MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 57: Switch
[Bohn]
“What’s going on between you and Mai?”
“Just a little issue.” I avoided answering that, the fact that he had everyone wait outside shows he doesn’t want anyone to know. What would I gain by talking about it?
“Really just a little?”
“Whether it’s little or not, let’s just go shower…Today’s the day, you!!! I’ve prepared myself mentally!!! I’m going to jump into the waterfall!!” So, this morning, Boss didn’t jump because the water was too cold, so he chickened out, but King dared to; he was trembling. Instead of getting out quickly, he stood there laughing and playing in the water until we had to call him to get out. “I chased after a water kangaroo and caught up…no, it got washed away by the water, haha.” Help, my friend…
But…despite everything, Duen hasn’t come to apologize to me. No, he hasn’t even spoken to me today, or does he think I’m really mad and doesn’t want to come close because he’s afraid I’ll lash out at him? Damn, how did I come across?
“Bohn…”
A pull from behind made me turn around; the one pulling me was none other than the person I just mentioned…
“Slow…oh, King.”
“Who did you think it was?”
“Who else could it be…” I turned to look at my best friend; King was watching Mai’s retreating figure until he was out of sight, then he turned to me. Our eyes met, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“I think Duen is really acting strangely.”
“I think so too, but he’ll probably go back to normal soon.” I shrugged. If he doesn’t want me to be alone or he’s afraid I’ll lash out, maybe he hasn’t figured out how to apologize because he’s never had a girlfriend. Come kiss me then; it would solve everything.
“Maybe…by pretending to be mad, you might have made him think you’re bored with him, especially combined with the Mai situation…”
I didn’t stay to listen to anything else; my legs ran quickly to the waterfall, my heart racing as I thought about what my lover might be thinking. I had never considered this before; I only pretended to be mad to see how he would apologize. I didn’t want it to be like this; deep down, I secretly hoped my best friend was wrong…
Don’t be mad at me, Duen.
“You’re here, Phii Bohn? I thought you weren’t going to shower.” Phu, who was sitting on a rock, said with a laugh. I didn’t bother to respond; my eyes scanned the area for my lover’s slender figure, but there was no trace of him.
“Phew…where did Duen go?”
“The fool? Oh…I think he went to be a model for Ting. What’s up? Oh…you want to play in the water with your ‘wife’?”
“Where?”
“I don’t know, probably up there…Hey, where are you rushing off to?”
Once I got the answer, I immediately ran to where he mentioned. The path wasn’t very high; it was a slope with steps made of earth. I ran up the earthen steps. I didn’t know where Duen and Ting were, but I didn’t want to sit and wait there. I wanted to see him, talk to him, wanted him to smile at me…
“Sit there…ah, hold it. Lift one leg up, yeah, yeah…okay.”
“Is this good? I feel like I’m posing like a dork, haha.”
“Not good…it’s perfect, I love it.”
After running for a while, I heard the voices of the two close friends. The place they were at was on the upper terrace of the waterfall, where there was no one else but Duen and Tingting. I stared at the one I was looking for; on Duen’s head was a crown of skeleton flowers…their petals were as thin as my feelings at that moment, and perhaps as thin as our relationship too.
“Duen.” I walked over and stopped where they were taking photos. The one I called paused for a moment but quickly returned to normal. He didn’t even look at me…King was right after all, wasn’t he?
“Can I talk to Duen for a bit?” The female photographer didn’t look at me either. Right now, even a dragonfly perched on a tree seemed to have more presence than me. Tingting must certainly know about this.
“Keep shooting, why stop? I came all the way here to be your model, you know. My fee is high, man.” The model sitting on the rock said jokingly…I would have laughed before, but not now.
“No matter how high your fee is, I can pay it…lift your hand to hold it between your legs, yeah, yeah…and raise your knees on the rock…”
“Put on a blank expression…you look cool, my friend, go find yourself a beautiful wife.”
“Tingting, please…I want to talk to Duen.” I walked closer. She still acted like she didn’t see or hear me, and so did Duen.
“Duen, put your hands and feet on the rock…yeah, yeah, you can even sleep there, my Nong Duen is the most ‘Yod’ ever.”
“Ting…don’t you feel sorry for me? Duen looks at me like I’m invisible.” I said in a weak voice. Ting bit her dry lips, troubled, and the sweat on her cheeks was evidence that she was starting to soften.
“Duen…I want you to look lively, smile a bit.”
“Tingting…let me talk to Duen, please.” This was the first time I used such a pitiful voice; it wasn’t fake…it came from my heart.
“Nong.”
“Ting, keep shooting, I’m only giving you an hour. Almost half an hour has passed already. I don’t agree to do this often, you know.” Seeing that his friend was about to give in, the model told her to clamp her lips shut tightly. “Uh…”
“Please.”
“Ting.”
