MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 0: Going Back Home
A shake on my shoulder woke me up. “We’re almost there.”
I looked out to see houses lined up on both sides of the road, whereas before I fell asleep, there were fields of grass on either side of the way.
“Are we there already…?”
I had fallen asleep without realizing it. I intended to keep Phii Godt company while he drove, so we went to buy coffee, but after drinking it, I fell asleep with my head down, and when I woke up, we were already in the village.
The black sedan stopped in front of a two-story modern-style house, and I quickly opened the car door and pushed through the gate. The first thing I saw was the back of an elderly man standing by the fish pond in the garden, humming his favorite song happily. Seeing that, I rushed over and hugged him out of longing.
“Grandpa~”
“Well, why are you so early, you little rascal? I thought you’d arrive around ten or eleven at night.” Grandpa laughed before turning to face me. Before he could say anything else, he froze, his eyes under his square glasses focusing on the person behind me who was walking in.
“Hello, Grandpa.”
“Oh, good, good.” Grandpa looked at my face and whispered softly, “A friend?”
“No.”
“Oh. Who is he then?”
“My boyfriend.”
The atmosphere at the dinner table was dead silent, with only the sound of utensils clinking. Tonight’s dinner was simple home-cooked dishes like omelet, stir-fried water spinach, and fried pork ribs, all made by Mom. The fried pork ribs were Grandpa’s favorite, and he would always compliment how tasty they were, but since we revealed that Phii Godt was my boyfriend, no one said anything. Both Mom and Grandpa kept their eyes on their rice bowls as if expecting something to sprout from them.
As for Phii Godt, although he’s usually very talkative, never stopping, and good at being mischievous, he was quiet and reserved in front of elders, sitting still, almost blending into the chair from his awkwardness, even hesitant to eat.
Though the atmosphere felt tense, it was a good sign that Mom didn’t start yelling. She’s the type to speak her mind if she doesn’t like something, not one to keep things bottled up. Grandpa, on the other hand, didn’t look stern or displeased; instead, he pushed the omelet dish towards Phii Godt, seemingly concerned that he might not reach it.
“You act like you’re close.” Mom teased Grandpa for passing the omelet to Phii Godt, and the big guy quickly put his spoon down.
If you wanted to see Phii Godt out of his element, today provided plenty of opportunities.
“Well, he’s my grandson’s boyfriend. How can I treat him like a stranger?”
“Be careful, you might spoil my grandson rotten.”
“With just one grandchild, who are am I going to please? Are you crazy?”
“That’s the crazy one, Dad.”
“No, you’re the crazy one. It’s good that the grandchild has such a big boyfriend. If anyone teases him, he can protect him.”
“Who would tease him? Don’t you think this big guy might tease
Nong Diew?”
“You’re delusional. If he teased him, how could the grandchild like him?”
Exactly, haven’t you heard of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’, Dad? Who knows if he was forced to be his boyfriend or not?”
Phii Godt actually broke out in a sweat and smiled dryily to the grandmother.
“And you, do you like him?” Mom turned to ask me. I nodded slightly in response. “Now tell me why you like him.”
“Do people need a reason to like each other?”
“Dad, can you stop for a moment? I want to talk to my son.”
“I like him because he’s patient and tries hard. He’s my hero.”
My answer made both my mom and grandpa, who were arguing, fall silent for a moment. I turned to look at Phii Godt, who looked back at me with a surprised expression. He probably didn’t expect me to speak so directly because I’m usually shy and stammering around him, taking a lot of time to think before speaking.
We had discussed introducing ourselves to the family many times. The topic of boyfriends is quite delicate, especially since we’re both guys. But since Phii Godt said not to worry about his parents hating me, I didn’t want him to worry that my grandparents would hate him either. My grandparents have enough reason not to chase him out of the house, and they use a rational approach to discuss matters.
I dared to talk about this with my family because mom and grandpa aren’t strangers, and it’s better than keeping it a secret and them finding out later. Grandpa has always taught me to tell him everything, and from childhood to adulthood, I’ve never lied to them. “So if you don’t like him, it’s okay… but I like him.”
Mom let out a high-pitched screech.
