NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 33 part 2

“You can sleep a bit longer, I will wake you up in half an hour.” and then Phii Joe loosened his arms. I went down to the kitchen and found my mom cooking, so I went to help.

“Is he here?” my mom asked while still looking at the pot in front of her. “I saw his car parked outside, I thought it looked familiar.”

“He came in the early morning, just finished work.” I said. “Wow, he drove alone for hours in the dark?” “Oh…yes.” “That’s really dangerous, have you thanked him?”

“I have. Several times.”

“And where did the vase from the living room go? Have you seen it?” My mom’s question made me pause for a moment, but I honestly answered that I used it to put the flowers Phii Joe bought for me in the morning, “There were flowers too? Is it a birthday surprise?”

“Something like that.” I said with a shy smile.

“Oh my. Who could love and be so smitten with my son like this?” Mom teased a little, “Are you two going to make merit together on your birthday?”

“Mom, you aren’t coming along?”

“No. I don’t want to be in the way too much.” Mom smiled as if she was joking with me, placing plates of food on the table, “I’ve prepared this for him too, can he eat it?”

I looked at the array of food covering the table; it looked like we had three or four guests at home. Mom had prepared a feast.

“He can eat it, he can eat everything.” I said, Phii Joe isn’t too fussy about food. He eats whatever I cook, and he isn’t allergic to anything.

“He knows it well, you’re practically his personal chef.”

“Getting better at teasing, huh?” I retorted with a chuckle. Once everything was set, I went upstairs to wake Phii Joe, telling him to wash up and come down for breakfast.

My mom really likes Phii Joe; she wouldn’t stop talking to him, almost like she was his fan. After breakfast, I took a shower, and we prepared to go make merit.

The morning atmosphere, just after the rain had stopped, was incredibly refreshing. Being in a village far from the city, the air here was especially good, and the temple was also quiet and serene. After making merit, I took Phii Joe to sit and feed the fish together.

“Are you okay?”

“Why?”

“Nothing. Just wondering if you’ve rested enough. What if you get sick?” I mentioned while tossing fish food into the pond, “If you get sick, it would be terrible.”

“I know. Don’t make that sad face.”

“North is just worried, sorry if it’s too much and it bothers you.”

Phii Joe shook his head in response, reaching up to gently stroke my head with an affectionate look. I leaned my head on his shoulder, watching the morning nature together.

“Did you make a wish earlier?”

“I didn’t make a wish.”

“I figured as much.” I said, not too surprised. “I also didn’t know what to ask for. So, I made wishes for everyone at home and for you too.”

“It’s your birthday, but you wished for me?”

“Yes.” I turned and smiled broadly, “At first, I wished for everyone at home to be happy, healthy, and actually, I wanted to wish for myself too, like every year, wishing to study well and have a good job, to be healthy, and to succeed in everything I hope for.”

“…” The other person was silent, waiting for me to continue.

“But this year, all of my wishes, you’ve made them come true.”

“Hmm?”

“Really, for instance, my wish to study well, you’ve been tutoring me. If I study well, then my job prospects will be good too. As for health, you keep pushing me to exercise regularly. And my wish for everything to go my way, you’ve made that happen for me as well.” “Oh, right.” “So I wished for you to be happy, healthy, and never to fall ill…”

“…”

“And to be with me for as long as possible.”

“If that’s the case, couldn’t you have just asked me?”

“And if I did ask, would it happen?”

“It would, is there anything in this world I can’t do for you, North?”

“No.”

“Exactly.”

“Because Phii Johan, you are the person who can do everything for his North.” I said, echoing what Phii Joe once told me, that he could do everything for me.

I believe it,

that Phii Joe can do anything for me, and I can do anything for Phii Joe too.

We returned home, and I found that Mom had prepared a bag with some items for me. I didn’t understand but accepted it. Mom said Phii Joe was taking me to meet his grandparents. The bag was a gift from Mom.

Oh, meeting Grandpa and Grandma, and it seems Dad is there too…

So tense.

“You didn’t tell me three days in advance, I isn’t mentally prepared yet.” I said as the luxurious Audi was moving out of my house.

“Gene just called to say she’s here.”

“Your mom is here too?”

“Yeah.”

Great, at least Gene’s mom is there. I’ve exchanged LINE contacts with her and chatted a bit; we’ve become quite close. After getting to know her and talking, I found out that Gene’s mom is actually very sweet. She tells me a lot of stories.

Mama Gene told me that she had difficulty getting pregnant, marrying Phii Joe’s dad nearly two years before having Phii Johan, even though she had wanted a child for a long time. That made Phii Joe the only son in the family. When she was pregnant, everyone was overjoyed. No wonder everyone in the family loves and has such high expectations for Phii Joe.

I looked in awe as the car turned into a large house I had only ever passed by and peeked at from outside, this was the first time I saw its grandeur up close.

Phii Joe rolled down the window when he saw an uncle hurrying towards us.

“I’ll drive and park inside, do you have any luggage?”

It was the uncle who came to buy soy milk, when he turned and saw me sitting in the car, his eyebrows immediately raised in surprise, seeming like he wanted to say something before Phii Joe opened the door to get out. Noticing the garage was further away, if Phii Joe drove himself, he’d have had to walk back, so the uncle drove the car to park it.

I followed Phii Joe, feeling nervous, looking around with interest. Just the front garden was beautiful, and the house was as wide as a palace.

“Joe!” I turned towards the call, seeing it was Phii Joe’s mother dressed casually, calling out loudly before approaching, “You really brought the little one.”

I raised my hands to wai to the person who had just approached, and she immediately returned the wai. I didn’t forget to offer her the gift from my mom.

“Always so cute.” His mother said before reaching out to pinch my cheek lightly with a playful grin, “Oh, someone’s getting jealous again.”

“You know that, so stop it.” Phii Joe said, not sounding too pleased, “And why did Dad come to see Grandpa?”

“To visit, of course. Can’t your dad visit your Grandpa?”

“Someone like my dad?”

“Yes, you’ve been looking at your father too negatively, Joe.” my mom said cheerfully, still vibrant as ever. She once told me I was like her with my cheerful personality that dad loves, maybe that’s why Phii Joe likes me too. “Feeling nervous?” Phii Joe asked as we walked behind my mom towards the backyard where everyone was sitting and chatting.

“Uh, to be honest, very much so.” I whispered back.

“It’s okay.” Phii Joe whispered, then reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze for encouragement.

“Yeah, if you say it’s okay, then I will believe it.”

We saw three people waiting, already in conversation. As we approached, all eyes turned to us.

Phii Joe looks a lot like my dad, and my dad is really handsome, with a mature, stern charm. Unlike Phii Joe’s mom who, when I first met her, looked like she was in her late twenties. If Phii Joe ages like his dad, I bet he’ll look just as good and have that mature allure. Grandpa, who must be in his sixties, looked robust and healthy along with grandma.

As soon as we sat down on the opposite side, I quickly raised my hands in a respectful greeting, and everyone smiled back.

“Is this him?” Dad asked, “Hmm…” Then he looked at me over critically. His gaze made me hold my breath for a moment, feeling the tension build up.

“You can’t stare too much, dear, he’s protective.” Mom said.

“Come here to your grandma quickly, I can’t see your face well, I forgot my glasses.” Grandma chimed in. I looked a bit confused before standing up to approach her, seeing that she seemed to be waiting for me, “Sit right here next to grandma.”

“Yes.” I complied, sitting down beside her.

“Is this the one Gene told me about?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, your house is around here, right?” “Yes.” and then grandma started asking me all sorts of questions. I felt somewhat relieved because it seemed like both dad, grandpa, and grandma were okay with me.

“You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, huh?” Joe’s Dad asked Phii Joe, with a slight teasing tone similar to what Phii Joe often uses.

They’re really alike, father and son…

“Ha.”

“It’s good to have someone to keep you in check, I’m tired of having to follow you around.”

“I’ve told you before, if you’re tired, you don’t have to.”

“Your habit of being so smug hasn’t changed at all.”

“It’s not just being smug.”

…Are they about to argue?

I looked at the two of them with concern before his mom nudged me and whispered.

“It’s normal for these two; father and son. Don’t worry, Grandpa and Dad always talk like this, they look tough but love each other to death. Joe is exactly like his father.”

“Oh, really?” I said, feeling more relieved, he really does take after his father.

“Even the playboy nature is all from the father.”

“Ah, I see.” I nodded to show I understood. From what I can tell, his father must have been quite the charmer in his youth. We chatted for a while, and I learned that Phii Joe is very close to his family, especially his grandma.

After chatting for a bit, it was time to part ways because his father had business to attend to. Grandpa and Grandma needed to rest, and Grandma told me I could stay and wander around as I pleased. We walked his parents to the parking lot, and his mom gave Phii Joe a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye.

“Oh, it’s your birthday today, isn’t it? Happy Birthday, son. Mom didn’t bring a gift, can I send one later?” His mom asked me as if she just remembered.

“Thank you. It’s okay, you don’t have to.” I said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“So, since it’s your birthday, do you have any plans to go anywhere?”

“Do you have any?” Phii Joe turned to ask me. I shook my head in response.

“Interested in traveling anywhere? Mom can book it for you.” I was about to say it was unnecessary out of politeness when his mom interrupted, “Do you like the beach? I know a good hotel. I’ll reserve the whole place for you, so you two can have a private birthday celebration.”

“It’s not necessary…”

“It’s a good idea, can’t we just book it?”

“Didn’t you once complain about wanting to go to the beach?”

“That’s true, but renting the whole hotel…”

“It’s fine, I am a VIP anyway. It’s very easy.” Mom said casually. “I’ll book it for you, I’ll let you know later.”

“Um.”

“Come give me a kiss on the cheek before we go.”

“Not allowed.”

“You’re still being protective? I already kissed him last time.”

“Gene.” This time it was Joe’s Dad who called out, sounding like he had grown tired of waiting. “Let’s go, it’s getting late.”

“Let me talk with my son’s boyfriend for a moment.”

“Gene.”

“See, you’re just like him, always scolding.” “Well, Gene is like this, how can he not scold?” Phii Joe chimed in. “Alright, alright, I give up. If that’s the case, we’ll leave now, see you later.” Mom said, sending a sweet smile our way, her eyes clearly showing her happiness as she looked between us. I smiled back, before Mom came over to kiss Phii Joe’s cheek and whispered something to him. I watched the luxurious car drive away, and then Phii Joe took me for a walk around the house.

I looked around excitedly, like being in a drama house. It was even larger than I had imagined, decorated with elegant simplicity, until we reached Phii Joe’s bedroom. I had seen his room at his parents’ house before, but never his high school bedroom.

“Is every room this big?” I exclaimed, it was like combining four of my rooms into one. I hoped he didn’t feel too cramped when he stayed over at my place. The inside wasn’t overly decorated, and it was clean and tidy. Even though he no longer used this room, there must be someone regularly cleaning it.

“Don’t you have any photo albums? North wants to see what you looked like as a kid.”

“Why would you want to see that?”

“Just because I want to, you’ve seen my photo album.”

“If there are any, Grandma probably has them.”

“Too bad.” I said with disappointment before wandering around the room. There were so many championship medals, must be from school sports competitions, “Did you play sports in school too?”

“Yeah, surprised?”

“Not at all, it would be surprising if you didn’t.” I said. How could I be surprised about Phii Joe playing sports? I’ve seen him play basketball amazingly well before. That means he’s been into sports from the beginning.

That must be why he can drink so much and so often without losing his physique. Walking around made me think; this was Phii Joe’s room during high school. That desk is probably where he studied or worked, and that balcony, was that where he often went to smoke? The view from this window must be what Phii Joe looked at for years.

“We can go now.”

“Go where?”

“To get ready for a beach trip.”

“Oh…okay, let’s go.”

I went back home to pack, gathering clothes and essentials. This was an unplanned trip; we hadn’t decided where or how long we’d go, but Phii Joe was free now, so we could stay however long. I secretly felt that we traveled a lot, but perhaps that’s a good thing; we get to relax and experience new things.

“North.”

“Yes?” I turned at the call, seeing my mom leaning against the door frame. Phii Joe was waiting downstairs in the living room.

“Are you going to the beach?”

“Yes.”

“Travel safely, have fun, and take care of yourself.” Mom smiled, then walked over to sit on the bed. I was on the floor packing my bag, “Son.”

“Yes?”

“I am always proud of you, you know that, right?”

“Oh, why are you saying this suddenly?” I asked, puzzled, looking at her on the bed with some confusion.

“It’s your birthday, come here for a hug.” I slowly moved closer and hugged her. She hugged me tightly and gently stroked my head, “Mom loves North very much.” “Yeah, North loves Mom too, the most.” “North, you are the only pride in my life, and I believe your father feels the same way. I’m very happy that I could raise my son to be this strong.”

“Just like Mom, you’re the strongest woman in the world.”

“Because of my son.”

“Yes.” I leaned my head on Mom’s shoulder, it was so warm, Mom’s scent was one that made you nostalgic. I loved this smell so much, before we slowly loosened our embrace.

“My mischievous child.” Mom said, pinching my cheeks playfully.

“Ouch, don’t pinch.” I protested.

“Happy birthday, you’re one year older. I just want to say I’m always proud of you, and your father is too, I believe he’s the proudest of you. No matter what path you choose in life from now on, I will always support you, and I wish you all the happiness and success in everything you desire.”

“Thank you.” I smiled broadly in gratitude. Every birthday, Mom would always come to bless, hug, and say she loves me like this, along with my aunt, who, along with Night, had already wished me early the day before.

“About him.” Mom continued, “I truly feel relieved. He takes care of you well. I can see he loves you a lot. I hope you both stay in love for a long time. In the future, there might be obstacles, but don’t let go of each other, my child. Marriage is about standing by each other’s side.”

“Yes, it sounds like you’re blessing a wedding.”

“I’m just preparing for it. You’ll marry him, right?”

“Uh, if possible, I would love it to be him.”

“On your wedding day, I will give an even longer blessing.”

“Yes, please take care of us then.”

“Have a safe journey, both of you, and take care of yourselves.” Mom blessed us again as she walked us to the door, “Joe.” “Yes?”

“If North is stubborn, you can tell me.”

“Oh, come on, Mom, I am never stubborn.” I pouted, “But how would Phii Joe tell you?”

“Through LINE, of course.”

“You guys have LINE too?”

“Huh, why?” Mom asked with hands on her hips, “We’ve talked a lot already.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I made a pouting face at both of them. Why didn’t I know that Mom and Phii Joe were in contact on LINE? We chatted a bit more before leaving the house.

“Phii, what did you talk about with Mom?” I asked as we were in the car, heading to the airport.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah, I’m curious.” Phii Joe didn’t say anything; he just handed me his phone. I don’t often play with his phone. I’ve never checked anything on it because I thought it wasn’t necessary.

It’s about trust.

More than that, it’s about honesty.

There are no secrets between us. There’s no need to suspect lies or constantly check up on each other, and this brings peace of mind. I believe these things will allow us to be together for a long time.

When you’re at ease with someone, you want to stay with them for a long time.

“…”

I smiled to myself, feeling a bit shy when I saw the phone’s wallpaper, which was a photo of us from our trip to Norway.

It’s the same picture I use. “I am reading your LINE text, okay?” “Go ahead.”

I opened Line and scrolled through the chats to find the one with Mom. While looking, I stumbled upon Phii Joe’s doctor friends’ group chat, which had four members. I was a bit curious about what they talked about, so I sneakily looked.

It was a very inactive group, they hardly ever chatted, mostly about work.

“Your friends…they are kind of an odd bunch, aren’t they?”

“How so?”

“Well…they don’t seem to get along much, like Phii Hill and you, you’re poles apart, and Phii Fah and Phii Arthit are the same.”

“Really?”

“I am really curious about how you all became friends.”

“We were in the same faculty, so staying with them is good enough.”

“If it weren’t for Phii Hill, I guess no one could handle your group.” I smiled and chuckled, having heard something like this before; it must take someone with Phii Hill’s level of patience to tolerate Phii Arthit and Phii Joe, “But, your friends, they all seem very mature, I think.”

“…”

“Hmm?”

“It’s true, even though they’re just a year older than me and Ter, they’re much more mature.”

“Age doesn’t matter for things like that.”

“…”

“And if it wasn’t like that, how could we be together?”

“That’s right.” I nodded in agreement, imagining if the doctors dated someone immature or childish. It wouldn’t work out. That’s probably why they get along.

I tried scrolling through the chats between Phii Joe and Mom. It was all about me; Phii Joe was asking about how I was as a child, what I liked or didn’t like. Even though we’ve been together long enough to know some things about each other, there’s still a lot more to learn.

And I couldn’t help but smile at this small concern.

We arrived in the evening because I don’t often get the chance to travel, so I rarely go to the beach. The last time was during high school, probably on a school trip. I think many people come to the beach not just to swim but to enjoy the atmosphere, the breeze, the sound of the waves, the sand, and the clear sky.

“Do you come to the beach often?” I asked while we were heading to our accommodation, having rented a car specifically for this trip.

“Not really. I don’t see much reason to come.”

“Ha, exactly. If it’s not for work, you probably won’t go on many vacations.” I said, looking out the window, thinking that driving along the beach road in the evening has its own unique charm, “Let’s consider this a vacation. You’ve been really busy with work lately.”

“Yeah.” Phii Joe simply replied, then reached over to gently stroke my head. I turned and gave him a broad smile, “What do you want to eat tonight?”

“Since we’re at the beach, we should have seafood.”

“Check which place you want to go to.”

“Okay.” I quickly took out my phone to read restaurant reviews as instructed. It didn’t take long before we arrived at our accommodation. Mama Gene said it was a private villa, very close to the beach, and there were hardly any other people around, truly private.

We walked into the villa. I looked around with interest. Most of it was clear glass to showcase the view outside, with curtains you could open or close. When you opened the curtains, the place felt very open.

“Wow.” I exclaimed in awe as I opened the bedroom curtains to see the sea view. If we left the curtains open at night, the sky with stars would be beautiful to see. The balcony was wide enough for chairs and a table. Besides a regular bathtub, there was also a hot tub. Downstairs, there was a garden for parties and a swimming pool, just like Mama Gene had mentioned.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, a little.” I said while flopping down onto the soft bed. I really like the view from this bedroom, by the way. After we finished unpacking, we went out to eat.

“Uh, no, you can’t touch this.” I said, reaching out to take what was in Phii Joe’s hand, “I will do it.”

“Stealing the shrimp peeling duty?”

“Yes, you don’t need to peel them, I will show off my shrimp peeling skills.” I said proudly. I was quite confident in my ability to peel shrimp and crab, quickly and well, “Your job is just to eat.”

“You’re so good at this.” Phii Joe commented, lifting his chin to look at me with a clear expression of affection.

“Of course, North is a shrimp-peeling expert.” I said while we sat at the seafood restaurant. Having ordered so much food made me think of Ter, who is a real foodie. If you’re going for a buffet, you should definitely take Ter along; he’ll make sure the restaurant doesn’t go bankrupt with his non-stop eating, “Phii Hill and Ter went to Japan recently.”

“I’ve seen that.”

“Ter must have eaten all the fish on the island, how does Phii Hill keep up?”

“Why wouldn’t he manage?”

“Oh, if North ate as much as Ter?”

“That’s fine too, I can handle it.”

“Really? And what if North ate everything in the restaurant?”

“I could just buy this restaurant.” “Oh…” I was silent for a moment, pouting. Phii Joe wasn’t joking; he really could buy this place T^T

After we finished eating, I suggested to Phii Joe that we go for a walk along the beach. The sun was about to set, and the sky was changing colors. The beach was beautiful now, not too crowded, with the sea breeze blowing in, the sound of waves hitting the shore growing louder, and the cool air touching our skin.

“Feeling any better?” I asked as we reached the beach, referring to his work stress.

“Um, much better.” Phii Joe turned to say, his slight smile making my heart skip a beat again, his large hand reaching to hold mine.

The wind was gently brushing his sharp features, his jet-black hair swaying with the breeze.

“What are you looking at?”

