EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter  11: Christmas

   “If that’s the case…can I ask for your LINE ID too?”    Phii Hill…?

   The tall figure stood up from his seat, amidst the bewildered looks of the secondyear moon group. Phii Hill walked around the table to stand beside Phii Jijo, right in front of me and Phii Meili.

   “What’s with you, Hill? How could you do this?” Phii Jijo asked, mixed with surprise.    “Why not?”

“Well, I asked for his Line first. You can’t just cut in like this, man.”

“Why can’t I?” Phii Hill said calmly, though his eyes still showed a trace of anger he was trying to hold back, “Are you his boyfriend or something? Why would you have the right to cut others off?”

Phii Hill’s words seemed to reiterate what Phii Jijo had just said.

If you’re not his boyfriend…you don’t have the right to cut others off.

“Wow, what’s this? Don’t you already have someone you like?” Phii Jijo started to protest slightly.

“Don’t you already have someone to chat with?” Phii Hill retorted, which made Phii Jijo start to frown, but neither seemed truly angry; it was more like friends playfully arguing over something trivial.

“Alright, alright, both of you stop it. Medical Moon and Law Moon, it’s time to go practice the walk. C’mon, let’s go, it’s almost time.” Phii Meili tried to intervene, clearly annoyed at having to listen to this pointless argument. “Everyone, let’s move, or Phii Napdao will get mad and we’ll be late again. We might end up practicing until ten tonight, you never know.” she concluded. Her words prompted the moon group to reluctantly get up from their seats with bored expressions, obliged to prepare for the walk practice that they couldn’t avoid.

“Come on, Jijo.” one senior came over, put an arm around Phii Jijo’s neck, and pulled him along.

“Hey, wait up, I haven’t settled this with this doctor guy yet.” Phii Jijo protested as he was being dragged away by his friend.    “That’s enough from you.”

“Nong Ter, let’s talk later.” Phii Jijo, or Jo, shouted to me, “Hill, don’t be sneaky, okay?” Jo left his parting shot before walking away with the other stars.

“Hill, you need to lead, man.”

“Go ahead.”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up.”

Phii Hill, who should have gone with the others who were heading backstage, stayed standing in front of me, not moving. He looked at me with an unreadable expression, but without the anger he had shown before.

Phii Hill said nothing.

I didn’t dare to say anything either.

Including Phii Meili, who seemed to be waiting for some conversation to happen between us.

“Have you eaten yet?” Phii Hill’s question surprised me. I thought he would bring up the earlier incident, but his deep, soft voice had returned to its usual warmth.

“Uh…no.”

“Don’t you like the boxed meals here?”

“…No.”

“Do you want to eat something outside?”

“It’s okay.”

“Then let’s go eat together later. Meili, can I leave the junior with you for a bit?” Phii Hill turned to ask Phii Meili, who looked slightly surprised.

“Of course, Doctor. Meili has been looking after juniors since Bua’s time.” Phii Meili said with pride, “I can take care of him all the time. He’s part of our team now. In exchange, I will borrow the doctor’s summary sheets.”

“Um, sure.” Phii Hill gave a slight smile in acknowledgment, “Even though the sun isn’t too strong, don’t stay in it for more than thirty minutes, okay?”

“Got it, got it, such concern, I’ll make sure to hold an umbrella over him.” Phii Meili’s tone was half-sarcastic, half-annoyed. Phii Hill gave a polite smile before joining the others backstage.

Then Phii Meili dragged me back to the staff’s eating table and told me to wait while she checked if there were any meals left in the bags, unsure if the staff had eaten everything.

“There’s only fried rice left, do you like it?”

“Thank you, Phii.” I nodded in thanks as Phii Meili placed the lunch box on the table and sat down opposite me. I picked up a plastic spoon and started to eat the fried rice from the Foam box with relish. The taste wasn’t bad at all, but when I noticed Phii Meili staring, it almost made me lose my appetite.

“Wh-why are you looking at me?”    “Nothing! Nothing at all!”

“Your voice went high there.” I remarked.

“I wonder who might tell this Meili anything, you know, I want to know the details.”

“Haha.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Phii Meili’s cute, indirect way of asking, but she clearly wanted to know, “So, what does Phii Meili want to know?”

“Since it’s come to this, tell me, is the person Dr. Hill has been posting about and talking about recently you, Nong Ter?” Phii Meili got straight to the point.

“Uh…I don’t know.” but I still wasn’t brave enough to confirm it directly.

