THENEXTPRINCE, Chapter 45: Love Beyond the Limits.
“Khanin… Are you injured?”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen to you? Khanin, answer!” The crowd swarmed around him, their bodies in confusion.
Khanin sat in silence, letting Evaa, who was standing near him, ask questions with a trembling voice, while Ramil tried to turn Khanin over and made a loud noise. The team members rushed in to take care of and ask about what happened, but there was no response due to the inability to speak.
The violent incident that occurred earlier still lingered. Waseen, the leader of the Meenakarin family, deliberately ended the life of the Sovereign King and himself with the vengeance bullet, causing the breath of the esteemed uncle to stop in front of everyone.
As for Dhipabawon… The faint vital signs remaining caused the field medical team to quickly move the wounded person to the hospital. Khanin was protected and brought out by Charan, and he could not speak. Even now, when the opposing party had to distance themselves.
“Nin, you are safe here.”
Charan did not allow Khanin to follow. As the tall figure moved further away, many people pushed their way into the chaos around him. Amidst the turmoil where Khanin stood, behind him was a medical unit waiting to take some of the injured for treatment with police officers stationed nearby.
Nearby the entrance gate to the palace, reporters from various agencies tried to force their way in, while other officers blocked people outside to prevent any disturbance.
The violent incident was too intense to keep everything away from the eyes of the public. At this time, all members of the royal family were invited to board bullet proof cars to be moved to a safe location. Khanin tried to find Charan, searching frantically for the familiar figure, but he was nowhere to be found.
“Why isn’t Phii Ran coming?” Khanin asked Chakri, who had just closed the door and sat next to the driver’s seat, and the young man then felt the uncertainty of his body, but still struggled to maintain his composure.
“Khun Charan has to stay and command Phitakthewa’s men, Your Highness.” the plump butler replied, before turning to talk with the bodyguard, who had now become the current driver in place of the regular driver.
At this point, Thawetmetha’s state guard unit had come to stand and wait for the car to be escorted. Khanin looked around again before finding someone who was looking for him.
Charan was over there… Finding himself struggling to issue orders to Phitakthewa’s remaining men, it looked like they were slowly being pushed away from each other by the human wall that surrounded them… All the time.
The distance wasn’t so far, but the feeling made him shudder with fear.
“I’ll wait…” Khanin told the driver, making the car of the young royal of the Atsawathewathin family the only one that had not yet moved out like all the other cars.
“Young Prince Khanin, you will wait…”
“I’ll wait for Charan.”
“Let’s go to the hospital first. Son, you need a check up. Charan wants your body to be thoroughly examined. He wants it to be like that.” said Tarin, exhaling before the Atsawathewathin family state’s man signaled the butler to close the door, then reached out to touch the young prince’s head lightly.
“Will you let him come?” Khanin asked in a soft voice, his expression anxious at the prospect of the response he might receive.
“Once my duty is fulfilled, he will follow.” the father replied tersely before turning to instruct the driver to set out. The authoritative tone of the person with more power than the young prince caused the driver to immediately pull out of the palace gates. Those who had been posturing nervously immediately straightened up and turned to face the departure of the car.
“Phii Ran is probably busy, we’ll see each other soon.” Khanin said as a way to console himself.
Khanin tried to reassure himself by diverting the current of his thoughts to Charan who was busy chatting with others, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the car was about to leave the palace gate. The pair’s gaze was filled with confusion and ambivalence, pain seeping out of every pore of the young man’s heart. It was as if a hand that he couldn’t see was squeezing them tightly.
Though the window tinting film made it hard to see inside the car, Khanin was certain that Charan was looking his way. His gaze was filled with confusion and ambivalence, pain seeping out of every pore of the young man’s heart. It was as if a hand that he couldn’t see was squeezing them tightly.
Khanin blinked back tears. He now knew that something was amiss…
If everything was the same, if the feelings were the same, would Charan tolerate or allow him to distance himself? Wasn’t it true that under these circumstances, he wouldn’t be here, standing next to Charan? But why did it have to be like this?
Lips pursed tightly together, Khanin tried to suppress the lump in his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to give an answer, and all he could do was stay frozen in his place, his pale face gazing out the window. His eyes darted away from Chakri’s worried gaze.
“I… to be honest, I used to wonder why I existed. If I hadn’t been born, no one would have to suffer or sacrifice themselves, and you could have lived a life that was truly your own. Father would be living in the palace, living the life everyone wants. I couldn’t answer myself clearly, except to say that it was a good thing that I was still alive. Right?”
