NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 12 part 2

“Phii, I want to talk to you.” I tried again, knocking one more time, but there was still no reply.

“Is there a spare key?” I turned to ask Aunt Da, who shook her head gently.

“The young master doesn’t allow us to make spare keys.”

“Phii Johan.” I let out a big sigh. If you’re in there, just give me a little response, won’t you? Or have you gone out?

“Phii, are you inside?” I continued knocking on the door while calling out to the owner of the room for a while.

“Auntie Da!”

!!

Phii Joe’s voice came from the other side of the door. Hearing this, Auntie Da hurried over immediately.

“Yes?”

“Please take him back to his room.”

“Let’s go back, the young master has given orders.” Auntie Da said with a troubled expression before reaching out to gently pull my arm.

“Phii Joe, can we talk? I’m sorry. I know you’re angry.”

“…”

“Please talk to me.”

Now I felt like I was being stubborn somehow, even though it was clear from his tone that Phii Joe didn’t want to see me. Auntie Da let go of my arm with a heavy sigh, probably because I wouldn’t leave.

“…”

“It might be better if we don’t talk, but it’s my fault, and I feel extremely guilty.”

“Otherwise, I’ll just stand here.”

“Phii Joe…”

“Can you hear me out, please?”

“Go back.”

“Phii…”

“If I see you right now, I’m not sure I can control myself.”

“…”

“Do you think you can handle that?”

“Please open the door for me.”

From the sound of his voice, it was clear Phii Johan was very close. The door opened soon after. I was pulled inside without any time to prepare, hearing the door slam shut behind me. The room was pitch black, and before I could think any further,

“Ugh.” I was gently pushed against the wall. Though I couldn’t see clearly due to the darkness, the person in front of me was Phii Johan. I looked up at him in confusion, and then Phii Joe leaned closer.

“I warned you.”

His words were spoken in a whisper, almost inaudible. As he got closer, I instinctively closed my eyes, feeling the soft touch of his lips against mine. I unintentionally allowed the kiss, letting it deepen.

It didn’t last long before he pulled back.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop this?”

I didn’t reply, my heart starting to race in a way it hadn’t for a long time. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the dim light.

This was the first time I’d seen him up so close.

His eyes…

So beautiful.

“Ugh.” I let out another soft moan when Phii Johan leaned in again, this time pressing his lips against mine more forcefully than before, his hot tongue exploring, biting down until I felt the pain. I instinctively gripped his shirt tightly. I didn’t know how long it lasted, but when I started to feel breathless, Phii Joe still didn’t stop.

“Ugh.” I tried pushing him away, but I lacked the strength. Phii Johan then used his other hand, not holding mine, to push the back of my head, bringing us even closer together.

My heart was beating so hard I feared it might burst out of my chest, feeling as if all my energy was being drained away, barely able to stand. I pounded on his chest to make him stop.

“Umm.” I pushed with all my might, but it had no effect. The lack of air was becoming torturous, and finally, Phii Johan slowly withdrew his lips, his beautiful eyes still locked on mine, drawing my gaze irresistibly.

“I told you from the start.”

“…”

“If you thought you couldn’t handle it, you shouldn’t have come close to me in the first place.”

I didn’t know how to respond, my mind was all foggy, breathing rapidly because now my heart was working hard, my mouth felt numb, causing me to clench my lips tightly, still feeling like I was being kissed, before tasting the faint flavor and scent of blood.

   Did he kiss me so hard that my lips split?

   “…”

“Phii…hey!” Suddenly, Phii Johan lifted me up and threw me onto the bed. Startled, I tried to get up but was held down. “Wait…just a second.”

“What?”

“I need to ask something.”

Before I could get an answer, my hands were pinned to the bed, and he kissed me again, this time just as forceful as before. I felt like I could taste more blood than before, but Phii Johan didn’t seem to care much about that. The rough contact made me want to turn my face away, but I couldn’t escape.

His strong hand gripped my chin when I tried to resist.

“Uh, Phii, stop.” I closed my eyes tightly out of fear, breathing heavily when he momentarily pulled away, but soon he leaned down to press his lips against mine again.

“Ahh.” Suddenly, my whole body felt hot. The rhythm of his kisses and the sensations I experienced for over ten minutes, those embarrassing sounds, the trembling flesh over my heart. I was breathing in and out even though Phii Johan hadn’t stopped kissing me. The warm breath of the person in front of me gently brushed my cheek and ear.

Not gentle at all.

Only that first kiss was gentle…

I tried to squirm to get free from the person holding me down. I didn’t know why he was so strong, and Phii Johan himself didn’t seem like he was going to let me go easily either.

“That’s enough…uh.” Phii Johan didn’t give me a chance to protest further, instead, he pressed his lips down harder. With my free hand, I tried to push and hit him away, but of course, it was ineffective.

Scary…

After a long while, the person in front of me finally pulled his lips away. I looked at Phii Johan with displeasure, but when I met his eyes again, I instinctively looked away.

Why does he look at me like that…

“…” I clenched my lips to chase away the numbness, it felt like we had been kissing for so long that I could still feel it, as if he hadn’t really stopped kissing me. I wanted to protest, but no words came out because Phii Johan had warned me before. But I was the one who didn’t leave as he had suggested.

But…

Who would have thought it would be like this…

Ugh…

It hurts!!

I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Phii Johan leaned down and left a mark on my neck forcefully without me being ready, then looked up into my eyes.

“Wh…what are you doing!”

“Just hugging.” Phii Joe said before standing up and pulling me into his embrace, making me sit on his lap and hug me from behind, tightening his hold until I felt constricted.

“This is…” I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts, but my composure scattered again when Phii Joe nuzzled against the back of my neck and shoulders.

“Phii!”

“What?”

“What are you playing at?”

“Not playing.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Do I really need to explain?”

“…”

“I like you.”

“That’s it.”

!!! “What’s wrong?” “Phii…why are you so straightforward about this?” “I thought you knew.” “I knew, but like, hey, give me a chance to prepare.” I complained a bit, and that seemed to lighten the mood of the other person slightly.

“…”

“Why did you kiss me…earlier?” I asked, lowering my head, embarrassed to ask such a direct question. My heart was still beating hard…

“Why?”

“I had to ask why. Are you not afraid I’d get angry?”

“You’re not angry.”

“How do you know!”

“You don’t look angry.” Phii Johan said, pressing his nose against my shoulder again. I flinched and tried to move away, but he held me tight.

“Stay still.”

“Ordering me?”

“Yes.”

“Won’t do it.”

I said before trying to struggle again, but he only held me tighter.

“I told you not to be stubborn.”

Suddenly, silence enveloped the room. I could only hear the sound of my own heart beating loudly. Damn it. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and Phii Johan didn’t say anything either. He just rested his forehead on my shoulder.

I didn’t know why, but I felt like he was trying to handle his emotions, as if he didn’t want to be too harsh with me anymore. I noticed his hands, which were holding me, were shaking, and his breathing was uneven, probably because he was trying to control his anger. But still, Are you not wanting to be harsh anymore? My lips hurt so much now… “Well…what I wanted to talk about was.” I spoke up to break the silence, feeling that both Phii Johan and I were starting to calm down. When I say I was calming down, I meant my heart wasn’t pounding so hard it felt like it would burst out.

“Mh?”

“I’m sorry. Even though you told me not to go, I still sneaked out.”

“Hmm, I know.”

“You knew I sneaked out?”

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“The first day.”

“Wow.” I let out a sigh, realizing that all my efforts to keep it secret had been futile from the very first day. “Then why didn’t you get angry about the lying?”

“I did get angry.”

“…”

“But seeing how determined you were, I let you go.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hmm.”

“And for causing trouble, and I want to thank you for coming to help…last night, I mean, I…” I tried to say what I had intended from the beginning, but suddenly, words failed me as if something was stuck in my chest.

“I’m listening.”

“Okay, Phii Day…Day, it seems like he liked me from the start. He took my phone at some point, and by the time everyone had left, that’s when…that happened.” “What did he do exactly?” “Uh, well…kissed me, and before that, he was a bit touchy.” “What?” “He squeezed my lips, my cheeks, patted my head, but I told him I didn’t like it.”

“And the kiss?”

“Ugh. I was grossed out.”

“Do you feel the same about my kiss?”

“…”

“I didn’t…feel bad, sir.” I said softly after reflecting on it. I didn’t feel that bad; what I felt was shock, fear, and my lips hurt more than anything else. If you ask about my feelings, it’s not bad, but it’s not good either.

But if you ask if his kiss was good…

It had to be good, right…

Phii Johan is really good at kissing.

“At first, I didn’t plan on doing that. I didn’t want to be like him, but you didn’t stop me.”

“Oh…okay.” Is that because I didn’t stop him?

“What else did he do?”

“Nothing else, except his friends hit my stomach.”

“Hmm.”

“If I hadn’t come, do you know what would have happened?” Phii Johan’s voice was stern, making me startle. His deep, low whisper close to my ear sent a chill through my body, “I told you from the start. But you still lied.”

“…”

“If I hadn’t found out you lied. If no one was there last night.”

“You know, right?”

“…” Scary… Why do I feel this scared? I stiffened when Phii Johan tightened his embrace, and one of his hands that was holding mine squeezed tighter.

   “…”

“I…didn’t mean…” Before I could finish my sentence, Phii Johan loosened his grip and threw me back onto the bed again. When he straddled me like this, it felt like I was forced not to avert my gaze.

“You didn’t mean to lie?”

“…”

“On that day, you didn’t pick up the call, didn’t you?”

“Phii…” I called out softly, hesitantly. “I was scared you’d be angry. That day when you brought me back to the dorm, you were really intimidating.” That day was scary, but now it’s even more so…

“You didn’t explain why you didn’t want me to work.”

“It’s because I was worried.”

“…”

“Couldn’t you have guessed that?”

!!

He’s so blunt about it now?

“Uh…well, I…” I was at a loss for words, unsure of what to do. Why is Phii Johan acting like this? I’m definitely going to die here. I’ve never seen him in this mode before. That’s enough. If my heart beats any harder, it’ll explode.

“Quit all your jobs.”

“Huh? All of them?”

“Yes.”

“Phii…” I said softly. Quitting the bar job I could understand, but I definitely wouldn’t quit the other two jobs; they weren’t dangerous at all.

“Can I just quit the bar job?” “No.”

“But I still need to work at the other two places.” I started to argue, which seemed to worsen his mood significantly.

“Why?”

“…”

“I need to earn money to pay you back. When I started working at home, I stopped sending money, remember? If I don’t work, I won’t have any money. Not just for paying you back, but even for eating.”

“…”

“Then I won’t accept money from your other jobs.”

“Huh?”

“If you let me hug you, I’ll give you five hundred.”

“…”

“A thousand per kiss.”

“…”

“But if it’s more than that…”

“…”

“Five thousand each time.”

“And you…don’t have the right to refuse either.”

!!!

Wait a second…

   I heard that I owe you two hundred thousand!!

   And all my debts…

  

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 12 part 1

   Chapter 12: How Much is Your Love?

   Ugh

It hurts

Why does it hurt so much?

“Ugh.” I clamped my mouth shut with the pain shooting through my abdomen. It hurt so much, it felt like it was reaching my intestines. I slowly opened my eyes with difficulty, seeing the familiar white ceiling.

Why does this feel like it’s happened before?

I woke up at Phii Johan’s house again.

I tried to push myself up.

“Take it easy.” I turned towards the voice. A kind-looking aunt reached out to help support me. After a while, I was sitting up against the headboard. The wound hurt a lot, but it was bearable. Looking around, I realized there was no one else in the room.

“The young master just left a moment ago.”

“Young master?”

“Johan.” “Oh, I see.” I nodded in understanding, remembering Phii Johan was here earlier, “And, uh…you?”

“I’m Aunt Da, I’m the caretaker for the young master and the head housekeeper here. How are you feeling? Does the wound hurt a lot?” Aunt Da asked with a slightly concerned look.

“It’s manageable.”

“That’s good then. The doctor checked you, and it wasn’t that bad. Just external, with some ointment and medication, you’ll get better.”

“Thank you.” I said, “And Aunt Da…you were watching over me?”

“Yes, dear. Since last night, with the young master too, but he just left a little while ago.”

“Oh…I see.”

Was Phii Joe watching over me too?

   What he said last night, “I told you, didn’t I, not to come work here.” meant he knew I was sneaking off to work, knew I was lying, but he didn’t say anything. And he even…

   Came to help…

   Last time as well, and this time too.

   Why is he so kind to me?

   “I had never seen…the young master this angry before.”

“…”

“Really scary, you know. Even though he’s usually quick to anger and irritable, I’ve never seen him this angry.”

“And did Phii Joe…say anything?”

“The young master didn’t say anything, but his expression was not good at all. It looked like he was worried, angry, and anxious all at once. When you started to wake up, he just walked out of the room, even though he had been here almost all night.”

“When I started to wake up!?” I repeated, puzzled.

“Yes…uh, he probably doesn’t want to see you right now.”

“…”

“I think he might be…”

“Angry enough not to want to see you, but also worried enough not to leave you alone.”

“Yes.” Now I felt fully guilty. Here he was, worried about me, and yet I lied and caused him trouble. If he hadn’t come to help last night…I don’t even want to think about what state I’d be in now.

I really was too shallow with thoughts like, ‘It’s just this, it’ll be fine.’

My heart wanted to see Phii Joe right now, to apologize and thank him, but another part of me was still too afraid to face him. He must be really angry, and from what Auntie Da said earlier, it seems like Phii Joe himself might not want to see me yet!

“Sorry, but have you seen my phone?” I asked, suddenly remembering. I didn’t go back to my room last night, Ter must be worried sick by now…but my phone, that damn Day took it.

“Here it is.” Said Auntie Da, handing me my phone.

I got my phone back, huh?

It was in pretty bad shape, clearly dropped rather than thrown like last time.

“Then I’ll go prepare some food for you.” Auntie Da said before getting up and leaving the room. Once alone, I immediately dialed Ter.

(Chill out) why does he sound so cheerful?

“Ter”

(What’s up?)

   “You…aren’t mad at me?”

(Mad for what? Though I might be a bit annoyed you left me.)

   “Huh? Annoyed?”

(Yeah, why?)

   “Explain.”

(Annoyed because you ditched me to stay with Phii Joe last night, obviously. You say it means nothing, but hey, you didn’t even tell me you were going to sleep over there. I’m sinking, my ship sailing away again.)

“…”

Doesn’t Ter know…

   “Did Phii Joe tell you that?”

(Yeah. At first, when I saw you come back later than usual, I was worried. I almost went looking for you. But Phii Joe told me you stayed with him. Wow, you’re not just anyone, are you?)

   “…”

(What, why are you silent?)

   “…”

(North, are you still there?)

   “You.”

(What?)

   “I…I’m sorry.”

(Sorry for what? It’s just this, I was just a bit annoyed, it’ll pass.)

   “It’s not about that.”

(Oh? Then what for?)

   “Sorry for not listening to you about working at the bar, even though you were worried.”

(…)

   “Sorry for making you worry.”

(North…are you okay? Did something happen? Should I come over?)

   “I’m fine, I’m okay.”

(Are you sure? Who did this to you? Is Phii Joe there with you?)

   “He’s not here.”

(North)

   “…”

“Uh, there’s a lot of stuff…”

(Tell me, I’m free to listen all day.)

   …

(Damn, that bastard, I’m going to kill him. How could he do this? Did he come with people because he thought he couldn’t take you on by himself, so he brought friends? How could someone this evil be so close to you? This is insane, I’ve only seen stuff like this on the news, never thought someone close would get hurt.)

   “Yeah, I thought the same. I didn’t expect there to be someone still in the shop when I was looking for my phone. And aren’t you mad at me?”

(Mad? Yeah, I’m mad that you’re careless, don’t look after yourself, don’t listen to others, but what happened was because of that bastard guy, right? You’re the victim here, man. You’re not to blame. Don’t blame yourself for that, and as for that bar, you should stop working there altogether.)

   “Stop, who would continue working there?”

(And what about the guy who hurt you? Have you reported it to the police?)

   “I don’t know about that.”

(Phii Joe must have taken care of it. When you said Phii Johan would handle it, I felt relieved somehow, probably because last time he took care of everything for you. If Phii Joe hadn’t gone to help you, I don’t even want to think about what state you’d be in now. Learn to look after yourself a bit, will you? Have you thanked him? Sorry for all the trouble he had to go through because of you.)

   “Not yet, Phii Joe left the room. Auntie said he left before I woke up, probably doesn’t want to see me yet.”

(Why?)