“Look. Look at him, teaching the grandchild to be selfish. Look at what he’s saying, isn’t this forcing me to like him?”
“But grandpa told me to speak directly.”
“It’s true what the grandchild says. If you don’t like him, what can you do? In the end, you’ll give in to your child anyway.”
“Dad! Here you are, siding with the grandchild, that’s why he’s like this.”
“And what if I do? Is there a problem?”
“Dad! Look at Diew, he’s teasing me!”
“Stop arguing, please, it’s embarrassing.” I interjected before the two could escalate further. Even though I knew Grandpa and Mom never really fought, they just teased each other, and in five minutes, they’d forget about it!!
“And you, how old are you? Have you graduated yet?”
With no one siding with her, Mom turned to question Phii Godt instead.
Last semester, I came back to Phuket alone because Phii Godt had to deal with internship paperwork. This semester, coinciding with his graduation and the completion of his internship… I decided to bring Phii Godt to meet Grandpa and Mom. Phii Godt didn’t object to the idea.
I was a bit worried that Mom and Phii Godt might not get along, but after dinner, after we cleared and washed the dishes, and after spending nearly half an hour setting up the guest room, when I came out to the living room, I saw Phii Godt and Mom laughing, having moved on to another topic. Plus, there was a plate of snacks; if Mom didn’t like him, there wouldn’t even be any snacks.
“They’ve gotten close so quickly.”
I whispered to Grandpa, who had just come out of the bathroom.
Grandpa peeked at his daughter, making a tired face.
“Well, she’s just like her mother.”
“Was Grandma like this?”
“She complained a lot, but she always indulged her children. Whatever makes them happy is her happiness too. And you, how did you two end up together? Tell me all about it.”
“He’s my next-door neighbor, Grandpa.”
“And what’s his personality like?”
“At first, I thought he was talkative and annoying.” Grandpa furrowed his brows. “But he’s a good person. He tried to be patient to talk to me from the balcony without seeing my face, trying to be a part of my world. Grandpa knows how hard that is.”
Grandpa nodded in agreement. Since he raised me, I’ve never had a single friend.
“When I asked you before if I had to step out of my comfort zone to talk to someone, it was about him.”
“Oh, this guy?”
“Yeah, but people in relationships need to watch each other over the long term, Grandpa. It’s not like he’ll always be like this.” In the future, Phii Godt might change, who knows? These things depend on time and care.
“It’s good that you think like this; grandpa won’t have to worry.”
Grandpa squeezed my shoulder lightly, taking my hand in his with concern, “I’ve talked with your mom about having a boyfriend. I couldn’t imagine whether you’d have one or stay single. If you stay single, that’s fine, you can be a friend to me and your mom. But if you have a boyfriend, like I said, I want someone who can protect you.
Grandpa has taken good care of you.”
“I didn’t think I’d have a boyfriend either.” I mostly stay in my room, and life is already fulfilling. Even now, I’m puzzled about how I ended up with Phii Godt, and he’s such a handsome guy too.
“By the way, does your boyfriend like turtles?”
Grandpa asked with a serious look, and for turtle conservationists, turtles come first.
“He likes them. He enjoys playing with young-master.”
“Good, I won’t accept anyone who doesn’t like turtles.”
After saying that, he walked into the study room, leaving me to look at the two people laughing at each other at the dining table. Seeing Phii Godt smile after sitting quietly for so long made me feel a bit relieved.
Both mom and Phii Godt are the same type of people who love to talk, enjoy socializing. Having them sit and stare at each other for a long time in a battle of nerves wouldn’t be their style; they need to open up and talk to see if they click, if there’s anything they need to adjust to each other.
I was happy to see that mom and Phii Godt gelled quickly, pleased that mom seemed happy talking with Phii Godt because I don’t talk much with her. Mom has lots of friends and gets lonely easily, while I have few friends and talk so little you could count my words.
Seeing this, it was heartwarming to see both of them happy, chatting about various topics.
“I’m glad that your mom is okay with me dating him,” Phii Godt said, playing with his hands, showing his nervousness.