“Here’s the evidence.” she pointed at the watch mark on my wrist, “Why aren’t you wearing your watch? You usually wear it every day, right? That’s why there’s such a clear mark.” Phii Meili looked at me as if probing for an answer. It seemed she was determined to extract the truth from me.

“Uh…yes.” I had to admit it reluctantly.

“Admitted it, so it’s you, right?” Phii Meili’s eyes sparkled like she had just solved a great mystery.

“Yes…” I frowned slightly, “Can Phii Meili not tell anyone, please?”

“Why not? Don’t you want others to know that much?”

“I don’t want that.” I said softly. Phii Meili gently placed her left hand on the table, then her expression turned serious.    “Not ready, or what?”

“Yes, not ready at all.” I made a troubled face, and Phii Meili’s smile brightened up.

“Alright, Dr. Hill is probably waiting for you to be ready.” she leaned back into her chair, “I can’t believe it’s you. At first, we were all guessing, even thought it might be someone from another college.”

“So, what now? Can you tell me a bit about how Dr. Hill courted you? I can’t believe he knows how to court someone. Seriously, the whole crew was shocked when he posted that first time with the hashtag #DoctorPayingTheWay.”

I thought for a moment; I felt I could trust Phii Meili. Since she already knew, it wouldn’t hurt to tell her a little bit. I recounted to Phii Meili the same story I told North, about how I liked him since high school,  Christmas (my sister) incident, and added the recent events too.

When  he said…he liked me five years ago.

“Wow, five years, really? I barely lasted two months before finding someone new.” Phii Meili looked shocked, as if she couldn’t believe her ears, “So that means…Doctor Hill liked Nong Ter even before you knew him?”

“It doesn’t…seem possible. Phii Hill only transferred to my school in high school.”

“Oh really? Then maybe you met before that.”

“How can you like someone just from meeting them?” I voiced my thoughts. I don’t remember knowing Phii Hill before that. If it’s just from meeting, it’s hard to believe he could like me, “Plus, when Phii Hill first transferred, we didn’t even talk. I’m not someone who stands out to be well-known.”    “So, Nong Ter, you think…that Dr. Hill was lying?”

“Uh…I don’t know.” I answered hesitantly.

“He’s not lying…I think there might be more to the story that Doctor Hill hasn’t told.” Phii Meili speculated.

“At first, Phii Hill was going to tell me.” I paused, “but I…wasn’t brave enough to hear the whole truth.” My words made Phii Meili let out a big sigh.

“Sigh…this gives me a headache.” Phii Meili held her temples, “And your little sister, what’s her name again, Christmas? Doctor Hill said he only thinks of her as a sibling, right?”

“Yes…”

“But Christmas is like Doctor Hill.”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s the one who asked me to help…pursue Phii Hill.”

“Wow, a tragic love triangle, huh? That’s dramatic, I can’t believe Doctor Hill would have such a moment.” Phii Meili put her hand over her heart, “But still, it’s complicated. Doctor Hill says he only thinks of Christmas as a sibling, but he’s liked Ter for five years. And Ter likes Doctor Hill too, so that makes

Christmas…the extra, doesn’t it?”

“Uh…I wouldn’t say that.”

“Oh, poor little monkey.”

“But I think Phii Hill seems to like Christmas too.” I shared what I had been thinking all along.

“Not necessarily, haven’t you noticed? Have you ever tried talking to Christmas about it?”

“No…since that day we fought. It’s been almost a year since we’ve talked.” I sighed quietly, then clenched my lips to dispel the old memories that were flooding back.

“Oh, siblings not talking for almost a year?”

“Yes…”

“Why?”

“I thought…turning our backs on each other would be the best option for us, to prevent the wounds from getting any deeper.”

“It’s true that to move forward, one must let go of the past, but sometimes…it’s the past that blocks our way, especially if it’s a past that has hurt us. Some wounds, time can’t heal.”

“…”

“It’s a wound we have to heal ourselves.”

“I’m not saying anything against Nong Ter…but we can’t run away from problems forever.”

“…”

Phii Meili’s words left me speechless…because deep down, I knew I had been avoiding the problem, and I had never had the courage to face it head-on.

“Why don’t you try calling Christy…try talking, things might get better.” Phii Meili smiled at me gently, which made me feel comforted…Having someone you can trust is truly wonderful.

I took out my phone, searched for my sister’s number, remembering that I had blocked her in anger after our fight that day.

(Number blocked) – Christy

   I unblocked the number and dialed it. Today was a day off, hoping Christy would pick up.

