WHYARU, Chapter 26: END

   The deep blue sky contrasted with the vibrant sea. The weather in Krabi today was so perfect it reminded him of the person who bought him the ticket.

The person who didn’t come along this time.

   “This place is insanely beautiful, man. The hotel’s awesome, right by the sea too. I bet the rooms here cost way more than a couple thousand baht,” Zon rambled on, clearly thrilled about the hotel. “If I came here on my own, no way I could afford a fancy place like this. I’d probably be at that budget resort over there.”

“You talk too much. Shouldn’t we check in first? Maybe Fai booked us the most basic room in this hotel,” Saifah said.

“Even if it’s basic, I still think it’s gotta cost more than a couple thousand.”

Tutor shook his head at his two friends before heading to check in with the hotel staff. It took less than ten minutes for them to get to their rooms.

“Saifah!!! This room is gorgeous, so luxurious! No way you and I could afford something like this!” Zon’s voice echoed into the room as Tutor opened the balcony door. He was clearly beyond excited about staying in such a fancy place. “Look at this, Saifah! Our room’s right by the sea. A short walk and we’re at the hotel pool. This place has to be crazy expensive. We’re damn lucky to know someone like Phii Fai.”

Tutor couldn’t stop laughing at his friend’s antics. He sat on the balcony chair, gazing out at the deserted beach. Maybe it was the scorching sun, but most people chose to stay in the shade of their rooms.

The scene before him stirred a flood of nostalgic thoughts. He saw overlapping images of himself and Phii Fai from their previous beach trip.

They flashed through his mind like an old projector on repeat.

The image of his senior walking with him along the shore.

The moment when his senior carried him on his back after he got scratched by a seashell.

And the memory of their first kiss, when they said “I love you” to each other for the first time.

Every thought made him miss it all.

Miss it so much.

“Hey, Tor!” Zon’s shout snapped him out of his reverie. He looked at the smaller figure on the beach and nodded back. “Wanna go swim?”

“It’s hot, Zon. The sun’s blazing.”

“I’m going to the hotel pool. There’s a shaded area. You coming?”

“Nah, I’ll pass. You go ahead.”

“Suit yourself,” Zon said, turning to someone trailing behind.

“Yo, Saifah, hurry up, man! Always so slow!”

“You’re the one rushing too much. Honestly, wouldn’t it be better to wait till evening? It’s so hot, it’s giving me a headache.”

“Hot? I’m going to the shaded pool.”

“It’s still hot, Zon.”

“Fine, if you don’t wanna swim, don’t come. I’ll go by myself,” Zon said, his tone serious.

“You mad?” Saifah hurried to catch up, trying to appease the smaller guy.

“Not mad, just saying,” Tutor watched the scene and let out a faint smile. He knew Zon wasn’t really angry, but Saifah was the type to panic at the thought of his boyfriend being upset, rushing to make amends. It was funny, really—Saifah, who never used to care about stuff like this, would do anything for Zon without questioning whether it made sense.

Tutor gave a faint smile at the sight before standing up and heading back into the room. The cool air from the AC easily washed away the heat from sitting outside.

He flopped onto the soft bed, letting gravity take over, his large eyes slowly closing.

   He couldn’t deny that seeing Saifah and Zon so happy made him think of himself and Phii Fai. Did he envy them? Honestly, without hiding it—yes.

   He envied the love between those two, unhindered by any obstacles.

   He envied why, when it came to matters like this, he was the only one left hurting.

   Why did it always have to be him?

   Tutor raised one hand to cover his eyes, exhausted. All this time, he’d been fighting to endure the pain, but no matter how hard he tried, he was always the one who lost.

Tutor didn’t cry. He was too tired to let tears spill out for no reason anymore.

All he could do now was keep fighting, even knowing the outcome would be the same defeat.

“If everything really is like a novel, as Zon said, then why does the pain feel so real? Why… why does it have to be like this?”

 

8:54 PM

   Tutor couldn’t remember how long he’d been asleep. When he woke, the once-bright sky had turned to night. He fumbled for his phone and turned on the bedside lamp to check messages from Zon, sent just a few hours ago.

Almost nine already? Slept that long again?

 

   Zon: Yo, Tor, I was yelling for you forever. 

   You didn’t open the door, so I figured you were asleep. 

   

   Zon: Just letting you know we already ate. The kitchen here closes at 9. 

   If you wake up too late, grab the instant noodle cup I left at your door. 

   I hung it there for you. There’s hot water in the room already. 

   But if you sleep through, catch you in the morning, buddy. 

   

   Zon: Sweet dreams, man.

  

Tutor read the long string of messages from Zon and couldn’t help but smile faintly. He wondered if those two were already asleep, since the messages were sent around 5 or 6 PM. In the end, Tutor got up to open his room’s door to grab the noodle cup Zon left for him. But when he opened the door, the sight before him made his steady heartbeat falter again.

It wasn’t just Tutor who looked shocked. The person about to knock on the door was equally startled, clearly not expecting Tutor to open it right then.

Their eyes met, gazing at each other with feelings that went beyond mere longing. Tutor didn’t know how to describe the emotions surging in his chest—full of pent-up feelings, joy, and, deep down, a lingering worry.

“Hey,” came the simple greeting from the older man. That single word broke the dam holding back Tutor’s tears. The figure in front of him blurred as his vision clouded, and his trembling voice could barely manage to call out the name, beyond his control.

“Phii… Fai.”

“Yes,” Fighter barely had time to say more before the smaller figure threw himself into his arms. He hugged Fighter tightly, as if afraid this was just an afternoon dream, terrified that when he woke up, there’d be no one named Fighter there.

“Phii Fai.”

“It’s me,” Fighter replied. His large hand gently stroked Tutor’s head. The taller man held the other so close he sank into his chest. Neither spoke; only the long, lingering embrace conveyed the depth of their longing.

“Why’s your body so warm? Are you sick?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you stay out in the sun?”

“Yeah, but just for a bit. I was on the balcony for less than an hour.”

“You get sick so easily these days.”

“Probably from lack of rest. My body’s just more prone to it,” Tutor said.

“If you know that, no more staying up all night, got it?”

“…”

“Did you hear me?”

“I can’t promise that, Phii Fai,” the younger one mumbled, reaching for the cup of instant noodles by the door. He led Fighter into the room, placed the noodle cup on the table, and sat on the bed, his eyes following Fighter as he dragged a bag inside.

“Why can’t you promise?” Fighter asked again after setting the bag at the foot of the bed. He walked over to stand in front of Tutor, lifting a hand to gently caress his cheek in the way he liked.

“Because I don’t know when I’ll have to work or do homework late into the night. So I can’t promise.”

“Why so stubborn?”

“I’m not stubborn,” the younger one said, looking up at Fighter, who was leaning down toward him. Cool lips pressed a tender kiss against his.

“I missed you,” Fighter said first.

“Me too.”

“So much.”

“So much, same,” Tutor replied. With that, the older one gave a fiery kiss, their lips clashing passionately after weeks apart. Beyond the longing poured into it, there was something more, something deeper. “Mmph, stop for a sec.”

Tutor pushed against Fighter, who was trailing kisses along his pulse points, from his lips down to his neck. A sharp sting flared where Fighter lightly nipped the crook of his neck, but it didn’t stop him. He continued kissing across Tutor’s chest, up to his ear, a hoarse whisper echoing as if to emphasize he wanted more.

“Phii Fai, uh, stop for a sec.”

“Why?” Fighter asked, his lips still trailing messy kisses. His large hand, about to slip under the shirt, was rubbing gently as he pleased, but Tutor grabbed it first. He shot a stern look at the taller guy, as if to say, Enough already. Seeing this, Fighter could only pout cutely, like he was pleading. “I miss you.”

“Miss me? Can you wait a bit? I want to talk first.”

“Can’t we kiss first and talk later?”

“No.”

“So harsh.”

“Phii Fai,” Tutor’s tone turned serious, making Fighter playfully nip at the younger’s lower lip in mock frustration.

“Alright, fine, I give in,” Fighter said, running a hand through his dark hair and sitting up properly. He looked at the person in front of him, who also sat up.

As Tutor sat there, his features reflected in Fighter’s eyes. Fighter couldn’t deny how perfectly everything about Tutor suited him—those eyes, that nose, those red lips, even the stubborn expression glaring at him now. It was all like chains binding Fighter’s wrists, keeping him from ever breaking free.

“Do you have something to tell me, Phii?”

“You’re the one hiding something and not telling me, aren’t you?” Tutor, scolded, could only press his lips into a tight line. “Some things, you can’t just decide on your own, you know that, right, Tor?”

“…”

“One of those things is about my Dad.”

“I just didn’t want you to fight with him.”

“But by not telling me, it made things worse between me and him.”

“Sorry.” The remorseful tone softened Fighter’s heart instantly, but today he had to be firm, to make things clear. He wanted Tutor to understand that talking things out could solve problems better than deciding alone.

And the decision Tutor made was the wrong one.

That’s why Fighter was upset.

He was upset, but it never lasted long. One look at Tutor’s face, and his heart was already half-melted.

“I know, Tor, that when you promise something, you’ll do everything to keep it. And I’ve always known how important family is to you. But when it comes to things involving me, you have to talk to me first, no matter what. No deciding on your own, got it?”

“Got it,” Tutor nodded, guilt evident in his expression. “But how did you find out, Phii Fai?”

“Zon told me.”

“…”

“And don’t go getting mad at your friend either. If they hadn’t told me, I’d never have heard this from you,” Fighter said, his voice tinged with anger again. Tutor couldn’t help but reach out, grab his senior’s hand, and squeeze it tightly.

“Sorry.” It was a mix of wanting to apologize and wanting Fighter to know how guilty he felt.

“Forget it.”

“So… what did your dad say?”

“He didn’t say much. In the end, I’m the one who chooses. He can’t control who I am or how I feel, Tor. My happiness is my choice,” Fighter said, recalling the earlier conversation with his father.

Honestly, after finding out, Fighter had tried to talk to his dad repeatedly. But his father kept brushing him off, and with midterm exams happening at the same time, plus a pile of company work his dad dumped on him, he was too busy to have a proper, serious talk.

Fighter was always ready to tackle the work his father threw at him, but he also wanted to sort out personal matters with him.

He wanted to tell his dad that he couldn’t keep doing this. But it took a whole week before he could finally have that conversation.

“Dad!! Why did you have to do this to me and Tutor?”

   “I just want what’s best for you, Fai.”

“Tutor is one of the best things in my life. He fills a void in me that no one else ever has.”

“But it’s not right, Fai.”

“Who decides what’s right or wrong, Dad? Society’s standards? Your opinions? Because what I know is that I love Tutor, and that’s what’s right for me.”

“Fai…”

“You know how much I’ve done for you. Like when I talked to Hwahwa, I saw you liked her. I tried to please you by bringing her around often, introducing her, even though I didn’t realize back then that doing so was indirectly hurting everyone—

Hwahwa, you, and me. Because in the end, even if I wasn’t sure about my feelings for Tutor, Hwahwa and I were never going to work out.”

“If not her, then someone else. What about Nong Fang, the one you met?”

“No one else, Dad. Just Tutor. I’ll give in to you on everything else, but not on this.”

“Fai…”

“I don’t expect you to understand me right now, Dad. But I believe one day you will—understand both of us.”

“Fai!!!”

“Tutor is a good person, Dad. If you got to know the real him, you’d love him like I do. I can wait, wait until you open your heart to us.”

  

Their love right now wasn’t the perfect ending his father would accept. It might just be the beginning, facing its first hurdle. But at least Fighter believed that if he and Tutor held on tightly to each other, no matter what obstacles or problems came their way, they could overcome them together.

And even if they couldn’t make it through, the fact that they held on so tightly would show they’d given it their all. They’d never regret it.

“Is this okay, Fai?” Tutor asked, his face full of worry.

“It’s the best, Tor. Trust me, in the end, Dad will love you like

I do. It just takes time.”

“…”

“Why so quiet? Embarrassed because I said I love you just now?”

“Not at all.”

“But your face is red.”

“That’s because I have a fever.”

“Is that so?” A teasing glint appeared in Fighter’s eyes, paired with an infuriating smirk. He raised his hand, placed it on Tutor’s head, and gently ruffled it. “Promise me, if something happens again, you’ll tell me. Don’t make decisions on your own like this.”

“…”

“Promise me, your Phii.”

“Okay, Tor promises.”

“Good boy,” Fighter said, pressing a kiss to Tutor’s eyelid as if sealing the promise there. “But now, this good boy’s about to get punished.”

“Phii Fai!”

“You’re only allowed to call me that when you’re moaning my name.”

“Phii, ugh… mmph.” A longing kiss slipped into Tutor’s mouth. He lost count of how many times they kissed, but each one felt like a connection that never faded.

It wasn’t the happiest moment, but Tutor believed they’d get through it in the end. For now, just the two of them was enough.    Thud!

A loud crash jolted someone on the bed awake. Fighter looked toward the dark shadow at the foot of the bed, only to see another person turn to him with an apologetic expression.

“Sorry for waking you, Phii. I’m just hungry.”

“Haha!”

“Not funny, man. I’m starving, Phii Fai.”

“Alright, alright, not funny then,” Fighter said, getting up to put on his shirt and walking over to Tutor. “Wanna go grab something to eat outside? We could borrow the hotel’s motorbike. It’s probably not too far.”

“It’s two in the morning, Phii Fai. I’m too lazy to walk or ride. Let’s just eat the cup noodles for now. Want some? I’ll heat up another one for you.”

“Nah.”

“Don’t steal mine, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t,” Fighter said, placing his heavy hand on Tutor’s head and giving it a light push. He turned on the room’s lights before sitting on the couch to watch TV. Tutor, after pouring hot water into the cup noodles, came over and sat beside him.

Neither of them spoke. They just watched a movie in silence while Tutor finished his noodles.

“Headache gone yet?”

“It’s gone,” Tutor said, setting the empty noodle cup on the table in front of them.

“Let me check.” Fighter turned to face Tutor, reaching out to feel his forehead as if checking for a fever. “Still a bit warm.”

“Not warm anymore.”

“Arguing again?”

“It’s true, though.”

“No playing in the water tomorrow, Tor.”

“…”

“Don’t give me that look. I said rest, so you rest. Got it?”

“You should rest too, Phii.”

“Rest from what?” Fighter’s brows furrowed when Tutor told him to rest.

“You know what I mean. Take a break, man. It’s been two days already. No more of ‘that’ tomorrow, okay?”

“No way.”

“Yes way. I’m not feeling well.”

“Now you’re quick to use that excuse, huh, you stubborn brat,” Fighter said, playfully shoving Tutor’s head.

“I’m not stubborn. And that promise you made about letting me be the top—remember that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“When do I get to be the top?”

“How confident are you that you even know how?”

“You sure?”

Wait till I teach you so well you can’t forget. Then I’ll let you have your way,” Tutor smirked, looking amused. Honestly, Fighter didn’t mind if the kid wanted to take charge—after all, it was still love. No matter the form, as long as love came first, that was enough.

But somehow, Fighter was over a hundred percent sure that when the time came, the kid wouldn’t stand a chance. Not when he had him so enchanted by every touch.

“Tor.”

“What?” The kid turned from the TV to look at him.

“I’m so damn happy.”

“Me too.”

“A lot?”

“A lot… the most.” Fighter smiled, resting his chin on Tutor’s shoulder.

“Tutor.”

“What now?” Tutor glanced at the big puppy clinging to him, reaching out to ruffle his hair roughly in mock annoyance.

“I love you, Tor.”

“I love you too.”

“Damn, Phii Fai!” The smallest in the group, Zon, let out a shocked exclamation, eyes wide before he turned to shake

Saifah’s arm vigorously. “Look, Phii Fai’s here!”

“Yeah, I see him.”

“So Zol’s novel was bullshit, huh?”

“Why don’t you get Zol’s stories out of your head for once, Zon? You’re giving me a damn headache,” Saifah shook his head lightly at his boyfriend before looking up at Tutor and Fighter walking toward them.

“Hey, Phii Fai,” both Saifah and Zon raised their hands to greet the oldest.

“Yo.”

“You showed up without telling us, Phii,” Zon said.

“Got here in a rush, didn’t have time to say,” Fighter replied to

Zon. “Thanks a lot for that thing, Zon.”

“No need to thank me, Phii Fai. I’d been thinking for a while that I should tell you, even though Tor told me not to.”

“Yeah, next time something like this happens, let me know right away, Zon. I don’t know if the stubborn kid around here will keep his own promises.”

“I’ll keep them,” Tutor muttered.

“Hope you mean it,” Fighter teased, playfully tweaking Tutor’s nose, making Saifah and Zon, who were sitting nearby, blush on their behalf.

“We’re gonna grab some food. You guys want anything else, Zon?”

Nah, we’re almost full,” Tutor nodded lightly, nudging Fighter to go get breakfast together.

“Were you just blushing?”

“What? Shut up, Phii Fai.”

“Wanna make you blush more often.”

“Quiet, Fai. I’m hungry,” Tutor shook his head and went to scoop up the food he wanted. Fighter didn’t tease further and went off to get his own breakfast.

They ate together for a while before heading back to the room. Soon after, Zon came to drag them out for an island trip. It was a happiness that was reigniting after months.

   Laughter, smiles—everything filled a once-withered heart to the brim.

   This was true happiness.

   The joy of reconnecting with friendship, love, and Fighter.

   LOVE NEVER ENDS

    WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 24:

   “Are you full already?” the room’s owner asked, looking up at the person sitting across from him.

“But you’ve only eaten a few bites, Tor.”

“It’s bitter, Fai. I don’t want to eat anymore.”

“Ten more bites.”

The younger one fell silent.

“Tutor.”

“Five?” Tutor bargained, dropping from ten to five.

“No way.”

“Seven then?” Tutor pouted, his tone teasingly pleading, leaving Fighter flustered. It wasn’t the first time Tutor had acted like this with him, but this was the first time in weeks—since they hadn’t seen each other at all.

God, he missed him so much.

“Phii Fai.”

“Alright.”

“So, what’s the deal?”

“Umm, seven it is, but a big glass, okay?”

“Got it,” Tutor grumbled softly and started scooping porridge into his mouth again. Meanwhile, Fighter propped his chin on one hand, quietly watching the kid eat. He didn’t say anything, and the kid didn’t ask anything either—just sat there eating while Fighter watched, soaking in the sight of his face, which he hadn’t seen clearly in a month.

Honestly, if he was being real, Fighter missed the old days. The times when they were together, cramming for exams. Back then, they hadn’t admitted their feelings—whether it was liking or loving each other—but those were good times, moments of learning and understanding each other more. Even if it wasn’t years’ worth of time, the memories of those warm feelings still overflowed.

Those feelings never faded.

Not even once.

After finishing the meal, Fighter sent the sick kid to bed. He went to turn off the room’s lights, drew the blackout curtains, and returned to the small Japanese-style table to clear the porridge bowl for washing. But with every move, a pair of eyes followed him. In the end, he turned to look at the kid again.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” The one about to clear the bowl raised an eyebrow at the figure lying in bed, as if questioning. But instead of an answer, the kid just stayed silent, staring at him quietly. In the end, all Fighter could do was pull the white blanket up to the kid’s chest. “Go to sleep.”

“But I can’t sleep.”

“Want me to tell you a bedtime story or what?”

“Not funny, Phii Fai.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“…”

“Stop making that face and rest already. Do you know your eye bags are so dark you look like a panda?”

“I don’t look like one.”

“You do.”

“…” Tutor didn’t respond, just looked at him with a sulky expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Trying to get something out of me, huh?”

“I’m not.”

“Then get some rest,” Fighter said again, urging the person in front of him to lie down. He ruffled the sick boy’s hair and was about to go back to clean up the porridge bowl.

“Phii Fai,” a voice called out, accompanied by a small hand reaching to grab his.

“Yes?”

“Phii…” Tutor swallowed hard, unsure if it was the illness or the nervous excitement stirring inside him. “Can you… lie here with me for a bit?”

“…”

“But if you’re not okay with it… it’s fine,” Tutor added.

A soft sigh escaped Fighter. Tutor couldn’t tell if it was because his senior was annoyed at his plea to stay close.

“Tor.”

“…”

“Why would you think I’m not okay with it? Every single thing about you—I’m okay with all of it.”

“But I…”

“With this, I’m more than okay,” Fighter said, slipping under the same blanket as the younger one. The heat radiating from Tutor’s body hit his skin, making him feel like he might catch a fever himself.

Their faces were mere inches apart, close enough that he could feel the other’s breath. The looks they exchanged carried emotions that made their hearts race faster and faster.