“It’s nothing.” I smiled and shook my head slightly, and he didn’t say anything in response. We held hands and walked along the beach, the surroundings were so beautiful that we forgot the time, and before we knew it, it was getting dark.

“It’s gotten dark.” I said with a hint of disappointment since it was already evening when we arrived. Now we’d have to wait until tomorrow to explore.

“Don’t want to go back yet?”

“Not really. There should be some places to visit at night, right?”

“I heard there’s a walking street in town, want to go?”

“Yes.” I agreed immediately without hesitation, thinking it would be nice to walk around and shop, maybe find some unique items not seen back home.

After driving for a while, we reached the walking street. It wasn’t all that different from the ones back home. We decided to just wander around first, and one thing I noticed was…many people were looking at Phii Joe, especially some girls who turned around to look back at him. If it were me, if I didn’t know Phii Joe beforehand, I’d probably be looking too. From one guy to another, he’d be one of the most enviable and admired.

We returned to the villa with a lot of purchases, especially food for celebrating my birthday together, including alcohol. Speaking of which, I’ve never actually drunk with Phii Joe. We chose to sit on the balcony because the view was better, seeing the sea and the night sky. Tonight there were some stars, and the moon was particularly beautiful.

As I said, the balcony was really spacious, with a table and chairs already set up.

“Phii, if let’s say…”

“…”

“If let’s say I liked you first…”

“Huh?”

“Like, when we started university, if I had chased after you first, what would you have done?” My question made Phii Joe chuckle a bit.

“I wouldn’t have done anything.”

“How so?”

“I’d just let you pursue me.”

“Would it take me a long time to win you over?”

“Probably for a while.”

“Why not? Didn’t you say you liked me from the beginning?”

“Yes, but flirting until you win someone over to be your partner, right?” Phii Joe said, “Letting you keep flirting with me seems fun.”

“You’re the best at teasing, Phii Joe.” I said with a slight pout, imagining how it would be if the roles were reversed, with me flirting with him first, “How long would it take?”

“It depends on how you flirt, how would you do it?” “From morning till night, I would wake up early to wait for you outside your faculty, chat every hour, in the evening I’d wait to have dinner with you, and at night, I would call to talk every day.”

“That’s called being pushy, you know.”

“Oh really?” I said before letting out a smile, I was just joking. If I were to flirt with Phii Joe first, I wouldn’t go to such lengths, just approach him casually like anyone would.

“And…”

“Yes?”

“And if you didn’t approach me, could it be possible for me to like you first?”

“Uh…” I fell silent, taking a moment to think, “Probably…not.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, you shouldn’t even ask that.”

“Why?”

“If you didn’t like me beforehand, like if you never knew me, and then I liked you…would you have any feelings for me?”

“I would feel something, because it’s you.”

“…”

“Just you being North, I’m already defeated in every way.”

Oh…

That’s right.

Phii Joe likes me because I am me.

“I’m so happy.” I smiled to myself, looking up at him.

“But when you asked if I would like you first, I would say no anyway.” I said, “You were quite famous back then, I heard a lot of people talking about you, did you know how famous you were?” “Kind of.” Phii Joe replied, not too concerned, “Is that why you wouldn’t like me?”

“Partly, how should I put it…If I had liked you, it would have been hopeless, right?” I said from my perspective, “You seemed out of reach.”

“Actually, at first, I was surprised, wondering why someone like you would like me. At first, being close to you was quite confusing, but…”

“But?”

“I didn’t think much about it.” I said with a chuckle, remembering telling Ter that I didn’t really think about it, you could do what you wanted, my thoughts back then were just about debts.

“I had already thought that you wouldn’t think much about it.”

I didn’t reply, just smiled and took a sip of my drink, something like local liquor or wine, it had a unique but tasty flavor.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” I answered, then grimaced after swallowing, feeling my throat constrict, “After a while, I’ll definitely get drunk, it’s so strong.”

When my throat feels astringent from liquor, I often think I’m particularly weak to that type of alcohol and tend to get drunk more easily than usual.

“Weakling.”

“Well, I’m not as tough as you, how do you make yourself hard to get drunk like you?”

“Don’t try.” Phii Joe said before setting his wine glass down. The balcony was wide, the view outside was beautiful, the gentle breeze, and the sound of waves hitting the shore periodically. If we lit some candles, it would be quite romantic.

“Do you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Do you like this place?” “I love it, love it a lot.” I said with a wide smile. I really liked it, the place was beautiful, the atmosphere was great, and the person I was with was someone I always wanted to be with.

“Between organizing a party and bringing someone here for a trip like this, which do you prefer?”

“Don’t ask, if you already know.”

“How did you know I knew?”

“Phii Joe, you know.” I said, “You knew what I liked, so you chose that.”

Of course, going out together like this is better than any chaotic party. Throwing a party means inviting a lot of people, and getting friends to come is already hard enough, especially since everyone goes back to their homes.

I stood up from the table when the wind started blowing stronger, leaning against the balcony rail, letting the cool breeze touch my skin. Even though it was dark, the moonlight still provided some light, allowing me to see the sea a bit.

“You knew all along, didn’t you?”

“Not everything.” Phii Joe said, before standing up beside me.

“That’s not true, you understand everything about me, you might even know what I am thinking right now.”

“There’s one thing I don’t know.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know if you will say yes.”

“Yes?”

“Marry me.”

I froze, not knowing how to react, looking at what was in Phii Joe’s hand. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts, my heart started beating wildly, and suddenly, tears I didn’t know where they came from started to flow.

“Uh…are you serious?” “Completely.”

“Phii…” My hands started trembling with surprise; it was almost unbelievable. The tears turned into sobs, and my heart felt warm and fuzzy.

“I just wanted to make it official, I’ve been trying to change myself for this.”

“…”

“To be able to take care of you North, so…let me take care of you; my North.”

“…”

“Can I take care of you for the rest of your life?”

“You already know my answer, don’t you? Mmmhpf…” I started to struggle to hold back my tears, letting them flow without any shame.

I didn’t know what this feeling was inside me now.

   It must be…

   Happiness.

   Impression.

   Joy.

   And love.

   “I also feel…I also know what you would say, because it’s you, huff…because it’s you, that’s why, because it’s you, Phii Johan, I am overwhelmed by all this, huff.”

“And…did you get it?”

“Yes, I did, forever, for my whole life, me too, I will take care of you for life.” I said with a voice muffled by sobs, a strong hand gently taking mine.

And slipping a ring onto my ring finger…

“Don’t cry.” Phii Johan said, gently wiping my tears away. I immediately threw myself into his embrace.

“Phii…huff.”

“You’re such a crybaby. You cried even when I asked you to be my boyfriend.” “Well…it’s just…” I hugged Phii Joe as tightly as I could. I hadn’t expected him to do something like this here.

Marriage…

   Yes, I had talked about it with Mom before,

   “If possible, I’d like to marry this person…”

“But…isn’t it too soon?”

“Yeah. We’ll get engaged first, and then get married after we graduate.”

“Oh…okay.” I nodded in understanding.

“By then, will you still agree?”

“Yes. Definitely.” I smiled, “For you, I wouldn’t have any other answer.”

The first time I said yes…was when we became a couple.

   The second time…was when we got engaged.

   And the third time…will be at our wedding.

   “Then from now on…we’re not just dating, right?” I said, wiping away my tears, my heart still pounding fiercely, and my hands still trembling.

“Yes…we’re fiancés now.”

“But we should probably talk to our parents about this first, right?”

“I’ve talked to them.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve talked to both sides.”

“Really?” I asked in surprise. Did Phii Joe really talk to both my mom and his family about the engagement?

“And what did my mom say?”

“If she didn’t approve, I wouldn’t have brought the ring.”

“My mom is okay with it?”

“Yes.” Phii Joe nodded, giving me a slight smile, “At first, she seemed a bit worried, we talked about it being just an engagement for now, and that I wouldn’t pressure you. She said to go with what you want, but she also said…you probably wouldn’t refuse anyway.”

“Oh…” I drew out the word. That’s why Mom was talking about marriage and giving so many blessings – she already knew.

“And what about your family?”

“Gene is very excited, she even blessed us hoping you would agree.”

“Blessed us?”

“Yes. Before we left the house.”

That’s right, before Gene left, I saw her whispering something to Phii Joe, and she was looking at us with such joy.

“Actually, Gene said she wanted me to surprise you, but I’m not very good at surprises.”

“It’s not necessary.” I said with a sweet smile, “This alone is more than enough to make me happy.”

No need for surprises for me, as I’ve mentioned before, I prefer simplicity over extravagance. I looked down at the ring on my finger.

From now on, I’ll be wearing this for a long time.

“The ring is beautiful. Did you pick it out yourself?”

“I had it custom made.”

“Wow, it must have been quite expensive then.” I casually asked, but with Phii Joe, it wouldn’t be surprising if it was.

“I just thought it would suit you well.”

“It’s been the best birthday ever.” I mentioned, while we were still standing on the balcony, with the wine glass still in my hand, the wind blowing continuously, the soft yellow light from the side lamps, and I was starting to feel a bit drunk. The atmosphere was quite nice, “Phii.” “Hmm.” Phii Joe responded softly. “Ha-ha.” but I ended up chuckling softly. I didn’t quite understand myself, but I felt an overwhelming happiness that left me unsure what to do.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.”

“Drunk.”

“Not drunk.”

“You’re good at arguing.”

“Really not drunk, don’t believe me?” I asked, turning to smile at him, reaching out to gently touch his hand to my cheek, “Phii Joe, don’t you trust me?”

I carefully kissed his long fingers, looking up to meet his gaze. We locked eyes, and strangely, I dared to meet that look.

“I believe you.”

That’s all Phii Joe said, giving a sly smile, seemingly pleased with the way I was looking at him. He reached out with both hands to my waist, lifting me up to sit on the table.

“Ah!” I exclaimed in surprise, nearly dropping the wine glass, so I quickly set it down on the table before it fell.

His lips pressed against mine slowly, moving his body closer to me as I sat on the table, parting my legs and pressing himself closer. I could smell the alcohol from myself.

Yes…I am drunk.

“Hmm.” I moaned into his mouth as his hot tongue intensified its assault, nibbling and sucking on my lips, the kiss taking my breath away. My hands gripped his arms tightly, our tongues intertwining without pause.

He slowly pulled back from the kiss. I followed his beautiful eyes with mine, unable to look away. “Those eyes, are you teasing me?” “Uh…what if I say yes?” I asked, smiling at him, the wine giving me courage that I usually lacked, unlike my usual shy self who could barely meet his gaze. “What will you do?”

“Hmm?”

Dangerous…

Something in my body warned me that this man was dangerous.

To my heart.

Very much so…

Phii Joe ran his hand through his hair, revealing a charmingly seductive smile, his hot gaze making me melt countless times.

I shouldn’t have…said that.

“Phii…Phii can’t promise tonight…”

“…”

“That I’ll be as gentle as you want, little North.”

Because the balcony was near the bedroom, I was soon carried and laid on the bed in no time. Phii Joe took off his shirt, revealing his smooth, fair skin and beautifully toned abs.

No matter how many times I see it, it still makes my heart race every time.

Sitting on the bed, my mind somewhat hazy, I slightly squinted my eyes as they felt heavy.

“Phii…”

“Hmm?”

“Be gentle with North.” I requested; something I usually ask every time before we do this, because Phii Joe…he’s always so rough, “North is a good boy.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, very good.” “A good boy should listen to what I say, right?” “Yes, North will obey.”

“If so…undress.”

“…”

I slowly undressed as instructed, until my body was completely uncovered, the gaze upon me making me feel even more embarrassed.

“Come here.”

I moved closer to the person in front of me, Phii Joe was sitting on the bed. I was then positioned to straddle him.

“Be a good boy for me tonight.” His deep voice whispered by my ear. My face flushed with heat, and my heart started beating faster. I nodded in agreement.

I’ll be a good boy for you…

   “Ah!” I exclaimed in surprise when suddenly something cold touched my entrance, it was Phii Joe’s finger, coated with lubricant, touching and circling. Just the tip of his finger touching was enough to send shivers all through my stomach, causing me to lift my hips unintentionally due to the sensation.

“Uh…” The slender finger quickly entered me. I wasn’t fully straddling him, but kneeling over him. When I felt like I was losing strength, I leaned against his chest.

The finger went in as deep as possible, not allowing me to catch my breath or get used to it before another finger, then two, then three were added.

“Ah!” I felt Phii Joe searching for my sweet spot with his fingers. It wasn’t just the rhythm of entering and exiting; he began moving his fingers inside me, “Ah…”

Wait…just with his fingers, I’m about to…

   But…you said you’d be gentle.

   Ouch…it hurts.

   “Umm…” I clenched my lips tightly, moaning in my throat as the tip of his other finger touched my nipple, then his hot tongue began to lick and play with the other, biting and sucking until I felt shivers all over my chest, my vision blurring. I looked down at Phii Joe, who was using his tongue on my chest, sucking and leaving red marks as a sign of possession.

It made me feel even more sensitive than before.

“Uh, Phii…it feels so good.”

“Do you like it?”

“Ye…yes. Suck harder, more…Ahhh!” I moaned loudly when he complied, biting and sucking harder as I had asked. It would surely leave red marks. I wasn’t sure why I was bold enough to say such things; perhaps because my mind was no longer in control.

“Uh…North is going to…” It didn’t take long for me to reach my peak, releasing a milky white fluid all over, and as soon as I released, the intensity seemed to drop instantly.

I was startled when he suddenly turned me around.

“Ahhh!” His large member thrust into me without warning. Normally, Phii Joe wouldn’t rush like this, but with me on my knees and facing away, I could feel his full length inside me, causing a deep ache in my lower abdomen.

It’s…too big.

“Uh, uh, uh, ohhh.” I groaned into my throat as he began moving quickly, a mix of pain and pleasure. My arms were pulled back, bringing me closer to him, contrasting with the forceful thrusts.

This made him penetrate even deeper.

“Ahhh, ah, uhh!” I collapsed onto the bed, my strength gone, but I was pulled back up by the grip on my arms. Phii Joe held both my hands with one of his, while the other hand squeezed and kneaded my hips.

“Your hole is gripping me so tightly.”

“Uh, and…do you like it…uh, or not?” “You’ll find out soon.” The grip tightened, his hand roamed over my hips before moving down to grasp my hardening member again.

“Uh, no…don’t touch.”

“Cute.” Phii Joe leaned in close, whispering in my ear, the thrusts still strong enough to make my whole body tremble. He released my arms, and I placed them on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly to handle the sensations from both front and back.

His large hand moved from the tip to the base of my member, starting to stroke it rapidly.

“Ahhh, uh, ahhh.” I was moaning incoherently, my mind almost blank at this point. I couldn’t handle the sensations anymore, whether it was the warm hand moving up and down or the rhythm of his body.

All of it was driving me nearly insane.

I was breathing heavily, my chest heaving, trying to stifle my moans but failing, my breathing almost not catching up.

Phii Joe pulled my body up so I was facing upward, switching our positions so that I was kneeling and he was underneath. He thrust his hips up, pushing the length of himself into me forcefully, using his hands to guide my hips as he wanted.

“Ah, ah, ahh, uh…” Gradually, he spread my legs wider to penetrate deeper, pressing kisses along my back, and leaving bite marks to show possession. One of his hands moved to hold my erection again.

Even though it was embarrassing, it felt good…

Really good…

“I…uh, please…I, ahh…”

“Are you going to come again?”

“Yes…uh, yes, Phii, ahh…”

And I released once more, unable to hold back, the sensation was too much. This time, it left me feeling more exhausted than before, but while I had already finished again, Phii Joe hadn’t.

“Ah! Phii, what…what are you doing?”

“Want to change the scenery a bit?”

Suddenly, Phii Joe turned me to face him, lifting me up without pulling out, got off the bed, and walked towards the balcony.

The balcony…?

“No, no.” I tried to protest, but to no avail. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he walked, causing his thrusts to hit at a different angle, making me cry out again, “Ah, uh…”

The cool breeze touched my skin, and I could still hear the sound of the waves crashing. I turned to see the light from the lamps shining in.

We were doing it…

On the balcony…

“Ah! ahh, uh, uhh.” I cried out as Phii Joe started moving again, his strong arms not letting me down, making me cling to him even tighter. The thrusts felt even stronger in this position compared to when we were on the bed.

“Do you like this kind of atmosphere?”

“Ah…uh! uh, I…I like it, uh! yes.” I responded with my eyes tightly shut, my nails inadvertently digging into his neck as I tried to cope with the overwhelming pleasure, the pace quickening and intensifying, almost unbearable.

I can’t…I can’t take much more…

It’s so deep…

It felt like my heart might burst, the sensations of emptiness and intense pleasure rushing through me, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, emphasizing the point of my sensitivity. Phii Joe leaned down, pressing his lips against mine. I responded immediately, our tongues intertwining, creating embarrassing sounds.

Before Phii Joe slowly withdrew, laid me down, and entered again from behind, taking his time to thrust all the way in once more. The motion created a friction between our bodies that was…incredibly pleasurable.

I reached up, gripping the balcony rail tightly…

“Ahhh, uh! uh, please…Phii Joe, uh…I.” I began speaking incoherently, not even knowing what I was saying.

“Do you know…”

Suddenly, his deep voice grew husky, and when it did, it sounded incredibly sexy.

Damn…this man, how can he be so sexy and alluring?

“I love it most when my little North calls my name like this, with this voice.”

“Uh, ah…”

“Say it again, please.”

“Mmm…Phii…Joe.” I called out his name with a strained voice.

“Just the name.”

“Ahhh, Johan, uh…mmm, I…Johan, inside…again…uh, deeper.”

“Mmm…” His deep voice groaned softly, “You really are a good boy, aren’t you?”

“Uh! uh! uh!” I moaned in rhythm with his forceful movements, but I had to bite my lip to keep from being too loud, afraid someone might be nearby.

Because right now, we were outside…

Even though this was a private area and no one was around or passing by.

“Your voice is so sweet.” Phii Joe said in that deep tone of his. I was almost melting with every action, Phii Johan held my chin, turned my face back, and kissed me passionately, our tongues intertwining until I had to break the kiss for air.

“Uh…” I reached my climax and released again, Phii Joe slowed down, and I slowly opened my eyes, turning to look at the person behind me.

Phii Joe smirked again, running his hand through my hair as he often liked to do. I quickly turned away, feeling embarrassed because he was still inside me, and then he thrust again with force, catching me off guard.

“Ah! Ahhh!” His hands gripped my hips to meet his thrusts, making it even more intense. I was panting, feeling like I was drowning, “Phii…Phii, oh.”

“Hmm…”

“Too…too hard…I, I…can’t, ahh!”

The rhythm was intense, hitting my sweet spot. Even though I felt like I couldn’t take much more…I wanted more…

   More than this…

   Even more…

   Before I felt an increase in pleasure, almost reaching another peak, his body jerked slightly, and warm liquid filled me from behind, while I also came again.

The large length was slowly pulled out. I was still aware of every sensation where we were connected.

“Ah!” I cried out again when it was fully withdrawn, warm fluid flowed down my thighs, feeling it spread throughout my abdomen.

Phii Joe lifted my chin and leaned down to give me a gentle kiss, wiping away my tears with his fingers, kissing me softly and tenderly. My mind was blank, unable to form any thoughts or words, before he scooped me up and carried me inside.

I, being quite exhausted, rested my head against him, and my consciousness slipped away. I woke up again, finding myself on the bed, leaning against Phii Joe’s chest. I slowly looked up at him.

“Phii…”

“Already awake?” He asked, kissing my temple. Phii Joe had put a large shirt on me. He was only wearing pants. We were on the bed covered by a blanket.

“Yes.” I replied softly, giving a light kiss on his lips.

“You’re so handsome.”

“Hmm.”

“My boyfriend is so handsome.” I said, reaching out to caress his cheek, “No, my fiancé is really handsome.”

“And do you like that?”

“I like it…” I answered.

