WESTTHESUNFROMANOTHERSTAR, Chapter 21: Let Me
Daotok
The temperature of the warm water was just right for my skin, with music playing softly alongside a scent that tickled my nose. I leaned back against the edge of the tub, allowing myself to relax after just half a day outside, yet feeling inexplicably exhausted.
At first, being with North was quite comforting until we went out for dinner with the guy from the next room and North. What started as just a strange feeling turned into something that left me mentally drained as it is now.
I couldn’t overlook the incident on his motorcycle where he made me hug him if I wanted him to slow down. In that situation, I had no other choice but to really hug him, and certainly not willingly.
It would be hard to consider it normal; he might have just wanted to tease me, but I couldn’t see how teasing me would be fun. Or if he actually wanted me to hug him, why would he want me to do that? Because it felt good for him or what? Maybe because Ter and Cat often hug or hold hands, I’ve become somewhat accustomed to a certain level of physical contact, but hugging someone I’m not close with like the guy next door was very strange for me.
Humans are warm-blooded, so naturally, their bodies are warm, and he’s no different. I remember when I hugged him, he wasn’t as soft as Ter or Cat, but it felt safe. It had to feel that way since he was my only anchor to keep me from falling off the motorcycle.
Since I’ve never thought of myself as someone worth noticing, I didn’t think he might be interested in me. But if, let’s say…just suppose that was true, I would have to say I wouldn’t want it to be that way. If he’s going to like or be interested in me, he might as well spend his life doing something else.
But whatever, as long as there’s no trouble.
I gently washed the bruise on my neck with warm water, hoping it would fade more. Thinking about it carefully, it might have been done by the guy next door.
Because with the ghost in the room, we’ve always lived in peace.
If it was him, that would be quite infuriating. I let him sleep in my room, and he still hurt the host. What a bad character that guy has.
After soaking to my satisfaction, I got out of the tub, checked the bruise on my neck in the mirror, and found it had faded significantly. I got dressed and walked out of the bathroom.
I checked my phone to see if Cat had replied to my message asking if he could bring Mr. Jeon back to me since I only have a motorcycle, which isn’t very convenient. But Cat’s chat still shows as unread.
I sat at my work desk and began preparing for a new project I’ve just taken on. After working for a while, I heard a knock at the door. I took off my headphones and went to peek through the peephole, finding it was the guy from the next room standing on the other side of the door.
“What’s up?” I asked without even opening the door.
“Open up.”
“What do you want?”
“Nothing.” He replied with a calm face, “Just want to be with you.”
“No, thanks.” I answered quietly, stepping back from the door intending to return to my seat, but I stopped in my tracks when I heard his voice from the other side. “I can break this door down.”
“…”
“At least it’ll be damaged.”
I sighed without realizing it, reluctantly walked back to open the door, and before I could react, he extended his arm to keep me from closing the door on him again, then pushed his way in. He took off his slippers and set them aside before walking into the room.
A black T-shirt with sweatpants and slippers, carrying just one shoulder bag, looking casual, different from when we met earlier. He dropped his bag by the sofa near my work desk.
“What are you doing?”
“Working on an assignment.”
“I see.”
“So, what’s up?” I asked in my usual calm tone, watching him sit down on the sofa and take some documents out of his bag.
“Didn’t I say that already?” He answered casually, as if this was a normal thing for him to do. When he said “Didn’t I say already?” Did he mean wanting to be with me?
“Why stay here?”
“Just want to, why? I won’t disturb you, I’ve got books to read too.” He said, waving the sheets in his hand to show me.
“Why not stay in your own room?”
“I told you, I want to be with you.”
“…” I sighed in frustration. No matter what I say, it’s probably pointless, so whatever, as long as he doesn’t disturb me, it’s fine.
I sat back down at my work desk and focused on the computer screen again.
“Let me ask you something first?”
“Uh-huh.”
“My painting job.”
“Will you take it?”
“Not in a hurry.” He answered with a shrug.
“Then, I’ll take it next week.”
“Okay.”
And then I put on my headphones, playing the sound of rain to enhance my concentration while working. After some time, feeling stiff, I moved a bit, catching sight of the intruder stretched out on the sofa with headphones on, reading sheets comfortably.