   “He’s angry. Auntie said he was very angry, a kind of anger she’s never seen even though she’s been taking care of him for years.”

(He’s angry?)

   (But isn’t he angry because he’s worried?)

   …

(…)

   “Fuck.”

“You bastard.”

(Shy, huh?)

   “Yeah, I guess. Listening to you, I feel really guilty, he knew I was sneaking off to work.”

(Knew but pretended not to?)

   “Probably.”

(But he still cared for you, and had someone keep an eye on you.)

   “Someone was watching me?”

(Otherwise, how could he have helped you so quickly? Maybe even quicker if you hadn’t been inside the bar. He must have been waiting outside since the bar was closed.)

   “…”

“Why is he so good to me?” I said with a sigh.

(He’s really good to you, in many ways, ever since you got drunk. Don’t say that, in my opinion, if Phii Johan does so much for you, and you still say it means nothing. You might be a bit cold-hearted, huh?)

   “I didn’t say it means nothing anymore…”

“I told you, I’m not a complicated person. Seriously, how could anyone not like someone who’s this good to them?”

(So you’ve opened up a bit, huh?)

   “Yeah, I have.”

(Really?)

   “Yes.”

(Shy, you bastard, my ship, oh, it’s sailing backwards, all the rowboats and canoes of mine are nothing compared to your yacht, I’ll crash into all the other ships, just watch, fans or fan clubs or whatever, I’ll make a vinyl banner with your and Phii Joe’s picture stuck right at the front of the university, so everyone knows whose ship is the biggest.)

   “I don’t have a picture with Phii Joe.”

(Just use Photoshop.)

   “Ter, you’re really something.”

(Chill out, man. Your friend’s about to get a boyfriend. Shabu, Bingsu, Korean BBQ, pick one!)

   “You’re paying?”

(Crazy, if he’s rich, let your boyfriend pay for you.)

   “What boyfriend? Chill out.”

(Come on, you said you liked Phii Joe.)

   “But we’re not at that stage yet, right? You need to calm down first.”

(Why not just date and get it over with?)

   “Too fast. I’ve said I’m open to it. If he keeps being this good to me, he’ll keep earning my affection this way. But, okay, it’s super self-centered of me to think like this if in the end he says he doesn’t feel the same way.”

(He doesn’t feel anything but acts like this? Wow, what a life. And he has stopped talking to other people too.)

   “Enough, enough, let’s stop talking about this.” I quickly told the other person to stop. At first, when I said I didn’t feel anything towards Phii Joe, I really didn’t, but now I admit I do, and talking about it makes me embarrassed.

(Okay, seriously, I’ve never seen you embarrassed with anyone. He’s the first one to make a move, right? Go talk to him soon, you can show up even if you look like a dog.)

   “What do you mean by looking like a dog?”

(A droopy dog, for sure.)

   “Huh, but Phii Johan doesn’t want to see me yet.”

(Then go apologize. He left before you woke up because he didn’t want to see you, afraid he might lose his temper and hit you or something.)

   “He’d hit me? Why so harsh?”

(Just kidding. He wouldn’t do that, but it’s up to you. You can wait for him to cool down if you want.)

   “Better not, I feel like I shouldn’t do that. I’ll ask Auntie to find him instead.”

(Am I thinking too much, or do you really care about him?)

   “Of course I care, what kind of person do you think I am?” I furrowed my brows in question. I’m not someone who doesn’t care about anything at all; I just choose who to care about, and Phii Johan has been good to me, so I’ll be good to him too.

(Not afraid anymore?)

   “I’m afraid, but you know, I don’t know, I want to go find him. Now.”

(Okay, good job, North, make sure to tell me you’ve made it back alive.)

   “Don’t jinx it like that, okay, see you.”

(Yeah, bye.)

   “Bye.”

I hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. Talking to Ter made me feel much better. After a while, Aunt Da brought in a tray of food.

“Aunt Da, I have a small request. I’d like to see Phii Johan.” I said, causing her eyebrows to raise slightly in surprise.

“Uh…maybe it’s not a good idea. It’s not wise to meet the young master when he’s angry, especially not now.”

“Is that so?” I said, looking slightly disappointed.

“Normally, everyone in the house avoids bothering him when he’s in a bad mood. Especially now…it was very stressful for me watching over you last night. The atmosphere in the room was so tense, I almost got a migraine.”

“It’s okay. I want to talk. Where is Phii Joe now?”

“He should be in his room, I guess.”

“Can you tell me how to get there?”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.” After talking with Aunt Da for a while, it seemed she was really concerned about me going to see Phii Johan. Her warnings made all my mustered courage vanish.

I stopped in front of the door; it was the only room on the top floor of the house because Phii Johan didn’t like being disturbed. I took a deep breath to gather my courage once more and knocked on the door.

“Phii Joe.” I called out.

“…”

No response.

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 11 part 2

   (Holy shit! And how did it go?)

   “I explained everything.”

(What?)

   “From when Ja asked to get back together, asked about Temp, I asked you, and then told Phii Johan that you told me everything.”

(That’s perfect.)

   “Will there be any consequences for me saying you told me?”

(No, he already knew I might tell you. When we talked, I promised I wouldn’t tell you if you didn’t ask, but if you did ask, I had to tell because you might threaten me.)

   “And what did Phii Joe say?”

(Nothing much, but the one who made you find out about this is going to be in trouble.)

   “The one who made me know, is it Ja?”

(Yeah, say goodbye to your ex then.)

   “Really?” I raised my eyebrow, puzzled. “What are you going to do to Ja?”

(Don’t know, but thinking about her trying to get back together with you, what do you think?)

   “…” I sensed another disaster coming. “Really? But that’s a woman, should I do something?” (I suggest you don’t. If he knows you still care, it’ll be worse for you.)

   “Sua, I’m scared, man.”

(You should be. Be careful with what you do. Not just for yourself, but for others too. Didn’t you just warn her?) Tiger said, but his tone was far from troubled, unlike me whose heart was now in the pit of my stomach.

“If it were you, and Nao’s ex came back to get back together, what would you do?”

(Hmm…just thinking about it makes me mad.)

   “Would he get mad like you?”

(You’re the one who talks to Phii Johan. You should know.)

   “I guess I have an idea.”

(So, would he get mad?)

   “Really angry, finally, they even hung up on me in a hurry.”

(What did they hang up to do?)

   “…”

“Don’t want it, don’t threaten me like this.”

(Not threatening)

   “Then you think…”

(At this point, your ex might still be fine, huh?)

  

@SOUL OUT!

   “You are here, little one.” As soon as I walked into the shop, Phii Day, who is also one of the employees at Soul Out, immediately came over to greet me. I made a displeased face in response to that greeting.

“Not small.”

“Then I’ll call you short.”

“Not short.” I argued. “Then I’ll call you small. You are small.” Phii Day said, ruffling my hair with his hand. What’s with playing with my head? It started with Phii Tharn.

“I’m not a dog, you know.” I said, making a grumpy face. Phii Day started working here around the same time as me. I heard from Phii Pan that Day’s family is quite well-off. He has no money trouble, but he has to work because Phii Day doesn’t behave very well, so his father made him work on his own for once.

And Phii Day…

He started flirting with me right from the first days at work, saying something about being drawn to me, the more he knew me, the more he liked me. And of course, I outright rejected him, suggesting we should be like siblings instead.

I’m not sure how well Phii Day understands the term ‘Phii-Nong’…

“Didn’t see you for a day, I missed you.”

“Well, I don’t come to work at the shop every day.”

“You work in many places, right?”

“Yes”

“Then should I follow along and do it with you?”

“No need to go that far.” I said before turning towards Phii Pan who was just walking in, “Oh, Phii Pan, you’re late today.”

“Just a little, is the shop ready to open? Or are you just standing here flirting?”

“This one doesn’t even grant me a little flirting.” Phii Day said, playfully pushing my head. “Are we not getting along or what?” I sighed, this guy is so open, stubborn too, damn it. I don’t like it.

   “I’ll go help in the kitchen.” I said, heading into the kitchen. There wasn’t anything to do there, but it was better than being teased out there.

“Are you upset with me?” Phii Pan followed me into the kitchen, “I was just teasing a bit.” “No, Phii. I’m fine, but I’m not into Phii Day. I don’t want to give him hope, so please don’t tease me, or else Phii Day might get the wrong idea.” I explained.

“Sorry, I got carried away. So, have you already rejected him?”

“Yes.”

“What did you say?”

“I said it’s better to be Phii-Nong.”

“Day is good-looking, comes from a good background, and seems to really like you. Why not give it a try?”

“No.” I shook my head slightly, “Are you cheering for me and Phii Day, Phii Pan?”

“Not really, just asking. Actually, Day doesn’t have the best reputation, or else his father wouldn’t have sent him to work here.” Phii Pan added, “Fights, women, drinking, smoking, bad friends, stuff like that.”

“Oh. I already wasn’t interested.” I said before turning to do something else. Another reason I felt uncomfortable was because Phii Day liked to be touchy-feely, patting my head was one thing, but later he started touching here and there, holding hands, pinching my cheeks, my lips. So, I tried to avoid being too close to him.

After ‘Sua’ threatened me about Phii Joe, I rushed out of the dorm to get to work, fearing I’d be late. I was still a bit worried, but Phii Johan isn’t that cruel, surely. That was just a woman, and Tiger might have exaggerated his threat out of spite because I had been threatening him for a while.

Once the shop opened, customers started trickling in. I did my usual work, with the added caution of avoiding Day, making life a bit tougher.

“Little one, take the order for table three.” Day shouted. I hurried over to table three. As we passed each other, Day unexpectedly pinched my cheek.

“Hey, Phii!”

“Surprised?” “Quite surprised, what are you doing?”

“Angry? Your face is all messed up. It’s because your cheeks are soft, I just can’t help but want to squeeze them.”

“No thanks, Phii.”

“Oh, oh.” before he could ruffle my hair again, this time I dodged in time.

“Let’s go clear the tables.” I said. Day gave me a playful smile as if to humor me before walking off to clear the tables. Seriously, I meant it when I told him to go. Not to hide my embarrassment.

“You seem really annoyed.” Phii Pan teased me when I went to sit near the counter.

“I’m not really okay with it. Does it count as harassment?”

“I don’t know, but if he grabs your butt, it’s definitely harassment.”

“Let’s not go that far, please.”

“You really don’t like this, huh?”

“Exactly. Who would like that?” I said, making an annoyed face. Seeing Phii Day standing there chatting playfully with customers, he really has such a good disposition, “I’ve made it clear, I’ve shown it clearly that I don’t like it. This touching is too much.”

“He’s persistent, this type is scary.”

“Why does he have to like me, anyway?” I bit my lip. There are so many people, why me?

“Because you’re cute.”

“Phii Pan, when you compliment like that, I get embarrassed.”

“Phhht! Oops, sorry, I wasn’t complimenting. Just thought you’re quite cute, your personality too, talking to you feels comfortable. Anyone would like being around you.” Phii Pan said. I raised my eyebrows and gave her a mischievous smile.

“Of course. I talk to myself, and even I feel comfortable.” “Annoying, who would talk to themselves?” But many people have told me this, that talking to me feels comfortable. Not stressful, can be playful or teasing, because I don’t get mad easily, which is good. Even now, being alone, I feel super comfortable.

Ding!

Notification sound…

Now that I’m free, I picked up my phone to check it.

Tg.: sends picture

   Tg.: So cute

   Oh wow…You even take and send a picture of Nao sleeping? And the picture is super blurry.

North♣: You send this even though it’s this blurry, Sua.

   Tg.: Cute. I won’t let you see it clearly, I’m jealous.

   Tg.:. I don’t want you to see it, but I want to show off how cute he is.

   North♣: Seriously, you look like a psycho, taking pictures while someone’s asleep.

   Tg.: Just admit you’re jealous.

   Tg.: Your house doesn’t have a Duennao anyway.

   North♣: What the hell, LOL.

   North♣: My house doesn’t need one of those.

   I’m stressed out. This guy Tiger is such a show-off, loves to boast, spouts nonsense. Not many people know about this situation, so he can only brag to a few, and he often brags to me about how cute Nao is (whom I don’t have access to).

North♣: So, in summary, you’re messing with me, aren’t you?

   Tg.: Messing with what? I’m not messing with you.

   Tg.: I’m serious.

   North♣: Are you like the national champion of messing around, four-time winner?

   Tg.: Well, I’m messing with you then. Not threatening though.

   North♣: Wow, that’s not threatening, but Tiger, I asked if you think I am still safe or not?

   Tg.:. Let’s wait and see. I know him better than you do.

   Tg.: I mean, I know his bad side.

   North♣: Because you’re bad yourself.

   Tg.: Not as cool as you.

   North♣: So, he really likes me?

   Tg.: Asking again for what? You’re off-topic, asshole

   North♣: Off-topic about what?

   Tg.: The point is the cuteness of Duennao.

   Tg.: Don’t bring up irrelevant matters.

   North♣: Phhht. You’re the one being irrelevant.

   North♣: Since you’ve messaged me, give me some advice.

   Tg.: Nope.

   Tg.: I’m leaving now, bye.

   North♣: Wait, listen to me, I’m feeling really uncomfortable right now.

   Tg.: Is his name Duennao?

   North♣: No, why?

   Tg.: Then don’t call me ‘Tiger’.

   North♣: Can’t I even do a little?

   North: I seriously don’t know what to do anymore. There’s this senior who works part-time with me, he started flirting with me, and I’ve rejected him, but he keeps buying stuff, recently he’s been getting physically close, and I’ve told him I don’t like it, but he won’t stop.

   North♣: What should I do?

   Tg.: It’s not complicated.

   Tg.: Tell Phii Joe.

   North♣: Funny.

   Tg.: I’m serious. What can you do? Or just quit, that’s all.

   North♣: Come on. Don’t you have any good advice?

   Tg.: Tell Phii Joe, that’s it.

   North♣:. No, tell him.

   Tg.: Then keep feeling uncomfortable.

   Tg:: sends picture

   Tg.: So cute

   North♣: …

   Is my friend this obsessed? I guess I might need to take him for a brain check to see if there’s anything else in his head besides Nao.

Sighing deeply, “Stressed out by this too?” Phii Pan asked immediately after I put my phone back in my pocket.

“It’s my friend’s nonsense, it’s giving me a migraine.” I answered, shaking my head slightly. “How much can one person like someone else, Phi?”

“Hmm, strange question.”

“I’m just wondering, my friend likes someone so much it’s almost like his whole life.” I said, thinking about Tiger, “What makes someone like that?”

“Well, they just like them. There’s nothing to it, liking is liking, I’ve been there too.”

“Really. I’ve liked someone too, but never to that extent.”

“Liking them, you like their face, their voice, their character, their words, their thoughts, their gestures, their actions, you like everything about them. It’s like this person was born for you to like, they’re the epitome of more than just a spec.”

“Oh, I understand now.” I nodded, indicating I understood. I’ve heard of the term “more than a spec” before, but never really got it. I’ve never met someone like that, nor thought I’d be like that for someone else.

“Go help Day clear the tables, don’t just stand there pretending to work.”

“Oh, is this pretending to work? I’m not even sure if I’ll get paid.” I teased.

“Chain would definitely cry if he heard that.” Said Phii Pan. I chuckled a bit before going to help out.

I wearily took off the apron from the shop; today was unusually busy, so we closed later than usual. The other employees were equally exhausted. Now we were in the process of cleaning up the shop.

“It’s good when there are so many customers.” Phii Day remarked as we were sweeping the floor.

“But the salary stays the same, Phii.” I said.

“Then you’ll have to stay with us longer.”

“Oh, the gold-dropping house is selling now?” I teased, and Phii Day dropped another one on me, that must’ve been the hundredth time today.

“Keep dropping until you soften up.”

“Phii…”

“If you don’t soften up, I’ll force you to.”

“Phii!” I said, shaking my head slightly before quickly walking away, what’s with him anyway? After a while, he finished packing up the shop. I went into the staff storage room to gather my things to head home, knowing I’d be in deep trouble if Ter caught me leaving this late.

“I’m heading out, see you.” Phii Pan popped her head in to say goodbye. I nodded and smiled back, everyone else had already left. I was the only one still here.

Where did my phone go… It was just in my pocket!

I emptied out my bag, checked under the table, at Ter’s counter, in the bathroom shelves, searched all over the store, but still couldn’t find it.

“Damn it.” I muttered in frustration, where could it have gone? I always keep it in my pants pocket. If someone else picked it up, that’d be disastrous, especially since it was a gift from Phii Joe. If Phii Johan found out I lost something he gave me, he’d be furious all over again. Just the thought of him being angry was terrifying enough.

