Chap 6:
Don’t carelessly call someone a friend, because some people don’t want to be just friends.
The sleek sports car had been parked in the garage for a while, yet its young owner remained seated, lost in thought, drifting far in the darkness and silence, alone. And what Sailom was thinking about was, unsurprisingly, another man.
Someone he’d been drawn to from the first meeting, certain the feeling was mutual. It should’ve been easy to build something, but it wasn’t. The cruel irony? He was about to be a groom, and the other man was planning his wedding.
What a bitter joke.
“Sigh, Lom, how could you slip up like that?” The young man let out a long breath, closing his eyes, recalling the warm sensation lingering on his lips. Honestly, he… wanted to do more.
The groom-to-be knew full well that now wasn’t the time, that it was wrong to follow his desires. But he couldn’t help it. That pale face, soft cheeks, and vibrant lips—so striking against fair skin, glowing under dim lights—drew him in, urging him to lean down and touch, craving even more.
“What a mess.”
The young man had tried so hard to restrain himself from the start. Even if he teased, flirted, or provoked Namnuea just to see that frustrated look on his face, he made sure not to cross the line. He didn’t want the other man to think even worse of him.
A man about to get married, yet flirting with another man—no matter how you looked at it, the words “scum” and “jerk” were practically plastered across his forehead.
If it was just playful, it might’ve been fine. But with that young organizer, who made it clear that no matter how much he stole glances, he’d never cross ethical boundaries, Sailom wasn’t annoyed at all. On the contrary, it made him want to push forward even more.
If Namnuea had easily played along, knowing Sailom was about to get married, how could he trust that the man wouldn’t do the same with others later? But that very phrase—”about to get married”—had become an iron wall, trapping him in place. Cancel the wedding? Yiwa would probably kill him.
As for revealing the truth behind the marriage, he didn’t know Namnuea well enough yet. If that secret got out, everything they’d planned would collapse in ruins.
If this event fell apart, Yiwa would likely slit his throat and flush him down the toilet with the most brutal efficiency, leaving no trace of the angelic, heavenly image others saw in her.
“Sigh, you and I really met at the worst possible time,” Sailom let out a long breath before reluctantly getting out of the car, wondering what he should do next.
For now, he’d let it go, but he had no intention of stopping at just one kiss either.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he thought of ways to see Namnuea outside of work hours.
Not liking to discuss important matters over the phone? Hardly. I just want to meet face-to-face to build a connection.
“Looking awfully cheerful, aren’t you, Sailom?”
Whoosh
“Mom, you’re still up?” Before the young man could head to his room, a voice called out from the living room, making him turn to look. His smile vanished the moment he saw who was still awake, clearly waiting to ambush him.
“If I’d gone to bed, I wouldn’t have noticed my dear son sneaking out again.”
“I didn’t sneak out,” Sailom shot back quickly, walking over to his mother, who was squinting at him suspiciously. Not only that, she leaned in, sniffing as if searching for some unpleasant odor. But all he probably smelled of was the smoke from the barbecue restaurant, so she wrinkled her nose.
“Where have you been?”
“I went to the gym, then grabbed dinner with a friend. That’s why I smell like smoke, that’s all,” he explained. The person who’d been trying to control his life forever only grew sterner.
“Girl or guy?”
“Guy.”
“Alright then,” his mother relented slightly before launching into the topic he dreaded most.
“Lom, I’m not trying to catch you doing something wrong, but I just want to remind you that you’re about to get married. Back when you and Yiwa were just dating, I could turn a blind eye to your gallivanting, but now? Your wedding’s coming up soon. You should be spending more time with her. There’s so much to discuss as the date gets closer, but you two barely even see each other!”
“Yiwa and I see each other so much we’re sick of it. Not meeting for a week or two isn’t a big deal…”
Slap
“Don’t say you’re sick of her, Lom! You’re not even married yet, and you’re already saying that. How would she feel if she heard you?”
She’d probably giggle and say she’s more than sick of me
Sailom thought to himself but let his mother ramble on, too tired to argue. Only when she seemed satisfied did the young man step forward, loosely draping an arm around her shoulders with a confident smile.
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ve told you before, I’m only getting married once in this lifetime—to Yiwa, my first love, my only love, my greatest love. I promise no other woman will ever make you worry on behalf of your daughter-in-law.” She gave him a playful glare but seemed in better spirits.
“You better mean what you say.”
“I do. I swear I won’t mess with any other women.”
At that, she smiled, pride evident in her voice. “Good, son. That’s good.” That smile forced her son, who’d been hiding a certain secret all along, to look away. He leaned down, kissed her cheek, and said quickly, “I’m off to bed then. I’m exhausted today. Goodnight, Mom.” With that, he pulled away, hurrying upstairs, not lingering to hear the voice still calling after him.
“And try not to stay out so late, Lom! Yiwa might think you’re messing around with someone else.”
She doesn’t care, Mom.
Sailom thought, shaking his head wearily. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as he recalled the conversation he’d left unfinished.
“I’ll get married for you just this once, but I never said I’d stay with my bride forever,” he said with a faint smile. Then he tossed his things onto the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, his deep voice carrying a mix of amusement and exasperation.
“Honestly, that future daughter-in-law of yours is the real mastermind.” Though it started with Yiwa, he was the one carrying it forward, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. But Sailom was done with the walls trapping him, preventing him from going wherever his heart desired. So he’d see this act through to the end, and this job had to end perfectly.
…
“What’s up with Nuea today?”
“No idea, sis. He showed up, sat down, and started sighing like crazy. But his mouth? Doesn’t stop. Impressive, right? Sighing and stuffing his face at the same time.”
At that moment, Namnuea was slumped in the office, utterly listless. Yet his hands never stopped—one clutching potato chips, the other a giant Coke, munching away relentlessly. Because if his mouth wasn’t busy… it’d wander back to when it was doing something other than eating.
Crunch.
“You trying to turn into a bowling ball or what?”
“Hm, Sis Eim, when’d you get here?” Namnuea glanced at the snack thief, his voice dragging like he had no will to do anything. The listener shook her head vigorously, smacking his head with the chip bag. It didn’t hurt, but…
“Sis! They’re all crushed now! Crushed chips are harder to eat, you know!”
“Then stop eating. All you do is stuff your face. This is a workplace, not a pigsty.”
“Harsh!”
The guy accused of being a pig pouted and flopped onto the desk instead. The newcomer grew concerned, sliding over to sit beside him and returning his snacks.
“What’s wrong with you, Nuea?”
“A pig, apparently. Forgot already? Keep it up, and I’ll smack you with the chip bag.”
“Didn’t you just do that?” Namnuea retorted, chuckling at the woman ready to morph into an ogre, her face stern, brows furrowed with crow’s feet, and eyes narrowed. But maybe because they’d known each other too long, Sis Eim read him like a book. “No joking to cover it up. This isn’t a café. What’s going on?”
“Nothing…”
“Nuea, you don’t eat like this unless you’re stressed. Eating and working like this means it’s bad. Plus, the kids said you brought enough snacks to stock the kitchen. How many kilos are you planning to gain so I can sell off your extra fat for cheap?” Sis Eim came at him full force, making the guy whose stress-eating habit only worsened sigh deeply. He finally set the snacks down but still didn’t lift his head from the desk.
“Really, nothing’s wrong, Sis Eim. Just let me be,” he pleaded.
“Then get to work so I don’t have to keep prodding you.”
Guess she’s worried her husband’s business will take a hit if his employee’s like this.
Namnuea spoke sarcastically, but only in a soft tone.
“I’m waiting for a client’s call… I’m not slacking off, don’t worry, Sis,” he said. The woman observed him for a moment, then shook her head in defeat. Before leaving, she lightly patted his shoulder.
“If you say you’re fine, then you’re fine. But if you’re not, you’ve got me, okay?” The listener turned to look, catching a concerned smile that made him hesitate inexplicably. But he didn’t dare share, knowing his problem wasn’t something easily told.
If he admitted to falling for a groom-to-be, he’d only get scolded. Plus, this was… a client.
Snap.
“What’s up, Nuea?” But the man who swore he’d never speak froze when, without thinking, he grabbed his coworker’s wrist. Sis Eim turned to meet his eyes.
“I…”
“What’s with you?” Namnuea hesitated briefly, but perhaps because the issue was weighing so heavily on him, he asked softly, “Is it wrong, Sis, to… to secretly like someone who’s taken?”
“It’s not wrong,” Sis Eim replied instantly, almost making him smile—until she continued just as quickly. “But it’s not right either. Liking someone secretly isn’t wrong, as long as you don’t become the third wheel. But it’s not right to risk your heart on something you know is impossible. I believe in karma. Even if you dive in and steal them, and even if you succeed, do you think there won’t be consequences? You hurt their partner, and eventually, you’ll get hurt too.” Her words came in a rush, leaving the listener pale.
Sis Eim must’ve noticed, as she softened her tone. “Don’t put your heart at risk, Nuea. It’s not worth it.”
Exactly.
Namnuea already knew he shouldn’t be anyone’s third wheel, but he still wanted to ask, to be sure his decision was right. Yet deep down, a part of him wondered… if Khun Lom wasn’t married yet, would two months from now mean he’s still single? But his colleague’s words snapped him back.
Now or later, Khun Lom is getting married. If he played along, who’d end up hurt? None other than Nuea himself.
“By the way, who do you like?”
Gasp!
Oh no, who would’ve thought she’d turn the tables and ask back?
“I don’t know him,” Namnuea could only mumble softly, prompting a sweet smile from Sister Eim.
“Good! If I don’t know him, that means he’s not a client. Having a crush on someone who’s taken is wrong, but having a crush on someone who’s about to get married? That’s a sin, Nuea. Don’t even think about it. No matter which groom it is, don’t you dare. I’ll allow you to look, but nothing more than that, got it?” Namnuea was sweating buckets, feeling hot and cold, goosebumps all over, forcing a laugh to brush it off as a joke.
“Crazy, Sis! How many grooms about to get married would turn out to be gay?”
“Don’t underestimate a marriage of convenience,” she warned. “I’ve seen it plenty. The latest was with my close friend, no less. The groom was just putting up a front. When the bride pressured him too much, he gave in and agreed to marry. Only later did she find out he already had a lover. And get this, Nuea, that lover even showed up at the wedding! Ugh, they’re in the middle of a divorce now.”
A marriage of convenience… really?
Suddenly, Namnuea was struck by the phrase. He glanced at his senior, still ranting about her friend’s man, then looked away, angry at himself.
Angry for feeling a flicker of hope at the idea of a sham marriage. But in a fleeting moment, the words of the man about to wed echoed painfully in his mind.
Khun Lom had said he was willingly marrying Khun Yiwa. This wasn’t a marriage of convenience. “Ugh, whatever, Sis. I’m off to work. And give me back my snacks—I spent a fortune on them,” Namnuea deflected, not wanting his true feelings exposed, before firmly telling himself:
He wouldn’t let it go any further. Once the wedding was over, there’d be no reason for their paths to cross again. He just had to get through it, and that was it.
…
“Lom, what’s the meaning of this?!”
“What’s going on here, Mom… Hello, Auntie.”
The moment Sailom stepped into the house, his mother’s furious voice rang out, making him turn in surprise. He almost sighed when he saw who was sitting beside her—none other than his future mother-in-law.
With everyone gathered like this, it was bound to be a headache. “Lom, are you really not increasing the guest list?”
There it was. The first sentence, and he was already tempted to shake his head.
“Yes, Yiwa and I have discussed it,” he replied. The other party’s face clearly showed displeasure, likely because they couldn’t persuade their daughter and had teamed up with his mother instead.
“How can you decide without consulting your parents?” his mother interjected. He responded calmly:
“I’ve talked to Dad, and he’s already agreed.”
“How could he agree? His guests alone number in the hundreds. We can’t just not invite them—they’re all important people.” Sailom barely held back a sigh, maintaining his usual poker face, even though this issue had been discussed multiple times. Both his mother and Yiwa’s mother wanted a grand wedding, but he and Yiwa didn’t.
A wedding is about inviting people to celebrate, but if they don’t want a celebration, why call so many people?
“Then I’ll wait for Fon’s wedding instead.”
“Lom!”