Tutor’s hand lightly gripped his senior’s shirt. He licked his dry lips before pressing them together tightly.

“Phii Fai.”

“Yes?”

“I…” Tutor didn’t know how to stop his voice from trembling. Perhaps the overwhelming longing in his heart was too much to contain. “I mean, I; Tor… I want you to kiss me.”

“…”

“Is that okay… mmph—” His last words were swallowed by the soft touch of a kiss. Their warm tongues met with a desperate yearning, their eyes locking time and again, revealing just how much they craved each other.

Yes… it was a longing mixed with a yearning stronger than any other feeling they’d ever known.

“Ugh… Phii Fai,” Tutor flinched slightly as Fighter’s cool lips brushed against his skin. Both of his hands rose to wrap around his senior’s neck, as if inviting more than just a kiss. But Fighter didn’t rush.

He didn’t even push the younger one to go further than a kiss. Right now, all he did was follow his instinct to cherish and care for him.

…though clumsy, it was gentle, as if afraid of hurting the person in front of him. In the end, Fighter pressed kisses to Tutor’s eyelids, temple, and lips.

A long, lingering kiss on the lips before Fighter pulled back, his thumb gently brushing over the swollen, reddened lips in front of him.

“You’re definitely gonna catch my fever,” Tutor mumbled.

“Let it happen. When have I ever been scared?” Fighter replied.

They locked eyes again, the overwhelming emotions too much to put into words.

“Phii Fai,” Tutor called softly.

“Yes?”

“Can you give me more than a kiss?”

“H… huh?” Fighter’s voice faltered at the inviting tone, swallowing hard. “Tor…”

“Phii Fai, Tor wants to do more than this.”

“…”

“More than a kiss… can you?” Those small eyes looked up at the larger man, thin lips bitten by white teeth as if pleading.

Seeing Fighter hesitate, the sick man in front of him mustered his courage, leaning forward to press a kiss to the older man’s chin. His lips trailed down to Fighter’s neck, his ear, and back to his chin again.

And in the end, it was Tutor who climbed onto Fighter’s lap.

“Phii Fai,” he whispered.

“…”

“Make me yours.”

The guilt of not wanting to take advantage of a sick person was cast aside as Tutor began moving his hips. Fighter shifted, guiding the man who had been on his lap to lie flat on the bed.

“Phii…” A soft, breathless moan escaped, laced with sweat soaking their bodies. Small hands wrapped around Fighter’s neck, gripping tightly as they felt something building.

Their eyes locked, as if afraid the other might vanish at any moment.

Every moment, every second, was filled with longing, a tender sweetness they both craved. They gazed at each other as if silently confessing their love—a love they couldn’t voice.

A love they couldn’t speak to keep the other from being trapped.

Tutor couldn’t say it because of the promise he’d made to the father of the man before him, a promise that still echoed in his mind.

This feeling was so painful, yet within that pain, there was still a trace of happiness.

“Hic… Phii Fai.” The first time Fighter saw Tutor’s tears, he didn’t understand what they meant. Not until Tutor lifted his arms, wrapped them around his neck, and whispered something in his ear again.

In that moment, as Tutor whispered, Fighter realized what it was.

“I miss you, Phii …”

“…”

“I miss you… so much.”

Fighter understood then that Tutor was hurting too.

Tutor was in pain from the longing he felt for him, so much that his tears came with sobs. No matter how much Fighter tried to comfort him, in the end, he could only let Tutor’s tears flow until they ran dry.

Even now, Fighter still didn’t understand why Tutor had asked him to let go back then. If Tutor was this heartbroken, what was the reason he walked away?

What made Tutor decide to do that?

…

The sunlight streaming into the room was bright enough to stir someone from their sleep, pulling them out of their dreams.

Tutor squinted at the clock on the bedside table before closing his eyes again.

Past noon already. This was the first time in weeks he’d slept so long, probably because his body, deprived of rest for so long, had finally given in without him realizing.

Tutor dozed off for almost another hour before groggily sitting up. He rubbed his eyes lightly, then looked around the silent room. No one was there. Not even the shadow of yesterday’s guest remained. Fighter was gone, leaving only the crumpled bedsheets and a lingering warmth beside him. Tutor didn’t know where Phii Fai had gone—maybe he’d left for good, or maybe, a small part of him hoped, he’d just stepped out to grab something to eat.

Deep down, Tutor still hoped Fighter would stay, even if just for one more day before letting go again.

He admitted he was confused. Was it okay that things had turned out this way? In the end, he might have to rebuild those walls, no matter how cracked they already were.

But another part of him didn’t want to build those walls again. His bloodied hands no longer had the strength to stack bricks or plaster cement. The pain was too much for both his hands and his heart to bear.

Brrt, brrt.

The phone on the bedside table vibrated softly. Tutor picked it up and saw a Line message from the person he’d been with last night. His heart raced again. He took a moment to brace himself before opening Fai’s message.

 

   Fighter: Tor 

 

      Fighter: I remember you wanted to go to the beach again. 

   Truth is, I’ve had tickets and a hotel booked for us for a while now.

   But I never got the chance to make it happen. This time, after the midterms, go with Zon and Saifah, okay?

   

   Fighter: I want you to have fun on this trip.

   Because it’s the gift I want to give you for my birthday.

   Even if I’m not there with you, I still want you to enjoy it.

   Have fun, alright?

   

   Fighter: And about what you asked of me, I promise I’ll stick to it, same as before. Don’t worry.

  

Tutor finished reading Fighter’s message. He collapsed onto the bed, exhausted, setting his phone down beside him as if waiting for another LINE message to come through.

But none came.

Tutor closed his eyes. He let the tears flow freely, no longer holding them back, because in the end, he just had to accept it.

Accept the choices he’d made from the start.

Chose… to let Phii Fai let go.

Chose… to let Phii Fai keep his promise.

Even if it hurt in the end, he had to accept his own decisions and move forward… without that other person.

…

The midterm exam season was almost over. Many faculties had finished, but some still had exams today, with tomorrow being the last day. During this exam season, many students pulled all-nighters just to keep up with their studies. Tutor was one of them, except he was also tutoring Day, Saifah, and other friends from his faculty.

It was a tough time. Even though some things stirred up feelings and made him miss someone, he constantly reminded himself that studies came first. In the end, when he got through it, he felt glad every time he could set certain things aside and focus on others, even if not entirely.

Since that day he was unwell, Tutor hadn’t seen Phii Fai at all. Maybe because most fourth-year students only had a few classes left, their schedules just didn’t align. As for Phii Fai, besides his other subjects, he had to take an extra fourth-year course. Tutor didn’t know how he was doing in this exam round or if the tutoring from before had sunk in at all.

He felt both worried and missed him, wanting to see his face, but it seemed like nothing was going his way.

In the end, he had to let it go. After all, it was Tutor himself who’d set the promise for Phii Fai. So it wasn’t wrong at all if he kept the promise he’d made.

And the one hurting from their own actions just had to bear it and keep going.

“Hey, Tor, where you headed after the exams?”

“The library. I’m gonna print the journal I finished translating.”

“So, you’re not doing your part-time job at the shop anymore?”

“Yeah, it’s exam season, so I took a break from work.

Planning to finish typing this up today to send to Phii Tum,” Day nodded in understanding. He looked at his friend and smiled.

Honestly, Day felt a bit relieved seeing Tutor’s condition improve. It wasn’t a complete recovery, but Day could sense that Tutor was starting to accept certain things.

Even though Tutor still had moments of sadness, it seemed like he was coming to terms with the consequences of his actions. Day didn’t know how much his friend blamed himself or how much it hurt him to be in this situation.

But seeing Tutor act like someone trying to move forward, Day didn’t want to pry too much.

“Alright, I’m off then. Got a date with Hwa to catch a movie. See ya, Tor, Saifah.”

“Yeah, see you,” Tutor nodded lightly, waving goodbye to his friend as he left. “What about you, Saifah? Where you headed?”

“I’ve got one more exam. After that, I’ll probably meet up with Zon.”

“Oh, right. I actually have something to talk about with you and Zon.”

“Can we talk this evening? I gotta rush to another building for the exam. I’ll let Zon know too.”

“Okay, cool. Good luck with the exam!”

“Thanks, man,” Saifah said before hurrying off to the other building. Meanwhile, Tutor strolled leisurely to the library. He sat down to work on translating documents for Phii Tum, taking a break halfway through to rest his eyes by looking into the distance.

What he saw was Zon walking into the bathroom, looking flustered, as if something was bothering him. Tutor wasn’t sure what was wrong, but it seemed concerning, and he couldn’t help but wonder.

In the end, he got up from his seat and followed Zon into the bathroom.

“Zon.”

“Whoa!” The smaller guy’s startled voice echoed. “You scared the hell out of me, sneaking up like that!”

“Wasn’t my calling you just now loud enough?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine, it was loud. So, what’s up? Why’d you follow me? Or are you just here to use the bathroom?”

“I followed you, actually. Got something to talk about.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a long story. Let’s talk this evening. By the way, are you free?”

“Yeah, I’m free,” Zon nodded. “But, uh, you and Phii Fai…”

“…”

“Alright, whatever. Let’s meet up tonight instead,” Zon said, giving Tutor a light pat on the shoulder before walking out of the bathroom with an odd demeanor. Tutor watched, curious, but ultimately decided to let it go. If Zon wanted to talk, he’d probably open up on his own.

Or so he thought.

    

   5:45 PM

   “Want to order anything else, Tor?” Zon asked.

“Nah, I’ll just have the same as you,” Tutor replied.

“Cool, we’ll go with this then,” Zon said, handing the menu back to the waiter before turning to Tutor again. “So, got anything to talk about?”

“Well, Phii Fai sent me plane tickets and accommodation for Krabi. He wants us to go on a trip together.” Normally, Tutor would’ve turned down something like this, but this time he agreed—maybe because deep down, he still hoped to see Phii Fai there.

“What’s the occasion?” Zon asked.

“His birthday.”

“So, he’s coming with us too, right?”

“I don’t know,” Tutor admitted. After he spoke, Zon and Saifah exchanged glances, both sensing something off. Zon couldn’t help but think of what his younger sister, Zol, had said.

 

   It’s not like when I deleted my novel, your story disappeared too.

 

   Come on, Zol, this is real life, not some fantasy.

 

   I know, but honestly, I’m kinda bummed. Everyone loved the ending of my novel.

 

   How’d it end?

 

   Well, one couple got their happy ending, but the other didn’t.

 

   Which couple got the happy ending, and which one didn’t?

 

   You don’t wanna know, Phii Zon. Because if one couple gets their happy ending, the other has to lose out.

 

Could it really be like Zol said?

Zon looked at Tutor with concern, unsure if he was overthinking things. But with all the chaos in his life, too many parts of it lined up with Sol’s novel.

“Why’re you looking at me like that, Zon?” Tutor asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just remembered—when Phii Fai asked for my personal info, it must’ve been to buy these plane tickets.”

“Did he call you too, Zon?”

“Yeah,” Zon answered Tutor, then glanced at Saifah sitting beside him, as if asking whether he should share certain details. When Saifah shook his head, Zon let out a soft sigh. He understood that telling Tutor that Phii Fai already knew about that would only make him more anxious.

From what Zon knew about Tutor, the guy valued family above all else. If Phii Fai could get Tutor’s father to accept him, that’d be great.

But if not… they’d just have to let it go.

“Did he say anything about me?” Tutor asked.

“Not much,” Zon replied.

“Is that so?” Tutor’s voice was so faint it made the person across from him feel guilty. “So, are you and Saifah going?”

“We’re going. But the thing is, Phii Fai’s not gonna come after me and Saifah for the money later, right?”

“Nah, if he’s giving it, it’s for real.”

“Alright, we’re in then.”

“Free stuff, and you’re quick to jump,” Saifah teased, giving Zon’s head a playful shove.

“Free stuff, and you’re quick to jump,” Saifah teased, shoving Zon’s head lightly.

“I’m not! I’m just worried about our friend. I want Tor to get some rest.”

“Everyone’s here, right?”

“Yeah,” Zon grinned at Saifah with a cute expression, prompting the taller guy to ruffle his hair. Tutor smiled at the scene before letting out a soft sigh, which made the two who were just teasing each other feel a pang of guilt.

“But who knows, Tor, maybe Phii Fai will show up,” Saifah said.

“How could that happen, Saifah? Zol said it already—if one couple gets their happy ending, the other one’s bound to be disappointed.”

“Stop mixing novels with real life, Zon.”

“It’s true, man! You and me, Tor and Phii Fai—it’s just like what Zol writes. Since we got our happy ending, the one that’s disappointed is probably…” Zon was about to continue, but Saifah shot him a stern look and nodded toward Tutor. In the end, Zon chose to stay quiet.

“Your order’s here,” the waiter arrived just in time to break the awkward atmosphere. Zon handed Tutor his food before sorting out his own order. The laughter and playful teasing from Saifah and Zon brought a faint smile to Tutor’s face.

Even if the sight of the two in front of him overlapped with the longing he felt for Phii Fai.

   If one couple gets their happy ending, does that mean the other has to be disappointed?

   Maybe, just maybe, what Zon said was true.

   Because he might really have fallen into one of Zol’s novels.

           WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 22:

   “Still not done translating?”

“Not yet.”

“I think you should skip the extra work today, Tor. Finish this and go rest at the dorm. You look like you haven’t slept at all.”

“I’m fine, Day,” Tutor looked up, answering Day’s concerned tone.

“You’re so damn stubborn. You never listen.”

“…”

“Scold you, and you go quiet. Did I mess up or what by taking on extra translation work for you? I thought it’d help cut down on your evening side jobs, but you’re doing everything—side jobs, translations, journals. Aren’t you overdoing it, Tor?” Day grumbled, clearly frustrated. He was the one who recommended Tutor to a senior in the science faculty looking for someone to translate journals.

“It’s good to take on more. Keeps me busy. I even took on another journal from your friend’s contact.”

“What?!”

“I said I took on another journal. Phii Tam will bring the documents later.”

“He brought it himself?”

“Yeah, my senior printed it out for us.”

“I swear, that Tum guy is getting weirder by the day,” Day muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

“What’d you say, Day?”

“Nothing, I’m just annoyed at you.”

“Huh? Annoyed why? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Wrong! Everything you do is wrong. Like those extra documents you took from Tum—that’s wrong. You know the

stuff he gave you to translate isn’t easy, right? All that scientific jargon is crazy hard. Why’d you take on more work? What if you can’t finish it in time?”

“I’ll manage.”

“If you can’t, cut back on the side jobs.”

“No way. One of Phii Kae’s staff quit, so I have to help out at both his place and Sis Fai’s.”

“God, I’m so done with goody-two-shoes like you. When are you gonna stop being so stubborn?”

“Sorry.” Tutor’s voice came with a guilty expression, leaving his friend momentarily speechless.

“Fine, whatever. Since you already promised them, with the side jobs and the translations, if anything’s too much, just tell us. We’ll help.”

“Thanks, Day.”

“So, you just gonna keep sitting here?”

“Yeah, I’ll head out for my side job around 5:30. Honestly, Day, you can go home if you want. You don’t have to wait for me. There’s no more class.”

“Nah, I’ll pick up Hwa from her faculty and swing by here after.”

“Oh?”

“Wanna come with? We can grab some food. Stretch your legs a bit instead of moping around here.” Day tried to coax his friend to take a break, seeing the stressed and exhausted look on his face. It was hard not to feel sorry for him.

Tutor worked evening shifts every day, coming back late every night, and now he was taking on extra translation jobs for journals without a thought for his own health. Sometimes, Day wanted to shake him hard and yell, Enough already, Tor! It’s been weeks! When are you going to stop doing this to yourself?!

But in the end, Day couldn’t do it. He knew Tutor was only keeping himself busy to avoid having free time—to avoid thinking about someone who had hurt him deeply.

Believe it or not, Day still remembered that day vividly. The day he and Hwahwa went to find Tutor and saw him crying his heart out, like his world had collapsed. The pain and torment were as if the whole world had come crashing down in front of him. His repeated apologies, mumbled over and over, couldn’t compare to the endless stream of tears flowing down his face.

Day had never seen Tutor cry that hard before, not even once. Neither had Hwahwa. Even when his family went bankrupt or when he couldn’t find a job, Tutor hadn’t been like this.

In the end, all he and Hwahwa could do was comfort him.

Comfort him in the only ways they knew how.

But one strange thing was that after that day—the day Tutor let Phii Fai walk away—Day never saw his friend’s tears again. He didn’t know if Tutor was crying alone in secret. When he asked his close friend Hwahwa, she replied with a worried tone that she didn’t think so. No matter how much pain he was in, Hwahwa believed Tutor would keep all his feelings locked inside and put on a strong front instead.

And that’s exactly why both he and Hwahwa were so worried about Tutor. They feared that the balloon of his fractured emotions, being filled with more and more pressure, might burst again at any moment.

Sometimes, they wished he’d cry just one or two more times. Crying might show weakness and sadness, but at least it would release some of those awful feelings.

“What’s the plan? Sitting there all mopey. Are we going together or not? If we are, get up.”

“Nah.”

“What?”

“Too lazy to walk. Just grab me a water and a couple of snacks instead, Day.”

“Man, you… If you don’t wanna walk, just go sleep.” Day snatched Tutor’s glasses off his face and stuffed them into his shop jacket pocket.

“Hey, Day!”

“Take a break. You can keep translating when I get back.”    “But…”

“Rest.” Day pressed his friend’s head down onto the table.

“Close your eyes.”

“…”

“Now.”

“Alright, alright, I get it.”

Day shook his head before ruffling his friend’s hair, making sure Tutor had actually closed his eyes.

A sigh echoed alongside the sound of fading footsteps. Tutor opened his eyes at that moment, letting out a weary breath. His vision wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t see the papers in front of him, but his glasses made the text much clearer. If only he’d worn contact lenses instead.

“Tor.” A voice from behind made Tutor turn around.

“Oh, hey, Phii Tum. Hi.”

“You look kinda pale, man.”

“I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

“Seriously, you don’t have to push yourself so hard, Tor. If you can’t finish the translation in time, just let me know,” said Phii Tum.

“It’s fine, Phii Tum. By the way, did you bring the documents?”

“I did, here they are.” Tum handed over the documents in a paper bag to Tutor. “There you go.”

“Thanks, Phii Tum, for going out of your way to print them for me. Normally, no one does that.”

“No big deal. You don’t have a printer, do you, Tor?”

“Still, I owe you one, Phii Tum. I’ll try to get the translation done before the middle of next month.”

“No need to rush, Tor. Just do what you can. But if it looks like you won’t make it, let me know two weeks in advance, okay? My friends and I need to submit to the professor by the end of next month.”

“By then, I’ll probably have it done, Phii Tum.”

“I bet you will.” Tum’s heavy hand rested affectionately on Tutor’s head, but the latter instinctively tilted his head to dodge, causing Tum to pull his hand back. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“…”

“…”

“Well, I won’t bother you anymore then. Let’s grab a meal sometime when you’re free, Tor.”

“If I’m free, sure.” Tum nodded awkwardly, knowing full well that even if Tutor had time, he might not agree to go out with him.

“Alright. If you have any questions, just LINE me anytime, Tor.” Tutor nodded, flashing a smile at his senior from the Faculty of Science. Tum walked away, while Tutor turned back to focus on reviewing the documents he’d just received.

But he didn’t get far. Maybe because he wasn’t wearing his glasses, he soon closed his eyes and slumped onto his pale forearms.

The heavy exhaustion in his eyes stemmed from not resting properly for a long time. Tutor admitted to himself that he’d been overworking like never before.

The journal translations, combined with his evening side jobs, helped him forget certain things, even if just for a short while. It was better than returning to his room, where memories of a certain someone overwhelmed him.

Those memories were so abundant that he wanted to curse himself for letting that person into his space so deeply. But no matter how much he scolded himself, it was pointless. If he could turn back time, Tutor knew he’d do the same thing all over again.

He’d let that person walk into his life just the same. And knowing how it all ended, he’d probably try to slow things down, to hold onto every memory even more than he already had.

Tutor couldn’t deny that the arrival of that certain someone was the most beautiful thing in his life.

But that beauty was now slowly breaking his heart. Whether it was the longing that gnawed at his heart, leaving it hollow, or the guilt for what he’d done to that person, causing him to suffer like this.

Tutor was trapped by feelings of guilt. He built a wall around his twisted heart.

A wall that kept anyone from breaking through, a wall that constantly reminded him of the wrongs he’d done, unable to move past them. Never able to.

‘Tutor’

   In his dream, Tutor saw someone sitting beside him.