Oh my God, where could it be!!

Why does it have to go missing when everyone’s gone home? The shop closed, and it’s so dark, it’s super creepy.

“Hey.”

“Whoa, Phii Day.” I called out to the person who just appeared. I thought you had already left, “You haven’t gone home yet?”

“Nah, what about you?”

“My phone’s gone missing, dunno how.” I said, pouting in annoyance.

“This it?” Phii Day held up my phone, smirking, waving it like he planned this all along.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s mine, how did it end up with you?”

“You didn’t take care of your stuff, did you?”

“Did I drop it? Thanks for picking it up.” I sighed in relief, thinking I’d never find it.

“No good?”

“Give it back.”

“Come get it then.”

“Are you messing with me?” I furrowed my brow, wondering if this was some kind of game, especially now that it was just me and Phii Day. I was starting to lose trust, but since he didn’t seem ready to give it back easily, I had to approach him.

I reached out to grab my phone from his hand, but Phii Day dodged.

“Phii, I’m not playing, I’m going home.” I said, not in the best mood. Phii Day still wouldn’t give me back my phone, dodging here and there.

“I’m not playing either.”

Suddenly, Phii Day pulled me in, one hand gripping my neck, the other arm locking around my waist, and he pressed his lips hard against mine, making me jump. His hot tongue invaded my mouth without permission.

!!!

“What the hell are you doing!” I pushed him away in shock, then threw a fullforce punch at Phii Day’s face.

Damn…what disgusting trash.

   “Is this too much?” I shouted angrily, while Phii Day, unfazed by the punch, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, then smirked again.

Forget the phone!

I immediately spun around and ran out of there.

!!!

What now!!

Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind, and no matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t get free. When I saw Phii Day approaching, my heart sank. What now, what are you going to do?

“Phii Day, not like this.”

“Scared?”

“No, I just don’t like you. Do you really have to go this far?”

“You keep saying you don’t like me.” I kept struggling to break free, too focused on the person in front of me to notice someone else coming from the side.

“Ugh!!” I cried out as something hard struck my stomach.

Sore…

I felt so sore I doubled over, but there was nothing I could do; the pain spread to my chest. I grimaced in pain, and then the guy walked over to Phii Day, holding a PVC pipe. Did he just hit me with that?

“Don’t be too harsh.” Phii Day said, turning to look at the newcomer.

I didn’t recognize this bastard at all.

“Fighting, women, booze, cigarettes, hanging with the wrong crowd, that sort of thing.”

Phii Pan’s words echoed in my mind. So this must be his friend then.

I started to feel more scared, my stomach churning with fear. Who wouldn’t be scared in this situation? It was weird; there were two strangers and one utterly untrustworthy guy, I was almost immobilized, and that hit from earlier was not gentle at all. Damn it. I shouldn’t have been looking for my phone while everyone else had already left; it gets so deserted here at night.

Why do I have to go through this?

“Why are you making that face? Scared of me? If you had just let me hit on you from the start, we’d be done by now.” Phii Day said. I stared at him without blinking, yes, scared and angry. “I told you if you don’t give in, I will rape you.”

“…” I wanted to shout again, but just breathing in made my chest hurt.

“Day, you want to go first?”

“I’ll go first. You guys can follow.”

“Get away from me, you bastards.”

“Hey, are you fighting with your future husband?” the guy said, swinging the pipe again, hitting my stomach once more. “Ough!!” I clenched my teeth against the rising pain, my legs weakening to the point where I could barely stand, but the one holding me didn’t let me fall.

Damn it.

It hurt.

And I was scared.

I’m done…

The next thing I knew, I was released, but my legs had no strength to stand, so I collapsed without warning. I instinctively clutched my stomach with both arms due to the pain, and with great difficulty, I glanced up because now my consciousness was nearly gone.

What?

I can’t see clearly.

The noisy sounds grew so loud that I couldn’t grasp what was being said. It sounded like Day and his friends were yelling, there were other voices too, and it seemed like people were arguing.

Damn it, I’m about to pass out…

Soon, all the noise calmed down. After a while, it seemed like someone was approaching; the sound of car tires screeching on the road hurt my ears until the engine cut off. Someone must be coming over.

“It’s all taken care of, Young Master.”

“Um.”

“What should we do next?”

“…”

Footsteps approached and stopped near me. I tried to lift my head to look. Even though I couldn’t see clearly, I knew who it was.

“Phii Joe…”

The other person crouched down in front of me. “I told you not to come work here, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.” I could only manage a soft response due to lack of strength, and the person in front of me didn’t say anything more. He just reached out to hold me, as if trying to help me up.

“Ugh, I’m okay, Phii.” I said before gently pushing his hand away.

“I can get up.”

“North.”

“Don’t be stubborn with me.”

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 11 part 1

   Chapter 11: Whatever It Takes

   “North, why aren’t you responding to my messages?”

As soon as Ter opened the door and came in, he started complaining just as I expected. I glanced up at him with a calm expression, hands clasped on the table with my phone in front of me, “I’m not going to respond to your messages anymore.”

“What’s up with you?” Ter asked, confused, as he threw his bag onto the bed, “You look stressed, is it because of Ja?”

“…”

“Yeah, it’s that.”

“Tell me quickly then.” He sat down next to me.

“I already told you.”

“Huh? Already told me what?”

“In the chat.”

“Are you crazy? You didn’t reply at all. “

“I did reply. Tell me what I replied to you. “

“Huh? What are you talking about? “

“Tell me what I replied to you. It wasn’t a wrong chat.” Damn it! I sighed again, realizing I had replied to the wrong chat, I had accidentally sent the response to Phii Johan instead of Ter. I then turned off the internet, trying to convince myself it wasn’t a mistake. But when the other side only replied with a question mark, I got goosebumps. I don’t know what he might reply with now.

“Did you reply to the wrong chat? Whose chat? “

“Yours. Why did you send so many messages? It happened just as Phii Joe texted me, so I clicked the wrong one without looking. “ “Oh, so what did you reply to Phii Joe? “

“Yeah. She came to ask for forgiveness, are you happy now? “

“Oh…Wait, did Ja ask for forgiveness?” It seems like Ter was more focused on Ja’s matter.” Did you reject her? “

“Yeah, I rejected her. “

“What did she say? “

“At first, she said she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to start anew with me. “

“Bastard, start anew what? After doing that to my friend, no way. You shouldn’t have met her. “

“She was waiting right under the faculty.” I said.

“That’s too much, how could she do that? Will she stop now? What if she keeps following you around? “

“We’ll see.” Right now, I need to think about the wrong chat reply first. I haven’t replied to Phii Joe for almost ten minutes now, and soon I’ll have to get ready to go to work at the bar.

“Wait, you said you replied to the wrong chat. Did you tell Phii Johan that your ex came to ask for forgiveness? “

“Yes. “

“Disaster. “

“Yeah…I’m scared of the LINE notifications, so I turned off the internet. “

“Bastard, just running away from the problem.” Ter said, laughing. What’s so funny? It’s not funny at all.

“But why are you scared? “

“It’s scary…really.” I turned to tell him. Ter furrowed his brow, looking at me with confusion, “Why make that face?” “It’s just that I sent it to the wrong chat. Why? If he likes you and you said that, he’d definitely be angry, or has he told you he likes you?”

“…”

“Why are you silent?”

“Can I tell you?” I paused to consider whether to tell Ter about Phii Temp’s situation. Tiger didn’t seem keen on others knowing, but it should be fine, right? Ter’s good at keeping secrets, and even if he knows, it wouldn’t matter much.

“You’ve come this far, tell me.”

“Well…” And then I recounted everything from Jaw coming to see me to the story involving Tiger and Phii Johan.

“Oh…so your friend named Tiger likes Nao?”

Oh, damn.

Tiger, I’m sorry…T^T

“This is a national secret, keep it shut. If Tiger finds out I told you, he’ll kill me for sure.”

“I’m not like you, always letting secrets slip. I won’t tell anyone, I don’t even know Tiger, I only know Nao.”

“Wait, the main point is Phii Joe.” Ter said as if just remembering, “Shit, oh my god, he likes you, Phii Joe likes you, damn, I paired you up myself, finally!” Standing up with exaggerated excitement.

“Why are you so excited?”

“Oh come on, my ship, you idiot, my ship, that’s why. You’re the only one left. How do you feel about it?”

“Me? I already said I don’t.”

“You’re crushing my dreams here.” Ter immediately looked disappointed at me, “Don’t you feel anything, even just a little bit?”

“No.” I shook my head. “Feel sorry for him, won’t you?”

“Feel sorry for me first.”

“But that’s harsh. To the point of getting Temp’s dad transferred. And making Temp not want to stay here anymore. You can see how tough Phii Johan is, but didn’t know it was to that extent. You really feel nothing, with someone protecting you like this?”

“Huh…you’re serious?”

“Well…?”

Cringe…

I’m embarrassed.

“Anyone would feel good if someone stood up for them, right?”

“Bastard, embarrassed on your behalf.” Said Ter, slapping my arm once to break the awkwardness, “You might not be there yet, but starting with this kind of good feeling is nice. Ugh, my heart, my heart. I can’t take it anymore, I’m going crazy with embarrassment.”

“…”

“You’re not into me at all.” Ter wailed again, “Yeah, and you’re not quick to respond either.”

“I’m too scared to respond.”

“Like how we dragged you back to the dorm last time, I’m running away first. If that happens again, I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too.”

“Scared to the point you won’t even open the chat, how cute.” Said Ter, gently ruffling my hair. “There, there, little dog.”

“I’m not a dog.” I turned to glare at him. “But you look like one, go look in the mirror, North, the droopy dog, scared to death. Pity, but the longer you don’t respond, the angrier he might get, right? I say, respond quickly.” “My debt will reach a million if it keeps going.”

“It might if he wants it to.”

“I can’t even afford to pay back a penny with what I have now.”

“You haven’t been making payments at all?”

“Ugh, I haven’t come to terms with it yet, losing money out of nowhere without getting anything.” I said, picking up my phone, taking a deep breath before opening Line to read:

Johan: Where are you?

   North♣: He came to make amends, satisfied now!

   Johan: ?

   Johan: Where are you?

   Johan: Forget it.

   Johan: Explain.

   Johan: Are you going to tell me here?

   Johan: Or should I come and pry your mouth open?

   Damn, for real…

Last message three minutes ago…

“Ter.” I called out softly to Ter, showing him the phone screen.

“Wow, I can feel the anger through the text.” Ter said, then gently rubbed his arm, “Explain quickly, and explain well.”

“Explain what?”

“Just tell the truth, that should be enough.”

North♣: I told you, didn’t I?

   Johan: Where have you been?

   North♣: To the bathroom.

   North♣: So, my ex came over.

   Incoming call from: Johan_’

   Whoa, does he not even wait for me to type because he has to call now? I was slightly startled by the notification sound before quickly answering.

“Yes?”

(Why did your ex come over?) The other person got straight to the point, his tone indicating he was very displeased…I’m actually scared…really scared. Ever since learning from Tiger, I’ve become ten times more afraid when he’s angry than I used to be, even though his anger is usually scary enough.

“She wanted to get back together.”

Phii Johan didn’t respond, as if waiting for me to continue.

“But I turned her down.”

(Isn’t she the one who got you into trouble with her boyfriend?)

   “Yes, that’s right.”

(And what did she say?)

   “Uh…well, she just broke up with her new boyfriend, and she wants to talk to me again, but I already turned her down.”

(I know. You told me.)

   Why am I starting to feel anxious? T^T

(Is there anything else?)

   “No, that’s all.”

(I’m asking if there’s anything else.)

   “Well, regarding her new boyfriend, that Temp I had a fight with, he’s going to be transferred with another friend. She asked if I knew about it. I said I didn’t know, and then she said she suspects it’s because of you…and that guy, Tiger.”

Oh, why so quiet? Feeling uneasy now…are you going to get even more upset over this? It seems like Tiger doesn’t really want me to know either.

(Continue the story.)

   “I went to ask Tiger.” (Okay.)

   “Yes, aren’t you going to ask what Tiger said?”

(That brat probably told you everything, right?)

   “Yes, he…”

Oh, he hung up.

“He hung up on me.” I turned and told Ter, before letting out a sigh, feeling completely nauseous, this is what it feels like to have trouble breathing, T^T.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing much. He just let me explain and then hung up, didn’t even let me finish my last sentence.”

“Didn’t he say he’s going to charge more or something like that?”

“He didn’t say that. Why would he charge? He came to me, I didn’t go to him at all, and I already turned him down.”

“I heard that one. You’ve told Phii Joe to reject it twice already.”

“Uh, why?”

“No ‘why’, it’s like you’re afraid he might get jealous, afraid he might misunderstand.”

“…”

“Fair enough, you’re right. Why do I have to keep repeating it so many times?”

“Well…if, as you said, he…likes me. If I get back together with Ja, wouldn’t he be angry?”

“Uh, and you’re afraid he’ll get angry.”

“Yeah, when he’s angry, it’s scary as hell.”

“This is called being cautious. So, as long as you owe him, you can’t talk to or date anyone else.” “Yeah, and what can I do about it?” I said with a sigh. What Ter said is probably true. I can avoid talking or dating anyone, at least for now. I’ve already said I’m not interested in romance.

“Isn’t that awkward?”

“Me? I’m fine with it.”

“Brilliant, it suits someone like you, others would be stressed to death. Or maybe not stressed, having someone like Phii Johan interested in you. You might feel lucky to be in debt instead. So, what’s your next move, now that you know he likes you?”

“…”

“Can you not talk like that?” I said, “It’s weird.”

“How is it weird?”

“It is weird, let’s just drop it. What am I supposed to do anyway?” Just let it be, whatever happens will happen.

From now on, I…don’t like him, but I don’t feel bad, and I actually feel a bit better because of what he’s done.

“Flirt a bit, like asking him to reduce the debt.”

“Screw that. No way.”

“By the way, do you know why he likes you?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, “That’s what I’ve been wondering about, but I’ve stopped wondering. Too lazy to think.”

“Oh, why did it end so easily? When Phii Hill said he liked me, I almost died thinking about it.”

“And did you figure it out?”

“No. In the end, I let Phii Hill tell me.” “You see, we still don’t know if he really likes me.” I said, thinking to myself. Someone like Phii Johan can’t be figured out, and there are rumors he’s quite the flirt, aren’t there?

“If he didn’t really like you, he wouldn’t have gone through all that trouble with Temp. It’s not easy to get someone like him transferred, you know.” Ter said.

“But if he could make someone like you like him, he must have put in considerable effort. That probably proves whether he really likes you or not.”

“You’re thinking on my behalf again.”

“Sometimes you don’t overthink enough.”

“With a debt of two hundred thousand and at risk of failing, I don’t want to think about anything else.” I said, sighing. Recently, I’ve been most afraid of failing. If I bring home an F, my mom will definitely give me a piece of her mind, and if she finds out about the two hundred thousand debt, I’m in for another lecture. But why are we talking about failing when the term just started? My mouth isn’t lucky, I guess.

“By the way, how did you end up dating Ja?”

“I courted her.”

“You? Why would you court her?”

“She’s cute.”

“You courted her because she’s cute?”

“Right, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing, just a simple reason, very you.” I nodded slightly to the other person. Yeah, I should ask Tiger about it.

North♣: Sua

   North♣: I have a sin to confess

   North♣: Please reduce the punishment by half

   Tg.: What’s wrong with you? Tg.: What heavy thing have you done with me?

   North♣: Can I call you?

   North♣: It’s a long story.

   Tg: What sin is this?

   Tg: You.

   Tg: Don’t tell me.

   North♣: Even NASA doesn’t know this secret.

   North♣: But my roommate knows now.

   North♣: LOL

   Tg: Asshole

   Incoming call from: Tg.

   “Speak.”

(You, oh fuck, who’s your roommate? I’m going to kill them to silence them.)

   “Calm down, I accidentally told them, and I accidentally told them about you too, but they won’t tell anyone, they’re good at keeping secrets, better than me.”

(Anyone is better than you. Sigh, can I talk to your roommate for a bit?)

   “Huh? Sure, but don’t threaten my roommate, their boyfriend is fierce.”

(Who?)

   “Phii Hill, do you know him?”

(Oh, the second-year med student, so I can’t threaten him then.)

   “Exactly, Ter, Tiger likes to talk to you.” I said, handing the phone to Ter.

“Put it on speaker.” Ter took it, looking confused.

“What?” Ter growled into the phone.

(Yeah…this is Tiger.)

   “Oh, uh, what’s up?”