“Mother, no matter how many times you call me, I’ll stick to what I said: I’ll limit the number of guests. That’s it. I’ve already discussed this with Yiwa. At first, we wanted a small wedding, but you wouldn’t agree. I’ve compromised until the event has grown this big, so what more do you want?” the young man asked in a serious tone, but his mother still looked displeased.
“And you, Aunt, Yiwa has probably already told you that we won’t make the event any bigger. No matter how much you try to persuade me or Yiwa, it’s the same—we don’t want a big wedding,” he said, turning to another person. That person seemed about to argue, but before they could, his mother interjected, “Can’t you do this one thing for me?”
It was the same phrase he’d heard so many times, but it felt like the final straw. Sailom turned sharply and said just one sentence:
“Marrying at all should already be more than enough for you.”
“Sailom!”
Even though his mother called out loudly, the young man was done listening. He spun around, walked out of the house, and, unable to suppress his anger, lashed out, making the other party lose face even more. He was fed up, having endured enough of doing everything his mother wanted.
So, he decided to follow his own heart for once.
Sailom grabbed his phone and called the person he desperately wanted to see.
“Khun Nuea? Can you meet me? I’m begging you.”
He knew he shouldn’t do this, but his emotions were overwhelming, and Nuea was the reason for them all.
Even though Namnuea had firmly stated they wouldn’t meet outside of work matters, the tense tone of the groom-to-be made him worry. Despite trying to stay resolute and refuse, hearing the plea made it impossible to resist.
[I’m begging you, please meet me. I don’t know what to do anymore.]
“But I have work.”
[That’s fine. I’ll wait until you can come. Please meet me.]
Even though he was worried it might be some kind of trick, Namnuea couldn’t help but be concerned. The plea to wait and the location—a hotel bar—made him wonder what could be wrong for someone to drink alone like that. So instead of turning the car back to his condominium, the young man drove straight to the hotel.
“Just check that everything’s okay and leave… that’s all, Nuea,” he told himself firmly every time, only to fail miserably every time.
Nuea let out a heavy sigh, frustrated with his own habits. But once he arrived, he stepped into the bar, scanning the room for the person who had caught his eye from the first moment. It didn’t take long to spot the cause of his visit, sitting quietly and drinking in the innermost corner.
“Have you been here long, Khun Lom?”
“Khun Nuea.”
He looked like he’d been drinking for a while.
The sharp, handsome face that looked up was flushed redder than usual, the sweet eyes different from any other time, the deep voice slightly slurred, and the wide smile—rarely seen otherwise—all told Namnuea that the other man was in high spirits. And then there were the words…
“I’m so glad you came,” the tone unmistakably joyful, unlike the usual unreadable demeanor.
“You begged me so much, how could I not? Is something wrong?” the young organizer replied cautiously, steering the conversation to why he’d come all this way. It seemed to dim the smile; those sharp eyes turned back to the glass of liquor, staring at it as if lost in thought.
He really does seem to have a problem.
With that thought, Nuea ordered a drink for himself, as if giving the other man time to think quietly. Even though he didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to get any closer, now that he was here, he wasn’t heartless enough to leave someone struggling alone. Until…
“What do you think about a guy my age still fighting with his mom?”
“You had a fight with your family?” the listener asked, surprised. This man seemed too proud to share personal problems with anyone. But it was as if he genuinely wanted an answer; those sharp eyes locked onto him, unwavering.
“If you’re asking what I think… it’s not strange at all. Everyone has their own problems. Even me—still arguing with my family to this day because I insisted on coming to Bangkok, when they want me to go back and work at home.” He wasn’t sure why he shared his own story, but seeing Sailom’s expression brighten made it feel worthwhile.
“I fought with my mom about a wedding. Hah, pretty pathetic, right? My mouth says I can handle everything, but in reality, I can’t even settle things with them.”
Why did it feel so good that the other man trusted him enough to share his troubles? Did it mean… he was trusted?
“What’s the matter? Is there anything I can help with…?”
“Are you helping as an event organizer or in some other capacity?”
Gulp
Namnuea knows not to take a madman seriously, nor to argue with a drunk, but with the other party probing like this, he’s starting to get angry.
“Can I help in some other capacity too?” There’s no role beyond that.
“And you, what did you call me out here for? Wouldn’t it be better to discuss these things with your friends? Why bring it up with just an event organizer like me?” Namnuea retorts, his tone clouded. Sailom gives a faint smile and counters, “Who else could I discuss this with? Besides, you must deal with this kind of thing often… Don’t you have any advice for me?”
So, you called me here as an event organizer after all. What are you hoping for, Nuea?
When he hears the phone ring, he’s both anxious and worried. But one thing he tries to deny, though he can’t, is that Namnuea is hoping. Deep down, he secretly feels good about being called when the other is in trouble because it makes him feel… special. So special that he accidentally hopes for things he shouldn’t.
Didn’t you say you wouldn’t get involved with him? But when he talks like this, it hurts, doesn’t it, Nuea? You’re pathetic. “That’s why I said you need to sort this out with your family first. Marriage… it’s not just about two people. No matter how much you… love each other, a wedding means marrying both families too.” Namnuea holds his breath slightly before saying the word “love,” because… it hurts.
So, you’re really in love with someone who’s taken, huh?
Repeating it to himself, Namnuea lowers his head, missing the gaze directed at him… a gaze that speaks of how much it longs to touch.
“You asked me what I called you here for, right?” Suddenly, the drunk changes the subject, so he shakes his head.
“I don’t want to know anymore.” Knowing would only hurt his heart.
“But I want to tell you.”
That makes Namnuea turn back to meet his eyes, and his little heart trembles because he sees something he shouldn’t… tenderness.
A deep, meaningful look that shouldn’t be directed at him, not to mention the large hand reaching to touch his cheek. But because he turns away, it slides to lightly brush the back of his hand instead. Then Sailom speaks with a serious tone.
“As a friend, is that okay?”
Gulp
“Can you and I be friends?”
Namnuea was angry, but he was angry at himself… angry that disappointment was crashing over him, even though he should be glad the relationship wouldn’t go any further. But just hearing that the man who looked at him with such deep eyes only saw him as a friend… it hurt so much he could barely force a smile.
Friends, huh?
“Hmm… not as a client, but can you see me as your friend?” Namnuea knew his smile must look strained, but he still forced himself to ask.
“You see me as a friend, right?”
“Yeah. Can I thank you as a friend?”
So, the affection he’d felt from him before… it was just as a friend, was it?
Namnuea was only now realizing how much the word “friend” could hurt.
Good job, Namnuea. This means you haven’t wronged Khun Yiwa. You’re just friends… just friends.
That thought should’ve made him feel better, but in truth, Namnuea felt inexplicably awful. He didn’t feel any less guilty—not toward Khun Yiwa, but toward himself. He couldn’t move forward the way his heart wanted.
For the first time, he truly hated the word “friend” with all his heart.

Chap 7:
‘Accidentally’ is just an excuse for those who’ve done wrong.
“Khun Lom, stay still, will you?”
“Ugh, hmph… I’m fine. I’m fine,” he slurred.
“If you’re fine, then walk straight,” Namnuea sighed heavily, half-dragging the handsome groom, who was completely wasted, up to his hotel room. He let out a huge breath of relief once he finally managed to deposit the tall man’s limp form onto the large bed.
“Here you go, thanks,” Nuea handed a hundred-baht note to the hotel staff who’d helped, watching as they left and closed the door. Only then did he turn his attention back to the man who’d called him out.
“So, why did you call me here?”
Besides mentioning a fight with his family, Sailom hadn’t said much else and was drinking liquor like it was water. Namnuea had considered leaving early to avoid the awkwardness, but he wasn’t heartless. Plus, he was worried about how someone that drunk would get home. And, as expected… the big guy had collapsed, completely out of it.
Even though he knew where Sailom’s house was, driving him home wasn’t an option. And… he wasn’t sure how he’d get back himself. Taking him to his own place felt even more inappropriate. So, Namnuea’s solution was to book a room here instead. Let the drunk guy deal with the bill himself later.
Now, here he was, standing with his hands on his hips, staring at the intoxicated man.
“Mmm,” the man groaned softly, shifting his head as if searching for a comfortable position before going still, prompting a heavy sigh from Namnuea.
If every sigh shortened his life by a day, a single day with this guy would probably cost him a year. “Damn it!” he muttered, glaring at the drunk man before softening. Cursing himself, he turned and headed to the bathroom. Rolling up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, he grabbed a small towel, dampened it with warm water, and returned to the room.
“Why is it me taking care of you instead of your fiancée?” Namnuea sometimes wanted to complain to the heavens about what kind of joke this was. But calling Khun Yiwa near midnight to say the groom was plastered might cause more trouble. In the end, he just slumped onto the edge of the bed in resignation.
“Ugh!”
“Stubborn, huh? You’re such a brat,” Nuea said, wrinkling his nose slightly. When he tried to dab the towel on the man’s cheek, the other swatted his hand away, making him scold in exasperation, though a charming smile tugged at his lips.
Normally, this guy seemed in control of everything, but today, he was just a helpless kid unable to solve his problems.
“Come on, it’s just a friend helping a friend,” Namnuea reassured himself, feeling more at ease. He wiped along the man’s jawline, while his other hand moved to unbutton the man’s shirt, planning to clean him up and head home. But…
“Wrong move,” he thought. As the last button came undone, revealing a broad chest covered only by a white tank top, his heart raced. His eyes couldn’t tear away from the wide shoulders, let alone the firm, sculpted chest, its contours visible even through the fabric. And that abdomen…
Gulp.
Unable to resist, Nuea placed his hand on the hard, muscular stomach. The heat radiating through his palm made him flinch, and he glanced at the sharp, handsome face still fast asleep. Taking a deep breath, he thought, Just a little touch as payment for my time, right?
Convincing himself that he might never get this chance again, he grabbed the towel, lifted the hem of the tank top, and gently wiped the chiseled abdomen. His wide eyes stayed fixed, unblinking, as his other hand couldn’t resist touching the warm skin.
His fingertips grazed the heated skin that had once warmed his face, lightly brushing the dark, sexy trail of hair and tracing the beautiful muscle lines, unable to hold back.
That’s enough, Nuea. This is enough. This is already too wrong.
Though he thought he wanted to pull his hand back, his emotions surged far beyond that, until his palm slid up to touch the broad chest, caressing it lightly, forcing him to take deep breaths to regain his senses. But the other man’s scent seemed to overpower every other smell in the room, making him even more dazed.
Slap
“Enough, gotta stop!” He had to slap his own face with his other hand to snap out of the intoxicating spell he was falling under, then stood up to his full height.
“Go home, enough, gotta stop!” The one who had secretly taken advantage of the drunken man told himself firmly. No more teasing, no more crossing lines, afraid things would go too far. But then…
Grab
“But I don’t want you to stop.”
In an instant, Namnuea flinched, startled, because the man he thought was asleep suddenly gripped his wrist tightly, forcing him to turn and look…
Crash!
“Ouch!” In the brief moment he saw the other man smiling, his body swayed and collapsed, falling onto Sailom on the large bed, completely unprepared. His eyes widened, both hands trying to push himself up from the bed, but doing so made him… meet those eyes.
The tea-colored eyes reflected the room’s light, sparkling with a deep, captivating glint, as if they could pull his soul into their sweet gaze. The large hand still held his wrist tightly as the sharp-featured face moved closer.
“Y-You’re not asleep?”
Namnuea was both scared and embarrassed that the other man was awake and aware of his actions, while the other chuckled low in his throat.
“Asleep, but woken up by you.”
And that “waking” probably wasn’t just from a dream but included something else that had clearly stirred, making Namnuea jump. He wanted to pull away, but he was pinned by those sweet, alcohol-glazed eyes. His heart pounded like a drum, his lips so dry he had to lick them.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“No… no need to apologize… because I want you.” With that, warm lips pressed onto his vibrant ones, quick and firm, sending a shock through his entire body, like an electric current racing through him. He could only stammer, voice trembling.
“But it’s not right.”
“Please.”
Namnuea hates himself because, at that sweet, pleading whisper, he… closes his eyes.
His pale body yields, pulled down onto the large bed, hearing the clear rustle of clothes brushing against each other. Hot lips press against his vibrant ones, sealing tightly, pressing until they feel each other’s essence. Then begins a nibbling, teasing dance that sets his heart trembling.
