d been here, Theerak figured Muenfah was a pretty heavy smoker. But strangely, his body didn’t reek of cigarettes. It didn’t sting his nose like when Type sat next to him right after smoking. That must be because Muenfah wore cologne, which toned it down a bit.
He didn’t know what cologne it was… but it smelled amazing.
He only really noticed it clearly just now.
But if he got any closer, he wouldn’t be able to smell it… because he’d probably die first.
“I didn’t say you smoke all day and night ~ Just surprised at when you showed up.”
“I showed up when you were about to invite Rak to go home with you.”
“I was kidding. Who’d dare take the kid home…?”
“If you did, you’d get a kick from me.”
“Even a best friend like me can’t take him home, so who could?”
“Me.”
Muenfah’s words were short, concise, and clear, but to Real, they felt incredibly vague. The phrase “Me” from his close friend could be interpreted in many ways. But knowing Muenfah’s personality “Me” probably meant, “Mine, don’t mess with him.”
But judging by the way Muenfah’s gaze shifted from him to the smaller guy, that phrase could take on another meaning:
“Me” probably meant…
“How was it? While you was gone, how many scoops of ice cream did he ask the staff for?”
“Only I’ll be the one in his eyes.”
“I only ate those two scoops, that’s it. Otherwise, if your restaurant goes broke, you’ll blame me again.”
And the smile Muenfah gave right now truly carried that meaning.
Real sat watching his close friend, whose behavior was noticeably different from usual—and in a good way. Muenfah seemed gentler, more attentive, and was making more effort. Real knew well that what his friend was trying to do wasn’t easy at all.
A quiet guy trying to ask questions first, a stoic guy trying to smile wider, a guy who usually didn’t care about others but was trying to show he did. This Fah was trying to be a better person for this kid, huh…
Real didn’t know exactly what his friend was thinking or feeling, but relying on their close friendship and his decent understanding of Muenfah’s character, he guessed that Theerak must mean quite a bit to him. Still, to be more certain, Real wanted to test it a little further.
“Hey, Fah, you left the kid sitting here all alone and bored. If I hadn’t happened to see him and stopped by, Rak would still be sitting here with his chubby-cheeks drooping onto the table.”
Muenfah furrowed his brows slightly while staring at him before turning to the person beside him, who was now blinking rapidly. “Were you so bored your cheeks drooped onto the table?”
“I was a little bored, that’s true, but the part about my cheeks drooping onto the table—Phii Real exaggerated a bit…”
“Hey, when I came in, I saw you with your face pressed against the table, cheeks all piled up on it!”
“How bored were you? As much as your cheeks?” Muenfah asked.
Real pressed his lips together, trying to hold back a smile. Though he rarely heard questions like this from his friend, it didn’t feel funny that his friend was speaking this way. Real just felt it was so gentle it didn’t seem like something Muenfah would say. He was just a listener, not even the one being asked, and yet his heart swelled this much. Real really wanted to know how Theerak felt being asked such cute words by Muenfah.
“If it was as much as my cheeks, that’d be too much. No, not that much— just a little, really.”
And perhaps because the smaller guy was afraid Muenfah wouldn’t believe him, he raised one hand to gesture, showing he was only slightly bored. Real couldn’t help but smile when he saw Theerak bring his thumb and index finger close together, almost touching, as if to emphasize, “Just a little, really, okay?”
Muenfah was still the same person who rarely smiled—something Real knew well as normal. But what wasn’t normal, and confirmed Real’s suspicions, was how his friend had started smiling more often because of this kid. Like right now, Muenfah had a faint smile while watching the small figure make cute gestures.
At this moment, Real realized that the one who’d claim this vast sky called Fah didn’t have to be a woman—it could be anyone who could bring color to the dark, starless expanse of the sky, more vibrant than ever before.
Someone who could spark a smile across that sky.
And he hoped Theerak would truly be that person.
Theerak held his pose, not because he feared Muenfah wouldn’t believe him, but because that gesture managed to coax another smile from him. He didn’t know when it started—maybe when Muenfah gave him the remaining forty-five minutes, or just three seconds ago. But whenever it was… Theerak realized he wanted to make Muenfah smile more often.