“Overthinking. If I wasn’t okay, it might be about your personality, which you’d have to observe over time. But if it’s about two guys, I don’t care about that. It’s even better that someone can take care of him. Nong Diew has been raised without much pressure from us since he was little; he can do what he wants, what makes him happy. I don’t like to control my child. I just want him to have some friends because I’m afraid he’ll be lonely.”
“Yes.”
“He might be a bit selfish, but he’s actually a good kid. But how about your parents? Are they okay with Nong Diew?”
My parents are quite open-minded, they raised me with freedom. They don’t care who I date as long as I can take care of myself, which is enough for them.”
“That’s good. Mom doesn’t want Nong Diew to worry about these things. My son has always been a deep thinker since he was little.”
As they talked, it turned into mom telling Phii Godt stories from my childhood, like how I was indifferent to my kindergarten teacher to the point where the teacher complained about my silence, or how I was teased by friends until grandpa had to go to school about it, and various mischievous deeds that gave mom and grandpa headaches.
Nothing compares to the time right after Dad passed away when I was still expecting every evening that Dad would drive back home. I would often hear him, telling Grandpa and Mom that he had come back. But they thought because I was a child, I could see ghosts. A few days later, Mom brought monks to chant, put a protective talisman on the front door, as if they were afraid Dad would come to take me away.
In reality, I had just heard things, and Mom only found out a few years ago when we talked about childhood antics. She was so mad she didn’t talk to me for a week. Well, I was only five then. I had even forgotten about it if Mom hadn’t dug it up.
I stood listening to their laughter until Phii Godt turned to meet my gaze. Seeing his smile made me feel embarrassed that he had to learn about my mischievous childhood deeds, so I quickly spun around and went back to my room.
He must like it, huh? I’ve never told Phii Godt about my childhood.
My life is so mundane; apart from family matters, I don’t know what else there is to tell.
I turned on the light for young-master’s fish tank and sat down on the bed, picking up a novel to read while playing soft music in the background. Even at home, I like to stay in my room, reading, watching movies, listening to music, just like at the dorm. Occasionally, I’d go play with the turtles at Grandpa’s workplace or rarely go to the beach.
But rarely, because I don’t like the heat.
Not long after, the door opened, and Phii Godt came in, closing the door with a loud sigh.
“I thought your mom wouldn’t like me for sure.”
“Why would you think that?” I looked up from my book at him unpacking his clothes. Phii Godt draped a towel over his shoulder and walked to turn on the bathroom light.
“I don’t know, I just thought she must be very protective of you.”
By the time I was fifteen, Mom let me come home by myself.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Then you mean…”
“With a son as cute as you, anyone would be protective.”
After he said that, he disappeared into the bathroom, and not long after, I heard the shower running, leaving me sitting there with my face flushed from his words. The one who’s protective because of my cuteness isn’t Mom… it’s you. Mom worries because I’m slow at doing things, more afraid that I’ll fall behind others.
Phii Godt didn’t take long in the shower and came to sit beside me on the bed. Not knowing what to do, he leaned over to see what I was reading. I looked up at him; his beautiful eyes played with the light from the fish tank, reflecting a shiny gleam that I couldn’t help but stare at.
“Go to sleep. Aren’t you tired?”
After driving for so long, I felt tired just sitting still, and the driver barely got any rest.
“I’ve always wondered how you were raised, why you turned out to be such a sweet, well-mannered kid. After meeting your mom and grandpa, I understand why you’re so good.”
“I’m not that good. I was quite mischievous when I was younger.”
Phii Godt laughed. From what mom told him, he must now understand how much of a troublemaker I was.
“And whose personality did you inherit?”
“From my dad and grandpa.”
“But I think you got a bit from your mom too.”
“Where exactly?” I put the book down beside me and turned to talk seriously with Phii Godt instead. The big guy rested his head on my lap, looking up at me with a thoughtful expression.
“The part where you’re decisive.”
“Huh?”
“Do you remember when we set the rule of talking before sleeping?”
“I remember.”
“I thought, wow, this kid is so decisive. No stranger would set such a rule and expect it to be followed.”
“I think at that time, I was more selfish.” I muttered while lightly rubbing my nose, “Back then, I thought if we didn’t meet face-to-face, I’d feel better, and I didn’t care if you followed the rule because if you didn’t, I would just stop talking.”