(Don’t tell anyone, okay? About Duennao, do you know him?) “I know him, he’s North’s friend, he used to visit the room often. I won’t tell anyone. I am not the kind of asshole like North.”

“Damn.” What’s with the sudden insult?

   (Okay. Don’t be like him then. Are you Phii Hill’s boyfriend? Never met him, but I’ve heard the Star and Moon team talking about him, how could you be rooming with an asshole like North?)

   “They randomly assign roommates at the dorm. Do you know Phii Hill too?”

(I know, I’m the Moon of the Engineering Faculty, we met at the Star and Moon competition.)

   “Oh, Tiger from Engineering, I’ve heard of you too, in our faculty you are quite famous.”

(Famous for what?)

   “You are said to be very handsome, but a bit arrogant, cool and all that.” Outsiders think Tiger looks arrogant and cool, but let me tell you, if you see him when he’s deliriously calling for Duennao, the word ‘cool’ will vanish.

(Oh, don’t tell anyone about Nao, okay? Help shut that asshole North up too) oh, speaking nicely to Ter. Look at how he talks about me.

“Alright, alright, North didn’t mean to tell. He seems really worried about this.”

(Yeah, that’s right. Don’t want too many people knowing.)

   “And how did North find out?”

(He was eavesdropping on my conversation with a friend.)

   “Damn, what a scumbag.”

“Bastard.” I blurted out, then asked for my phone back from the other person, it seemed like they were done talking. “Feeling better now?”

(It’s fine, he seems like a good person. Shouldn’t be hanging out in the same room with you.) “Well, just a little slip-up, but Ter is trustworthy, that’s why I told him. With others, I’ll keep my mouth zipped tight.” I said confidently.

(Yeah. Otherwise, I’ll sew your mouth shut myself.)

   “Ouch, that’s harsh. But anyway, the point is, I replied to the wrong chat.”

(Whose chat?)

   “I replied to Phii Joe’s chat, saying she came to ask to get back together.”

(…)

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 10 part 2

“Are you still alive?”

“Yes.”

“Are you doing well?”

“I’m good.”

“Not drinking alcohol anymore?”

“No.”

“Dog looks down, you see, I told you.” Nao said as if he had been waiting to add insult to injury, “I knew it, how could you handle hearing ‘can we start anew’? It’s going nowhere.”

“So, she really wants to get back together?” Kyu asked.

“He said she wants to start anew.” Skater answered instead.” Start anew with the same person. “ “What the hell.” I said. “She still loves you? “

“No, she didn’t say that. “

“Then what’s it about? “

“Well…at first, she seemed worried about Temp, like she still had feelings, but then she said she wanted to talk to me, which confused me, the bastard. “

“Maybe he just wants to keep you as an option. “

“As a backup, because right now, she still can’t cut ties with Temp. “

“So you; my friend is going to be a backup? “

“What did you tell him? “

“I said it’s not going to happen, that this is better.” I answered as I had told Ja earlier.

“That’s pretty decisive. “

“But why are you looking so down? “

“Feeling shaken? “

“You; my friends, say a lot, but I’m tough. Otherwise, my liver would be the one getting hard. “

“You’re not drinking anymore, huh? “

“Last time you got drunk like a dog, you ended up with a boyfriend. “

“Shut up.” I cursed at Skater once before we talked a bit more and then parted ways. I headed straight back because there was nothing else to do at the university.

Easter: North

   Easter: Ja came looking for you!?

   Huh?

   North♣: How did you know that? So quickly.

   Easter: Skater told me.

   North♣: I told you. Good at talking too much.

   Easter: Why did you go then?!

   North♣: Nothing really. North♣: Hardly talked at all.

   Easter: Don’t hide it.

   Faster: Tell me, tell me.

   North♣: There’s absolutely nothing, man.

   North♣: Heard you’re studying?

   North♣: Just focus on your studies.

   Easter: No, I want to know, I can’t even study because of this.

   Easter: What did you talk about?

   Easter: Did she come to our faculty?

   Easter: What did she say?

   I decided to ignore Ter’s chat and instead scrolled to find Tiger’s chat. I’d explain everything to Ter when he gets back; it’s better that way. Speaking of chats, I haven’t talked to Phii Johan in almost a week. Probably because he’s been busy, as I’ve heard Ter complaining that Phii Hill hasn’t had time either. But even if he were free, why would he come to talk to me?

North♣: Tiger

   North♣: Are you free? Please respond.

   Less than ten minutes later, Tiger responded to the chat immediately.

Tg.: What?

   Tg.: I’m not free.

   Tg.: For you.

   North♣: Tiger

   North♣: I’m suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

   Tg.: Why?

   North♣: It’s like I’ve been holding someone’s secret for a long time.

   North♣: But I can’t keep it anymore.

   North♣: It’s suffocating. North♣: I think I need to tell you soon.

   Tg.: What’s so suffocating?

   Tg.: It’s not even your business.

   Tg.: Come on, what’s up?

   North♣: Can you call?

   Tg.: Sure.

   North♣: Nao.

   Tg.: I’m here.

   Tg.: I can go talk on the balcony.

   North♣: Okay, pick up.

   And with that, I quickly dialed Tiger.

(What’s up?) As soon as he picked up, he spoke with an annoyed tone, probably disturbed while spending time with his wife.

“I want to ask. “

(What?)

   “About those guys, Temp, that we had issues with. Did you do something about it?”

(…)

   “Why are you silent?”

(How did you find out?)

   “Ja, my ex, came to see me earlier. She told me about his boyfriend being transferred. At first, she hinted it was because of Phii Johan, but then your name slipped out too. The more I think about it, you’ve never let anyone who messed with Nao off the hook, have you? “

(Oh, so the one named Ja told you, huh?)

   “Oh, yeah, Ja said those guys told her to come ask me.”

(You should have asked him, not me.) “It’s easier to ask you.” I said from the heart. Asking Tiger seemed much simpler than trying to get something out of Phii Johan, who, besides not giving me an answer, might even curse me back.

(I’m too lazy to tell. Can I not tell it?)

   “That’s funny, just tell me.”

(When did you become so curious?)

   “Just curious, is it hard to tell?”

(Not hard. Just don’t want to. What should I do? I’m really not in the mood to tell.)

   “Tiger.” I lowered my voice to jokingly threaten him again.

(Heh, every time you call me that, you’re threatening me. I’ll give you the short version, don’t tell Nao, okay?)

   “Okay.”

(The day Nao came back to the room with a split lip and eyebrow, I was really pissed. No matter how much I tried to get it out of Nao, he wouldn’t say who did it, but honestly, it wasn’t hard to find out. I wanted the CCTV footage from that day, but when I went to the shop, they said someone had already bought it.)

   “…”

(It was your Phii Johan. So I had to go look for him.)

   “Go look for him? Do you know him too?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise while asking. Tiger never told me he had met him or knew him; he never showed any reaction when we talked about him.

(A little, I met him back when I used to race.)

   “You used to race too?”

(Back then, sometimes we’d run into each other at the track. Who wouldn’t remember a black Bugatti that beautiful?) “Have you ever raced against him?”

(Yeah, he’d call me a brat to my face, but he’s good, I’ve even ridden in his car before.)

   “You have?”

(He’s really good at drifting, truly top-notch.)

   “Yeah, really.” Phii Johan is really good at driving, even if he doesn’t know much about these things, but from my experience riding with him, whether in a car or on Ter’s bike, I can say he’s the best. The best, right to the edge of hell.

“And you didn’t say anything about knowing.

(Was it necessary?)

   “Huh. “

(Back to the point, when I went to confront him, he said it was already cleared up.)

   “Cleared up how? Aren’t you explaining this too briefly? “

(You’re being too nosy. Initially, I wanted the camera footage to force them out of the uni.)

   “Hey, but I started it that day. “

(That day was that day, I don’t mind, the issue was they wouldn’t end it. He said they had agreed to settle it. They broke their word.)

   “So, Temp got kicked out?”

(Yes.)

   “How did you know? “

(I just knew. And Tim too, he hit Nao first that day.)

   “Oh, so you dealt with Tim, and Temp was handled by Phii Joe? “

(Exactly.)

   “And about transferring them, how did you manage that? “

(They had a bad record, so it was easy. Are you satisfied now? Why all these questions?)

   “Just transferred? You didn’t do anything else, right?” I asked, secretly thinking there might be more to it. Judging by how scary Tiger can be when he’s angry.

(Uh, just a little hammer to his precious arm, I did.)

   “You did what? “

(The right arm, he used it to hit Nao eight times. Saw it on the camera.)

   “Shit…”

(If he’s right-handed, then he’s in for a rough life from now on.)

   “Damn. You, that’s too harsh, isn’t it?”

(Well, he did it to Nao first. He’ll get better soon.)

   “Ha, where does one grow an extra arm, huh, you tiger. You did that?”

(Grow what? I didn’t cut off his arm.)

   “Oh.”

(Just break it and it can heal. In a cast for a few months, but I didn’t do it like I would have because of the Temp issue. You’re wrong. You attacked first. If Temp had attacked first, he might have ended up in full-body casts.)

   “Enough, why do this?”

(Are you scared or what?)

   “Honestly…yeah, it’s scary, both of them.”

(Well, in my case, you’d call it great love.)

   “So, Nao got hit first? At first, Kyu said Nao hit Tim first.”

(No, no, he hit Nao first.)

   “Ah, you are looking out for him, but he doesn’t even know.”

(Hehe, and you, if no one tells you, you wouldn’t know.)

   “How would I know?”

(And have you realized you like him yet?)

   “What?”

(Phii Johan and you.)

   “What? I don’t.”

(You don’t, but the other one, he’s going crazy.)

   “…”

(Silent, are you embarrassed?)

   “Embarrassed about what?”

(Pretend you don’t know. You’re not stupid, are you, North? Seriously, if what I’m saying is true, would you still say he doesn’t have feelings for you?)

   “…”

(Answer me, you bastard.)

   “Yeah, yeah, I understand. So what, I…”

(Don’t like him?)

   “Yes. I haven’t thought about it. We’ve just met, and he’s never said he likes me or tried to court me. How could he like someone like me, that’s a whole other issue.” I said it according to my thoughts. It’s true what Tiger said…I’ve felt at times that there might be something, but as I’ve said, I don’t want to overthink it.” I don’t want to overthink, especially about love. “

(Right, someone like you. You don’t think about anything all day.)

   “Hey, now you’re insulting me. “

(But if he decides to make you think, you’ll be thinking all day for sure.)

   “How so? “

(I don’t know, just saying. Anyway, I’m off to hug my wife.)

   “You’ll just get kicked back by him. “

(Worth it. Oh, one more thing, I’m not that close or familiar with him, but I think you should be cautious. I’ve only told you this much, and you’re already saying he’s scary.)

   “Cautious about what? “

(Everything you can think of.)

   “So, you don’t know? “

(Yes, I don’t know, and I don’t care about you. I’m off, bye. And don’t tell anyone, including Ja, be careful.)

   “Careful about Ja?”

(Be careful with Phii Joe.)

   “Why? “

(Figure it out yourself.)

   “Ah, okay, okay. “

I kind of understand what Tiger is getting at. If Phii Johan really likes me…uh, why does saying it like this make me embarrassed? I feel like I’ve just swallowed a frog or something. It makes me look self-absorbed, doesn’t it? Yeah, that’s right. If he knew Jaw came to see me at the faculty, he probably wouldn’t be too pleased, judging by how he dealt with Temp’s situation…

   Does he really like me?

   And why would he like me?

   When I think about it like this, it just leads to more questions without answers. Better to go back to not thinking about it at all.

   Ding!

   Dong!

   Oh man, Ter! Why the barrage of messages now? Ever since I talked to Tiger. I quickly opened the chat, typed out a response to hopefully end it, so he’d stop messaging.

   North♣: Yeah. She wanted to get back together, are you happy now?!

   Johan: ?

   Damn.

   Wrong chat…

  

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 10 part 1

   Chapter 10: Only Fools Do What I Do

   Jaja: Hey

   Jaja: Are you free?

   Jaja: I’m stressed, you know

   Jaja: Can we talk?

   Jaja: Honestly, I’d rather meet you

   Jaja: I really want to hug you

   Jaja: Sorry, I’m typing without even thinking, haha

   Jaja: If you’re free, please reply. I don’t have anyone else to talk to anymore

   I furrowed my brows as I looked at the chat screen that had been sent to me about an hour ago, hesitating on how to reply. Why does it have to be now? Sending messages during class, who could concentrate on studying after this?

North♣: Sorry, I’m in class.

   Jaja: Sorry, sorry, I thought class was over.

   Jaja: What time do you finish?

   North♣: At 4 PM.

   Jaja: Okay, I’ll wait. Sorry for not informing you earlier.

   Jaja: I’ll wait for you under your faculty building.

   Jaja: Before I knew it, I was already here, haha.

   Jaja: Are you studying at your own faculty? If not, I’ll be waiting here for nothing, haha.

   “Shit.” I couldn’t help but exclaim when I read that she was waiting under the faculty building. Damn, she’s at another university, why is she here?

“What?” Duennao looked up to ask, irritated, as if I had disturbed his secret nap.

“Nothing. “

“Who are you chatting with now? Not paying attention in class. “

“Look at yourself first.” I said. Nao didn’t respond and just slumped back onto the desk to continue sleeping.

North♣: Still studying

   North♣: Is it urgent?

   Jaja: Not exactly, but I can’t take it anymore, haha.

   North♣: That big of an issue?

   Jaja: Big for me.

   Jaja: Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.

   Jaja: But I…

   Jaja: I really can’t handle it. ;(

   North♣: It’s okay, don’t worry, I’ll come down after class.

   North♣: You can wait at the coffee shop under the faculty.

   Jaja: Okay, see you there.

   After class, I packed my bag with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to see her. I really wasn’t ready to see her, especially since I had told Ter the other day that sometimes I still think about her. To say I feel nothing at all would be a lie. I do feel something, but I didn’t want to go back, so I didn’t want to see her either.

But if she’s waiting under the faculty like this, I guess I can’t avoid it. It seems urgent. If I had to guess, it might be something about her new boyfriend.

“Idiot.”

“Me?” I turned around at the sound of the insult from Skater.

“Is Je waiting for you downstairs?” Skater asked with a serious tone, furrowing his brows. When I told them that Jaw was waiting for me under the faculty, the three friends all made sour faces.

“Damn idiot, meeting her after her new boyfriend just hit you.”

“Seriously, I hit him first.” I said honestly.

“That’s because he did something wrong.” Nao added with another serious face, sounding quite displeased, “Do you think we’d let you go?”

“I know, but what can I do? She’s been waiting for a while now.”

“Just ignore her, when she left you, she didn’t think about it.”

“Nao, you need to chill. “

“How am I supposed to chill, you know how it was when you; my friend got drunk like a dog.” Nao turned to argue, looking quite heated right now. I understand, because I was really hurt, and all my friends, including Ter, felt the same. That’s why no one likes her at all.

“I don’t want to meet her either, but what am I supposed to do?” I said. She attends a different university, far away, and has been waiting for me for so long. It’s not right to tell her to go back. Just meeting her for a brief moment shouldn’t be a big deal.” It’s fine, just for a moment. “

“Why are you so stubborn? “

“Get it, you need to chill. “

“I should ask how you’re not upset, you bastard. “

“Because I’m calmer than you guys. I know you’re worried, but let North decide for himself. Even if he gets hurt, he’ll come back to lick his wounds eventually. “

“In the end, he’ll come back to us.” Kyu said.

“Come back to what, no, it’s over, I’m fine now. “

“Big talk.” Nao said.

“I really won’t go back, no matter what.” I reiterated what I had told them before.” I’m just going to see her. “

“Your body might not go back, but your feelings have already left, North. “

“Should we come along? “

“She’d be uncomfortable to death.” I said.

“Are you going to go anyway? “

“Oh come on, why the drama? “

“Then remember this, this woman left you to find someone better. No matter what happens, remember that. Don’t be soft-hearted. She chose what’s best for her. She chose someone better, and she’s decided that person isn’t you. “

“Woah, damn.” I exclaimed at Kyu’s words. He’d said this before, but it hits hard every time.” One sentence from you and I’m speechless. “

“I just want to emphasize, if you’re thinking of going back, think hard about whether this is the person you want to give your heart to again. “

“You’re talking like she’s going to ask for forgiveness.” I raised an eyebrow, puzzled. “What could she possibly want? Coming here to find you, because in the end, she realized you’re the one she can depend on. When she thinks like that, she’ll also think she shouldn’t have left you, especially when you loved her so much.”

“And if she wants to get back together, what will you do?” Nao asked me.