Snap
Namnuea truly can’t stop himself. He raises both hands to wrap around the strong neck, parting his lips to welcome the tongue that delves deep inside. He tastes the mix of alcohol and gentle sweetness, intoxicating him into responding with fierce passion.
This must be the liquor’s fault.
“Mmm… mm… Khun Lom… kiss…” The sound of kisses echoes through the wide room, blending with soft moans in his throat. Namnuea’s hands tangle in the dark hair, as their tongues slide against each other, wet and slick, turning the kiss so sweet it steals their breath.
“Nuea, Khun Nuea…”
The other pulls back slightly to lock eyes, and in that moment, Namnuea forgets everything.
“Khun Lom,” his hands around the neck pull the other closer, whispering as if pleading. Warm lips press down without hesitation, sending heat through their fervent tongues, neither yielding. If one pulls back, the other pursues, pressing close with no time to rest. Then his hands slide to broad shoulders, feeling their firmness, as he tries to tug the other’s shirt off.
Sailom cooperates fully, and soon the shirt and undershirt are tossed beside the bed. Namnuea doesn’t even realize he’s propped himself up to shed his own shirt as the other pulls it off him.
“Mmm… Khun Lom…” Both their upper bodies bare, they move closer, skin brushing until it flushes faintly. Their breaths grow ragged from the tingling desire coursing through them.
“Khun Lom… gulp…”
“You smell… you smell good all over.”
Hot lips scatter kisses across pale cheeks, trailing down to the neck. A tongue traces the prominent Adam’s apple, then moves to the enticing collarbone, the soft, pale chest, pausing at the tantalizingly soft, pale peaks.
Slurp
“Ah!” The moment the tongue flicks the sensitive bud on his chest, Namnuea jolts, clinging to the other’s neck, biting his lip in pain as waves of pleasure assault his body. All he can do is arch his chest, offering it up for the other to devour freely. His heart races uncontrollably, with only his ragged breaths attempting to quell the burning desire, though it does little to help.
Warm lips suck one side until it’s red and swollen, then shift to the other, teasing as if drawing out milk. Namnuea feels both faint and electrified, but he doesn’t want to stop. His legs entwine with the other’s, while his hands roam across the broad back.
“You’re adorable from head to toe, you know that?” The low, husky whisper left Namnuea unable to think straight. A large hand was kneading his sensitive lower parts, the touch so intense it felt like his body might explode. Then, his pants and underwear were pulled down to his ankles, and the other man shed his own clothes. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Namnuea’s lips.
Their bare bodies rubbed against each other, radiating heat and desire. The large hand continued its relentless caress, drawing incoherent moans from Namnuea as he gasped heavily, parting his legs to allow the other to ease a finger into his tight warmth.
The first finger, then the second, and the third moved with gentle care, making his body tremble. Namnuea could only arch his back like a drawn bow, his face twisting against the soft pillow.
“Khun Lom… ngh… hah… please… I can’t… I can’t take it…” His shaky moans filled the air as the other man teased him to the point his body screamed with need. Waves of emotion crashed over him like a raging tide. Namnuea shuddered violently as warm lips returned to kiss his own, and he clutched at the other man as if trying to release the pressure in his chest.
But it didn’t help. It only fueled the fire of his desire, and he surrendered completely, abandoning all sense of right and wrong.
“Be mine, Nuea. Be mine.”
The sweet words whispered in his ear made him cast aside all dignity. He threw his arms around the man’s neck, letting out a soft, endearing moan in response, earning a searing kiss as a reward. His body screamed with pleasure as the burning heat began to fill him, inch by inch, until he was nearly overwhelmed.
“Khun Lom… you… hah…”
“Nuea… you’re mine… you’re mine now…”
The large bed rocked with their movements as their bodies became one. Soft moans echoed through the room, a testament to the scorching passion between them. The sound of skin against skin formed a fervent rhythm, swaying and trembling, resonating in both their hearts.
Sweat dripped down their bodies, but neither cared. There was only the driving force of desire consuming them, touching again and again, pulling them deeper into a lust that showed no signs of waning. On the contrary, it grew stronger… stronger… stronger…
“Khun Lom…” Namnuea reached out to touch the man’s sweat-slicked cheek, urging him to meet his gaze. Their eyes locked, and the tender, loving look in the other’s eyes nearly shattered his heart. He whispered softly, “Kiss me, please.”
It was a request the other man was more than willing to fulfill. The gentle, sweet touch of their lips was more overwhelming than the intensity their bodies were experiencing. The whispered words made Namnuea close his eyes, letting himself go, wanting nothing more than to savor the bliss of this moment.
“Nuea… my love.”
“Gasp! Sailom, Khun Lom!” Namnuea could only let out a loud moan, calling the other’s name as his body erupted in ecstasy, seeing stars twinkling before his eyes. His hands wrapped around the man’s neck, pulling him into a tender kiss, while the other tensed, embracing the fleeting joy of this moment… but not forever.
…
The bliss of the night would transform by morning.
Namnuea hadn’t woken up with a pounding headache in ages, but today it felt like his head might explode. His brows furrowed deeply as he opened his eyes to unfamiliar walls. It took several minutes to piece together why his body felt so drained. And when he did…
His pale face whipped to the side, eyes widening in shock.
Khun Lom!
The young Nuea nearly cried out, but he clamped his mouth shut just in time. His heart pounded—not with joy, but with guilt gnawing at his soul.
He had just slept with someone else’s groom!
Plink.
Namnuea couldn’t stop the tears streaming down his cheeks.
Now, he remembered everything: every heated moment, every longing, every desire, and every tender act… that now tormented his heart.
His wide eyes traced the sharp, sleeping face—from the thick, dark brows to the prominent nose, the closed eyelids, and the lips that had whispered words of love all night. Even the faint stubble on his cheeks. He took in every detail as tears fell silently, his heart corroded by guilt.
What had he done last night?
Cursing himself, instead of waking the other to confront their shared mistake, the young organizer slid off the bed as quietly as possible. He stepped down, drained of strength, and hurriedly gathered his scattered clothes—evidence of last night’s events—dressing quickly, his hands trembling.
“I have to get home,” his pale figure whispered shakily, steadying himself. If he stayed here any longer, he’d only show more weakness.
Damn it, he was still crying.
Wiping his face, he found tears still flowing. He rushed to the bathroom, splashed water on his face as fast as he could, and fled the room before Sailom could wake.
Let him think he slept with someone else—it’d be easier to face than the truth.
Please let him be too drunk to remember. Please let him be too drunk to remember.
Namnuea repeated to himself, as if praying to God. Then he hurriedly stepped out of the bathroom, intending to leave the room. But…
“Where are you going?”
“No way,” Namnuea groaned, barely able to contain himself. As he stepped out of the bathroom, the man who should still be out cold… was sitting up.
He was stared at so intensely it was hard to control himself, but Namnuea mustered every ounce of strength to flash a smile at the other man and ask in a normal tone, “Awake already, Khun Lom?”
“Where are you going, Nuea?” Instead of answering, the other man repeated the same question, this time using his name.
The name whispered so intimately throughout the night. Namnuea trembled but took a deep breath, forcing a smile and raising an eyebrow as if confused. “Home, of course. I watched over a drunk guy all night until he woke up. You can take care of yourself now, right?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” The other man’s brows furrowed tighter, his once-sweet gaze now tinged with anger. The young organizer tilted his head, feigning innocence.
“What’s that? Too drunk to remember? Last night you were wasted, you threw up, so I had to strip you down and clean you up. Plus, you looked like you could go wild any second, so I had to stay and watch you until morning.”
Namnuea tried to laugh it off like a joke, denying the truth of last night. He just needed the other man to remember nothing, to let him be the only one who recalled the mistake of the night before.
Khun Lom is about to be a groom, and we’re working for him. Let it go no further than this.
“Nuea.” But the other man called his name with a tone laced with anger, swiftly rising from the soft bed and stepping quickly toward him. Namnuea turned his face away.
“You should put some clothes on first.”
Grab
“Why are you talking like this?” Instead of complying, Sailom grabbed his wrist tightly. His sharp eyes gleamed as he asked in a tone of disbelief. Namnuea had to swallow every feeling inside, taking a deep breath to rein in his scattered senses.
“How else should I talk when nothing happened?”
“‘Nothing happened… when I had you moaning under me all night?!”
He remembers.
Nuea almost couldn’t suppress his flinch, but he kept up the innocent smile and asked, as if clueless,
“What do you mean?”
“Namnuea!” Sailom’s hands grip his shoulders firmly, forcing him to meet his gaze. His voice is sharp with anger and confusion, while Namnuea screams silently in his heart.
Please don’t understand. Let it be just one night and nothing more.
“What is it? I need to get home. I have work today.”
“Namnuea, you’re my wife!”
“But you’re getting married!!!”
Namnuea wants to cry because he couldn’t stop himself in time. The moment those words left the other’s mouth, he shouts back even louder, baring his heart completely, along with… tears.
Why can’t you hold it together? You’re supposed to be more professional than this. It was just a one-night stand.
“Have you forgotten, Khun Lom? You’re getting married soon. Why would you call me your wife? Forget it. Forget what we did. Forget what happened last night. Forget it all. Have you forgotten you already have Khun Yiwa? It was just a mistake. We were drunk, and it was a mistake. It’s nothing more than that—just a mistake. Do you understand me, Khun Lom? Do you understand?!!”
He can’t stop the outburst, can’t stop the tears streaming from both eyes as he looks up to meet the other’s gaze.
“Forget it, please. Forget the mistake that happened last night.”
Forget me, please. I don’t want to be known as the one who ruined someone’s family.
Namnuea knows he’s a coward, but he can’t accept the wrong he’s done, so he has to say it… even as the other grips his shoulders tightly and looks at him with disappointed eyes.
Who’s the one who’s disappointed? Isn’t it me… not you?
“You call it a mistake, Nuea?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Nuea, answer me—is it a mistake?!” The other’s anger is unmistakable, his hands squeezing Namnuea’s shoulders so tightly it hurts. But the pain elsewhere in Namnuea is far worse, incomparable.
“I told you not to call me so familiarly like that.”
“Nuea!!!”
Perhaps it was the shout and those eyes filled with disappointment.
“Yes, it was a mistake, you hear me? It was a mistake!!!”
In the end, the one trying to act like nothing happened shouted loudly, shrugging off the grip on his shoulder and unleashing his emotions with no patience left.
“It was all a mistake! You slipped up, I slipped up, we just slipped up!!!”
“But I didn’t slip up.”
Namnuea nearly faltered when Sailom spoke firmly. Those eyes, once filled with confusion, now held a serious intensity, and he couldn’t deny the tenderness in them—too much for his heart to bear. He bit his lip hard, took a deep breath, steeled himself, and turned away.
“I want to take responsibility for what happened…”
“No. I don’t want that. I’m not a woman. Once or twice doesn’t matter to me. More importantly… what are you going to do about your bride?” Sailom paused briefly, as if making a decision. Out of fear, Namnuea took several steps back, shaking his head slowly before the other could say anything.
He didn’t want Sailom to say he’d choose him. He didn’t want to be the wrongdoer, the third party in someone’s relationship.
This Namnuea would never be a homewrecker. Sister Eim would never ruin anyone’s wedding.
Thinking this, he backed up until he hit the door, shaking off the hand reaching for him, and pleaded in a trembling voice.
“I’m begging you, Khun Lom, forget it… please forget it. Don’t kill me with the guilt of what I’ve done… Thank you for everything, but please forget it all. I’ll forget too, the moment I leave this room. We’ll just be the wedding planner and the client… I’m asking you, please.”
Namnuea couldn’t stop the tears streaming down his face as he met the other’s gaze. He swallowed the pain—pain he hadn’t thought could hurt this much—and spoke. Then, without waiting to hear anything more, he turned and rushed out of the room before his sense of right and wrong could falter like it had last night.
“Good job, Nuea, good job.”
He wiped his face with the back of his hand, tears spilling from the ache in his chest, along with a truth he didn’t want to face.
He… had fallen in love with Khun Sailom.
A love that could never come true, just a dream in the night.
Morning had come… it was time to wake from the dream.
He stumbled back to his car, drained of strength, collapsing onto the steering wheel and sobbing uncontrollably. The man’s gaze, his voice, his actions from the night before flashed through his mind.
His heart ached so much he could barely breathe.