And Theerak didn’t know if Muenfah noticed how much he loved making his heart race. Like right now, when Muenfah grabbed his hand, held it, placed it on his lap, and then switched to interlocking their fingers.
“I’m not going anywhere…” Muenfah said to him before turning to Real. “You go handle the restaurant for me. And if that guy Tim asks about carrying the cake again, tell him I’m sticking to my answer—no way. I’m also not joining his ex’s birthday party. I’ll stay here with Rak, so he doesn’t feel as lonely as his chubby-cheeks.”
Real smirked. “Alright, I’ll deal with your friend. You stay with Rak.”
Theerak wanted to stop Real and keep him there. Right now, he didn’t want to be alone with Muenfah—just the two of them. He’d rather feel as lonely as his chubby-cheeks than sit holding hands to chase away the loneliness. But Real seemed eager to leave, perhaps feeling awkward about Muenfah’s actions. He stood up and walked out without even glancing back at Theerak or Muenfah.
Now, in the glass-walled room, it was just him and Muenfah. Theerak wanted to reclaim his hand, but he didn’t even dare look at Muenfah’s face. He stole a glance at the other, who was now picking up his phone to tap at something. Muenfah did everything with one hand.
Yes… he wouldn’t let go of Theerak’s hand at all.
“Feeling less lonely yet?”
“Not lonely anymore, Phii Fah. You can let go of my hand now.”
Muenfah turned to meet his eyes, giving a faint smile before returning his attention to his phone. But what followed wasn’t freedom for Theerak. Instead, the broad hand invaded further, sliding fingers to interlock with his own. As Muenfah tightened his grip, the warmth from his palm transferred to Theerak’s body, making him feel hot all over.
Beyond the unbearable heat coursing through him, something was stirring in his stomach. It must’ve been winged creatures—beautiful, colorful ones. When they spread their wings and fluttered around inside, Theerak felt a mix of lightness and a hollow swoop. It was a sensation he couldn’t explain, and he figured there must be enough of them to make him feel this flustered.
Before he could start feeling even stranger about himself, Theerak decided to muster the strength to pull his hand free from the other’s grasp. But his effort was too weak, and Muenfah didn’t even notice the attempt to reclaim it. Everything stayed the same… his hand was still held captive by Muenfah. “Can I trick you into letting me hold it a bit longer?”
“…”
T___T Trick me? Was there really someone like this? If he said no, wouldn’t that be too harsh on Muenfah?
Right now, even a thousand butterflies couldn’t stir him up as much as that single sentence from Muenfah. Theerak sat still, silently questioning himself over and over, trying to figure out why Muenfah had such an influence on his emotions. He knew he wouldn’t get an answer anytime soon, but at the very least, he recognized that Muenfah was different from others.
The buzzing vibration from his black phone made Theerak glance back at Muenfah again. He looked between his buzzing phone, signaling a notification, and the hand that had been stolen from him. Though he didn’t take his eyes off his phone screen, it seemed Muenfah understood what he was trying to convey, prompting him to say something.
“Use your other hand to pick up the phone instead. I still want to hold this one.”
“But I’m not good with my other hand, Phii Fah. Can’t you let go for a sec? I’ll give it back after the call.”
It’s his hand, T___T! Why did he have to “give it back” to Muenfah?! But he had to say it to get the other to let go first.
“…You’ll give it back, right?”
Oh no… Phii Fah, seriously! How could this poker-faced guy just claim someone else’s hand as his own?!
The moment Muenfah finally released his hand, Theerak quickly grabbed his phone to answer the call. The name on the screen told him that soon he’d be saved from this heart-attack-inducing situation. “Phii Babe, where are you? You’re here, right?”
[I am coming there. I was going to call and ask you to get Fah to drop you home.]
“Huh!!”
[Traffic’s really bad, Rak. I even took a shortcut, but it doesn’t pass Fah’s restaurant. If I go pick you up, I’d have to backtrack a lot. I was going to, but the traffic’s insane. Otherwise, I wouldn’t get home until midnight.]
“No way, I… I’d feel bad for him.”
[Then let me talk to Fah.]
“Phii Babe…” Theerak called his sister’s name weakly, already guessing she’d step in to convince Muenfah.