Ring…

The sound of the phone ringing made me start to feel anxious.

She…she picked up.

“…”

“Hey…Chris, it’s your brother.” The other end didn’t say anything, so I had to speak first.

“Sniff…Sniff…Phii…”

“Chris…are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“Phii…I’m sorry…sniff…I’m sorry.”

And the trembling, tearful voice of my little sister made me want to cry along with her.

I could only stay silent, not daring to say anything while listening to her cry on the other end of the line. It was a familiar sound, but one I hadn’t heard in years. I missed her so much. I could picture her face, now stained with tears.    Chris can be bratty and stubborn, sometimes not very lovable,    but we always stick together.

“I’m…sorry too.” I managed to say in a shaky voice into the phone, my heart starting to feel tumultuous. Soon, the sobbing on the other end quieted down.

“Phii…are you not mad at me anymore?” Chris’s voice was as shaky as mine.

“No…wasn’t it you who was mad at me?”

“Yes. I was mad then…but I’m over it now.”

“Really? That’s good to hear. How are you doing?”

“I’m studying a lot, I’ve decided to study nursing.”

“That’s great, you finally made your choice.”

“Yeah, and how about you?”

“I’m waiting for the semester to start. Right now, there are lots of activities.” I found myself smiling slightly, unknowingly. We felt more like siblings who hadn’t seen each other in a long time rather than siblings who had been angry and not speaking.

“How is it there? Is it cold? Here it’s really hot, mom’s making watermelon juice every day, my face is almost turning into a watermelon.”

“Your face is already round like a watermelon.” I teased, just like we used to.

“Wait and see. I’ve lost weight now, my face isn’t chubby anymore.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes…and…I heard Phii Hill is studying medicine there…right?” Chris’s voice softened as if she was hesitant to bring up this topic.

“Oh…yes.”

“Have you…met him or not?”

“…I have.”

“He will become a doctor now…but Phii Hill has always been suited to be a doctor.”

“Yeah, he’s suited.”

“I checked his face on social media, Phii Hill is also the Moon of the Faculty, isn’t that amazing? He must be just as hot there as he was here, right?”

“I think…even hotter than before.”

Then silence began to replace our conversation. Christy didn’t say anything; it seemed that talking about Phii Hill was reopening old wounds for both of us.    “…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, it’s okay…I called to talk about this anyway.” I said truthfully. Even though time had dulled the anger, the traces of pain still lingered.

“Yes…that’s what I wanted to apologize for.” my sister’s voice started to tremble again, “Back then, it was my fault, I was selfish, I shouldn’t have done that…hiccup…at all.”

“Hey…don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have meddled in your affairs from the start. The reason you had to leave home was because of me, it’s my fault, hiccup…”

“No…it’s not your fault, not at all.” I started to feel anxious, as if Christy was crying harder and harder. What kind of brother am I to let my sister cry alone like this?

“I shouldn’t have interfered…with your business at all…sob.”

“Calm down, Christy, what business did you interfere with?”

“Well…the matter between you and Phii Hill…hiccup…”

“Between me and Phii Hill? …How?”

“Well, I…I was the one who got involved in what was happening between you two.”

“Wait a minute. Between us? Not between you and Phii Hill?”

“Huh? No.” Christy seemed surprised by what she heard, “Not me…you…Don’t tell me you didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“About who Phii Hill…likes.”

“Doesn’t he like you, Christy?” I asked in confusion, am I misunderstanding something here?

“…You’re really crazy! So dense, how can you not see it even after all that!?” Christy seemed to shift her mood from sad to irritated with me instead. Why would she call her brother dense? “Sigh…I thought you knew…you, my brother is blind, isn’t you?”

“Hold on…just tell me then. What’s the deal?”

“Sigh…you’ve made me stop crying.” Christy sighed deeply, “Don’t you really know who Phii Hill likes?”

“Well…honestly, no.”

“Oh, well, let’s say it’s not me then.”

“Then who is it?” The part where Phii Hill said he liked me for five years, I’ll keep that to myself for now, let’s get the story from Christy first.    “Oh. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Go ask Phii Hill yourself.”    “Hey, why are you suddenly angry?” I forgot to mention that Christy is quite moody. Just a moment ago she was sobbing, wasn’t she?

“Have you met Phii Hill?”    “Yes, I have.”

“Good. Have you talked?”

“What’s good about that…we’ve talked a bit.”

“Who initiated the conversation?”

“Phii Hill.”