Don’t call me Nuea, don’t call me your wife, don’t call me anything when you have a beautiful fiancée waiting for you.
“Hic, sob, damn it, Nuea… you idiot… such an idiot!”
An idiot for falling in love with a man who’s already taken.
Tears streamed down, soaking the steering wheel. His hands clutched his chest tightly as he whispered to himself in a trembling voice.
“It was just a mistake. Just a mistake.”
A mistake of giving in, of letting his heart slip, of offering his feelings.
A mistake—an excuse for someone who knows full well how wrong they were.
A mistake he never imagined could cause such excruciating pain.
The pain was so overwhelming that Namnuea didn’t even know how he drove back to his apartment without crashing. He could only drag himself, eyes red, back to his room, call in sick, and collapse onto his bed, crying. He told himself that today was the only day Nuea would be weak. Tomorrow, he’d be the strong, capable Namnuea again.
But for now, the capable man could only call the one person who mattered most, the one who could comfort him best.
“Mom, I miss you. I miss home.”
The one he was sure loved him unconditionally… not someone already bound to another. He spoke through tears.
“I want to hug you, want you here.”
No physical exhaustion could compare to the mental fatigue he felt now.

Chap 8:
Loving someone who’s taken is bad enough, but loving someone about to get married is even worse.
“What’s wrong with Nuea?”
“No idea, boss, but it looks serious. I waved snacks under his nose, and he didn’t even flinch.”
“He’s practically in a coma!”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
At this moment, the staff at The Wiwa Square realized a national crisis was unfolding in the office. It was serious enough to warrant closing the meeting room, gathering everyone for an emergency discussion, and the agenda for today’s meeting was none other than… the abnormal behavior of Namnuea.
It started with a workaholic who never took a day off, never went on vacation, except when struck by the flu two years ago. Even then, after calling in sick, he showed up the next day looking like a wreck—pale, red-eyed, gaunt, like a walking patient. But what made everyone cover their mouths and widen their eyes in disbelief was…
“I’m not hungry.”
A heartbreaking sentence that shouldn’t have come from someone who loved to eat, who could devour anything no matter how stressed, depressed, or down they were. On top of that, he said he’d skip lunch to keep working. No matter who dangled snacks in front of him, he didn’t even twitch. Even when Sister Eim, despite her health-conscious rules, splurged on pizza for the whole office, Namnuea showed no interest, just sat there, chin in hand, sighing heavily.
Even though work didn’t slow down—in fact, it moved faster than usual because the guy worked non-stop without eating or resting—the office felt lifeless. No crunching sounds, no banter from the usual dynamic duo. It was too much like a graveyard. So, during the sacred lunch break, everyone sacrificed their time to huddle together.
“Sis, have you talked to Nuea yet?”
“Talk about what? He’s all ‘yeah, uh-huh, mm’—barely a few words. I invited him for dinner, and he still wouldn’t go,” one of the younger girls said, making Sis Eim clutch her head. She glanced around, and everyone shook their heads, wondering what was wrong with him. Sis Eim had a suspicion from the start—could he have been heartbroken? “What? Nuea, heartbroken?!”
“Shh! Why are you all shouting like that?!” Sister Eim, the team’s big sister, pressed a finger to her lips, nervously glancing toward the meeting room door. The scolded group quieted down a bit but still whispered excitedly. How could this not be juicy? “Is that even possible, Sis? Nuea, of all people? He’s at the office all day—when he’s not with clients, he’s with us. Sure, he goes out for shoots often, but we’ve never seen him with anyone,” one of the team analyzed. Sis Eim sighed, unsure herself. But before the gossip—er, discussion—could go further…
Knock, knock, knock
The meeting room door was tapped, making everyone jump and straighten up from their huddle. When it opened, the group flinched again.
“What are you all doing?” The man of the hour stepped in.
“Nothing, Nuea, nothing!” The room erupted in high-pitched denials. The newcomer shook his head and turned to his close colleague.
“Sister Eim, I’m heading to the studio in Sukhumvit.”
“Oh, which couple’s pre-wedding shoot is today?” The question made him pause slightly, and he gave a faint smile. “Khun Yiwa’s couple, scheduled for today. I’ll head out now.” Namnuea hesitated, as if he wanted to say something but didn’t. He just flashed a weary smile and turned to leave. As everyone let out a collective sigh of relief, the man in question popped his head back in, as if remembering something.
“Oh, and when you gossip about someone, try to be more subtle.”
“Hey, no way!” The group jumped again as Namnuea continued.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Stop gossiping already. I’m not heartbroken, just on a diet.” With that, the subject of the rumors steps out immediately. The others exchange glances and murmur softly.
“How did he know?” Sister Eim’s question makes everyone give awkward smiles.
Well, with the whole office buzzing, leaving only Nuea sitting there sighing heavily alone, of course he’d know he’s the topic.
“Alright, let’s scatter. If he says he’s fine, he’s fine,” Sister Eim finally tells everyone, though her face shows concern. Her gut’s telling her something, and it’s not a pleasant feeling.
Don’t tell me Nuea’s secretly in love with the person I’m thinking of.
Please let me be overthinking this, Nuea. Please let it not be true.
(If you’re tired, come back home, dear. Nuea, you don’t have to exhaust yourself there. If you still want to work with weddings, there are big studios near home. With your skills, anyone would hire you.)
Namnuea lets out a heavy sigh, recalling the conversation with his mother from last week. Truthfully, that night happened almost two weeks ago. He’s been trying to forget it by throwing himself into work. The other party hasn’t contacted him, which relieves him that the matter won’t drag on. But no matter how hard he works during the day to forget, the lonely nights still torment his heart.
The events of that night haunt him every evening, making him remember, making him yearn, making him long to be looked at with those tender eyes. But since that’s impossible, a loneliness he’s never felt before forces him to seek refuge. He might be called ungrateful, but Namnuea turns to his mother.
Never calling for ages, but running to Mom when there’s trouble—you’re really awful.
Cursing himself to his heart’s content, Nuea makes the call. Every day, he whines to his mother, saying he misses her, saying he wants to see her. Though he doesn’t explain what happened, a mother can sense her child’s heartache. So, the one who’s always let him do whatever he wanted since school days starts suggesting he come home, visit, or return if he can’t handle it.
At first, he hesitated, but now, Nuea is leaning toward the idea.
All I do here is overthink. Wouldn’t it be better to go home?
But no matter how he tries to escape reality, time marches forward. The scheduled day for the pre-wedding photoshoot arrives. Delaying would mess up editing, retouching, and the video for the wedding. Plus, after this, they need to finalize the invitation design and favors. Everything has a timeline, and it can’t bend to the strength of Namnuea’s heart.
I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to hear about them. I don’t want anything to do with this couple anymore. But he can’t abandon his responsibilities.
After greeting the familiar photographer and going over the concept again to ensure they were on the same page, Namnuea slipped away to make himself a coffee, his heart heavy with an indescribable wilted feeling.
It was just one night together, so don’t let your heart get so attached to him.
He sighed deeply, turning his back to the door, lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to the sounds around him. He didn’t notice that the client he’d scheduled had arrived early—or that the person he least wanted to see was standing behind him, watching.
“Ugh, just work a few more hours, and you won’t have to see his face anymore.”
“You really don’t want to see me that much?”
Gasp!
The familiar voice, the one he dreamed of every night, came from behind him. Namnuea flinched hard, whipping around in shock. The hand gripping his paper cup nearly crushed it. His eyes widened, staring at the man he couldn’t banish from his heart.
The man looked no different from usual—still handsome, polished, impeccable from head to toe. But what was different was his gaze. Those sharp eyes locked onto him, steady, as if trying to peer into his soul, forcing Namnuea to look away. He forced a strained smile and spoke in a tone that tried to sound cheerful.
“Hello, Khun Lom. You’re here early.”
“You still haven’t answered my question, Nuea.”
Don’t call me that.
Namnuea wanted to hurl the cup at his face, but all he could do was swallow every feeling, force another smile, and shake his head slowly, letting out a hollow laugh.
“It’s not like that. How could I not want to see a client?” He emphasized the word “client” sharply, causing the other man to pause briefly before stepping closer. Those piercing eyes still didn’t waver.
“Nuea, I need to talk to you.”
“But I don’t!” Namnuea cut in quickly. He couldn’t stop himself, surprising even himself. No wonder the other man let out a heavy sigh. But it seemed he wasn’t ready to give up. Long legs closed the distance until they were nearly touching, leaving no room to escape. Then, in a serious tone, he said, “I know I’m being selfish, but I really want you to hear me out, Nuea.”
“…”
The listener was speechless. He didn’t want to look into those eyes that made his heart soften and feel guilty all at once.
This is the studio for Khun Lom’s wedding photos. How could we let ourselves waver for him?
Click.
Namnuea wanted to pull his hand away when the other reached to hold it, but his strength had vanished. He could only lower his gaze to his own hand, listening to the deep voice echoing in his head, filled with confusion.
“I’m glad that night happened, Nuea. I wanted to contact you, but every time I picked up the phone, your words telling me to forget rang in my mind. I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to talk to you, but I knew you wouldn’t answer if I called. You only reached out to Yiwa… even today, you didn’t call me once,” the flood of words made Namnuea clench his fist tighter, biting his lip until it hurt.
Don’t give in, Nuea. Don’t give in.
His softening demeanor must have given the other hope, because Sailom spoke boldly.
“Nuea, do you have some time after this…”
“Oh, Phii Lom, there you are!”
Before he could finish, before anyone could waver, a sweet, clear voice rang out from behind. Namnuea’s heart raced, blood rushing to his face. Startled, he yanked his hand free from the grip, looked over the broad shoulder, and stumbled back, colliding with the edge of the table behind him.
“Oh! Khun Nuea are you okay?” The beautiful woman peeked out from behind Sailom. Namnuea shook his head vigorously. He wasn’t sure what expression he wore, but he forced a smile.
“I’m fine, Khun Yiwa. Hello! You’re here early.”
What kind of face did I just make?
Namnuea could only wonder, watching her bright smile and playful wink.
“Well, Phii Lom insisted on getting here early, no matter what. He came up first… didn’t even wait for me. Wonder who he was in such a rush to see,” she teased. Namnuea couldn’t decipher the look in her eyes, but he flinched, feeling like a guilty child caught in the act. He lowered his head, unable to meet anyone’s gaze.
“I’ll go inform the team then. Khun Yiwa, you can head to the dressing room to get your hair and makeup done,” Namnuea said quickly, slipping past the tall man who said nothing more. And that was probably how it should be—the bride-to-be was standing right there.
Grab.
But it wasn’t like that. A large hand seized his upper arm, eyes filled with concern, and a worried voice asked urgently.
“Nuea, is your hand okay?”
“Oh no! Khun Nuea, quick, wash your hand! Did you get burned?” Khun Yiwa exclaimed. Namnuea followed their gazes and nearly dropped the paper coffee cup. He’d squeezed it so hard that dark liquid had spilled, coating his hand and dripping onto the floor. It should’ve burned, but he felt nothing.
“I’m… I’m fine,” Namnuea tossed the cup into the trash and flashed a smile at the bride-to-be, signaling he was okay.
“The coffee’s gone cold… It’s fine, I’ll call the housekeeper first. It’s spilled everywhere…”
“You need to wash your hands first.”
Swish
“I’ll go myself, Khun Lom. You should hurry and get dressed. Thanks for the concern.” Before the other man could drag him to the bathroom, Namnuea quickly yanked his hand free. It wasn’t natural and was frankly quite rude, but he didn’t care anymore. His body felt numb in a way he couldn’t describe. He spoke in a brisk, businesslike tone and strode away from the pair toward the bathroom, not forgetting to tell the housekeeper to clean up the coffee stain. Can you handle this, Nuea? You haven’t broken down crying yet, have you? he thought, taking long strides and disappearing into the bathroom before his fake strength crumbled.
What did you just do? Why did Nuea look like he was about to cry?
“…”
“Phii Lom!”
Sailom didn’t answer the bride-to-be’s question, instead letting out a heavy sigh. He looked down at his hand, still feeling the lingering warmth of another’s touch, and said in a firm tone, “This is my business, Yiwa. Can you let me handle it myself?”
“You always mess things up when it comes to yourself,” she retorted. Though he wanted to argue, he couldn’t. He turned to Yiwa with a warning look, but she wasn’t intimidated in the slightest. She even poked his chest hard. “Stop sulking and go make up with him.”