[Put Fah on the line, Rak.]
Theerak sighed before handing the phone to the person beside him. Muenfah took it and spoke effortlessly, not asking a single question. He listened to the conversation between his sister and Muenfah for a moment, then Muenfah handed the phone back. His sister had already hung up— without even bothering to check if he was okay with it.
“Let’s head back. I will drop you off.”
“Honestly, I can get back on my own.”
“I know, but it’s better if I take you.”
“Did Phii Babe force you, Phii Fah…? She’s always worrying too much.”
“No one can force me to do anything. I dropped you off because I wanted to.”
“…”
Muenfah stood up to his full height and extended his hand toward the other. “Give me your hand back, please. I’m not using it for anything anymore…”
Did Muenfah secretly know his “fat puppy” nickname or something? Asking for his hand like he was a little pup. And if he refused to give it back to the tall guy, Theerak would end up looking like someone who didn’t keep his word. So, reluctantly, he handed his hand over to Muenfah.
The two of them walked out of the glass-walled room toward the parking lot, as Muenfah had suggested. Along the way, several pairs of eyes turned to watch them, but Theerak couldn’t tell how many because he was too nervous to look up and kept his head down. All he could see were Muenfah’s Vans shoes, deliberately taking short steps when he could’ve easily strode longer and faster.
“Walk carefully, okay? I will take it slow.”
That familiar low voice made him lift his head to look.
“Y-Yes.”
Theerak only then realized why the tall guy was choosing to walk so slowly.
Why did Muenfah have to be this considerate…?
Now, instead of staring at the ground, Theerak shifted his gaze to the broad back of the tall figure in front of him. Muenfah made him feel safer. No matter what problem came up, Muenfah would always be there to help him.
The tall restaurant owner led him to the parking lot, maintaining a steady pace—not too fast, not too slow. But suddenly, Muenfah slowed down and came to a complete stop. Theerak didn’t know what caused it because he couldn’t see ahead—Muenfah’s frame blocked everything. The hand that had been held earlier was released, and this sudden change piqued Theerak’s curiosity. He leaned forward to peek ahead.
He saw a tall, strikingly beautiful woman—so beautiful that he thought plenty of people could fall for her in just a few minutes of seeing her. She smiled at Muenfah, and the tall guy beside him smiled back, but it was a faint smile, not the morning-sunlight kind that Theerak liked so much.
“Rak, I need to handle some business for a moment. Go wait at the car first, okay?” Muenfah said as he handed him the car keys. Theerak nodded and took them, guessing that Muenfah wanted to talk to the woman privately without him around.
Theerak started walking away toward the black Benz sports car parked not too far off, but that familiar deep voice stopped him in his tracks.
“Rak…”
“Yes?” Theerak turned to look at the tall figure. A large hand reached out and gently ruffled his hair, and then that smile—the one like morning sunlight—appeared on Muenfah’s otherwise calm face.
“Just a sec, okay? I’ll catch up with you soon.”
“Yes.”
Theerak nodded eagerly before walking over to get into the car. He placed the car keys on the driver’s seat, waiting for Muenfah to take care of everything himself. Theerak didn’t dare touch this fancy car, and since he wasn’t doing much with it, he let his eyes wander around to find a good spot to rest his gaze while waiting for Muenfah. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on the two of them talking, but since Muenfah and that woman were standing right in front of him, not too far away, it was hard to avoid.
Muenfah chatted with the woman in a familiar, friendly manner, smiling and laughing as if they knew each other well. But soon, Muenfah waved goodbye to her and walked straight to the car. Once the owner settled into the driver’s seat, he started the engine and drove away from the shop. On the way, the two of us conversed through silence. The atmosphere was noticeably different from before, and Theerak couldn’t figure out what this vague feeling and mood were about. Once again, he couldn’t find an answer for himself.
But all his thoughts came to a halt when the car owner took one hand off the steering wheel and turned on some soft background music. Theerak guessed Muenfah was trying to chase away the silence, but something unexpected happened again—Muenfah casually grabbed his hand and held it, just like before.
“Every time, you don’t use this hand for anything. You should return it to me, okay?”
“This is my hand, Phii Fah…”
“Didn’t you give it to me already? You said you’d return it.”