“Alright! I won’t interfere anymore, do whatever you want!!”
She took off her slippers and carried them while slinging her camera over her shoulder, walking away in frustration. She probably wanted to help both her best friend and me. I promise that when we get back to Bangkok, I’ll introduce her to some handsome guys.
“If you do anything to my friend, Phii Bohn, I will kill you for sure!! Damn, not only do I not get to enjoy men, but now I have to mediate between fighting couples, God is cruel, this year on my birthday, I’m going to get my breasts and uterus removed, fly to New Zealand to get a sperm transplant, go to France to build some muscles, and get a mustache in London! This time, you’ll see! I’m going after every man in the world!!” She mumbled all the way, I couldn’t hear much but knew it was pitiful.
“Duen…are you mad at me?” I walked into the water to stand between the other’s legs, my hands loosely around his slim waist. The water wasn’t deep, only knee-high, but I felt like I was drowning…it was suffocating like I couldn’t breathe.
“…”
The person I was talking to didn’t turn around. He lifted his wrist to take off his watch and gently rubbed it. I didn’t like it being like this at all. Normally, I would be the one getting angry, but this time it was reversed. He was the one mad at me, and I was truly at fault…
“I’ve come to beg for forgiveness, please stop being mad.” I took his hand and pressed it against my cheek, rubbing it back and forth. How long has he been here for his hand to be this cold? He never cares about his own health, what kind of doctor is he?
“How did you know I was mad? Don’t tell me you just knew, I won’t believe it.” Duen looked up at me with a gaze I didn’t like at all. He was looking at me…but there was no me in his eyes.
“King told me…”
“Huh, nice. Phii King isn’t even my boyfriend, yet he understands my feelings, while my actual boyfriend knows nothing. Who’s supposed to be my boyfriend here?”
Damn…it hurts so much. He’s right about everything; King isn’t Duen’s boyfriend, but he understands and knows Duen is acting differently, while I couldn’t see it. And I was foolishly waiting for him to apologize just to see him being sweet, how stupid of me.
“Should we break up?”
Everything around us slowed down when he said those words, words I never thought I’d hear from him. My heart seemed to stop for a moment. I stared at my lover’s face; it looked just as pained as mine, with clear tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes.
No way…
“If you’re bored with me, I won’t hold you back. You can go find anyone you want, do whatever you want with whoever…but we need to break up first.”
“Don’t say that…”
“What…hey!”
I pulled Duen’s face close before pressing my lips onto his beautiful ones, using the moment when he was in shock to slip my tongue into his mouth. I crushed his lips with mine, hard…it hurt, but I wanted him to feel how much I was hurting too, hurting from the words he just said.
“Ugh!” Duen tried to turn his face away and push me off, but I wouldn’t let go…
I moved my hand to lock his neck, not letting him escape, my tongue seeking the sweetness inside, while he tried to avoid it. I wasn’t annoyed by his actions…on the contrary, it felt good.
Even the initial harsh, painful contact softened over time. Finally, the person in front of me let out a small moan. I smiled when I saw Duen like that.
“…”
“I don’t want to hear ‘break up’ from your mouth.” I pulled back from the kiss, pressing our foreheads together. His face was flushed, I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or embarrassment.
“Then what should I say! My boyfriend is cheating on me! Should I say, ‘Oh, please, go ahead, do whatever you want, I won’t mind,’ is that it?” He hit my chest with a thud, it hurt, but I didn’t complain or stop him.
“I’m not cheating.” I gently kissed the corner of his mouth; he made a huffing sound, pushing my face away forcefully.
“Anyone can say that.” Seeing that I wasn’t going to let go of Duen, he gave in, sitting still, allowing me to hug him. From initially sitting on the rock, now we were both in the water together. Was I really that harsh?
“I didn’t cheat on you, really, Duen.” I wrapped my arm around his slender waist, lifted him back onto the rock, and immediately squeezed between his legs.
“…”
“I’m sorry.” These words came from my heart. Now, there were no other words in my head except “sorry.” I didn’t like us being like this. I didn’t like him not caring. I didn’t like what he said, his expression, his demeanor, I didn’t like everything he did before.
“Sorry? Do you even know why I’m mad…you probably don’t, even when I’m mad, you still don’t get it. If Phii King hadn’t told you, you would never have known, right?”
“You saw it yesterday, didn’t you?” I rested my head on his shoulder, raised my hand to comb through his hair, not wanting him to be stressed, although I had thought this wouldn’t happen. In the end, it did, damn Mai…it’s all because of you.
“Yeah, I saw…”
“It wasn’t like that, me and him-”
“Are you going to say you didn’t kiss? Probably not, I was standing above, watching clearly.” So, he was watching from above. No wonder I didn’t see anyone when I looked back.