See, I just said you’re decisive, very determined.”
“You have to thank yourself for agreeing to follow that rule.”
“I don’t know, for me, setting that rule wasn’t selfish at all.” Phii Godt’s hand moved to gently touch my cheek. He caressed my face tenderly, just like the first time we touched.
“I thought, if I could do it, what would happen?”
“You’ve always been optimistic.”
Phii Godt’s thumb touched my lips, stroking them in a way he liked. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but when he gave me a slight smile, all the heat in the world seemed to gather on my face.
“It’s good. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gotten to be the boyfriend of someone as cute as you.”
I pretended to look away; the more we made eye contact, the deeper I fell.
“Always saying I’m cute.”
I caught his mischievous thumb, then lightly kissed the tip of it.
“It’s you who’s cute.”
Phii Godt froze and widened his eyes, his ears turning red, indicating his embarrassment. His hand then held mine, and he kissed it affectionately.
“Look at you, grown up and good at flirting.”
“I’m not.”
“Here’s the evidence.” He showed the thumb I had kissed, but before we could say anything more, there was a knock at the door. In just a fraction of a second, the door was opened by Grandpa, and Phii Godt jumped up so quickly that his head hit my chin hard.
“Ouch!”
It hurt!!!
I lay back, holding my chin silently, with tears welling up from the sharp pain. The one at fault let out a dry laugh towards Grandpa, probably scared that he would get caught for lying on my lap moments ago.
“Oh, what’s wrong with you, Diew?”
Grandpa had come at the perfect moment, and Phii Godt had forgotten to lock the door; my chin was all sore now.
“Oh, he just has a stomachache, Grandpa. Maybe he ate too fast.”
Stomachache, huh…
“Are you okay, Diew? Should I get some medicine?”
I shook my head at Grandpa, unable to speak due to the pain in my chin. When Phii Godt’s head hit my chin, my teeth clashed with a loud clack in my head, leaving me dizzy.
“Okay, okay, I came to ask if you want to go to the center with me tomorrow.”
“The center?” Phii Godt asked with a confused tone, but soon he remembered, “The turtle conservation center?”
“Yes, let’s go together.”
“Sure.”
“But if you’re not better from the stomachache by ten tomorrow, let me know, okay?”
“Okay, good night, Grandpa.”
“Oh oh, sweet dreams Nong Diew, if you can’t sleep, you can knock on my door, I’ll give you some medicine.”
“Uh.”
The door closed, Phii Godt quickly got up from the bed to lock the door, then he rushed back to me and gently stroked my chin while blowing softly.
“Oh oh, I’m sorry. It doesn’t hurt, right?”
Doesn’t hurt, my ass. After that slap.
I glared at him.
“Why don’t you try getting hit once, then you’ll know if it hurts or not.”
“Mean, where does it hurt? Does it hurt a lot?”
“Here, it hurts a lot.”
Phii Godt moved closer, slightly lifted my chin, and kissed the tip of my chin, making me flinch.
“Phii Godt…”
Why kiss my chin like this?
Even though I called out his name in protest, Phii Godt didn’t listen. This time, he moved his lips up to press a kiss on my lips, lingering there, before pushing me down to lie on the bed and pinning both my wrists to the bed.
The heavy breathing from the person above made me lose myself in the kiss that was more than just a touch of lips. Now, it was filled with desire. All I could do was moan softly, my breath ragged as it followed the rhythm set by the person above. The gentler Phii Godt was, the more my arousal heightened.
“Phii Godt… uh.”
In the brief moment my lips were free, I quickly protested, but instead of stopping, Phii Godt kissed me even more passionately. This time, I could barely find my senses; I only knew that if Phii Godt didn’t stop now, the emotions rising wouldn’t calm down easily.
“Phii Godt.”
Finally, he released my lips, his warm breath lingering beside my cheek. The big guy laughed, seeming to enjoy teasing me.
“I’m telling you, if this wasn’t at your home but at the condo, or if it was at the dorm, you wouldn’t get away.”
Instead of letting me go free, Khun Godzilla hugged me and lay down on the narrow bed together, even though I had already made the bed for him. He refused to go down to sleep, instead, he lay on top of me like this. How could I dare to make him go down to sleep?