“Why does you like holding other people’s hands so much?” Theerak frowned in confusion, trying to pull his hand back, but it was held firm. Then Muenfah intertwined all five of his fingers tightly with Theerak’s palm once more.
“If you were someone else, I wouldn’t touch them.”
“…”
“I want us to get close. Can you get close to me?”
Muenfah’s question made his heart tremble like crazy. Theerak had only ever been asked to be someone’s boyfriend or friend—he’d never been asked to “get close” before. Becoming close with someone comes from building a good relationship and learning about each other. It’s not something you can just request—it requires consistent effort and care toward the other person.
“To get close, you have to make it feel real, right, Phii Fah? It’s not just about asking permission and then it happens.”
“This is the first time I have asked to get close to someone first. I don’t really know how to make it happen. What do I need to do? Can you give me some advice?”
“Aw, Phii Fah, I’m not an expert at this either…” Not really, though— before he knew it, he’d already gotten close to everyone naturally. Like with his friends in the group, they just became close on their own without needing any specific methods like Muenfah was asking for. “Maybe it’s about talking a lot, being together all the time? When I first met Li, we weren’t close either. But after studying together every day and talking about everything, we ended up getting close. Honestly, I don’t know what ‘being close’ means to everyone else, but for me, it’s about trusting each other, being ready to share stories—whether they’re happy or sad—and going through things together. And because we share those stories, we slowly absorb each other’s true selves without realizing it. By the time we notice, we already understand each other. Some people get so close they can just look into each other’s eyes and know what the other’s thinking, Phii Fah…”
Muenfah gave a faint smile, amused that the person who claimed not to be good at this was explaining it so fluently, chattering away with pursed lips until he wanted to let go of his hand just to pinch that mouth shut.
“Then can I start sharing my stories with you now? I want to get close quickly, okay?”
“…” Theerak stared at the tall man who was looking at the road ahead, then asked curiously, “Why does you want to get close to me?”
“Sometimes, I want someone in my life who makes it hard to hold back a smile.”
Oh… that’s a reason to just drop dead… I don’t even know what to say next, my brain’s completely blank.
“…”
“I don’t know where to start sharing. What does you want to know? I’ll tell you.”
“…” At first, I didn’t want to know anything about Muenfah. But seeing him smile and laugh with that woman made me curious. Still, it might be too personal, so Theerak shook his head to decline. “Nothing, really.”
“Then I’ll start with what I think is the worst thing about myself. If we’re going to get closer, at least one of us should know what bad habits the other used to have, what flaws we’ve got…”
“…”
“But don’t hate me after hearing it, Rak… I’m not that bad person anymore.”
“…”
“You can be upset with what I did, but don’t hate me, okay?”
“…” Theerak weighed it for a moment. Just how awful was Muenfah in the past to be this worried? But someone who’s done wrong and wants to change deserves forgiveness the most. So, Theerak nodded, bracing himself to hear about Muenfah’s past.
“The worst thing I think I ever did was probably when I was with my ex— the one I was just talking to…”
“…” I knew it… there was something between them while they were chatting. The way that woman looked at Muenfah, her eyes were so happy.
“Yaem was my close friend in 10th grade. By 11th grade, we started dating because we both realized our feelings went beyond friendship. We broke up after graduating 12th grade, and it was because of me. I knew what could’ve saved our relationship, but I wouldn’t do it. Back then, I wasn’t ready to change myself for anyone. Simply put, I loved who I was so much that I became selfish without realizing it. I thought that some of the things she expected me to do, or the person she wanted me to be, weren’t in my nature—not the real me. If I didn’t feel comfortable doing something, I just wouldn’t. I don’t even want to use the excuse that I was young back then. At that age, I was old enough to think better, but I still chose my own comfort over everything else.”
“…”
“The main issue that built up over time and led to our breakup was that I didn’t really show the people around us that I loved her. When someone asked what Yaem was to me, I’d just say ‘my girlfriend,’ and that’d be it—no further explanation. Sometimes, Yaem wanted me to show others that I loved her, to introduce her to people as my girlfriend without waiting for them to ask if I had one. Back then, I thought, ‘I love her, we’re together, who cares what others think?’ Plus, I didn’t like answering personal questions like that. But looking back, maybe I should’ve shown it more. I should’ve given her more respect as my partner. All along, it seemed like I didn’t love Yaem, but the truth is, I loved her a lot. It was just my personality that made people see it differently. When Yaem broke up with me, my whole body went numb—I truly understood what loss felt like.”