“No…I’m not saying I didn’t kiss.” As soon as I finished my sentence, I moved my other hand to stroke his back. I didn’t want to talk about this at all; it felt heavy on my heart somehow.
“…”
“It was like this…I didn’t want to kiss Mai. It wasn’t even a kiss. Our lips just touched. I didn’t tongue him like I do with you.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t do this, talk to me, I’m telling the truth. Mai did that when I wasn’t prepared. I was shocked, so I couldn’t resist. Our lips touched for less than four seconds…I kissed you much longer, look.” I leaned down to kiss him again, another time he resisted though he knew he couldn’t match my strength.
“Ugh, damn!” Eventually, I had to pull back because the person in front of me seemed like he was running out of breath. When our lips parted, he was breathing heavily, gulping in air.
“Duen…talk to me, please.” I hugged him tighter, rocking him like soothing a child. Normally, Duen would crack a smile when I did this…but not this time.
“…”
“…Duen, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? You said you weren’t cheating.” Why does he get so sharp-tongued when he’s mad? I leaned down to bite his white cheek playfully; he’s quite fierce when he’s upset, this fool.
“I really wasn’t cheating, sorry for not telling you, sorry for everything.”
“Why apologize if you weren’t going to tell me in the first place!”
“…I didn’t want you to know, to avoid causing problems.” I was taken aback by his yelling. Normally, Duen is the calm one, and I’m the hotheaded one. I’ve never seen him like this before…look at what I’ve done.
“That’s not a good answer, Bohn, it’s just an excuse.”
“It’s not an excuse…how should I put it? I thought you wouldn’t get jealous or angry, so I didn’t tell you.” I said the last sentence softly, scratching the back of my neck, not knowing how to explain.
“Idiot! You’re my boyfriend! How can I not feel anything? Doing this means you don’t care about my feelings at all, Bohn!!” I was shocked by the shout, but even more shocked when I saw clear tears streaming from my lover’s beautiful eyes.
“I do care, I care about your feelings more than anyone else’s, don’t cry, Duen…I’m sorry.” I gently wiped away his tears, afraid of hurting him.
“You’re crazy, sob, stupid as hell…are you a buffalo or what? I’m your boyfriend! How can I not be jealous…”
“Don’t cry, be quiet for a second…”
“Fine…”
“Please stop being mad at me, I only love you, Duen.” I pressed our foreheads together again. We were so close I could feel his warm breath. I wondered what my face looked like now, all I knew was that my cheeks hurt…was I smiling that widely?
“You dumbass, sob. If you do this again, I’ll break up-, ugh!” Not letting him finish his sentence, I bent down to bite his lower lip softly, then let go, making a sound that sent shivers down my spine.
“I told you not to say that word.”
“Let go! I need to change my clothes, damn it…I’ve already showered and gotten dressed.” I only just noticed he had showered and dressed. At first, I was going to let him go, but then I thought…
“You don’t need to go yet, I haven’t showered either, come shower with me.”
“No…you have no respect for nature.”
“The spirits won’t mind, they want to see lovers, not angry people.”
“…”
“Make up.”
“I wanted to be mad at you longer…to match what you did yesterday.”
“Okay, it can be as long as you want, but there must be a day when you forgive me. In the meantime, don’t even think about anyone better than me…okay?”
“…What if I accidentally find someone better than you?”
“…”
“What will you do?”
“I’ll sit here and cry, and see if you choose them or me, who is heartbroken.” I rested my head on his round shoulder, feeling strangely empty…what should I do? I don’t like it, but I feel it’s deserved. At the same time, I feel it shouldn’t be, he should be mine alone, but I’m too much of a mess too…damn it, what can I do other than cry?
“Stay with me. Even though I’m a mess, I love you the most…”
“If there’s a next time, there won’t be an ‘us’ anymore.”
“…”
“Thank you for loving me just as much. I can’t stand seeing you look so down.” After saying this, the other person leaned down to hug me back, as if to make sure he wasn’t thinking of going anywhere, …damn, my eyes are getting hot.
I love you to death.
“Bohn and Duen are back from their honeymoon!!”
“Yayyyyyyyyy!!”
“I bet you’re pregnant for sure, damn, Bohn, your water’s good!”
“Shit, with wildlife and nature as witnesses to love, so romantic!!”
Before Duen and I could even walk into the tent, there was cheering from all directions. Huh, honeymoon…? Oh, I get it now, I guess Phu and Tingting told everyone.
“Oh…you look all wrinkly and pale, go dry off, come on! Where did you guys go to bathe?” Tang came over to tease us. How could we not be wrinkly, we were in the water for nearly an hour. I’ve never bathed for so long before, but this time…I think it made me the happiest.
“Duen my friend, are you okay? Why are your lips so red? Did you eat something spicy?” When Phu, Tang’scode junior, came over to check on the lips of the person next to me. Me. It was spicy, I even hissed…I was the one who got slapped on the shoulder until I hissed.