“It’s good that we’re still here…”
“…”
“It’s good that we met.” Khanin said, and then fell silent.
Sometimes Charan might have a genuine answer, but… because of that, he might not want to be near him like before.
Khanin rubbed his eyes with the back of his small, slender hand. He heard Tarin’s inquiry, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet it. The only thing he could do, and it was hard, was to let the hot tears fall.
Khanin was in so much pain that he couldn’t do anything right now, not even in his mind. He didn’t dare hope for Charan’s forgiveness, nor to even think about going back to the days when they could stand side by side as lovers.
He knew and realized that even in his thoughts, it wasn’t appropriate. The only thing that remains in his mind is that Charan’s mother had to die to protect him from threats.
Khanin shuddered uncontrollably, and the only thing left of the brave child who had never feared anything was the body, a body that was clung to and hugged by his father for comfort.
Letting the vulnerable child inside him cry out in a pitiful voice. Tarin heard it, but he couldn’t command it to stop. The young boy felt like he had gone back to the days when he had wandered around lost.
He didn’t know what the future held, and he didn’t know anything at all.
All he knew was… no matter how much Charan’s heart changed, he would always love and hold on to the good in him.
As the red cloud covered the entire sky, and the rumbling was heard, signaling an imminent storm, the people gazing at the outside scenery were not fazed.
The fear that the tempestuous weather brought did not distract those who were sitting and looking outside.
Khanin upped the volume of the television in the living room, chasing away the silence without paying any attention to it. He let the silence cover his body and looked out aimlessly without focusing on anything.
The first news agency to publish an analysis of the events in Emmaly was Asia Times, with an analysis discussing the king’s governance.
Public opinion thinks…
The female journalist’s voice floated in one ear and out the other as she reported the news. After spending three days in the safe house for security checks in the Royal Palace, the palace returned to normal.
An immediate meeting to determine the direction of the country was held in the palace. Meanwhile, the leaders of each state held strong discussions with each other. Even the Puchongpisut Rachata, who is currently under investigation for attempted murder, could not avoid it. Because the current leader of the country, Sovereign King Dhipabawon, has become a powerless figure.
Grandfather has become paralyzed…
The bullet that Waseen left as a final appointment rushed straight into the center of the back of the old man, burying itself in the spine. Although it kept his life, the old man could no longer speak or move as he pleased as before.
The dark deeds that were kept under the rug for nearly thirty years were revealed, and old cases were re-tried again by the Parliament in the dynasty.
When they ordered an investigation, they found more evidence.
What Dhipabawon did was not just smuggling. He also tried to prevent other states from having power above him, causing many people to suffer from this loss of power.
Various evidence clearly indicated that Dhipabawon deliberately twisted the treaties between the states and carried out heinous acts for a long time just to maintain power for Aatsawathewathin.
Or maybe he just wanted to keep his own evil deeds hidden.
The old man was immediately released from his position. The Parliament passed a resolution to imprison the former Sovereign King in the most horrific place in Emmaly for two months, allowing no one to visit except for the staff who were taking care of him.
The room Dhipabawon needed to use was determined to be a clean, white room with no odor, sound, windows, or white doors. The appliances were white and the food delivery and nursing staff who came in during the day were all dressed in white.
The light bulbs that were used in the room were neon white to prevent prisoners from seeing themselves, and they were not turned off even for a minute so that the prisoner’s brain could remain alert at all times.
This was a place that Dhipabawon had ordered to be built to torment those who opposed Aatsawathewathin. The draft law was created to allow the use of this horrific place.
This mental atrocity was the beginning of the torment that Dhipabawon would suffer. The previous leader of Emmaly had to endure the feeling of emptiness, languishing, and confusion, constantly going back and forth like that forever.
Emmaly compared their sword to the law. If the sword of power and justice was used intentionally to harm others, then it had no righteousness, and it was simply a tool that was harmful to society. Remember that regardless of whether you are at the highest or lowest point of the country, the value of a person… They measured it based on his actions, reputation, and greatness that he gained without the approval of morality.
The sword…
However, when it falls into the hands of those who abuse their power, it loses its righteousness and just becomes a tool of destruction.
Be aware that as high profile figures, people measure them by their deeds, reputation, and greatness that they gained without the approval of morality.
When the leader of the country became defective, a regent, the important people in the country requested a new Sovereign King to be selected. However, all the state leaders disagreed with the old method, so they decided to govern transparently together to prevent future events that would lead to internal conflicts.
