SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 11: Hello world! #2.
Jaeyoung sat there in a daze. Then he noticed various picture frames hanging on the wall. Jaeyoung stood up and examined the family photos and sibling pictures playing together in detail, in order.
‘Wow, you have a beautiful sister.’
He was meditating, looking at the phone screen. While a close zooming of the boy holding a toy. Sangwoo came down from the second floor.
“How can you leave me alone?”
Jaeyoung said without uttering a word, but Sangwoo sat on the sofa with an indifferent expression.
They sat silently for a moment. Sangwoo looked comfortable as if he was at his own home, while Jaeyoung fidgeted and finally, after some hesitation, went to offer help in preparing food. But then he was told by the father that it wasn’t the guest’s responsibility, accompanied by the gaze of the mother seemingly asking why he was interfering, and was chased out.
Dinner started at six o’clock sharp. Each person had a plastic coaster placed under their dish, topped with a soup bowl, a rice bowl, and a personal plate. A water glass was placed on a coaster, while a small spoon and fork were placed on a small coaster made of white glazed tiles. Everything was neatly arranged in its rightful place without anything out of order or inconsistent with usage.
“Come home often. Eat a lot..Sangwoo-ya.”
“Yes.”
“Jaeyoung too, although there isn’t much prepared, please eat a lot.”
“Yes. I will eat until I’m satisfied.”
Seaweed soup, sangseojeon [1], bulgogi [2], and two or three side dishes. Although not excessive to fill the table, it was evident that they put effort into it as their son came back. However, the atmosphere during dinner, with no conversation even for a single word, made it difficult for him to breathe. It seemed that this house had been like this from the beginning, as besides Jaeyoung, no one seemed bothered.
Jaeyoung ate without realizing whether he scooped it into his mouth or into his nose. While in the midst of eating, suddenly, Sangwoo’s father spoke up.
“Did you finish university? How was it?”
“Yes. If you’re wondering about my grades, last semester, I got A+ for every subject, even though I read fewer books because I had to prepare for finding a job, but I’m still doing fine.”
His father probably didn’t intend to ask about that matter, but Jaeyoung was determined to talk about his grades. Sangwoo was good at speaking when facing his parents. Although the important points may not match, sometimes if it were someone else asking, it might have ended with just a ‘yes.’
“So, is anything good happening? Except for the work stuff that I already know.”
“I can’t say.”
The other father chooses to change the question instead of pushing further.
“Do you have friends?”
“No.”
Sangwoo scooped up some seaweed soup and continued speaking.
“I’ve been saying it all along. I don’t need friends.”
“Quit talking about Black Mamba already.”
Jaeyoung barely managed to hold in his laughter, almost spitting out the rice, pretending that he had something stuck in his throat as he drank water.
At that moment, Sangwoo’s mother interjects.
“It’s your right to say whatever, but please respect the right to express opinions. Please, dear.”
“We didn’t give birth to a snake, but you keep talking about snakes. Not just once or twice.”
“The right words should be spoken not just once in a while, learning from nature is an attitude to be admired.”
Almost as if hearing a loud sound, ‘clang clang,’ Sangwoo’s deep-rooted confidence is nurtured by this method, yet his father is still unwilling to back down.
“Every person needs to be part of society, you’re not an exception. Look, even our son and the friend sitting next to you did well coming out, right?”
“Yes, and this person is my sunbae, not just a friend.”
“Even if there’s a difference in age, people can still be friends, age doesn’t matter for friendships.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, he’s not a friend, but he’s…”
Jaeyoung firmly holds onto Sangwoo’s knee under the table, silencing him before he says something pointless.
“I am his sunbae. We are colleagues who work together. He probably doesn’t like being called a friend.”
“Oh, really? Anyway, forget it. Sangwoo is weak with this word’s definition.”
‘Even though things may go differently from what was expected, it’s not too bad.’
Jaeyoung pondered, if his son brought the man he was living with home. He seemed suspicious, but the parents of the other party didn’t pay much attention, causing Jaeyoung to be startled. However, despite that, he couldn’t continue living like this as if he were a shadow. Jaeyoung observed the delicate atmosphere.
“Why did you bring him here?”
While chewing his food, Jaeyoung suddenly forgot how to move his mouth. Sangwoo’s mother, who had been sitting quietly as if nothing had happened, suddenly intervened with a blink of an eye. “He…” Jaeyoung clenched his knees tighter.