“I like this, Phii.” I said, touching close to his beautiful eyes, “I really like your eyes, they’re so beautiful, has anyone told you that?”

“They have.”

“But now they belong to me.”

“…”

“Your eyes are mine.”

“…”

“Your nose too.”

“…”

“And your lips.”

“…”

“Everything is mine.” I smiled, Phii Joe looked at me with eyes that seemed to adore, giving me a faint smile. “All of it belongs to me.” I smiled broadly at the reaffirmation. Yes…all mine. I don’t know where he got such charm from, but I’m already so enamored with Phii Joe that there’s no turning back.

“Yes. Definitely.”

“And North, are you mine?”

“Yes.” I raised my hand to touch my own face, “And this…this too, and this.” Touching my eyes, cheeks, and lips. Finally, stopping at my heart, “Including this, North is all Phii Joe’s, both body and heart.”

“How long have you been mine?”

“Quite a long time now.”

“How long?”

“Since…you entered my life, it didn’t take long…for me to fall deeply in love with you.” My words made him show a satisfied smile.

“Where did you get this much cuteness from?”

“Me…cute?”

“Very cute.” The deep voice whispered by my ear, moving down to kiss along my neck and shoulder, before taking my hand and kissing the ring he had just put on.

“Thank you, for the ring.” I expressed my gratitude which I seemed to have forgotten to say at first.

“Hmm.”

“It’s really beautiful, I will take very good care of it.”

“Oh…make sure to take good care of it, until we change the ring.”

“Change the ring?”

“Change it to the family ring.”

“Oh…right.” A family like Phii Joe’s must have a family ring, “This family ring must be very valuable.” “Something like that.” “Will you give it to me?”

“It won’t have value if it’s not with you.”

“…”

“At first, Gene thought that ring wouldn’t be used. Because I never thought about getting married.”

“…”

“Never thought about marriage, until I met you, North.”

“Yes, thank you, in the future, if I receive that ring, I will cherish it just as well.” I smiled, leaning into him, “Uh…but will you bathe me?”

“Not yet. Just cleaned up.”

“…”

“Oh…mmm.” I let out a shy sound in my throat, still not used to him cleaning me up after these moments.

“Does your back hurt?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Want to soak in hot water? Actually, I wanted to take you to soak from the start, but I was worried you might not feel well.”

“Hot water soaking?” I repeated the words, there’s also a hot tub here, right? “Together?”

“Yes.”

“Uh…no, thank you.”

“Come on.”

“But…but.” Soaking together would surely…lead to another round, without a doubt. Before I could brace myself, I was lifted from the bed and carried away, “No, really.” “It’s fine, like I said.” “…” “This time, I’ll be gentle.” “…”

“Okay.”

Uh…look into those eyes…

   As if they could swallow me whole.

   And I…succumbed.

   “Uh…” I said softly, Phii Joe kissed the tips of my fingers, trailing up along them, nibbling gently before lifting my hand a little to press a kiss on the inside of my wrist.

“Huh…don’t tease me anymore.”

“Okay.”

The sound of water moved with our bodies. We were completely naked, soaking together in the hot tub, the high temperature of the water also raising our body heat.

“Mmm…” I made a sound in my throat, my eyes fluttering, as I straddled Phii Joe’s lap in the hot tub with water up to chest level. He kissed me fervently, biting my upper and lower lips, his hot tongue exploring as if trying to satisfy his overflowing desire. My breath came in rapid heaves, my chest rising and falling, my heart pounding as if it might burst out, my face and body flushed with heat.

I opened my eyes slightly to look at the person in front of me, his dark hair slicked back because it was wet, Phii Joe ran his hand through his hair in irritation as it was falling in his face. I reached out to gently caress his face, my fingers trailing down, brushing against the earring he was wearing.

Phii Joe doesn’t wear it often, but I like it when he does.

It makes him look dangerously attractive. Yet, irresistibly charming. And I’ve fallen for that charm of this man… It seems my mischievous hand was pushing his patience even further. I felt the thing below getting even bigger.

“Uh…” He moved to bite my neck and around my ear, one of his strong hands stroking my hips. The heat from his touch made my stomach and chest feel hollow and tingling more than before, his slender fingers entering me again and starting to move. This time, it wasn’t as painful. It felt like he was just preparing me for another round, “Ugh, ahh.”

His warm breath was at my ear…

“Ah!” I gasped in surprise when the finger was removed, Phii Joe pushed me against the other side of the hot tub, splashing water, then he leaned in close, spreading my legs, his large length slowly entering me under the hot water. As he began to move in and out with increasing force, the water in the tub rippled along.

“Ahh, uh…” Not sure if it was due to the water, but it felt tight…when he was entering, it was as if the sensation was emphasized even more.

“Ah! Ah! Mmm…” I clenched my lips tight as he started moving, Phii Johan used both hands to lift my legs over his shoulders, pressing on my inner thighs to allow deeper penetration.

I opened my eyes to look up at the person above, Phii Joe licked his lips slightly, his gaze was the most seductive. I saw his strong chest and muscular abdomen covered with water droplets.

Phii Joe looked incredibly intense when he’s passionate.

His handsome face and wet, slicked-back hair.

“Uh, ah! please…Phii, ah.” I called out to him with need, breathing through both my mouth and nose but still feeling like I wasn’t getting enough air, reaching out one hand towards him. Phii Joe took my hand, and kissed along my fingers. … “Uh, I guess I couldn’t be gentle.” “Did you just realize?”

“Tonight, my love…you’re adorably crazy.”

I pouted, lying in bed in the morning, Phii Joe always likes to tease, especially about things like this.

“You’re mean.” I said, burrowing into the blanket, it seemed like he woke up before me today. Well, after what happened last night, how could I wake up first?

“What do you mean by mean?”

“I don’t know, just mean.”

Before the blanket was pulled off me.

“Good morning.” That voice, smile, words, and expression made it impossible for me to stay mad. I pouted slightly before smiling without realizing it.

How could I be angry with him…

Phii Johan leaned down to gently press his lips against mine, slowly pulling away. We exchanged smiles as the morning sunlight filtered into the room.

No matter how many days pass…it will always be like this.

Waking up and finding each other like this.

“Good morning, my boyfriend.” I said, “Uh, no…fiancé.”

“Right.” Phii Joe said.

“Uh…right, I almost forgot.” I said, as if just remembering the handmade gift I intended to give Phii Joe. I reached over to my bag by the bed, took out a handmade photo box, and handed it to him, “Here’s your gift.”

“Hmm.” Phii Joe raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise, then took it and opened it immediately. It was a photo box filled with pictures of us, some slightly edited, with cute messages written on them. Phii Joe revealed a smile upon seeing the gift. “It’s your birthday, but why are you giving me a gift?” “It’s not about the birthday.” “Then what’s the special occasion?” “In honor of our day.”

“Our day?”

“Yes, every day is ours, every day we have together is the most special day.” I smiled. Phii Joe reached up to stroke my head and looked at me with affectionate eyes, leaning in for a gentle kiss.

“Thank you, for every day that’s ours.” Phii Joe said, “And I…want every day to be ours.”

“Yes.” I smiled in agreement, watching Phii Joe carefully look through my handmade gift, happy that he liked it, “I made it myself, like, from choosing the materials.”

“You did well.” Phii Joe complimented, squeezing my cheek playfully, “Can you get up now?”

“I think so.”

“Let’s rest first. I’ll take you somewhere in the afternoon.”

“Where to?”

“To choose a ring for me.”

“Oh…” I nodded in understanding. The ring should be for both of us, our engagement ring, “I will choose for you very carefully.”

“Hmm, I’m counting on you.”

“Going from boyfriend to fiancé, will anything change for us?” I asked, my question made him look back at me immediately from the gift in his hand.

“Nothing.”

“…”

“I’ve never changed, and I will never change.” Phii Joe said, kissing my forehead. I felt the warmth and tenderness he conveyed. “I won’t change either.” “Yeah, I know.” “Then…from now on, I entrust myself to you as your fiancé.”

“I will take the best care of you, thank you for letting me look after North.”

“Thank you too.”

“I love you, North.”

“North loves you too, Phii Joe.”

Love…

   The most…

     NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 33 part 1

    Chapter 33: Epilogue

   Our places : )

   I looked out at the view outside intently as we were driving around the outskirts of the city. Right now, it wasn’t snowing, but there was still snow covering everything – rooftops, trees, roads, all white.

It’s a bit of a shame we missed seeing the snow fall, since this is the end of the winter season.

“If we keep driving, where will we end up?”

“Bergen.”

“Wow, that’s far, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can I turn on some music?”

“Of course.”

   I zoned out again, listening to the soothing music playing, driving on the road outside the city. The beautiful scenery along with the nice music made me feel so relaxed, as if all the accumulated fatigue was totally gone.

   It feels like I could stay like this forever…

   With this person…

   I glanced at the person driving and found myself smiling.

   “You’re really good at driving.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but the first time I rode with you, I was very scared.” I started a conversation, “You drove so fast.”

“I’m used to it.”

“But lately, you’ve been driving slower.”

“Because you were scared.” “Ha ha.” I laughed dryly at him, feeling embarrassed once again in my heart. I love it when he says he’s willing to change something for me. “You used to race cars too, didn’t you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You don’t race anymore?”

“Not anymore.”

“Actually, I secretly want to see you race.”

“You want to see?”

“Yes, but…” I paused, “Better not, it’s dangerous. Plus, there are lots of girls around.”

“Hmm.” Phii Joe gave a slight smile, “No time for racing anyway.”

“But you don’t have much work these days.”

“It’s better to spend time with a certain person around here.” Said the person in the driver’s seat, reaching over to gently pinch my cheek. I turned to give him a wide smile.

“Exactly, better to be with me.”

We kept driving until we stopped on the side of the road, an open area covered with snow. Looking a bit further, it seemed to become like a hill and there appeared to be a small village.

“Snow!” I said excitedly as I got out of the car. Once outside, I immediately felt the cold. It was so warm in the car just moments ago, “This is the first time I’ve seen snow.”

“Be careful not to slip.” Phii Joe warned as I started running towards an open area. Upon hearing this, I stopped running and walked carefully instead, squatting down and touching the snow with my hand.

“Wow, it’s cold. Can I play with it?”

“Go ahead.” “Yay!” I sat down on a snow pile, scooping up the white, icy fluff, and turned to see Phii Joe looking at me with an affectionate gaze. I lifted my camera to capture the views around, “The snow here, it’s like being inside a snow globe.”

My words made Phii Joe slightly furrowed his brows.

“Really, it’s like when you go to the zoo and enter the snow dome area.”

“Hmm.”

“But a snow dome definitely doesn’t have such beautiful views.” I said excitedly again, “And the ticket for a snow dome is expensive, you only get the cold.” I stood up and walked towards a small village nearby.

The houses and structures here are quite unusual, but I thought they were beautiful, especially with these trees, just like in movies or pictures.

I secretly took a picture of Phii Joe while he was looking elsewhere, and I smiled to myself at the photo I captured.

Just looking at the picture makes me smile, huh? You’re having too much of an effect on my heart, North…

After enjoying the view and taking enough photos, we drove back to the city because we had to return the rental car on time. We planned to rent the car for just one day and then move on to other places. We had already checked into our hotel in the city center before renting the car.

“Thanks for letting me drive around, the view was breathtaking.” I said, smiling widely before looking down at the camera to browse through the photos again. I feel like I’ve been smiling so much my cheeks hurt, “Shall we go for a walk in the city?”

“Hmm.”

We wandered around the city, stopping at tourist spots to take photos, and had dinner. By evening, it got even colder.

“It’s really cold, isn’t it?” “Want to hold hands?”

“Yeah.” I smiled broadly and took my hand out of my coat pocket, reaching for the hand of the person walking beside me.

So warm…

I love his hand so much, it’s always warm.

Can we hold hands like this for a long time?

“Fog?” I exclaimed in surprise as suddenly fog descended. I had seen a review once mentioning that sometimes when the sun is about to set, fog might come down, but I didn’t expect to encounter it myself.

Wow…

We walked to the edge of a wall that was about chest-high, below which was the sea. From here, you could see the city on the other side, but because of the fog, it wasn’t very clear, though you could see the lights shining from there.

It’s like a city from a fairy tale.

You probably won’t find a view like this anywhere else in the world.

I was mesmerized by the sight for a long time until the fog began to clear, and then the sun was setting instead. The sky started to turn orange, displaying a gradient of colors. The scene before me almost stopped my heart again; it was so beautiful. I want to remember this image for as long as I can.

I’ll remember that I stood here and watched this magnificent view with the person I love the most.

I’ll remember it very well…

“Let’s take a photo.” I said once I had finished taking pictures of the view. We took a couple of photos together and watched until the sun disappeared from sight.

I posted our photo with the orange sky and the setting sun in the background. Not long after, I noticed Phii Joe posted a photo too, but it wasn’t of us together or the view; it was a picture of me with my back to his camera because I was holding my camera taking a photo of the sky.

I was slightly surprised why he chose to post a photo of me instead of the view or us together, but when I saw the caption, I couldn’t help but smile.

The caption read, ‘My view :)’

   “Is this what they call a starry night sky?” I asked. It was almost midnight now. We hadn’t returned to the hotel because I was too busy strolling and enjoying the view. I had heard Norway is a city that never sleeps, which might well be true; even at this late hour, the city lights were still bright and beautiful.

I looked up at the Norwegian night sky, full of twinkling stars. We sat down in the same area, close to where we watched the sun set in the evening.

If there are stars, it means the sky is clear, a good sign that there might be the Northern Lights.

We’ll be able to see the Northern Lights soon.

I took out my phone to take a picture of the sky full of stars, then turned to take a photo of the person next to me as well.

“I think I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“Why Ter likes to take photos of Phii Hill. At first, I was puzzled why he took so many, Phii Hill looks the same every day.”

“And why is that?”

“Wanting to keep them just to look at on his own.” I said with an embarrassed smile, “And never get tired of looking.”

“You’re quite good at flirting too.” Phii Joe said before turning to look at me, the gentle breeze blowing, making his hair flutter, which made him even more appealing to look at. Right…

I think I understand now.

If I were to look, I could look all day. No, for a lifetime.

“But you’re not allowed to look back.” I said playfully because I can never maintain eye contact with Phii Joe for more than five seconds; I really am no match for those eyes.

“Hmm, that’s cheating then.”

“Cheating how?” I replied, pouting slightly.

“It’s cheating.”

“…”

“Who else in the world…”

“…”

“…could make me love them this much?”

“Then…Phii, you’re cheating too.”

“…”

“Who else in the world…”

“…”

“…could make me love you this much?”

I am one of those people who still believe in love. I’m not enchanted by the glitz or the excitement. I love the simplicity that can stay with us the longest.

I love every day when I wake up and someone is there to hug me.

I love making coffee for that person every morning.

Waking him up and giving him a good morning kiss.

I love the words of love, just saying that I love him the most. Just one word, but it’s meaningful because it comes from the heart, it’s all the feelings there are for this person.

Love you the most…that’s all. I want to see him happy every day, and I’m enchanted by that smile. I like it when he calls my name. I like it when he refers to himself as ‘Phii’. I like it when he drinks the coffee I make, the way he holds his pen when working, the way he rolls up his sleeves, his walking posture, I love it when he’s focused on something, the fresh clean scent that clings to me after we hug, his strong hands that embrace me, his hand reaching out to brush the hair from my face, squeezing my cheek with an affectionate look, his deep voice, every time he speaks or whispers softly in my ear. I’m captivated by those eyes, the sharp nose, the well-shaped lips, his fair skin, the tattoos on his arm and waist, the physique of someone who loves to work out.

The first time I saw Phii Johan was in a photo.

A man so handsome that everyone had to stop and look, with a casually styled hair, just a quick comb through as he liked, wearing a crucifix and black hoop earrings, a shirt, dark jeans, and blue sneakers, grinning at the camera as if he knew he was being secretly photographed.

Back then, I scrolled past that photo without much thought. Just another senior at the university who was very popular, surrounded by many rumors and people, someone who would never know someone like me.

But he…waited for me for three years.

If it were me, I would never have thought to like someone like him first, it seemed impossible that someone like Phii Joe, who had everything, would look at someone like me who had nothing.

But he walked into my life, acting as if he was just an ordinary man, and told me…that I was his lifelong dream.

It started with him reaching out to help, care, pay attention, and be kind. Even though initially it wasn’t very clear, he made it clearer every time we met, then he hugged me and whispered that I was his comfort. He showed that he needed me, gave me what I most wanted in life…to be someone’s place of rest, and told me he loved me on the day I needed to hear it the most.

He made me worry and miss him, becoming a part of my ordinary days, someone I wanted to see, the voice I wanted to hear, the warmth I craved, someone I wanted to entrust my heart to.

Before he disappeared on the day I was most concerned, he vanished to the other side of the world, during a time when it felt like my heart was taken with him. Every feeling was of worry…I’ve never felt this much, it swirled in my head for twenty-four hours, every minute, almost every second.

And on an unexpected day, he came back, clarified our status, told me he loved me again, making me want to reply a million times.

Agreeing, ‘okay’, a million times over.

Before I knew it, I couldn’t do without this man…

The one who took off his jacket to give to me on a bitterly cold day like no one else had ever done, the one who would stand in the rain to pick me up without caring if he got wet, and who made me willing to get wet in the rain just to meet him.

The one who would eat sweets despite not liking them because I made them, the one who dislikes the heat but still came to watch over me, the one who smoked but quit because I asked him to, the one who wouldn’t drink so he could drive me home, the one who used to be very flirtatious but stopped for me, the one who started working hard because he said he wanted to be my support, the one who made time for me no matter how busy he was, the one who took me to see movies and worked all night without sleep afterward.

The one who was jealous even of my smiles, the one who bought things for me just because I mentioned wanting them, the one who took me everywhere I wanted to go, the one who did everything to keep me from crying and to preserve my smile.

Everything he did for me,

I don’t know what to call it,

If not love.

“Have you ever been to Norway?” I asked casually, while still gazing at the stars.

“Once.”

“Did you see the stars like tonight?”

“I did.”

“Was it beautiful? Would there be a sky and stars more beautiful than tonight?”

“There’s no star more beautiful than this one.”

The person next to me said that before falling silent. I then turned to look, finding that he was already looking at me, with no intention of looking away.

“…”

“The sky looks much more beautiful now, you know.”

“Phii…”

“The stars are the same, how can they be this beautiful?” Phii Joe said while gently brushing my hair, those eyes that I often lose to looking at me as if they were captivated by something.

He said the sky and the stars were beautiful.

But he never turned to look at the sky or the stars.

Only to me…

“That’s right, the sky and the stars tonight are the most beautiful.”

The sky and the stars we look at together are the most beautiful.

   And they’ll always be beautiful forever…

   “Can we go to see more beautiful skies and stars together in many more places?” I asked, squeezing the same hand I hadn’t let go of yet. “Of course.” I love that slight smile he gives me, and the warm hand that reaches out to stroke my head. I immediately smiled broadly.

“Yes.”

We woke up early to take a ferry to the island where we would watch the northern lights. Initially, I was hesitant about which city to go to for the northern lights, but since I wanted to take the ferry, we decided to cross to the island. It took quite a while to get there. When checking into our accommodation, the owner said there was a chance to see the northern lights tonight, around 3 or 4 AM

“The northern lights, oh, I am so excited.” I said excitedly while looking at the photos on my camera.

“You’ve been excited since the airport.”

“Yes, I feel so energetic right now, I could climb mountains or dive.” I said, feeling extremely eager, like I was overflowing with energy even though I had slept just a little the night before.

“That’s right, how many batteries did you put in?”

“No batteries, I charged.”

“Charged?”

“Like this.” I said, immediately hugging Phii Joe. He looked slightly surprised before hugging me back.

“Is this charging the battery?”

“Yes.” before hugging him tighter and seeking warmth from him, “Battery’s full now.”

“But I’m not full yet.” Phii Joe leaned down to whisper in my ear, then lifted me up and placed me on the bed.

“Ouch.” I made a sound in my throat when the other suddenly kissed me quickly, trying to catch my breath and kiss back, “N…No, it’s still early.”