Of course, Khanin and the cousins Evaa and Ramil were present at the meeting, as they recognized the injustice of any state holding power without being reviewed by other states. As in the past, they proposed a new path for Emmaly by offering to upload all information regarding state trade and various budgets that would be used in the country onto an online platform.
This allows everyone to have access to it, including the public.
No one at the meeting objected, so technology leaders like Thawetmetha volunteered to create a platform to upload data, while Atsawathewathin had to pay the penalty imposed on the previous Sovereign King after verifying his assets by allowing the central accounting office to examine them. They also had to agree to return the seized property of others that the old man had previously confiscated and to be the facilitator for all parties without interfering with the central treasury.
On the Puchongpisut side, Rachata finally confessed to his wrongdoing and voluntarily entered prison, relinquishing his title as Prince and apologizing to everyone involved in the case. This led to a newcomer taking over the state government under; Ramil. While the cousin who was bored and with Khanin throughout, became one of the busiest state leaders in Emmaly. In addition to becoming the party to verify the assets and accounts of every state before uploading them on the platform created by Thawetmetha, they also had to transfer all work from the previous father within three days before Rachata entered custody.
As for the leader of Meenakarin… Uncle Waseen died unexpectedly, resulting in only one state in Emmaly lacking a leader. Meanwhile, the assembly selected a new person to take over since Waseen had no heirs to pass on his position.
In the state of Meenakarin, people who were affected had been comforted, and all remaining states provided assistance in every aspect, including food, livelihoods, living conditions, education, medical care, and transportation.
Although it was too late for many families to reconcile, many of them decided to return and settle in this coastal area again.
Emmaly will likely take many more years to fully restore itself to its former glory and heal the large wounds inflicted.
However, Charan’s and Khanin’s feelings… It is unclear how long it will take for them to return to normal.
For several days, Khanin has had a chance to meet Charan, but during their encounter, no one mentioned anything about what happened. Khanin admitted that he was afraid to answer.
Khanin’s eyes hid behind looking at the painting of the Delian flower on a quiet room wall, the inexplicable variety of feelings gnawing at their hearts. Since the significant event that happened that stretched until now, this young man couldn’t manage his own life.
Emmaly’s government and political situation seem to be heading in a better direction after the unanimous vote of approval from all the families. While it is not yet perfect, no one has come forward to oppose or criticize this change.
As a member of the royal bloodline, Khanin thinks that the whole story is slowly reaching a turning point, with all wrongdoers being punished for their actions.
Everything seems to be heading in the right direction, but if there is anything that is not right, it would probably be his relationship with Charan that seems to be distorted.
Since the incident, their relationship seems to have a large gap that cannot be seen with naked eyes, but it is deeply hidden and infiltrated in their minds.
Khanin does not dare to speak about the relationship and decision in the future, and he knows that Charan is the same.
Their love and relationship is not a dead end, but a crossroads that requires decision making. Khanin has been reflecting on it and has given him the path he chooses to take.
It will not be the end of this relationship.
The past stories they learned have brought Khanin those negative emotions. Even though he didn’t want to think about it and tried to forget, he couldn’t change the truth about Charan’s mother’s death.
The realization of the past relationships is much more than what Khanin can handle. Charan does not speak, and the other party continues to act as if nothing had happened, but they both know that it is not the case.
What Waseen and Dhipabawon did created huge wounds for both of them, and it was too difficult to easily overcome like the bad stories in their lives.
Because they care too much. Because they love each other so much that they cannot see past those things easily.
Khanin must fight against the negative emotions within him. He does not want to hate himself, but the words from that day still haunt him, becoming a festering wound in his heart. If left untreated, it will only cause pain.
The young royal is looking for a way to fix this, but Khanin does not want to continue to be stubborn. He does not want to ignore the problem even though he knows in his heart that it’s there.
He loves Charan, and it is a love without any conditions, a pure love that is too overwhelming to contain, even though Charan’s heart is still fragile.
“A cup of lukewarm tea like this can ease the tension.” Because he keeps thinking too much. Khanin did not hear the sound of footsteps behind.
The father sat down on the sofa across, pouring the steamy tea into the abandoned cup.
“Dad…”
“What are you thinking about?” The familiar voice did not calm the chaotic story in his mind, but seeing the face of Tanattai made him feel uneasy and a bit guilty.
He knows that since these past few days, he has caused those around him to worry, but since he cannot stop the feeling of sadness. Khanin does not know what to do. When it comes to Charan, he becomes someone who is not good at expressing his emotions.