I went back to focusing on my work until I realized it was 9 PM. I got up from the desk, thinking it was time to rest my eyes, noticing the person on the sofa was now asleep. Why sleep on someone else’s sofa? Why not go to your own bed?
Want to stay here, huh?
So you threatened to break down the door, did you?
And I believed he would really do it if I didn’t open up for him. Even though I didn’t want to, someone was now sleeping on my sofa.
I went out to the balcony to get some fresh air and called North. He answered quickly, sounding unusually excited.
(Oh! What’s up? How’s it going?)
“Why do you ask how it’s going?”
(Uh…oh, well, nothing, forget it, what’s up?)
“The guy next door.”
(What’s with him?)
“North, you’re getting too excited.” I said back because the voice on the other end sounded too excited to be natural, like he was waiting for something.
(Not at all!Tell me, quick!)
“He’s sleeping on my sofa, he’s already asleep.”
(Yeah, oh!, Why did he sleep there?)
“He said he wanted to be with me or something.”
(…Wow, wow, oh my, that’s direct~, and then what?)
“Nothing. I just wanted to ask how to get him out of my room.”
(Oh, don’t you want to be with him?)
“…That’s an odd question.” I furrowed my brows slightly, “Why should I want to?”
(Oh, I see, yeah, oh well, that’s sad.) I heard North let out a big sigh, (Wake him up and kick him out then.)
“I feel like it’s not going to work somehow.”
(Why?)
“At first, I didn’t open the door for him, and he threatened to break it down.” (Wow…oh, damn) the voice sounded resigned about something, (I shouldn’t have told him to do whatever he wants.)
“What?”
(He’s like this, if he wants to be with you, he’ll be with you, he’s a crazy person who doesn’t care about anything.)
“Hmm.”
(You, you’re so cold.)
“What am I supposed to do?”
(Even now you’re still like this, can’t you feel it at all?)
“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows slightly, “Feel it? …Oh, I think I know.”
(Really? Can you react a bit then?)
“Hmm.” I only replied that, my gaze wandering outside to relax my eyes after using them intensely.
(Sigh, to be honest, I thought it would be like this from the start) North said, sounding tired, (But, but, I’m rooting for you to open up. I’ve interrogated him, and I approve.)
“So, you asked about my boyfriend today because of this?”
(Exactly, see, you didn’t believe me. I’ve introduced you to so many friends.
If you chose one of them, you wouldn’t have to deal with someone like him.)
“…Oh, is that so?”
(Just kidding, meeting him might be for the best…maybe. I mean, well, I can’t say, I’m not going to interfere.)
“So, how are we going to get him out of my room?”
(Give up, the most self-centered person in the world is Phii Arthit.)
“Did you finish your work?”
I heard someone’s voice from behind, slowly turning around to see it was the person who must have just woken up from napping on the sofa, the one I was discussing with North. He was leaning against the wall, looking a bit groggy, before running his hand through his messy hair to fix it, and walked towards me.
“Just taking a break.”
(Has he come?) North asked.
“Yeah. That’s it for now.”
(Okay.)
Then I hung up because it wasn’t appropriate to talk on the phone with someone else in the room.
“When are you going back?” I turned to ask the person standing next to me, leaning against the balcony.
“Don’t know, until I feel like going back, I guess.”
And our balcony corner returned to silence once again. I turned to go back inside to continue working, but he grabbed my wrist from behind. I looked back at him, confused.
He gently guided my hand to touch his cheek. I wanted to pull my hand back, but I couldn’t match his strength.
“You, damn.” He said while still holding my hand and looking at me, “Seriously, I was thinking for about half an hour before coming to see you, wondering what to do.”
“…” !!
Suddenly, he pulled me into a hug. I was startled and tried to push him away, but as I thought, it was ineffective.
I could smell his faint scent and feel the warmth from the person in front of me.
How could I not smell it when we were this close?
I tried my hardest to push him away, but with such close proximity, I couldn’t do anything.
“Stop it, it’s pointless.” His voice sounded like that of a victor, which annoyed me quite a bit, especially as he tightened his hug until it was uncomfortable.