“He’s my close sunbae. I wanted to introduce him to you Mom.”
Sangwoo didn’t forget Jaeyoung’s explanation. Although he thought he had handled it well, the mother of the other party didn’t seem pleased.
“A sunbae? Don’t you have seniors who are women?”
The tone was soft, but there was an unbearable pressure. Jaeyoung unintentionally held his breath without realizing it, but Sangwoo replied calmly.
“In Korean society, there is a tradition of addressing older people as ‘sunbae’ even if they don’t have a blood relationship. Although they might not have a blood relationship, they still feel close.”
“I know, but we have to accept the possibility of confusion with the term.”
“When closeness is more important than discomfort, we have to address each other in that way.”
“I understand.”
Jaeyoung quickly exhaled the breath he had held. Even though he felt relieved, the crisis happened and ended abruptly, so he couldn’t comprehend the direction of the conversation. Internally, he felt suffocated and seemed to have indigestion.
After finishing their meal, Sangwoo’s father took the peeler that Jaeyoung had bought and peeled two fruits. The quick and smooth peeling technique was not something that could be achieved in just two attempts. Sangwoo’s mother ate a couple of pieces of fruit and quietly went into her room.
Jaeyoung helped move the empty plates to the kitchen and offered to help wash them, but he was ushered out. Once the kitchen door closed, he had the chance to have a one-on-one conversation with Sangwoo.
“Why do you make that face?”
“Why, what’s wrong with my face?”
“It looks like you’ve had botox.”
Jaeyoung burst out laughing and sat down on the sofa, keeping a safe distance from Sangwoo, afraid that the other party’s parents might notice. But after a while, he slowly moved closer and rested his head on Sangwoo’s shoulder. As he buried his nose in Sangwoo’s neck and took a deep breath, he heard a louder mocking laughter.
“You’re a brave one, huh? Always observing every detail when we eat.”
“….”
“Who said anything about hitting you? Why are you so scared?”
“Those are your parents, you know. It must be difficult.”
Jaeyoung closed his eyes and leaned fully on Sangwoo. Then Sangwoo embraced him.
“If I ever meet your grandfather, should I bow to him?”
“Don’t even think about meeting him.”
“Why?”
“You’ll get hurt.”
“He’s over seventy. I don’t think I’ll get pushed around just because of someone’s age.”
Jaeyoung laughed at Sangwoo’s playful words, but deep down he knew it wasn’t a joke and a sense of unease crept up. He had never heard before that Sangwoo respected and revered the elderly. Jaeyoung made up his mind that the two should never meet under any circumstances.
“I feel touché when I hear what you say.”
Jaeyoung looked away again after inspecting the surroundings and finding no one who would smell Sangwoo’s cheeks before sitting back away from the other party.
“Let’s strategize.”
“What strategy?”
“I am not confident to talk to your mother, so I will leave her to you. As for me, I will talk to your father.”
“Is this a game?”
“Well, the goal is to talk about our relationship without getting caught or cut off. Do you think we can do it?”
“Not right now.”
Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo, who was about to get up, and pulled him back down to sit again.
“You are a son that your parents can be proud of, raised well for sixteen years. You bringing a boyfriend home instead of a girlfriend means something, don’t you know? They will be shocked for sure. They might even tell you to break up with me or, worst case scenario, they might cut off your relationship with the family. Are you prepared for that?”
“No.”
Sangwoo’s face became confused and silent for a moment.
“I don’t quite understand. It’s my choice who I date.”
“In principle, that’s true, but…”
“My parents taught me that choices come with responsibilities. They said that when I became an adult. I have to take responsibility for my own choices, and even if something goes wrong, no one can solve the problem for me.” The other party’s eyes suddenly sparkled with confidence.
“In the sixteen years that I have known my parents, they have never done anything that contradicts their words. If they go against what you said about my relationship, it wouldn’t make sense.”
The keyboard that types correct words, a general who tries to solve all the problems with a sword called logic, Sangwoo’s posture is no different from what he has seen before, but in those words. Jaeyoung realized the trust that the other party has for his parents, even if the person himself says that he is a black mamba snake like this, but he also knows that the family is one of the strong pillars that support Sangwoo’s world. Jaeyoung felt love and guilt that he had for the other party.
‘I hope you are right.’