“I am thinking about many things.”
“Do you have any idea what to do next?” Tanattai acted as if he were Khanin’s caretaker, because Khanin would not have dared to lie, those eyes that seemed to see through his thoughts in just a moment.
“….”
“Can you tell me what you want?” The gentle sentence and tone made Khanin’s eyes hot, the young man was quiet, pondering the things inside that made him unable to stop, until he finally yielded to express his thoughts to be heard by his conversation partner.
“I want to come back to my home.” It was said, but it was Khanin who felt heartbroken. He glanced at Chakri again, his butler seemed to be in shock.
The small corner of the mouth was curled up to the owner of the house. Khanin knew well that the decision at this time would have a significant impact on many people, but one thing had been true throughout, and had been since the beginning … he didn’t want to be a Prince.
Life as an ordinary person is a different choice.
“So, what is it that makes you worried? Can you tell me?”
The question from Tanattai had an answer in Khanin’s mind with eighteen thousand stories that he didn’t know whether he actually should ditch his title of nobility or not, what his father really felt, and his relationship with Charan.
“I… I am worried about Dad Tarin.” However, in the end, Khanin chose to speak out about only one thing, he lowered his eyes and kept them on the cool tea cup, releasing the mass of overwhelming feelings to expand, while Tanattai smiled slightly.
“If that’s the case …”
Don’t worry, Khanin.” The third person in this conversation arrived just in time. Tarin sat down at the table. Khanin was summoned to join the conversation.
“…”
“We, two fathers talking together, whatever makes you happy, we won’t interfere. Nin, you can live however you want.”
“Have you talked already?”
“Oh, we the-fathers have talked.” The leader of the Atsawathewathin family nodded his head, it was an agreement among them as the birth father and caretaker father of the child. Tarin understood the bond between Khanin and Tanattai well, so he had no intention of ruining the child’s happiness.
Khanin should no longer be in pain about family or life anymore.
“We want you to live the way you want, and we want you to know that everything that has happened is not your fault.”
“…” Like an important key that unlocked the young Khanin’s heart, tears appeared before the symbols of weakness emerged again.
“Whatever mistakes occurred due to other people’s decisions, it is not your fault, Khanin.” The smiles and gentle tones from both fathers were like a bandage to soothe the wounds in his heart.
“Everyone has suffered, and no one should be blamed for things that were decisions made by others, not by you, Khanin.” Tarin nodded his head slowly as he spoke in a low voice, reassuring Khanin.
Tanattai confirmed this by raising his hand to gently pat the head of his kind and righteous son, drawing a smile and tears in his eyes.
“Thank you.” Those words meant a lot to Khanin. While the problem with Charan was still unresolved, the love from Tanattai and Tarin helped alleviate some of the pain in Khanin’s heart.
“Thank you to us, but why? Your life belongs to you, it has been his since you were born.” Tarin said with a smile, loving Khanin with all his heart, even though he wasn’t the one who raised and took care of him since he was a child, as he should have.
“I am so lucky.” The young ones exclaimed with a smile and sparkle in their eyes while Tarin and Tanattai looked back with slightly raised eyebrows.
“What do you mean, Nin?”
“That I have two cool dads.” That simple sentence wasn’t an exaggeration at all, the soft laughs of the three people in the living room made this place feel warmer than before, after going through a tough time from that day.
Khanin got up from his chair and hugged his biological father, as well as his father who had taken care of him with love, while some people in the corner of the room sniffled and whimpered.
“Why are you Chakri crying?” It was Tarin who turned to ask the plump butler, who pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his eyes, bowed his head with a reddened nose, and whispered softly.
“I’m… I’m happy that the Young Prince is feeling better, Your Majesty, but… I can’t help feeling sad. It just occurred to me that I won’t be able to see him often.” Chakri can’t shake off his heartache. He himself wants the Young Prince to have his own life, but he can’t deny the deep sadness still lingering in his heart that he needs to deal with.
“I will visit everyone frequently and call. I’ll call Father every day. Is it good if I call Khun Chakri too?” The young man asked Chakri, who is his trusted butler, while the latter wiped away tears discreetly. Khanin had just left Tarin and Tanattai to embrace the person standing still with a look of empathy.
“[Sobbing]…”
“I will send a plane ticket so that you, Khun Chakri can fly to see him, right?” The young man questioned Tarin, causing the latter, who is a high ranking statesman, to chuckle softly.