“Shh, be quiet, Phu, go grab my clothes, I need to change.”
“Oh, oh. Didn’t you already shower once? What did you get dirty with now, huh, huh?”
“That’s my business! Go get them!” You’ll see Duen in his divine form. It’s not ordinary, I’ve seen it before. Scary as hell.
“Alright, alright.”
“Bom, get me some clothes.” I called to my close friend who was reading, not wanting to go in because I might get wet. To tell the truth, no one ever goes in there wet…except for that idiot.
Snap
“Are you going to change with your ‘nong’?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh my, showering together and now changing clothes together, is there anything more awesome, Bohn?” Boss smirked; before it was just playful…but now I think you’re really starting to get bold, huh?
“There is…tonight, I’ll sleep with him.”
I gave a sly smile, wrapping my arm around the waist of the person next to me, who was looking bored with the world. I’ve been arguing with him since we were at the waterfall. Duen wouldn’t let me sleep with him, claiming the friends would be upset if they didn’t get to sleep with him. I didn’t pay much attention to his excuses…my heart has been weak since he said we should break up. Now I need some attention.
“Urrghhhhhh.”
“This isn’t a volunteer camp anymore, damn it, this is clearly Bohn and Duen’s wedding.” I’d like it to be like that, waiting for that moment, waiting to share a room. We can’t do it in the tent because others will see. I’m quite shy too…sigh.
“There’s no one in the bathroom…where did everyone go?” Eo looked around the bathroom. There wasn’t a single person there, the atmosphere starting to feel strangely eerie.
“It’s six o’clock now. They must have gone to eat.” All our meals are prepared on the high hill, where there’s a small wooden canteen set up by the forestry department.
“Because of you, damn Bohn, we’re stuck here.” Got scolded again…
“Come on, you wouldn’t be eating dinner anyway, right?”
“I’m not eating, but you should, eating at odd hours will give you a stomachache.” Whose boyfriend is this, so adorable, thinking this, I went to kiss his cheek repeatedly until his face shook, which was funny, he glared at me.
“You!! You’ve gone too far, you leech.”
“Gone too far with what?” I pretended to ask, even though I knew exactly what the person in front of me meant. Seeing that I did this, the other side made a frustrated huff.
“Ugh! Don’t come near me, stay away, don’t come within ten meters of me, don’t look, don’t smile, don’t, don’t, don’t, I forbid everything!” Duen furrowed his brows, one hand holding his cheek where I had kissed it, the other pointing back and forth.
“Haha.” I grabbed his slim waist to hug him, swaying playfully. It’s strange, though he’s not that skinny, his waist is surprisingly narrow, really surprising…actually, it’s quite nice, he’s easy to handle.
“Let go! I need to change clothes.” Oh, damn, Duen, you hit me with your elbow, why do you always resort to violence when you’re embarrassed? If you’re not hurting yourself, you’re hurting me.
“Change together-” “Dream on, you bastard!” Bang!
“Come on, Duen, let me in!” He used the moment I was distracted to push me away and ran into the bathroom at high speed…like a cat, when they want to escape, they run just like that.
“Go die!”
Fine, I give up.
There’s no way he’ll let me in, damn it…I’ll just use another room. Why not save some bathrooms for others, so they have options when they come in?
The bathrooms here are quite clean, but there are a lot of Phii Thara’s spider relatives. I’m not scared because I’m bigger than them anyway. But Duen is scared, really scared…aren’t you afraid to go into the bathroom alone? Let me in with you, I’ll kill every one of them.
Knock, Knock
“Duen. You’ve been in there for a while.” It must have been ten minutes. I got dressed faster than you, or maybe he’s been done for a while but doesn’t want to come out because he’s afraid of me?
“One second…I’m done.”
“…”
“…” 18:10 PM. “Let’s go eat.” He grabbed my hand to walk together, but I resisted, holding back. The person in front turned to look at me with confusion.
“Your shirt’s neckline is too wide…” His white V-neck shirt was deeply cut, really deep. I could clearly see his collarbones; he looks good in it, but I don’t like it.
“I didn’t choose it, Phu did. But it’s fine, I’ll be sleeping soon.” Phu, you’re going to get it from me for choosing this shirt. Why did you bring this one, you have plenty of clothes at home?
“I don’t like it, it’s too revealing.” That damn wide-necked shirt, looking down, you can see everything, I see your chest. I understand you’re tall, people shorter than you might not see, but there are plenty of people taller than you, you jerk.
“Who gives a damn, I’m a guy. Who would look?”
“Me!”
“Then it’s just you.”
“It’s not just me-”
“Forget it.” The other brushed it off before dragging me to the canteen. You never listen to me, do you? I said I don’t like it!
I don’t like others looking at you!!
Leave a Reply