“Reject her outright.” Skater quickly answered, “Just reject her, don’t be an idiot and think about it.”

“I know.” I said.

“Yeah, let’s go, we’ll watch over you.” Duennao said, “Keep an eye on you.”

“It’s not necessary.”

“We’ll sit at another table, just in case something happens.”

“What could possibly happen?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see.”

I sat down in the chair opposite Ja, who was in her university uniform, one I’d only seen in photos before. She was already waiting for me at the coffee shop under the faculty. Some people from my faculty turned to look, probably because they were surprised to see someone from another university here.

“I’ve never seen you in this uniform before, it’s quite different.” Ja started the conversation to break the awkwardness between us. Come to think of it, we hadn’t seen each other since we graduated.

“Same.” I said because I had only dated Ja, and meeting an ex like this felt a bit awkward for me too.

“Did you cut your hair?” I asked.

“Yeah, I got tired of long hair. Not sure if it suits me. What do you think? Does it look strange?”

“No. Just not used to it.”

“Right. I’ve had long hair since high school. At first, it was a bit strange, but it’s nice, it dries quickly after washing.” “So, what’s up?” I brought the conversation to the main reason she came to see me.

“Ah…” She looked down, her hands clasped tightly on the table, her lips pressed together as if she didn’t really want to talk about it, “I…just broke up with Temp.”

I wasn’t really surprised.

“Really? Who initiated the breakup?”

“Temp, I guess. I don’t know, we fought. We fought a lot while we were together. Me and you never fought this intensely.”

I nodded in understanding. When we were together, we hardly ever fought, mainly because of my laid-back nature.

“What’s going on? “

“Temp is dating someone else. I caught him, just like you said, that we fought because I was angry that Temp cheated on me, right?” Ja looked up, her voice trembling as tears started to fall, her nose and cheeks turning red.

“I…I prayed it wasn’t true. I tried to believe what Temp said, that you were the one causing trouble even though he hadn’t done anything, hik. “

“Hik, hik, but I found out he really does have someone else. “

“I…hik. “

“Calm down.” I said, seeing her in distress. I reached out to hand her a tissue, which she took and quickly wiped her tears. Damn…these feelings of not wanting to see her cry, wanting to comfort her, to pamper her, can they just go away?

“Thank you. “

“For what? “

“For going and confronting him…for me. Thank you for protecting me. “

“…” “Um.” “…” “Forget it, just stop crying first. “ “Now that it’s like this, I keep thinking about you all the time. You took such good care of me, but I couldn’t keep you. “

Disaster…

Just like what Kyu said.

“Forget it, don’t talk about it.” I cut her off before she could say more.

“If you hadn’t broken up with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have come looking for me, right? “

Ja looked stunned after hearing my words, then sobbed even harder. I sneakily glanced at my good friends who had secretly followed to watch.

Only Kyu didn’t seem too bothered. Meanwhile, Nao and Skater looked furious. If they could, they would probably have dragged me out by the collar.

“I’m sorry. “

“It’s nothing, forget about it.” I repeated, “So the big thing you mentioned is breaking up with him?”

“Uh…there’s more…I, I want to forgive Temp, but the real reason for the breakup is that Temp has to move somewhere else. So my options are to break up or forgive and wait. Just forgiving is hard enough, and now I have to wait for Temp for several more years, but I still don’t want to let Temp go. So I’m really confused.”

“Move somewhere else?”

“Yeah, abroad, not sure where yet. It seems his dad is being transferred.”

“Ah…so he has to move too?”

“Not exactly, Temp said he doesn’t want to stay here anymore. He can’t stay anymore. I’m not sure what he means by that. We barely talked.”

What does ‘can’t stay anymore’ mean…

   And why do I have to listen to this Phii Temp s story?

   “So I wanted to ask you.” “Ask what?” “I actually went and asked Tim…Tem’s friend, who was in a fight with your group that day. Tim said he’s also affected, has to move but doesn’t know where, just knows it’s a different place from Temp. I’m confused about what’s really happening. Tim told me to ask you. I asked other friends, but no one told me anything. What’s going on? Do you know anything?”

“Uh…No. I don’t know at all.” I said, with a head full of conflicting thoughts. What’s going on, and why send you to ask me?

“Really? Not the person who helped you that day?”

“Huh?” I was taken by surprise.

Ah…

It could be.

If it’s Phii Johan, it’s possible.

But…

“…”

“Hey.”

“What are you spacing out for? Was it the person who came to help you?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know. “

“Uh, can you try asking him, Temp…I’m sorry, but Temp didn’t deserve to be transferred, isn’t that a bit too harsh? Especially since you started the trouble.”

“…”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. “

“It’s okay, it’s true. I started it. “

Didn’t you just thank me for protecting you?

   “Well, I’d like to ask you to help me find out, can you? “ “No.” “Oh, why? “ “If you find out who did it, what will you do? “ “Me?…I probably can’t do anything. “

“That’s right. So don’t find out. I can’t do anything about it either.” Yes. If it turns out to be Phii Johan, even if he wanted to send Temp off the planet, I couldn’t do anything about it. And honestly, I don’t really want to help; I’m not that good of a person.

“But…Temp isn’t that bad.” She started repeating herself like she was being petulant, which she always does when she doesn’t get what she wants. “It’s too cruel. When he didn’t do anything that bad.”

“How can you know for sure? Temp might have done something else you don’t know about. “

“…”

“No, I know everything, hik.”

“There’s nothing more to say, right?” I said, getting ready to stand up.

“No…no, hik, there’s more…” Jee interjected before I could leave. I had to sit back down.” Tiger…”

“Huh? “

“Tiger. Do you know someone named Tiger? He seems to study engineering here too.”

“Ah, yes, I know him, he’s my friend, why?”

“I overheard Temp and Tim talking about Tiger too, it seems there might be another issue if it involves Tiger. Could you try to find out if you can?” The person opposite me spoke before reaching for a tissue to wipe her tears again.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” I said, wondering how Tiger got involved in this.

Oh…

   Now I get it.

   Nao was also involved in the fight, so Tiger probably couldn’t stay out of it either.

   Why didn’t I think of that before?

   “Thanks.”

“Okay, is there anything else?”

“Thank you for listening to me.”

“No problem.” I said.

“When there’s no one left, I always have you.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for anything I did or said wrong. It was my fault. Would it be bad if I said I want to talk to you again, North? It might look bad, but I won’t have anyone else from now on. I’m sorry. Can we start anew? At least, let’s talk as friends.”

…

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 9 part 2

“Just let them be, sometimes the praise is over the top.” Seriously, in others’ eyes, Phii Johan might be handsome, rich, good at studying, and good at work, but for me, he’s just an incredibly self-centered, scolding, and threatening debtor. “If fans knew, they’d probably retreat in droves. Try having a girlfriend and treat her like he treats me, you’ll see how rare it is to find someone who can tolerate him.”

“Does Phii Joe know that you’re being talked about like this? “

“Yeah, forget it, stop thinking on my behalf, I haven’t even thought anything yet.” I said, wondering how to make it clear that I really wasn’t thinking about anything. I didn’t want Ter to blame Phii Joe; he did nothing wrong. I didn’t want them to have bad feelings towards each other, better to blame the person for being an idiot.

“Who’s coming? That white Benz is blindingly beautiful.” Phii Ya said, looking towards the shop front. Phii Hill had arrived to pick us up. So, Ter and I said goodbye to Phii Ya and got into Phii Hill’s car, with Ter sitting in the front passenger seat and me in the back.

“Why do your eyes look red?” Phii Hill’s first question made Ter jump, and indeed, there was no escaping his observant eyes.

“Uh, I was about to cry.” Ter said quietly.

“Why would you cry?”

“Phii Joe.”

“What did Joe do?” Phii Hill asked sharply, which made me jump in surprise. Don’t you dare, Ter, Phii Hill is scary when he’s angry, and you know it, T^T

“Phii Joe did something to North.”

“What did he do?” Phii Hill asked, looking at me through the rearview mirror.

“Ter, you…there’s nothing, Phii. Ter’s just overthinking.”

“What are you overthinking about? Can you tell me?” Why is Phii Hill’s voice so gentle now? Sigh, I’m melting into the seat.

“I was just scared that North would overthink because the page was posting really harsh stuff. It wasn’t like this when I was dating.” Ter finally spilled everything.

“Oh, the page posted pictures of Joe?”

“Yeah, with North, have you seen it yet?”

“Not yet, I’ll check it out.” Phii Hill said, letting go of the steering wheel with one hand to reach over and pat Ter’s head, “Don’t cry, brave one.”

Ugh…

   As for the page stuff, I wouldn’t cry over that.

   I’d cry out of jealousy, this couple is always sweet from start to finish, this kind of love is what’s really enviable.

   “Why are Phii Joe’s fans so intense?” Ter asked.

“Joe gives hope to everyone, that’s why.” Phii Hill answered, “But it’s calmed down a lot now.”

“True. If he’s still talking to others, he should stay away from my friend.”

Uh huh, Ter…

“Yes?”

And Phii Hill as well…

“So, do you think too much about it? “

“Oh. No, not at all. Didn’t think about it at all, Phii. “

“That’s good.” Phii Hill said only that before a beautiful car pulled up in front of the regular restaurant we often visit after work. Once we got to the table, we ordered food as usual. After a while, Phii Hill’s phone rang, seeming like someone was calling. Phii Hill glanced at the screen, sighed slightly, and excused himself to take the call.

…

(Hill. Have you picked him up yet?) “You called just to ask that? Normally, you’d just message me. “

(I’m working, too lazy to type.)

   “Didn’t you say you were taking a break? “

(It’s urgent. So, how did it go? Did you pick him up?)

   “Yes. “

(What are you eating today?)

   “Noodles, at the usual place.”

(What’s your heart made of, eating noodles every evening?)

   “He wanted to eat it. “

(Can’t say no to your wife, huh?)

   “Exactly. “

(Go eat something nice for a change, have some mercy on the money in my card.)

   “He won’t go, what can I do about it? Stop transferring money, you beast. “

(Hurry up and use it, when will the money run out if you keep eating just noodles?)

   “How can I spend it all? Buy him a car with that much money? “

(Go on, ask if he has a driver’s license yet.)

   “Funny.”

(Who’s funny? Ask, what model do you want? Not the big one, that’s dangerous.)

   “The kid probably knows how to drive.”

(Can you teach?)

   “A bit less, he’s good at spending money, that’s the only thing he’s good at.”

(You’re killing me, does your wife do laundry often?)

   “Yeah. Have you seen the page yet?”

(No, why?) “My boyfriend is going to cry because of you.”

(Huh, what did I do now?)

   “They posted your picture, probably you with him, imagine what your fans think.”

(…)

   (Damn it.)

   (And how is he now, okay?)

   “It looks okay, he’s not overthinking. It’s fine because he doesn’t think about you that way.”

(Ass.)

   “So what now, my boyfriend is overthinking instead.”

(I’ll handle it myself, the page admin likes to stir trouble, it’s annoying.)

   “What about the comments?”

(Yeah, I’ll deal with it.)

   “Plenty of girls in the lineup.”

(Working on it.)

   “Ter said not to mess with his friend if you’re still flirting with others.”

(Understood.)

   “So you have chosen him? “

(Yeah…I’ve chosen him for a long time.)

   “Good. “

“In your messed-up life, you should get serious about someone. “

(Yeah.)

   (Always scolding.)

   “Try being gentle sometimes, can you do that? “

(That’s my limit. That’s all I can do for now.) “What about the part-time job? Ter won’t even tell me that North has been secretly working. Seems like they really don’t want you to know. “

(Yeah. If they don’t want me to know, I won’t know.)

   “Should I get him to watch over things? “

(No, change it to dad’s underling instead.)

   “Sounds more believable to go and wreck a shop than to watch people. “

(If it can be done, it’s been done.)

   “Up to you then. “

(Don’t go telling your boyfriend.)

   “If I were to tell, I would have told him long ago. “

(Yeah, good person.)

   “Anything else? “

(Spend all the money.)

   “With this much money left, and you still have the audacity to dock his pay? The money in the card you gave me, it…”

(Use it quickly then.)

   “Um, I’m thinking.”

(What?)

   “Why do I have to go through all this trouble for someone like you?”

(The word ‘friend’ is the only thing keeping us together.)

   “End this.”

(No can do, I met your dad the other day.)

   “Why did you meet my dad?”

(To do business with your dad.)

   “So I can’t escape you, huh?”

(Got it.)

   “Sigh, fine, I’m leaving.” (Okay.)

   …

“North…Can I ask you something?” Phii Hill asked as soon as he sat back at the table. I, who was chewing a mouthful of meatballs, looked up at him.

“Yes?”

“Do you want anything right now?”

“What? Uh, want something, what do you mean?”

“Like a car, a house, a condo?”

“Wait, why would I want something like that?” I almost choked before quickly swallowing and responding, why ask something like this out of the blue?

“Nothing, just asking.” Phii Hill shook his head slightly before starting to eat the food he had just ordered, “Do you want to stop anywhere?”

“Can we stop at a bakery?” Ter asked.

“Sure, we can do that.” Phii Hill turned to give Ter a kind smile before asking me, “How about you, North?”

“No, thank you.” I said, feeling a bit shy. I didn’t feel like having sweets like Ter.

“Really? “

“Yes.” I nodded to confirm my answer. Not sure if I was imagining it, but Phii Hill seemed to want me to buy some snacks like Ter does, it’s happened several times.

It seemed like Phii Hill let out a small, exasperated sigh before looking up to ask me again.

“How’s it going with Joe’s debt? “

“Uh. It’s going well. I haven’t paid back a single baht yet.” I said with a forced smile.” Is he asking for it back? “

“No, and how are you counting this? “ “Phii Prang, the secretary, is the one handling the counting. Phii Johan just deducts. “

“Ah, I see. He probably doesn’t even remember how much North owes, does he? “

“Oh, is that so?” Two hundred thousand baht is nothing to him, T^T

“And about the deductions? “

“He deducts at every opportunity. Sometimes I don’t even know why he’s deducting. It’s like he wants the money, but at the same time, not really. “

“He doesn’t really want the money anyway.”

“Really?” I raised my eyebrows in response to his statement. Phii Hill didn’t reply and stood up to go pay the bill. I followed along with Ter.

“Hey, North, look at this. They shared it.” Ter nudged me and showed me his phone as we were walking back to the car.

—Shared Post

   Urgent Announcement! The Cute Boy page of our university is gone, including the admins’ personal Facebook accounts. No one knows the real reason (though we’re sure there’s something behind it). Right now, the admins are very upset because all the photos and good memories we’ve worked hard to create are gone. Not sure if we can recover them, but if we decide to create a new page or anything like that, we’ll let you know. Oh no, I can’t tweet about our husbands anymore.

   “The page is gone, this must be the karma from bad mouthing you.” Ter said. I just agreed with him. Starting a new page might be good. And if they’re smart, they’d change the admins too. Phii Pin is good, she’s nosy, always sneaking pictures, sometimes it’s just ridiculous.

“Phii Hill, that page is gone.” Ter told Phii Hill as soon as he got into the car.

“Really? “ “Wow, that’s great, the comments bashing North are gone too.” “That’s really good, isn’t it?” “But I don’t know how they disappeared.”

“Someone with money to spare probably paid someone to do it.”

“Hmm? That person must not like the page either.” Ter said, clearly relieved and happy, he’s been overthinking on my behalf and now he’s relieved for me too, you’re really a good person.

Once we got back to the dorm, I dropped my bag onto the table and flopped onto the bed as usual when I came home tired, and today was another tiring day.

“North, I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“What do you think about Phii Johan? You guys talk a lot, meet often, he picks you up and drops you off, you’ve slept together, he even lends you his clothes.”

“Why are you asking out of the blue? Usually, you’re just teasing.”

“Just asking, after what happened today, I’m not okay with it, it’s like you’re being attacked when you haven’t done anything.”

“You’re overthinking again.” I answered, shaking my head, “I don’t care about being bashed. What can they do to me?”

“And all the times I teased you, I didn’t tell anyone else, I just wanted to tease you a bit. You don’t overthink when I tease, right?” Ter said with a stressed face, furrowing his brows as if he might cry, here we go again, he’s quick to cry, why so sensitive about stuff like this? Well, I guess it’s a good trait to care about others’ feelings.

“Yeah, I don’t overthink. Even if you pair me up with some random person, I won’t get mad, okay? If you cry again, I’ll throw away your lens.”

“North, why are you so cute like this?”