“How am I supposed to do that when I’m your groom, Yiwa?” the man said, irritated, making the listener’s eyes widen as she gasped in shock.
“You still haven’t told him the truth? Are you insane, Phii Lom?”
The man accused of being crazy scowled, but she wasn’t scared. She slapped his broad shoulder several times. “If I were him, I’d be mad and confused too. You’re showing interest in him while you’re about to get married. No decent person would play along. Stop overthinking and tell him the truth. I don’t want to be selfish and be the only one happy. If you’re sure, just say it. One or two more people knowing the truth won’t hurt,”
The young woman said with an annoyed tone, while the listener sighed heavily but looked slightly better. Should I tell him?
“You’re only realizing this now?” Her sharp comeback stung, nearly making Sailom chase after the other person. But then…
RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr
The loud ring of a phone interrupted. Yiwa quickly pulled it out to answer, then her eyes widened.
“It’s Mom, Phii Lom.” The mention of the caller made the listener freeze, turning to meet her gaze. He nodded for her to take the call. Judging by her expression, this wasn’t good news. We’re in trouble now, Phii Lom.
“What’s wrong?” As soon as Yiwa hung up, she turned with a frustrated look, confirming his strange gut feeling, just as he’d feared.
“Mom and Aunt are coming to watch the photoshoot. They’re parking downstairs now,” the groom-to-be says, letting out a frustrated curse and a heavy sigh. Instead of clearing things up with the other person, he now has to deal with two demanding women before things get even messier.
Time really isn’t on his side to chase after anyone else right now.
…
Nuea was quite surprised when the older relatives of the person he was coordinating with for work show up in the studio. But he quickly puts on a smile, greeting them politely while explaining the concept for today’s photoshoot, which the two middle-aged women seem to appreciate.
“It’s great. I prefer shooting in the studio too. Shooting outdoors under the sun and wind might ruin Yiwa’s skin before the big day,” one says.
“Speaking of the big day, has Yiwa started the bridal course we sent her?” Sailom’s mother asks.
“I gave it to her, but she keeps saying she’s too busy. Next month, I’ll make her go for the skin treatment, don’t worry. Yiwa will be the most beautiful at the wedding,” the two mothers chat enthusiastically, covering everything from bridal courses to the engagement. It’s almost too much for the listener, who can barely keep up the smile. “How’s the progress on the wedding invitations, Khun Nuea?” they ask, turning to him. Luckily, he brought the documents today and shows them samples to review.
“Khun Nuea, serious question—can we add maybe one or two hundred more guests?” Yiwa’s mother suddenly whispers, probably because she couldn’t get a straight answer from the couple. Namnuea gives a dry smile, hedging his response.
“We can probably adjust for about a hundred.” A hundred’s better than nothing—maybe fifty each?
“Ugh, those two are so stubborn. No matter what we say, they won’t budge,” the two women say with slight displeasure. “But, to be fair, those two have been inseparable forever. If one says something, the other follows. Like they share one heart,” Sailom’s mother adds, wrinkling her nose slightly, her tone fond. The other laughs along and turns to Namnuea.
“Did you know, Khun Nuea? They’ve been together since middle school,” she says, clearly eager to gossip about their kids. Normally, Namnuea would be happy to listen, but not this time.
The listener wants no part of these stories. Learning how long they’ve loved each other leaves him stunned, with guilt crashing over him. But seeing the eager looks in the mothers’ eyes, what can he do but force a smile and match their enthusiasm?
“Really? That’s amazing, loving each other for over a decade like that!”
“Right? When they told me they were dating, I was shocked but happy. They’ve known each other since they were kids. Thinking about it, it’s not surprising—they were inseparable. Yiwa was all about Phii Lom, and Lom was all about Yiwa. It’s heartwarming to think they’re about to tie the knot,” one says.
“But it’d be better if they didn’t keep defying us,” Sailom’s mother adds, though she seems pleased. Before Namnuea has to endure more stories of the couple’s love, the bride steps out of the dressing room, with the groom by her side.
The sight left Namnuea… frozen.
The stunning bride in a ball gown wedding dress looked like an elegant princess. The strapless gown was meticulously embroidered with lace and shimmering sequins that sparkled under the light. The side pleats accentuated her tiny waist, and the ivory skirt trailed gracefully along the floor. Combined with her flawless makeup and hair, Yiwa was nothing short of a beautiful princess ready for her wedding.
Beside her, the dashing groom stood in a luxurious suit, with an ivory dress shirt paired with a dark tie. The matching vest and jacket completed the look, making Sailom the perfect groom with a radiant bride by his side.
They were like a painting, a perfect match like gold and jade, so harmonious that it pierced the heart of the onlooker.
“No one could be more perfect together,” the elders said with delight, and Namnuea couldn’t argue. It was an undeniable truth.
“Yes, they’re the most perfect match… more than any couple I’ve ever worked with,” he said, forcing a smile. He glanced at the pair, who weren’t looking his way but were chatting intimately. And…
He didn’t want to look anymore.
The way Sailom gently held the train of the bride’s dress to help Yiwa walk more easily was so courteous, so attentive. No matter how you looked at it, they were the perfect couple, and Namnuea had to turn away.
So, while the elders went to chat and praise their children, Namnuea, who should have stepped in to assist, found himself unable to move. Instead, he slipped away to the photographer, sticking close and not daring to lift his eyes to the couple posing for photos in front of him.
“Move a bit closer, please. Bride, tilt your head up slightly. Place your hand on the groom’s arm… Perfect.” The instructions went in one ear and out the other. Namnuea swallowed hard, and when he finally glanced up once, he took a deep breath.
They were too perfect, making his guilt even heavier.
He shouldn’t have looked.
Namnuea hated himself for thinking he was strong enough. In truth, he couldn’t bear to look at the scene before him.
Where was the man who wanted to explain? Where was the one who said he couldn’t forget him? Where was the one who said he didn’t regret their night together? All he saw was a groom utterly devoted to his bride.
The groom who leaned down to whisper in the bride’s ear, making her laugh brightly. His hands gently cradled her slender waist with care, his gaze filled with nothing but tenderness, captured through the camera lens. And the bride—it was clear how happy she was in this man’s arms.
They were so perfect together that he could no longer bear to watch.
“Phii, I’m heading back to the office first. Please take care of things here. Send me the photos when you’re done,” Namnuea said.
“What? You’re not staying until the end, Nuea?”
“I just remembered I have something urgent. I’m really sorry,” Namnuea apologized to the photographer, feeling guilty. But with the team fully prepared and the concept already clearly explained, slipping away early should be fine. The photographer didn’t mind, assuring him they’d handle everything. Taking advantage of the moment when the crew was busy touching up makeup, adjusting lights, and fussing over the bride and groom, Namnuea quickly stepped out of the studio.
He couldn’t bear to stay here any longer.
Did watching the groom and bride together really hurt this much?
It hurt so much he could barely breathe.
The only thing Namnuea could do was call his boss, his voice trembling.
“Can I take some time off? I know it’s sudden, but I really need to go home.” Then he called Sister Eim to say the same.
[Is something wrong, Nuea?]
He wasn’t sure if it was those words, but Namnuea broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, his patience, restraint, and strength completely gone. All he could manage was to repeat the same words over and over.
“I’m sorry, Sister Eim. I can’t do this. I’m sorry… sorry…”
I can’t let go of that man who’s already taken.
[Hey, Nuea, calm down, calm down. If you can’t handle it, take a break. I’ll take care of things here. Don’t worry about work.]
The words of concern only made Namnuea cry harder, tears streaming until he was spent. He knew he must seem like a madman, crying nonstop, but he truly couldn’t bear it. His heart hurt too much to endure any more.
If he couldn’t even handle watching their pre-wedding photoshoot, how could he possibly stand through the actual wedding day, smiling and offering congratulations?
Namnuea didn’t know the answer to that question and no longer wanted to find out. He drove straight to his condo to pack his things and return to his emotional refuge… he was going home.
He could no longer stay in this place, where a man named Sailom existed.

Chap 9:
No place feels as comforting as the one called home.
“Nuea, come eat, son.”
“…”
“Nuea.”
“…”
“Namnuea!!!”
Gasp
“Ouch, my ears are going to burst, Mom! I’m right here.”
Namnuea was sitting on the balcony of his bedroom, arms resting on the railing, staring blankly at the neighborhood playground where four or five teenagers were playing basketball. It should’ve been a pleasant sight, but he just let out heavy sighs. He didn’t even notice his mother had entered the room and called out to him—until she practically shouted in his ear, loud enough for the teens at the court to turn and look, making him jump.
Still, he flashed a cheeky grin, only for his mother to smack his shoulder with a loud slap.
“I’m shouting so much my mouth’s about to tear!”
“Let me see, Mom. Where’s it torn? Need medicine? I’ll grab some for you,” he teased.
“Still joking around, huh?”
“No way, not me!” The handsome young man with fair skin grinned, showing off his perfectly aligned teeth, his tone playful. But his large, round eyes were red, betraying the tears he’d shed every night since coming home. His mother sighed heavily, took his hand, and led him back into the bedroom, pushing him to sit on the bed as if to say, I’m done waiting, tell me now.
“What happened in Bangkok?”
“…”
Namnuea wanted to keep up the playful act, like he did the day he returned home, but this time, he couldn’t muster the humor. His voice fell silent, and he couldn’t bring himself to meet his mother’s gaze.
He didn’t dare tell the truth about what he’d done…
Slept with a groom-to-be? That’s no different from being branded a homewrecker.
“Nuea, you know, don’t you, that no matter what happens, you’re still my son?” His mother reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly as she sat beside him. Her eyes, full of concern, locked onto him, but Namnuea could only turn his face away.
“Mom, I did something wrong.”
“What did you do?” His mother didn’t even pause, her voice still soft and gentle. The listener bowed his head lower, like a six-year-old child caught in trouble.
“I did something very wrong, so wrong.” That’s all he can say, fearing the look in his mother’s eyes might change.
His mother raised him to be a good person. If she knew how weak he was, how would she see him?
“What did you do wrong? Can you tell me?”
“I don’t dare say. I don’t want to talk about it.” Namnuea lowers his head. The sunlight outside fades, the sky partly darkens, much like his heart, which feels nearly void of light to find a way out. “Will you keep suffering alone, my child?”
“I don’t want you to suffer too.”
“Then what’s the point of having a mother?”
The listener freezes, tears welling in his eyes, his heart trembling fiercely. He grips his mother’s hand tightly. Her cheerful son has become so depressed—how? Who did this to him? “Nuea, I can’t stand seeing you like this. Who did what to you?”
“No. He didn’t do anything!” Namnuea almost claps a hand over his mouth after blurting it out loudly. His mother stares at him, silent.
“Then what did he do?” She knows now his pain comes from someone else, so he bites his lip harder, afraid he’ll cry.
“He didn’t do anything… I did this to myself.”
If he’d been stronger, if he hadn’t let his heart fall for a man who’s already taken, he wouldn’t hurt this much. That night, if he’d been tougher, things wouldn’t have gone so far, leaving him with guilt so heavy he had to run away. Now, he could probably face Khun Yiwa without hiding in shame.
His mother listens intently, and slowly, his heart begins to spill out. “Nuea shouldn’t have, Mom. Nuea shouldn’t… Nuea shouldn’t have loved him, knowing he’s already taken. Nuea shouldn’t…” He sobs, shoulders shaking. He might stay strong in front of coworkers, but not with this woman. Tears stream down his cheeks.
His mother looks visibly shocked, but he can’t stop.
“I did wrong, Mom. So wrong, unforgivably wrong. I should’ve been stronger, not so weak like this. I am awful. I shouldn’t have made that mistake.” Namnuea repeats the same words, but it’s a confession that makes his mother cry. Her tears fall, matching the hands holding him.
“Nuea did so wrong, didn’t you,”
“So wrong for being so weak,” he says, his tears unstoppable, just like when he confessed to her that he doesn’t love women. And she does what she did then.
She reaches out, wraps her arms around his shoulders, and pulls his face to her chest, like he’s just a small child.
“Oh, my baby,” she says softly, holding him tightly, rubbing his back and shoulders to comfort him. His strength crumbles completely, and he lets all his weakness pour out to the person he trusts most. He clings to her waist, cursing himself as nothing but awful.