‘Tor,’ the voice calling him was the same as always, no different from the heavy hand that ruffled his hair—warm, gentle, and still the same touch that made his heart race every time.

‘Phii Fai’

   ‘Yes.’

   ‘I’m dreaming, aren’t I?’ A dream Tutor didn’t want to wake from just yet, a dream that made him want to sleep a little longer. Even if it was just a dream, it was still good.

“Tor”

“…”

“Tutor,” the owner of the name slowly opened his eyes again. He looked at the person sitting beside him before rubbing his blurry eyes to shake off the drowsiness.

“Hwa?”

“Yeah, it’s Hwa.”

“Sorry, I overslept a bit. When did you get here?”

“A while ago. I saw you sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you. But Day said you’ve got work this evening, and it’s almost time, so I woke you.”

“Oh.”

“So, are you still going to work?”

“Yeah, the shop’s short-staffed. I’ve got to help out.”

“I think he is just being stubborn.”

“Come on, Day, if he wants to go, let him,” Hwahwa and Day bickered for a bit before Day handed back the glasses to their owner. Tutor put them on, gathering the documents and items in front of him into his bag.

“Whose jacket is this, anyway?” Day glanced at the shop jacket draped over Tutor’s shoulder, and Tutor looked at it too. “I remember you didn’t bring a jacket when you left, right?”

“Yeah… I didn’t bring it,” Tutor replied softly. His mind drifted to the dream from less than an hour ago—a dream that might, just maybe, have been real.

“What’s wrong with you, huh?”

“Nothing, nothing. Let’s hurry and get to work.” Tutor stood up, slinging a shop shirt over his arm.

“Whose jacket is that, anyway?”

“Oh… it’s mine. I lent it to a third-year last time, and they probably just returned it.”

“You sure about that, Tor?” Day asked.

“Enough, Day. If Tor says it’s the third-year’s, then it’s the third-year’s,” Hwahwa scolded her boyfriend, not wanting to pester Tutor and make him uncomfortable.

“Alright, alright,” Day gave in, though he was still suspicious but didn’t want to push further.

“If there’s nothing else, I’m heading out. Don’t want to be late for work.”

“Okay, work hard, Tor. If it’s too much, go rest,” the owner nodded to Hwahwa before walking out.

“Don’t ask stuff like that again, Day,” Hwahwa reprimanded him once more.

“I get it, I get it. I’m just annoyed that he won’t admit whose shirt it is, even though he knows damn well.”

Yeah… Day wasn’t wrong. The jacket didn’t belong to a thirdyear. It belonged to someone else, someone Tutor remembered clearly. The size of the shirt, the faint scent of signature cologne—it was unmistakable.

Phii Fai… it’s yours, isn’t it?

   You are the one who gave me this shirt.

   The racing heartbeat from realizing whose shirt it was hadn’t faded. It was mixed with so many emotions, ones he couldn’t even explain.

   One of them was the pain of knowing he’d handed someone that knife himself.

   Unable to bear the feeling, Tutor sank to the floor. He closed his eyes slowly, his mind replaying thoughts of that someone over and over.

   “Phii Fai… I hurt you so much. Why are you still kind to me? sob Why did you do this?”

   Can’t you just let me go?

   Can’t you let me be the bad guy, let me suffer alone for what I did to you, Phii Fai?

   Stop being kind to me. Please, stop being kind to me.

   Because I…

   I was never kind to you.

   Not even a little…

   …

Amid the scorching heat, expected to reach nearly forty degrees, the crowd cheering for the football match didn’t dwindle in the slightest. Tutor was dragged by his close friends, Hwahwa and Day, to watch the game. Though he initially refused, they managed to pull him along anyway.

“It’s so hot, Day, and there are tons of people too,” Tutor complained.

“Well, I told you we should’ve gone to watch a movie or hung out at the mall. Coming to a football match like this, you just have to deal with it,” Hwahwa retorted.

“But if we went to the mall or watched a movie, you wouldn’t have come with us,” Day countered. “If we didn’t practically force him out, he’d probably be holed up in the library until evening.”

“I have to finish translating some work,” Tutor said, catching the whining looks from his friends.

“But the client already said there’s no rush,” Day pointed out.

“True, but I want to finish it quickly in case more work comes in.”

“You’re taking on even more work?!” Day exclaimed.

“Mm-hmm.”

“You’re working like a maniac! Plowing through translations, taking on extra jobs—have you ever stopped to look at yourself? Do you see what you look like now? You’re a wreck, like a zombie! You barely sleep, your face is pale, you’ve lost whoknows-how-many kilos. Do you really think this is good for you, Tutor?” Day snapped, clearly frustrated. He was never okay with the state Tutor was in—his friend looked like someone who could collapse and end up in the hospital at any moment.

“Enough, Day,” Hwahwa interjected quickly. “The match is about to start. I’m thirsty—wanna go grab some drinks?”    “What do you want? I’ll go get it,” Tutor offered.

“You’re going, Tutor? Maybe Day should go instead,” Hwahwa suggested.

“It’s fine. I want to stretch my legs anyway,” Tutor replied. Hwahwa paused for a moment, glancing at Day as if seeking his opinion. When her boyfriend nodded, she turned back to Tutor.

“Alright, I’ll take a Coke then. What about you, Day?”

“Same as Hwahwa, a Coke. Thanks a lot, man.”

“Mm,” Tutor replied before heading down from the stands toward a nearby drink stall.

As Tutor descended from the stands, he passed by someone entering the field. Dew caught sight of Tutor, who looked shockingly worn out. The last time they met was when Tutor returned Fai’s jacket, and even then, he didn’t seem this bad.

Tutor looked so unwell that Dew couldn’t help but think of someone else—Fighter, his friend who could never let go of Tutor. All this time, Fighter had been searching for answers, trying to understand why Tutor chose to walk away like that. He questioned himself, his friends, and everyone around him about what caused it. In the end, the foolish Fighter could only blame himself.

Blaming himself for rushing the relationship with Tutor too much.

Blaming himself for confessing his love too soon, making Tutor feel uncomfortable enough to leave.

To be honest, Dew himself didn’t know where things between Fighter and Tutor would end up. But seeing his friend in such pain made it impossible not to worry. Deep down, he could only hope things would get better, at least enough for his friend to get back to doing what he used to do. That would be better than letting his life waste away like something already dead.

“Phii Dew,” someone much smaller than Dew approached him with a worried expression.

“What’re you scared of? Why the long face?”

“Do you think I can do it? I won’t be a burden to the team, right?”

“No way. Not a chance.” Dew gently patted Blue’s head, ruffling it as if to encourage him. He nudged Blue toward the team before pulling out his phone to type a Line message to his friend, mentioning that he’d seen Tutor at the soccer field.

 

   Deww: Fai, where you at? 

   

   Fighter: Faculty library. What’s up? 

   

   Deww: I saw the kid… Tutor. 

   

   Fighter: So? 

   

   Deww: Nothing, just saying I saw him. 

   

   Fighter: So what? He doesn’t want me around anyway. 

   

   Maybe he’s already got someone else.

  

Fighter still vividly remembered that time at the library. He’d seen Tutor talking with some guy. The sight made him so upset he wanted to storm over and ask if that was the reason Tutor had left him.

He was hurt, felt awful. He didn’t even know who that guy was.

Even though the look in Tutor’s eyes when he gazed at that guy was different from how he used to look at him, Fighter couldn’t help but feel resentful. His mind was flooded with questions, all boiling down to why.

Why did Tutor choose to walk away when it seemed like he still cared?

Why did he do that? Fighter didn’t understand.

He never understood.

 

   Deww: Fai, you know damn well, don’t you? 

   That guy isn’t like you. 

   Not like how Tutor was with you. 

   

   Fighter: So what, Dew? I had him, didn’t I? 

   But he still dumped me. 

   Because he doesn’t need me anymore, does he?

   

   Deww: Fai, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.

   This time, I’m just messaging to tell you I saw the kid.

   And he didn’t look too good today.

   Not sure if he’s sick or not. If you want to see for yourself, come on over.

   He’s at the football field right now.

   But if you don’t come, up to you. I’ve got a match starting soon.

  

Fighter finished reading the message and let out a slow sigh. His mind kept replaying the kid’s words, telling him to keep his promise.

The promise to let go.

The promise not to meddle, not to make things awkward for him.

But yeah… in the end, Fighter broke that promise. He broke it by lingering outside the kid’s dorm, by showing up at the shop even though it hurt that he couldn’t walk in, say hi, or talk like normal. Still, he went.

Especially that time he saw Tutor asleep in the library. He couldn’t hold himself back. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling, from touching the kid. He tried to slip back into Tutor’s orbit, even if he ended up getting pushed away like always.

Action equals reaction.

Because after that day he secretly saw the kid, the kid showed up at Dew’s with the shop jacket to return.

He came with words that still lingered in Fighter’s heart.

Words that never faded.

“Tell Phii Fai to stop bothering me, Dew… no more sneaking around to see me at the shop or the dorm.”

   Tutor didn’t know Fighter was hiding behind that pillar, hearing every cruel word from those small lips. But what could he do? He was already in love—loved in a way that he didn’t know how to erase the kid’s image from his mind.

Now, with Dew messaging that the kid might be sick, his heart wanted to go check on him one more time.

But he didn’t know. Didn’t know what he’d say if he saw Tutor face-to-face again.

Didn’t know if he could handle being pushed away again.

His heart wasn’t strong enough to take the pain of the one he loved saying they didn’t want him, right to his face.

Who could endure that?

…

“All done, 48 baht.”

“Here you go.” Tutor handed the money to the auntie at the drink stall, taking two Cokes in his hands. As he was about to head back to the football field, someone—Zon—bumped into him hard.

The two Coke cups in his hands slipped and fell to the ground.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.”

“I’ll buy new ones.” Tutor froze, the voice hitting him clearer than before.

When he looked up, the sight before him confirmed the identity of this person.

A person… not just from a dream.

Someone he hadn’t seen in who knows how long.

“It’s okay, I’ll buy them myself,” Tutor finally replied. He gave a faint smile before bending down to pick up the scattered cups and straws from the ground. But Fighter took them from his hands and threw them into the trash instead.

“Thanks,” Tutor could only manage to say. He didn’t dare meet the eyes of the person in front of him, perhaps because the sadness in Phii Fai’s gaze was more than his heart could bear.

“I’ll get going, then.”

The awkwardness building between them left him at a loss, and in the end, it was Tutor who spoke first, excusing himself.

“Wait.” Fighter reached out and grabbed his arm. The heat from Tutor’s body transferred to Fighter’s cool hand, making the taller man frown with concern. “You’re burning up, Tor.”

“It’s just the sun.”

“Look at your face before you say that. You’re pale as hell,” Fighter scolded, raising a hand to check Tutor’s forehead. The heat was unmistakable—Tutor was definitely sick. “Come to the infirmary with me.”

“No way.”

“Tor, I’m begging you, stop being stubborn.”

“…”

“Please.” The pleading tone was nothing compared to the pitiful look in Fighter’s eyes.

Who said Tutor was strong? Who claimed he could handle these feelings?

   In reality, just seeing Phii Fai’s face, meeting his eyes, and hearing a few words from him was enough to shatter the walls Tutor had built to protect certain emotions, leaving them in ruins.

   At that moment, Tutor realized that a gaze could truly kill. The look Phii Fai gave him was like a knife slowly slicing through the center of his heart.

   It wasn’t a look of disdain but one of desperate pleading, as if begging to stay by his side. Even if it wasn’t in the same role as before, it didn’t matter—just to stand beside him was enough.

   “Please, Tor.”

“Mm,” was all Tutor could manage, nodding at the older man. He followed Fighter’s gentle pull without resistance, thinking to himself that just this once would be enough.

Just this once, he’d follow his heart.

“Your fever’s pretty high,” the nurse said after checking the thermometer on the person sitting on the bed. “Can the person who came with you pick up the medicine for you?”

“Sure,” Fighter nodded and followed the nurse out. Tutor watched until the door closed, then let out a heavy sigh.

This feeling was awful. Tutor felt trapped in a maze with no way out. The air inside seemed to grow thinner, suffocating him, tormenting him until he wanted to climb out.

But Tutor couldn’t climb out. Maybe because he was scared— terrified—that the poison within him would destroy a family, one with a father and his only son.

It hurt.

It hurt so much. He’d decided to let go, but he couldn’t stop thinking about that person. Sometimes, he wondered if what he was doing was right, questioning himself over and over again if it was truly the best choice.

Because if it was the right path, why did both he and Fighter still feel such pain?

A pain so intense it felt like his heart might break.

Creak

The hospital room door opened, and Fighter returned, holding medicine and a glass of water. He walked over and sat on the bed beside Tutor, reaching up to check his fever again.

“Want me to wipe you down? Got a headache?”    “…” Tutor didn’t answer, just shook his head.

“Then take the medicine first.” Fighter handed him the pills.

“Here’s some water.”

Tutor swallowed the medicine and water, then handed the glass back. Fighter placed it on the bedside table before meeting Tutor’s eyes again.

Honestly, the look in Tutor’s eyes—Fighter didn’t want to assume what it meant. He didn’t want to guess if it reflected the same feelings he was grappling with.

Fighter didn’t want to get his hopes up, but in the end, he couldn’t help it.

His hand instinctively reached out to rest on Tutor’s head, gently stroking it as if to comfort him. A million words swirled in his mind, questions he wanted to ask: How have you been? Are you tired? Working too hard? Taking care of yourself? Getting any rest?

   Have you… ever thought of me?

   “Phii Fai,” a hoarse voice called out, accompanied by a pale hand clutching Fighter’s student uniform as if seeking an anchor. Trembling eyes revealed a storm of emotions, no different from the dry lips bitten down hard.

“Yes,” Fighter managed to reply. He lowered his hand to gently stroke the younger one’s smooth cheek, as if to comfort him, lightly brushing as if to say it was okay. He’d stay as long as the younger one wanted him to.

“I…” The smaller figure bit his lip before leaning into Fighter’s shoulder.

“…”

“Hic… I miss you, Phii.” All of Tutor’s efforts, the walls he’d painstakingly built and reinforced, crumbled under the weight of his longing. He missed the person in front of him so much.

It was more than words could ever express.

   He didn’t want to hurt anymore.

   He didn’t want to lie in that same room filled with memories of Phii.

   He missed him, missed Phii Fai. Did he hear him? He missed him so much.

   “Hic…” The tears he’d tried so hard to hold back spilled messily. Sobs echoed through the infirmary. The strong hand that had been caressing his cheek now wrapped tightly around Tutor, holding him close. It was a shared feeling neither could deny.

“I miss you too.”

“…”

“I miss you so much, same as you, Tor.”

  WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 21:

   “Heard from Ton that you’ve been free to help at the shop for over a week?” Phii Kae asked while locking up the store.

“Yeah, I’ve got some free time, so I can help out. The other shop’s fine with it too.”

“Great, Tor. I was worried at first since Waew’s down with dengue fever. It’ll take days for her to recover. Thanks a ton, Tor.”

“No problem, Phii Kae. If there’s anything I can help with, I’m always happy to.” Tutor replied with a smile.

“Alright then, head home safe, Tor. See you tomorrow evening!” Kae gave Tutor a light pat on the shoulder before heading off. Tutor strolled back to his dorm unhurriedly, stopping at a 7-Eleven for dinner and replying to a LINE message from Fighter, who said he’d be super busy looking after his dad’s clients out of town.

This was probably for the best. It gave Tutor time to reflect on recent events and whether his impulsive decisions—made without consulting anyone—were the right ones.

“Yo, Tor!” a familiar voice called out as he reached the dorm. Someone stood up from a marble bench, looking at Tutor with slightly dim eyes.

“Zon, can I crash with you tonight? The last van left early, and taxis won’t go my way. I’ve got nowhere else to stay.”

“Sure, come on up.” Tutor nodded and led Zon to his room.

“Wanna shower first, Zon? I’ll grab you a towel.”

“Might as well. Thanks, man.”

“No worries.” After handing Zon a towel and letting him shower, Tutor started tidying up the scattered mess in his room. But he could only manage for a moment—his mind was too chaotic to focus.

In the end, Tutor gave up on cleaning and stepped out onto the balcony instead.

He gazed at the dark sky, speckled with a few twinkling stars. The cool breeze brushing against his face did nothing to calm the turmoil in his mind.

The feelings that had surfaced never faded, and pretending they didn’t exist wasn’t an option. Countless questions swirled in his head, especially the words of Phii Fai’s father, which he couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried.

Tutor thought about it constantly. Even when he tried not to, his mind always drifted back.

“What’s wrong? Why’re you sitting here spacing out alone?” Zon slid open the door, stepped out, and plopped down on an empty chair. His eyes, filled with concern, met Tutor’s. “You stressed about something? You can tell me, Tor.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tutor replied, glancing at Zon’s face, which looked just as tense. In Tutor’s mind, Zon was all about fun and brightness, but now his friend seemed weighed down by something too. “But you look like you’ve got your own stress, don’t you?”

“I’m asking you, not the other way around, dude. So, what’s up? Spill it.”

“…”

“If you wanna talk, I mean. If not, that’s cool too,” Zon softened his tone, noticing Tutor’s distant expression. As curious as he was, he wouldn’t force his friend to open up.

“Zon.”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on with me and Phii Fai?”

“Huh? Going on? You mean… like, going on as in…”

“Yeah, exactly what you’re thinking,” Tutor confirmed, making Zon’s eyes widen in shock again.

“Damn, so you and I really got sucked into some kinda novel, huh?”

“What’d you say?”

“I said you and I got dragged into one of Zol’s damn BL novels.”

“Why do you think that?” Tutor asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, me and Saifah—”

“What?”

“No, no, not like you and Phii Fai, but me and him… it’s, like, how do I even explain it?” Zon looked uneasy, his expression showing he genuinely believed they’d been pulled into a story. With everything going on, it wasn’t hard to entertain the idea that maybe Zon was onto something.

Or maybe it really was like that.

   “Maybe you’re right, Zon. Maybe we’ve both been sucked into some novel world.”

“So what do we do now, Tor? How do we get out of this? How do we wake up? Is this freaking Inception or what? Damn it, what am I supposed to do?” Zon looked extremely uneasy about the situation. In the end, Tutor could only offer a faint smile, giving some encouragement to his anxious friend.

“If we were you, Zon… we’d probably just go with our feelings. Whatever you feel, just do that. If you end up slipping into a novel for real, just let it happen.”

“You’re giving me advice, but what about you, Tor?”

“Me…” Tutor paused for a moment before looking up to answer his close friend. “I have reasons why I can’t just follow my feelings, Zon.”

It was a reason that, no matter how much he wanted to move forward, the priorities were just too different. He was just Tutor. The other person was the father who raised him from the start.

“Why? Is it really that bad?”

“Guess so.” Tutor let out a tired sigh, his mind drifting to the conversation he had with Phii Fai’s father that evening.

    “I hope you understand me, Tor.”

“…”

“Fai is my only son. I expect him to have a stable family, cute kids, a good wife. He’s in his final year now, graduating in a few months. I want him to take over the family business because he’s my hope, my everything, in every way.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m not wrong for expecting this of Fai, am I, Tor?”

“No, sir, you’re not wrong.”

“I raised Fai on my own. He never had a mother, never felt a mother’s warmth. So the least I can do is ensure he has a warm, stable, complete family.”

But sir, a complete or happy family isn’t just about having a father, mother, and kids. There are other things that can bring happiness too.

But my happiness is seeing Fai with a good woman by his side.

“…”

And I believe, in the end, Fai will think the same way I do. You might not understand now, Tor, but when you grow up, see more of the world, get older, you’ll realize that what you and Fai are feeling is just a phase of youthful emotions.

“How can you be so sure that what you’ve chosen is truly Phii

Fai’s happiness?”

“Because I’m his father. I raised him with my own hands. I know him better than anyone. Even if Fai chooses you now, trust me, in the end, he’ll want a family. Once he graduates, meets new people, new environments, it won’t work out, Tor. The same goes for you. I think it’d be better for both of you if you let go now.”

“…”

   “Like today, when Fai didn’t come to see you, it’s because I sent him to work at the company. He went to meet Fang, the daughter of a company director, who I hope will have a relationship with her in the future. Honestly, I never forced Fai. Back when he was with Hwahwa, I approved because she’s lovely. But with you Tor, it’s different. Tor you are a guy. You understand what I’m trying to say, right, Tor?”

   “I understand, but I want to talk to Phii Fai first.”

   “Tor… I’ll be honest. I don’t want to fight with Fai over this.”