“Can’t I hug you in the morning?” “Y…Yes, we can hug. Just hugging.”

“Hmm, what did you think I was going to do?”

“…”

“So vulgar.”

“Not at all, it’s just you…” I protested a bit. It’s because he’s like that. How could I not think that, and then he carried me to the bed.

“Phii…why?”

“Um…I, like…uh.” I fell silent when he kissed me again. This time, the touch was gentler than before, slow and lingering.

“And is it okay? If not in the morning.”

“…Yes.”

Phii Joe smiled slightly, kissed my hand, then pulled me into a hug. Last night we stayed up late looking at the stars and had to wake up early to catch the boat. Being hugged like this by Phii Joe, the comforting scent of the person holding me made me drift off to sleep easily. By the time I woke up again, it was night. Phii Joe was the one who woke me.

“What time is it?”

“Ten o’clock.”

“What about the Northern Lights?”

“Shall we go see them?”

“Yes.” I agreed immediately without thinking much. It was almost time for the Northern Lights to appear as the accommodation owner had predicted. We had rented a car since we arrived for this exact purpose, to find a good spot to watch the Northern Lights. Initially, I was still groggy when I woke up, but as soon as I got in the car, I was wide awake.

We were at a spot slightly away from the village, facing a lake. Being away from the village made this area quite dark and deserted, just the two of us in the cold. I set up the camera to capture the Northern Lights, and after setting it up, I sat down to wait.

“I’m so excited, do you think they’ll come?”

“Uh, it should be here.”

“Yeah, the owner already said so, and I checked the weather, it’s clear, there’s a chance to see the northern lights.” I said excitedly, then leaned my face against the arm of the person next to me and reached for his hand.

We waited nearly half an hour and still no northern lights.

“Hmm. Nothing yet.”

“It’ll come soon.”

“We have to be patient.” I told myself; for something like this, patience is key. Besides, sitting here with Phii Joe isn’t bad at all, it’s even enjoyable, sitting together, holding hands, and waiting.

“It’s here, it’s here!”

I couldn’t help but shout out loudly with joy. It’s good that no one else was around here; it was the northern lights, just as I had seen in photos, moving like in its name, Aurora-dancing. It was a light of faint white and green on the completely dark sky, which gradually became more vivid.

I felt as if I were in a trance; its beauty almost pulled my heart out.

Beautiful…

So beautiful.

The northern lights stayed like that for almost five minutes until I came back to my senses and rushed to check the camera to see if it was recording, and found it was still filming, and the lights hadn’t disappeared yet.

“Take pictures, pictures!” I said excitedly and took photos of us together with the northern lights in the background. I was so excited my heart was pounding, and I didn’t know what to do anymore. It was truly beautiful.

It’s fitting to be the dream of many people, something you must see with your own eyes at least once in your life.

“It’s so beautiful, those who live here must see this almost every day.”

“Right.”

“Wow, I’m so jealous.” I said, my gaze still fixed on the green light above. It stayed for a long time, so we sat back down to watch and enjoy the atmosphere.

“My hand is red.” I said, showing it to Phii Joe. Before, I had gloves on, but because I wanted to take pictures, it was awkward with gloves on, so I quickly took them off and forgot to put them back on.

“Put on the gloves.”

“Yes.” I agreed readily and put on the gloves immediately, “Thank you again for bringing me here, it must have been a lot of trouble for you, especially with all the expenses.” I said, feeling quite guilty at first about how much it must have cost.

But Phii Joe still said he would bring me.

“It’s fine.”

“…”

“It’s worth it for me.”

“Ah…”

“North…just seeing you happy, anything is worth it.”

“And what about you, Phii, are you having fun?”

“Of course, I am.”

“That’s great, I am glad that you like it.”

“It’s because the guide is good.” Phii Joe said, reaching out to gently pinch my cheek.

“Make sure to hire this guide again next time.” I said, giving a broad smile that was just for Phii Joe. I had never smiled this often or with such happiness before. “Can I hire this guide to travel with me for life?”

“Sure, but…”

“Hmm?”

“There’s a fee, you know.”

“How much?”

I touched one of my cheeks with my finger. Phii Joe gave a small smile at my action before leaning in close and kissing my cheek.

“Thank you for the fee, and from now on, I’ll ask for a fee once per trip.”

Phii Joe didn’t say anything back, just looked at me with an affectionate gaze and reached out to gently stroke my head.

We chatted about various things that had happened, all while the Northern Lights were still in view. I looked at the person sitting next to me, my heart filled with nothing but love and gratitude.

“In the future, I will take you on trips.”

“You’re already taking me on a trip now.”

“No, I mean, saving up money by myself, to take you traveling.” I said, feeling a bit shy, but one day I will definitely do that. “Is there any place you particularly want to go?”

“As long as there’s you. I’ll go anywhere, North.”

“Really, Phii?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I feel the same.”

“Hmm.”

“With you, Phii. I will go anywhere.”

I let out a small laugh at my own words before my chin was gently turned towards him and his warm lips softly touched mine. I was slightly startled before closing my eyes and accepting those touches, our hands clasped together. Soon, he withdrew his lips, and our foreheads gently touched.

“Anywhere?”

“Yes.” I smiled in agreement, “North wants to sit and watch the stars with you again, stand and watch sunset together, no matter where in the world, I want to see those sights with you again.”

“Let’s go to all those places together again.”

“Yes, let’s go together.”

Go together…

   Even if the sky, the stars, sun, or the moon changes,

   The person watching together

   Will still be the same…always.

  

Special Chapter: Moonlight, wine, and you

   “Have fun, see you soon.” I said into the phone. We talked for a bit before Ter hung up. Currently, Ter is traveling in Japan with Phii Hill. Japan is about two hours ahead of Thailand, so it’s already my birthday there.

My birthday…

Honestly, I don’t place much importance on my birthday. I’m not sure why, I remember it, but I don’t really care. As I grew up, birthdays stopped being as exciting as they were when I was a kid. I’ve told my family to stop organizing birthday parties since my second year of middle school because I thought it wasn’t necessary, plus it was wasteful.

Now, it’s past 8 PM after our trip to Norway with Phii Joe. For the rest of the break, I had to go back home, while Phii Joe had to stay at his condo because of work. Phii Prang mentioned he hasn’t been sleeping much for days. Again…it’s like this again. He’s so focused on his work that he forgets about himself.

That’s why someone here is always thinking about him.

I still worry about him like always…

We last talked in the afternoon. Phii Joe didn’t seem okay. I wonder how he is now. It seems like he’s quite concerned about my birthday, probably feeling bad that he can’t be free, but I’ve assured him it’s really not a big deal to me.

Yet, Phii Joe is still rushing to finish his work to make it in time for my birthday, barely taking any breaks. He’s doing it for me again…

I want him to know it’s not a big deal. If it means he has to exhaust himself like this, it’s not worth it for me. I want him to realize that he is the most important thing.

But no matter how much I tell him, he doesn’t listen.

Stubborn…

He always says I’m stubborn, but he’s the one who’s really stubborn.

I sat there, staring at my phone screen, waiting for a notification from someone. It’s past 8 PM and he still hasn’t gone back to his room, or maybe the work isn’t going smoothly, or something else went wrong. He mentioned someone at work made a mistake, which according to Phii Joe’s schedule, the work should have been finished before my birthday, but because of that mistake, it’s delayed, and it won’t be ready in time for my birthday. Phii Prang told me that the person who made the mistake got scolded by Phii Joe, and now they’re scared of him.

I understand, if it were me, I’d be scared too, T^T

I took a large jacket that was lying next to the bed and wrapped myself in it. It’s Phii Joe’s jacket that I secretly brought home with me. If he’s not here to hug me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Even though it might seem a bit like I’m a psychopath, at least when I cover myself with it at night, I can faintly smell him, and it helps me sleep.

Nevertheless, I didn’t go to sleep and chose to wait instead. Time passed until it was well past midnight, I kept playing games on my phone until suddenly, a call came through with the name I had been waiting for all these hours. I opened my eyes wide with joy and quickly answered the call.

“Phii…is the work done?” I asked.

(Um, are you asleep yet?)

   “Not yet.”

(Don’t tell me you’re waiting.)

   “Yeah. I won’t say it then.”

(Tell me to sleep first.)

   “I don’t want to.”

(Stubborn.)

   “It’s you who’s stubborn.” I began to argue, but this kind of argument made me unable to hide my smile. It had only been a few hours, but why did I miss this voice so much? “Have you reached your room yet?”

(Not yet, I just left the company.)

   “Finished just now?”

(Um) and then I heard a sound like a car unlocking with a remote. (Happy birthday, by the way.)

   “Thanks.”

(Was I the first to tell you?)

   “Well, actually, Ter called to tell me before, but let’s not count that because you were the first after midnight.” I said happily. Ter’s call was more like an early birthday wish.

(Should I wish you well?)

   “Ha ha, it’s okay. I guess you’re not that good at giving blessings.”

(Sorry I couldn’t be there with you.)

   “It’s okay, you’re here now, aren’t you?”

(On the phone, you mean?)

   “Yeah. That’s enough. Just hearing your voice is enough for me.” I said, accidentally smiling to myself.

“Phii…” I called out again.

(What?)

   “No, it’s not.”

(What’s wrong?)

   “Oh, I just miss you so much.” I said softly, unknowingly letting out a slight smile, my heart beginning to beat a bit faster thinking about the person at the other end of the line.

“Don’t drive too fast, okay? Even if there aren’t many cars on the road.” I said when I heard the sound of the car starting. I often tell Phii Joe this, but I know he already knows. I just want to remind him.

(I know.)

   “Can we talk while you drive?”

(Why would I call if we couldn’t?) I chuckled slightly when I heard that, guessing he had the speakers on because of the echo. Just Phii Joe calling makes me feel this good, huh?

“How’s work going?”

(Hmm, not so great.)

   “Oh…” I fell silent for a moment. I could sense from the first sentence that Phii Joe sounded tired. “Not going smoothly, huh, the work?”

(Yeah.)

   “Are you okay?” I asked, furrowing my brows with concern.

(Not really.)

   “You can tell me, you know.”

(Hmm.)

   “Can you tell me?”

(What about?)

   “About your day today.”

(There’s nothing to it.)

   “I want to listen, okay? Tell me a bit.” I started to insist until Phii Joe reluctantly shared. I don’t really understand much, I just want to be there to listen, catching the gist that there were mistakes at work again. Phii Joe said he shouldn’t have delegated important tasks to others, he should have handled that part himself from the start.

“So, you have to sit and redo the work again tonight…”

(On your actual birthday, you have to listen to bad news.)

   “No, it’s not bad news if it’s about you, has it gotten any better?”

(Not really.)

   “North doesn’t quite get it, so he can’t really advise or help find a solution, but I want to tell you that North is always there for you.”

(It might not seem special, but I know you aren’t going anywhere) it would be funny if I told him not to stress, which is impossible. Right now, his whole body must be too tired, making him exhausted. I just want to emphasize that I’m still here with you.

“So let’s hug to recharge our batteries.”

(Um, come here.)

   “Oh, sorry for not being there with you too.” (It’s fine. Just hearing your voice is good enough.) “I really want to dive through the phone to find you.” (Are you flirting?)

   “Yeah, I want to flirt.”

(Let me see the face of yours; my flirtatious one) It seems like Phii Joe has returned to his room. I heard the sound of the door unlocking. I can picture Phii Joe throwing his stuff away and collapsing onto the sofa in exhaustion.

It’s an image I often see when waiting for him to come back to the room.

But this time, I wasn’t in the room.

And the call turned into a video chat instead, but only I had my camera on, me in my pajamas, looking sleepy.

“Cheater. You’re not turning on your camera?”

(No)

   “Turn on your camera, please, come on.”

The other side finally turned on the camera. I saw Phii Joe holding the phone with one hand, the other hand pulling off his tie. Even after working hard all day, he still looks…handsome.

“Are you wearing a suit?”

(Yeah. I have a meeting in the morning.)

   “I rarely see you in a suit.”

(I don’t like them, they’re hot.)

   “Hmm.” I nodded in understanding. I’ve seen him in one before. I think he looks really good, Phii Joe with his hair styled, wearing a suit and tie. It might sound like I’m praising my own boyfriend, but he really does look good; it suits him in a different way. “Are you about to work now?” I asked when I saw him move to sit at his desk.

(Yeah.)

   “Coffee?”

(Make some for me.)

   “Ugh.” I pouted slightly, “I miss that time.”

(What time?)

   “The first time we talked, on the phone, when I was watching you work.”

(Oh.)

   “Do I need to be quiet like back then now?”

(No need.)

   “Then why did I have to be quiet back then?” I asked, recalling the first time we talked on the phone; he told me to keep the line open and be quiet. I remember watching him work until I fell asleep on the table.

(Just wasn’t used to your voice yet.)

   “Really?”

(Yeah.)

   “Then North can talk now, right?” I said with a shy smile.

(I never forbade it anymore.)

   “I have a lot of questions he wants to ask.”

(Say it.)

   “Could you tell me how you felt the first time you met me?”

(First time, at the bar?)

   Phii Joe asked back while setting down his phone and picking up some documents to look at. I love watching him when he works. When Phii Joe is focused on something, it’s really captivating to look at.

“Yes.”

(Angry?)

   “Oh…yeah, that’s true, and why did you need to scold me like that, you were really scary, you know.” (Were you scold-worthy?) “Ha ha, well, I was kind of scold-worthy.” (Um, everything you do seems scold-worthy, forgetting everything and making me worry every day.)

   “Ugh… shouldn’t have asked to get scolded like that.” I said, lowering my voice and frowning again. “And by the way, my mom asked about you, saying why don’t you come over during the holidays?”

(I’ll go. After the work is done.)

   “Yay, tell me which day you’re coming, I’ll prepare a good welcome.” I said happily.

(And how was your birthday?)

   “Same as every year. Nothing special, my mom, my aunt, and Night bought me stuff.”

(What did they buy?)

   “Mom bought a watch, my aunt bought shoes, Night bought me some sweets.”

(Don’t you want anything? I haven’t bought you anything yet.)

   “Oh…actually, you’ve already bought me a lot of things, Phii.” I said, thinking about the handmade gift I intended to give Phii Joe but hadn’t yet. I brought it back to work on at home, just finished it myself, I’ll give it to him the next time we meet.

(Don’t you want anything at all?)

   “I want something.”

(What?)

   “Tell me you love me.”

(Just that?)

   “Not just that, come on, tell me you love me.”

(Phii love you, North.)

   “Yes, North loves you too, Phii.” I said with a wide smile. I didn’t want any special gifts from Phii Joe. He’s given me plenty already. (If you were nearby, I wouldn’t have been able to resist.) “What?” (Nothing.) “Oh, what?”

(It’s cute, just be less cute sometimes.)

   “…”

“You like to threaten me.”

(Have I only ever threatened?)

   “See, you’re good at teasing.” I pouted and looked away for a moment. I kept watching Phii Joe work, chatting about various things, starting to notice that Phii Joe was getting more focused on his work. So, I didn’t dare to interrupt further and just watched quietly.

Oh, his eyebrows are furrowing…

(Why so quiet?)

   “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

(Not sleepy?)

   “I’m getting sleepy now.”

(You can sleep first, you know.)

   “Back then, you used to make me stay up with you.” I mumbled.

(Do you like being forced?)

   “No, but I like staying with you.”

Phii Joe didn’t reply. He just gave a small smile at my words.

“Have you eaten anything yet, this evening? No, I mean, today?”

(Oh…I ate this morning.)

   “What about lunch?” (Coffee.) “You’re being stubborn again, I told you to eat.” (Forgot.) “How could you forget?” (Normally, I eat with you, North.) “Ugh.” I pouted, feeling annoyed. Usually, Phii Joe doesn’t eat much. If he’s too busy with work, but if I’m around, he’ll come eat with me, or he’ll always have food ready in the room. If he buys food, I make sure we eat together, “Take care of yourself a bit.”

The other side didn’t respond, just turned to look this way.

“Take care of yourself for the sake of the person here who’s worrying to death, Phii.”

(Understood. No need to make that pouting face.)

   I let out a small sigh, and couldn’t stay annoyed because of that smile, “I really want to be there with you.”

(Hmm.)

   “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, you’ve truly been working hard lately.”

(It’s okay, I’ve seen your face now.)

   “But meeting in person would be better, right?”

(Stop being so clingy, do you want me to abandon my work or what?)

   “No. I don’t want you to abandon your work at all.”

(Then don’t cling so much. If you don’t want me to leave my work to come find you.)

   And we kept chatting. I mentioned being hungry. I tend to get hungry late at night, a habit I picked up from living with Phii Joe. Whenever I was hungry, there was always something to eat, the fridge stocked full. But back home, I don’t eat much, my mom doesn’t like keeping lots of snacks around because she often forgets about them, leaving them in the fridge.

“I’m so sleepy.” (You can sleep, I’ll stay up.) “I should be the one staying up. You’re the one working.” (Go on.) “You’re stubborn, just like you always are.”

(Always good at arguing, aren’t you?)

   “Haha, like you said, I never change.” I said with a cheerful smile.

I was so caught up chatting with Phii Joe that I completely forgot it was my birthday, too worried about whether he got any rest. After a while, due to how sleepy I was, the familiar deep voice and the faint scent from Phii Joe’s shirt that I had sneakily draped over myself without him noticing because I was scared he’d catch me stealing his shirt…

I don’t know when I fell asleep…

I jolted awake, rubbing my eyes slightly. When did I fall asleep? The room light was still on.

Half past three?

What about Phii Joe?

He must have hung up…

I quickly checked the chat to see if he had left any message, but there was nothing. He probably hung up because he went to sleep. If he’s asleep, I shouldn’t disturb him, even though I promised to watch him work but ended up falling asleep first. Sigh, North, North.

Feeling hungry, I went down to the kitchen to get something to eat, but there was nothing there as usual, so I reluctantly went back upstairs. Since I was just awake, I couldn’t fall back asleep and just played on my phone. I saw the latest post on Instagram from Ter.

Ter and Phii Hill had posted pictures of their trip to Japan.

How nice, they get to be together. It’s true I never sulk or feel jealous, not even a little. Phii Joe is already swamped with work. But if it were possible…just for five minutes, I’d really like to be together on my birthday like this.

Missing him always makes me feel weaker…

If I could ask for a birthday wish this year…

Could I ask for a hug from you?

I was startled by the sudden ring of my phone; after zoning out for a while, the screen showed that Phii Joe was calling.

“It’s past four in the morning already…?”

I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise while looking at the screen and quickly accepted the call.

“Yes, haven’t you gone to sleep yet?”

(Not yet, are you still awake?)

   “Yes, I woke up suddenly, I guess because I’m hungry.” I said playfully, laughing a bit at the other end of the line, “And what about the work?”

(It’s done.)

   “Really? That was quick, didn’t you say there was a lot of work?”

(Well, it’s done now.)

   “You’re amazing, you’re the best, really.”

(Are you hungry?)

   “Yeah, I’m hungry, the fridge is pretty empty.”

(And are you going to sleep now?)

   “I’m about to sleep.”

(Really?)

   “Yes, I’m lying on the bed.” I said. I was indeed lounging on the bed.

(I don’t see the lights off in your room.)

   “Phii…how did you know?” (Open your window.)

   I jumped out of bed in shock upon hearing those words, quickly rushing to open the curtains.

Phii Joe…

I saw Phii Joe leaning against his fancy Audi, one hand holding the phone to his ear because he was talking to me, looking up to meet my eyes.

His other hand was holding

a bouquet of flowers…

(Come down here for a bit.)

   “…”

(I brought a late-night meal, special service just for my one and only.)

   “…”

I rushed down to meet Phii Joe so quickly I was scolded for almost falling. The night air was quite chilly since it was very late. The surroundings were quiet and dimly lit, and in front of me was a man giving me an enchanting smile.

With a large bouquet of flowers…

“Happy Birthday.”