“Nuea, Nuea, listen to me. Everyone makes mistakes. There’s no such thing as someone who only does what’s right. What makes a person good or bad is whether they realize their mistake and whether they try to fix it, Nuea. If my son were a bad person, he wouldn’t be crying like this, wouldn’t feel this guilty, wouldn’t be telling me this. It’s okay, my dear. It’s okay.”
The more he listened, the more Namnuea’s tears fell. His arms tightened around his mother’s waist, and he sniffled loudly like a child.
“I didn’t let myself fall any deeper. I pulled back. It’s the responsibility I took for the mistake I made and fixed.”
“I may not know the details, but don’t torture yourself more than this, Nuea. Don’t see yourself as a bad person, because you’re the best—my son is the very best.”
“Mom, Mom, I’m sorry. I am sorry,” Namnuea could only repeat his apologies. He knew his mother was crying… crying for her son.
She was suffering just as much as he was.
“I won’t make the same mistake again. I won’t repeat it,” he sobbed, promising his mother he’d never put himself in that situation again.
Enough was enough with being the third party.
Love is for two people. As long as there’s a third, it’s no longer love. “That’s good, my dear. Good job, Nuea. You’re the best person for me,” she said. Namnuea pulled back from her warm embrace, looking up at the tearful smile on her face as she gently wiped his tears.
“But now my good boy should go wash his face and come down to eat. Your Dad’s probably been waiting for a while.” Namnuea nodded eagerly, but before he could leave, his mother added in a tender voice, “Don’t hesitate to come back, Nuea. Whenever you’re suffering, remember this is your home, always ready to ease your pain.”
Namnuea acknowledged her softly before hurrying to the bathroom, as he was about to cry again.
Even though a grown man like him wanted to act like a child, to cling to his mother more, he’d left his parents’ arms to live in Bangkok for nearly ten years. He should be able to act like an adult by now.
Despite thinking that, Namnuea knew it was wrong. Even as he walked downstairs with red eyes to eat, and his father didn’t ask questions, Dad kept telling Mom to do this or that for him, treating him like a little kid who needed to be spoiled. It showed how much his parents cared, and it eased his pain.
There was truly no place as comforting and safe as this.
Dad, Mom, Nuea promises to be stronger, to not be weak because of someone else, to not let anyone hurt me, and to not make you worry. Nuea promises.
He would erase the man who hurt him from his heart.
…
“Wow, it’s only been a few years, but this place has changed so much,” he said. “A few years for you, Nuea, is a long time. My kid hasn’t even met Uncle Nuea yet.”
“Oh, sorry, Phii. Sorry!”
Three days after returning home, doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and reading, an unexpected visitor showed up at Namnuea’s house—Rerai, his cousin.
The young mother of one, having heard that he was back home on vacation, decided to drop by. Perhaps it was his haggard appearance or his mother’s complaints about him holing up at home that prompted her, but Rerai invited him to get some fresh air up on the hill… at their family’s flower farm, to be exact.
The flower farm belonged to the four siblings—Namnuea’s cousins. Rarin, the eldest sister, a charismatic woman tougher than most men, ran the operation. Her key assistant, Rerai’s husband, served as the farm manager. Rantaa, the third daughter, had been sent to study business in England. Meanwhile, the youngest brother, Riu, broke away to study engineering in Bangkok.
Now, Namnuea stood at the teakwood guesthouse at the hill’s edge, gazing out at the vast flower farm stretching as far as the eye could see, staffed by hundreds of workers.
“By the way, where’s my niece?”
“At home,” Rerai replied, referring to their house in downtown Chiang Mai. Namnuea raised an eyebrow, then nodded in understanding.
“Oh, so you didn’t drag me up here to see her. Mom told you to haul her moping son, who’s been cooped up at home, out for some fresh air, didn’t she?” The plan to get him out for air was clearly his mother’s doing. Rerai burst out laughing, nodding in admission, then turned to meet his eyes.
That searching look in her eyes made him instinctively look away.
“Something’s up, isn’t it?” This must be why his mother called Rerai over.
His mother probably thought they’d talk more easily, being close in age. And despite Rerai’s soft, feminine exterior—the perfect picture of a gentle, Nuea-style beauty—her true nature was formidable. How else could she keep her husband so firmly under her thumb?
“Just a little something.”
“Work? Money? Or love?”
“The last one, dear cousin. Satisfied?” he answered the cousin two months his senior, making Rerai wrinkle her nose.
“What if I say I’m not satisfied?”
“Then I’m still not telling you more.”
“Hmph,” Rerai huffed, turning away. But why would she need coaxing? She just leaned against the balcony railing, staring into the distance. Namnuea chuckled lightly.
“Any workers catch your eye? I can call one over tonight,” he teased. The stressed-out Namnuea finally let out a laugh, recalling years ago when he confided in Rerai about his sexual orientation and admitted he loved checking out the workers here. He’d jokingly asked her to use her status as the farm owner’s daughter to summon one for him. Naive Rerai had actually done it, nearly blowing his secret. Thankfully, they’d managed to cover it up.
Thinking back on it now, it’s hilarious, really… Alright, that guy then!
The handsome young man didn’t look like a farm worker at all—not with his hairstyle, his face, or his build. The only thing that fit the part was his worn-out clothes, dirtied from hauling dozens of kilos of fertilizer onto the truck. Pointing and picking him out seemed to make Rerai laugh even harder, practically doubling over with laughter.
“Hahaha… No way, Nuea… That guy… No way, hahaha! Oh God, I’m dying, I’m laughing so hard!” Namnuea raised an eyebrow in confusion, turning to look where she pointed.
If he wasn’t mistaken, the slender guy with a face too pretty for a man, standing next to the chosen one, was… his youngest cousin, the baby of the family.
“Yep, that’s Riu. And the guy next to him? That’s Riu’s boyfriend.”
“What?! Riu’s gone for a guy?!” Namnuea exclaimed, unable to believe his ears. He stared at his youngest cousin, who, sure, was pretty—prettier than most women, even—but fierce as a tiger. With that stunning face, plenty of guys had tried their luck, only to get chewed out and sent running. Riu used to swear up and down he was a “real man” (damn it!) and would never let anyone “top” him. Yet, after three or four years studying in Bangkok, had he swallowed his words?
Rerai nodded, laughing so hard she could barely contain herself.
“Haha, yep, he’s given in! That guy’s from the same uni, name’s Sun. He came to introduce himself two years ago. Got roped into being Phii Rin’s errand boy every semester break when he visits,” the second daughter explained. Namnuea thought of their eldest sister, who was manlier than most men, and couldn’t help but chuckle.
“The eldest and the youngest in this family should swap genders,” Namnuea quipped. Their chatter and laughter seemed to catch the attention of the group below, because the youngest looked up. “Phii Nuea! Phii Nuea!” Riu jumped up and down, waving enthusiastically, clearly thrilled. It made Namnuea grin, and he shouted back.
“Hey, Riu! Bringing your man to meet the family, huh?”
“Hey!” Riu yelped, his face turning bright red, shaking his head furiously and waving his hands in denial.
“Oh? Then who’s that?” Namnuea shot back, pointing at the good-looking guy who broke into a wide grin the moment he heard the word “man.” The guy even chimed in loudly, staking his claim. “Not another farm worker, Nuea!”
“I’m Riu’s husband, been for a while now! Nice to meet you, Phii!!!”
That kid’s got some serious nerve.
Smack
“Sun, you wanna die or what?!” A husband and wife are bickering because the cheeky one slapped his partner so hard the face nearly turned, but the red cheek is visible even from here. Namnuea chuckles softly, watching the two kids chasing each other, while a close relative chimes in.
“I’m a year younger than Riu, his junior, but I’ve got him tamed,” they say. The listener nods a few times, his laughter fading to a faint, melancholic smile.
“Must be nice,” Namnuea murmurs softly. The person beside him turns to look.
“Having issues with someone in Bangkok? Just talk it out properly,” they say. His mother must not have told them what happened for them to ask like that, but it’s fine. He doesn’t dare say more either, so he laughs it off.
“There’s no talking left to do. It’s over… Anyway, mind if I go tease Riu a bit?” The young organizer swiftly changes the subject. The listener laughs slowly, then switches topics too. “Shouldn’t you be staying here tonight? How could you not? Mom practically threw your bag of clothes at you. Stay here a couple of days, yeah?”
“Stay as long as you want. This place is like home for Nuea,” the host says, and suddenly, he’s reluctant to leave. Being far from his problems makes him feel better. He knows the problems aren’t gone, but at least his heart gets a break before facing them again.
After Khun Yiwa’s wedding, he’ll have to seriously consider what Mom said.
Should he quit his job and come back home?
There, he has no one, but here, he’s surrounded by family.
…
“What do you mean Namnuea’s on vacation?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, Khun Lom. Nuea’s taken a leave of absence and didn’t say when he’ll be back.”
The meeting room at The Wiwa Square is thick with tension. A big-spending client storms into the office, demanding to know where his event organizer is, only to learn that Nuea’s on an indefinite vacation.
Sharp eyes flash with obvious frustration.
Since the pre-wedding photoshoot, he’d asked Yiwa to take the two mothers home so he could clear things up with the organizer. But not only did the other party leave early, they turned off their phone, refusing calls. Calling the company got him nowhere—they said he wasn’t there. Two days of near insanity later, Sailom storms the office, only to learn the truth: his organizer has vanished, destination unknown.
“No need to worry, Khun Lom. I’ll take over the wedding invitations and favors myself…”
“I want to see Nuea.”
“I’m truly sorry, but we can’t reach Nuea either.” Though the woman in front of him speaks politely, Sailom isn’t fooled—she knows something. Her eyes brim with disapproval, and she’s clearly blocking him.
“I didn’t think Nuea was the type to abandon work like this.”
“Well, if someone pushed him to it, would that be so surprising?”
This woman knows.
The young man told himself immediately. She must know something about him and Namnuea, though not much, which is why her resistance was subtle. He forced himself to stay calm and spoke firmly.
“I’m begging you. I really need to talk to Nuea.”
“If it’s about the wedding, you can inform me, and we’ll ensure your wedding is perfectly beautiful…”
“It’s not about the wedding. It’s about me and Nuea,” Sailom interrupted sharply before she could finish, causing the woman’s polite demeanor to shift to hostility. Her eyes glared with disapproval and judgment, though she didn’t say it outright. “We really haven’t been able to contact Nuea either.”
“Liar!”
“Feel free to ask everyone in the office, Khun Lom. No one has spoken to Nuea, and he’s turned off his phone,” Sis Eim said with a smile, while the listener clenched his fists. If she weren’t a woman, he might’ve grabbed her collar to demand answers. But he knew losing his temper wouldn’t help, so he took a deep breath.
“I need to talk to Nuea.”
“I think you should talk to Khun Yiwa instead.”
What does this have to do with Yiwa?!
Sailom wanted to shout, but a moment later, he realized he was in no position to argue. He couldn’t deny the special connection with Namnuea, but he also couldn’t ignore the reality everyone saw: he was about to marry a beautiful bride. If he were to reveal the truth behind the wedding, he wasn’t sure… he didn’t know how much he could trust this woman.
He hadn’t even told Namnuea yet. Why would he spill everything to her?
“Khun Lom, you should go back for now. If we reach Nuea, we’ll let you know.”
She’s definitely not going to do that.
Sailom concluded to himself, letting out a heavy sigh. He knew causing a scene would do no good and would only make him look worse. So, he decided to head to Namnuea’s condominium instead. If he was still hiding in Bangkok, he’d have to return home eventually… though he knew that might not be the case.
“Fine. I’ll go. I’ll contact you again,” he said, then strode out of the office toward his sleek car. Once inside, he slammed his fist against the steering wheel to vent the frustration in his chest.
“Damn it!!!”
While venting his frustration, the phone rang, forcing Sailom to grab it and answer curtly.
“Yes?”
[Lom, have you found Khun Nuea?]
“No. He’s on leave, his phone’s off, and the people here act like they don’t want to talk to me,” Sailom said, irritated. The person on the other end went quiet for a moment.
[They probably know something happened between you and Khun Nuea. But the problem is, you’ve still going to marry me. No matter how you look at it, you’re coming off as a lousy guy who deserves a slap.]
