NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 10 part 1
Chapter 10: Only Fools Do What I Do
Jaja: Hey
Jaja: Are you free?
Jaja: I’m stressed, you know
Jaja: Can we talk?
Jaja: Honestly, I’d rather meet you
Jaja: I really want to hug you
Jaja: Sorry, I’m typing without even thinking, haha
Jaja: If you’re free, please reply. I don’t have anyone else to talk to anymore
I furrowed my brows as I looked at the chat screen that had been sent to me about an hour ago, hesitating on how to reply. Why does it have to be now? Sending messages during class, who could concentrate on studying after this?
North♣: Sorry, I’m in class.
Jaja: Sorry, sorry, I thought class was over.
Jaja: What time do you finish?
North♣: At 4 PM.
Jaja: Okay, I’ll wait. Sorry for not informing you earlier.
Jaja: I’ll wait for you under your faculty building.
Jaja: Before I knew it, I was already here, haha.
Jaja: Are you studying at your own faculty? If not, I’ll be waiting here for nothing, haha.
“Shit.” I couldn’t help but exclaim when I read that she was waiting under the faculty building. Damn, she’s at another university, why is she here?
“What?” Duennao looked up to ask, irritated, as if I had disturbed his secret nap.
“Nothing. “
“Who are you chatting with now? Not paying attention in class. “
“Look at yourself first.” I said. Nao didn’t respond and just slumped back onto the desk to continue sleeping.
North♣: Still studying
North♣: Is it urgent?
Jaja: Not exactly, but I can’t take it anymore, haha.
North♣: That big of an issue?
Jaja: Big for me.
Jaja: Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.
Jaja: But I…
Jaja: I really can’t handle it. ;(
North♣: It’s okay, don’t worry, I’ll come down after class.
North♣: You can wait at the coffee shop under the faculty.
Jaja: Okay, see you there.
After class, I packed my bag with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to see her. I really wasn’t ready to see her, especially since I had told Ter the other day that sometimes I still think about her. To say I feel nothing at all would be a lie. I do feel something, but I didn’t want to go back, so I didn’t want to see her either.
But if she’s waiting under the faculty like this, I guess I can’t avoid it. It seems urgent. If I had to guess, it might be something about her new boyfriend.
“Idiot.”
“Me?” I turned around at the sound of the insult from Skater.
“Is Je waiting for you downstairs?” Skater asked with a serious tone, furrowing his brows. When I told them that Jaw was waiting for me under the faculty, the three friends all made sour faces.
“Damn idiot, meeting her after her new boyfriend just hit you.”
“Seriously, I hit him first.” I said honestly.
“That’s because he did something wrong.” Nao added with another serious face, sounding quite displeased, “Do you think we’d let you go?”
“I know, but what can I do? She’s been waiting for a while now.”
“Just ignore her, when she left you, she didn’t think about it.”
“Nao, you need to chill. “
“How am I supposed to chill, you know how it was when you; my friend got drunk like a dog.” Nao turned to argue, looking quite heated right now. I understand, because I was really hurt, and all my friends, including Ter, felt the same. That’s why no one likes her at all.
“I don’t want to meet her either, but what am I supposed to do?” I said. She attends a different university, far away, and has been waiting for me for so long. It’s not right to tell her to go back. Just meeting her for a brief moment shouldn’t be a big deal.” It’s fine, just for a moment. “
“Why are you so stubborn? “
“Get it, you need to chill. “
“I should ask how you’re not upset, you bastard. “
“Because I’m calmer than you guys. I know you’re worried, but let North decide for himself. Even if he gets hurt, he’ll come back to lick his wounds eventually. “
“In the end, he’ll come back to us.” Kyu said.
“Come back to what, no, it’s over, I’m fine now. “
“Big talk.” Nao said.
“I really won’t go back, no matter what.” I reiterated what I had told them before.” I’m just going to see her. “
“Your body might not go back, but your feelings have already left, North. “
“Should we come along? “
“She’d be uncomfortable to death.” I said.
“Are you going to go anyway? “
“Oh come on, why the drama? “
“Then remember this, this woman left you to find someone better. No matter what happens, remember that. Don’t be soft-hearted. She chose what’s best for her. She chose someone better, and she’s decided that person isn’t you. “
“Woah, damn.” I exclaimed at Kyu’s words. He’d said this before, but it hits hard every time.” One sentence from you and I’m speechless. “
“I just want to emphasize, if you’re thinking of going back, think hard about whether this is the person you want to give your heart to again. “
“You’re talking like she’s going to ask for forgiveness.” I raised an eyebrow, puzzled. “What could she possibly want? Coming here to find you, because in the end, she realized you’re the one she can depend on. When she thinks like that, she’ll also think she shouldn’t have left you, especially when you loved her so much.”
“And if she wants to get back together, what will you do?” Nao asked me.
“Reject her outright.” Skater quickly answered, “Just reject her, don’t be an idiot and think about it.”
“I know.” I said.
“Yeah, let’s go, we’ll watch over you.” Duennao said, “Keep an eye on you.”
“It’s not necessary.”
“We’ll sit at another table, just in case something happens.”
“What could possibly happen?”
“I don’t know, we’ll see.”
I sat down in the chair opposite Ja, who was in her university uniform, one I’d only seen in photos before. She was already waiting for me at the coffee shop under the faculty. Some people from my faculty turned to look, probably because they were surprised to see someone from another university here.
“I’ve never seen you in this uniform before, it’s quite different.” Ja started the conversation to break the awkwardness between us. Come to think of it, we hadn’t seen each other since we graduated.
“Same.” I said because I had only dated Ja, and meeting an ex like this felt a bit awkward for me too.
“Did you cut your hair?” I asked.