“Phii…”

I accepted the bouquet without hesitation, then immediately threw myself into his embrace, lifted off the ground by his strong arms. I tightened my grip to hold him even closer.

“Thank you, thank you.”

“You’re being so clingy, aren’t you the one who said it’s okay?”

“Yeah. It’s okay.” I said softly, pouting as he slowly set me down, “It’s okay if we don’t meet, but it’s much better when we do.” “Better than seeing me through the phone?” “Much, much better.” I smiled broadly, hugging him again, this time in a long, tight embrace to express all the longing I felt. I looked up at Phii Joe from up close, his familiar handsome face tinged with fatigue but still smiling at me.

I stood on my tiptoes to lightly touch my lips to his.

My action made him smile even wider before he reached to pull me closer by the back of my neck, kissing me again, letting our breaths mingle for a while before slowly pulling away.

Since it was still early and my mom wouldn’t mind if Phii Joe visited, I opened the gate for him to drive in, brought him inside the house, and turned on the kitchen light for better visibility.

“Thank you, you bought a lot.” I thanked him again, placing the McDonald’s bag he brought on the kitchen table, “Is this for two people?”

“We’ll eat, you’re not eating?”

“No, we have to eat together.”

“Forcing me?”

“Yes, I am forcing you, can I force you?”

“You can. You’re my boyfriend after all.” Phii Joe said with a slight smile before sitting at the dining table.

“Ha ha, let’s consider it a special privilege of being your boyfriend.” I replied shyly, unpacking the food from the bag and arranging it on plates. “The flowers are beautiful, thank you again.”

“Um, consider it a small birthday gift.”

“Thank you.” I beamed, looking at the bouquet in my hand, from Phii Joe. I should put these in a nice vase. I arranged them into a vase, but it was one from the living room, maybe I’ll sneak it into my bedroom later.

After we finished eating, we went back to my room. Missing him made me dive into another hug, sitting on the bed as we often did when together. I leaned back against him out of habit, and Phii Joe wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer, nuzzling his nose against my neck and then up to my ear.

“Hey, that tickles.” I whispered, trying to dodge slightly, but he held me firm. “You must be exhausted after working so hard, and you still came to see me without resting.”

“I’m not tired anymore.” Phii Joe said while gently stroking my hair.

“Really not tired?”

“Really.”

I didn’t reply, just turned to kiss his cheek where I was leaning against him. We sat there for a while, and then rain started to fall outside.

“It’s raining out of nowhere.” I remarked, looking out the window. “Good thing it didn’t rain when you were driving here.”

“What if it did?”

“If I knew you drove through the rain to get here, I would definitely get a migraine.”

“Worried?”

“Extremely.”

He didn’t respond, just gave a small smile at the corner of his mouth, then pressed his lips firmly against my cheek as if to nibble.

“You’re such a stubborn person, you know that?” His deep voice whispered near my ear. No matter how many times, I was never used to this, making me startle slightly.

“Haha, I didn’t even realize.” I replied.

“And this…?” I turned to look when the conversation paused, seeing Phii Joe holding up the shirt I had secretly taken. Oh no…I didn’t hide it in time. “Uh…” I fell silent, my demeanor obviously suspicious while my mind was racing to come up with an excuse, “It must have gotten mixed up. I didn’t mean to take it.”

“This shirt should be in the closet.” Phii Joe said with a sly tone, “Or am I mistaken?”

“Oh…yeah, I…borrowed it.” I said the last part in a whisper, almost inaudible. I don’t know why I’m so bad at lying.

“Why?” He asked while still leaning down, his face close, his breath tickling my neck, making me frown and tense my shoulders.

“I…I…couldn’t sleep.”

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“Yeah, it’s a habit, you know. If you’re not there to hug me to sleep, I can’t sleep well. You know that.” I said, blushing, starting to bury my face in the blanket, “At least there was…uh, your scent.”

“Scent?”

“…Yeah, huh…don’t tease, okay? Don’t tease at all, I’ll really sulk.”

“Okay. Won’t tease.”

“Mhm.”

“So, this shirt isn’t needed tonight then.”

I nodded to show I understood the implication of what was said, and then we turned off the lights to sleep because Phii Joe was already very tired.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

I offered my lips for a goodnight kiss like we do every night, and it wasn’t long before the person holding me drifted off to sleep due to accumulated exhaustion. I wasn’t that sleepy, so I turned to face him and just watched his sleeping face.

   I reached out to gently stroke his cheek, just this simple act somehow giving me a profound sense of comfort.

   At least today we got to be together.

   I hope tomorrow is a good day for you.

   Sleep well. I don’t want you to have nightmares.

   “I love you so much, you know that?”

I whispered softly while my gaze remained fixed on the person in front of me, snuggling into the familiar warm embrace. I didn’t need much more than this to be very happy.

I slowly woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, even though it was ringing so loudly, yet the person holding me showed no signs of waking up, which is always the case when he’s tired.

But…

“Where are you going?”

If I tried to get up, Phii Joe would wake up immediately.

   “To make breakfast, then we’ll go do some merit.”

“Make merit?”

“Yes, it’s my birthday, do you want to come along?”

“Um.”

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 32 part 2

“Thank you for being everything.”

“Oh…It’s nothing, North is happy to be there for you.” I smiled shyly, but since I had my back to Phii Joe, he didn’t see it, which was probably for the best. My face must have been very red by now. “Thank you too Phii, you’re everything to me as well.”

“Were you looking at me?”

“…No, not at all.”

“Why? Are you blushing?”

“Not at all, I am just cooking.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, there’s even a fireplace.” I explored around the house, which I didn’t pay much attention to at first because I was eager to go outside. This was my first time seeing an actual fireplace, I’ve only seen them in movies, “Let’s light it up.” “We’ll light it after you take a shower.” “Yay, sure, I’ll go shower then.” I came out to sit on the sofa in front of the fireplace with Phii Joe after we both had showered, and it was really warm once the fire was lit. I leaned towards him and hugged.

I really like this…

“Even after just a few hours, I already love it here. Should we move here?” I said jokingly.

“Hmm, want to live here?”

“Just kidding, but if it were possible, it would be nice.”

“Let’s visit more places before deciding.”

“Is that okay? Like, moving abroad?”

“Sure, it’s up to you anyway.” Phii Joe said, pulling me into a tighter hug and pressing his nose against my cheek. I still felt shy whenever he did things like this; I guess I’ll never get used to it.

“Phii, you spoil me too much.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all. It’s just that no one has ever spoiled me as much as you do.” I said, before turning to kiss his cheek back, “What if I change and become spoiled?”

“It’s okay.”

“How do you know?”

“North, you haven’t changed at all. From the first time I met you, did you realize that?”

“Is it really true?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And is it good?”

“It’s great, being with you, it’s the best.” “…” I fell silent for a moment because of the words I heard, letting the sound of my heartbeat rise louder instead. I like it when he says that being me is great; it makes me realize that being here is the best.

This is where I belong…

“Being with you is good for me too.” I said in return, “You know, why haven’t you ever asked why I like you?”

“Hmm, so why is that?”

“Because you’re kind.”

“Just that?”

“It’s not just that at all. You’re very kind to me. Even though when we first met, I puked all over you and caused a mess.”

“I was angry back then.”

“Yes, as I am, I was angry too.” I said while pouting, thinking back on it was really embarrassing, North, oh, I completely ruined Phii Joe’s shirt, T^T, “And then at the bar. If it wasn’t for you…I might have…”

“Don’t talk about it.”

“Why?”

“It’s irritating.”

“Huh.” I slightly frowned, “But did you know from the beginning that North was lying about going to work?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And why didn’t you say anything from the start?”

“I saw that you wanted to do it, didn’t I?”

“Oh…” I fell silent, reflecting back. He didn’t want me to work there, but since I wanted to, he didn’t say anything. Just had someone watch over me like this, huh?

“Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there to support you…”

The words Phii Joe had once told me popped up in my head. “Now that North thinks about it…” “What?” “How great it is that you were at the game shop that day, and North was there too. Even if it wasn’t great for you at first, North is still happy that you waited.”

“I told you, it’s just that I couldn’t go anywhere, that’s all.”

“Exactly, if you can’t go anywhere, then there’s no need to go anywhere, just stay with me forever.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere even if you didn’t say so.” Phii Joe said, resting his chin on my shoulder, “And neither would you, North.”

“What?”

“I’m not that kind-hearted to let you go anywhere.”

“…”

“It might be a bit selfish, but if you wanted to leave, I definitely wouldn’t be kind then.”

“…”

“Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all.” I replied, “That day will never come, so you’ll always be kind to North, because North is a good kid.”

“Really?”

“Yes, North is only a good kid for Phii Joe alone.”

The other didn’t say anything more. Just gently lifted my chin, then pressed his lips to mine, a warm touch invading, and I responded to every touch. His hot tongue explored everywhere as if to claim everything, the rhythm, the familiar taste of the kiss, the warm breath, and my heart beating faster, his thick hand started to wander, caressing under my shirt.

“Be a good kid for me tonight too.” The deep voice whispering in my ear made my heart beat even harder before I buried my face into the chest of the person in front of me.

“Uh, North is a good kid, so be gentle with North.”

“Khrap.”

…

It’s five in the morning…

   I glanced outside while my hands were busy making coffee. Phii Joe wasn’t awake yet, but he’d probably get up soon. Thinking back to last night, my heart…

Oh…when Phii Joe was gentle like that with me, it…

I absentmindedly touched the red mark on my neck that still stung a bit as evidence of what happened yesterday. We’ve been dating for a month now. There hasn’t been more than two days in a row without us doing it.

Phii Joe once said that my body would get more used to it over time, and it’s true. After waking up in the morning, I’m no longer in too much pain or discomfort to get up. Except when he’s rough with me, which usually happens on days I don’t need to go outside, and I end up staying in bed almost all day.

Getting used to that kind of thing is probably impossible. Every time I look at him, my heart flutters like crazy because of him. Recently, Phii Joe has been getting even more fit, his muscles and six-pack becoming more defined because he’s had more time for exercise.

There are plenty of embarrassing things, I guess.

Ter is the same. I’ve noticed the red marks on his neck often.

Why do these doctors…

Oh, damn.

“You can wake up now.” I placed the coffee cup on the bedside table and went to wake the still-sleeping person, “Let’s go hiking.”

“Uh-huh.” “Phii Joe.” “A morning kiss.” I couldn’t help but smile at his words. Is this what they call being sweet? This word might not fit him well, but it’s still cute. I leaned down to give him a soft kiss.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” Phii Joe said as he slowly opened his eyes.

“Go wash your face. North has made coffee. We’ll go hiking soon.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. There won’t be many people, we might see the sunrise, the view will be beautiful, and after we come down, we’ll check out from the cottage and go sightseeing elsewhere.”

“You planned this out really well, guide.”

“Of course.”

We walked up the mountain path, or rather, the cliff path, as it was the highest cliff in Norway, a very popular tourist spot. Initially, the path was easy, but as we continued, it started to get rockier.

“Ah!” I exclaimed in surprise when I suddenly stumbled. Luckily, Phii Joe caught me in time, “Thank you.”

“Want to take a break?”

“A break sounds good.” I said, before we took a rest on the path. My legs were so tired, it was killing me.

“I told you to exercise more, but you wouldn’t listen.” Phii Joe complained. He often nagged me about my lack of exercise because I’m quite lazy when it comes to working out, so he forced me to go running with him every morning. Lately, I’ve been getting more and more reluctant to get up, but I still go because I’m forced to. “I do run.”

“More like you go for a stroll.”

“Not at all, you run too fast, you don’t wait for me.”

“I did wait. You just didn’t want to run.”

“Hmph.” I said sulkily because he does run fast. I can’t keep up, “I’m tired though.”

“Guess you couldn’t keep up last night either.”

“Phii!” I protested a bit, glad there was no one else around to hear. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle it, it was that he went overboard. Almost an hour, seriously! “That was enough already.”

“Next time, I won’t let you fall asleep first then.”

“Phii Joe!” I lightly hit his arm in annoyance. I always pass out first, “You’re so mean.”

“Didn’t you say I’m kind-hearted?”

“Except for this.”

“But you weren’t hurt yesterday, right?” Phii Joe said, lifting his hand to gently pat my head. I immediately made a pouting face.

“Let’s change the subject, please.” I said, feeling embarrassed, before lifting my camera to take a picture of the person sitting next to me. Why does he look so good on camera? No matter the angle, he looks great. Even if the photos aren’t beautiful, a good-looking model is more than enough.

I’m really good at praising, aren’t I…

Along the way, we took in the atmosphere. The path wasn’t too hard to walk because there were well-laid stones. Midway, there was a flat path with a bridge, surrounded by fields. Since it wasn’t fully bright yet, the scenery was breathtaking for me. As we reached the end of our climb, we could see the view below, and it was quite high. I didn’t dare to look much because I started to feel scared of heights.

“Are you okay?” Phii Joe asked.

“I’m fine.”

When we got to the part where we had to climb up, I almost entirely relied on Phii Joe to pull me up by the hand. If I were here alone, there’s no way I would have made it, and when we finally reached our destination,

it was so beautiful I could hardly breathe…

A gentle breeze blew in. We stood at an elevation of over six hundred meters above the water level. Looking ahead, you could see a long chain of mountains against an orange sky because the sun was about to rise. Below was a wide river separating this cliff from the mountain range.

“Come over here.” Phii Joe said. I took my eyes off the view in front of me and looked at him.

“No, not there, it’s too close.” I said fearfully. That spot was too close to the cliff’s edge. I was scared of falling.

“It’s okay.”

“…”

“I’m here.”

“Okay.” I carefully moved closer and sat down next to Phii Joe. It wasn’t as scary as I had thought. We sat together, watching the sky slowly change colors.

“Let’s take a photo.” I said, lifting the camera to take a picture of us together. After thoroughly enjoying the view, other people started to come up. So, I asked someone else to take a photo of us.

“Thank you.” I thanked the person who took our photo. He smiled back and walked away. “You’re quite good.” Phii Joe remarked, probably referring to when I spoke English to ask for the photo.

“Do you mean my English?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I like speaking English. Otherwise, how would I have gotten the scholarship to go to America?”

“Very good.” The other complimented. I smiled shyly, acknowledging that I’m not as proficient as Phii Joe, who could score 900 on the TOEIC, but I’m okay. Among all the subjects I studied, I liked English the best. “If you like it, why don’t you study language?”

“I also like engineering. Language can help with work. Or I can think about it again in the future.”

“…”

“Also, I want to work with you, to be an engineer for your company.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, please consider this engineer.”

“Already passed.”

“What?”

“You’ve already captured my heart completely, my dear engineer.”

“…”

I pressed my lips together, trying to hide my embarrassment, feeling my face heat up again even though it’s so cold outside.

“Then this doctor has also completely captured the heart of this engineer.”

We headed back down. I waited for a signal for a moment before posting our couple’s photo on Instagram, with the view of the cliff behind us, captioning it, “The doctor’s engineer, :)”

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 32 part 1

   Chapter 32: Yours

   “…”

“Phii Joe.”

“Hmm?”

“Are you listening to me?”

“I am.” He said, lifting his hand to touch my chin, his eyes still fixed on me, a small smile at the corner of his lips when he saw me pout.

“What are you listening to, when all you do is stare at North?”

“Keep talking.”

“Well…It’s the end of the cold season there. They say if the sky is clear, there’s a chance to see the northern lights. It’s all about luck because the northern lights don’t appear every day.”

“Ah, okay.”

“And about the places to visit. They say Tromsø is one of the best spots for seeing the northern lights, but there are other cities where you can see them too. What do you think, Phii?” “It’s up to you North.” “See, it’s all up to me then. I have never been there.” I said, pouting at him again, “You’re making me research everything alone. What if we go and it’s not fun, what then?”

The trip to Norway to see the northern lights, as we had talked about doing during the semester break, which is now upon us. Phii Joe told me to choose where we want to go, stating that he had no issues with costs or the time we’d spend there. However, planning the trip all by myself is a bit daunting, especially since I’ve never traveled abroad.

“Going with you, how could it not be fun?”

“Phii, and don’t complain about me, okay?”

“I won’t complain.”

“Would you like to go hiking?” I asked when I remembered, having seen a review about hiking with beautiful views.

“Think you can handle it? If you can, then let’s go.”

“I think I can…maybe? The pictures I saw didn’t look too hard.” I said a bit hesitantly, then took out my phone to show the pictures to Phii Joe, “Here, it’s just a walking path.” He looked at my phone screen.

“Hmm. Looks good.”

“Then let’s go hiking. We should go early, the view will be beautiful, and there won’t be many people around.” I said excitedly, “The view is really beautiful, I want to go.”

“Then we’ll go soon.” He said, reaching over to affectionately ruffle my hair.

Then I started telling him about the interesting things I had read in the reviews, but Phii Joe…

“Phii…can you not stare at me like that?” I said, avoiding his gaze. No matter what, I couldn’t match his look, seriously. “Just looking at my boyfriend, is that not allowed?” “…It’s allowed, but don’t stare too much, please.”

“Why?”

“Why do you need to look so much? North’s face is the same every day.”

“Cute.”

“…”

“North is cute, especially when he’s talking about things he likes.”

“Uh…okay.” I ducked my head in embarrassment. I didn’t understand how he could still flirt so well even after we started dating; it felt like he was still courting me, which started to make me nervous.

“Aren’t you going to continue?”

“Well…I also saw that they drove around there. The view is gorgeous, especially when it snows. If it’s not snowing too heavily one day, can we rent a car and drive around?”

“Sure.”

“Can you drive for me?”

“Yes.”

“Yay!”

“Ah…there’s a gift for you; the hardworking one.” Phii Joe said. I tilted my head, looking at him with a bit of confusion.

“What is it?”

“It’s on the table in front of the sofa.”

I quickly got up to check the table in the living room, as I was just lounging in the bedroom and didn’t know what Phii Joe had bought. He had gone out early in the morning for errands and had only just returned.

My eyes widened with joy when I saw what was on the table.

“Do you like it?” “Yeah, I love it, thank you, thank you so much.” I said excitedly, picking up the large box.

A PS4, something I’ve wanted my whole life, wow, T^T.

   “But North’s grades didn’t meet the mark we agreed on.” I asked, suddenly remembering. I had agreed with Phii Joe that I needed a 3.5 GPA to get a PS4 as a reward, but this semester I only got a 3.27. So, I had given up on the idea of getting it.

“It’s okay. You did well.”

“But…”

“What was your GPA last semester?”

“2.7.” I answered.

“You improved a lot, so consider it a reward for your effort.”

“Oh, uh, thank you.”

“As long as you like it, that’s good.”

“Phii Joe, you are so kind.” I said with a smile, hugging the box.

“Can I ask for something in return for me going out in the sun to buy it.” Phii Joe said. I looked puzzled for a moment, then slightly bit my lip in embarrassment, put down the large box, and hugged him.

“Thank you, North loves Phii Joe the most.” I said, grinning widely, and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Phii Joe gave a slight smile and glanced at me.

“Over ten thousand baht, I’d say it’s worth it.”

“…”

“Hmm.”

I pouted a little shyly upon hearing those words, what does he mean by it’s worth it…I snuggled into Phii Joe’s hug for a bit and then pulled away, “Can North open it?”

   While I was unwrapping the PS4 box, my eyes caught another box on the table.

   A camera?

   “Did you buy a new camera?” I turned to ask the person sitting next to me.

“Didn’t you say you wanted one?”

“Well…yes, but I was going to borrow Phoon’s camera.” I remembered mentioning how I wanted a camera to take lots of beautiful photos, but since I don’t own one, I planned to borrow Phoon’s. He even agreed to lend it to me. I didn’t expect Phii Joe to buy one first, especially one that looks quite expensive, “I feel bad accepting this.”

“It’s fine, you were going to use one anyway.”

“Thank you so much, on this trip I will be your photographer.” I said happily. Even though I might not take photos as beautifully as Ter or Phoon, I’ll try my best to capture the best memories for us.

♣♣♣

“Phii Joe.”

“Hmm?”

“I am excited.”

