SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 13: Hello World! #4.
“He looks handsome, don’t you think so mom?”
“I don’t really know, but compared to your father in his younger days…”
“It’s not like that. Mother, you have lost all sense of moderation. You are feeling the side effects of love again.”
Jaeyoung restrained his laughter, moved closer to the door, and leaned against it to eavesdrop.
“By the way, did you get a health check before having sex?”
“No, but I always use protection.”
“Then it’s safe.”
“To be honest, I often have desires and find pleasure in having sex in everyday life too much. Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my humanity. Even just exchanging glances can stimulate my sexual desire. If he had any dangerous infections, it would have spread since before now and caused problems.”
“In a way, you have a part that resembles your father.”
“A fallen tree doesn’t fall far from its trunk.”
“Son, before I started having a relationship with your father, we had to get tested for various diseases beforehand. You should also get tested.”
“I understand. It seems like I am being careless. I will book a hospital appointment tomorrow.”
Listening to both of them talk about everything, Jaeyoung knows that if he is caught eavesdropping, he will feel embarrassed. But he wants to know and care about what they are talking about, so he doesn’t move away.
“You look happy, son.”
I am happy.”
“What is so happy about it?”
“After we started dating, life has become more meaningful. I want to get married soon because it is a version that increases stability. Even if I wear a ring, I am still not at ease and I think I should emphasize legally that he is my spouse to be able to trust him.”
“Feeling like that is normal, everyone loves stability.”
“Right now, I can’t understand how I can be so patient even for just one day when he is just a guy.”
Today, Sangwoo speaks and negotiates very skillfully. Jaeyoung stands against the wall, listens to the other party’s voice, and smiles silently without blinking.
“How do you divide household chores?”
“I do the laundry and clean the living room, while he is responsible for everything in the kitchen. But I hate it when he leaves scraps of food, so I end up eating them for him.”
“Does he suffer from an eating disorder?”
“No, it’s more like an annoyance.”
“I see. Sanghee is also the same.”
“There’s no comparison, really. That strange creature must be the first human to have such a twisted leg, while he…there are times when he’s just a little lazy, but that’s rare. When he comes back from work, he might be tired.”
The tone of his reserved voice sounds sweet. Jaeyoung hopes that the peanut shells covering the other person’s eyes will not come off.
“Last month, Sanghee also brought his boyfriend. They plan to get married next year.”
“I know. I’ve always wondered if that person knows my sister’s true nature or not.”
“It may be surprising, but I think it’s because she is with her partner that they don’t reveal any flaws in their daily life.”
“It’s deception. They will probably break up after they get married.”
“What about you? Isn’t there a problem with that?”
“I don’t know, man. Sometimes I just want to know how it feels, like Hyung Jaeyoung, so I took off my socks and left them lying there for about six hours.
After that, I felt regretful.”
‘…Is that so?’
“Son, sometimes I try to impress your dad by buying literature books. Even if
I don’t read them.”
“I understand. I’ve been skateboarding every weekend too.”
“How is it?”
“Wait a minute. Let me open it and show you.”
The room fell silent for a moment. Then, the sound of water that I had heard somewhere before became louder.
[Take a good look… Sangwoo-ya, just step on the tail[1], right? And don’t touch the ground. If you miss, you could flip over and break your head.]
[Where should I press?]
[The sole of your foot. It’s hard to explain in words. You have to use your shoulder to maintain balance. Let me show you again. Slide like this… Try it, try doing it and it’s faster.]
[Wait. I’m recording a video.]
The sound of the skateboard scraping against the floor, and the video was cut off. Chu Sangwoo, who wanted to show off to his own parents, really went all out and was an excellent skater.
“Why do you have to do something like this?”
The mother of the person in question remained silent for a moment before speaking up.
“I think I like it. It gives me a more exhilarating feeling than running.”
“You don’t use this to travel, right?”
“Yes. It doesn’t have an engine, so it’s not considered an efficient way to travel. But it’s a lot of fun. Last Sunday, I overshot a bit and fell over while plowing. I bruised myself a little but I am all okay now.”
“Be careful.”
“And I have to go on a trip once a season and watch a movie once a week.”
“Sounds too bothersome.”