“How did you meet?”

“I’m working at the club, Phii Hill is the president there.” Why ask?

“What did you talk about?”

“We talked about…general stuff, I guess.” We talked a lot, how should I answer that?

“Did he ask about me?”

“Uh…” I paused for a moment, thinking whether to tell her, “He did…I asked about you.” I decided to tell the truth.    “How did you ask?”

“I asked…what he thought…about it.” my voice softened inadvertently, and I was starting to not dare to say it out loud.

“And what did Phii Hill say?”

“…” I didn’t dare to tell her what I had asked. Phii Hill had said he only thought of her as a sister. Even though I could say that Phii Hill didn’t like Christy, Christy had liked Phii Hill before.

“He only thinks of me as a sister, right?”

“Yeah. That’s it, I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry.” I apologized to my sister, feeling guilty.

“It’s okay, I’ve known for a long time that Phii Hill didn’t feel that way about me.

He was pretty clear about it.” Christy’s voice didn’t sound sad, unlike what I had expected, “I did like Phii Hill, but I’ve come to terms with it now.”

“Because I also love you, and if the two people I love are happy, that makes me happy too.” Christy said cheerfully. If the people you love are happy, then you’re happy too, huh? Christy has really grown strong. I feel like I’ve been the weaker one here.

“Then there’s only you and Phii Hill left…I’ve moved on with Jo.”

“Why us?”

“Sigh…it’s nothing, really. I’m so glad we could finally talk. Are you coming back home?”

“I think I will…I miss home too, but I don’t know when.”

“Dad’s not angry anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but he’s still a bit stubborn, you know how old folks can be.”

“If he’s really not angry, that’s good then. I’ll try to visit home during the school break.”

“Yay, that’s great. I’ll tell Mom to plan a welcome party for you.”

“Wow, you are always over the top.”

“Just a little, I’ve got to go now, I have a tutorial class. Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Wait, what about Phii Hill? You haven’t told me.”

“Hmm…I do want to tell, but Phii Hill probably wants to say it himself. Have you had any special conversations up to this point? Like something Phii Hill has never said or done before, something that would surprise you?”

“I guess there were…” I tried to recall from when I first met him, “Like…asking to date, holding hands, acting a bit possessive, but still, he takes care of others the same way as always.”

“What do you mean by saying the same? Phii Hill is cold as ice to others, didn’t you notice? But he does what’s polite, sometimes anyway.”

“But he takes care of you too, doesn’t he? Like when you missed the bus, Phii

Hill went to pick her up and brought her home.”

“That’s because I’m your sister.”

“…?”

“I think I understand what Phii Hill is doing now.”

“Understand what? I still don’t get it.”

“People can’t wait forever, when the time comes, we need to act…on what we once let slip away. If it comes back into our hands, we must hold onto it tighter this time, like mom always said about ‘time and opportunity.’ For some people, this might be the opportunity they’ve been waiting for. You…try to observe what’s around you too, okay? I’ve got to go, we’ll talk later.”

And then Christy hung up, leaving her last words echoing in my mind.

Observe what’s around me…is that right?

“I’ve been trying to make everything clear from the start.”

   “But Ter…you’ve never really noticed it.”

   Suddenly, I remembered what Hill had said…

“How are you, Nong Ter…Nong Ter?” Phii Meili’s voice brought me back to reality, making me jump a little. Phii Meili was equally startled, “You scared me, I’ve been calling you for ages with no response, the call ended a long time ago, and you’re still spacing out.”

“Oh…really?” I lowered the phone from my ear and placed it on the table, “Phii

Meili, what did you say?”

“I asked how it went, did you talk it out with your sister?”

“It went well. We understand each other now…even if I’m still a bit confused, she’s not mad at me anymore.”

“That’s good, siblings should love each other. See? Just one call, and all the lingering issues are gone.”

“Yes…thank you, Phii Meili, for telling me. Christy also said that dad isn’t angry anymore either, so I should be able to go home this break.” I smiled broadly, feeling relieved, thinking of everyone at home.    “I’m happy for you. Did you ask about Doctor Hill?”

“I asked…Christy said she’s over Phii Hill. And she told me to try to notice things around me.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” I replied softly, uncertain. I wasn’t sure what the things around me that Christy was referring to might be, perhaps she meant Phii Hill. Is there something about him that I haven’t noticed?

“Okay, let’s talk about that later. They’re about to start the rehearsal. Let’s get ready to take pictures.”

“Uh…okay.”

 

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