Tag: South Beside the Sky

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY,  Special Chapter: Sweet: )

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY,  Special Chapter: Sweet: )

       “Phoon, can I have some of that snack?”

    “Yeah, can I stop you? You’ve already taken it.”

    “Phoon, I want some cocoa.”

    “Make it yourself, or should I make it for you?”

    “Could you please, bro? I can’t let go of this. Otherwise, North will definitely hit me.”

    “Ter, focus a bit, you bastard.”

    “Yes, yes.”

    I slid off the sofa and got up to make cocoa for him. Today is a holiday after they finished their finals, so they came to hang out in my room. Of course, the medical students haven’t finished their exams yet, even though they started earlier than other faculties. Today, Phii Fah had an exam in the morning.

       I set down two cups of cocoa on the table in front of the sofa where these two were playing a game.

       “You guys,” I called out.

    “…”

    “You guys.”

    “Phoon, wait, Ter, I’m counting to three and then attacking,” North said, his concentration fully on the phone screen, “Three!”    “Damn it! You can’t just count to three like that, shit, don’t attack yet, tank, North, wait for me.”

    “Okay, okay, I’ve got the carry, damn, the mage is about to die, Ter, tank the tower, don’t let him escape.”

    “No, damn it, I’m about to die.”

    “Yeah, you support, it’s a mage, it’s worth the trade.”

    “Here we go.”

    “Yeah.”

    “Damn, you survived, how did that happen? And you even managed to kill him.”

    “See, I told you, what level are we at?” North raised an eyebrow at Ter. I could somewhat understand what they were talking about because North had taught me a bit, but I’m not good at playing, so I don’t like to play much, “You’re too slow, Ter, if you were quicker, the whole team would’ve died.”

    “Isn’t winning the fight enough? We’ve taken the middle tower, don’t be greedy.”

    “Yeah, yeah, you haven’t written anything yet, Ter, been in ghost mode for a while now.”

    “Right, you play with Dao a lot, you guys sync like what,” Ter said. “It’s all about timing, I can’t explain it, but for me, ghost mode is number one for tanks, it’s so thick, playing with him feels safe knowing there’s always someone protecting.”    “Is Dao good at games?” I interjected.

    “Dao is like fabric softener, how could he be good at games?”

    “…”

    “…Okay, let’s keep playing,” I cut in with a sigh, the humor isn’t necessary, focus on stressing the friends out. Once they finished playing, they picked up the cocoa I had just made to drink, “Can I ask something?”

    “Go ahead.”

    “What are your plans for the holidays?” I asked.    “I’m going home, waiting to go back with Phii Hill.”    “To Rayong?” North raised an eyebrow to ask.

    “Yes, my parents, my sister, everyone is asking about Phii Hill.”

    “Didn’t your dad not like Phii Hill at first?”

    “He likes him now, they get along well. What about you guys?”

    “I’m probably going home, Khunying keeps complaining about missing Phii Jo. Not a single mention of missing me, what about you,

    Phoon, do you have any plans?”

    “Yeah, I don’t know yet. Aside from taking on photography jobs, I don’t have any other plans.”

    “Yeah, how’s the photography going for you? I heard you’ve started doing it,” Ter asked.

    “Yeah, the first time I was super nervous, but once I got used to it, it was pretty good, fun even. When they complimented my work, it boosted my confidence a lot,” I said honestly, thinking back to my first job. I was so nervous I almost messed it up, but once I got the hang of it, it was fun. The earnings might not be much since I’m not a professional, but I’m gaining experience.

    “That’s good for you, doing what you love is nice,” North said,

    “What do you usually do when you’re in your room?”

    “Just tidy up, clean, use the computer, watch movies,” I said while North got up to look around the room.

    “I always thought Phii Fah’s room would be full of books, and it is, damn,” North said, scanning the bookshelf and picking up some books to look at, “It’s like a library, even with books not related to studying.”

    “Phii Fah has all sorts of books, general knowledge, history books. Sometimes, when he’s tired of studying, he reads European history to relax his mind,” I explained truthfully. I was surprised the first time I saw it too, who rests from reading by reading more, but Phii Fah said reading history was enjoyable in its own way.