“I’m not comforting you, go die.” “See, you’re making someone blush.” “Goosebumps, you animal.” I said, sighing. I really don’t like this kind of drama. “But Phii Johan isn’t involved with anyone anymore, you know. Maybe he likes you, picking you up and dropping you off like this, lending you clothes, giving you money. If he really does like you, what would you do?”

“…”

I paused for a moment, to be honest, there have been times when I’ve secretly thought about it. I mean, it’s natural to think about it with all these signs, but I’ve chosen to not pay much attention, just like with Phii Tharn’s case. I don’t want to find an answer. I don’t want to think about it and give myself a headache.

“I really don’t know. Honestly, I never really thought about it. “

“Why? “

“I truly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to overthink, I mean…I’ve just had my heart broken. You know, and I also don’t like cluttering my mind with too much. It’s not exactly that I’m not ready for someone, I just can’t explain it. “

“That’s very confusing. “

“Exactly. But if I really like someone and I’m sure about it, I’m not a complicated person. I’d be good to them, make them understand. “

“Romantic, huh? “

“Yeah, I’m that kind of romantic guy. But right now, it’s just day by day, I guess. Some days I still think about him. “

“North…”

“I know, I know, it’s not about anything else. Just when I think of him, it pops into my head, but it’s weird, as soon as I think of him, the next person I think about is Phii Johan. It’s like my mind is reminding me I’ve got this huge debt hanging over me, and it’s also a reminder that my big problems come from thinking about him too much, but I don’t blame him. “ “So right now, it’s…? “ “It’s what?” I repeated, not understanding. “Your heart, how is it? “

“I don’t want to think about it. Just letting it be. “

“Isn’t that too easy going? Someone else would be going crazy with worry, especially with someone like Phii Johan always hovering around. “

“Hovering? That’s an interesting choice of words.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“And the question I asked earlier. If Phii Johan likes you, what would you do? Do you have an answer now?” I furrowed my brows at Ter, why ask the same thing multiple times? Haven’t I given an answer already?

“Are you trying to stir things up again? “

“No, this one is serious. I want to know where my ship is heading. Will it sink or what? Is there even a chance, or are you not okay with it? “

“If he likes me? “

“Yeah. “

“Hmm…Well, I wouldn’t do anything, what am I supposed to do? “

“Sigh. I shouldn’t have asked you.” Ter said with a sigh, “So, what do you think Phii Joe thinks about you?”

“Should I have some sort of enlightenment about everything? Why do I have to be asked these things?” I said, feeling annoyed. Why do I have to deal with these questions?

“Guess, you can tell when Phii Tharn likes you, right?”

“Who wouldn’t notice? He’s been patting my head so much I’m nearly bald.”

“Yeah, right.” Ter said, letting out a laugh, “So, any guesses?”

“Well, sometimes I think, but who flirts like that?”

“Do what?”

“Curses at me like I’ve burned his house down.” “Maybe it’s their way of flirting, the aggressive type.” “Well, then, what if Phii Hill cursed at you like that?” “I’d be startled.”

“Exactly.”

“But because it’s you, if someone approached you subtly like Phii Tharn, you’d probably just keep them in the friend zone. Maybe this is a new flirting strategy.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know, but I want to know, what should I do?”

“Reduce your curiosity, maybe your life would be happier.”

“Wow, you’re being mean now, are you influenced by Phii Joe?”

“Crazy, that’s just me.”

“So you’re going to keep being clueless like this? Regarding Phii Joe’s fans, and Phii Joe himself?”

“Yeah, whatever happens, happens, damn, you’re making such a fuss about me.”

“It’s because I care, as a friend.”

“Alright.”

“Annoyance.”

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 9 part 1

   Chapter 9: Nothing To Worry

   “What time do you finish?” Phii Johan asked after I got off his big bike, my legs still trembling. Even though he didn’t drive fast, I don’t know if he was intentionally teasing or not, he liked to twist the throttle when I wasn’t ready. If he could lift the wheel to tease me, he probably would have. So, I clung tightly to Phii Joe’s waist all the way, so tight that my hands hurt. “Normally, the shop closes at 10 PM, but I don’t know what time Phii Ya will close tonight. “

“Phii Ya? “

“The shop owner. “

“Oh…On the way back, you’ll go back with Hill. “

“Sure.” I agreed. I usually go back with Phii Hill anyway. Just catching a ride back shouldn’t be too much trouble, right? They have to drop off Ter anyway.

“Call me if there’s anything. “

“Sure…Oh.” I hadn’t even asked anything, and Phii Johan had already sped off on his big bike.

Lame.

Disaster.

What was that?

Not used to it, this side of Phii Joe, I’m not used to it!

“Oh. Didn’t make it in time. Oh well.” Phii Ya said after running out of the shop and stopping next to me.” Too bad. “

“What’s too bad? “

“Just our fan, wanted to say hi, such a pity, he’s super handsome, didn’t see his face clearly because of the helmet, but just for riding that CBR which costs almost a million, I know he’s super handsome. “

“Him? He’s not my boyfriend.” I said.

“Really? Thought he was. “

“No.” I shook my head.”

“So, who is he? Is he single?”

“I don’t know, he’s probably not single anymore.” I said, thinking out loud. Is Phii Johan single, or what? I see him chatting with a lot of people. “Oh, I want to meet him. That’s a beautiful ride, I’d love to ride on the back for some good karma.” Phii Ya said with a hint of regret. I secretly smiled at Phii Ya’s actions; she is one very talented transgender woman, and very kind-hearted too.

“What’s his name?”

“Phii Johan.”

“Really? Where does he study?”

“Same university as me, second year, friend of Phii Hill.”

“Hmm, friend of Ter’s boyfriend, huh? You guys pick your friends based on looks first?”

“I guess so.” I said jokingly but it was kind of true; they all looked good, damn.

“Very cool, the way he rode that big bike, it just pulls at my heartstrings, oh my! Hill, you’ve got it good. Meeting Hill’s friends makes me want to cry, they seem so rich too, right?”

“Yeah, they are rich.”

“Go for it, ask Hill for help. He’s handsome, rich, and has it all.”

“Ha ha ha, no way.” I shook my head gently, smiling awkwardly at her before walking into the shop which was getting ready to open. Ter was already there, washing vegetables in the kitchen.

“Hey, do you have any pictures? I want to see what he looks like.” Phii Ya asked, following me into the kitchen.

“What’s up?” Ter raised an eyebrow, asking.

“The guy named Johan, Hill’s friend.”

“Oh, North’s lover.”

“Ter, really.” I immediately looked at him with a scowl.

“Oh, so not lovers?”

“No.” I quickly answered.

“Why about Phii Joe then?” “I saw him on a CBR dropping off North earlier, thought he might be his boyfriend so I wanted to greet him. Seriously, I only got a glimpse when he took off his helmet. He’s very handsome, just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh, Phii Ya said your boyfriend is handsome. “

“Sigh. “

“So, is he your boyfriend or not? “

“He’s not my boyfriend. I was just teasing, and I was rooting for him too.” Ter said.

“Oh, do you have a picture? I want to see. “

“Yes, I have them on the page.” Ter replied, wiping his hands on his apron and pulling out his phone to show Phii Ya some photos. I shook my head at both of them and went to change into the shop uniform in the bathroom.

“Put it away.” I came out of the bathroom to see Phii Ya looking at me and nudging Ter, who quickly hid his phone. What was that about? Why did it seem suspicious?

“What’s going on?” I approached them.

“Nothing. Let’s go wash some vegetables. “

“Ter.” I said in a low voice.

“What? “

“Not smooth. “

“Not smooth about what? “

“You’re really bad at lying. There’s something you’re not telling me. “

“There isn’t. “

“Phii Ya.” Since Ter wouldn’t talk, I turned to Phii Ya instead.

“What?”

“Is there something going on? “ “No, go wash the vegetables. We’re about to open the shop. Help set the tables too. “

“Alright.” Then both of them went off to do other things. What was that about? I was only went to the bathroom for a moment; did something happen?

After a while, as the shop opened, customers started trickling in. Meanwhile, I kept pestering Ter for information until past 10 PM when Phii Ya said we could close up. Today, there weren’t many customers, and now we were waiting for Phii Hill to pick us up.

“Ter, can you tell me now?” I pressed him again. His suspicious behavior made me even more curious.

“Ugh, you’ve made me squeeze until I’m like an orange.”

“Now, when I came out, you and Phii Ya were acting strange. I told you to keep it quiet. Did you keep your phone, or is there something in it?” I repeated the same sentence, “If you don’t tell me, I’ll be mad at you.”

“Oh, you can get mad too?”

“Yeah, then I’ll throw away your camera, just keep the lens, leave the camera body, so you’ll think twice about it.”

“Damn, why do I believe you would actually do that?”

“I would, tell me.”

“You really want to know that much?”

“Extremely.”

“Sigh, okay, I’ll tell you, there’s really nothing, you’ll know soon anyway. Promise me you won’t overthink it, okay?” Ter said with a serious face, which made me even more curious, “Oh, forget it. I don’t want to tell you, I’m afraid you’ll overthink it, and please don’t cry, promise me.”

“Okay, I promise, do you think I’m the type to overthink?”

“No, but…I’m just scared. If it were me, I’d definitely overthink it.” “Such drama, I’m not as neurotic as you, just tell me.” I said, slightly annoyed, what is it, making me curious and then acting all dramatic? What could make Ter think I’d overthink it?

“Alright, alright, calm down.” Ter frowned slightly before pulling out his phone, scrolled a bit, then handed it over for me to see, “Phii Ya. I was about to show North.”

“Ha, no, you can’t show that.” Phii Ya, who was talking to another employee, immediately stepped in to stop it.

“What’s this about?”

“But sooner or later, North has to know.”

“But isn’t that too much? I think it’s better not to.”

“Oh come on, just tell me.”

Before Ter finally handed his phone over for me to look, he gripped my arm tightly as if he was really worried I might cry or overthink it. Truth be told, he’s the one who overthinks more.

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – Added new photos

   Let’s see who we spotted this morning. (Be warned, prepare your heart before looking, take a deep breath, everyone on the page) it’s Johan, the future doctor himself!! He came to study early on his eight hundred thousand baht CBR, which I love, I love his wealth! It’s just too much, I really can’t handle it. With his looks and wealth, how could we not crown him the husband of the university? Everyone would probably want to ride on a big bike like that, holding tight, but…he already has someone riding with him. Even though the face isn’t clear, I recognize the shirt; it looks a lot like Phii Johan’s shirt. I remember he wore it often, guessing it’s the same one. So, are they a couple or what?! Borrowing each other’s clothes! I need some clarification here; is the best of the medical faculty going to be sold out again? Oh no, Hill, I still can’t get over it, TT

   The picture shows me standing with my back to the camera, talking to Phii Johan who is still sitting on the big bike.

Disaster…

I tried scrolling through the comments: Nooooo. It’s not true, tell me it’s not true, they’re even wearing each other’s shirts, this is unacceptable!! Who is this person, tell us!! Who is this, they get to ride the bike and wear his shirt too? What kind of merit did they earn? Share some of that merit! Can’t see the face at all. And it’s super blurry, did you take it with a calculator or something! Don’t tell me they spent the night together, that’s why they’re here together… I don’t want him to have a girlfriend, I want him to be mine alone, could that be possible? Heartbroken from Hill, thought I’d find some solace in Johan…TT

   – Actually, it’s not that surprising, Joe isn’t known to be exclusive. Ugh, they’ll probably break up soon anyway, just like before. Don’t be sad, Admin, #TeamForeverWifeOfJohan @Kaimook, Patcha, what about you? Weren’t you guys flirting?

   – If you like Phii Joe, you need to prepare yourself, he’s got real flirts and imaginary wives all over the university, haha. But Joe doesn’t usually let others use his stuff, this person might be serious.

   – It’s just a shirt, maybe Joe wanted to throw this one away and let the person he wants to discard wear it, right? 😉 I overheard that Joe has stopped giving out his LINE ID, he’s blocked many people too. I’m scared, I’m not ready for him to date anyone yet.

   From what I’ve seen, the comments seem to have shifted direction entirely. Normally, they’re mostly praising, but when it’s a picture of Phii Johan with someone else, the hostility just pours out. I guess anyone who posts a photo with Phii Joe will definitely get flamed by his fans. Wow, it’s like he’s a celebrity.

At first, I was about to return the phone to Ter and scold him for thinking this would make me cry, but my finger accidentally touched the screen, scrolling to another post.

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – has added a new photo

   URGENT! Today, there was an issue around the Faculty of Engineering. Our freshman, Tiger, had someone riding with him too. Let me just say, he’s super cute, and he looks great on that black ninja bike. Guys riding big bikes really do something to your heart, but I’ve heard Tiger is single. Wonder about the one riding with him, that person is wearing the same shirt as the one with Dr. Joe. What’s the deal? Need an urgent statement!

   And even Tiger isn’t spared, huh! Well, Tiger is already popular, being the faculty’s freshman and all, he gets photographed and posted on pages often. The picture they uploaded this time was when I was riding with Tiger around the faculty, and we were wearing helmets so you couldn’t see my face. What, what’s this? First with one person, then another, can’t have two faculty husbands! “Wow, that’s shameless. Isn’t Dr. Joe enough? “Playing two sides? Not cool. “Don’t let them know who it is, hehe!” “Hey, admin, don’t exaggerate. They might not even be involved. Let’s calm down, everyone, think before you type, feel sorry for that person. They haven’t done anything wrong, have they? “Alright, I’ve lost respect for one person! “Trying to steal Dr. Joe and messing with Tiger too, I’m not okay with this. Can’t handle it, choose one. “Some people are taking it too far, can we chill for a moment? “Dr. Joe has many fans, and Tiger’s got a lot of admirers too. Try doing something wrong, and we’ll be waiting to deal with it. We’ll find out who it is soon.

   Before I could even finish reading all the comments, Ter snatched the phone from my hand.

“Stop. No need to read anymore.” Ter said, looking guilty, “Shouldn’t have let you read it in the first place.”

“Hey, why the sad face? I was going to read it myself. You’re the one overthinking.” I said, giving him a light tap on the head.

“Okay, North, it’s just social media, don’t take it to heart. Admins and pages always stir things up.” Phii Ya said, giving me a gentle shoulder squeeze to comfort me, “Don’t overthink it.”

“What’s there to overthink? I’m not overthinking.” I raised my eyebrows, stating the truth. I really wasn’t overthinking; I wasn’t thinking about it at all. I don’t care what people say. That’s just not me. “Are you going to cry for me then?”

“Uh, almost. When I was with Phii Hill, nothing like this happened. It’s too much. If I faced something like this, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“You’re not me, and Phii Hill isn’t Phii Joe either. Phii Joe might be a playboy, so some people are a bit harsh.” I said without thinking much about it.” If you cry, Phii Hill will get mad, you know.”

“Yeah, I won’t cry. “

“Promise me you won’t overthink. Have you promised yourself that? “

“Hik…I was just trying to show you, sorry. “

“Why are you apologizing? “

“You really don’t care, right? Really, not just pretending to be strong. “

“I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t overthinking, I’d have exploded by now.” I said before gently nudging Ter’s head. Ter was about to cry instead of me; why are people so sensitive? His overly caring nature will never change. “There’s nothing going on. Me and Phii Johan have nothing, same with that guy. Everyone’s just imagining things. People who don’t know anything just talk. Don’t take it to heart.”

“Wow. You’re freaking awesome. “

“It’s normal. Why make such a big deal out of it? If they want to investigate me when they’re free, let them. What will they do if they find me? Beat me up? That would be stupid, I’d really fight back. “

“And if it’s a girl? “

“I’ve been curious to see what it’s like to punch a girl. “

“Wait, you beast, are you serious? “

“Kidding, but I wouldn’t just stand there, you know. Can you stop crying now, you crybaby? “

“Whatever. I’m not crying. “

“North, you’re the best, I’m so proud of you!” Phii Ya said happily and hugged me tightly. “I was so worried you’d be overthinking everything.”

“Don’t worry, Phii. I’m fine. “

“There’s an advantage to not overthinking.” Ter said.” It’s more peaceful. So what will you do next? “

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 8 part 2

“Hop on.”

“Already showing attitude the moment you arrive. Where’s the helmet? Safety first, wear a helmet.” “I don’t have one for you. Fall off and die for all I care.”

“What did I do to deserve that kind of resentment?” I said, chuckling, before Tiger reluctantly handed me a helmet. I took it and put it on.

“You’re lucky I don’t let just anyone ride with my beloved bike.” Tiger said while I was struggling to get on. Why does this scene feel so familiar?

“I’ve seen Nao riding with you all the time.”

“Nao doesn’t count. He’s the only one I meant to let ride with me. See this helmet? I bought it for Nao.”