“It’s a way to update. I don’t think it’s cool or anything.”
“He’s bigger than you. Probably won’t hurt you, right?”
“Don’t worry.”
“Okay, let’s go then.”
“Any other questions?”
“No, that’s all.”
“Then let’s go up.”
“See you later, let’s talk again. When I talk to you, this mother of yours feels better.”
“I understand. Then tell me about the research you’ve been doing lately.”
‘Should I call him a filial son?’
Jaeyoung laughed and backed away, being extra careful not to make the old staircase make squeaky noises.
Sangwoo had spoken correctly. The parents tried to understand and respect their son’s decision. They didn’t care about Jaeyoung being a man; his father’s attention was focused solely on his son’s feelings, while his mother cared about their son’s well-being. Sometimes, regardless of whether the person who
Sangwoo brought there was a man or an extraterrestrial, they both reacted similarly.
‘I feel a bit sad too.’
Jaeyoung immersed himself in happiness and smiled. On the second floor, there were two bathrooms and two bedrooms. There were traces of stickers on the door of the first room that had been pulled off before, but at least he was confident that it wasn’t Sangwoo’s room. Upon closer inspection, he found that there were purple writings written with a marker.
[Sang-Hee’s room~☆★, No! One! Allowed! at all.
Especially Chu Sangwoo.]
Next to the name Sangwoo, there was a drawing that resembled a cloud, sometimes it could be a piece of lettuce[2]. Jaeyoung walked forward and stopped in front of the door to the clean and neat room, his heart pounding uncontrollably for no reason, so he took a deep breath to calm himself and opened the door. After feeling the wall to turn on the light, he smiled immediately.
“This is… Chu Sangwoo’s museum.”
Jaeyoung lifted his face and examined every corner of the small room.
One wall was filled with bookshelves packed with science books for children. When he took one out to look at it, he found a worn-out cover that said everything was old. Especially the ones that were so old they were like dust, and on the wall there was a map of stars and constellations with over a hundred different dinosaur names. Although it was laminated, the edges were already worn out.
The brown table that Sangwoo used to sit and read high school books was covered with glass, and on it were clay models and movable solar system models. On the bookshelf were math exercise books and several notebooks, and the top shelf had a helicopter, a battleship, a satellite model, and around twenty CDs.
“This has been a long time.”
Jaeyoung opened a few CDs, reminiscing about the past. Then he discovered something and smiled happily.
He carefully picked up the most valuable artifact that would most likely be in the museum if Chu Sangwoo’s museum actually existed. If Jaeyoung guessed correctly, it would be a model that the stubborn boy’s father bought when he was twelve, Chu Sangwoo’s first love. It was a toy that turned white because the yellow color on it almost peeled off, a ‘Crawler’[3]. Jaeyoung carefully examined the mini excavator that was smaller than his hand before placing it down.
His gaze shifted to the small bed and he quickly glanced over the clean white sheet prepared by Sangwoo’s parents that was placed on the black space under the bed. It was often a secret hiding place for the young boy. Jaeyoung didn’t believe that Sangwoo would keep pornographic pictures, “Even if the young man still looks at porn, he would probably back them up as digital files rather than keeping physical items.” But he still bent down to look under the bed with curiosity.
When he saw that there was a plastic box under the bed, he picked it up and found that it was filled with toys – marbles, mini cars, water bottle rockets, action figures, model ambulances, Rubik’s cubes, wooden blocks, glass marbles, and a ddakji [4]… Another box was a colorful Lego set, next to a stack of old science magazines tied with a rope.
There was only that spot that seemed frozen in time, as if it held important belongings for its owner. Sangwoo would keep them well-preserved. He didn’t throw away anything, everything, old and worn-out items included, but even so, they remained in a meaningful state.
‘Every time he comes here, he feels like it’s home.’
Jaeyoung moved places frequently, so all the things he used as a child had disappeared. The only place that felt like home to him now was the officetel where he lived with Sangwoo. Sometimes it might be the dream of a wandering vagabond to have a stable life. Jaeyoung could feel the overwhelming emotions as he was surrounded by the past that had created Sangwoo’s present.
‘Your world, your starting point, everything that led you to be by my side.’