    “I’m impressed,” North said, raising his eyebrows in surprise as he walked over to the balcony area, “Wow, it’s beautiful, did you put the bed here?”

    “Yeah, I did it myself, almost killed me with the effort.”

    “What do you do when it rains?”

    “The rain doesn’t reach here, the awning is huge,” I said, having calculated the distance so that even if it rains, it wouldn’t reach where I placed the bed because of the wide awning.

    “That’s romantic of you.”

    “I thought it looked nice, some nights Phii Fah reads outside here, the atmosphere is quite nice, feels good to have done something for him,” I said before turning to see Ter looking at the bookshelf, “What are you doing?”

    “Hmm, lots of books, it’s exciting.”

    “Exactly, I haven’t even read half of it.”

    “You read too?”

    “Yeah, when I have free time, I read to keep Phii Fah company. It’s not that fun, but it’s not bad either, just leisurely reading. General knowledge stuff,” I said, “What about your rooms?”

    “Phii Hill’s room is mostly textbooks, hardly any other books.”    “Phii Jo’s room has nothing much, textbooks, work-related stuff, documents like that. Your room has a lot of stuff but it’s wellorganized, Phii Fah’s books are plentiful, not to mention your camera equipment.”

    “Yeah, so I always try to keep it organized, it makes it easier to find things. Hey, do you guys want to watch a video, from my birthday in

    Japan?”

    “I thought you wouldn’t show us. You never mentioned it,” Ter said.

    “I forgot, come on.” I sat down at my desk and opened the video from my birthday in Osaka for both of them to see. Mostly it was Phii Fah throughout the video, with some others appearing, I added some music to it. The video was only four minutes long, “How is it?”    “Good, you’re good at editing,” North said.

    “I learned from YouTube and stuff, in case I get to do more editing in the future.”

    “Good work, keep it up, Phoon,” North patted my shoulder gently,

    “Whose phone is ringing?”

    “Mine,” I said before getting up from the desk and walking over to the sofa where the phone was making noise. I found it was a client who had previously hired me for photography and had scheduled a new shoot with Arthit. I quickly answered, “Yes, Phii Mew?”

    (“Phoon, are you free, dear?”)

       “I’m free, what’s up?”

    (“Can we move the appointment to this afternoon, the one we scheduled? The model rescheduled.”)

       “Oh, one moment please.”

    I muted the call and turned to ask for advice from North and Ter.

    “Guys, the person who hired me to take photos wants to move it to this afternoon.”

    “Yeah, so what’s the problem?”

    “How am I going to do it? Phii Fah isn’t done with his exams yet.” “I’ll drive you there,” North said, “Go ahead and agree, or you’ll lose the job.” North’s words made me unmute the call and speak back into the phone.

    “Okay, I’ll be there an hour early as usual, at the same studio, right?”

    (“Yes, yes, thank you for the trouble.”)

       “Yes.”

    (“Thank you.”)

       “You’re welcome.” I hung up the phone and immediately asked

    North, “How are you going to drive me? By car? It’s quite far.”

    “Can’t you drive now?” North raised his eyebrows in question. I made a slightly troubled face; I can drive, because I just learned at driving school and got my license, but I’ve never driven on the road. Not counting the practice sessions with my instructor.

    Initially, I couldn’t even turn left or right properly, so I had to memorize it; otherwise, I wouldn’t pass. Being able to drive is better because once I’m in my first year and Phii Fah is in his fourth year, our free time won’t overlap much. At least, I’ll be able to go places safely without Phii Fah worrying, and maybe I could even pick him up or drop him off. So, I practiced driving very diligently.

    “Will it be okay? I’ve never driven on the road. Not counting with the instructor, that is.”

    “Be a bit braver. If you’re not brave, you won’t learn.”    “You’re not driving, North, you’re good at it,” I said. “And when will you get good at it?”