“I can see that.” He responded, reaching over to pat my head and looking at me with affection. Right now, we were at the airport, about to head to Norway.

Norway, huh…

The Northern Lights…

And snow…

Oh my gosh, so exciting, it’s my first time traveling abroad, my first time on a plane. I’m really excited, couldn’t sleep last night, woke up at three in the morning even though our flight isn’t until nearly ten, and I’m not even a bit sleepy, I’m super enthusiastic.

As I’ve said before, my heart has been in Norway since the final exams. “Ugh, Phii, North’s heart is about to burst.” I said excitedly as we waited to board, clutching the tickets tightly, “Can I sit by the window? I want to see the view.”

“Sure we can.”

“Yay!”

I sat by the window seat, super excited. I wonder what it’ll feel like when the plane takes off. According to the website, we’ll arrive in the evening, we’ve already booked accommodation, and we’ll start exploring tomorrow.

“Do you travel abroad often, Phii?”

“Often.”

“That’s great, do you get to travel a lot?”

“Quite a bit.”

“Which place do you think is the prettiest you’ve visited?”

“You.”

Phii Joe said, looking at me with a slight smile. Just those short words, the look, and the smile. That was enough to make my heart flutter again.

“You’re good at sweet-talking.” I said, turning my face away to hide my blushing cheeks and looking out the window. After a while, it was time for takeoff. I was slightly startled when the plane started to lift off; it was really a new feeling for someone like me on their first flight.

“Normally, on long flights, there’s nothing much to do, right?”

“Correct.”

“Ugh, it’s going to be so boring.” I muttered a bit, still excited by the view below, but as I looked down and realized how high we were, it started to give me the chills, “It’s so high, my legs are shaking.”

“Are you afraid of heights?” “Yes, I am afraid of heights.” I said, though not that scared, knowing we couldn’t fall from the plane made me feel more at ease.

“I am really sleepy.”

“Then sleep.”

“Can I lean on you?”

“Uhm.” With Phii Joe’s permission, I raised the armrest, placed a cloth to use as a pillow, and leaned my head onto Phii Joe’s lap. It smelled so good. No matter what, I really like Phii Joe’s scent; it’s a clean smell that makes me feel comfortable and helps me sleep. Phii Joe covered me with another blanket and reached over to hold me gently.

“Sweet dreams.” I said.

“Sweet dreams.”

♣♣♣

Norway!

Hello, Norway!

But why is it so cold here?

I looked around eagerly despite still shivering from the cold, the jacket helping a bit. This is the end of the winter season as I’ve mentioned before. Even though the website says it’s starting to warm up for locals here, for a Thai person like me used to the heat, it’s still very cold.

We were at the airport. Just seeing so many foreigners made me excited!

“Where to next, guide?” Phii Joe asked in a teasing tone because I boasted that I would be his guide around Norway.

“The bus.”

“The bus?”

“Yes, I checked the website. They said there would be a bus from the airport, ah…just a moment, please.” I quickly pulled out my phone to check. Upon reaching our destination, we went to the accommodation near the mountain we planned to hike tomorrow. We had already booked the place. I love this cool atmosphere, I’ve been clicking photos nonstop since we were on the bus.

“Shall we go for a walk?” I suggested once we had settled our things in the accommodation. It was still quite chilly now.

“Let’s go.”

We went out for a walk, and it was so beautiful that I couldn’t stop looking around; it was the kind of scenery I love, trees, flowers, grass, with paths leading to a lake, surrounded by mountains.

“Norway is really beautiful.” I said while still holding the camera to capture the view, “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You’ve said thank you a hundred times already.”

“I really am thankful, let’s take a photo.” I turned the camera towards Phii Joe who was following me. Phii Joe looked at the camera and gave a small smile.

I’ve noticed since this morning.

Phii Joe dressed up for this trip, styling his hair too. He looks really good.

It’s rare to see him style his hair like that.

Forget about it.

North, oh…I’m completely smitten, lost to the point where I can’t find my way home anymore.

“What are you looking at?”

“…” I gave him a stern look when he caught me staring blankly at him. I replied with the same words he had once said to me, “I’m looking at my boyfriend.”

Phii Joe didn’t say anything. He just gave a slight smirk at what I said.

We walked around, the lake water was chilly, the flowers were so lush and green you’d think it was spring, but it’s almost spring anyway, the end of the cold season. If we come during spring, it would be even more beautiful. We returned to the cottage, a fully equipped standalone house with a double bed room, a kitchen with all the equipment and fresh ingredients ready. But for those who didn’t want to cook, you could buy food from the main house in the center.

“Pasta?” I asked while checking the fridge to see what we could make.

“You can make it now?”

“I’ve practiced.” I said with pride. Last time, Phii Joe said he wanted pasta but I couldn’t make it. So, I went and secretly practiced. “I tell you, it’s super delicious.”

“Let’s have it then.”

“Yes, sir.” and I started cooking while Phii Joe waited at the dining table.

“Now you’re a guide and a chef too.” He teased from behind.

“North will be everything for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Huh?” I raised my eyebrow, surprised by his words.

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 31 part 2

“Why didn’t you tell us if you wanted to go out?” I remained silent, not knowing how to respond, the plan to surprise was ruined, Ter, is there anything we do that the seniors don’t find out about?, T^T

“Why did you have to sneak out?” I heard Phii Hill ask Ter in a calm, yet spinechilling tone. Oh, but the person in front of me right now was just as intimidating. “Uh…”

“Can’t you tell us?” Phii Joe pressed.

“North…” Ter called out to me in a low voice, almost pleading for help. I pressed my lips together, glancing over at him, I can’t help you either, Ter, T^T

…

I looked at the scene in front of me with affection.

I couldn’t get angry.

Even knowing what they came to do, I couldn’t get angry, but I wanted them to know we were worried. Next time, there’s no need for surprises, really, you don’t even have to buy anything for us, Hill and I, just having you guys around is enough.

“Phii Joe, please don’t be mad at me.”

“…”

Here comes the pleading again.

“But I really can’t say why we came.”

“Fine, I don’t want to know then.” I said with a small sigh, since the junior doesn’t want me to know, then I won’t know.

“Sorry, did I make you feel bad?”

“Not at all.” I gently patted the head of the person in front of me, there’s no need to look so downcast.

“But really, there’s nothing bad, it’s not like it’s something bad.”

“Okay, okay.” I said to calm him down. He seemed anxious, almost like he was afraid I’d be angry. He really cares about my feelings, he pays attention to everything, which surprises me because he always seems so laid-back and not too concerned with others’ business.

“Want to head back?” I asked. He turned to look at Ter as if asking for his opinion. Ter shook his head, indicating no strong opinion either way.

“We can go back then.”

We ended up at Phii Joe’s café, the same one where I and Ter used to work parttime. We were only there for a short while when we got kicked out by the café owner, it seemed like our senior medical students had booked the place for a study session.

I had to study too, finals were coming up. I initially planned to study with the group, so I brought my books along.

Once finals were over, there would be a break, and we’d go to Norway as Phii Joe had mentioned. At first, I was worried my mom wouldn’t allow it, but after Phii Joe talked to her, she agreed easily, just telling us to take care of each other.

Right now, my mind was on seeing the northern lights. I was really looking forward to it.

The gift materials are in Phii Joe’s car, hoping he hasn’t noticed what they are yet.

“Here comes the househusband.” Phii Arthit teased as soon as we walked up to the upper floor of the café, reserved for customers with bookings, so it was just us.

Househusband, what?

“North.” I turned as Ter called me, “Phoon is coming.”

“Oh, to study with you?”

“Probably. What time do you think he’ll get here?”

“Has he left yet?”

“He just did.” Ter said. I pulled out my phone to check the time. It was just past five.

“I bet he’ll be here by ten.” I said. Phoon is like a lost cat, how can someone with a GPS in hand still get lost, and confuse left with right. If you’re meeting him somewhere, you have to account for him getting lost. Phoon himself factors in his own tendency to get lost, like if we plan to meet at nine, he’ll leave his dorm at six in the morning, “And what about Foam? Is he coming?”

“Foam said he’d study on his own.”

“That one’s special.”

“Hey, North, can I talk to you about something?” Ter whispered, then pulled me to a corner where we could sit. The doctors were still talking among themselves, “It’s about Phoon.”

“What about him?”

“With Phii Fah.”

“Huh? What about them?”

“I don’t know, I might be imagining it, but it seems like there’s something…you know, between them. At least, that’s what I’ve observed.”

“Yeah, honestly, I’ve noticed it once too.”

“Really? So I’m not imagining it?”

“Yeah, at the café under the faculty.” I said, recalling the time when Phoon hurriedly left and Phii Fah watched him go.

“We might both be imagining it.” I said, “Have you tried asking him?”

“I’m not brave enough to ask.”

“Why not?”

“It’s sad.”

“How so?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

“Phoon’s eyes look sad every time he looks at Phii Fah, it’s too much for my heart.” Ter said, letting out a big sigh, “Not just when looking at Phii Fah, Phoon seems to have something he keeps to himself.”

“Maybe there’s something he can’t tell anyone.” I suggested, “If Phoon doesn’t want to say, we shouldn’t force him to.”

“Yeah, I know, but sometimes you can’t help but worry.” “And why do you look so sad now?” I said, flicking Ter’s forehead lightly. Ter immediately made a face at me, “You can worry. You can be there for Phoon, but you shouldn’t let it consume you. Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling down too. Just be in a place where both you and Phoon feel comfortable, understand?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Just make sure Phoon knows you’re there for him, that’s enough.”

“If you’re sad too, how can Phoon be happy?”

“North…” Ter called my name softly before leaning his head on my shoulder, “Thanks.”

“Why thank me?”

“For everything, really. Having you around makes everything easier for me. Ever since you’ve been advising me about Phii Hill. It’s not just Phii Joe who feels better with you around, but I do too. Phoon, Foam, Dao, or even Nao, Kyu, Kett, you truly are everyone’s positive energy.”

“That’s embarrassing, you ass” I said, turning my face away to hide my blushing.

“Everyone should have their own North.”

“Oh, you’re really laying it on thick.” I said with a chuckle, playfully pushing Ter’s head, “Is this your life’s mission now, to praise me?”

“Got to thank the Dormitory Auntie too, for randomly assigning us to the same room. If I hadn’t met you, things would have been much worse for me.”

“Enough, Ter, I’m going to float away.”

“Are you embarrassed?” Ter teased, gently pinching my cheek, “North.”

“Huh?”

“Do you know, Daotok really likes you?”

“What?” “No, no, like a friend. He asks about you every time you’re not at the club. He says he feels happy when he’s with you. Dao doesn’t have any friends in his department, just us.”

“Really?” I asked, almost not believing it. No friends at all?

“Why? Is he too artsy for science students to understand?”

“You’re just saying that about Dao.” Ter said, lightly hitting my arm, “I don’t know, maybe he finds it hard to open up to others. You know, it took a while for him to even talk to us.”

“Yeah.” I remembered when I first met Daotok, he was normal enough to talk to, but it was clear he was hard to open up. It took a lot of coaxing from Ter to get him to hang out with us, “At first, it was just you and me, then suddenly he’s using ‘mung’ and ‘ku’ with me. Recently, he even called me an idiot, how bold has he gotten.”

“Dao said you’re the first person in his life to use ‘mung’ and ‘ku’ with him.”

“Hmm, should I be proud of that?”

Suddenly, Ter’s phone rang.

“It’s Phoon calling.” Ter said, answering the phone.

“He’s going to say, ‘Ter, I don’t know where I am.’ You believe that?” I teased.

(Ter, where am I? I don’t know.)

   There it is. Without missing a beat, the words from the other end of the line made both me and Ter burst out laughing.

“Lost again? I’ve already sent you my location.”

(Ter, I…which part of Chiang Mai am I, Ter?)

   “Phoon sounds so panicked.” I remarked.

(Is North with you? Help me.)

   “Just check your GPS to see where you are.” (Looking at it. Guys, I’m confused, what’s with all these lines? It doesn’t look like where I am at all, it’s cold and dark here, Ter, North.)

   “Why do you sound so pitiful?” I said, feeling a bit sorry for him, and why am I even feeling sorry for Phoon, “Did you take a motorcycle?”

(Yeah, I borrowed it from the roommate next door at the dorm.)

   “Phoon riding a bike is the most worrying, I’m telling you.” Ter said.

“Why?”

“He can’t even tell left from right, Phoon, do you know you’re not supposed to park on the road right now? Are you parked on the road?”

(Huh? I can’t park here? I thought no parking was just where there’s a white and red line.)

   What a mess…

“It’s dangerous, Phoon, find a proper place to park first.” I said, letting out a big sigh, “Do you even have a driver’s license?”

(I don’t.)

   Damn…

Why do you live so recklessly? It’s like nothing’s safe, how have you survived this long?

(It’s raining, Ter, North, it’s raining, and I don’t have a raincoat.)

   “Huh, it’s raining?” I asked in surprise. The sky was so clear at noon. I didn’t expect it would rain in the evening. I turned to look outside and saw that it had indeed started to rain; the sky had darkened so much.

(My camera isn’t waterproof.)

   “Phoon. Calm down.” I said, suddenly Phoon started shouting, which startled me. The medical students also turned to look because Phoon was loud, and we had the speakerphone on, “And why did you bring your camera?”

(Northhhh)

   “You sound like you’re lost again.” I chuckled. Phoon loves his camera because he’s into photography, but he only takes pictures of the sky. I don’t get that part.

“Is something wrong?” Phii Hill asked.

“Phii Hill, Phoon is lost.” Ter said with a worried frown, “And it’s raining, he took the motorcycle.”

“Huh?” Phii Joe turned with a slight look of surprise upon hearing what Ter said, “Tell him to send his location, we’ll pick him up.”

“Phoon, send your location, we’re coming to get you.”

(Who’s coming?) Phoon’s voice asked, with the sound of heavy rain outside.

“Fah.” Phii Joe said, looking over at Phii Fah. This made me and Ter look at each other, as if the medical students knew something they weren’t going to tell us.

But Phii Fah shook his head in refusal, still focused on his book.

“I’ll go.” Phii Hill said, standing up. I saw Phii Hill exhale slightly, “Ter, do you want to come too?”

“Yes.” Ter stood up immediately, “North, can I borrow a jacket for Phoon?”

I nodded in response. Ter grabbed the jacket I had given him earlier in the day.

“Phoon, we’re coming to get you.”

(Are you coming with Phii Hill?)

   “Yeah, wait a moment.”

(…Okay) then Ter hung up and followed Phii Hill out.

“Fah.” Phii Joe called Phii Fah again, this time in a lower voice.

“What?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you.”

“I just don’t want to be ignored anymore.”

… Phoon followed Ter up, looking like a drenched kitten, covered by my jacket to protect him from the cold. They both came and sat with me in the same corner. I handed Phoon the towel I had just fetched, and he started wiping his wet hair.

“Just to study, you have to go through all this?” Phoon asked, his voice trembling.

“How did you get here?” I asked.

“I left my motorcycle at a parking place nearby, then got a ride with Phii Hill.” Ter explained, “You shouldn’t have ridden by yourself, we could have picked you up from the start.”

“I didn’t want to be a bother.”

We chatted for a bit, and then it was time to study. I had to go sit with Phii Joe for him to tutor me. Phoon and Ter, being from the same faculty, studied together.

“Ugh.” I slumped forward, resting my cheek on the table, feeling utterly drained. I can’t do this anymore, why is it so hard, “Phii…I can’t take it anymore.”

“Don’t want the PS4 anymore?”

“I do want it, but I’m about to give up.” I mumbled. Phii Joe reached out and ruffled my hair with a hint of annoyance. I scooted closer to him and leaned against his arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Just want to be a bit clingy.” I said. I like being clingy, I’ve been like this since I was a kid. I liked clinging to my mom, my aunt, so naturally, I cling to Phii Joe too, and he doesn’t mind. Plus, I’ve grown to like physical touch because of him.

“Tired and now you’re being cute with me?”

“Yeah, just taking a little break.”

“Smells like diabetes.” Phii Arthit remarked.

“Why? Is there a problem?” Phii Joe asked, “Some people just don’t have it.”

“Arguing again.” “Phii Hill.” Ter brought a question to Phii Hill about Joe’s study. It’s good when you study the same course, huh. They are so skilled, they can tutor everything. I continued reading and occasionally turned to ask Phii Joe questions when I didn’t understand something, and he explained it well.

“Why don’t you just finish your engineering degree if you can handle studying like this?” Phii Arthit, sitting across from us, asked.

“My wife is already studying it.”

Wife?

   I think I’m not used to this word yet, can I keep it for now? T^T

   “And then you’re stupid enough to study medicine, why?”

“Here comes that question again. I have to study, I’ve come this far.” Phii Joe said, clearly not that fond of studying medicine. He seemed to prefer his part-time work, the subjects are hard, and he doesn’t even like them. If it were me, I would have given up.

“You don’t have to study at all, your wife is already studying.” Phii Arthit’s words made me look up at him in confusion.

“Yeah, better to work and support your wife.”

“Exactly, once your wife graduates, you’ll be set.”

“I won’t have to work, North can do that.” Phii Joe said, chuckling, and Phii Arthit joined in.

“Make sure you support me too.” Phii Joe turned to tell me.

“Phii. If you’re waiting for North to work alone, what will we eat?” I playfully responded, “We might not even have a place to sleep.”

“Such a pitiful life for us.” Phii Joe said, then turned to me and gently patted my head, “I guess I better work then.”

“Study hard, it’s tough for those paying for your education.” Phii Arthit teased. I laughed at Phii Tit’s words. I feel like I’ve grown closer to Phii Arthit and Phii Fah because we meet often, and I play games with Phii Tit too, “I’m too lazy to study, I should just drop out.”

“Hold on a bit longer.” Phii Joe said, “Just four or five more years.”

“Sigh, I feel so much more motivated now, thanks to Joe.”

And so, the playful conversation among the medical students continued alongside their studying, mixing in some fun to keep the stress at bay. I finished my reading and went to hang out with Ter and Phoon as usual. It seems like the medical students’ curriculum is so heavy that they can barely keep up with the reading.

“Phoon, what’s this?” I asked, noticing a book in Phoon’s bag that was open, “Cramming for medicine?”

“North, don’t touch my stuff.” Phoon said, snatching the book back from me.

“Are you planning to reapply for medicine?”

“Yeah.” Phoon answered quietly before putting the book back in his bag.

“Phoon wants to be a doctor.” Ter said.

“Really, that’s awesome, Dr. Phoon.” I teased a bit, then got a hard slap on my arm from Phoon, “Ouch! Why did you hit me?”

“Phoon gets embarrassed when someone calls him Doctor Phoon, oh!” Ter got a light slap, but why was it so gentle with Ter? When it’s me, Phoon swings with full force.

“If you pass, you’d be our junior, right?”

“That’s probably how it’ll be, if I pass.”

“Awesome, good luck, kitty. You’ve got this.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

By the time we finished studying, it was almost 9 PM. I went back to shower and waited for Phii Joe so we could go to bed together. Not long after turning off the lights, overcome by sleepiness and exhaustion from studying, I drifted off easily. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like I had only slept for a moment, and found that Phii Joe wasn’t there. Initially, I thought he might have gone to the bathroom, but then I noticed light from outside seeping under my bedroom door, so I went out to check. There was Phii Joe, sitting at the desk.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” I asked sleepily as I sat down next to Phii Joe.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t sleep without my hug, huh?”

“…” I made a slightly sulky face upon hearing that. I guess I have to admit that if Phii Joe isn’t hugging me, I really do wake up like this. “Are you reading?”

“Working.”

“You have to work during exam time?” I was feeling very sleepy, my eyes only half open, I guessed they must be puffy by now.

“Urgent work, go back to sleep.”

“No.” I started to act a bit petulant, “I want to stay here.”

“Stubborn.” Phii Joe said before giving my cheek a gentle squeeze.

“I’m not stubborn.” I argued.

“How are you not stubborn? Sneaking out to have fun isn’t considered being stubborn?”