   “…”

   “Fai is my only family, the only one I have. When he’s upset, it breaks my heart, and I don’t know what to do. We’re not that close these days. We argue sometimes, but we still smile and talk when we see each other. But if you tell Fai this is because of me, we might fight so badly we can’t even look at each other. He might end up hating me. I don’t think I could handle that.”

   “Phii Fai would never hate you.”

   “Who knows, Tor?”

   “…”

   “Can you promise me, Tor, that you won’t tell Fai about this?”

   “…”

   “Tor.”

   “Alright, I won’t tell Phii Fai about this.”

   “Thank you, really, thank you. As for what I’m asking, I want you to think it over carefully. Think about what’s best for Fai. Or if there’s something you want, just tell me. Name any amount of money, and I’ll give it to you. Just stop being involved with Fai.”

   “Sir, I’m not someone who cares about money. If I leave, it won’t be because of money.”

   “No, no, that’s not what I meant, Tor. I just… I want you to really think it over.”

   “I understand.”

  

“Man, you’re right, it’s messed up,” Zon said in a weary tone. “But I don’t get why some old-fashioned adults think a perfect family has to have a mom, a dad, and kids. Some families have all that and still aren’t happy. And another thing I don’t get is why they think their way is the only right way, just because they were born first. Like they own the damn world or something. It’s bullshit.”

Zon grumbled and shook his head in frustration. He was right, but what could Tor do? That was his father, and in the grand scheme of things, Tor was just an outsider.

“So… what are you going to do now? Shouldn’t you talk to Phii Fai about it? Discuss it with him.”

“…”

“Going quiet like that means you’re just gonna decide on your own, huh?”

“Yeah, I promised Fai’s dad.”

“This is about you and Phii Fai, Tor. Why let someone else be a factor?”

“I don’t want the two of them to fight.”

“But if you don’t talk, it’ll just stay unresolved like this. Isn’t it better to ask him outright what he’ll choose? He’s caught in the middle. He deserves to know, man.”

“…”

“Sigh.” Zon let out an exasperated breath, seeing his friend had no intention of telling Fighter as he wished. “Fine, figure it out yourself then. Choose what you think is best. Really listen to your heart before deciding anything. That’s all the advice I can give you.”

“Thanks, Zon.”

“Alright, I’m hitting the sack.”

“Mm, good night.” Tutor nodded lightly as Zon patted his shoulder before heading inside. That’s just how Tutor was— stubborn in a way that sometimes even he got tired of himself. Maybe because he’d promised Phii Fai’s dad not to tell his son about this.

In the end, he was left alone to ponder whether the choices ahead were the right ones.

Brr, brr.

Tutor stared at his phone for a long time before deciding to pick it up.

“Hello.”

(Why do you look so tired?) It was Fighter video-calling him. “Work was busy today, Phii Fai.”

(Same here, been swamped all day. Dad sent me to handle some business with his partner out of town. Won’t be back for a couple of days.)    “Mm.”

(Miss me?)

   “…” Tutor didn’t answer, just glanced away, making the person on the call grin amusedly.

(Just say you miss me if you do. Hell, I miss you.)

   “It’s only a few days, Fai. Why do you always exaggerate?”

(Not exaggerating at all. So, how’s Hwahwa? Is she still mad at you? Did hanging out with her and making up help at all?)

   “Dunno.”

(Probably only mad when I’m around you, huh? Bet she’s trying to keep us apart. Good thing I’m off working. Hope when I get back, your friend lets you come see me.)

   “You’re always like this,” Tutor shook his head lightly. “So, how was today? Tired?”

(Exhausted as hell. Worked all day, didn’t know what was going on half the time. Had to deal with foreign clients, but thankfully Fang was there to handle the talking.)

“Fang?”

(Yeah, Fang. She’s the daughter of the company’s partner, a year older than me. I don’t call her ‘Phii’ though—she looks way younger than me and acts super childish.)

“Is she cute?”

(She’s alright, but not as cute as you.)

“Enough already… Is she okay, though?”

(She’s fine. Pretty capable, speaks English like lightning. Probably gonna be a company director someday. As for me, I’ll need to study harder first. Then I’ll figure out the future, make some plans. Time flies, doesn’t it? Less than a year and I’ll graduate.)

“Yeah.”

Knock, knock, knock.

The sound of knocking came through the call. Fighter frowned and left the phone on the bed. Tutor saw a woman walk up and knock on the door. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, just that they were talking. Eventually, Fighter came back.

(Sorry, Fang was just dropping something off for me.)

“Oh.”

(Anyway, where was I?)

“You said you’re graduating in less than a year.”

(Right, that’s it. Maybe I’ll get a couple of years of experience before coming back to work at the company. Not sure if my dad will agree, though.)

“What if he doesn’t?”

(Guess I’ll just have to suck it up. It’s not like it’s too much for me.)

“Are you and your dad close?”

(Close? Nah, not at all. I grew up with nannies. He’s always working, so we’re not like other families. Like you and your sister—I’m kinda jealous when I see that. Why do you ask, though?)

“No reason, just curious.”

(Even if we’re not close, he’s all I’ve got. He raised me on his own, never brought a new woman into the house either. Maybe he knows I wouldn’t like it. Even now, I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone. But what blows my mind is how he runs the company. Before my grandpa died, the business nearly went under so many times, I lost count. Yet he pulled it through and made it what it is today.)

“You sound really proud of your dad.”

(I’m proud, I admit he’s talented. Sometimes I wish I could be as talented as him, make him proud. Because no matter how distant I am from my dad, in the end, he’s still my dad.)

   “Yeah,” Tutor nodded. “So, should we call it a day, Phii Fai?

I’m gonna take a shower; I feel all sticky.”

(What the hell, we just talked for a bit. But fine, you look tired.

Rest up, okay? I’ll call you again when I’m back.)

   “Mm.”

(Goodnight, Tor.)

   “You too.”

Tutor hung up, his eyes closing as a heavy feeling surged within him. It felt awful. Tutor wasn’t some saint. If he could, he’d choose his and Phii Fai’s happiness above everything else.

But it was that word—family.

Family, to Tutor, was more important than anything else.

“I only have Fai. He’s my only family.”

“No matter how distant I am from my dad, in the end, he’s still my dad.”

Yeah… Tutor understood now.

He understood that no matter how overwhelming happiness could be, he couldn’t take the concept of family away from anyone.

He… really couldn’t do it.

…

It’s been a week, hasn’t it?

A week of Fighter being frustrated because Tutor wouldn’t reply to his messages or pick up his calls. A week of not understanding what was going on with his junior.

At first, Tutor said Hwahwa was still upset. Fine, he didn’t want to meddle or cause trouble. But at least they could talk on the phone or reply to messages. Instead, not only did Tutor ignore his messages, but he also didn’t answer calls. Going to his classroom? Day brushed him off. Going to his workplace?

They said Tutor had temporarily transferred to another branch. Even waiting at his dorm all night—Tutor never came back.

“You holding up okay, Fai?”

“I’m fine. Just a slight headache.”

“Still no answer from him?”

“Nope,” Fighter answered Dew, propping his chin on his hand and staring at the professor at the front of the room.

“He’s probably just busy, right?”

“I don’t feel that way at all, Dew.”

“…”

“I feel…” Fighter swallowed his thoughts. He genuinely felt that Tutor was avoiding him. He didn’t want to assume, but he couldn’t help wondering what was going on with Tutor. He wasn’t sure if he’d done something wrong to make his junior avoid him like this.

Ding, ding.

The sound of a LINE notification popped up on his phone.

Fighter’s heart hoped it was from the person he’d been waiting for.

But it wasn’t… It was a message from one of his friends.

After reading it, Fighter grabbed his car keys and phone from the study desk, stuffed them into his pants pocket, and rushed out.

Natee: Fai, I saw Tor at Lecture Hall One. He’s photocopying stuff right now. Hurry over.

“Dew, I’m heading out. If I don’t make it back before class ends, grab my bag and notes for me.”

“Whoa, where you going?”

“To find Tor.” Fighter said before quickly leaving. He drove to the lecture hall, and as soon as he found a parking spot, he practically ran to find his junior, driven by the fear that Tutor might slip away again.

Fighter didn’t know what was going on. He wasn’t sure if his junior was still okay with their relationship. What he feared most right now was that Tutor’s feelings might have changed.

He was terrified that after coming back from the beach, Tutor might have gained clarity about himself. He feared that what happened there was just a fleeting moment.

And his greatest fear was that Tutor might regret their relationship.

Right now, Fighter felt like a blind man in a cave, with no answers or light to guide him. Maybe because the only person who could answer his questions was busy running away from him.

If it turned out to be what he feared, he didn’t know if he could handle it.

In his heart, he could only hope it wasn’t true…    Please, let it not be what he was thinking.

“Phii Fai!” A familiar voice called out as Fighter blocked the path of the person who had just finished photocopying. The startled look on Tutor’s face confirmed to Fighter that his junior had indeed been avoiding him.

“Can we talk?”

“Well, I…” Tutor’s thin lips pressed into a tight line. The pale face that met his gaze at first quickly turned away, as if trying to ignore him.

“Tor.”

“…”

“Please, I’m begging you. Let me talk to you. At least tell me what’s going on.”

“…”

“Can you?”

“Mm, fine.” With Tutor’s reluctant permission, the taller figure grabbed his hand and led him behind the building. It was evening, after most students had finished classes, and not a single person passed by.

The awkward silence grew heavier as their eyes met.

“What’s going on, Tor?” Fighter broke the silence first. “Why aren’t you answering my calls? I went to your room, you weren’t there. Went to the shop, they said you were helping at another branch, but wouldn’t say which one. Is something up?”

“…”

“Can you tell me?”

“I’m busy.” Tutor swallowed the lump in his throat and faced the older guy, whose eyes were full of questions. “I’ve got a project. Sometimes it gets late, so I crash at a friend’s dorm in the faculty. As for work, it’s just like you said.”

“Really?” Fighter’s voice was faint. “Why don’t I believe that? It feels more like you’re avoiding me.”

Tutor couldn’t bring himself to meet Phii Fai’s gaze. He didn’t want to see the pain in his older friend’s eyes right now.

“It’s nothing, Phii Fai. I’m just tired. Work’s been hectic, and I’ve been working really hard.”

“Take a break, Tor. Didn’t you promise to cut back on work?” The gentle tone and concerned look in Fighter’s eyes were unmistakable. “Do you realize how worn out you look?”

“Phii Fai…”

“It’s only been a week or so since I last saw you, and not only do you look exhausted, you’ve lost some weight too.”

“Phii Fai.”

“Yeah?”

“I…” Tutor pursed his lips tightly. He looked into the older guy’s eyes again, his mind racing through the hundredth iteration of what he was about to say, questioning if it was the right thing to do, if it was correct to say it.

Even though he didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to be the one to say they no longer needed to stand side by side.

But in the end…

“Do you remember the promise you made me?”

“…”

“The promise where you said you wouldn’t go anywhere until… until I told you to let go of my hand.”

“Tor.”

“I’m asking if you can let go,” Fighter turned his face away. He bit his lip hard. Was the thing he feared most about to happen? Was his younger lover begging him to let go?

“Sure… I can let go.”

“Then can you let go of my hand?”

“Tor… do you know what you’re saying? Don’t mess with me like this.” Though he spoke with a forced laugh, as if it were a joke, his heart felt like it was being slowly sliced by a knife. The look in Tutor’s eyes wasn’t playful at all. He wasn’t joking. “Tor.”

“You promised, Fai,” Tutor choked out. “You promised me.”

“Why?” A burning sensation welled up in his eyes, as if his heart’s pain was spilling over. He didn’t care how many tears were falling now. He just couldn’t understand why his younger friend was doing this. “Why, Tor? Why did it come to this?”    “Can I not give a reason, Phii Fai? I… I’m sorry.”

This was the second time, wasn’t it? The second time he’d seen his younger friend cry. The tears that made his heart ache unbearably.

Can you not cry, Tor?

Can you not be sad because of me?

Please don’t cry. Tears don’t suit you at all.

“Tor,” Fighter called his name, his voice trembling.

“Phii Fai, please… let me go,” Tutor pleaded. Fighter looked at the person in front of him, pain searing through him. He pushed his tongue against his cheek and turned away. This feeling was utterly awful.

Why did this have to happen to him, especially when he loved someone this much?

   And why wouldn’t the person in front of him give him any reason? At least tell him what he did wrong.

   Just say it’s because you don’t love me anymore, or that you never felt anything for me to begin with.

   Just say something. Anything.

   “Then let me ask you this, Tor. In all the time we’ve been together, have you ever regretted what happened between us? This relationship, from the start until now—do you regret it?”

Tutor fell silent. He didn’t answer the question. All Fighter could hear was the sound of his sobs echoing back.

“Are you crying because you regret it?”

“…”

“Do you regret that things turned out this way between us?”

“Phii Fai, I…” Tutor couldn’t speak. His sobs continued, as if he might break down right there. Fighter didn’t want him to cry.

He didn’t want his younger friend to shed tears because of him.

Fighter once said he hated seeing his junior’s tears. He still felt that way now. Even if it meant trading the whole world to spare Tutor’s pain and tears, he’d do it.

“Okay… I understand,” Fighter said with difficulty. He reached out to wipe the tears from the face in front of him, gently stroking his junior’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, Tor. Sorry for making you sad. So please, stop crying.”

“Hic… sob…”

“Don’t cry. Tears don’t suit you at all,” the older guy said softly, his large hand ruffling Tutor’s hair gently. His thin lips pressed a kiss to the damp eyelids again, lingering yet feeling fleeting. It was painful, but it had to be this way. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

The familiar sight of his back slowly walking away blurred and faded through the unrelenting tears.

   Tutor was in pain—too much to fully express.

   “Sob… Phii Fai. I’ve never regretted meeting you. Not even a bit about what happened between us… Fai.”

This is for the best, right? Choosing to decide like this—it’s good for both of us, isn’t it?

   Please tell me it’s really for the best.

           WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 20:

Buzz, buzz

The phone vibrating on the bedside table went on long enough to wake someone from their sleep.

Tutor sat up, gently pulling away from the arms wrapped around him, and reached for the phone to check it. A Line message from his close friend Hwahwa, who usually didn’t message at this hour, was waiting.

His brows furrowed with unease, but he eventually opened the message.

It was exactly as he’d feared.

 

   HwaHwa: You went on a trip with Phii Fai, just the two of you, Tor?

   HwaHwa: Are you and Phii Fai hiding something from Hwa?

   I never thought you’d do something like this, Tor.

   Why didn’t you tell me anything?

  

The messages came with a photo taken yesterday, probably when he and Phii Fai were strolling through the night market.

Even though Tutor had planned to tell Hwahwa after the trip, this happened first. The feeling now was like he’d betrayed his friend.

And it didn’t feel good at all.

“Awake already?” a voice came from behind. Fighter groggily sat up and rested his chin on Tutor’s shoulder, like a big dog nuzzling its owner. Tutor let out a small smile, ruffled Fighter’s hair once, and then set his phone down on the bed as before.

“We’ve got to head back to Bangkok today.”

“Mm, back we go,” Tutor replied softly, his voice so light that the one resting his chin on his shoulder felt a twinge of surprise. Even though Tutor answered as if nothing was wrong, Fighter caught a hint of something in his tone.

“Something up?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure?”

“Mm.”

“Look at me for a sec,” Fighter lifted his head from Tutor’s shoulder and turned him to face him. “What’s wrong?”

And yes, Fighter always noticed, no matter how much Tutor tried to hide it.

The slender fingers that brushed against his cheek, as the older one often did, were as gentle as ever.

“Why the stressed face, khrap?”

“No need for the ‘khrap’ stuff.”

“Just wanna sweet-talk you a bit.”

“…”

“Haha,” Fighter laughed, because the person in front of him looked exasperated. It was undeniable that Fighter enjoyed teasing Tutor until he got annoyed, only to coax him afterward.

“So, why the long face?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t wanna stay here longer, do you?”

“Very funny, Phii Fai.”

“Then should I book the hotel for three more days?”

“Phii Fai,” Tutor said sternly. “We’re still students, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Let’s shower, pack up, and head back to Bangkok,” Fighter said, leaning in as if to kiss Tutor’s lips, but the younger one pulled back first.

“Haven’t brushed your teeth yet, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Then no kissing,” Tutor raised his hand to cover his mouth and pushed Fighter’s face away gently.

“Alright, fine, this works too.” The pale hand that had been covering Fighter’s mouth now moved to cover its owner’s instead. The taller figure leaned in closer, pressing thin lips against the back of Tutor’s hand. His gaze carried that teasing look Fighter loved to use, irritatingly so. “Morning kiss, Tutor.”

“Mhm.” Tutor nodded, glancing away, embarrassed by the playful expression on his senior’s face. Fighter kept grinning at his shyness, savoring every moment of it. Finally, he stopped teasing, ruffled Tutor’s hair, and got up to take a shower.

Not long after the bathroom door closed, Tutor let out a soft sigh. His mind was a chaotic mess. He didn’t know where to begin explaining to Fighter. He knew it wasn’t a big deal, but he couldn’t help overthinking it. Would Hwahwa understand him in the end?

Even though they’d been friends for so long.

They knew each other better than anyone, but the human heart was still hard to fathom.

6:20 PM

   A luxury car pulled up in front of Tutor’s dorm. The driver turned off the engine and reached to the back seat to grab something, preparing to head up to the room with his junior.

“I’m crashing at your dorm tonight, Tor.”

“…”

“Tor.” Fighter turned to look at the owner of the name, who was staring at him with uneasy eyes. Truthfully, since leaving the hotel and arriving at the dorm, Tutor had seemed noticeably down. Fighter had assumed he was just tired and hadn’t pressed him much. But seeing his state now, he couldn’t ignore it. “Is something wrong?”

“Phii Fai,” Tutor’s worried expression made it clear to the listener that something was genuinely troubling him.

“Yes?”

 

Hwa knows about us, Phii.”

“…”

“…”

“Good. That saves us the trouble of explaining.” Fighter reached out to touch his junior’s cheek, offering a faint smile. At least if Hwahwa already knew, he wouldn’t have to worry about how to bring it up. Though he was well aware she might not be too pleased.

“It’s not that simple,” Tutor’s voice carried a whiny tone, making Fighter smile again. “It’s not funny, Phii Fai. I’m stressed out here.”

“Sorry.” His large hand shifted to cradle Tutor’s face, as if to comfort him. “Don’t overthink it, Tor. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me, Phii.”

“…”

“I don’t know how to explain it to you, but Hwa doesn’t like it when I keep things from her. I can’t even imagine how mad she’ll be.” Another sigh escaped him. “But it’s my fault for not telling her sooner.”

“Why would she be mad, Tor? He’s your best friend.”

“But…”

“Trust me, she won’t stay mad. She might be a bit upset now, but if she’s really your friend, I’m sure she’ll understand. Let’s go talk to Hwahwa today and sort it out, okay?”

“…”

“Sound good?” Fighter ruffled the younger guy’s hair as if to reassure him again. Tutor looked up at the taller figure, silently confirming if this was the right call. When Fighter nodded in confirmation, Tutor finally agreed and pulled out his phone to call Hwahwa.

Tutor didn’t know whether this meeting with his best friend would turn out heads or tails, but Fighter’s words carried enough weight to make him feel more confident about his friend.

…

The orange sunlight brushing the horizon signaled the approach of evening. Day leaned against a tree, watching Hwahwa talk with two people she knew well.

Hwahwa wasn’t angry at Tutor—she’d never been angry with him. She was just hurt and frustrated that he never told her about Fighter. She didn’t even know when the two of them had gotten close. If Tutor had just told her a little, she wouldn’t feel this upset.

“Phii Fai, you doing alright?” Hwahwa asked first, her gaze tinged with displeasure as she looked at her former fling.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Your face says it all. Had a great time at the beach, huh?” Hwahwa’s tone carried a subtle jab, her eyes openly expressing her irritation. Fighter didn’t respond. He just stayed quiet, letting her continue. He didn’t bother making excuses, knowing it would only fuel her frustration. “Seriously, Tor.”

Hwahwa turned her attention back to her best friend standing in front of her.

“When were you going to tell me about this, Tor? Or were you never going to? If I hadn’t found out, you wouldn’t have said anything, right?”

“No, Hwahwa, I was going to tell you. I planned to tell you as soon as I got back from the beach.”

“Really?” Hwahwa’s tone was still sulky, but her frustration had noticeably softened.

“Yeah, I swear.” Tutor put on a pleading face.

“Exactly! Tor was really worried about you, Hwahwa,” Fighter chimed in after staying silent for a while.

“Phii Fai, be quiet. I wasn’t talking to you,” Hwahwa snapped at him, making him shrink back. Tutor, standing nearby, couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “It’s not funny, Tor. I’m being serious.”