    “Okay, okay, I’ll tell Phii Fah first.” I looked at the time, it was just past eleven. I wasn’t sure if Phii Fah had a break from his exams yet, so I left a message on LINE saying I would take the car out to the studio. After a while, he read it and called back.

    (“Are you going out?”) That was his first question after I answered the call.

    “Yes, can I borrow the car…please?”

    (“Will you be driving?”)

       “Yes.”

    (“Okay, then drive carefully, drive slowly, don’t speed.”)

       “Yes.”

    (“Are North and Ter going with you?”)

       “Yes, I will drive carefully. I won’t let your car get a single scratch.”

    (“A little scratch is okay, but don’t crash or cause an accident.”)

       “Yes, at what time is your exam?”

    (“The next one is in the afternoon. Send me some encouragement, will you?”)

       “Okay, do your best.”

    (“I feel like it’s not enough somehow.”)

       “So, what do I need to do?”

    (“I really want to see your face, send me a photo please.”)

       “Okay…sure, I’ll hang up then.”

    (“Okay.”)

       I hung up and took a selfie to send in the chat with Phii Fah.

    Typhoon: sends photo

       T.fha: Cute

       T.fha: Can I get one more sweet smile?

       Typhoon: I doesn’t like taking photos, TT

       Typhoon: sends photo

       T.fha: But you always take them for me 

       T.fha: Drive safely, okay?

       Typhoon: Okay, yes

       Typhoon: You’ve reminded me several times already

       T.fha: I’m worried

       T.fha: I’m about to fail the exam because I’m so worried

       Typhoon: Nah, I am fine, really

       Typhoon: I’ll take care, North and Ter are here, so rest easy.    Typhoon: Focus on your exam, okay?

       T.fha: Yes, I’ll focus on the exam.

       T.fha: And come back to me soon.

       T.fha:

       Typhoon:

       I put my phone in my pocket and hurried to prepare my camera equipment. It took some time to get everything ready, and then it was time to go to work. I grabbed the keys Phii Fah had mentioned and left the room with North and Ter.

    “I’m a bit nervous, no idea why,” I sighed, “First time driving on the road without an instructor, really.”

    “Come on, we’re here with you. It’ll be fine.”

    “Will you guys be of any help?”

    “You won’t die alone.”

    “You’re such a dog,” Ter said, giving North a playful smack on the back as we were in the elevator heading down to the first floor, “Do you drive often, North?”

    “Quite often, I like to take Phii Jo’s car for a spin, it’s fun.”

    “Isn’t Phii Jo’s car dangerously fast?” I asked because someone like Phii Jo, who loves cars, only has sports cars. Phii Fah, on the other hand, isn’t that into cars; he just has his regular car and another for backup, parked in the VIP lot below the condo.

    “Super fast, just touch the pedal and it takes off. But which car is it?”

    “This one,” I said, pressing the remote to unlock the door of a black Porsche whose model I didn’t know. I also didn’t know the price, and I thought it was better that way. Otherwise, I’d be too nervous to drive. I opened the driver’s door, sat down, adjusted the seat, and set the mirrors as my instructor had taught me. North got in beside me, and Ter sat in the back. “Put on your seat belts, guys.”    “We know,” Ter said while pulling out the seat belt.

    “Phoon, let’s go already.”

    “Okay, just give me a moment to calm down, I’ve got a cramp in my leg.”

    “Huh,” North, sitting next to me, sighed. I sighed too to ease the tension, slowly released my foot from the brake to move the car forward, pulled out from the parking lot, and stopped in front of the condo.

    “Which way?”

    “Go right,” North looked at the GPS on his phone and gave directions because he wasn’t very sure of the way to the studio, so he decided to use GPS for certainty. I checked left and right to see the passing cars until I was sure it was safe to turn, then I turned according to North’s directions, “Am I in the right lane?”    “Yeah, you’re in the middle of the lane, the motorcycle on the left can go,” North replied.

    “OK.”

    “Speaking of which, Phii Fah is just like your dad, Phoon,” Ter, sitting in the back seat, chimed in.

    “How so?”