Jaeyoung stood in the place where Sangwoo grew up, slowly getting acquainted with the world of an honest and curious young boy, and capturing those moments with his eyes. He imagined what it would be like if Sangwoo’s love never changed, how long his love and devotion would last. He wished to be one of the things that Sangwoo liked, and hoped that his own traces would remain within Sangwoo, no matter how many years passed, like the fingerprints embedded in those science books.
Jaeyoung neatly arranged everything under the bed and stood up before discovering Sangwoo’s graduation photo album on the bookshelf. He lay down on the bed, looking at the unfamiliar face and waiting for Sangwoo to appear.
The picture of Chu Sangwoo during his elementary school years looked just as expected. It wasn’t very interesting, a young boy with short hair and an expressionless face. Although he had fair and dry skin, it was a characteristic that was not commonly seen, even during his high school years. He could feel that only time had passed, while that face remained surprisingly unchanged.
‘If we met in high school, there’s no way we could get close.’
Jaeyoung pondered as he looked at the group photo from Sangwoo’s high school years. On the other hand, he was a bookworm, the undisputed top student in the school, which was a strange thing. While he was a struggling student controlled within the school, Jaeyoung suddenly felt that the fact that people like them were connected was like a miracle.
If Jaeyoung did not attend university as a talented student in the arts, he would probably die because of his grades, and even if he recovers, he probably would not be able to attend Hankuk University. If he did not postpone his training with Heng Sooyi until the last semester, he would not have met with Sangwoo again. If he participated in group work and contributed appropriately and created a good PowerPoint presentation in that semester, Sangwoo probably would not remember Jang Jaeyoung forever. And if Han Sooyeong did not give Jaeyoung the “Vegetable Man” project, he would have graduated without knowing the truth about Chu Sangwoo, the leader of the group, being a crazy guy.
He increased his grip on the photo album. Several random events happened overlapping each other, and Sangwoo ended up beside Jaeyoung. What would happen if he had not met the other party?
While Jaeyoung was dancing in imagination, the door suddenly opened. When he saw the man walking through the door, he immediately got up from the bed and realized that he was hugging Sangwoo tightly.
“…Are you crying?”
“No, is there something in my eye?”
“This room is not used and it’s dusty, right?”
Jaeyoung laughed softly, his back touching Sangwoo’s chest and his chin resting on his shoulder. He used to think his heart was full of love for this man, and he thought it couldn’t get any higher because he had reached the highest point, but that was a misconception. As the days and nights went by, he fell more in love with Chu Sangwoo. Jaeyoung loved Sangwoo more today than he did yesterday.
“Sangwooya.”
“Yes, what is it?”
“How much do you like me?”
“…”
Jaeyoung released his small hug and used his hand to lift Sangwoo’s chin, their eyes met for just a moment, and his gaze was filled with warmth. Who said the other party was a dust-sucking robot? What gentle vacuum cleaner exists in the world? Jaeyoung smiled softly at the other party.
“Answer quickly.”
“… It cannot be measured quantitatively.”
“Do you like it more than an excavator?”
“That point has been missing for a long time.”
‘Have you heard, you scrap metal!’
Jaeyoung announced victory over the paint-stripped toy.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“I want to kiss you.”
“What will you do if your dad and mom come in while we’re kissing?”
“If I say not to come in, no one will come in.”
Jaeyoung looked down and caught Sangwoo’s still gaze. Sangwoo frowned as he saw him fidgeting.
“Sangwoo, the excavator and helicopter are watching.” “They should know by now that I am an adult.” Sangwoo spoke calmly.
“When will you let me play with the toys?”
Jaeyoung burst into laughter, but in the next second, Sangwoo tiptoed to cover his mouth, so he couldn’t laugh anymore.
________________________________________.
[1] tail = the back part of a skateboard, nose = the front part of a skateboard.
[2] Sawtooth lettuce, derived from Sangwoo’s nickname, which means
“Sawtooth lettuce.”
[3] Crawler = caterpillar track, but if it’s a regular wheel.
[4] Dut Ji, “ddakji.” A toy made by folding paper into a rectangular shape, or by placing letters or images on thick paper.