“Yeah, I got tired of long hair. Not sure if it suits me. What do you think? Does it look strange?”
“No. Just not used to it.”
“Right. I’ve had long hair since high school. At first, it was a bit strange, but it’s nice, it dries quickly after washing.” “So, what’s up?” I brought the conversation to the main reason she came to see me.
“Ah…” She looked down, her hands clasped tightly on the table, her lips pressed together as if she didn’t really want to talk about it, “I…just broke up with Temp.”
I wasn’t really surprised.
“Really? Who initiated the breakup?”
“Temp, I guess. I don’t know, we fought. We fought a lot while we were together. Me and you never fought this intensely.”
I nodded in understanding. When we were together, we hardly ever fought, mainly because of my laid-back nature.
“What’s going on? “
“Temp is dating someone else. I caught him, just like you said, that we fought because I was angry that Temp cheated on me, right?” Ja looked up, her voice trembling as tears started to fall, her nose and cheeks turning red.
“I…I prayed it wasn’t true. I tried to believe what Temp said, that you were the one causing trouble even though he hadn’t done anything, hik. “
“Hik, hik, but I found out he really does have someone else. “
“I…hik. “
“Calm down.” I said, seeing her in distress. I reached out to hand her a tissue, which she took and quickly wiped her tears. Damn…these feelings of not wanting to see her cry, wanting to comfort her, to pamper her, can they just go away?
“Thank you. “
“For what? “
“For going and confronting him…for me. Thank you for protecting me. “
“…” “Um.” “…” “Forget it, just stop crying first. “ “Now that it’s like this, I keep thinking about you all the time. You took such good care of me, but I couldn’t keep you. “
Disaster…
Just like what Kyu said.
“Forget it, don’t talk about it.” I cut her off before she could say more.
“If you hadn’t broken up with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have come looking for me, right? “
Ja looked stunned after hearing my words, then sobbed even harder. I sneakily glanced at my good friends who had secretly followed to watch.
Only Kyu didn’t seem too bothered. Meanwhile, Nao and Skater looked furious. If they could, they would probably have dragged me out by the collar.
“I’m sorry. “
“It’s nothing, forget about it.” I repeated, “So the big thing you mentioned is breaking up with him?”
“Uh…there’s more…I, I want to forgive Temp, but the real reason for the breakup is that Temp has to move somewhere else. So my options are to break up or forgive and wait. Just forgiving is hard enough, and now I have to wait for Temp for several more years, but I still don’t want to let Temp go. So I’m really confused.”
“Move somewhere else?”
“Yeah, abroad, not sure where yet. It seems his dad is being transferred.”
“Ah…so he has to move too?”
“Not exactly, Temp said he doesn’t want to stay here anymore. He can’t stay anymore. I’m not sure what he means by that. We barely talked.”
What does ‘can’t stay anymore’ mean…
And why do I have to listen to this Phii Temp s story?
“So I wanted to ask you.” “Ask what?” “I actually went and asked Tim…Tem’s friend, who was in a fight with your group that day. Tim said he’s also affected, has to move but doesn’t know where, just knows it’s a different place from Temp. I’m confused about what’s really happening. Tim told me to ask you. I asked other friends, but no one told me anything. What’s going on? Do you know anything?”
“Uh…No. I don’t know at all.” I said, with a head full of conflicting thoughts. What’s going on, and why send you to ask me?
“Really? Not the person who helped you that day?”
“Huh?” I was taken by surprise.
Ah…
It could be.
If it’s Phii Johan, it’s possible.
But…
“…”
“Hey.”
“What are you spacing out for? Was it the person who came to help you?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t know. “
“Uh, can you try asking him, Temp…I’m sorry, but Temp didn’t deserve to be transferred, isn’t that a bit too harsh? Especially since you started the trouble.”
“…”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. “
“It’s okay, it’s true. I started it. “
Didn’t you just thank me for protecting you?
“Well, I’d like to ask you to help me find out, can you? “ “No.” “Oh, why? “ “If you find out who did it, what will you do? “ “Me?…I probably can’t do anything. “
“That’s right. So don’t find out. I can’t do anything about it either.” Yes. If it turns out to be Phii Johan, even if he wanted to send Temp off the planet, I couldn’t do anything about it. And honestly, I don’t really want to help; I’m not that good of a person.
“But…Temp isn’t that bad.” She started repeating herself like she was being petulant, which she always does when she doesn’t get what she wants. “It’s too cruel. When he didn’t do anything that bad.”
“How can you know for sure? Temp might have done something else you don’t know about. “
“…”
“No, I know everything, hik.”
“There’s nothing more to say, right?” I said, getting ready to stand up.
“No…no, hik, there’s more…” Jee interjected before I could leave. I had to sit back down.” Tiger…”
“Huh? “
“Tiger. Do you know someone named Tiger? He seems to study engineering here too.”
“Ah, yes, I know him, he’s my friend, why?”
“I overheard Temp and Tim talking about Tiger too, it seems there might be another issue if it involves Tiger. Could you try to find out if you can?” The person opposite me spoke before reaching for a tissue to wipe her tears again.
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” I said, wondering how Tiger got involved in this.
Oh…
Now I get it.
Nao was also involved in the fight, so Tiger probably couldn’t stay out of it either.
Why didn’t I think of that before?
“Thanks.”
“Okay, is there anything else?”
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“No problem.” I said.
“When there’s no one left, I always have you.”
“…”
“I’m sorry for anything I did or said wrong. It was my fault. Would it be bad if I said I want to talk to you again, North? It might look bad, but I won’t have anyone else from now on. I’m sorry. Can we start anew? At least, let’s talk as friends.”
…
Leave a Reply