    “At first, I thought someone as caring as Phii Fah, if he were with someone as childish as you, Phii Fah would be very protective, not letting you out of his sight, but turns out, he lets you drive by yourself, lets you go to work by yourself.”

    “Hmm, Phii Fah once said he wanted to make sure that even without him, I could take care of myself, he encouraged me to learn to drive, if I wanted to work, he let me, like he was pushing me to grow up, but he still worries, like today, if I were alone, I wouldn’t be allowed to go, but with you guys here, he lets me.”

    “That’s the way it should be,” said North, “My Phii Jo, he doesn’t let me work at all.”

    “You still haven’t learned,” Ter shot back immediately, causing

    North to frown slightly, “If you were to work part-time at a restaurant,

    Phii Fah wouldn’t let Phoon go there, it’s dangerous, he almost didn’t make it last time.”

    “Enough, stop talking, don’t bring that up.”

    “You’re so heartless.”

    “It makes me mad,” North pouted immediately.

    “Should we pick up Dao?” Ter asked, “Dao just finished his exams.”

    “Sure, tell Dao to wait in front of the faculty,” I agreed, before heading into the university to pick up Dao as well. There was a bit of traffic in the university, but we managed to get through. I drove, parked in front of the Faculty of Science, and saw a small figure in a baggy student uniform, carrying a backpack, looking dazed in front of the faculty. I rolled down the window and called out, “Dao.”

    “…” Dao turned towards the sound of the call, slowly stepping towards me in the car before going around to sit in the back seat next to Ter, “Is the cat driving?”

    “Uh, it’s safe, don’t worry. Even though I’m a beginner.”

    “And where are we going?”

    “We’re taking the cat to work, a photo shoot,” Ter said, and Dao, sitting next to him, nodded slowly. I glanced at the rearview and side mirrors, ensuring there were no other cars, then slowly drove out from the Faculty of Science. “How was the exam?” Ter started talking to Dao.

    “I didn’t do that well, but I should pass.”

    “Good, and was it your last exam day?”

    “Tomorrow is the last day, has everyone finished their exams?”

    “Everyone’s done, so you will be on break soon.”

    “Yeah.”

    “Any plans for the break?”

    “Uh, I’m fully booked,” Dao said, still as hardworking as ever.    “And didn’t you bring your motorcycle?” I asked, because if Dao had brought his motorcycle, he wouldn’t have had us pick him up.

    “I did bring it.”

    “Oh, then what are we doing?”

    “I don’t know either, I saw Ter said he would pick me up, so I forgot to think about it.”

    “Oh well,” North sighed heavily, “We can just drop you back at the faculty, won’t anything happen to the bike?”    “It shouldn’t, there’s a security guard.”

    “Why do you look more lethargic than usual?”

    “I…just finished the exam.”

    “Yeah, yeah.”

    I drove carefully along the way, with North directing me to the studio. It took a while to get there. I parked with difficulty, barely breathing because I was afraid of hitting another car. I asked North to park for me, but he told me to practice by myself, it was going to drive me crazy, but in the end, I managed to park without any issues.

    “I feel like I’ve aged ten years less,” I said after getting out of the car, I was holding my breath while parking earlier, and now my stomach feels all twisted.

    “Told you, you can do it.”

    “Yeah, jeez,” I said, feeling annoyed.

    “You did well, Cat,” Daotok complimented. I couldn’t help but feel good, even though we’re both guys, I found Daotok really cute; his laid-back attitude and slow speech have become his charm.    I carried the camera equipment, with North helping to carry some as well, and we went in to greet Phii Mew, the owner of the clothing brand. This was a new collection that had just been completed, but it wasn’t a famous brand since it was just starting out. Previously, they hired me to shoot their first collection, and the feedback was quite good.

    “Phoon, prepare your camera in a bit, okay?”

    “Yes,” I nodded in acknowledgment before going to prepare my part.

    “Phoon.”

    “Yes?”

    “Go talk to the model about how you work, your style, what you’re good at, work it out with him, but he’s a pro, he’s done a lot of shoots already, so don’t worry. It won’t be like last time,” Phii Mew said because last time the model wasn’t very good at posing, which made things a bit tough for photographers like me, but it wasn’t a big problem.