“…” I pouted before leaning closer to him, resting my face against his arm, Phii Joe glanced at me briefly.

“North, you are stuck on me now, you know that?”

“Stuck like glue.” I said, smiling broadly, “Don’t get tired of me, okay?”

“How could I get tired of you?”

“Yeah, because North loves Phii so much.” I said, still groggy from just waking up, so a bit dazed, “So much that even North is scared.” “Hmm, scared of what?” Phii Joe asked, stopping what he was doing to pull me onto his lap, a position he liked because it let us look into each other’s eyes.

“Scared. If you ever get bored, North can’t even imagine how he’d feel.”

“…”

“It’s North’s first time feeling like this. At first, when people warned me about you, North thought he’d be okay with whatever happened, so North loved you without any fear.”

“But now, you feel afraid.”

“I’ve never felt this way before.” I said before resting my face against his chest. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’ve never over thought like this before because I feel like I love him so much I’d give up everything for him. But if one day it all falls apart, I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it like I thought I could.

Yes…because I never thought I could love someone this much.

It seems like all my thoughts and feelings go haywire when it comes to Phii Joe. I’m scared he might get angry, scared he might be worried, scared he might get hurt. Where is he now? What is he doing? Has he eaten? In this heat, would he be annoyed? Or is he out in the rain? I worry about everything, even though I’m not usually the type to overthink about others.

But I’ve never looked down on his love for me. I know Phii Joe loves me, and it wouldn’t be right if I just kept worrying that he might leave me. Sometimes, I think everything is just too perfect, so perfect that I secretly think I wouldn’t be able to go on if things changed.

Instead of understanding that everything can change,

I cling to the idea of keeping everything as it is.

Thinking back to the first time I realized I loved Phii Joe, I never tried to stop my feelings either. How could I not love him? How could I not love someone who loves me this much… “North…”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever thought about the future?”

“Uh…yes.”

“What did you think?”

“Just graduate, work as an engineer, save money, have a house, a car, a family.” I said, trying to visualize it, “But we can’t have kids, right? Would you want to adopt?”

“No, I’d rather just be with North, just the two of us.”

“Then we’ll save money, buy a house, buy a car, and live together.”

“I already have those.”

“Really?”

“Whether it’s a house, a car, or money, I can get as much for you as you want.”

“What about your dreams…”

“North, you are my dream…North, you have always been my dream.”

“You’ve never had a dream of what you wanted to be or do?”

“If I hadn’t met you , I probably would have just lived day by day as usual, with a life that meant nothing.”

“Phii…”

“Just having you with me is enough. In the future, no matter what happens, if you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you there. Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you by your side.”

“…”

“If it’s not you, I probably wouldn’t be able to love anyone else for the rest of my life.”

“…” “So…can you stay with me forever?” “Yes.” I promised, before hugging him tighter, “Forever.”

“Phii loves you, North.”

“North loves Phii too.”

The warm embrace made me realize that my fears were meaningless. No need to fear getting hurt. No need to brace myself. No need to be scared that anything would change.

   Just love as much as one can possibly love someone in a lifetime.

   And…

   If ‘forever’ truly exists, I want to spend it with this person.

  

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 31 part 1

   Chapter 31: Stay With Me

   “What are you doing?”

“What?”

“What are we doing here?”

“Come see.”

“Acting like a bunch of psychos.” I said, letting out a small sigh while glancing at the two people standing in front of a shop at the flea market, choosing goods. Damn, I’m getting so annoyed; I really don’t like this hot weather, but what I dislike more is that my junior sneaked out to hang out.

With Ter, just the two of them…

Actually, we had a study session planned. My junior had an event at the faculty as well. I dropped him off at the faculty early in the morning, but it seems like the teacher wasn’t there, so he snuck out to have fun without telling me, and he even dragged Ter along with him.

And they came here by themselves, huh.

Hill and I were worried like crazy; we rushed out to find them just in time.

Is this really the time to go for a stroll at a flea market? With this scorching sun?

At first, when I found out they snuck out to hang out together, I wasn’t that bothered. I was just worried and planned to pick them up, but when Arthit asked,

“Why do you think your partners might have a reason to sneak out without telling you guys?”

“Damn, Arthit you are such a troublemaker.”

“Why do you think they came out?” Hill asked.

“To buy stuff.” I replied. There aren’t many reasons to sneak out without telling us; maybe they came to buy something to surprise us, “Is your anniversary coming up?”

“No.” Hill shook his head slightly, “It’s not yours, right?”

“No.”

“So what did they come to buy?”

“Maybe he just wanted to buy something.” I said, “or maybe he just wanted to go out, just the two of them.”

“Just the two of them?” Hill echoed my words.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, maybe Ter is tired of you.” I teased. Hill immediately turned to give me a displeased look, “Maybe Ter thinks I don’t want to be with Phii Hill anymore.”

“Ha, more likely North is the one who’s tired of you.” I shrugged, not really caring about what he said, then looked over at the two younger ones. I just noticed that Ter was wearing North’s jacket, definitely given to him by North because Ter can’t stand the sun for long.

“He took off his jacket for Ter.” Hill said.

“Yeah, I just saw.”

“He’s such a manly man.”

“No matter how manly, he’s my boyfriend now.”

“Very impressive.” Hill said, slightly annoyed, “But thank North for taking care of Ter.”

“It’s nothing, just a small thing.”

“I’m thanking North. Not you.”

“I’ll take it for him then.” I wanted to go fetch them and bring them back right now, but another part of me was curious about why they came here, and if, like Hill said, they wanted some time with friends, we shouldn’t interfere, though I was still worried, “Are we going to keep following them like this, Hill?”

“I’m worried.”

“Me too.”

“Let’s wait a bit longer before we take them back.”

“I’m hot, why do we have to be at this market?” I started complaining again. I really hate the heat, to be honest. I knew Ter can’t be out in the sun for long, yet they still brought him here. Does Ter not think to stop or argue at all? Does he just go wherever North takes him? They both deserve a scolding, why are they so mischievous?

“What time is it?”

“Three in the afternoon.” I answered.

“The junior definitely plans to be back before five.” “Oh.” because our study session ends around five, probably thinking they could pretend they were still at the event, like when they’re sick and still go out to get gear, “What if I message them on LINE? What do you think will happen?”

“Let’s try it.” Hill said, before I pulled out my phone to type a message to the junior.

Johan: Where are you?

   (Read)

   I saw the junior take out their phone, look at the screen, and then show a shocked expression as they hurriedly showed it to Ter, who also looked uneasy.

They must be discussing how to respond, right?

North♣: Studying, sir.

   North♣: Have you finished your break?

   Johan: Just finished.

   Johan: Can I call?

   (Read)

   They looked even more shocked than before.

“Are you messing with the junior?” Hill asked.

“Just asked if I could call.” I replied. Hill gave a small amused smile before shaking his head lightly.

North♣: I am studying, T^T

   Johan: Really?

   Johan: Send a picture.

   (Read)

   I saw the junior look even more worried, afraid that I would find out they were out having fun. It seems like they felt uncomfortable about lying too. How cute.

North♣: I was studying at first, TT

   Johan: Hmm

   Johan: Miss you.

   “What?” Hill asked, turning to look at me, “You look all embarrassed.”

North smiled shyly, his face turning redder than it already was from the sun.

“Just saying I miss you.” I said.

North♣: Miss you too.

   Hmm…did you really need to smile that adorably when typing “miss you” To send to me?

North♣: sends Tiger sticker

   North♣: I’m off now.

   Johan: Let me know when you’re done, I’ll come pick you up.

   North♣: Sure.

   Hill and I slowly followed the crowd, watching as the kids stopped at various shops but hadn’t bought anything yet, except Ter who got some snacks. I glanced at the person next to me who was secretly sighing.

“You want to go carry things for him, don’t you?” I teased.

“Yeah.”

“North is already carrying for him.” I commented, noticing North taking the bag from Ter’s hand. I don’t often see him like this. When he’s with me, he’s very clingy, but not because he wants anything, just being clingy for the sake of it.

He never throws tantrums when I don’t have much time for him, just tells me to take care and not overwork myself. He takes good care of me, from preparing breakfast, cleaning the room, the room is even cleaner than when we hire a housekeeper.

Suddenly, my phone rang with a call from Arthit. I answered it right away.

“What?”

(How’s it going, mister sugar daddy?)

   “Nothing’s going on. Just watching.” (Watching how? Following secretly?)

   “Yeah.”

(You guys are stalking Tiger now, huh?)

   “At first, I thought it wasn’t, but looking at it, it seems like it.” I said, laughing a bit, “I can’t tell the difference between stalking Tiger and what we’re doing.”

(Why do we have to follow our own partners secretly? Do I have friends who are psychopaths?)

   “Want to know what they’re doing?”

(And what did they end up doing?)

   “Probably buying stuff.”

(To surprise you guys?)

   “I don’t know, North might buy something for me, but Ter probably won’t buy anything for Hill.” I teased, and Hill, who was nearby, heard it too.

(Your wife doesn’t love you anymore, Hill?) Arthit chimed in teasingly.

“Dammit, if North doesn’t ask me to, I won’t even bother.”

(Are you guys arguing over whose partner will buy something? A battle of husbands’ honor?) the comment from the other end of the line made me laugh again, (If neither of your partners buys anything, I’ll be the one laughing.)

   “Why did you call, anyway?”

(Just checking in, lonely with just Fah for company.)

   “How far along are you with your studies?”

(The same, when are you coming back?)

   “Don’t know, maybe in a bit.”

(Okay) then Arthit hung up, and when I turned back, the juniors had disappeared.

“They’ve gone into the plant shop.” Hill noted. “Plants?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise, confirming with him. It looked like they were browsing around the cacti section, but seriously, the junior hardly noticed anything. Me and Hill had been following them for a while without them realizing.

“You really want a cactus, huh?” I walked into the shop too, careful not to be seen by the junior, and overheard North asking Ter.

“Yeah, I want to take care of one, I heard from Dao that they’re quite cute.”

Dao?

   Who’s that?

   “What’s so cute about a cactus?”

“It’s cute, but I wonder if Phii Hill would give one.” Ter asked. I looked over at Hill; he probably wouldn’t mind. It’s just one cactus.

“I think you’ll get it, Phii Hill is super nice.”

“Isn’t Phii Joe nice?”

“He is nice, but he likes to scold.”

Oh, we’re being talked about…

“Does he scold often?”

“Yeah, he likes to scold. If he finds out we sneaked out to hang out, we’re definitely getting scolded.” North said, “Does Phii Hill scold you?”

“Sometimes, when I do something wrong.”

“But it’s not that scary, right?”

“Not really scary, he’ll talk it out. Is Phii Joe scary?”

“Very, I feel like I shrink to half my size.”

The two juniors chatted for a while before Ter bought a cactus, then they moved on to another shop.

“Do you scold him often?” Hill asked, “He seems scared now.” “Sometimes I have to.” I said. I picked up the habit from my dad; because Gene often acts like a child, Dad had to scold her or she’d be unruly all the time. It’s the same with North.

“But North said he likes kind people.”

“He really does.”

“Yeah, Ter once said North likes kind people, so you’re not really his type.”

“Beast, I can be kind too.”

“Really? At first, you were all about bossing him around, weren’t you?” I fell silent, giving Hill a look of exasperation, unable to argue back. I get tired of arguing with Hill because I usually can’t win, “If it weren’t for North, who would put up with someone like you?”

“He doesn’t have to put up with me.” I said, thinking back to what North had once told me. He said he never had to endure me; he understood everything. If he understands, there’s no need to endure, “He said he understands.”

“Then who could understand as well as North does?”

“No, there isn’t.” I said, “Even if there is someone else, it wouldn’t be him. I wouldn’t want them.”

“Take good care of him.”

“I know.”

“When someone said they like kind-hearted people, I think of Fah. If you don’t like the junior, and they hang out with us often, he might like Fah.” Hill remarked as we continued to follow the junior.

“Kind-hearted to the extreme.”

“Meaning?”

“Fah is excessively kind-hearted.” I said truthfully, “But Fah is a good person, I won’t say anything bad about Fah.”

“Because Fah works for you?” “Yes. If I graduate, it’ll be thanks to Fah.”

“Even with someone as bad as you, Fah is still kind.” Hill said with a slight sigh, “But anything in excess isn’t good.”

“Yeah.” I nodded in agreement, as if Hill knew something about Fah from the start. I didn’t know how he found out. At first, I wasn’t paying much attention, but recently we’ve talked about it and agreed it’s best not to get involved.

Before noticing the juniors sitting down to rest near a bench. We walked around to sit on a bench facing the opposite direction.

“Man, I’m tired, we haven’t found it yet.” Ter started complaining.

“Exactly, isn’t this place too big?”

“And what if we find it? The seniors will find out anyway.”

“We’ll have to sleep somewhere else, so we have time to do something.”

North’s words made me and Hill look at each other, what did he mean by sleeping somewhere else? I absolutely wouldn’t allow that.

“Where? Phoon’s room? Phoon lives alone, right?” Ter suggested.

“That’s good, but how should we ask the doctors for permission?” North asked back.

“Just say we’re staying over with a friend, would they allow it?”

No!

Suddenly, Hill nudged me to look over. I followed his gaze.

Assholes…

Why the hell are they staring at our boyfriends?

“I’ve seen them looking for a while now.” Hill said with a displeased look. Hill is super possessive, and he was clearly irritated. I wasn’t any different; I was starting to get annoyed too.

I could hear the kids talking about other things, having a great time.

Can’t they stop smiling so widely that others notice? Before the kids got up from the bench to continue walking around, I noticed those guys were about to follow.

“Damn it. Next time, I’m locking him in the room.” I said irritably, why are they looking at someone else’s partner? “I’m going to get my boyfriend.”

“Calm down.”

“Are you telling me to calm down?” I turned to ask Hill. You’re just as hotheaded as I am. You’ve got no right to tell others to calm down.

“Stop glaring, Joe.”

“You too, Hill.”

I tried to hold back from punching those jerks talking about my boyfriend, and Hill was doing the same. It wouldn’t be good to cause a scene here.

“Who do you like?”

“I like the one in the white shirt, he’s cute, his cheeks look pinchable.” He must mean Ter, who’s wearing North’s white jacket. The word ‘pinchable’ really ticked Hill off.

“But I like the other one, his eyes squint when he smiles.”

Shit…

“I just want to go help him carry stuff, he looks so delicate.”

“Yeah, they both look so soft.”

“And they’re both fair-skinned. I wonder if they’re even whiter under their shirts.” That last comment snapped my patience.

“Watch your mouth.” My words made those two turn around with confused looks.

“What?” He asked back with a confrontational look, though his voice trembled slightly.

“Guys like you don’t even have the right to look at my wife.” “Huh? Wife?” The same guy asked back, looking tense, while the other one stepped in to stop the situation.

“Sorry. Didn’t know he had a partner.”

“Get lost.”

“Alright, alright.” before the two of them walked away from us, “Just a bunch of troublemakers.” I said, irritated. They were just all talk, and hadn’t even done anything yet.

“I’m going to find the junior.” Hill said, letting out a small sigh, not of relief but to control his anger.

“Yeah.” I agreed, let the two walk by themselves for a bit, otherwise, they’ll attract more attention.

“Don’t go and get all heated at your junior.”

“I wasn’t planning on getting heated at the junior at all.” I said.

“Your look is pretty scary right now, did you know that, Joe?”

“And what about you, do you realize how you look like you’re about to kill someone?”

♣♣♣

“How about a photo booth or something like that?” I proposed an idea. Ter and I were discussing what to do for the doctor, wanting to make a handmade gift. Not for any special occasion, just because he’s given me so much already.

“That could work, you already have a lot of photos.”

“Right.” I love taking pictures when we’re together for Instagram, we could use those, right? Thinking like this, I started missing Phii Joe. I felt so guilty for sneaking out with Ter and lying about being at an event. I’ve never lied to Phii Joe since we started dating, this was the first time, and I felt really bad about it, T^T

Ter also felt uncomfortable lying to Phii Hill. We were both in such a rush to buy things and get back quickly. “Will he still be studying?” I asked casually.

“Probably, why?”

“Nothing. Just worried, you know, if he gets some rest too. With this hot weather, Phii Joe definitely doesn’t like it, it’s good he’s in an air-conditioned room.” I said, thinking aloud, “Did he sneak some coffee again? I made him one cup this morning.”

“Huh?”

“Do you realize how much you’ve changed since you’ve been seriously dating Phii Joe?”

“Really? How so?”

“You think too much now, I mean about Phii Joe. You think about everything.” Ter said.

“I’m just worried. If he’s okay, then I’m fine.”

“My friend, you’ve got it bad.” Ter teased, “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“And is that bad?” I asked back.

“No, it just shows how much you love him.”

“Have you ever been like this?”

“Me? Yeah, I have. I am now, I miss Phii Hill too. Let’s hurry up and buy what we need then go back.” Ter said, turning to look around. “They’re gone now.”

“What?” I asked, turning to look.

“Just now, while we were sitting on the bench, two guys were looking at you weirdly, I just happened to see.” Ter told me. My eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Good that they left, it was creepy as hell.”

“They were probably looking at you more. You’ll get people asking for your Line soon enough.”

“Don’t say that.” “Phii Hill will get jealous.” Phii Hill gets super jealous. He can be really scary when he gets possessive, and I’ve heard stories of people who got too close to Ter mysteriously disappearing.

Phii Joe is the same way.

“Yeah, just looking at Phii Hill, he doesn’t like it. But I don’t like it either when people look at Phii Hill.”

“I feel the same.” I said, I used to think I wasn’t that jealous, but when I was with my ex, no one ever really looked at her like this. But when I’m with Phii Joe, there are always people looking, trying to hit on him, “I feel possessive. He’s my boyfriend after all.” I said, letting out a small chuckle at my own words.

“Really possessive, huh?” Suddenly, someone’s voice spoke from the side.

Phii Joe…

   How did he get here…?

   “Uh…” I was so shocked I couldn’t do anything, and the shopping bag in my hand was taken away, it looked like Phii Hill was there too. Ter also seemed at a loss for what to do, “How did you guys get here?”

“Two naughty kids snuck out to have fun, huh?” Phii Joe said with a slight smirk. I felt like a child caught sneaking out by their mom, yeah, but that’s exactly what happened.

“Sorry.” I said immediately, my face falling. I didn’t look at Ter, but I guessed he was in the same state.

“…”

 

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 30 part 2

“Yeah, I was thinking the same.” Duennao agreed, “If Phii Joe and Phii Arthit were walking, I bet everyone would scream themselves hoarse for the medical faculty, and they’re already close to it.”

“And who’s the girl walking with Phii Fah? She has a beautiful smile.” Kyu asked, “Is she a star of the medical faculty?”

“Yep.” I nodded, “Her name is Phii Thanmild.”

“Why do you look so sour, North?” Duennao asked, after Phii Fah and Phii Hill had passed by. The screams had noticeably quieted down, turning into regular teasing and cheering.

“I don’t like it.” I said, letting out a small sigh.

“Is it because of Phii Thanmild?” Skater asked. I nodded in response, “Why?”

“She once came to pick on Ter, so I don’t really like her that much.” I started to explain, still feeling a bit annoyed when I recalled it. My friends listened with interest, “Phii Mild has a crush on Phii Hill, to the extent that she followed him here to study.”

“Wow, the power of love is strong.” Nao said, “So she went after Ter because of that? Seriously, picking on Ter, who’s so gentle and delicate.” “Exactly, that’s Ter for you.” Kyu said, “And how did she pick on him?”

“It wasn’t exactly picking on him. When I went to drop Ter off to see Phii Hill, it’s been a while.” I said, recalling the time. Back when I didn’t know Phii Joe yet, in the first semester, I would go with Ter as usual. We were waiting under the faculty building, and there was a group of girls already sitting there. They kept glancing our way. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but over time, their glances turned into sneers, and they started making snide remarks, “They were glaring hard and making jabs.”

“Jabs like what?”