“Sorry.”

“…”

“We’re really sorry, Hwa,” Tutor’s remorseful expression showed he truly meant it. Of course, as a friend, what could she do but soften toward such a close friend?

“Fine,” Hwahwa finally gave in. “I’m not mad at you Tor. As for feeling slighted, I’m okay now.”

“Thank you.”

“As for Phii Fai,” Hwahwa turned to face Fighter, locking eyes with him, “can I ask the question I asked before? Why did you pursue me back then?”

“Sure.”

“Have you found the answer now?”

“I have.” That answer had started forming the moment he first saw Tutor. The clarity of his feelings grew as he got to know Tutor better—his true self, his thoughts, his care—until it evolved into the word love.

Yes… Fighter could confidently say he loved Tutor.

   Loved him deeply.

   “Are you sure about your feelings, Phii Fai?”

“Absolutely.” His firm response and steady gaze made Hwahwa soften once more.

“Okay. If you are certain of his answer, I hope it’s clear enough not to make my friend sad.”

“Never.”

Good, because after today, I’m claiming Tutor to make up for not telling me about you, Phii Fai earlier. As for Phii Fai, you’ll have to wait until I’m okay with it.” Hwahwa finished and turned to her close friend. “Tor, you okay with that?”

“Sure.”

“Yay! For now, Tor, you have to stick by me, okay?”

“What about Day?”

“Day’s his own thing. You are you. Totally separate.” Fighter looked exasperated. He knew Hwahwa was doing this to get back at him, but fine, let her have her fun. Just don’t keep his Tutor for too long, because if she did, he wouldn’t let it slide either.

“So, what’s the plan today? Tutor’s bag is in my car. Should I drop it off at his place first, or do you want to take it, Hwa?”

“Today?” Hwahwa glanced at the person leaning against the tree. Day raised an eyebrow as if asking what was up. In the end, Hwahwa shook her head and turned back to Fighter and Tutor. Truthfully, she and Day had a dinner reservation for two. Adding Tutor wouldn’t be a big deal, but she felt it’d be inconsiderate to Day. “Today, you can take him. I’m feeling nice. We’ll start tomorrow.”

Tutor shook his head at his close friend, amused. He knew what Hwahwa was up to. If he didn’t indulge her a little, she’d throw a bigger fit. But Tor—was confident that Hwahwa wouldn’t keep this up for long. Four or five days, and she’d probably get bored.

After their conversation, they parted ways. Day and Hwahwa seemed to have other business to attend to. Meanwhile, he and Fighter returned to the dorm. The stubborn Fighter, with his usual flimsy excuses, insisted on staying over at his place, citing Hwahwa’s comment that they wouldn’t see each other for a while. In the end, Tutor could only soften and let Phii Fai stay over, though he hadn’t expected Fai to be this clingy.

“Your friend is so damn selfish.”

“Phii Fai you pretty good at complaining too.”

“True, you can tell Hwa wants revenge on me,” Fighter grumbled nonstop. From the moment they left Hwahwa until they got back to the room, he still hadn’t stopped.

“Come on, Hwa’s probably only acting like this for a couple of days.”

“But you gave in.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want Hwa to be mad either.”

“She’s not mad.”

“But she’s sulking, isn’t she?” Tutor, dressed in a t-shirt and short athletic shorts with a small towel on his head from just showering, sat down next to the guy leaning against the bed. He reached up to gently ruffle the older guy’s hair, as if trying to calm Fighter down a bit.

“Can I still come see you in the evening?”

“I’ve got work, Phii Fai.”

“You used to work, and I could still come see you.”

“Fine, come if you want, but just to the room like usual, okay?”

“Okay. But honestly, I really wish you’d quit your job, you know? Can’t you just quit?” Fighter pouted, making Tutor shake his head and chuckle.

“No way. I need to eat and live.”

“I can take care of you.”

“Didn’t I already say I’m not okay with that?”

“I know, but I can take care of you.”

“Phii Fai.”

“Alright, alright, I’m just frustrated. Between your friend stealing your time from me and you still having to work, we barely get to hang out. I feel like I don’t even exist.”

“Who said you don’t exist? Look, I can see you right here, with me.” Tutor ruffled the bigger guy’s hair again. “How about this: I’ll cut back on part-time work compared to before, but I’m not quitting, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good then.” Tutor gave the older guy’s head another pat. He was about to stand up, but Fighter grabbed his hand first.

“Comfort me.”

“Here, I’m comforting you.”

“Not like that.”

“Then how?”

“Like… that.” The sparkling glint in Fighter’s eyes was enough for him to understand what the person in front of him was asking for.

“Like this?” Tutor said, pressing a kiss to Fighter’s lips before tilting his head to ask if it was satisfactory. Of course, someone like Fighter was never content with just one kiss. He pulled Tutor onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist, drawing him closer until their bodies pressed tightly together.

“Now this is better.” A minty kiss, flavored by the scent of toothpaste, was shared through the touch of warm tongues.

“Phii Fai…” Tutor let out a soft moan as Fighter’s large hand trailed across his skin. The cool, freshly showered body squirmed under the hot lips that nipped and teased, making Tutor writhe uncontrollably.

The sensation climbed higher and higher, matching the rhythm of his senior’s movements.

“Tor,” a husky whisper echoed alongside feelings that mirrored the soaring emotions sparked with every touch.

The meeting of their eyes, the contact of their skin, the sweat drenching their bodies—Tutor couldn’t deny how incredible it felt to share moments like this with the person he loved.

It was truly wonderful to have Phii Fai by his side.

   …

“Hey, Phii!” Tutor raised his hand to greet the staff at the shop where he worked, flashing a smile.

“Sorry for dragging you in to work during this time, Tor. Waew got sick out of nowhere, and I couldn’t find anyone else to cover,” said Phii Kae.

“No worries, Phii Kae. I can manage.”

“But is it really okay with the place you’re working at now?”

“It’s fine, Phii Kae. I already talked to my boss there. I’ll go change first, alright?” Originally, Tutor had plans to have dinner with Day and Hwahwa, but Phii Kae, his former boss, called him to help out at the shop. His current boss, Sis Fai, was understanding and gave him the green light to work with Phii Kae.

“After you change, can you wipe down the front windows, Tor?”

“Sure thing!” Tutor called back before heading to the changing room.

He hadn’t seen Phii Fai all day. They’d only talked through LINE. Lately, Phii Fai seemed busy with internship matters and helping out at his father’s company. Tutor wasn’t sure if, after graduating, Phii Fai would end up working at his father’s company. From their last conversation, it seemed like Phii Fai wanted to gain experience in his field of study first. He also mentioned wanting to improve his English skills.

Their life paths were about to unfold. Tutor had no idea what the future held for the two of them.

But if things couldn’t stay the same or if someone changed,

Tutor was ready to understand—and he believed Phii Fai would too.

“Is that Tutor?” a voice called out while Tutor was wiping the shop’s front window. He turned to see someone Fai knew well.

“Yes, sir.” Tutor gave a polite wai and forced a faint smile. Though his smile hid a wave of worry, he tried to make it as wide as possible. “You’re Fai’s father, right?”

“That’s right, I’m his dad.”

Tutor had no idea why Phii Fai’s father had come to his workplace. He didn’t dare guess. Deep down, though, fear crept in—fear that something might shake the bond between him and Fighter.

  WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 19:

The morning sunlight filtered through the white curtains, casting a glow on the broad back of someone stirring. Fighter groggily woke up, reaching out to the space beside him as if to pull the person who should’ve been lying there into an embrace. But the spot was empty, making him lift his head from the pillow to check again. Tutor wasn’t there.

Fighter sat up and scanned the room until his eyes landed on a slim figure in a t-shirt and shorts, sitting on a table outside by the balcony, legs dangling. The breeze tousled his hair, revealing those round eyes gazing at the view ahead. Fighter couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He grabbed his favorite camera, snapped a photo to capture the moment, then walked out to join the younger guy.

“I thought you’d sneak out and leave some cash on the nightstand for my services,” Fighter teased, sliding himself between Tutor’s legs as he sat on the table. Tutor spread his legs to make room, pouting slightly and glaring at the older guy in mock annoyance.

“Almost did, but you’re not that good to deserve payment,” Tutor shot back.

“Ouch, that’s harsh,” Fighter said, flicking Tutor’s forehead. They locked eyes, both fully aware that their relationship had shifted into something entirely different now.

“Phii Fai.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s okay?”

“Last night, you mean? Why? Are you… regretting it?” The older guy’s sulky expression made Tutor break into an affectionate smile. Since when did Fighter become the one overthinking things because of him?

“Not like that,” Tutor said, wrapping his arms around Fighter’s neck as if to coax him. “I don’t regret it. It just… feels weird.”

“What’d I mess up? Last night you were still calling yourself cutely like that. Was I too rough?”

The way Fighter had called him by his name last night still lingered in his feelings. Come inside me.

“Phii Fai, stop it already,” Tutor said.

“Come on, be bold. If you’ve said that before, shouldn’t you keep doing it?”

Tutor didn’t reply. He was too embarrassed to refer to himself by name. Maybe because last night, when he’d said it, it was in the heat of the moment, emotions climbing to their peak.

“I really want you to call yourself cutely,” Fighter said.

“…”

“Can’t you, khrap?”

“It’s not that I can’t, but… I’m just not used to it yet, Phii Fai.

Can we wait a bit before I do that?”

“…”

“Please?” The younger one pouted adorably, his pleading expression so stubbornly cute it made Fighter want to bite his lips. Did he think acting like this would make him go soft?

Well, yeah, the kid was right.

   “Fine,” Fighter gave in at last. “So, about that weird feeling you mentioned earlier—what’s so weird about it?”

“I don’t know, Phii Fai. I can’t explain it, but it’s not a bad thing. I just… don’t know how to put it into words,” Tutor replied, his voice tinged with confusion. The look on his face showed a hint of worry—not much, but enough for Fighter to pick up on. Perhaps one reason for Tutor’s unease was that he hadn’t yet told his childhood friend, Hwahwa, about their relationship. It left a lingering feeling in his heart, small like a speck of dust, but significant enough for Tutor to feel it nagging at him, unable to brush it off.

In the end, Fighter could only lift his hand to gently stroke Tutor’s cheek, offering silent encouragement.

“Then let’s decide what to do after this trip.”

“Mm,” Tutor nodded lightly, shifting his hand from rubbing the back of Fighter’s neck to touching his ear. Tutor always thought the older one would look great with earrings. Yesterday, while they were strolling through the market, he’d bought a pair for Phii Fai. “When we went to the market yesterday, I got something for you, Phii Fai.”

“For real? You actually bought something for me? What is it?

Can I see?”

“Just a sec,” Tutor said, looking around as if searching for something. He’d grabbed it from the room that morning. Spotting a paper bag nearby, he picked it up and showed it to

Fighter. “Earrings. I thought they’d suit you, so I got them.”

Tutor pulled out a pair of black hoop earrings from the paper bag to show Fighter.

“Do you like them?”

“I do.”

“I like them too.”

“I meant you.”

“…”

“…”

“I meant you,” Tutor replied, feeling a mix of wanting to tease Fighter back and a bit of shyness. He was tired of losing whenever Fighter teased him. But believe it or not, this time the response made Tutor see Fighter turn away in embarrassment, his ears turning red. So cute, Phii Fai. Why does he look this adorable when he’s shy? “Haha!”

Tutor burst out laughing, delighted.

“Now I get why you loves making others shy. This is how it feels, huh?”

“Not at all,” Fighter denied.

“Haha!”

“Stop laughing already.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” Tutor said. “By the way, are you going to wear these earrings now?”

“Yeah, put them on,” Fighter nodded, tilting his ear with the earring toward Tutor so the smaller guy could remove the old one easily. The focused look in Tutor’s eyes made Fighter smile unconsciously.

“Looks good,” Tutor complimented his own handiwork after putting the earring on, unable to stop touching Fighter’s ear.

“Of course, look who’s wearing it,” the owner of the new earring said proudly, then rewarded the buyer by gently kissing the back of Tutor’s hand. “Thanks for the most precious gift.” “Mm.”

“The earrings… and last night.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Tutor shook his head in mock annoyance. Fighter didn’t bother dragging it out. He looked at his junior’s face and thought of the gift he’d bought too. “Actually, I got something for you too, Tor. Was gonna give it to you tonight, but since we’re here, wait a sec.”

Fighter disappeared into the room for about two minutes and came back with a silver necklace—one he’d specifically picked out for Tutor.

“Suits you perfectly. The guy who chose it is pretty damn good,” Fighter praised himself while brushing his lips and nose lightly against Tutor’s earlobe and cheek, then moving down to kiss and nibble at his pale neck for several seconds.

“Kissing this early in the morning, Phii Fai?”

“Honestly, I want to do more than just kiss.”

“Stop it,” Tutor tilted his neck away, but someone as stubborn as Phii Fai just ignored him, as usual. In the end, Tutor could only grab the taller guy’s face with both hands, reaching up to ruffle his hair as if to snap him out of it. “What’s with all the kissing this early, Phii Fai? It’s nice out today. Shouldn’t we shower and go grab some food?”

“Why the rush?”

“So we can go explore the island, obviously.”

“Let’s save it for next time. Today, we can just chill at the hotel.”

“No way,” Tutor whined, pouting slightly and looking up at Fighter again. “I want to go.”

“…”

“Please, Phii Fai, let’s go. I want to swim and see the coral.”

“You… sure you’re up for it?” Fighter’s face showed a hint of worry.

“I’m fine. I took the medicine last night, didn’t I? So let’s hurry and shower,” Tutor hopped off the table and whistled his way into the room, as if to show he wasn’t that weak.

After showering and eating, they got ready to go snorkeling.

The hotel had prepared everything—towels, snorkeling masks, and all.

Initially, a staff member was supposed to drive them to the pier, but Tutor thought it wasn’t too far. In the end, they rented a hotel motorcycle to ride there themselves.

“You sure you can ride a motorcycle?” Fighter squinted at Tutor, not entirely trusting him.

“Of course, Phii Fai. Come on, we’ll miss the boat,” Tutor waved the older one over and handed him a helmet.

“Where’d you learn to ride?”

“Since high school, Phii Fai. Back at my old place, I used to ride to the market all the time. Stop talking and put the helmet on already.”

“Doing it now,” the taller one said, struggling to put on the helmet. He fumbled awkwardly, making Tutor annoyed. In the end, it was Tutor who stood up, reached over, and helped put it on for him. Seeing this, he couldn’t help but laugh. He never imagined someone like Fighter wouldn’t know how to do something like this. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just thinking that even someone like you has things you can’t do.”

“It’s just riding a motorcycle that I can’t do.”

“Not just that,” Tutor said, checking Fighter’s helmet again before smiling. “Your English isn’t great either.”

“That’s all, okay?” Fighter retorted, lightly tapping Tutor’s helmet before following him to the motorcycle.

It took them about ten minutes to ride to the pier. The boat they took for island-hopping snorkeling was a large speedboat carrying over ten tourists. The fun started when the driver took them to various islands for snorkeling.

Tutor looked like he was having a blast, showing no signs of fatigue. He smiled throughout the trip, like someone who hadn’t had this kind of fun in ages. Fighter wasn’t much different. Though he didn’t jump in the water at every island, he found joy in capturing Tutor’s moments through his camera.

This is the last island, folks. We’ll be here for just one more hour before heading back to the mainland. For those who’ve finished their boxed meals, please throw the trash in the black bags provided by the staff,” the boat crew announced before handing out lunch boxes to the tourists. After grabbing their meals, people scattered to find their own spots to rest.

Fighter led Tutor to a quieter area, away from the crowd, where they could clearly see the orange-tinted sky contrasting with the blue water.

Tutor opened his lunch box and slowly scooped rice into his mouth. Exhaustion made him barely notice the taste.

Meanwhile, the guy next to him didn’t seem like he was going to eat at all. Tutor didn’t mind that, but having Fighter stare at him while he ate was making him flustered.

“Keep staring, and I’ll start charging you, Phii Fai.”

“How much? I’m ready to pay.”

“What, you rich or something?”

“Rich enough to spend money just to look at you,” Fighter said with a teasing smile. Tutor shook his head and took another bite of rice. “Tor.”

“Yeah?”

“Besides here, anywhere else you want to go?”

“There’s a bunch of places,” Tutor replied, turning to him.

“But I love beautiful beaches. Anywhere with a nice view, I’d want to go. Honestly, if I got the chance to go with some friends, it’d probably be a blast.”

“Like with Saifah and them?”

“Yeah, Saifah, Day, Hwahwa. Maybe even Zon.”

“Zon from the communications faculty? You’re close with him too?”

“Yup, about as close as I am with Hwahwa. But since we’re in different faculties, we don’t get to hang out much.”

“Hmm,” Fighter nodded. He hadn’t known this before, but now he knew Zon was one of Tutor’s close friends too.

“Zon’s a funny guy, Phii Fai. Hanging out with him is always full of laughs.”

“And I’m not funny?”

“You? Funny?” Tutor raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

“Not even a bit.”

“What, so hanging out with me isn’t fun then?”

“Who said that?”

“Well, you said I’m not funny.”

“It’s not the same, Fai.”

“…”

“Being with you is better than anything else—way better, even,” Tutor said, and the person in front of him broke into a wide smile. It was a smile Tutor could easily tell showed just how happy Phii Fai was.

“You know how insanely happy I am when I’m with you? So, I’m making a promise right here, Tor: I’ll stay with you, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll never let go of your hand.”

“Phii Fai,” Tutor smiled softly at the person beside him, gently cradling Fighter’s face with care. “You don’t need to make such a big promise. There’s no need for promises like that because, in the end, we can’t know what the future holds.”

“…”

“What if one day we grow up and we’re not meant for each other anymore? Right now, we’re just students, not even graduated, still young. We’re just starting to live as adults. So, you don’t need to promise you’ll never let go. Just feel what you feel today and show it as much as you want. That’s enough for me to know how you feel about me.”

“No way.”

“…”

“I’m not that kind of person, Tor. I’m confident I’m someone who’s steady, really steady. I don’t know how well others keep their promises, but for me, once I decide it’s right, it’s right—no matter how long it takes.”

“Phii Fai…”

“But I’m not too serious about it. If one day you don’t feel anything for me anymore, just tell me to let go. Tell me you’re not okay, that it’s enough. I’ll walk away then. But let it be your true feelings, Tor, not something out of anger or some kind of tantrum.”

“Who’s throwing a tantrum?”

“It’s obvious you.”

“When?”

“At the singing event, or was it not?”

“Enough already,” Tutor turned his gaze away, but Fighter reached out, gently tilting his chin to make him look back.

“Tor,” Fighter called his name again. He leaned in close enough for them to feel each other’s breath. “I love you.”

“I know.”

“So much.” Fighter pressed his lips lightly against Tutor’s. It wasn’t deep or intense, just a soft kiss, but it carried a profound feeling.

Perhaps because it was the first kiss after saying “I love you,” it felt like a reminder, cementing the clarity growing in both their hearts.

Tutor didn’t know when his feelings began. From the first time they met, he didn’t exactly like Phii Fai’s face much. He was especially annoyed when Phii Fai started flirting with Hwahwa, and even more so when he learned they weren’t actually dating—just casually talking in a comfortable way.

But… everything seemed to change when Fighter came into the picture.

Maybe it started when Tutor was job-hunting, feeling exhausted and alone, thinking no one was there for him.

And then Phii Fai showed up, holding a bottle of water.

From that one bottle, his feelings grew clearer. Fai filled the empty, lonely spaces.

He filled the gaps in Tutor’s heart until it overflowed.

Tutor felt no different from Phii Fai.

Not even a little less than what Fighter felt.

“Tor loves you, Phii Fai… so much too.”

        WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 18:

“What are you thinking about?” Tutor asked.

“You’re the one who’s thinking something,” Fighter replied. “…” Tutor didn’t respond. The smaller figure looked up at the one still staring at him, their eyes locking in a way that both knew carried meaning.

“You already know, don’t you? A trip like this, just the two of us, isn’t just about eating, watching movies, or strolling around.”

Of course I know, Tutor thought. He wasn’t some naive kid who didn’t understand these things.

   In contrast, Fighter wasn’t entirely sure if what he’d just said was enough to sway the younger one. He’d admit without shame that this trip wasn’t just for fun.

He wanted to touch, to do the things one lover does for another.

He even wanted to hear the soft moans when he whispered the other’s name by their ear.

He wanted to do everything, and he wanted to be everything for the person in front of him.

Fighter gazed into those large, round eyes. His fingertips, gently brushing the cheek, slid down to the lips, the pale throat, and paused at the tip of the chin.