If it has to become an enemy with parents because of this matter. How much will Sangwoo be shocked, how much pain will he have, and how much will he suffer from the wrong feelings? Jaeyoung’s eyes met with a sincere gaze looking at himself with complex emotions. At that time, the kitchen door opened.
“Chu Sangwoo.”
“Yes.”
“It’s been a while since we’ve had a good conversation.”
“Okay.”
Sangwoo’s father put on a jacket from a hanger and walked to the front door. With a cigarette in his hand and a clear bottle out. Sangwoo looked at the ground before walking into the kitchen. Then he came out with a small glass.
Jaeyoung stood up, grabbed what was in the other person’s hand.
“I’ll go instead.”
Sangwoo looked at the floor, contemplating before raising his head and locking eyes with Jaeyoung.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I’ll handle your father myself.”
Sangwoo, who spoke like that, looked strangely radiant, so Jaeyoung realized for the first time that he had fallen deeply in love with the other party.
As he spread his arms. Sangwoo came in and hugged him as if it were certain. Jaeyoung forgot even the slightest fear and hugged the other party tightly, and that hug gave him great courage. Jaeyoung lightly kissed Sangwoo’s forehead before heading to the door.
“Wait.”
While putting on his shoes, Sangwoo called him. When he turned back to look at his neck, there was something wrapped around it, it was Sangwoo’s scarf.
“It’s cold outside.”
Sangwoo wrapped his scarf tightly and smiled a little, he had no other choice but to smile and accept. “I’ll be right back.” Jaeyoung clapped his hands and walked outside.
Sangwoo’s father was smoking in the backyard, the view of the small mountains was peaceful, the neglected yard was filled with overgrown weeds. Only the fruit trees towering towards the sky seemed formidable. Jaeyoung thought this disorder suited the wandering poet and walked towards the round wooden table. As he sat on the chair shaped like a barrel, the middleaged man let out a surprised breath of smoke.
“Why is it you? Where about Sangwoo?”
“I wanted to talk to you sir, so I came instead of Sangwoo.”
As soon as he replied, an uneasiness filled the room, but Jaeyoung pretended not to notice anything and placed two glasses of liquor on the table. When he reached for the Soju bottle and opened it, the poet held up the glass reluctantly. After pouring the glass full, Jaeyoung’s turn came. He received the liquor gracefully and placed it in front of himself.
“It’s someone I know who sent it, I hope you’ll enjoy it.”
The other side smiled and turned to smoke the remaining cigarette, a nonchalant expression on his side face.
“I’m sorry.”
“Of course.”
He did not refuse and quickly drank the liquor. Jaeyoung turned to his side and drank along with the other, the strong liquor felt like it was burning his throat but he did not show any signs.
“I am worried and sad because he will cross the water and the sea far away, but I can’t help him. He managed to work at the company he always wanted to work at since he was a child. I am proud of my son. Not just talking, but if he wants to do something, he will do everything. I heard that company is a big gaming company, right? They must have around 200 employees, right.”
It seemed that Sangwoo would not properly explain the company to his father. As far as Jaeyoung knew, there were fewer than ten times the number of employees there.
“Not just Sangwoo, but it’s something that many people dream of working on. Sir, you should be proud.”
“That’s right. And he even brought his friend to the house… I was really surprised when I heard for the first time that he would be living with someone else. I thought he was doing it to save on food expenses because those kids were already disciples. So I sent him money, but he returned it and said he had enough. So I thought he finally had friends he could get along with.”
“Yes.”
“For me, I thought you were the same kind of person as Sangwoo, like math, science, friends who would split the groceries even if it was just ten won. But I didn’t think you were a normal person like this… Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to judge you, but I know that Sangwoo doesn’t maintain normal human relationships.”
“I understand.”
The second glass of liquor was refilled and emptied instantly.
“How did you become close with Sangwoo? Because as far as I know, that kid only has three friends, and they only meet when they want to play games. I don’t think they’re really close.”
Im Se-won, Kim Chung-ho, Kim Won-jong, one is an office worker. The other two are students, and they only contact each other about two to three times a year. They seem like normal good kids.
“We first met because of a group project for a class…” Many details were skipped, but it wasn’t a lie.
________________________________________.
[1] Saengseonjeon. A Korean dish made by dipping fish meat in a mixture of flour and egg and then frying it. It looks similar to pancakes.
[2] Bulgogi. A Korean dish made by stir-frying marinated beef.
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