“Something like, ‘You don’t seem to fit with Hill at all, Hill shouldn’t have chosen someone like you,’ stuff like that.” I recounted, starting to get frustrated remembering it.

“Such bitches.” Nao said, sounding annoyed, “And what did Ter do? Poor Ter.”

“Ter just stayed quiet. He’s not the type to retort anyway.”

“And you?” Nao asked.

“Oh, I got pretty heated.” I said. I was really angry at the time. They were looking at me, so I looked back, almost confrontationally, until they looked away. I was about to go ask, ‘What do you want with my friend?’ but Ter stopped me first, “It’s so annoying, damn it, just talking about it makes me mad. It’s like a drama, sometimes it’s just too much.”

“You’re really into it, North, getting all worked up telling the story.” Kyu teased, “Did you tell Phii Hill?”

“I did, and Phii Hill probably sorted it out. After that, she didn’t bother us much. Maybe she gave up.”

“And then she went for Phii Fah instead.”

“Huh?” I turned to look at Kyu, confused by what he said, “What do you mean?” “I don’t know, but I saw Phii Mild, whatever, looking happy walking with Phii Fah, looking at him often, smiling widely.”

“Yeah, whatever, just don’t mess with my friend.” I said, letting out a sigh, “If you mess with him again, I might end up scolding a girl this time. Now, just saying this gets me heated. What’s with her? Phii Hill doesn’t like her, so what if she’s pretty? Phii Hill chose Ter, so she should give up.”

“Damn.” Skater said, bursting into laughter, “You get invested so easily, you act like you’re Ter himself.”

“I get invested in other people’s affairs easily, but what I get invested in even more is money.” I said with a laugh, “But it’s true, my friend is way cuter.”

“Friends should support each other like this.” Nao said, chuckling as well, “My friend is the best. Who’s Thanmild or whatever? Ter is the most suitable for Phii Hill.”

“Exactly, it’s got to be like this, Nao.” I said, reaching out to high-five Nao, “What kind of name is Thanmild? Crazy, you can’t just mix ‘Than’ and ‘Mild’ like that.”

“Damn, bullying someone over their name.” Skater commented.

“The star of the medical faculty got bullied by me.” I said, unable to stop laughing at myself. I have this thing with names, ever since Daotok.

“But Phii Mild is really beautiful.” Kyu said.

“So what?” I said, putting some emotion into it.

“Yeah, so what?” Nao added.

“Calm down, guys, I was just saying she’s beautiful, no big deal.”

“I’m team Ter.” I said, raising an eyebrow at Kyu, then we continued chatting about the parade and other things. After the parade finished, there was the award ceremony for various sports. I saw Phii Arthit when he went up to receive his award, he didn’t look too thrilled about getting second place. Phii Arthit is really good at sports, but it’s a team game, so you have to accept it sometimes.

When it came to the show performances, they went on one after another. By the time it got to the middle faculties, it started to rain, but many faculties still insisted on continuing their shows.

“The medical faculty is the best.” Duennao remarked. After peeking over at the stand next to ours, I didn’t need to look to know it was awesome; the singing was loud and the cheerleaders were on point, “Phii Arthit is playing the drums.”

“Ha? Really?” I asked, surprised, and then leaned over to look.

He really was, Phii Arthit was drumming for the medical faculty. I just found out he plays the drums.

“That’s so cool, he can play drums too?” Skater said, “These medical guys are just good at everything, aren’t they? I’m serious, do they really pick each other for their talents?”

“Probably.” I said. I guessed they might be dating because they seemed to get along well, could communicate, and understood each other. It’s not about personality; people don’t have to have the same personality to be friends or partners.

When it was our faculty’s turn, the rain came down heavily. Even though there was a roof above, the rain still splashed in.

“Don’t sneeze on me, Nao.” I said.

“Why are you so hung up about this?”

“I’m still mad at you.” I turned to glare at him, “You made me catch a cold when I hadn’t been sick in a year.” I could hear the commotion from the neighboring stands because people were crowding to find shelter from the rain. Other faculties that had already finished their performances started to disperse. So once our faculty’s show was over, we could finally leave. Enduring the rain for nearly fifteen minutes, after the performance ended, the seniors asked us to return the cheering equipment.

“Don’t push, ouch, I’m about to fall flat.” Skater complained when people from below started to crowd up, “I’m going to fall off the stand!”

“It’s so humid.” I grumbled. The rain made everything sticky, and the crowd wasn’t helping.

“Nao.” I heard Tiger call out, as if he was pushing through the crowd to reach Nao, “Let’s go back, or you’ll catch a cold standing here.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nao agreed before making his way through the crowd to Tiger. I saw Tiger covering Nao with his own jacket, “Aren’t you going to wear it?”

“I’m fine with being wet. You wear it.”

“OK, thanks, then I’ll go, guys.” Nao said goodbye, waving at us slightly. We waved back, watching Nao leave first. I then subtly made my way through the crowd to Tiger.

“Tiger.”

“What?”

“Are you guys back together?”

“Such a busybody.”

“Come on, but you called me that day.”

“It’s not ‘getting back together’ because we weren’t fighting. Like I would ever be mad at Nao.” Tiger said, then followed Nao. I stood there, stunned by his words for a moment. I didn’t know why, but that simple statement really touched me.

“Tiger is hot, isn’t he? He looks so sexy when he’s wet from the rain.” I heard the girls around here saying, “I like sporty guys.”

“But can I ship Tiger and Nao? He even took off his shirt for him. Will there be a guy who would do something like that for me in this lifetime? I’m jealous, I want Tiger.” “Yeah, I watch Duennao’s live streams just to see Tiger.”

“I donated to pay for Tiger, I want to be his husband.”

Donating to Nao because you paid for Tiger, seems like something went a bit wrong, doesn’t it, girls?

“I’m leaving.” I walked towards Skater and Kyu, said goodbye before squeezing down below, planning to run over to Phii Joe at the medical faculty stand, but when I got down there, I saw Phii Joe, quite wet from the rain, standing near the front of our side stand.

“Phii.” I called out and ran towards him.

“Got wet in the rain?”

“No, but Phii…” He looked wetter than someone who just got splashed by rain like me. Before I could say anything more, Phii Joe’s jacket was draped over me, “Are you leaving already?”

“No, let’s take shelter from the rain first. I heard the engineering faculty has no place to take shelter, right?”

“Ah, yes.” Phii Joe looked over at our faculty’s area, which was packed, let out a small sigh, then led me to the medical faculty’s shelter.

“So, there really is no shelter from the rain?” Phii Fah asked, handing us some towels.

“Yeah, it’s cramped and crowded.” Phii Joe said, sounding annoyed. I glanced at the medical faculty’s stand, which was barely touched by the rain, thanks to its wider roof and fewer people, “What about Hill?”

“Go find Ter, I heard the veterinary faculty also doesn’t have a shelter.”

“Hmm, are you cold?” Phii Joe turned to ask me.

“Not really.”

Phii Joe looked at me, slightly displeased, then reached over to zip up the jacket for me, “Why is this jacket so thin?” “Thin? But it didn’t look thin this morning.” I said, it’s a faculty jacket after all. It didn’t seem thin to me, but Phii Joe didn’t reply. Sitting here, it’s all medical students, huh. Judging by the staff shirts, they must all be Phii Joe’s friends.

“Did you hear someone bought you snacks at noon?” A flat voice from in front of me sent a shiver down my spine, for some reason.

“Yes.” I nodded. At noon, my seniors didn’t let me go anywhere, so Phii Joe bought food and snacks for me, and for my other friends too. When it was time to go up to the stand, someone left snacks for me, but I refused and returned them, “But I returned them to him.”

“Really?”

I’m definitely angry…

Phii Joe knows because James definitely told him. I think I saw James lingering around the stands at noon.

“Actually, I only ate the snacks you gave me.”

“…”

“Don’t be mad at me.” I started to plead, having a habit of pleading when scolded, just like when I’m with my mom, “Please?”

“…”

Are you really angry or just making me plead for fun?

“Can you hold out your hand?” I asked, thinking of something, then extended both my hands towards him. Phii Joe reached out both hands to me, “North, you have been reading palms.”

“Huh?”

“What’s your zodiac sign?”

“Probably Taurus.”

“With a palm line like this and born under Taurus, it’s said you’ll have a loyal lover.” “…”

“Really, a lover will love only you. They won’t even eat snacks from others.”

“Can you make up like this?” Phii Joe asked before letting out a small chuckle.

“There, I’ve successfully coaxed you.” I said, smiling broadly, laughing at myself for playing this game.

“And how can I stay angry after this?” Phii Joe said before reaching over to gently pinch my cheek.

“Don’t be angry, I am a good kid.”

“Really?”

“Yes, didn’t I ever tell you…”

“I myself only have only you too, Phii.”

I said, simultaneously taking both of Phii Joe’s hands and touching them to my cheeks, before giving a broad smile to the person in front of me.

  

   NORTH HOW MUCH IS YOUR LOVE CHAPTERS HOME

NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 30 part 1

   Chapter 30: Never Be Alone

   I woke up groggily to the sound of the alarm clock; it was 6 AM. Normally, I wake up around this time to make breakfast, and today was no exception. Today is the Sports Day event, where my faculty has an early event. As a second-year, my activities include looking after the freshmen, managing various tasks for them, and it seems Phii Johan has free time since he doesn’t care much about such events.

I slowly moved out of the embrace from behind and got out of bed. Since he was asleep, he wasn’t holding me tightly. I got up to shower and then went into the kitchen. Yesterday, we went to the supermarket with Kett to stock up on fresh ingredients. I opened the fridge, scanning the contents while thinking about what to cook.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” The deep, slightly irritated voice came from behind. Phii Joe had just woken up, but as I’ve noted before, he always looks good regardless.

This happens all the time. If I get up from bed, about half an hour later, Phii Joe would wake up too. I think it’s a better alarm than any clock. If I’m still in bed, he won’t wake up no matter how many alarms go off.

“Making breakfast.” I said, turning back to the kitchen counter.

“Isn’t today a weekend?”

“I have to go to Sports Day.” I said as I prepared the food. Suddenly, Phii Joe hugged me from behind, leaning down to press his lips against my cheek.

“Can I have a morning kiss?”

I turned around, tilting my head up to meet his lips in a gentle kiss, holding it for a moment before pulling away.

“Good morning.” I said with a smile, and Phii Joe returned a slight smile as well.

“What are we having for breakfast?”

“Soymilk with Chinese doughnuts.” I said teasingly with a slight chuckle, then heard Phii Joe sigh.

“Ugh, do I have to eat that again?”

“Bored of it?”

“I’ve been eating it for breakfast for three years.” Phii Joe said with a tone of boredom, “But I’ll eat more if you made it. I could eat it for a lifetime.”

“Then…I’ll make it for you for a lifetime, don’t get tired of it, okay?” I responded with an embarrassed smile.

“Even if it’s sweet.”

“You’re complaining about it being sweet again. Without sugar syrup, it wouldn’t taste good.” I objected.

“Did you sneak in sugar syrup?”

“Yes, I always do. Without it, it wouldn’t be tasty.”

“Don’t you understand the concept of ‘not sweet’?”

“It’s not sweet then.”

“You argue well.” Phii Joe said before pinching my cheek in annoyance, then kissed my cheek again and let go. He probably went to shower while I was cooking, “Make me some coffee too.” “No can do, today’s a no-coffee day, you don’t have classes or work, take a break from coffee, please.” I said. After my words, Phii Joe didn’t respond. I didn’t turn around to look, but I bet he was making a sulky face, because I’m just worried, he’s too addicted to coffee.

I placed the finished meal on the table.

“Are you staying at the university today, or will you be in the room?” I asked, because Phii Joe didn’t have to go to the university today, it seemed like his day off.

“I’ll stay at the university.”

“Will you be at the medical school’s stand?”

“Yes.”

“Will you be working late? I feel lazy.” I grumbled while making a sulky face, “Did you get on the stand as a freshman?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“And what did you do as a freshman?”

“Nothing really.”

“Okay.”

I think Phii Joe isn’t really suited for university life, because he already has a job, and he’s good at it. It seems like he’s only studying out of necessity for his image. He doesn’t care much about studies or activities, just studying to get the degree, but being a doctor is hard work, so he can’t really take it easy.

“Uh, Phii.” I said, remembering something, “About the job thing.”

“I thought we’ve already talked this through.”

“Yes, but I wants to say, can you not hire a housekeeper anymore? Hire me instead, like for cleaning the room and stuff. I’ll take the same salary as the housekeeper.” I proposed what Nao had suggested. It counts as work, doesn’t it? And since Phii Joe doesn’t want me to do part-time work outside, there’s no need for me to leave the house.

Phii Joe was silent for a moment before agreeing.

“You still want to work, right?” He asked, reaching out to gently pat my head.

“Yes, it feels strange doing nothing at all.”

“Hmm.” Before he took out his wallet and placed some bills on the table in front of me.

“Yes, what’s this?”

“It’s for making breakfast.”

I glanced at the money on the table.

Five thousand…?

“Isn’t that too much?” I asked, feeling hesitant. Just for making breakfast, five thousand seemed excessive, but my words seemed to slightly displease him.

“Take it.”

“Okay.” I picked up the five thousand baht and put it in my wallet, because from his demeanor, Phii Joe would definitely be annoyed if I didn’t accept it. Why does he always seem displeased when I say I feel hesitant? Maybe like Nao said, sometimes the giver really wants to give, and being too hesitant might be considered impolite.

“North, you could ask for something sometimes, Joe wants to give anyway.”

   That’s something Phii Hill once told me, but I’m not really fond of asking for things from others. I’ve been working and saving for a long time, but if you ask if I’ve ever asked for anything at home, it usually comes with conditions, like I have to do something in return for the reward, because I feel like I’ve earned it by effort, not gotten it for free.

“Phii Joe.” I called out, moving from my chair to sit next to him instead.

“Hmm?” “I wants to ask for something.”

“Say.”

“If North gets a GPA of 3.5 this semester, I want a PS4.”

“Sure, but 3.5, really?” Phii Joe asked back, “What was your GPA last semester?”

“2.7.”

“Then a 3 should be enough.”

“Wow, but, a PS4? Is just a 3 good enough?”

“I could just buy it for you, you know.”

“No, we should trade for it. I doesn’t want to just ask for it.” I said, “So, if I get a 3, can I ask for a game from a stream, one that just came out, North wants to play.”

Phii Johan raised his hand to his chin, looking at me with a somewhat puzzled expression.

“You’re so frugal.”

“It’s not being frugal, the game costs over seven hundred baht.”

“You could buy it with the money I just gave you.” Phii Joe said, “And what about the tens of thousands I gave you before, what did you do with that? Why haven’t you used it?”

“Oh, I saved it.” I said truthfully. I always send part of the money I earn back home, saving it for emergencies.

“Is that why you complain about not having money?”

“Huh? Does I complain?” I do complain, but I remember not complaining to Phii Joe. The reason I don’t have much money is because I’m not working.

“Ter told me.”

“Such a tattletale.” I muttered softly, making a slight pout. Why does Ter snitch like that? Or is it revenge for all the times I tattled on him to Phii Hill? He can be quite vindictive. “Why don’t you ever tell me anything?”

“…North is just being considerate.” I answered honestly, then inadvertently avoided the serious gaze of the person in front of me.

“Normally, I have to work, right? If I’m just sitting idle, there’s no way I’d get anything. It’s a habit from childhood. If have no money, I work more. Not doing anything makes me feel like I’m not useful at all.” Because my dad passed away when I was young, I felt like I had to take care of my mom. I’ve been working since I was very young, and when my little brother Night came along, I had to take care of him too. I feel like the eldest brother.

I felt like I needed to be strong for everyone at home.

“So you need to work all the time?” Phii Joe asked.

“Yes.” I nodded in response, “But because I’m studying too, sometimes I can’t go to work. Those times were really tough. No work, no money.” I said with a chuckle directed at him. It really was tough back then. I didn’t dare tell the family because I felt too reluctant. Phii Joe let out a small sigh at my words, then reached out to gently pat my head.

“From now on…”

“…”

“You can rely on me sometimes, okay?”

His words, the warm gaze, and the firm hand stroking my head felt like a surge of strength was flowing through me. I suddenly hugged him without even understanding my own actions.

Why do I, who thought I was always strong, feel like this is the place where I can show my vulnerability?

“North; you aren’t alone anymore, understand?”

“Yes, I understand.”

I’ve been sitting on the engineering faculty stands all day. The Sports Day at my university is divided into two parts. The daytime, known as Sports Day, involves track and field events. We’ve been cheering all day under the hot sun. The nighttime, called Spirit Night, is for performances by each faculty’s stands and cheerleaders.

Phii Joe was with Phii Hill and Phii Fah at the medical faculty stands, right next to the engineering ones. The medical faculty’s stand was incredibly elaborate, clearly a lot of money was spent on it. Our engineering stand was also quite nice, though not as grandiose.

Today’s weather during the day was pretty hot, and Phii Joe isn’t fond of the heat. I was a bit worried, especially since he didn’t have coffee today, which I guessed would make him both sleepy and irritable, having to sit and be bored at the stands in this heat.

During the daytime sports events, there wasn’t much to do besides cheering. Nao was in the relay race, being the first leg, and Tiger was the last. They seemed to be on normal speaking terms, so I guess they’ve made up.

Now it’s evening, and there’s going to be a parade of each faculty. I’m quite excited; I’ve heard that the parades are so spectacular they’re almost unbelievable. The medical faculty is particularly watched because not only is their stand elaborate, but their parade is expected to be as well.

But oddly, as the parade was being prepared, the weather wasn’t cooperative. It’s said that this happens every year, similar to many past Spirit Night events where the parade was held despite the rain. Since preparation for the event takes months, stopping for rain would be a pity, including for the stands and cheerleaders.

“Are they here? Which faculty is first?” Skater asked excitedly as he leaned forward to look. The parade began to enter through the main gate, and the announcer introduced the first faculty as the Faculty of Medicine. “Did your boyfriend get to walk?” Nao turned to ask me. I shook my head in response, “I thought he would.”

Screams erupted from the stands next to us as people started standing up to get a better view, blocking my sight. The engineering stand started getting noisy too. Everyone seemed to be in a frenzy.

I could barely hear over the screaming and the shrieking, it was so loud I wanted to cover my ears. As the parade passed by our stand, I finally got to see it. It was Phii Hill in his student uniform with slightly styled hair, leading the parade with the Faculty of Medicine’s banner.

“Hey, did Phii Hill get a haircut or something? It’s not the style he had before.” Skater asked, shouting to be heard over the screams.

“I guess so, Phii Hill looks insanely handsome with this haircut.” I said, reflecting my thoughts.

“Yeah, he’s handsome, really handsome, I’ll admit.” Duennao said, “When he leads the parade like this, his aura is just through the roof.” I nodded in agreement, Phii Hill is genuinely handsome, otherwise, he wouldn’t be the faculty’s representative. I’ve been praising Phii Hill to the point of exhaustion ever since he started courting Ter.

“Wait a minute.” I said, “More than anything, I hate that he doesn’t look at any other camera except Ter’s.” I spoke up when I noticed Ter with a camera capturing the parade, and Phii Hill wasn’t looking at any other camera but Ter’s, because Ter is the club’s photographer, and he often gets to photograph events like this because Phii Hill requested him. Phii Hill is the club’s president, after all.

“Is he looking at the camera or the photographer? Seriously, he’s smiling so sweetly.” Kett teased, “Try smiling like that at someone else’s camera, there’d be people fainting all over the place.” “I’m embarrassed for Ter.” I said, “He’s not smiling at the camera but at the photographer, damn, it’s so embarrassing.” I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed remembering when Phii Hill was courting Ter in public. It made me really shy back then.

“It’s a shame Phii Joe isn’t walking. Otherwise, there’d be someone else following him around with a camera.” Kyu teased. I immediately turned to look at him, then the screams continued as Phii Fah walked by, holding a banner with a female senior. I couldn’t quite see what was on the banner.

“Phii Fah is also handsome, damn.” Skater remarked, “Are they choosing partners based on looks now? Seriously?”

 

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