He said that after I tried to wriggle out of his embrace.
“Let go. Or I’ll step on your foot.”
“Oh, you warned me first, but go ahead and step, you’re too small to hurt me.” And as he said, I didn’t have enough strength to hurt him, despite having just worked hard and only coming out for some fresh air to relax, but now I felt even more tired, not just physically but mentally too.
“Yeah, just stay still, like this, it’s much better.”
“Satisfied yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Sigh.” I let out a big sigh and let it go.
“Ha ha, you give up so easily.”
“Do I?”
Isn’t it that I just can’t fight his strength?
“Come on, hug me back.”
“No way.” I answered. He didn’t say anything more before leaning down, bringing his face close to my head. Though I couldn’t see, it felt like he was sniffing my hair, so I started to frown and made a sound of displeasure. “Okay, okay, I’ll let go.” He said before loosening his embrace but still not letting go of my wrist. I sighed in relief, looking up at him with annoyance,
“Angry?”
“Yeah, let go, I have work to do.”
“Aren’t you going to ask anything?” He asked, raising an eyebrow curiously,
“Like why I hugged you.”
“I don’t want to know at all.”
“So, if anyone hugs you, you won’t say anything?”
“I would.” I answered, “And do I look willing?”
“Your voice is so harsh.” He said while still smiling, clearly enjoying himself,
“You really don’t like it?”
“Hmm.”
“That’s a reaction that suits you.” It seemed like he was having fun teasing me or doing whatever it was to annoy me, but my feelings were turning into boredom instead.
“Won’t you let go?” I asked, looking at the hand he was holding, not letting go no matter how much I tried to shake it off.
“What if I say no?”
“…Follow me.” I said only that before turning to walk into the room with the person who wouldn’t let go of my hand following behind. I sat down in the work chair.
“What’s this about?”
“Working.”
“And my hand?”
“You won’t let go yourself.”
“Fuck, wait, so you’re just going to let me hold your hand like this?” He looked surprised and let out a small laugh. I nodded in response. Just like when I first moved into the room, with Phii Donat scratching the walls, the sound of crying in the bathroom, even the sounds of people jumping off the building or shadows flitting about. I just ignored it as long as it didn’t bother me.
“Uh-huh.” I just answered before lifting my free hand to grab the mouse pen and continue drawing. I heard the person standing there laugh for a while before he sat down on the floor beside me, still not letting go of my hand.
“Sitting on the floor?”
“Yeah, your room has only one chair, which is the one you’re sitting on, isn’t it tiring to stand?”
…If you just let go of my hand, you wouldn’t have to sit on the floor like this. “Then you’re good with that hand, huh?” He asked, referring to the hand I was currently using to draw since he was holding the less dominant one.
“Yeah.”
“So like you, you bastard, do whatever you want, is this how you work?” He teased in good spirits. I’ve never had the experience of drawing while someone sat on the floor next to me, holding my hand, “This could be bad work if you don’t stop me.”
“…”
“If I get carried away and do more, it’ll be your problem.”
“Don’t do it.” I said, my eyes still focused on the computer screen, “I don’t like it.”
“Don’t like me holding your hand?”
“I don’t like you.”
“It’s not wasted effort then.”
“Stop it.” I said with a calm tone, but it seemed like those words had no effect on the person playing with my hand, “It’s a waste of time.”
“You mean what I’m doing?”
“Yes.”
“Why waste time? It’s damn good to be with you.”
“…”
His words made my hand, which was drawing, stop. I turned my chair slightly towards the person sitting there.
“Why do you look so stunned?”
He asked while looking up at me. This angle was quite strange since I’d never had to look down at him before.
Did you sit on the floor just to hold my hand?
While I couldn’t find any words to say, he let out a small sigh before his expression started to become more serious.
“I like you.”
“…”
“I don’t know what or how, but I genuinely like you.”
Silence enveloped the room. I was stunned by the direct confession of love, which I had heard for the first time.
“Sorry.” I said softly. However, it’s better to clearly reject him, “But I don’t think of you that way. Give up.”
“No.”
He answered with a slight shrug, completely indifferent.
“I knew you’d say that. It might work with others, but not with me, I tell you.”