“Got a thing for my friend, huh? Well, yeah, this helmet does suit Nao, being orange and all.” Nao likes oranges. Once I managed to get on the bike, the rider started the engine, and the beautiful big bike moved out. I’ve said it before, I don’t know much about bikes, just whether they look good or not. And Tiger’s bike is indeed very nice, though different from Phii Johan’s model.

After a while, we arrived at the faculty. It was good that he didn’t drive as fast as Phii Joe did this morning. Otherwise, I’d have been chanting prayers again for sure.

“So, how was getting kicked this morning?” I asked, handing back the helmet.

“Ohhh, it was…so good.”

“Hold on.” I interjected, “It felt good?”

“It felt like being slapped by a cat’s paw, man. Soft and everything, like going to heaven, my heart was like…Nao, kick me again, kick me more.”

Um…

   How should I respond to that?

   Tiger, damn…and look at his face, stop using that handsome face for stuff like this, it’s ruining everything. I want to take a photo and post it on a page for everyone to see, his face looks like hell, is this the face of the engineering faculty at our university…

   “Crazy bastard.” “Huh.”

“You might be the only person in the world who gets beaten up and feels happy, now you’ve turned into a sadomasochist or something?”

“Damn it, but seriously, Nao’s kicks are super heavy, when he steps down, I feel like my guts are about to burst. But what can I do? Can’t fight back, can’t even block with my arms.” Tiger said as we were walking towards the parking lot.

“Why can’t you block with your arms?” I furrowed my brows in confusion, “Can’t you just lift your arm to block?”

“Nao…he says it’s annoying to hit my hands, tells me to put my hands down.”

“Wow, brave househusband.” I remarked.

“Yeah, trained by kicks.”

We stopped in front of the cafeteria where there’s a coffee shop with an incredibly long line. Why is coffee selling so well today? Usually, there are people buying it, but I’ve never seen it this crowded, the cafeteria almost looks like it’s going to burst. Oh, that’s right, the page said the engineering faculty’s coffee was selling well because they saw Phii Johan bothered to drive all the way here to buy it. Well, that’s quite the celebrity status.

“Damn, so many people. Is there nowhere else to eat?” Tiger muttered softly, “You might not get your green tea now.”

“No, I will stay here.” I insisted.

“Check out the line first, by the time you get your food, class will be over.”

“You’re exaggerating, let’s go queue up.” I said, almost giving an order. Ever since I found out about Nao, Tiger’s been like someone who can’t fight back against me.

They call it knowing someone’s weakness…

And only a few people know about this, just Tiger’s friends and me…As for how I found out…I overheard it by chance. “Wow. Why does someone like you have to know this? You use it against me.” Tiger complained, sounding annoyed, “Alright. Just green tea, right? Just getting green tea will satisfy you, right?”

“Yeah, special green tea, less sweet, can you add whipped cream?”

“I guess.”

“Hmm, but no, it doesn’t really go together.”

“Annoy me”

“Get me a sandwich too, with ham, make it two.”

“Agreed on just green tea then?”

“I’m starving here, haven’t had breakfast yet, bring some other snacks too, I’m super hungry, bring a lot, you’re treating.”

“Asshole, the nickname ‘the asshole of the electric department’ isn’t just for show, I got it today.” Tiger said before walking to join the line. I then walked over to sit and wait in that line, feeling a bit sorry for him seeing how long the queue was.

And while I was scrolling through my Facebook…

MaPrang: North, 555

   MaPrang: What did you do to Johan?

   North♣: Yes?

   North♣: I didn’t do anything, Phii.

   North♣: Why?

   MaPrang: He deducted your debt three times.

   MaPrang: So I was just curious what you did.

   North♣: Huh!!

   North♣: Three times?

   MaPrang: Yes, he just told me.

   MaPrang: So that’s 240,405 baht in total.

   MaPrang: I’ll subtract 405 baht for now.

   MaPrang: That’s 240,000 even, right?

   North♣: Nooo

   North♣: sends sticker

   MaPrang: What do you mean? Don’t need to subtract?

   North♣: Nooo, I mean. Don’t deduct, nooo.

   North♣: sends a sticker

   MaPrang: Funny sticker, haha

   MaPrang: I’m working now, just stopped by to say.

   MaPrang: If you’re going to transfer money, let me know first, okay?

   And then Phii Prang went offline…

What’s with giving me three thousand and then deducting a thousand? What kind of heart is made of? And what’s this about? What else have I done? Plus, he deducted three times, T^T

I decided to message Phii Johan, although I didn’t really want to disturb him during class, but this was a big deal, it’s a thousand baht!

North♣: Phii

    North♣: Why…

   North♣: How can you do this, T^T

   (Read)

   Here, read but no reply.

Before I could think or complain more by myself, all these snacks and green tea were placed on the table. I looked up to see Tiger raising his eyebrows at me, then he sat down on the opposite side.

“Why so fast?” I raised my eyebrows, the line was so long, how did he get it so quickly?

“I cut the queue.”

“…” “You are really bad.”

“Am I a bad boy?” Tiger asked.

“Nao doesn’t like bad boys.”

“Oh, then I’ll take it back.”

“Asshole. No need, but how did you get it so fast?”

“Well, when they saw me in line, they were like…you can go first, many people said that until I ended up at the front of the line.”

“Wow, the power of the faculty.”

“Ordinary, it should be because I am this handsome, but I have a wife named Duennao, you know?”

“…”

“Sigh”

“Friend, if he is comfortable, I’m okay. You’re talking nonsense, aren’t you?” I said with a sigh. What’s with everyone around me? Thank goodness I’m still normal. Then I proceeded to drink green tea and eat snacks without a care, and Tiger was eating too, he had just woken up and hadn’t had breakfast either.

“Yeah, was about to say.” Tiger suddenly said with his mouth full of snacks, “Nice shirt.”

“This shirt?” I repeated, looking down at the shirt I was wearing. It was Phii Joe’s shirt, quite nice actually. Didn’t even notice. And it’s comfortable too.

“I like it. If I’m not mistaken, this is a limited edition.” He said, reaching out to touch the sleeve to feel the fabric, “Yeah. I couldn’t get one back then, my dad wouldn’t let me go buy it, school was in the way, couldn’t order it either, it was too limited.”

“Just because of school you couldn’t buy it?” I asked, puzzled. Couldn’t you go after school?

“It was only sold in England, limited edition.” Wow, that extreme? So I’m wearing a shirt bought from England, a limited edition one at that.

“Are you selling it? I really want it, I like it.” He asked with shining eyes. Tiger is one of those guys who’s crazy about nice shoes, clothes, and even cars.

“Ten thousand.” I jokingly said, making his eyes widen.

“Seriously? I’ll buy it, give me your account number.”

“Huh? You’re ready to transfer right now?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise. It was a joke, and I even exaggerated the price.

“I’m ready, but is it cheap enough for a fake?” He raised an eyebrow, looking suspicious, then pulled the shirt to check again, “It’s real though.”

“Is that cheap, ten thousand?”

“Yeah, I can’t remember the exact price, but it’s not less than twenty thousand. So, are you selling?”

“I’m not selling, I was joking. It’s not mine.” I said, shaking my head. I knew it was expensive, but not that much, right? Now I want to take it off and fold it back.

“Oh, it’s your husband’s then, the one you said you borrowed to cover your shirt?”

“Here’s another one, what’s with your husband?” I said, making a face at him.

“Will you boast about your rich husband?”

“Enough, let’s stop talking.” I said to cut him off.

“The eyebrows I’ve been raising.”

“Hmm, put them aside.”

“Okay, then I’ll delete Nao’s picture.” I said while pulling out my phone. Being the only one in the group who knows about this, he often has me take pictures of Nao, but I don’t understand why since they’re in the same room.

“No, no, leave the thanks aside, just send Nao’s picture through LINE.” “Here you go.” I sent the picture of Nao secretly napping during yesterday’s class.

“Huuh, so cute. I can’t take it anymore, where’s the bathroom!!”

“Hold on, calm down first.” I quickly stopped him, whether it’s joking or serious. It’s still scary, “Stay calm, take a deep breath, damn, will Nao ever know he has a stalker who likes him this much?”

“Stalker? Whatever, huuh, this guy is just so cute, yeah, I’m going up to class now, what about you?”

“I’m staying around here, I have class in the afternoon.”

“Oh, and what will you do until then?”

“Just play on my phone, I’ll manage somehow.”

“Thinking I care, huh? How brave.”

“From the heart, do you hate me or what?”

“Glad you know, but you can come up to class with me, the teacher won’t mind.”

“Nah, sitting here playing on my phone or going to class, which one is better for my life, answer me.”

“Yeah, keep playing, you’ll run out of battery.”

“I’ve got a power bank, and mosquito repellent too.”

“…Why would you carry mosquito repellent?”

 

09:03 AM

   North♣: Are you really going to read and not reply?

   North♣: I didn’t mean to bother you.

   North♣: But could you explain about the money deduction, T^T

   (Read)

   09:42 AM

   North♣: What about the three thousand baht? North♣: You gave it to me but then deducted it again??

   North♣: Can I have my money back, LOL?

   (Read)

   10:23 AM

   North♣: Just kidding, Phii. Who would do that, LOL?

   (Read)

   I’m sitting alone under the Engineering Faculty, surrounded by people passing by, super bored, I’ve been texting everyone and no one’s replying, honestly, Phii Johan shouldn’t have brought me to the university this early. I have classes in the afternoon, making me wait like this is killing me.

And why does he read my messages and not reply? If he’s not free, shouldn’t he just not read the messages? Does this mean he’s ignoring my chat, T^T?

12:04 PM

   Johan: ?

   Johan: Why are you spamming messages?

   Johan: Are you that free?

   Oh, he replied. Right at noon, must mean he’s just on lunch break.

North♣: Yes, I’m free.

   North♣: Very free.

   Johan: Oh.

   Johan: Then go do something useful.

   North♣: Oh my gosh! -, ;

   North♣: I have a lot of questions I want to ask.

   North♣: You’ve docked my money…

   North♣: How, why, why did you do this, T^T. And three times at that. I still can’t figure out what I did.

   Johan: Not surprising. North♣: Not surprising about what?

   Johan: That you can’t figure it out.

   Oh my gosh, will there ever be a day when I don’t get scolded? And I never get answers to my questions!

North♣: Please tell me. So I won’t do it again.

   North♣: So I won’t get docked again T^T

   The chat showed as read but no reply again, making me sigh in frustration. Is he hard to understand, or am I not understanding? When I started to feel hungry, I remembered it was time to eat. But to be honest, I’m scared to use Phii Johan’s money, what if he suddenly demands it back and I can’t return it, that would be tough.

Johan: How did you get here?

   North♣: What?

   Johan: Black Ninja

   Johan: Who?

   Black Ninja?

   Oh…you mean Tiger’s big bike. But how did Phii Joe see that?

   North♣: A friend named Tiger.

   North♣: Why?

   Johan: Your friend?

   North♣: Yes.

   Johan: Oh.

   Johan: Have you eaten yet?

   !!

   North♣: Not yet.

   North♣: Phii. Oh my, my chat with Phii Johan has turned into a normal, everyday conversation. Oh my, why do I feel like crying? Since we’ve known each other, we’ve hardly had a normal conversation like this.

Johan: Why haven’t you eaten?

   North♣: Well…I don’t have money.

   Johan: Not enough?

   Johan: Did you eat an elephant or something?

   North♣: No, Phii. Who would eat an elephant?

   North♣: I don’t dare to spend your money.

   Johan: Why?

   Johan: So you didn’t eat breakfast either?

   North♣: I did eat breakfast, Phii.

   North♣: I had Tiger feed me, LOL.

   (Read)

   Oh, he read it and didn’t reply again. What’s up with him? This has happened several times now, leaving me waiting for a reply for almost five minutes.

MaPrang: North, again?

   Wait! Why is Phii Prang messaging me…just seeing the chat name already makes my heart sink.

North♣: Phii Prang, LOL.

   North♣: You never message me with good news.

   North♣: May I block you?

   MaPrang: Calm down.

   MaPrang: Don’t block me, if you block me, who will tell you about the money?

   MaPrang: Just stopping by to say Joe docked your money again, haha.

   MaPrang: Let’s eat first, I’ll tally it up in the evening. MaPrang: In case he docks more, haha.

   What now, docked again. Always docking money, why are you like this, T^T, but this time I can guess it might be about Tiger treating me to a meal. We were talking about it, and then you disappeared.

North♣: Can’t Tiger treat me to a meal?, T^T

   Johan: Didn’t expect you to know.

   Johan: Actually, you’re quite smart.

   Phii Johan!! being called stupid hurts less than this, has anyone ever told you, you have a sharp tongue. And you love to tease a lot too.

North♣: I didn’t know this. Who would have known you’d be upset about this.

   About what?

Johan: Remember now.

   Johan: What, are you chewing on my money or something?

   North: Are you crazy?

   North♣: Who in the world chews money?

   Johan: Yeah

   Johan: Just use it.

   North♣: Are you seriously letting me use it? Like, for real?

   North♣: Not some kind of trick, right?

   Johan: Trick?

   Johan: With someone like you?

   Okay…

Fine, I give up. I won’t argue anymore, just stop this harsh talking, my heart is totally bruised.

North♣: Okay…

   North♣: I’ll use it then. I’ll go eat first. (Read)

   I got up from my usual table and headed through the crowd to the cafeteria. The chat, the only normal conversation we’ve had, lasted less than five minutes, then it went back to me getting scolded like usual. Seriously. At first, I thought he was being kind, actually giving me money.

Ah…But in the end, I still haven’t gotten an answer as to why he deducted my money three times.

16:23 PM

   I’m sitting at the back of the class with my arms folded. Next to me is Duennao, who is resting his chin on his hand and yawning. I glance over to see Kyukyu scribbling something or maybe not, next to Kett. Classes from the afternoon till 5:30 PM with no break, this subject is just too harsh. It’s super hard, and I don’t get any of it.

Today I have to work at Phii Ya’s shop with Ter starting at six, will I even have time to eat before then? Damn it, I forgot to check the schedule for this semester.

“North.” Nao called out to me.

“What?”

“Lend me your shirt.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I’m Nao.”

“Yeah, I know that. I’m North, nice to meet you.” [1] This is a play on the word Nao which means cold so saying I am Nao can also mean I am cold.

   “That old gag should disappear.”

“You used it yesterday.”

“Whatever, just take off your shirt.”

“Can you even force someone to do that?” I questioned, puzzled. Can you really force someone to take off their shirt like this? “To cover us together, like a dog, Nao. Seeing Skater asleep makes me think we’re in a room full of dead souls.”

“You said it too.” I said, chuckling. If Skater heard that, he’d definitely retort, but he’s out cold.

“You know this class is blown by AC, why didn’t you bring a sweater?”

“Forget it, come on, let me borrow some warmth from your shirt. No way, it’s your husband’s shirt.”

“Nah, I won’t take it off because of that.” I said, making a face. What husband’s shirt are you talking about? It’s been like this since morning, are you trying to be intense now?

“Not borrowing from Tiger, he’s right in front.” I said, pointing at Tiger who was studying at the front of the classroom. Even though we’re not in the same major, we share some classes, “No, he’s too far.”

“Text him and tell him.”

“I feel bad about it.”

Acting all considerate. If you’d ask, he’d take his clothes off for you until he’s down to his underwear, just because you’d tell him you’re cold.

“I’ll tell him for you.” I said, pulling out my phone. I sent a message to Tiger asking to borrow his shirt, saying Duennao said it’s cold so he needed it. I saw Tiger, who was sitting at the front, picked up his phone to read the message and immediately took off his sweater, sending it over.

“The person in front sent this, said it’s for someone named Duennao.” The girl in front turned around and handed over Tiger’s large shirt to us.

“Thanks.” Duennao said, taking the shirt, “You ass.” before turning to scold me.

“Oh. Isn’t it good? You said you wanted it.”

“It’s like I robbed him of his shirt, isn’t it cold?” “No, he likes the cold.”

“Is the air cold?”

“Uh…yeah.”

Good that it was sent, but the issue is, I’m too scared to wear it, T^T

“I don’t like his shirt.” Nao said before spreading out the shirt to cover himself.

“Oh. You won’t wear it?”

“I said I don’t like his shirt. I don’t like anything about him. Even though he’s willing to lend it to me.”

“Why?”

“It’s expensive, I’m afraid I’ll ruin it. Last time I scuffed his shoes and was stressed out, nearly died, he loves his stuff.”

“Oh. You don’t like wearing expensive things.” I said.