“Yiwa!” This wasn’t the time for teasing, so Sailom’s voice hardened. But the person on the line chuckled lightly before speaking with a weary tone.
[You don’t have to put me first all the time. Be a little selfish for once.]
The listener was left speechless. The person on the line let out a long sigh.
[Wait there for a bit, okay? I’m driving over now. I’ll call Ms. Imm to let her know we’re coming to meet.]
“You’re really doing this? I just need to find Nuea and explain everything to him alone…”
[And not know when you’ll see him? If he can’t take it and quits, running away from you, where will you even find him? Don’t let time slip away for nothing. And I can’t just be selfish and happy alone. You’ve always helped me, Phii Lom. Just this once, let me help you.]
The flood of words left Sailom speechless, and he reluctantly agreed. He sat in his car, drained, closing his eyes and thinking of the one person he wanted to see most right now.
He must truly seem like a terrible person in Namnuea’s eyes—and everyone else’s.
Did Sailom not want to pursue a relationship the normal way? Of course he did. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t risk the truth he’d hidden for years coming out at such a critical moment. At first, he didn’t tell Namnuea because he didn’t fully trust him. But after what happened between them, and seeing how much pain the other was in, he could no longer be selfish and keep it to himself.
If the wedding had to fall apart, so be it—because he had truly fallen for Namnuea.
From the very first glance, Namnuea made him feel something incredible. His eyes, his smile, the natural way he ate that brought a smile to Sailom’s face. Even the frustrated, crumpled expression Namnuea wore, sneaking glances at him, was so amusing that Sailom found himself thinking about it for days.
I don’t know when I fell in love, but by the time I realized it, I was consumed with thoughts of him, wanting to see him, talk to him, touch him, resorting to all sorts of tricks just to be near him.
If Namnuea really ran away, what would I do?
That thought tormented him the most. Besides knowing Nuea was born on a day of flooding, he knew nothing else—not where he lived, who his friends were. It made his heart ache in a way he couldn’t believe.
That day, the day they were together, if only he’d held on. If he hadn’t just been angry when the other insisted it was a mistake, he wouldn’t have let time slip by so meaninglessly.
“That night, I was truly happy to have you,” he whispered.
The morning that felt so bright turned dark when he saw the other’s reaction. But Namnuea wasn’t at fault. The one who was wrong was him, for not speaking up.
Who could be happy knowing they’d just slept with someone else’s man?
His thoughts drifted far until Yiwa pulled up, got out, and tapped on the window.
Sailom stepped out, telling himself this time… he wouldn’t let Namnuea slip away.
He’d followed his mother’s wishes his whole life. All he wanted was the freedom to love someone else, just this once.
This time, visiting Namnuea’s coworkers clearly startled them, especially when Yiwa pleaded for his address. Sister Eim looked visibly conflicted, and his bride-to-be had to clarify, “The thing between Phii Lom and Khun Nuea isn’t wrong.”
“But Khun Lom and you are getting married.”
Yiwa took a deep breath, glanced at him, then said firmly, “What if this marriage isn’t based on love?”
“What did you mean…”
“I’m saying, what if this wedding was staged from the start?” The listener looked visibly shocked, so Sailom spoke with conviction. “The thing between me and Yiwa is fake, but what’s between me and Nuea is real. Please, I’m begging you, tell me where Nuea is right now. I want to talk to him, to explain everything so he understands. Please, Sister Eim.” Though she seemed hesitant, glancing between Sailom and Yiwa, she finally sighed.
“Wait a moment,” she said, leaving the room.
Shortly after, the woman returned with a file containing Namnuea’s home address in the Northeast, along with a contact number, and said with a serious expression, “If you make my little brother cry again, don’t expect me to help you ever again!”
That realization hits Sailom hard—he’s made the person he loves cry. It’s time to set things right.

Chap 10:
Love is about communication. If you don’t speak, how can the other person understand?
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend… No wonder you haven’t been in touch with me lately.”
“Hey, Nuea, it’s not like that at all!”
“Yeah, yeah, Bro. I’m not just a boyfriend. I’m a husband!”
“Husband? Hahaha!”
The atmosphere in the orchard owner’s guesthouse is livelier than usual. It’s not just that the youngest son has come home with a handsome guy in tow, but a close relative who’s been absent lately is also at the dinner table. And the topic they can’t resist teasing is the youngest, sitting next to his partner.
The moment “husband” is mentioned, a heavy hand lands a loud smack on the speaker, but the one who said it doesn’t seem fazed. On the contrary, they seem to enjoy it.
“Keep smacking me like that, and tonight I’ll make you regret it.”
“Ahem, want to die young, Sun?”
Rarin, the head of the table and fiercely protective of her younger sibling, clears her throat. Her face shows no hint of joking—she’s dead serious about taking out her future brother-in-law. Sun shrinks a bit, scooting closer to the one who just smacked him, whining.
“Phii Riu, look, Phii Rarin’s gonna kill me!”
“Good, die already.”
“Wow, don’t come crying when you miss me later. Even when I’m sick, you can’t leave my bedside.” For Namnuea, it’s a strange sight. The fiercest younger sibling in the family is blushing, muttering “idiot,” but turns to their older sister with a pleading look, making the doting sibling sigh.
“Tomorrow, you’re helping the workers graft branches at 4 a.m., Sun.”
“Not scared, I’m in!” The Bangkok kid seems eager, probably guessing what Namnuea’s thinking, because he turns with a cheeky grin. “I’ve been through it all, mortar and pestle to battleships. But this family’s kind. On heavy workdays, a certain someone brings me a lunchbox.”
“Who’re you calling a girl?!”
“Look in the mirror, Phii Riu.”
Man, this kid’s fearless, and he’s really got Riu wrapped around his finger.
Namnuea couldn’t help but laugh, watching the two kids playfully teasing each other nonstop. Then he turned to the married couple nearby.
“And this pair—when are you giving my cousin a little cousin?”
“Not yet, Nuea. We’re planning to wait about three years so we can fully focus on the kid,” Ton said with a smile, before adding, “But no fewer than four.”
“Are you the one carrying them, Ton?” That was all it took for Rerai to flash a sweet smile, making her husband give a dry chuckle, though he still pleaded.
“Come on, Rerai, just three more.”
Rerai rolled her eyes dramatically but didn’t protest. Then Rarin, the close relative, turned to Namnuea.
“And what about you, Nuea?”
“Whoa, shouldn’t you be asking yourself first, Rarin? You’re practically headed for spinsterhood.”
“Spinsterhood? More like a diamond-encrusted golden bachelorette,” Rarin quipped, unfazed by her single status, which made Namnuea laugh, treating it like a joke as he went on casually.
“Ugh, it’s not like someone like me could score a guy like Riu here. Looks like I’ll just wither away, unable to snag a man who’d ‘carry my child.’ Oh well, single life’s not that scary. I’ve made peace with it since I realized I was gay. How many gay couples even get to have weddings?” Namnuea never hid that he was gay, though he didn’t always say it outright. His demeanor wasn’t overtly obvious either, so when he spoke plainly, Sun’s eyes widened, and he rubbed his chin.
“Someone like you, Nuea, staying single? I think you’ve got way better odds than Phii Rarin,” the kid said fearlessly. But the eldest sister didn’t take offense and even agreed.
“True. Back in the day, you were quite the charmer, with both guys and girls. You’ve got plenty for people to fall for, and you’re still saying you’ll stay single?”
“I think so too. If it weren’t for Phii Riu, I’d be hitting on you, Nuea,” Sun teased cheekily, but it seemed to rile up the guy next to him more than anything. Sun quickly backtracked.
“But sorry, my heart belongs to Phii Riu alone now. Right, Phii Riu? I’m so head-over-heels I can’t think straight.” As he spoke, Sun leaned to rest his head on Riu’s shoulder, only for Riu to shove him off with a grimace. But his flushed cheeks were a sight, and Namnuea couldn’t resist asking.
“So, Sun, what do you like about Riu?”
He glanced at the youngest, who was clearly intrigued. Sun grinned wide, snapped his fingers with a pop, and answered without hesitation.
“She’s gorgeous, fierce, spicy, and… so much, man.”
Smack!
Just now, Namnuea was sure he hadn’t imagined it. When the guy paused for emphasis, sneaking a glance, the listener nearly smacked his head into the table. This time, his face flushed with anger. He shot up, cursing loudly, flipping the middle finger at his boyfriend. Then Riu practically stormed back to his room.
“No eating, no drinking!”
“Whoa, Phii Riu, I’m serious! Last night was awesome,” Sun said, laughing.
“You idiot!” The scolding rang out, but Sun laughed it off. “Last night’s game was so damn fun. What’re you thinking, huh? Come on, let me get to the room nicely.” He sauntered over to knock on the door calmly, turning to wink at the folks at the table. Namnuea watched, thinking there was no way he’d get in—his partner looked fierce as hell. But, to his surprise… the door actually opened.
“Good night, everyone. If you hear any noises, just pretend it’s a cat scratching the wall,” Sun said before disappearing with the sound of curses from inside the room, making Namnuea’s eyes widen slightly. He glanced at his relatives, who seemed unfazed, already accustomed to the drama.
“Is this a regular thing?”
“Yep,” Rerai nodded with a chuckle, before Phii Ton urged them to focus on dinner. Meanwhile, Namnuea let out a quiet sigh.
He had to admit, he was genuinely jealous of those two kids.
One seemed perpetually angry but was actually indulgent. The other loved to tease and provoke but was always attentive and conciliatory. It stirred deep envy in his heart.
Could he ever find someone like that? No, better yet, could he first forget the man who’d caused him so much pain, Nuea?
…
How long would it take to erase that man from his heart?
Sailom had barely stepped onto the grounds of Chiang Mai International Airport when he strode toward the domestic arrivals exit, intent on renting a car to head straight to the address he’d gotten from Namnuea’s coworker. He’d tried calling the number the day before.
“I’d like to speak to Namnuea, please.”
[Who’s this? A friend of Nuea? How’d you know he’s back home?]
The voice on the other end sounded like it might be Namnuea’s mother. He could’ve lied, but he chose honesty.
“No, I’m not a friend of Namnuea. I’m… a client of his.”
It was true that the other person didn’t see him as a friend, and he was only ever in that role. But it seemed they were starting to realize no client would call their home like that. The line went quiet for a moment before a soft sigh came through, followed by a question that left him stunned.
“Are you the one who made Nuea cry?”
Once again, he was reminded that the person he loved had been shedding tears, and he could do nothing but say, “Yes.”
“Please, I’m begging you, leave Nuea alone. He’s suffered enough. Don’t you already have someone else? Don’t make things harder for him,” the voice pleaded.
They likely knew only what their son had shared. Sailom paused, then said urgently, “Please let me explain to him. The idea that I am with someone else—Nuea misunderstood me. Please, let me talk to him.”
“I don’t know if Nuea will agree to talk to you.”
“That’s okay. If he won’t talk now, that’s fine. But may I come see him tomorrow? I’ll be in Chiang Mai tomorrow morning.”
The other end fell silent for a moment before asking, “What’s your name?”
“Sailom. My name is Sailom.”
Sailom wasn’t sure if they’d let him see Nuea easily, but he’d made his plea. Now he needed to find a ride to the address he’d been given. But…
“Khun Sailom, where are you? Khun Sailom!” A voice called his name loudly, and since it was unlikely anyone else shared his name, he turned to look. Sure enough, a young man, no older than a university student, was waving a large sign with “Sailom” written on it.
He immediately knew this person was connected to Namnuea. Part of him wondered if they were sent to intercept and send him back. But if they were sent by Nuea’s mother…
“I’m Sailom,” he said, stepping forward to introduce himself. The young man turned, met his eyes, and flashed a wide smile. “Someone sent me to pick you up, Phii. You’re here for Phii Nuea, right?”
“Mm,” Sailom nodded, eyeing the good-looking young man who gave him a sympathetic glance before covering it with a smile. Still, he couldn’t resist adding, “Phii Sailom, messing with this family takes some guts, you know.”
“Huh?” Sailom raised an eyebrow, confused, as the young man introduced himself. “Let’s just say I’m Sun. It’s hard to explain, but I’m… a worker at Phii Rarin’s farm. I’ll take you up to the farm.”
“Farm?” The more he heard, the more confused he got. He’d heard Namnuea’s home was in the city, and that comment earned him another sympathetic smile.