I nestled my face against the broad chest of the person beside me, exhaling gently, the heat still lingering on my face, my heart still pounding loudly like a drum in my chest. But I didn’t want to move away.
Because lying next to this man was so warm, warm enough that we hardly needed a blanket.
The morning birdsong indicated a clear day with a bright sky and gentle sunlight. I walked over to the turtle nursery, where the small turtles were swimming around in the water. I looked over at Phii Godt, who was chatting with my grandfather.
Because Phii Godt is kind, cheerful, and good at talking, he managed to become friendly with my family in less than twenty-four hours. Before we left the house this morning, my mother even packed some snacks for him.
Maybe he’s loved more than me now.
I stood there, chin on my hands, watching the turtles for a long while, thinking this and that. Not long after, Phii Godt came to stand beside me.
“Wow, this is the young-master gang, isn’t it?”
“Do you like turtles?”
I asked him softly. Since we’ve been together, I’ve never asked if Phii Godt liked turtles. He never showed any signs of dislike towards the young-master; in fact, he often sat and chatted with him, so I assumed he didn’t hate them.
“I like them, they’re quite cute.”
“In the past, my father really loved turtles.”
When I mentioned my father, Phii Godt’s smile faded. We stood there watching the small turtles swimming in the clear pond. We weren’t allowed to touch the turtles in the nursery because our hands might be dirty and affect their health.
“I’ve never told you about my father, until Wan asked who I got my personality from. I answered, my father and grandfather.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay.”
“I want to.”
Thinking back to the past, the reason my father got along well with my grandfather was because they shared similar interests, unlike my mother who didn’t like turtles at all. As a child, she was bitten by a turtle, which left a lasting impression. Even now, she never goes near the turtles in our home pond.
“My dad once said that turtles are creatures that live long, for hundreds of years, because I wanted my dad to live for a hundred years. So I bought a turtle from a temple fair for my dad, but I didn’t know that turtle was sick.”
Phii Godt moved closer until our arms were touching. I knew he was worried because I had to talk about the past.
But I wasn’t sad anymore.
“Mom said that on the day that turtle died, my dad had an accident. Dad didn’t die then, but he died in the hospital because they couldn’t save him in time, even though he had always been the one saving lives. But on that day, no one could save him.”
I didn’t know why mom still hates turtles to this day, whether it’s because of childhood memories or because of that turtle.
“After that, I never thought of buying another turtle from the market, until recently when grandpa was the one who gave me ‘young-master’ to take care of. Grandpa didn’t say where he got young-master from, just told me to take good care of him. So I cherished and loved young-master a lot.”
Phii Godt’s warm hand rested on my head, gently rubbing to comfort me.
“Do you remember when young-master was sick, and I felt bad… it made me think of dad.”
“It’s not wrong to think of him, but if dad is watching, he would want you to smile more, Wan.”
I smiled at the person next to me while holding his hand.
“Do you know, you remind me a lot of my dad?”
“Hmm?”
“My dad was the one who brought laughter to our family all the time. After he passed away, I didn’t smile for anyone anymore. You were the first person in years that I smiled for because you told me my smile was beautiful.”
Yes, because of those words from him, I felt like I wanted to smile more, to smile every day. Even if smiling all the time might seem crazy, whenever I’m with Phii Godt, I want to smile for him.
“And when you make mom and grandpa smile, I feel even more that you’re just like dad.”
“Then, I’ll stay by your side, make you smile, make your mom and grandpa smile often.”
His big hand held mine, not too loose, not too tight, but with the certainty that he would never let go. I held Phii Godt’s hand in return, the warmth from his hand undeniably enveloping my heart with warmth.
I know in the future we might have disagreements, some things might not go as planned, or some things might not work out, but I don’t want to let go of his hand, because Phii Godt is both my smile and my happiness from the first day, today, and into the future.
“Does that one has color on it too?”
Phii Godt pointed to a small turtle with green spots on it.
“Do you want to name it?”
“Is that allowed? Won’t it lose its color as it grows?”
“I don’t know either, but if we come back next time, it should be grown.”
“Do you have any name in mind? We’ve got Young-Master, Smile, what should this one be?”