“Wow, this shirt must cost several thousands, if not almost ten thousand. Do you dare to wear it?” The person next to me raised an eyebrow and asked, which really threw me off…

Damn, now I want to take off the shirt I’m wearing and use it like Nao did, T^T

Ding!

Who’s messaging me now?

Johan: Where are you?

   He’s asking the same old question…

North♣: At the faculty.

   North♣: Still in class, TT.

   Johan: What time do you finish?

   North♣: Half past five.

   Johan: Where are you going after?

   I stared wide-eyed at the chat screen…shit, is it going to rain or something? Phii Johan is asking me where I’m going beforehand. Not like before where he would just tell me where to go. Oh my, tears might start flowing, the world must remember this moment!

North♣: Probably to eat.

   North♣: Then to work.

   I told the truth since today I’m working at the Japanese restaurant with Ter. I can tell Phii Johan about that, but about working at the bar, absolutely not.

Johan: With Ter?

   North♣: Yes.

   North♣: Phii Hill comes to pick us up.

   Johan: Tell Hill to take a detour to pick you up.

   North♣: Yes…usually Phii Hill picks us up when I go to work.

   Johan: And then you go eat with him?

   North♣: Yes…why?

   Johan: You’re a burden.

   North♣: Come on, T^T

   “North, what are you talking about with whom?” Nao leaned over to sneak a peek at my chat since who knows when, and then he teased. I didn’t hide my phone, letting him continue reading, “Wow, talking to your husband, huh?”

“Screw that, you’re just making things up. He’s scolding me here.”

“He’s got some guts.”

“It’s not guts anymore, it feels like a punch in the heart.” I said, making a face like I was about to cry at Nao, “Phii Hill says I’m a burden.”

“Well, he’s right.”

“Come-onnn.” I dragged out my voice, “We’re friends. Won’t you take my side at all?”

“It’s true though, don’t you realize?” “I know it’s true, but Ter said it’s okay.” I said, making a sullen face. Initially, I didn’t want to be the third wheel, but Ter told me it was fine to come along.

“You believe Ter, but what about Phii Hill’s car? If it were you, would you want to have dinner with your couple or bring along a third wheel?”

“Nao, don’t call me a third wheel.” I dragged out my voice again, why are you so harsh, T^T

“You wouldn’t want to sit in the middle of a pink atmosphere, right?”

“Honestly, no, it’s like torture for me, the bright world turns to hell, just the two of them being all lovey-dovey, the scent of love filling the air.” I answered, thinking about the times when I went out with those two, experiencing the single person’s torment of watching a couple in love.

“So you are Phii Hill’s burden.”

“You didn’t have to say it so bluntly.”

North♣: So what should I do then?

   North♣: I don’t have a car, how am I supposed to get to work?

   North♣: I really don’t want to bother Phii Hill, honestly.

   5:28 PM

   Johan: Huh?

   Johan: Then come with me.

   Johan: I’m at your faculty already.

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 8 part 1

Chapter 8: Last Night & Ice Green Tea

   Last Night

   22:37 PM

   I threw my phone onto the table in frustration after seeing the chat marked as read but with no reply. The music, the atmosphere of the place, people talking, everything was quite familiar, yet it was unusual for me to come here feeling like this.

“Have you ordered yet?” Arthit’s voice rang out before he sat down opposite me, followed by Hill who walked around the table to sit beside him.

“Not yet, order now.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Just arrived.”

“Why did you call us here?” Hill asked.

“I’m bored.” I replied, because I didn’t know how to handle this feeling, so I decided to call them to come hang out at the cafe with me. Only Tonfah is missing; he’s probably buried in his books by now.

“Do you really think we’d believe that?” Hill raised an eyebrow.

“I thought I could trick you.”

“Trick us, huh?”

“You ask too many questions right after arriving, want to order something to eat first?” I said, reaching for the menu and waving for a waiter, “Arthit, you order.” And I handed the menu to the person sitting opposite me.

“What do you guys want to eat?”

“Whatever you want, Hill, you order too.” I turned to tell the person next to him, who seemed uninterested in my words.

“Anything is fine, up to you.” “Okay, sure.” Then Arthit ordered a variety of dishes. Well, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to eat, just sitting here idly wouldn’t do.

“So, what’s the conclusion?” Hill persisted with the same question, making me have to turn and give him an annoyed look.

“I told you, I’m just bored.”

“Yeah, if you don’t tell me, it’s your business.”

“Yeah, that’s right, it’s my business.” I said.

“What’s going on?” Arthit looked slightly puzzled, but I didn’t reply. I wasn’t in the mood to say anything, so I just looked back at my phone screen.

Johan: Where are you?

   North♣: Outside.

   Johan:?

   North♣: Went out.

   Johan: With whom?

   North♣: With a friend.

   Johan: At 8 PM?

   Johan: Where?

   Johan: Not answering me?

   North♣: Please calm down, T^T

   Johan: So, where are you?

   (Read)

   Sneaked off to work…

Thought I wouldn’t know?

I knew from the moment he said he went outside.

He had thought about sneaking off to do some part-time work. His sour face was a clear sign. At first, it was just a guess, but when I replied I was outside and then went silent, that confirmed it. And the restaurant…does he think it’s hard to find? It’s so obvious with the waiter uniform.

For heaven’s sake…

Why is he this annoying?

“Joe, what’s your problem?”

“What?” I replied, annoyed.

“I’m asking, what the hell is wrong?”

“Nothing. You too, why ask? It’s nothing.” I answered the person sitting opposite me. Why do these two have to ask so many questions?

“Your face looks like you’ve got a problem.”

“What’s wrong with my face?”

“Annoying.” Hill interjected, looking up from his phone at me, “Your face looks annoying.”

“Yeah, what’s got you so irritated, and then you drag us out here?”

“Just to have company.” I furrowed my brows at Arthit, “Is that not okay?”

“If it wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t be here, but what’s got you so irritated? Normally, if you’re in a bad mood, you don’t come to places like this.”

“It’s just frustrating. I don’t know what to do.”

“Really, what’s frustrating you?”

“You want to know that badly?”

“Just asking.”

“I don’t know.” I said before letting out a small sigh, “Do you like people who lie?”

“Who would like that?”

“Hmm.”

“Who lied to you?” Arthit raised his eyebrows in surprise, taking the beer glass the waiter brought and sliding it towards us. I took it and sipped a little. “…”

“Here’s the thing. Is this the first time someone has lied to you? You’ve flirted with so many people. You lie to them, they lie to you, and you always knew. You never seemed to care.”

“Is it like what I thought?” Hill suddenly chimed in.

“Probably. You’re good at guessing.” I said before taking another gulp of my beer.

“Oh, then that’s settled. No need to squeeze anything out of it.”

“Why?”

“That’s all you can do.” Hill turned to tell Arthit, “Let it go, let’s go. He can’t answer anything right now anyway.”

“Yeah, just let me be.” I said, irritated.

“And how did you know he was lying?” Hill continued asking.

“I saw it.”

“Saw?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“Passed by in the car.”

“Or did you deliberately take a detour?” Hill said.

“…”

“It’s my business.”

“Always like this when you can’t answer.” Hill said before turning his attention back to chatting with his partner, still talking with his girlfriend even when he’s out with friends, it’s damn annoying.

If you ask me what I dislike about Hill, I’d say one thing: I hate that he knows too much about me, and it seems like he knows more every day.

   “Hill, do you know?” Athit raised his eyebrows in question. “I know everything.” “Know everything, my ass.” I cursed without bothering to look over. “It’s not hard to guess, I already knew a bit.” “Yeah.”

“Are you going to stay silent like this?” After about ten minutes, Arthit was talking to someone who came over, and before that person left, possibly noticing how quiet our table had become, he asked, “Going home, asshole?”

“Just got here.” I said.

“But I want to go back.” Hill said.

“No way.”

“Chasing after your husband?”

“Fuck off.” I retorted, turning to curse. Yeah…that’s another thing I hate about Hill, the way he teases about guys hitting on him. It was fun to tease Hill about this, but right now, I’m not in the mood to listen to this.

“Um…sorry to interrupt.” I turned towards the voice of a woman who was now standing by our table.

“Yes?”

“Like…can I have your LINE ID? My friend likes you.” I couldn’t help but give her a slight smile, and she responded with a shy smile. Honestly, she’s quite cute. And this kind of situation isn’t all that surprising; it happens to me all the time.

“No, you can’t.” Hill quickly responded, causing me to whip my head towards him. Hill shot me a disapproving look before I let out another sigh.

“Uh…no, sorry.” I answered with a smile. She looked slightly disappointed, gave a forced smile, and then walked away.

“You two are acting like a married couple.” Arthit commented with surprise, “Is this what people call jealousy?” “Is that your mouth or something that wants to connect with the heel of my foot?” I snapped back at him.

“And why not? Normally, you’re almost giving your number to girls.” The person across from me still looked perplexed. Fair enough, but I really didn’t feel like explaining.

“The tiger’s about to shed its claws.” Hill said.

“Really…what does that mean?” Arthit raised his eyebrows, “Explain.”

“It’s hard to explain.” I said.

“You make it hard.”

“…”

“Yeah.”

“Annoying.” Hill said with slight irritation. Honestly, recently, things between me and Hill have been like this almost constantly. Even though we’re not exactly fighting, “You never say anything. He must be sitting inside or something.”

“Hill, calm down.” Arthit advised.

“I’m calm.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Do you want me to talk?” Hill asked. I sighed before nodding. Alright, they’re going to find out eventually anyway.

“Oh…so that’s how it is.”

“Surprised?” I raised an eyebrow to ask.

“Yeah, but not shocked. So, it’s the junior who lied, and that’s why you’re irritated with your friends like this?”

“Hmm, something like that.”

“Don’t you realize?”

“Realize what?”

“That you’re super worried about your junior.” “…” “Yeah, tell him, I’m tired of it.” “Do you admit it, Joe?” “…”

“Yeah.”

“And what did the junior lie about?”

“He snuck off to do part-time work.”

“Just that?”

“Just that, why?”

“It’s not a big deal, right? Why don’t you let him go?” Arthit asked, surprised. I couldn’t help but frown at him, “He’s just earning money to pay you back.”

“That’s a bar!”

“Oh, and then what?”

“And then what?” I repeated, not understanding.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Bastard. I won’t talk to you anymore.” I said, cutting him off in irritation.

“Worry, you asshole, worry. It’s hard for you to say you’re worried, you lie to others that you’re worried when you’re not.” Hill chimed in, “Worried or not, you’ve probably had someone watching him already.”

“How did you figure it out?” I turned to ask Hill.

“With a face like yours, I bet you’ve got the whole army watching over your little junior at the Soul Out bar. If anyone tries anything funny, that person you have there will deal with them right away. And switch with someone else to watch over him on different days so it’s not suspicious.”

“You know everything about me.” I said. That’s why…that’s the reason I dislike this about him, he’s good at guessing, knows everything. “Which army? Oh, the underlings of your dad, are you some kind of mafia or what?”

“Do you admit you’re worried?”

“…”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Now tell me why.”

“…”

“Just look at you guys. Remember that time at the bar when there was trouble? What if I hadn’t gone? The junior might have been expelled from university by now.” I said, getting more frustrated as I remembered that night. How could that little person get that drunk? Not being careful at all, thinking I could do whatever I wanted. And the reason was just ridiculous, fighting over an ex-girlfriend, it was utterly pointless.

Thought you could take care of yourself, huh?

   Ha…

   Big talk.

   Imagine if I hadn’t gone to get you. Imagine if it was someone else taking you back. Imagine causing a scene at someone else’s house. Just try and see how much trouble that would cause. The 200,000 debt you think about, that’s not even a quarter of what it could be.

   “Ugh…sigh, our friend’s in deep trouble.” Arthit said after letting out a big sigh, “The symptoms are severe…and the mouth is just as bad, that’s for sure.”

“But what I really want to know is why you are like this with this person.”

“Actually, the reason is quite long.” Hill said, “But I think the reason it’s this serious is because this kid…”

“…”

“…What do you call it, this person is Joe’s kryptonite.” “How so?” “He’s his nemesis.” “More than just his type.” !!

“Hill.” I called out.

“What?”

“You’ve said too much.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“Because you won’t admit it.”

 

   ♣♣♣

Give me money?

Three thousand!

No, that’s not it…

No. I think it’s not that, there must be something else!!

North♣: Are you really giving it to me?

   North♣: You’re not just joking, right?

   North♣:. It’s not like you’re deducting it from my debt, right?

   (Read)

   Ah…read but no reply.

Damn.

I’m not feeling at ease at all.

I walked from the parking lot and sat on a marble bench nearby in the morning. The air’s nice like this, but soon enough, the sun will be strong. I won’t be able to sit around here for long; I’ll have to call someone to pick me up and drop me off at the faculty. But why would I go to the faculty in the first place? I don’t have classes until the afternoon.

The better question to ask is why I woke up so early.

Forget it, complaining won’t change anything, now that I’m here. I scrolled through my contacts list, Ter can’t help since he doesn’t have a car. Skater and Kyu are out of the question; they can’t know I’m here, or they’ll grill me for information.

In the end, I called Duennao again.

(Morning, bastard) Duennao answered the phone with a groggy, irritable voice, (I just fell asleep at 4 AM, didn’t I?)

“Oh, really? You were up late playing games?”

(Yeah, I have afternoon classes, damn it, my eyes hurt, and why did you call? If you called just to annoy me, you’ll get a kick in the butt.)

   “Why are you so angry? I’m not annoying you, okay, maybe I am, but let me bother you for a moment.”

(No, bye.)

   “Listen first!”

(What?)

   “Come pick me up, I’m alone, I’m lonely.”

(Pick up what? Your husband?)

   “What husband? I’m serious, come pick me up.”

(Pick you up from where? Where are you going?)

   “To the faculty.”

(I told you we have afternoon classes.)

   “I’m at the medical faculty, can’t go anywhere. No car, Phii Joe dropped me off and left.”

(Oh, so you’re just going to stay at the faculty waiting?)

   “Yes.” (Walk there then.)

   “From here to the engineering faculty? You animal, it’s insanely far, like walking to the edge of the Andaman Sea.”

(I’m too lazy, wait, doesn’t Tiger have morning classes?)

   “Oh, good point, ask him if he can swing by and pick me up.”

(That animal!!)

   “What, who are you cursing at? Me?” Suddenly Nao shouted, startling me.

(Just a sec.)

   (Ouch!! Ease up!! Nao, ease up!! That’s enough. I’m hurt, ouch!!) Tiger’s voice came through the line. What’s going on? Why is Tiger yelling like that?

(Here I am) Duennao came back on the line, sounding out of breath, (Had to make me work hard this early in the morning.)

   “What happened, what’s going on with Tiger?” I asked.

(I’m beating him up, that’s what.)

   “Huh, why beat him up?”

(He was hugging me in his sleep, that’s why I felt cramped. The bastard, the damn thing. So I beat him.)

   “Calm down.” I said, laughing a little. Ouch, I kind of felt sorry for him but it was also funny. Poor Tiger, couldn’t even sneak a cuddle.

(Tiger! Get up!!)

   (Just a moment, I’m all choked up here, woke up to a kick, ouch.)

   (What time do you have class?)

   (Nine, why?)

   (Go pick up North, he’s at the medical faculty.)

   (That’s out of the way, it’s a waste of gas.)

   (Talk to him yourself) Nao said before putting Tiger on to talk to me.

“Oh, you unstealthy one.” I teased him a bit. (I’m usually stealthy, ’cause I always wake up before him. You called and woke him up, shit, you ruined my happiness) Tiger complained with a very annoyed tone, making me feel a little guilty for him. If I hadn’t called to wake Nao, he might have continued his sneaky cuddle.

“Come on, I didn’t know. Can you come pick me up? I’m at the front of the medical faculty.”

(Why should I? Do I have to do things for someone who ruins my happiness?)

   “Huh, now you’re being like this, what’s wrong? Tiger.”

(I told you to call me Sua, you can threaten all you want, I’m annoyed. Yeah, I’ll come pick you up. Just wait in front of the faculty.) [1] Sua means Tiger

   “Don’t forget about buying me green tea.” I reminded him of yesterday’s promise.

(Yeah, you damn thing.)

   It ended with me getting scolded by Sua, but I didn’t really mind that much. I scanned around, and it was an unfamiliar place. I don’t come around here often because it’s in a different direction, on the opposite side from my faculty. There’s no one from my faculty studying around here either. So, why are engineering students hanging around the medical faculty?

I didn’t wait long before I saw in his student uniform, riding up on a big bike and stopping in front of me.

Big bike.

Again…

I forgot that Tiger also rides a big bike.

 

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