I will allow him a special leave of absence or if he flies… will you go with him?” The permission from the highest authority at the moment, was like holy water that sprinkled into the withering soul of Chakri, helping him to recover.
“Th…thank you, Your Majesty.” Chakri stammered with the person of high rank, while the young butler shed a smile at the gesture.
“Thanks.” Khanin replied.
The freedom to call from Tarin was received, and Khanin walked back to sit at the table. Before the question from his father, that would make him silent.
“You go, no one will say otherwise, let me handle the matter about the people here.” Tarin’s gentle voice, as well as the look of Tanattai, indicated that both men understood the relationship between their son and Charan very well, even though they didn’t mention the other party’s name directly.
“….” Khanin was speechless, but aware of what Tarin tried to convey.
“When there is a problem. If we don’t solve it, we’ll never be able to move forward, Nin.” As his father said, sometimes he had to dig out the pus from the wound, face the pain to avoid the unseen wound from spreading.
…
The rainy season of Emmaly was about to pass, the chilly wind brought in cold air, indicating that winter would soon come. Charan Phitakthewa walked along the long path, his right hand, which was not injured, held two white chrysanthemums attached to his chest.
Both sides of the road were littered with tombs of aristocratic families. Charan’s slender legs moved slowly, not hurrying, bringing his body to stop in front of the grave of his mother, which was next to the father’s. The quietness invited a deep sigh.
The owner of the high ranked house gazed at the characters engraved on the stone plaque. Charan bowed his head and placed both flower baskets on the ground, before stepping back to stand with an unassuming posture.
The surrounding atmosphere was silent and serene, conflicting with the turmoil inside Charan’s heart. After the chaotic event, the young man spent only a few days recovering from the injuries before returning to work hard as before.
Charan valued every minute, as he had many important things to think about.
‘Phitakthewa are servant-dogs.’
To correct the wrongdoing, Charan must uproot and dispose of the parasitic plants. Anyone who has committed or supported any wrongful acts will be sent to face the full extent of the law.
Managing the internal family system is a heavy task, but even more challenging is managing one’s own emotions within the mind.
Charan wants to move past his past struggles, but it hurts too much to immediately let go and move forward.
The sound of footsteps from behind became louder, destroying the peaceful silence. Charan flinched before pausing when he saw someone waiting outside the gate.
“Nin…” Charan wasn’t surprised or prompted to question how the other knew where he was. Because before this, he was the one who sent the message to report to the other side himself, but what he didn’t expect was Khanin showing up here with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand.
“May I come in?” The questioning sentence received a nod from Charan. He went straight to the gate, unlocked it, and opened it for the young one to step into the family’s territory.
Both smiled slightly at him. Khanin quietly laid the bouquet on the grave of Charan’s parents before stepping back to show his respect.
The young royal counted his steps before standing tall in a composed posture. They allowed time to pass by, and it took several minutes before Khanin finally eased the tension with a few gentle words.
May we talk for a bit?” Their eyes evaded each other’s gaze as they waited for a response. But as soon as Charan replied, the young one’s face gradually relaxed.
They walked aimlessly together. Charan suggested going to the nearby park by the riverside, as it seemed like a suitable place for them to be.
The clock ticked lazily, and the chilly wind brushed against their skin. The sun was a huge ball of fire that slowly disappeared behind the dark clouds.
“How’s your wound, does it still hurt?” Starting the conversation with concern, Khanin had the opportunity to take care of Charan, at least for the first few days. But when the older one insisted on not needing any more time to recover, the young one had no choice but to let go.
“Not anymore… And you, Nin? How’s everything at the palace?”
“The situation there is…”
“Are you tired?” The familiar voice came with a gentle gaze, and Charan’s unchanged look lingered. They both still wished nothing but kindness and love for each other.
“It’s not your fault.” In the middle of the serene sunset, they both seemed to feel the hidden pain.
The pain they hadn’t prepared themselves for.
The oppressive silence was the medium that neither Khanin nor Charan intended to create. The pain that lurked beneath the surface was like an invisible hand that made it difficult for them to answer.
“I’m sorry.” It was strange that Charan didn’t explain or elaborate anything, but Khanin fully understood the apology. The young royal’s eyes were warm, and his small head swayed when he tried to keep his voice from shaking.
“It’s not your fault… It’s not your fault either.”
It’s… not my fault either.” The thick palm slowly touched the warm cheek. Charan didn’t speak to make Khanin feel better, but in truth, the young one had no choice in his birth, and he didn’t know about anything that happened in the past.