“Let’s just say you’ll figure it out when you get there. But fair warning: the reason all the seniors sent me is because I’m the absolute worst at driving up mountains. You’d better bring a plastic bag. Phii Rarin said to take you up the steepest route,” the other says with a sympathetic tone, reaching to help with the bag, but Sailom shakes his head and counters.
“What if I don’t go?”
“Then you’ll never find Nuea, even if you die trying… My wife asked me to pass that on. Oh, and he’s Nuea’s cousin, in case you’re wondering.” This kid’s sharp—not your average worker. He answers every question just by reading Sailom’s face, and that’s enough to make Sailom nod reluctantly.
What follows is hours of nerve-wracking mountain driving, teetering on the edge of death.
“Nuea, Nuea, have you seen Sun?”
Namnuea is letting a book read itself—well, not exactly, just sitting on the porch with it for ages. The youngest of the house approaches with a hard-to-read expression, carrying a large lunchbox that probably holds a variety of dishes, asking about his partner in a way that makes the listener smirk.
“Turning into quite the housewife, huh, Little Riu?”
“If you weren’t you, I’d have snapped back already,” Riu grumbles at being called a girl, his voice low, before circling back to the point.
“Have you seen Sun? I haven’t seen him since morning. Phii Rarin told him to go cut branches, sure, but I asked the workers—no one’s seen him since early morning, even though he left at dawn.” The youngest seems genuinely worried, and Namnuea can’t help but smile.
“That worried, huh?”
“Nah, just don’t wanna deal with picking up his body if he slips off the mountain.” He says that, but his face shows clear concern. It’s already past 2 p.m.
“I haven’t seen him either,” Namnuea replies. Just then, Rerai steps in and asks, “Sun still hasn’t come back?”
“Hey, where’d you send Sun off to?”
“Sent him to pick someone up from town,” Rerai says, calming Riu down. He sets the lunchbox on the table and asks a question Nuea’s curious about too.
“Picking up who? Mom?”
“Nope.” For some reason, Rerai glances at Namnuea with a sly smile. “Picking someone up from the airport.”
“Someone coming to check out the orchard?” the youngest guesses randomly, but Namnuea feels an odd premonition, growing stronger when his close relative says outright, “Someone who wants to see Nuea.”
“Don’t tell me…”
Bang, bang!
“Oh, perfect timing,” Rerai said softly as the loud honk of a pickup truck echoed through the yard. But it was Namnuea who shot up, rushing toward the sound with a tense expression.
It’s not him… It’s not the guy you’re thinking of, Nuea.
But his prayers went unanswered. The man stepping out of the pickup, pale-faced and brows nearly knitted together, was none other than the one who haunted his dreams every night.
“How the hell did you get here?!”
“I brought him myself, Phii,” the driver answered instead, flashing a wide grin and twirling the car keys, proud of his death-defying driving skills. Meanwhile, Sailom tried to stand straight, taking deep breaths to steady himself. He locked eyes with Namnuea and said earnestly, “I wanted to see you.”
“But I don’t want to see you!” Namnuea shot back loudly, then spun to glare at his close relative. “Was this your plan, Rerai?”
“It was Auntie’s request, actually. It wouldn’t look good for a guy like him to chase after you in the middle of the village. Auntie didn’t want people gossiping about you, so she asked him to come here for a quieter talk,” Rerai explained honestly. Namnuea clenched his fists, turning back to meet Sailom’s gaze, and said curtly, “Go back. I don’t want to talk to you. And don’t forget, in just over a month, you’re getting married.”
“Damn… what the hell?” Riu cursed under his breath, while the others stood in stunned silence, shocked at the man they’d gone out of their way to help—even if they’d teased him with a nauseating car ride. They hadn’t expected him to have the audacity to show up when he already had a bride. Sailom quickly grabbed Namnuea’s arm firmly.
“You’ve got it wrong, Nuea.”
“Got it wrong? I’m the one planning your wedding. How could I get it wrong? You love your bride, not me. You should go back to Khun Yiwa. You shouldn’t be here. And if you’re worried I won’t finish your wedding, don’t be. I’ll be there, and once your wedding’s done, I’ll quit. Satisfied now?” Namnuea spat out angrily, his eyes brimming with tears, forcing him to shove the other man’s hand away forcefully.
Then he turned to his cousin. “Take him back, Rerai.”
Without waiting to hear more, Namnuea spun around and strode quickly into the orchard. Sailom started to follow, but…
Thud.
Both Rerai and Riu stepped in front of him, their initially friendly demeanor now openly hostile.
“Go back where you came from!” the younger one snapped, his temper flaring. The older one, with a tone of clear displeasure, demanded, “Can you explain what the hell this is about? Are you here to hurt Nuea even more?”
Sun shuddered on his behalf… he’d seen the wrath of this family’s siblings firsthand. With Sailom’s attitude, getting past their defenses to make amends would surely involve a long interrogation. And this was without Phii Rin around. If the eldest sister were here, it’d be a death sentence for sure.
“Why’d you come back? Why show your face again? I was finally starting to forget!”
Namnuea stormed into the flower field, cursing the other man in anger. But more than anything, he was furious with himself for feeling glad that Sailom had followed him here. It wasn’t a good thought—not even a little. It meant he still couldn’t let go, and it was unfair to Khun Yiwa.
Just seeing his face shattered the heart he thought was strong.
Swipe.
Namnuea wiped his face as tears welled up, taking deep breaths to calm himself before he turned into a madman crying in the middle of the field.
Finally finding a quiet corner, certain the other wouldn’t find him, Namnuea hunched his shoulders, his eyes staring blankly into the distance. It looked like he was watching the workers tend to the flowers, but in truth, his gaze stretched far beyond. The worst part was that the young organizer caught a glimpse of those eyes—eyes trying to explain something.
It’s not that I won’t listen, but everything’s already clear.
“Nuea.”
“Phii Ton,” he said, startled for a moment. But seeing who it was, he let out a huge sigh, forcing a smile for his brother-in-law as he made room for the farm manager to sit beside him.
“Everyone’s worried about you.”
“Phii Ton, I’m not Riu, you know. That guy’s the one you should worry about getting kidnapped,” he tried to joke, but the other only gave a faint smile.
“No, Nuea. You’re family, so we’re worried. Right now, Rerai’s on the phone saying Riu’s going wild, threatening to kill the guest. They’re trying to hold him back,” Phii Ton said with a grin, still the calm man he always was. Namnuea wasn’t surprised why everyone in the family accepted him.
Phii Ton was a good man—a really good man. That’s how you’d describe him.
How many men would sit here comforting a gay guy on their wife’s orders, looking at him with genuine concern?
“Have they sent the guest away yet?”
“He won’t leave. No matter how much they try to chase him off, he refuses to go.”
“I’m sorry, Phii. I’ve caused trouble here,” the young organizer said, feeling guilty. But Phii Ton just laughed.
“Then I owe you an apology. During our wedding, the one who worked the hardest was you, wasn’t it?” Phii Ton was saying that when the family’s struggling, they’ve got to help each other, right? Namnuea couldn’t help but smile, and… for some reason, something urged him to open up. He hadn’t told anyone else, not even Rerai.
“But if you hear my story, you might not see me as family anymore… I slept with that guy,” Namnuea said, and Phii Ton visibly froze. But he kept going. “And… he’s the groom-to-be whose wedding I was organizing. Disgusting, right? Sleeping with my own client, knowing full well he’s about to get married.” Phii Ton looked angry right away, but not at him—it seemed he was furious at the man who’d left Nuea smiling like he was about to cry.
Good. This way, the whole family would probably chase Khun Lom away.
“Why don’t you hear him out, Nuea?”
But then Phii Ton asked a question that Nuea couldn’t believe he was hearing.
“Hear out a guy who’s already taken?”
“If you don’t talk, don’t listen, you’ll keep hurting like this,” Phii Ton countered rationally, letting out a long sigh. “I know we’re outsiders in this, but let me warn you as someone who’s been married, who’s lived that life… No one can understand each other without talking. If he’s brave enough to come all the way here, he must have something to say. Talk it out clearly, reject him firmly, and you’ll feel better.” The older man spoke with reason, patting Namnuea’s shoulder firmly before standing up.
“He’s trying to talk to you now. It’s up to you whether you’ll listen. You should also say what you feel. If you feel guilty about the bride, you need to let him know. Go sort it out, Nuea.” Namnuea could only sit there silently, managing to say, “I need some time, Phii Ton. Right now… I’m really not ready to face him.”
“Take all the time you need… but before Rarin gets back. Otherwise, that guy’s gonna end up as fertilizer under the farm,” Phii Ton said, trying to lighten the mood with a laugh before turning to leave, leaving Namnuea alone. Namnuea couldn’t help but chuckle softly… Rerai must’ve known he’d listen to Phii Ton, so she sent him to talk. And he did listen.
He sighed heavily, asking himself if he was ready to end it all.
To end this, they’d have to talk it out for real. The question was whether he was strong enough to see it through without running away first.
…
Sailom was anxious, sitting still like a prisoner in the teakwood house for hours. His heart urged him to go find the other man and settle things, but the family had sent a “guard” to watch him, warning him not to go anywhere—or else the farm workers would chase him with shovels. “Chill, Phii,” Sun said. “The women in this family are terrifying. If you try to go out for real, you’ll probably get thrown into a car and driven straight to the airport. But before that, you might get a beating.” The tall man sighed heavily, sinking back into his seat after nearly jumping up, rubbing his head in frustration.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Calm down and think carefully about what you’ll say to Nuea. Make it good, one sentence, all-encompassing. From what I’ve seen, Nuea won’t listen to you for long. I mean, who wouldn’t misunderstand?” He’s already told the people here about Yiwa.
Why is it that the thing he most wants to tell Namnuea remains unsaid, yet he’s spilled it to unrelated outsiders? But if he hadn’t spoken, he probably wouldn’t have been invited to sit here either.
Looking out the window, he sees the sun’s light fading, signaling late afternoon. He feels like he’s wasting hours doing nothing, but it’s given Sailom time to think.
He hurt the other person so much that they fled here… and quit their job.
A few words convey the gravity of it all. The secret he kept was so severe that it drove the other to escape back here. If he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t explain, he’ll just be the jerk who took everything from Namnuea.
Just listen to me, Nuea. I’ll tell you everything.
Sailom resolves firmly to himself. At that moment, someone else steps into the house. Sun sees them first, flashes an encouraging smile, and steps away, leaving Namnuea to approach and stand close behind the man seated at the dining table.
“Someone said you wanted to talk to me.”
Thump… whoosh.
“Nuea!” The moment he sees who’s behind him, Sailom springs up, instinctively moving closer, but he freezes when those round eyes lock onto him, unyielding.
That gaze seems to say it’s time to end everything.
“I have something to talk to you about too,” Namnuea continues. He takes a deep breath and speaks words that leave Sailom too stunned to move.
“Please, let me go, Khun Lom.”
“Why are you saying this?” The listener forces a faint smile, his voice trembling.
“What else can I say? If you care about me at all, let me go. Don’t get involved with me anymore. I don’t want to climb the thorny tree. I don’t want to wrong Khun Yiwa. I don’t want to be known as the guy who stole someone’s husband. I’m begging you, don’t hurt me any more than this… Let me go, please.” His voice quivers, on the verge of tears, but he holds them back. The trembling tone and pleading words make his round eyes shimmer with pain. Don’t hurt me any more than this.
Sailom feels like he can’t breathe, the truth hitting him square in the chest. He realizes that his silence all this time has deeply wounded the person he thought he loved.
Namnuea steps back two paces, his voice shaking.
“I’m begging you, please go back,” they said, and it nearly made Sailom give up.
He should go back and finish playing his part, let everything end here. But…
Grab.
The young man lunged forward, seizing the other’s wrist tightly, holding it firm. He looked into those reddened eyes and said what he’d been longing to say most.
Sun was right. There was only one word he needed to say.
“I love you, Nuea. I love you.”
If there was a sentence that could say it all in one word, it was this… love.
“I love you, so I can’t let you go,” Sailom said, pulling the slender figure into his embrace as the other stood stunned. Despite feeling the struggle, he refused to let go. He held on, determined to make Namnuea hear the whole story. And Sailom vowed to himself:
He would never let go of this hand.

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