    “Wow, hiring a pro like this. Not bad at all,” I teased a bit, and Phii Mew gave a small smile.

    “This guy is getting quite famous, it was tough to schedule him, he’s a bit demanding as celebrities tend to be, rescheduling at will.

    Anyway, don’t forget to talk to him; he’ll be done with makeup soon.”

    “Okay,” I smiled, scanning the room to check the lighting and the setup, then sat with my friends for a while until the person who seemed to be the model walked in.

    “Looks familiar, doesn’t he?” Ter furrowed his brows, looking at him, “Hmm, isn’t his name Mek, the one who acted in that short film?”

    “Which short film?” I asked, as I don’t really keep up with these things, but Ter still follows some local news.

    “I can’t remember the name of the short film, but he’s famous, even though he’s still in high school.”

    “Oh,” I nodded to show that I understood. Even though we didn’t know each other, I left my seat and walked straight to the guy named Mek. If we’re the same age, there’s no need to be too tense, “Hello,

    I’m Typhoon, the photographer for today.” I smiled and greeted him, Mek turned to look at me before giving a slight smile.

    “Mek, the model, nice to work with you,” he extended his hand. I reached out to shake his hand in greeting, “Sorry, but how old are you?”    “Twenty-one.”

    “Oh, the same age, you look young,” I was a bit surprised that Mek said we were the same age, wasn’t Ter saying he was still in high school?

    “Thanks,” I smiled a little, “What kind of style are you good at,

    Mek?” I started asking and we began talking about today’s work, once everything was okay, we started shooting. He must have been telling the truth about having a lot of experience because he was really good at posing and angles, so the first half of the shoot went well until break time.

       “How’s it going?”

    “It’s good,” I replied to Ter while accepting the glass of water he handed over.

    “He was looking at you weird,” North said with a serious expression.

    “Mek?”

    “Yeah, Mek, the model.”

    “Really, how?”

    “Like he wanted to devour you, like he wanted to swallow you whole.”

    “…Really?” I furrowed my brows at North who still looked serious. I didn’t want to believe it too much, but since North said it, I couldn’t help but think about it. Probably not, right?

       “Trust my sharp eyes, tiger sees tiger.”

    “Oh, you dare say that, are you the tiger?” Ter turned with a look of disbelief at what he just heard.

    “Ah, well, just know that I can see it, let’s just finish work and go home quickly, don’t talk to him.”

    “Uh, there’s nothing to talk about anyway,” I said, before hearing Phii Mew’s voice sounding like she was arguing with another woman, who I didn’t know, but from the situation I saw and what I heard, I guessed that woman must be Mek’s manager.

    “We’ve paid in advance already, you suddenly delaying it again is unacceptable, let’s finish the shoot first. There’s no professionalism at all.”

    “Oh, since you are a new brand, we decided to lower the price. Normally, with what you paid in advance, you only get the model’s rate for two hours, and now there’s some urgent business, urgent work, so we’ll have to reschedule the shoot for another day.”    “What other day? We’ve already paid for the studio rental.”    “It’s not my problem anymore. What do you want to do? If you want Mek to continue shooting, you’ll have to pay more.”

    “How can you suddenly ask for more payment like this? That’s awful. You should have announced to everyone that this new model, who just got famous, is already scamming people.”

    “Watch your words. Scamming? The rate was set like this from the start.”

    “You yourself said you’d lower the price.”

    “I’m not lowering it anymore.”

    “Oh, come on!” Phii Mew looked quite upset, clearly because of the issue with the model’s fee, “Okay, okay, give me some time.”    “Uh, how about this, Phii Mew?” Suddenly, Mek, who had been quiet for a while, spoke up, but I couldn’t hear clearly because he was speaking very softly. After he finished, Phii Mew looked even more stressed, but Mek smiled.

    “This isn’t going to end well,” North whispered. I looked at him, “Such a villain, that guy will come for you soon, look, there he comes.”