The trembling eyes that met his held a hint of fear, but it was overshadowed by Tutor’s curiosity. Especially when those lower lips were bitten and those eyes looked up at him—it felt like a challenge.

Tutor’s expression was like premium fuel tossed onto a blazing fire.

In that moment of locked gazes, it was Fighter who couldn’t hold out. He slowly leaned down toward Tutor, pressing a soft kiss onto those orange-hued lips. It started as a delicate kiss, filled with emotion, floating and blissful like a balloon drifting across a wide sky.

“Phii Fai,” a hoarse voice sounded as Fighter gently pushed Tutor to lie flat on the bed.

The worried expression prompted Fighter to press another kiss, murmuring against his lips.

“Just a kiss, Tor. Just a kiss is enough.” The younger one didn’t reply but tilted his face to meet the kiss, wrapping both arms around the broader man’s neck. Slender fingers threaded through his hair as he opened his mouth to accept the warm tongue slipping inside. The lingering kiss, with tongues brushing and teasing, was indulged in again and again.

This time, it was more intense than any before. Certainly more than the study sessions in the bedroom or the kiss they shared on the rooftop.

Because both their gazes and touches made it clear—no barrier could hold back the longing they felt for each other.

“Ugh, mm,” Tutor’s muffled sounds rose with the rhythm of thick hands and lips trailing over his skin. It was searing, like lava that swallowed everything when a drop of water touched it.

Especially when Fighter deliberately kissed and nibbled across his skin, marking his claim—Tutor felt like Phii Fai was driving him to the edge.

It was an undeniable truth. The tenderness and care in Fighter’s actions sparked a fire in Tutor, pushing his emotions to the brink of exploding. The rustle of clothes brushing against each other fueled the desire that had been suppressed by shyness, slowly breaking free.

“Ahh,” a moan escaped as Fighter’s lips pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh before returning to his lips once more.

But in the end, Fighter chose to stop, instead pressing a gentle kiss to Tutor’s eyelids.

“Okay…”

“…”

“That’s enough for now. Get some rest.” Fighter hadn’t planned to stop there. He wanted to go further, but he’d promised his junior it would only be a kiss. So, the only thing he could do was keep his word. He did this with the future in mind—going further when Tutor wasn’t fully ready wouldn’t bring either of them real joy.

No matter how prepared he was, having promised just a kiss, he’d stick to it.

Sure, today didn’t go all the way, but Fighter was confident that tomorrow, his junior would give in willingly.

“What’s with you?” Tutor lightly pushed Fighter’s chest.

“Planning to ditch me like this or what?”

“No way.”

“No way, my ass. Look at what you’re doing to me first.”

“I’m just keeping the promise I made to you.”

“Promise? Who even agreed to that?”

“…”

“Kissing me to make me feel something and then leaving just like that, huh?” Tutor’s whiny tone and serious expression made Fighter burst out laughing. “It’s not funny.”

Not only did Fighter get scolded, but he also got a playful smack on the arm.

“Sorry,” Fighter said, his gaze softening as he looked into the eyes in front of him. Both of them understood the meaning behind this shared look.

They knew what it was, but Fighter still wanted to make sure, to ask the younger one if he was certain about it.

“You sure about this?”

“Mm.”

“No regrets later, right?”

“Nope.”

“…”

“Definitely not.”

In the moment their eyes met, Tutor’s expression and gaze showed he was just as eager for Fighter’s touch.

“But…”

“What?”

“Can you turn off the light first?”

“It’s dark enough already. The lamp’s not even that bright, Tor.”

“But it’s still too bright for doing this.”

“But I want to see your face too.”

“My face is just the same as always.”

“Not true,” Fighter said with a sly tone. “It’s sexier.”

“How would you know?”

“I’ve imagined it before.”

“Crazy.”

“Haha.”

“But… I really want you to turn off one of the lamps, please, just one.”

“…”

“Please,” Tutor pleaded softly, making the older guy chuckle and plant a kiss on his forehead before walking over to switch off one of the lamps as requested. When the light went out, Tutor’s eyes couldn’t adjust to the darkness that quickly, but he could still see Phii Fai grabbing something from the table— something he’d noticed earlier—along with something from his bag. “What’d you grab?”

“You’ll see.”

“Condoms?”

“More than that.”

“What’re you prepping for?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just in case I need to prep up too.”

“Hmm?” Fighter raised an eyebrow, looking curiously at the smirking Tutor. Without saying anything more, Tutor tilted his head up, brushing his lips against Fighter’s, his hands wrapping around the older guy’s neck as if inviting him to lean closer. “This time, let me make you feel good first, okay?”

And so, they kissed again. This time, it wasn’t as gentle as before—it was intense, driven by raw emotion. Tongues intertwined, lost in each other’s mouths. The smaller guy responded without hesitation, pushing Fighter to sit up before sliding onto his lap. Tutor’s legs wrapped skillfully around Fighter’s waist, earning a grin from the older guy.

The kiss continued seamlessly. Tutor’s thin basketball shorts and Fighter’s single towel felt so flimsy that the hardness between them was unmistakable, making Tutor blush again.

“Mmm…” A soft moan escaped as he felt something growing.

Was Tutor embarrassed? Honestly, insanely embarrassed. He could feel his entire body and face burning red. The air conditioner, set below twenty degrees, did nothing to cool the chaotic emotions swirling inside him.

Fighter’s hands peeled off Tutor’s thin sleep shirt, kissing his pale shoulder as a large hand slipped into his shorts.

“Ugh… ah,” a faint moan slipped out as that thick hand began moving slowly up and down. The coolness of those fingertips was enough to make Tutor grab onto Fighter’s strong arm for support. The older guy’s lips kept working, matching the hand that was picking up its pace. “Phii Fai…”

The sound of his name being called, paired with those halflidded eyes, was more than enough to spur Fighter on, quickening the pace of his hand to match Tutor’s desires. Too shy to hold eye contact, Tutor buried his face in the broad shoulder, letting Fighter take charge. The tingling sensation in his stomach grew stronger by the second.

“Phii Fai,” Tutor’s soft moan seemed to urge him to go faster than he already was. “Faster.”

“How much faster?”

“Much… much faster, ah!” Just as Tutor’s grip tightened, nearing his peak, Fighter did something utterly unforgivable.

He slowed down.

Tutor pursed his lips, glaring at Fighter with a look of dissatisfaction. In the end, he reached down to take matters into his own hands, only for Fighter, the cunning one, to swat his hand away.

“Phii Fai, you’re so mean,” Tutor said weakly, his face looking like he could barely hold on, his pleading eyes fixed on Fighter until he softened.

“Alright, alright. Not mean anymore,” Fighter replied, gently pushing Tutor to lie flat on the bed. This time, he kept his promise not to tease. His lips moved from kissing Tutor’s neck down to his chest, his tongue flicking over a sensitive spot before trailing lower to the center of his body.

“Phii Fai,” Tutor looked up, as if seeking reassurance, but Fighter didn’t respond with words. His actions were enough to show how much he wanted to please him.

Soon, the rhythm picked up again. Tutor writhed and tensed with every movement of Fighter’s lips. When the sensation became overwhelming, he hurriedly reached to pull Fighter away, but it was too late. “Ah, Phii Fai, I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Fighter said, wiping something from his lips with his thick hand before smirking at the panting figure on the bed. “My turn now, khrap,” Fighter said, reaching for the prepared items and coating his fingers with the gel before sliding them into the sensitive passage.

“You brought that too, huh?” Tutor asked.

“Of course,” Fighter replied, raising an eyebrow as if to say he never missed a detail when it came to these things.

“You’re getting too sneaky, man,” Tutor said, half-jokingly lifting his leg as if to kick Fighter. The older one must’ve been smug about his thorough preparation—condoms and cooling gel included. But instead of a kick, Tutor’s leg was redirected, gently placed over Fighter’s shoulder as he leaned down to kiss his calf softly.

“This angle is perfect.”

“…” Tutor didn’t reply, but the flush on his face told Fighter he was embarrassed. Not wasting any time, Fighter used every second to guide Tutor through new sensations. One finger became two, then three.

“Ah…” Tutor’s face contorted, and he raised the back of his hand to cover it.

“You okay? Don’t tense up, Tor.”

“Ngh… yeah, I’m fine,” Tutor nodded, swallowing hard. He let himself surrender to the sensations Fighter was giving him. Despite the sharp sting deep inside, it was nothing compared to the waves of pleasure coursing through him. His body gradually opened up, until a jolt ran through him as Fighter hit a particular spot. “Phii Fai… come on, you can do it now.”

Fighter nodded, reaching for a condom and expertly tearing it open before putting it on. One hand pulled Tutor’s waist closer, and Tutor looked into his eyes, raising a hand to gently rub Fighter’s firm stomach, as if signaling to take it slow.

Everything proceeded smoothly. The larger man slowly eased himself in, the tight grip and Tutor’s hands clenching his stomach causing Fighter to pause.

“Phii Fai, ngh…” Tears welled up at the corners of Tutor’s eyes, leaving Fighter at a loss. He almost pulled away, but Tutor reached out with one hand, grasping for Fighter’s. “Your hand.”    Their hands intertwined, as if seeking reassurance.

“Phii Fai.”

“Yes?”

“Kiss… kiss me.”

They kissed again, as gently as Fighter could manage. When the kiss ended, Tutor wrapped his other arm tightly around Fighter’s back.

“Come in…”

“What?”

“Come in… come inside me.”

Fighter’s feelings were like a balloon filled with gas, soaring high into the sky. He moved forward again, and Tutor’s grip on his skin conveyed a sharp pain.

It wasn’t his pain, though—it was his junior’s.

“Ah… ngh, Fai.”

“Sorry, is it enough? Want to stop?”

“No,” Tutor shook his head lightly. “Just stay with me.”

“…”

“Stay with Tor, that’s enough.”

“I’m here, right here, not going anywhere,” Fighter’s trembling voice soothed with tender kisses, gentle enough to ease the pain being stirred. He waited until Tutor was ready before moving slowly, watching his face for any signs of discomfort. His free hand wrapped around Tutor’s body, moving in sync.

His hips moved faster, more forcefully, matching the pleading, breathless sounds mixed with Fighter’s low moans. The sounds blended into an incoherent mess. Tutor lifted his legs, wrapping them around Fighter’s waist like a final anchor.

They looked at each other, and in that moment, they felt incredibly lucky to have met the person in front of them.

Lucky to have known each other.

   And lucky to feel this way about this person.

   “Ah, ahh… Phii Fai,” at the end of the dreamy haze, Tutor reached the horizon first, followed by the older one with a few more movements to catch up. Of course, it could’ve led to a second, third, or fourth round, but in the end, Fighter chose to press a kiss to Tutor’s eyelid and pull away from the smaller figure instead.

“Wanna take a bath, Tor?”

“I want to, but I can’t get up,” the younger one panted, on the verge of falling asleep from exhaustion. His body was drenched in sweat, sticky and uncomfortable, but Tutor was too tired to follow Fighter to bathe together.

“Whoa!” Tutor yelped as Fighter scooped him up, making him float. “What are you doing, Phii Fai?”

“I’ve got hot water ready in the tub. You can soak in it,” the older one said, carrying Tutor to the bathtub and gently lowering him into it. The warmth of the water noticeably eased his fatigue.

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Fighter ruffled Tutor’s hair before stepping outside. He returned with a chair from the balcony and some medicine in hand. “Take these first.”

“Where’d you get the medicine?” Tutor asked with a slightly suspicious tone and expression, making Fighter smile fondly.

“Your bag.”

“…” Tutor went quiet, saying nothing more. He just reached out to take the medicine and a glass of water from Fighter and swallowed them.

“I’m not the only one who came prepared, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“Because the fever reducers and anti-inflammatories you brought say someone around here came prepared too.”

“Phii Fai.”

“Yes, khrap?”

“Stop teasing. I’m begging you.”

“Alright, no more teasing,” Fighter gave a faint smile, then took the glass from Tutor and set it on the floor.

After that, the smaller one propped his arms on the edge of the tub, resting his chin on them tiredly. His eyelids closed as a large hand gently stroked his head.

“Does it hurt?”

“…” The one asked didn’t answer, instead pressing his lips tightly together, making Fighter chuckle.

“Probably doesn’t hurt, huh? Moaning that loud, it’s gotta be more pleasure than pain.”

“You talk too much,” Tutor grumbled, splashing water at

Fighter. “You can go sleep. I’ll come in when I’m done soaking.

No need to sit here keeping me company.”

“No way, I want to sit here as your boyfriend,” Tutor shook his head and closed his eyes again. The warm feeling wrapped around his heart, beating so hard it felt like it might burst out of his chest. This feeling was so good he didn’t want it to fade.

Just the two of us.

   Just each other was enough.

           WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 17:

Deawdry changed the group name from “Gang of Jerks” to “(Fai) The Ultimate Jerk”

Out of nowhere, a notification from the high school group chat, which they rarely used, popped up on Fighter’s screen. Deawdry had changed the group name to something with his name in it, and Fighter couldn’t help but ask why.

 

   Fighter; What’s your deal, Deawdry? 

   

   Deawdry: What’s with your private IG? That latest post— what’s up with that?

  

Fighter had a private Instagram account that only a handful of close friends followed. Most of the posts there were casual— scenery, streets, or random people. But last night, for the first time, he posted a picture of Tutor. Not counting the public IG where he’d shared photos of Tutor in a mascot costume, because the private account was his truly personal space.

 

   Deawdry: Posting on your private IG is one thing, but that pic you posted is next-level.

   

   Fighter: Next-level what?

   

   Deawdry: Next-level adorable, you jerk.

   The picture Fighter posted was of his younger companion, face buried in a white blanket, with only their eyes peeking out. Not only was their face tucked into the blanket, but they were also adorably resting their head on his arm. When the photo was taken, a bit of his jawline was visible, but not the whole thing.

Fighter: So what? It’s just a picture

   

   Deawdry: Liar!!!

   Since when did you start lying to your friends, huh?

   

   Dew chimes in: @deww, is the person in his latest post the same one who was with him at that job thing?

   

deww: Yup, that’s the one.

 

Deawdry: See! How is that any different from what I said!!!!

   

   TOMON: The annoying thing is how he doesn’t update his friends.

   Back then, he was all, “It’s nothing, blah blah.”

   Now he’s taking the kid to the beach, huh? What’s that about, Phii?

   What’s really going on?

   

   Fighter: Nothing’s going on, I just took the kid along

   

   Deawdry: Kid???? KID?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

   Back then, didn’t I hear you call them “that guy” or something?

   

   TOMON: His heart’s not his own anymore, that’s what.

   From “that guy” to “kid,” what’s next?

   

Fighter: Whatever the kid wants it to be

 

Deawdry: A dog, maybe?

   

   deww: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

   

   TOMON: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

   And after that, they spammed stickers like crazy. I was about to mute them when I saw Dew’s question.

 

   deww: So, how was last night?

   

   Alright: Fighter

   

   Deawdry: Have you guys hooked up yet?

    

   Fighter: Jerk

   

   TOMON: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

   

Fighter: Laugh it up

 

deww: Can I ask something serious for a sec, Fai?

   

   Deawdry: Asking if we’ve hooked up counts as serious?

   

   deww: No, you idiot! I was just gonna ask if the kid actually likes you.

   

   Fighter: Would he have come with me if he didn’t?

   

   Deawdry: Just because he came doesn’t mean he’s into you, you dumbass.

   

   TOMON: Maybe he came out of politeness?

   

   Deawdry: Didn’t want to hurt his friend’s feelings, you know.

   But he hasn’t said a single word about liking you, right?

   

   Fighter: Yeah

But you can feel these things through actions, can’t you?

 

deww: Feeling it through actions but never saying it or admitting he likes you even once? Sounds like it’s not the real deal.

   

   TOMON: True.

   

   deww: Real talk, Fai. Whether or not the kid says he likes you isn’t the main issue. Have you ever told him how you feel?

   If you keep dragging your feet, someone else might snatch him up first.

  

As Dew finished, the group flooded the chat with another wave of LINE stickers. Fighter let out an annoyed sigh, sat up, and glanced at the person who showed no signs of waking up.

Yesterday, Fighter let the guy sleep to his heart’s content. Even took him out for dinner in the evening, only for him to come back and sleep more.

This morning, seeing someone who’s usually an early riser still buried in the blankets, Fighter couldn’t help but shake his head with fond amusement.

 

“You awake, Tor? You’ve been sleeping all day,” Fighter asked the figure still buried in a pile of white blankets. Tutor stirred slightly, groggily sitting up from the bed with his eyes still closed, swaying as if he might collapse back onto the mattress. Fighter, watching him, couldn’t resist reaching out to ruffle the messy hair of the person in front of him. The clean, fair skin and the eyes peeking out from the collar of his shirt were another striking feature he couldn’t look away from. He wondered if, should anything mar that fair skin, it could be him who left the mark.

“Awake yet?” The large hand resting on the smaller one’s head gently ruffled it, as if trying to wake him again.

“…” Tutor didn’t answer. He just shifted, resting his face on Fighter’s shoulder, eyes still closed.

Was he used to this kind of clinginess from the younger one? Never. Not even once.

“Tor.”

“Mm.”

“You really gonna keep sleeping?” Fighter asked the drowsy figure on his shoulder, stroking his head.

“Five more minutes.”

“Can’t give you that,” Fighter teased, making the one leaning on his shoulder turn to glare at him with mild annoyance.

“Just five minutes. Why so stingy?”

“We agreed to go out together,” Fighter said with a sly smirk, looking at Tutor. “You know, Tor, since we got here, you haven’t acted like my boyfriend at all.”

“Don’t use that word,” Tutor, who had seemed half-asleep, sat up and narrowed his eyes at him. That stubborn face made Fighter want to pin him down on the bed and tease him right then and there.

“Then what word should I use?”

“Tutor or Tor is enough.”

“But I really want to say ‘boyfriend,’ boyfriend.”

“…” The younger one stayed silent, looking away.

“Your ears are red, boyfriend.”

“It’s hot.”

“The AC’s at twenty degrees. Really hot, huh?”

“…”

“Look at me,” Fighter used his fingertip to gently lift the smaller one’s chin, making their eyes meet. “If I can’t call you boyfriend, can I call you darling instead?”

“So this is the kind of person you are, huh?”

“What kind?”

“Such a pain in the ass, seriously,” Tutor said, shoving Fighter’s face in annoyance.

“Oww! That hurts!” The guy who got pushed wailed dramatically, flopping onto the bed as if in agony.

“Overdramatic much,” Tutor shook his head, ignoring the guy acting like he was in pain. He got up from the bed, grabbed a towel, and headed to the bathroom. He didn’t even care how loudly Fighter was groaning, because once he was in the bathroom, the sounds following him made it clear Phii Fai was just faking it.

“Hurry up and shower, Tor. We’ve got a lot of places to hit today.”

“I know, I know,” Tutor muttered, looking at himself in the mirror. The redness on his cheeks and ears was proof that the guy outside had way too much influence on his heart.

Way too much.

Whether it was his words, his actions, or even his gaze.

“Where are we going today, Phii Fai?” Tutor, dressed in a tshirt, shorts, and flip-flops, raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun, looking at the guy fiddling with a camera.

“Just walking around the city, taking some photos. Later this afternoon, we’ll head to the island. I’ve already booked the tickets,” Fighter replied, lifting his camera to snap a shot of Tutor. At first, Tutor wasn’t used to having the older guy constantly pointing a camera at him for every little thing, but eventually, he just had to get used to it. The guy even took pictures while he was eating. Maybe it was because of the joyful smile Fighter had while snapping photos of crabs or whatever that made Tutor not want to protest too much.

“The island, huh?”

“Being a smartass, are we? Watch it, or you’re gonna get it.” Fighter raised his hand as if to bop Tutor on the head, but Tutor blocked it just in time, raising an eyebrow cheekily as if to say he wasn’t fazed. Of course, Fighter’s other hand still managed to ruffle his hair anyway.

The two of them wandered around the city, taking photos, grabbing street food here and there, and even climbing up to pray at a temple on the hill. The view was peaceful, even if the sun was a bit intense. It was fun, partly because of the person by his side.

“Smile for me.”

Having someone who kept turning to check in, asking this and that all the time.

   Having someone who, whenever he turned around, was always standing beside him or just behind him.

   It felt… really good.

   So good that he couldn’t help but wonder how he’d feel if, in the future, Fai wasn’t there with him anymore.

   “What’s wrong? Why the long face? Hot?” Fighter walked over, placing the back of his hand on Tutor’s forehead. “You feeling okay?”