“Nin…” He managed to say only half of his sentence before Khanin had to stop and swallow a lump in his throat. The eggshell colored eyelids tilted towards the warmth of the hand, seeking comfort. Their conversation months ago had been another deception that hurt more than the last.
“…I guess it’s good that I’m still alive now, right?”
“It’s good to still be here…”
“…”
“It’s good that we met each other.”
The words continued to haunt him endlessly… Khanin knew that Charan was good enough to not hold a grudge, but he was still the cause that resulted in Charan losing his mother. That couldn’t be changed.
He knew that Charan understood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt. Khanin was the same. If it was someone else’s issue, a young man could easily point out what they should let go of.
But when it came to his own problems, he was afraid to even think about it. Khanin wasn’t sure if Charan still thought the same way, but seeing each other was really a good thing. Or, was it?
“Nin, do you want to say something to me?” Charan had opened the opportunity, but the other side always seemed to be able to read his thoughts, and this time probably wouldn’t be any different.
They both knew that giving themselves time… was the most important thing.
I… will go back to England…” The simple sentence that he had thought of saying hundreds or thousands of times had become difficult when he had to face the person who had taken Itti’s place in his heart.
Charan didn’t respond, the tall and dignified owner of the house remaining silent, the feelings inside swirling like a storm. Although he had made up his mind, he had always understood the needs of the young man and knew that he never wanted to be here.
However, when it was time to hear the truth from his mouth, the pain flowed in more than he had imagined.
“Have you made your decision?” The decision was difficult to make among the sounds of the final light slowly dimming from the edge of the sky.
“Yes.” Khanin wanted to invite Charan to go with him, he was sure if there weren’t any trouble that involved them, the young man would have the courage to find something that he really wanted to do.
But with the problem he had realized, it was much harder for him to bravely ask for it. His life… shouldn’t demand anything else from Phitakthewa.
Because everything that had happened before, Khanin had received it all along, from care, protection, honesty… everything, too much to dare to ask for more.
“…”
“I love you, Phii Ran.” It was probably the only thing that Khanin had reconsidered so many times that he should tell him, he didn’t want Charan to misunderstand that he didn’t love him enough that he wanted to escape.
But because he loved him so much… he didn’t want to be the one who caused harm to each other.
“I also… love you, Nin” No one could know the pain inside, they both knew well about the love they had for each other, and because they knew, that’s why they were sad.
Sad that their problem had turned out to be like this…
“I know… I will wait for you Phii.” Khanin did not intend to turn around and acknowledge this relationship. He simply stepped back to give Charan some time for himself.
“…”
“No matter how long it takes, I will wait. But if one day Phii Charan you are sure you don’t want to continue, just come and tell me… I will understand.” Saying that he understands everything, he raised the widest smile, but the image in front of him faded away. The young man tried to control his voice from trembling, but it was difficult and cold.
“Don’t cry.” He said while patting his cheek with a hand that moved up to his warm cheeks.
Khanin locked eyes with Charan, the last light of the day shone on their handsome faces, reflecting tears from the tall man’s eyes that weren’t different from his.
“Phii, don’t cry.”
“I am crying because you, Nin, are crying.”
“[Sobbing]…” Khanin didn’t want to cry, he wanted to be strong for Charan to understand, but he couldn’t control himself. His feelings were sometimes delayed, heavy, sometimes overwhelming, it was difficult to bear. In the end, the young man slipped out with a whimpering voice.
“Hold on…” Charan’s tenderness never changed. He leaned in to kiss the warm wet cheek, the end of his nose dangling, helping to wipe away tears.
The small hand rubbed into his own flesh, even more deeply touched by Charan’s tenderness. Khanin felt guilty that he had become a bad experience in Charan’s life, hoping that he could someday help both of them heal their wounds…
I have something to ask…” The owner of the small body spooned and stared at the taller one. The sulking eyes made his heart ache. Khanin took a deep breath before gathering the remaining strength to respond to the need.
“Sure?”
“If I turn around… Phii Ran, don’t call me Nin… don’t call me by that name.”
Because he might resist and not be able to let Charan go as he should. Khanin didn’t want to worry, didn’t want to guess, he would give himself time until the day he could help them both walk past the emotional trauma.
The slim figure snuggled into the person in front, closing his eyes to soak up every warm breath, every touch, and keeping this moment in mind, for the first time wishing the sun would stay longer in the sky than ever before…
Khanin didn’t want to ask for much, he just wanted to hold on to this person as long as possible.
Leave a Reply