“This is difficult for me.”
“Is it? Then it’ll have to be difficult.”
I looked at him as he played with my hand, wondering what to say next. “You must have done little good in your past lives to have someone like me like you. Just accept it because I’m not backing off.”
“I’ll go do some more merit-making.”
“I’ll take you.”
“Sigh, it won’t change anything. You might just be interested because you’ve never met someone as strange as me.”
“It’s not me thinking of you. I like you, that’s why I don’t want to curse you out.”
“Sigh, just let me be alone.”
“Just let me stay with you, someone like me isn’t easy to find, right? Just think that your life will get a bit more chaotic with me around. I’ll try not to do things you don’t like. Just don’t kick me out, okay?”
“…”
“And about that mark on your neck, I did it. Last night, I was a bit careless because you smell so damn good, it made me lose my mind, probably because I was drunk too. But I won’t do it again, I feel sorry for causing you pain.” “It hurt.”
“Sorry.”
“…”
“Anything else to argue about? No objection means we have a deal.”
“What deal?”
“Let me stay with you.”
“No way.”
“Why?”
“You know why…” I said in a weary voice. No matter what I say, he has an answer for everything. What North said about him being the most stubborn person in the world seems true. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t listen to others like this.
“About Khram?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t care that you had an ex.”
“…That’s not it.”
“Then what, are you scared I’ll hurt you like he did?”
I didn’t reply, just sighed again, hoping it would help me relax a bit, staring at the screen with the unfinished drawing.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend, so I don’t know how it feels.” He said before gently tugging my arm, “What’s up, look me in the eyes.”
“Why do I need to look you in the eyes?” I asked, turning to look down at him, meeting his sharp, dark, beautiful eyes that I never noticed were so beautiful, making me want to try drawing them.
“To talk about something important, are you ready? I prepared this from North’s room, man.”
“You went to North’s room?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point. Are you ready to listen?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’ve never had anything to do with love or any of that crap. I wasn’t even interested in it and if I hadn’t met you first; I’d probably die alone. You’re the first person I’ve felt this way about, and do you know what? I tried to get over you, but
I couldn’t. I won’t feel this way about anyone else.”
“As for you, even if you don’t feel anything for me, I don’t care. All I want is to be with you, that’s it.”
“So, since you won’t have anyone else…
“Let me be with you.”
I listened intently from the first word to the last, unconsciously holding my breath. I didn’t know how I should feel because all the emotions were mixed up. I was stunned that he thought of me that way, surprised it was me, and couldn’t believe I was hearing something like this.
“Let me ask something.” He spoke up to break the silence while I was still speechless.
“What?”
“Does it feel bad when I hug you?”
“It feels bad.”
“How bad?”
“Uncomfortable.”
“Why?”
“You hug too tightly.”
“Then next time, I’ll be gentler.” He said, “Give me a chance, I’m not that asshole Khram, don’t judge me by him. Anyway, since you’re not going to be with anyone, just let me stay with you. That’s all.”
“If that’s the case, you’re the one who will be hurt.”
“Why? Are you saying you’ll never like me no matter what?”
“What if I said that’s how it is?”
“I just said it doesn’t matter what you think, but I believe you’ll end up liking me back.”
“…Sigh.”
“Sighing like this means you’ve given up, right?”
“Yeah, I’m tired, I don’t want to argue anymore.”
“Okay.” He said cheerfully, “Then we have a deal. Oh, I have one condition.”
“What?”
“You can’t be with anyone else…absolutely, because you said you’d never be with anyone else in your life. Don’t tell me you won’t be with anyone but then choose to have a boyfriend and leave me like a dog, I won’t accept that.”
Before I could reply, the person sitting suddenly stood up and let go of my hand. Because he had been holding it for so long, this hand felt very warm. He stood in front of me, leaned down, and kissed my forehead before pulling back. “Let me have some bonus.” He said with a pleased smile on the corner of his mouth, “I’ll leave for now.” He went to pick up his things by the sofa and left the room. When I heard the door close, I thought I could finally breathe, but then I heard the door open again.
“Oh. Don’t pressure yourself, take your time to like me, I won’t rush you.”
“…”
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