“…”
“At first, I carried a lot of guilt too. I never thought about forgiving myself. That’s why I understand how hard it is for you, Rak, to move past this feeling. But thankfully, Yaem could still be friends with me. Yaem said that the failure of this relationship wasn’t just my fault—it was hers too. When we were friends, we didn’t have expectations of each other. But once we started dating, it was impossible not to have expectations of your partner, impossible not to want them to be this or that. Yaem felt guilty too because she knew me so well, knew what my personality was like, yet she still asked me to do things that went against who I am. Back then, we talked it out rationally, and that helped lessen the guilt we felt toward each other… Yaem said that throughout our time together, we were really happy. I agreed with her. Even though that happiness was less than when we were just friends, we still had good memories together. It wasn’t all arguments or falling out—it’s just that, in the end, we both decided it’d be better to go back to being friends. That way, it’d be better than staying together and accidentally hurting each other more.”
“…”
“After that, I never dated anyone else because I was scared of feeling as bad as I did when I broke up with Yam. I was afraid of that sense of something missing in life coming back again. Adjusting to living every day without her wasn’t easy at all. But one thing that helped me was time. Time really does heal, and it also helped me see Yam as just a friend again.”
“…”
“So I told myself… if I ever falls in love again, if I really get to love someone else, I’ll love them as much as a lover should. I’ll care for them more, show them how I feel, try to be a better person every day, and make them feel they didn’t make a mistake choosing me.”
“…” Theerak didn’t have much experience with love. He didn’t know how complex and delicate the emotions tied to it could be. But after hearing Muenfah’s story, he thought Muenfah wasn’t a bad person at all. It was a mistake anyone could make. In the past, Muenfah might have loved himself too much, but now he’d learned his lesson and wanted to become a better version of himself for a future partner.
Someone who takes past mistakes and uses them to improve themselves, someone who doesn’t want to repeat them—
That kind of person… he wanted to keep supporting them moving forward…
But maybe because Muenfah was afraid of being hated, he gripped his hand tighter, as if scared Theerak would change. He was probably worried that Theerak might not want to get close anymore. Theerak gave a small smile before gently squeezing the thicker hand to let him know he was still there. He was still right here, still ready to get close to this new Muenfah.
“Well, you changed now, right? You’re not someone who only cares about yourself and ignores others anymore. Why would I have to hate you? And do you know, Phii Fah, that you trying to become a better person… it makes me want to get close to you faster too?”
“…” Muenfah didn’t reply, just kept holding his hand as before.
“Thank you… Thank you for supporting someone who’s trying to be a better person.”
“You’re welcome. I will be here cheering you on, Phii Fah. I’ll keep telling you, ‘Shoo, shoo,’ like the sound of the ocean waves. If you ever feel discouraged, just come to me—I’ll refill your energy for you.”
“You’ve got a lot of encouragement to give, huh?”
“So much, even more than my own cheeks…”
Muenfah gave a small smile before speaking softly, almost as if to himself,
“You turned me into a talkative person…”
But Theerak heard that sentence loud and clear.
“…”
The light from the streetlamps spilling into the car illuminated Muenfah’s smile—a smile that always made Theerak unconsciously smile back. And in the moment when Muenfah used just one hand to turn the steering wheel at an intersection, he briefly took his eyes off the road to meet Theerak’s gaze before returning his focus to the road ahead. In the next split second, Theerak caught a wider smile from Muenfah—a smile that made him grin broadly in return…
A smile that made the soft international song playing in the background suddenly sound clearer.
‘And, I’m, thinking’ bout, how, people, fall, in, love, in, mysterious, ways’
That lyric said… ‘And I’m thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways.’
“My hands are all sweaty. Did Phii Fah hold them too tight?”
‘Maybe just the touch of a hand’
And the next line of the song answered his question for him. The answer was… ‘Maybe just the touch of a hand.’
“I think so too.”
TBC
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