Hmm. I stood there thinking for a long time.
“Godzilla,” I mumbled the specific name.
“Why use my name for a turtle?”
“It’s cute, and when we come back, we’ll see how big your Godzilla has gotten.”
“You want to see, but you didn’t say so. My Godzilla is going to be huge.”
“I am talking about turtles!” I turned to tease him, getting a playful smile in return. I looked at the turtle with small green spots on its back, swimming among its friends. Even though it was just tiny spots, they stood out from all the others in the pond.
It’s true that I’ve always been afraid that if I give someone a turtle as a gift, my father’s nightmare would come back to haunt me. But now, I’m not afraid at all. If this little Godzilla is a gift for Phii Godt,
I hope that every year when we come back here, Phii Godt will be standing next to me, holding my hand like this.
For a long time, long enough to see this little turtle grow big.
“If it grows up, I’ll bring young-master to live with Godzilla.”
“And who’s the male, who’s the female then?”
I nudged the person beside me.
“My young-master is fierce, you know.”
“Oh really, can it be as fierce as mine, huh?”
“Crazy.”
I pulled away from the playful person and walked off before hearing the laughter chasing after me. I looked up at the bright sky of today, clouds drifting by casting shadows over our bodies, a cool breeze brushing against my face, making the mobiles hanging on the poles chime.
Instead of walking on, I stopped and waited until Phii Godt caught up to walk beside me.
And then we both walked on together.
We just kept walking together.
“But, will your family really be okay with me?” Hearing Phii Godt talk to his mom about Wan brought this concern back to my mind. No matter how many times I asked, Phii Godt always gave the same answer, ‘They’re totally okay with it,’ but I’ve never actually met his parents face to face.
“Oh, wait, I’ll video call my mom.”
After saying that, he immediately started a video call with his mom. I was at a loss, wait… you just decide to call like that?!
It didn’t take long for Phii Godt’s mom to answer, and his dad was sitting beside her. It looked like they were both interested in something.
I had just seen Phii Godt’s mom for the first time, and I could immediately tell that Phii Godt had inherited his eyes from her. “Mom.”
(“What, why call?”), Phii Godt’s mom spoke curtly to her son.
“This is my boyfriend.” He adjusted his arm so that the phone could capture both of us in the frame. I quickly raised my hands to pay respects to Phii Godt’s mom. She leaned closer to the screen, scrutinizing me for a moment, making me swallow audibly.
(“Oh. He’s cute, is this the one you mentioned?”)
“This is him, you act like there are many.”
(“Bring him over, take good care of him, don’t embarrass us, understand?”)
“Yes, ma’am.”
(“When you have time, bring him to meet me.”)
“Yes, ma’am.”
(“If that’s all, I want to watch TV.”)
She ended the call. As for me, I stood there with my eyebrows furrowed. Could it really be this easy? When I turned to look at Phii Godt, who was humming a tune and smiling happily, my doubts only grew.
“Is it really this easy?”
“It’s easy. I chat with mom every day, I know exactly what you’re like, my parents aren’t old-fashioned. As long as you’re a good partner, supportive, and take care of each other, that’s all they need.”
“Chat… what did you tell your mom about me?”
“Well… I sent her your picture, told her I like this one, isn’t he cute?
Mom said you’re cute, with a nice nose and mouth, good facial features. You don’t look like my son at all, he’s so big.”
Gasping for air like a fish out of water,
“I said you likes to read books. You don’t like going out, you like taking care of turtles, watching series, doing quiet things in your room. You don’t drink alcohol, doesn’t go out causing trouble, studies hard, and is very good at it too. Your studies internationally, chemistry as well, um, what else…”
Is there anything more? It seems like you’ve covered almost everything.
“Good attitude, speaks well, has manners, and…”
I listened intently to what Phii Godt was going to say next.
“I want to protect you.”
“…”
“Want to make you happy.”
“…”
“Want to tell you I love you every day.”
“Is that what you told mom?” I looked away, Phii Godt placed his hand on my head, just like the first day we met.
“I told her once.”
“…”
“I love you.”
“…”
“Muah muah.”
“Yuck.”
I hate his “muah muah” the most, it gives me goosebumps, seriously.
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