“Nah,” Tutor flashed a wide grin, brushing off the worries in his mind and scrunching his nose. “Just hungry, Phii Fai. Wanna grab something to eat before we get on the boat?”

“What do you feel like eating? Noodles?”

“Tea! Tea!”

Before Fighter could finish speaking, rain came out of nowhere, pouring down without warning. They, along with others nearby, scrambled for cover. Many ducked into shops or convenience stores. Fighter was no different, pulling the smaller figure by the hand into a large convenience store.

“It’s coming down hard,” Fighter grumbled, eyeing the relentless rain that showed no signs of stopping.

“Yeah.”

“Will we even get to visit the island like this? I went through the trouble of booking a boat.”

“Probably not. With rain this heavy, they won’t let the boats go out.”

“Ugh, what a bummer.” Fighter looked like a big, sulky dog, his pout oddly endearing.

“You really wanted to go, huh?”

“Of course. We came all this way.”

“Then let’s go tomorrow.”

“But what if it rains again tomorrow?”

“If it rains again, we’ll try another time,” the smaller one said, shaking their wet hair as if to flick off the raindrops clinging to their head.

“You’d come with me again?” Fighter asked, his voice tinged with excitement.

“If not with you, then who?” Tutor’s reply brought a smile to Fighter’s face, almost as if Natee were there.

“You are…”

“What?” Tutor looked up, raising an eyebrow as if to question.

Cute.

   So damn cute.

   “Nothing,” Fighter brushed it off, knowing if he said it out loud, the younger one would get so shy they’d lose their natural charm. In the end, he just reached out to wipe the wet hair from their face. The damp strands, with droplets trickling down their cheeks and hair, made the person in front of him look… sexier.

But none of it compared to the few words the younger one had said.

If not with you, then who?

 

7:27 PM

   The post-rain atmosphere cleared the sky, making the stars stand out vividly against the black canvas. A cool sea breeze brushed their faces, sending their hair fluttering in the wind. Tutor and Fighter were strolling along the beach in front of the hotel after returning from the walking street.

Fighter loved moments like this.

And he liked it even more when Tutor turned to smile and look at him. The only thing that bothered him was that the guy refused to wear his shoes.

“You should put your shoes on, Tor. Why are you carrying them? You’ll end up stepping on glass or something.”

“No way, Phii Fai. I haven’t seen any glass since we started walking.”

“How would you know? It’s this dark. There’s no way to tell what’s buried in the sand. Just put them on.”

“Let me go a bit longer, okay?”

“If you step on glass, I’m gonna make it worse,” Fighter grumbled softly, only for Tutor to flash him another wide smile. Tutor’s bare feet splashed through the sand and seawater with obvious joy, his beaming expression reflecting genuine happiness that Fighter could feel.

Fighter wasn’t fooling himself into thinking that Tutor’s big smile was all because of him.

Part of that relaxed grin came from the fact that Tutor was out on a trip, finally getting some rest.

He got it—working hard for years had kept Tutor from going out with anyone. Now that he finally had a chance to have fun, Tutor seemed happier than usual. Seeing him like this, Fighter couldn’t help but think that if Tutor took Phii Tong’s advice and quit his job, he’d probably live a much happier life.

But as expected, Tutor refused to quit. He’d explained his perspective: if he left his job, the family would be left with only one option. If something happened to Phii Tong someday, there’d be no one left to support the family.

So, he chose to keep working, even if it meant cutting back on hours.

“Ow!” A yelp came from behind. Fighter turned to look at the person who was supposed to be following him but had stopped, standing still with a guilty expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Tutor denied, lifting one foot slightly.

“I asked what’s wrong.”

“If I tell you, promise not to get mad?”

“You stepped on glass, didn’t you?”

“Not sure.”

“Seriously, I just warned you,” Fighter rushed over in a panic, crouching down to check Tutor’s foot. But it was too dark to see clearly. In the moment, he didn’t think to use his phone’s flashlight, too focused on grabbing his junior’s foot to inspect the wound. “Lift it up so I can see.”

“…”

“Put it on my lap.”

Tutor steadied himself with one hand on Fighter’s shoulder and placed the foot that had stepped on something onto his senior’s lap.

“Can’t see a thing, but it doesn’t look like it’s bleeding.”

“Then it’s probably not a big deal, right?”

“But your foot still hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Mm,” Tutor nodded, admitting it readily.

“No more taking off your shoes to walk on the sand at night. I warn you about stuff, so listen sometimes instead of just being stubborn,” Fighter shook his head at the younger one, his face showing mild frustration, making Tutor feel guilty.

“Phii Fai.”

“What?”

“Don’t scold me. I already feel bad,” the younger one said in a soft, pleading tone, his guilty expression melting more than half of Fighter’s irritation.

“Fine, fine. Let’s go check the wound in the room first to see how bad it is,” Fighter said, turning his back to Tutor. “Get on… piggyback.”

Tutor didn’t dare defy the older one too much. Though he felt embarrassed about being carried on someone’s back in front of others, he eventually climbed onto Fighter’s back, resting his chin on his shoulder in a clingy way. “What a nagger.”

“You’re just as good at being stubborn. When I teach you something, try remembering it.”

“Got it already.”

“Better mean it.” The one carrying someone almost his size on his back glanced at the side of Tutor’s face, catching a slightly skeptical look. But when Tutor didn’t say anything back, Fighter just carried him back to the room.

Good thing Tutor had brought first-aid supplies, or he’d have to waste time going back downstairs.

“Sit on the bed,” Fighter said to Tutor, who had just come out of the bathroom after being told to wash his feet.

“You don’t have to check it, Phii Fai,” Tutor mumbled to himself softly as he sat on the bed. “The wound’s not that deep.”

“No way. We’re checking it first,” Fighter insisted, sitting on the floor. He pulled Tutor’s foot onto his lap, but Tutor hesitated, trying to pull it back.

“But it’s really not bad, Phii Fai.”

“Even if it’s not bad, I need to see it’s not deep,” Fighter said. Tutor looked a bit uneasy but finally let his foot rest on Fighter’s lap.

Truthfully, Fighter had suspected from the start that it wasn’t a serious wound. But he didn’t expect it to be this minor—just a small scratch.

“Just this little scratch, and you acted like you stepped on a landmine. So dramatic.”

“You’re the one being dramatic first, Phii Fai.”

“With the way you were crying, anyone would think you got cut by glass.”

“It was dark, okay? How was I supposed to know if it was a seashell or broken glass? You’re nagging like an old man, Phii. Any more of this, and I’ll start thinking you’re my dad.”

“You want me to be your dad, huh?”

“…”

“A dad who’s not actually a dad,” Fighter said with a sly eyebrow wiggle and a mischievous look. Seeing that, Tutor couldn’t help but kick at Fighter in annoyance. “Whoa, Tutor, getting bold enough to kick now, huh?”

“You’re the one talking nonsense.”

“Pretty gutsy, using force like that,” the older guy said in a chilling tone, grabbing Tutor’s leg and pulling it toward himself.

“Phii Fai…” Tutor’s voice came out as he felt the warm breath and lips of the older guy inching closer to the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. “Let go of my leg first.”

But saying that now was like shouting at a wall. Fighter didn’t listen. Instead, he stood up, pulling Tutor’s leg to wrap around his waist. Just as Tutor tried to squirm away, Fighter moved to straddle him.

A larger hand pinned Tutor’s wrists to the bed. Those cunning eyes locked onto his, making his heart race wildly. The face inching closer felt like danger was seconds away.

“I… want to shower first,” Tutor finally said, twisting to the side. Even as he dodged, he could still feel the brush of Fighter’s nose and warm breath grazing his cheek.

“…”

“Go ahead.”

“Fine, go shower,” Fighter said, flopping onto the bed beside him and closing his eyes slowly. Tutor got up and headed to the bathroom instead. He didn’t know if Phii Fai was mad or not. He wasn’t even sure if Fighter might’ve misunderstood, thinking he didn’t want to do anything.

But how could he explain? It wasn’t that Tutor was scared or anything.

He already knew that coming on this trip, it was normal for two people who liked each other to have sex.

But it was pure embarrassment that made him run off to regroup like this.

Creak.

When Tutor opened the bathroom door, the room’s lights were off, leaving only the soft glow of a small bedside lamp. Phii Fai was outside talking on the phone. When he came back, he went straight to the bathroom to shower.

Tutor thought Phii Fai was probably upset about being rejected earlier. The way he didn’t say a word and disappeared into the bathroom made him wonder if he was angry. But that thought vanished the moment his eyes landed on a familiar-looking box tucked under Fighter’s wallet.

At first, when Tutor came to check, he wasn’t sure if it was what he thought, but upon closer inspection, he realized Fighter wasn’t the type to forget something like this.

Damn… seeing this, he couldn’t help but want to ask Phii Fai outright how much preparation went into this trip. What else was in that suitcase that he didn’t know about? Because Tutor was certain the box of condoms casually tucked under the wallet wasn’t something bought while they were strolling in town. Phii Fai had to have brought it from home.

Phii Fai, oh Phii Fai… you’re getting way too cunning.

   Always one step ahead, huh? If Tutor went to buy something himself, would it be like a challenge to let Phii Fai know he wasn’t just going to stay on the bottom?

   What to do? Should he go buy something himself?

   “I thought you were already asleep,” Fighter said.

“!!?”

“Why’d you jump like that?” The guy who’d just come out of the shower asked, a towel wrapped around his waist, one hand holding a smaller towel to dry his hair.

“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep,” Tutor said, putting the item he’d been holding back in its place before sitting on the bed, acting like nothing was up. But the more he tried to play it cool, the more suspicious he seemed. Even though the dim light from the lamp made it hard to see Fighter’s face clearly, Tutor caught the small smile when Fighter glanced at the box under his wallet.

“Really?” Fighter said, walking over to where Tutor sat on the bed. His strong fingers gently brushed Tutor’s cheek, a tender touch that contrasted with the intensity in his eyes.

“…”

“If you can’t sleep, then… how about we find something to do to pass the time?”

        WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 16:

“Hey, Tor, Day, you guys came to this event too?” Zen asked as Tutor and Day reached the ticket booth. Today, the football club was holding a concert to raise funds to buy sports equipment for kids at a rural school.

“Yeah, Hwa invited me, and this guy next to me forced me to come,” Tutor replied with a bored expression. Normally, he wouldn’t attend an event this crowded.

“Man, you’re something else,” Day said, playfully shoving

Tutor’s head. “No one should have to force you to come to this. Your two friends, Zon and Saifah, are performing, and you wouldn’t show up to support them? That’s just too much.”

“I came because I knew they were performing,” Tutor muttered under his breath before turning to Zen and Tee again. “By the way, how much are the tickets?”

“A hundred each,” Natee answered. “But if you want to donate more, just drop it in this box.”

“Alright.” Tutor pulled out some cash, stuffed it into the donation box, and handed two hundred-baht bills to Tee. “So why are you and Zen selling tickets for the football club? I thought you two weren’t in it.”

“Blame Tai and Jia. They forced us to sell tickets. We were supposed to just enjoy the concert, but those guys made us work the booth.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yup. You two better head inside now. It’s getting crowded,” Tee said. Tutor nodded, took the tickets from Zen’s hand, and walked into the auditorium.

The place was starting to fill up with people claiming their spots. The dim, muted lighting made it hard to see clearly, and the chatter mixed with the microphone testing on stage was so loud they practically had to shout to talk.

“Have you seen Hwa?”

“Not yet. No idea where she’s at. Let’s call her,” Tutor and Day searched for Hwahwa for a while until they finally called and found out she was standing almost right in front of the stage. “You’re late, Day,” Hwahwa said with a slightly pouty tone.

“Sorry, the professor asked me and Tor to help clean up, so we got delayed a bit. Don’t be mad at me, okay?” Tutor watched the scene with a hint of surprise. Especially when Day placed a hand on Hwahwa’s head and gently ruffled her hair—it made him wonder if their relationship was more than ordinary.

With Day… Tutor had always known he felt something more than friendship for Hwahwa.

   But with Hwahwa, he wasn’t sure when it started.

   Until she caught his curious gaze and scrunched her nose in a cute way.

   “Don’t tease me, Tor.”

“Not teasing,” Tutor shrugged casually. “Just curious when it started.”

“Feelings or the relationship?”

“Day! What are you saying?” Hwahwa said, playfully hitting Day, who laughed in response.

“I just wanted to know what Tor was curious about. If it’s feelings, that’s been there for a while. The relationship? Not that long.”

“So, you’re dating?”

“Yup, we’re dating,” Tutor nodded with a teasing grin, earning another playful smack from Hwahwa.

“What the heck? I can’t even nod?”

“Nope,” Hwahwa pouted, then turned to cling to the person beside her. “Tor’s bullying me, Day.”

Tutor looked at his two friends, now a couple, and couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Maybe because all he’d ever wanted for Hwahwa was her happiness. Seeing her smile so brightly made him happy too.

“Oh, that’s Phii Fai over there,” Tutor’s thoughts paused at

Hwahwa’s voice and her glance toward someone with a group of friends.

“Should we go say hi?”

“Nah,” Hwahwa replied to Day with a slight pout, making Day reach over and pinch her lips affectionately.

“Why not?”

“Just don’t feel like it. I’m over it.”

“Are you mad because he couldn’t give you a reason why he started pursuing you?”

“Not at all,” Hwahwa denied, looking straight at Fighter’s group. Suddenly, a woman walked up and clung to Fighter’s arm with familiarity, making Hwahwa huff in annoyance. It wasn’t that she felt anything, but she was just confused—was this really the woman Fighter liked? The one who made him so hesitant and confused?

Flash!

The lights in the auditorium went out, followed by excited murmurs from the crowd.

“Hello, everyone! Welcome to the football club’s charity concert!!!” The emcee’s voice from the stage drew everyone’s attention, including Tutor, Day, and Hwahwa. “As you all know, this is a charity event. Every baht and satang donated will go toward buying sports equipment for kids in rural areas, with no deductions whatsoever.”

The emcees on stage were Soda and Luktan. They began by explaining the objectives of the event. After their introduction, Soda and Luktan announced the duo voted to open the concert tonight.

Saifah and Zon.

   Tutor watched the scene in front of him with disbelief. He couldn’t believe that Zon, who was usually engrossed in writing novels, could step up to play the guitar and sing so captivatingly. Zon was the type who didn’t like standing out in a crowd, didn’t enjoy performing, and generally avoided activities altogether. But today was different. Zon had stepped forward, embracing a new world that brought a smile to his face.

Maybe the guitar and music could become a new source of happiness for him.

Truthfully, Tutor wasn’t thrilled about Zon’s novel-writing. It stressed Zon out too much with view counts and an obsession with perfection. Especially lately, with Zon’s idea that they were both somehow trapped in a novel, Tutor wanted him to break free from that mindset.

“Look at that woman,” Hwahwa said, nodding toward Fighter’s group again. “So clingy. How could Phii Fai like someone like that?”

“Hwa,” Day, standing beside her, tugged at his girlfriend’s cheek. “Don’t judge other people’s preferences. Everyone’s likes and loves are different, so we shouldn’t look down on anyone for it, got it?”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Stop making that scary face already.”

Tutor no longer paid attention to what Hwahwa and Day were saying. His gaze was fixed on someone standing out among the crowd.

   To say he felt nothing would be a lie.

   Because the dull ache in his heart right now told him he was feeling… dislike.

   “Hey, Tor, where you off to?”

“I’m heading back. Got a bit of a headache.”

“Want me and Hwa to drop you at your dorm?”

“Nah, you two enjoy the concert. I’ll catch you tomorrow,” Tutor said with a smile, giving Day a light pat on the shoulder before turning to walk away.

As that small back moved away from the auditorium, someone caught sight of Tutor just in time. In the split second Fighter spotted him, he noticed the calm, almost indifferent look in Tutor’s eyes. Fighter had to admit—he was scared.

   Scared that Tutor might misunderstand.

   Scared that everything he’d done so far would go to waste again.

   In the end, all he could do was hurry out of there, pushing through the crowd blocking his way to catch up with the smaller figure walking further and further away.

   “Tor!!” Fighter shouted at the top of his lungs, calling out to that familiar back. He wasn’t even sure if Tutor would stop, but when he did and turned around, a wave of relief washed over Fighter almost instantly.

Because in that moment, seeing Tutor’s slightly annoyed face and those displeased eyes, Fighter knew—Tutor was jealous. That sulky look screamed, I didn’t like what you did back there.

Those eyes were so much better than that indifferent gaze. Not feeling anything hurt far worse.

Maybe he shouldn’t feel this way, but honestly, Tutor’s reaction felt like confirmation that their hearts were aligned.

“What’s with that grin?” And yeah, Fighter hadn’t even realized he was smiling. It must’ve come from the mischievous thoughts that popped into his head just seconds ago.

Thoughts of taking Tutor somewhere.

Just the two of them. Just him and Tutor.

“I’ve got a bit of a headache, uh, don’t worry… If the professor hands out any sheets, grab one for me, okay? Yeah, see you,” Tutor let out a relieved sigh. It was the first time he’d lied to a friend about something so trivial, but what else could he do? When he thought about that sulky, pleading face from last night, he couldn’t help but soften.

“Who was that on the phone?” The person in his thoughts asked, after loading all the bags into the back of the car. Fighter walked up to stand in front of Tutor, taking off his expensive sunglasses and tucking them into his collar. His thick hand reached out to gently brush the hair covering Tutor’s eyes, a fond gesture.

“Day.”

“Calling about what?”

“You’ve got the nerve to ask? You already know what he was calling about,” Tutor said, and the guy in front of him broke into a grin almost instantly.

“Just tell him you’re out on a date with me.”

“Very funny. Who’s gonna say something like that?”

“Telling the truth isn’t funny at all.”

“But Day and Hwa still don’t know…”

“About us two, khrap?” Fighter smirked, his sly gaze completely untrustworthy. But more than that, it was the way he ended his sentence with “khrap.” Normally, when he spoke, it was in his usual teasing, playful tone as Phii Fai, but this time it felt different.

“Khrap, huh?”

“Yeah, doesn’t it sound cuter like this?”

“Nope.”

“Harsh, man.”

“I’m just not used to it. Go back to talking like you usually do.”

“It’s only been four days and three nights, Tutor. Can’t you get used to it for me, khrap?” Fighter placed his hand on Tutor’s head, gently ruffling it. His pleading expression seemed to beg for another chance to accept the new offer. If Tutor gave in again, his already racing heart might just overwork itself.

“No way.”

“Why not? Are you shy?”

“…”

“Holy crap, you are!” Fighter’s face lit up with disbelief as he moved his hand from ruffling Tutor’s head to softly brushing his cheek. “Shy because of me, khrap? Your face is all red and green.”

“…Phii Fai.”

“Yes, Nong Tor?”

“Stop messing around, seriously,” Tutor said, his face looking like he might cry. “If you don’t stop, I’m really going back to the dorm.”

“Okay, okay!” Fighter burst out laughing again at the sight of his little brother’s expression. “I’ll stop messing around. Let’s hurry up, or you’ll miss your flight.”

Tutor nodded and opened the car door. He let out a sigh, as if trying to slow down his racing heart. If only he’d turned down Phii Fai last night.

“What’s with that smile?”

“Nothing. I just want you to hear me out first. That person you saw? They’re nothing to me, Tor. Just a friend, that’s all.”

“Whether they’re something or not doesn’t really have anything to do with me, does it, Phii Fai?”

“Tor… you know damn well it does.”

“…”

“Don’t be mad, okay? I’ll make it up to you by taking you on a trip out of town.”

“What does a trip have to do with anything?”

“It’s to make up for it, plus it’ll prove how I feel.”

Prove what, Phii Fai? What exactly are you planning?”

“I’m not planning anything. I’m really confused. Don’t you remember when I said confused feelings need to be tested often? This time, it’ll probably give the clearest answer. If we’re really meant to be… we’ll just be together. But if not, we’ll go back to being like siblings.”

“…”

“Come on, Tor, let’s go together, please.”

“Fine.”

At that moment, Tutor agreed because of Phii Fai’s dejected expression. It was so sad and pleading that he couldn’t help but soften. But thinking back, he realized he’d overlooked that behind that pitiful look was a dangerously sly smile.

   What a mistake, Tutor.

   He really shouldn’t have fallen into his senior’s trap.

   2:21 P.M.

   “Finally here,” Tutor said, collapsing onto the bed in the middle of the room, exhausted.

The journey today had been so grueling that he swore he’d never pick a “beautiful” hotel based on Fighter’s recommendations again. The hotel they chose took nearly two hours to reach from the airport, and to top it off, the van’s tire blew out halfway. In the end, it took almost five to six hours to get to the place.

“You’re seriously going to sleep?” Fighter asked, even though it was obvious Tutor was about to crash. The way he burrowed into the blankets and rubbed his face against the soft pillow— did he really think Tutor was going to go for a stroll with him? “Tutor?”

“Ugh, yeah, I’m sleeping.”

“What the heck? We came all this way, and you’re just going to nap in an air-conditioned room?”

“I’m exhausted, Phii Fai, and sleepy.”

“So, is this my trip or yours?”

“Your trip,” Tutor mumbled to the guy now sitting on the bed. “But I’m still tired. Let’s talk about it later this evening.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too selfish?”

“Just indulge me a little.”

“What do I get for indulging you?”

“What do you want?” Tutor lifted his face from the pillow to meet the eyes of the person staring at him.

“You…” Fighter said with a smirk, looking at the guy lying on the bed. “What do you think I want, huh?”

The sound at the end came from Tutor throwing a pillow at Fighter’s face. An annoying guy will always be an annoying guy, day or night.

“Why’d you throw the pillow?”

“Because you’re being annoying,” Tutor replied.

“I wasn’t being annoying. I was just asking nicely what you think I want.”

“Who’s supposed to just know what you want?”

“Then ask me again.”

“Not asking again.”

“Ask again, please. This time I’ll answer for real. I swear I won’t mess around.”

“…”

“…”

“What do you want?”

“If I say I want you, no jokes, would you let me have you?” Tutor went silent. He didn’t say or respond at all, maybe because he was stunned and didn’t expect Fighter to pull that line again. In the end, he just buried his face in the blanket and closed his eyes, as if he hadn’t heard the laughter or the irritating voice of the guy.

“Gone quiet, huh?”

“I’m tired of talking to you.”

“Fine, no more talking then. But can I sleep here?”

“…”

“I’m sleepy too, Tor. Driving was tiring, carrying stuff was exhausting, and that damn camera was heavy as hell. Now that I want to sleep, someone’s hogging all the space.”

“You talk too much,” Tutor shifted and lifted the thick blanket, as if inviting Fighter into his space. “You gonna sleep or just sit there staring?”

“Feels like you’re flirting,” the taller guy teased, but he still slipped under the blanket.

“So you really do have a death wish, huh?” Tutor shot back, not backing down.

“Haha, just kidding,” Fighter said before moving even closer to Tutor.

It was so close that Tutor could feel the warm breath on his face. Honestly, they didn’t need to be this close—the bed was plenty big—but Tutor didn’t say anything.

“Tor,” a low voice spoke as fingertips gently brushed against his cheek. “What do you want to eat tonight?”

“I want to sleep.”

“I asked what you want to eat, not what you want to do.” “Well, right now I want to sleep first. We’ll figure out food later.”

“Man, you’re getting pretty cheeky these days, huh?”

“…”

“And whiny too.”

“I’m only like this with certain people, Phii Fai.”

“Certain people? Who’s on that list?”

“Well, there’s Dad, Mom, Phii Tong… and you,” Tutor mumbled into his pillow, instinctively scooting closer to the warmth of someone else. “Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“…”

“Because I’m really happy to have you as one of those people…” His voice trailed off, almost melting into the embrace he nestled into.

Fighter looked at the clingy guy, now seemingly half-asleep while still muttering. He was like a stubborn kitten—sometimes running in to play or cuddle, but when he got feisty, it was like he had claws and teeth ready to bite at any moment.

“I’m happy too,” Fighter said, pulling Tutor a little closer than before. “Really happy.”

Because Tutor letting himself be vulnerable like this meant their bond was growing stronger. Fighter reached out to ruffle the younger guy’s hair, a faint smile on his lips.

“Sweet dreams, Tutor.”

In his dream, Tutor felt the warm press of lips on his eyelids— light but firm, making his heart race even in sleep.

Sweet dreams to you too, Phii Fai.

        WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME

   WHYARU, Chapter 14:

   “I’m back,” Tutor said as he opened the door and stepped into the room.

“Back already, Tor? Go, go wash your hands first. I’ve finished making sukiyaki, so you can come eat,” his sister said. Tutor nodded, went to wash his hands, and then sat down to eat the sukiyaki his sister had prepared.

“Eat a lot, okay? So you can grow up fast.”

“Tor’s already grown up.”

“Grown up or not, you’re still a little kid in my eyes. Eat,”

Tongtaa said, picking up shrimp and fish balls to put in her little brother’s bowl. She cherished this time with him—talking, smiling, laughing, and taking care of him in a way she didn’t often get to do. Tongtaa didn’t know when she’d return to Thailand or how tough her work abroad would be. But as the eldest sister, all she could do now was fulfill her role as best she could.

Tutor and Tongtaa spent a good while eating sukiyaki together, sharing stories and laughing. But during their conversation, Tongtaa sensed Tutor was hiding something.

Though she didn’t ask, her instincts told her something was up. The timing just wasn’t right to press him.

10:45 PM

   Tongtaa stepped out of the bathroom after her shower. The first thing she noticed was the empty bed—no sign of her little brother. Looking around, she spotted Tutor sitting out on the balcony.

The loneliness radiating from his back was overwhelming, making her wonder what was troubling him. In the end, all she could do was walk out and ask him directly.

“Can I sit with you?” Tongtaa opened the balcony door and peeked out.

“Come on, Phii Tong,” Tutor smiled and shifted to another chair.

“Do you come out here often, Tor? Aren’t you afraid of mosquito bites?”

“Nah, Phii Tong. I only come out here when I’ve got something on my mind.”

“So, you’ve got something on your mind now, huh?”

“…” Tutor didn’t respond. He just leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had a heart-to-heart, hasn’t it?”

“Oh.”

“So… how about we open up and talk today?”

“Alright.”

“Then… I’ll go first,” Tongtaa said, gazing at the view in front of her. “Tor, do you believe that when I applied for this job abroad, I wasn’t confident at all? I was just full of fear—afraid from the moment I applied, through the interviews, getting the visa or work permit, and even now, when I’m about to fly out to start the job, I’m still scared.”

“…”

“But do you know what made me stop being afraid?” Tongtaa’s final sentence was almost a question as she turned to look at Tutor, one hand reaching out to affectionately ruffle his hair.

“No idea.”

“Hardship.”

“…”

“Not my hardship, though. It’s the hardship of Dad, Mom, and you, Tor. I don’t want any of you to have to struggle anymore. I’m going to earn money to pay off the debts, and… I’ll make sure you can go to school.”

“Phii Tong,” Tutor called out to Tongtaa with a trembling voice, his eyes reflecting the same emotion. Knowing how much his older sister was willing to overcome her fears for the family made him feel even more touched.

“So, from now on, I want you to live your teenage life to the fullest. Eat what you want, go where you want, do whatever you want—but don’t break the law or go astray, got it?”

“Got it.”

“And quit that job already. Resign today or tomorrow.”

“It’s fine, Phii Tong. I can handle it. It’s just this job.”

“Don’t be stubborn, Tor. Trust me. Go live your teenage years to the fullest. If you need anything, I’ll take care of it.” Once again, Tutor felt his eyes burning, almost unable to hold back. Looking into Phii Tong’s eyes, he realized how lucky he was to be born into this family, with a sister who did so much for him and parents who understood. The exhaustion from work felt insignificant compared to what he gained in return. The struggles at home had truly made their family stronger and more loving. “Don’t you dare cry, you hear me?”

Tongtaa told her younger brother, ruffling his hair vigorously.

She said it because her own eyes were red, barely holding back her emotions. If Tutor started crying, she’d likely break down too.

“Hic… ugh… I’m not crying,” Tutor said, rubbing his eyes with both hands to wipe away the feelings and tears. He swallowed the lump in his throat, looked up, and turned to his sister again.

“Now it’s your turn, Tor. Open up to me. Don’t say there’s nothing, because I can tell there’s something.”

“…” Tutor didn’t respond. He just stared at the dark sky ahead, where today, like every day, the stars twinkled faintly. In his mind, he was still wondering whether he should tell Phii Tong about it, whether it would be okay to share. But in the end, he decided to speak up.

“Phii Tong, when it comes to kissing someone, does there need to be a reason to back it up?”

“What does Tutor think?”

“I don’t know…”

“Honestly, Tutor, a kiss doesn’t need any reason to back it up. But if you want me to find reasons,” Tongtaa paused, pretending to think, “there probably aren’t many. Maybe it comes from desire, lust, anger, or even work. But sometimes, there might be no reason at all. Just wanting to kiss for the sake of it—that happens too. Still, for most people, when they kiss, it usually starts with good feelings, or maybe even love.”

“Is that so? How do we know which feeling it is?”

“You feel it from the kiss itself, when your lips touch. Is it warm? Does your stomach flutter? Do you feel excited, your heart racing like you’re under a spell when you open your eyes and look at each other?”

“That kind of thing… can you really feel it, Phii Tong?” Tutor muttered, biting his lower lip until it turned red, perhaps because of what Tongtaa said. He could feel it all.

“So, Tutor, can you tell what kind of feeling it was?”

“I didn’t say it was about me.”

“Oh, really?” Tongtaa’s teasing expression left Tutor flustered, and she let out a laugh. “Seriously, Tutor, all the reasons for kissing I just told you about—if you’re not thinking too deeply about it, it’s just a kiss, plain and simple.”

“…”

“But whenever you keep thinking about it all the time, the sensation, their face, every little thing that happened during that kiss—if it’s like that, it’s probably not just an ordinary kiss anymore. It’s much more than that… in a way I think you already understands.”

“But…” Tutor hesitated, unsure if he should say it. But the gentle look in Tongtaa’s eyes gave him enough confidence that his big sister would accept anything, no matter what. “But what if the person I kissed was another guy, Phii Tong? If it’s like that, what would you do?”

Tongtaa smiled at Tutor’s endearing question, her little brother who was now grappling with his own feelings. To her, it felt so innocent.

“I think, Tutor, you need to let go of those norms first. Gender, age, status, wealth, fame, or anything else that’s holding back your feelings right now—let them go. Because in the end, love, affection, or good feelings aren’t defined by those things.”

“…”

“Love is love. Gender doesn’t define it, status doesn’t either. It’s the feeling that matters.” Tongtaa’s words cleared almost all the fog in Tutor’s heart. The weight that had been pressing on his chest felt like it had been pulled away completely. But still…    There’s still something lingering in my feelings.

   “What if the person I have feelings for is someone my friend is kind of flirting to? What would you do in that case?”

“Kind of flirting to, so not a boyfriend, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Does your friend like him?”

“I’m not sure.” Because during that one conversation, it seemed like Hwahwa was just teasing Zon and Phii Fai. In the end, Tutor didn’t really know what was going on.

Alright, I’ll answer as a regular person, and this might be right or wrong, okay? But I think feelings can’t be controlled. If both of you already have feelings for each other, there’s no point in hiding or suppressing it anymore. When it gets to that point, I’d ask that person straight-up what they want to do. If they truly have feelings for me, they need to sort things out with my friend properly. Because if it stays unresolved like this, it’ll only get worse.”

“And what about my friend, Phii Tong? How would they feel?”

“I think if the friend you’re talking about, Tor, is someone who truly loves and cares about you, they’d understand. You just need to tell them how you feel.”

“…” Tutor stayed quiet, staring at his older sister, who still looked confused and troubled. All she could do was reach out and gently ruffle Tutor’s hair to encourage him.

“Trust me, Tor. Hwa will understand, no matter how long it takes.”

“Phii Tong…” Tutor’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected Tongtaa to guess that the friend was Hwahwa.

“I’m your sister, Tor. How many friends do you care about this much in the world? There’s Hwa, there’s Zon, but if I had to guess, it’s probably just Hwa.”

“…”

“So, what you need to do now is sort things out with that guy, figure out what’s next, and then tell Hwa everything—what you feel, what he feels. And most importantly, don’t let Hwa find out on her own. Otherwise, it’ll be a mess. Got it?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“Oh,” Tongtaa turned to look at Tutor again, “bring him along when you drop me off.”

“Huh?”

“When you take me to the airport, bring him to meet me. I want to see…” Tutor didn’t promise Tongtaa anything, because he wasn’t sure if he could even invite Fighter.

He didn’t know if Fighter would turn him down.

What he feared now wasn’t his own feelings, but Phii Fai’s.

“Sighhh,” Tongtaa let out a heavy sigh, stood up, stretched lazily, and glanced at her younger brother again. “I’m going to bed.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s not stay out too long, or the mosquitoes will bite.”

“Mm, it’s not late. I’ll head in soon. Good night, Phii Tong. Thanks a lot, sis,” Tutor looked up at his sister, who pulled his head into a comforting hug. Tongtaa ruffled his hair affectionately as he clung to her waist, reluctant to let go.

“Can you let go now, you little pup?”

“Mm,” Tutor released Tongtaa’s waist and roughly wiped away his tears. She looked at her brother again, thinking that this was all she could do for him. The rest was up to Tutor—how much he’d reflect on her words and learn from them.

She didn’t know if the candle she’d lit for him would illuminate his heart or reach someone else.

She could only hope it would.

…

Today, Fighter had no classes. Normally, he’d go somewhere familiar, but things weren’t normal now. So, he drove to the building where Hwahwa was studying and messaged her that they’d grab dinner together tonight.

“Hey, Phii Fai,” someone called out to Fighter, who was engrossed in his phone. He looked up. “Here to pick up Hwa?”

“Yeah,” Fighter replied to the girl in front of him. He didn’t remember who she was, but if she approached him so familiarly, she was probably Hwahwa’s friend.

“Hwa’s at the copy shop behind the building, Phii Fai. I can take you there if you want.”

“Oh, no worries. I’ll head over myself.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Thanks,” Fighter smiled at Hwahwa’s friend and walked in the direction she’d pointed out. He strolled casually until he reached the corner where the copy shop was, but there was no sign of Hwahwa. He almost turned back, but then he heard her voice coming from an alley nearby.

“Day, wait! Can you listen to me first?”

“What else does I need to hear, Hwa? When everything’s already this clear? You don’t need to explain. I get it.”

“No, Day, you don’t understand!!!”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Hwa!!!”

Day’s shout made the air around them tense. Fighter watched the two, their faces etched with pain. Day turned away, while Hwahwa stared at the ground. The looks in their eyes clearly showed how much they were hurting.

“Day…”

It wasn’t much different for Fighter, standing there. He didn’t know how to feel. It wasn’t sadness or embarrassment that Hwahwa was talking to someone else. It was guilt—he felt responsible for causing so many relationships to become tangled and messy.

“Don’t you feel a bit weird that your partner’s gotten so close to that Day guy?”

“Do I have to feel something? Hwa and I aren’t even together.”

How could he forget what Dew said?

   How could he forget that Day and Hwahwa had grown close while he was busy burying himself with Tutor? Maybe because when that incident with Tutor happened, all he could think about was going back to Hwahwa to find some clarity for the confusion he felt. But he forgot to consider that Hwahwa had someone else in her life too.

   “Day, don’t do this,” Hwahwa said to Day with a trembling voice, reaching out to grab his arm and shaking it gently, as if pleading.

Fighter watched the scene with a pang of guilt. He didn’t know how someone as selfish as him, coming back just to figure out his own feelings, could apologize to both of them. In the end, all Fighter could do was quietly walk away. He left the two of them to sort things out and went to wait in front of the building as usual.

Fighter didn’t run away. Maybe because he thought today was the day to finally put an end to these unresolved issues.

“Phii Fai,” someone called his name from behind. When he turned around, he saw Day approaching with a forced smile. Despite the strain, Day still managed to smile at him. “Here to pick up Hwa, huh?”

“Yeah. What’re you doing around here?”

“Just stopping by to see a friend, Phii Fai. I was about to head back. Been feeling kinda tired lately.”

“What’s wrong?” Fighter asked. “If you need to vent, you can talk to me, Day.”

“It’s nothing, Phii Fai. Just trivial stuff.”

“I don’t think what’s going on between you and Hwa is trivial, Day.”

“Whoa, Phii Fai, what’s with you? Hwa and I are just friends. Whatever you heard from someone, don’t believe it. Hwa loves you.”

“…”

“Loves you a lot,” Day’s voice softened at the end, his eyes betraying something off. He tried to hide his feelings by looking away before turning back with another smile. “Let’s talk another time, Phii Fai. We’ll catch up for drinks or something when we’re free.”

“That’s the plan?”

“Yup.”

“Alright, see you then.” Fighter nodded and patted Day’s shoulder a few times. After that, Day walked away. Fighter didn’t want to push Day to admit to the fragile nature of their relationship, knowing it might make him feel worse. In the end, the only ones who could resolve this were him and Hwahwa.

“Phii Fai,” a clear voice called out a few minutes after Day left.

“Hey, Hwa.”

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No way.”

“By the way, what should we eat tonight?” Hwahwa flashed a wide smile to greet Fighter, but beneath her smile, he could sense a hint of sadness.

“What does you want to eat?”

“Anything’s fine. Let’s go check and decide later, okay?” Hwahwa said, reaching out to hold Fighter’s arm as she often did. The two walked to the parked car, acting as if everything was normal, as if nothing had happened. They talked, asked about school, and brought up various topics, but in the end, they couldn’t suppress the feelings stirring inside. Barely ten minutes after the car hit the road, a quiet settled in slowly. Both sank back into their own thoughts. Hwahwa didn’t even realize Fighter had driven her straight home without stopping for dinner as planned until he called out to her.

“Hwa… we’re at your place.”

“Huh?” Hwahwa looked confused. “Aren’t we stopping for dinner, Phii Fai? Sorry, I was spacing out. Work’s been a lot lately, so I’m a bit out of it.”

Hwahwa gave a broad smile. Fighter smiled back, letting out a soft sigh.

“I feel like what we’re doing right now… are we just pretending, Hwa?”

“…”

“I know about you and Day.”

“So what if you know? Knowing doesn’t mean you understand me, Phii Fai.”

“I do understand. Why wouldn’t I?”

“How do you understand it?” Hwahwa turned to meet

Fighter’s gaze, asking the question she wanted answered.

“I understand what kind of confusion you’re feeling right now.”

“Hmph,” Hwahwa let out a breath, almost amused. “So you’re confused too, Phii Fai? Who’s the one making you feel like this?”

“…”

“That person must be really important to you, huh?” Hwahwa said with a slight mocking tone. “Sigh, I’m kind of jealous, you know. I’ve been with you for so long, but I’ve never once felt that from you.”

“…”

“Seeing this makes me want to bring up Zon.”

“Hwa.”

“I’m kidding,” Hwahwa said playfully. “Because what you’re going through right now has already made me realize who I should choose. Thank you so much, Phii Fai, for finally opening my eyes. But… can I ask you something? Back when you first approached me, were you genuinely interested in me, or was it for some other reason?”

“…”

“Why are you so quiet? Is it because you don’t want to tell me, or because you yourself don’t know why you got involved?”

“…”

“Forget it. Let’s just say I understands. You’ve been so good to me all this time, even holding back when things could’ve happened between us. Maybe that’s part of it. That’s why I can’t help but wonder why you got involved in the first place. Anyway, good luck, okay? Take care of yourself.”

Bang

The door closed along with Fighter’s weary eyes. He shut them and thought back on everything that had happened. He tried to revisit Hwahwa’s question again.

Why did he approach Hwahwa back then?

“Phii Fai, my name isn’t written like that…”

“So what? I’ll write it however I want.”

Maybe it started back then, from the very first moment his junior walked in on orientation day.

From the moment he saw that stubborn face and the annoyed look when he was teased.

And maybe it grew from the image of Hwahwa talking with Tutor under the engineering building, full of smiles and laughter—an image that made him want to claim it for himself.

Perhaps that was the only answer to the hundred questions he kept asking himself.

An answer he already knew deep down.

“Phii Fai, can you stop playing with your phone and start tutoring?”

“Phii Fai… why are you staring at me? Read the book already.”

“Phii Fai… ugh.”

He missed him so much.

   Missed him until his heart ached.

   Missed him so much that walking away that day felt like the worst mistake of his life.

   He kept wondering why he didn’t tell him, why he didn’t talk to him, why he let confusion take over and just walked away like that.

   Now, he didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t know if going back would mean his junior would still welcome him. And most importantly, he didn’t know if his junior felt the same way he did.

   The confusion that once plagued him was now turning into fear.

   Fear that, in the end, what he felt would be for nothing.

   Ding!

Tutor: Phii Fai, are you free around 9 p.m. tonight?

   By the way, Phii Tong is leaving for abroad today. She wants to meet you. 

   But if you’re not free, it’s okay. 

   Tutor: I understand.

          WHYARU : Fighter-Tutor CHAPTERS HOME