    “Are you some kind of fortune teller?” I raised my eyebrows to ask.    “The real fortune teller is right here, can you predict anything, ghost whisperer?” North asked, Dao shook his head slightly but said nothing. I turned around and saw that Phii Mew was indeed walking towards us.

    “Typhoon.”

    “Uh…yes?”

    “Can we talk for a moment?”

    “Uh, yes.” I got up and followed Phii Mew not far from where we were standing, “What’s the matter?”

    “Sigh. I didn’t want it to be like this, but I told you, didn’t I? Mek is very self-centered, there are lots of rumors about him with girls, you can guess what I’m going to say, right?”

    “…”

    “He said he’ll lower his fee back to normal, but in exchange for your LINE contact.”

    “LINE?” I raised my eyebrows, repeating what he said, “Why does it have to be me?”

    “Maybe he likes you, I know you already have a boyfriend, but I’m really in trouble here, you can give your LINE and then block him if you want.”

    “…” I furrowed my brows, looking tense. I didn’t want to give my LINE, but I understood that Phii Mew was in a difficult situation, “I’ll go talk to him myself.”

    “Oh, don’t say anything bad, consider it a favor for me.”

    “Sure,” I agreed. What bad thing could I say anyway? I walked over to Mek, who was calmly eating his snacks, “Mek,” I called out his name.

    “Yes, what is it?”

    “It’s like…I know now, you shouldn’t do this, work is just work.”    “I know, but if I don’t do this, you wouldn’t give me your LINE, right?”

    “Even so. I still won’t give it.”

    “Why?”

    “I have a boyfriend.”

    “I see. I’m pretty used to this kind of rejection,” Mek gave a halfsmile, looking at me with sly eyes, just like North had said about this guy not being ordinary, which made me sigh.

    “I don’t care if you want to abandon this job.”    My words made the other party stop smiling.

    “Because I’m just a photographer. I’m fine with getting paid only half. I just feel sorry for Phii Mew, that’s why I came to talk, but if we can’t talk, I don’t care.” I said firmly, then turned around to leave but was grabbed by the wrist first, “Don’t touch me.”

    “Okay, okay, Phoon. Can we talk again? I’m really interested in you, I liked you from the first time our eyes met.”

    “Let go.”

    “Alright, alright, I’ll let go, but don’t go anywhere, please.”    Ugh…so annoying.

       He was giving me those pleading eyes like a tiger conceding defeat, but it wasn’t going to work on me.

       “I have a boyfriend, I’ll say it again. I won’t give you my LINE, don’t touch me. Don’t bother me, and if you don’t want to work, don’t work. I’ll leave, and if you touch me again, someone will get mad,” I warned, guessing that North, having seen the scene earlier, must be getting pretty heated by now.

    “Oh, a boyfriend, huh? The one in the black shirt, he’s been staring since earlier, like he’s about to come and punch us.”

    “That’s my friend, but he will punch you if you touch me again.”

    “And there’s someone to protect you too.”

    “So, what’s the deal?”

    “You’re quite fierce, little cat, are you going to scratch me?”

    “…”

    “Okay, okay, I give up, don’t be mad, little cat. Even though you look cute when you’re angry, I don’t want you to be mad. Let’s continue with the shoot; after all, you’re the one taking the photos.”

    “Don’t call me cat.”

    “Huh?”

    “You have no right to call me that.”

    “Wow, so fierce, I like you even more.”

    “…”

    I wanted to swear at him even more, but I remembered we still have to work together. I could leave like this, but I felt sorry for Phii Mew. It seemed like she had poured everything into this project, so I shouldn’t let my anger or personal issues cause trouble for others.    …But the one causing trouble was the person standing right in front of me.

       “Damn.”

    “Oh, are you going to start cursing as soon as you arrive?”

    “Why did he grab your hand? I’ll tell Phii Fah.”

    “So what if he did? Forget it, just bear with it, we’ll finish this shoot and leave soon.”    “Really?”

    “Hmm. It’s okay.”

    “I’ve never seen the cat get so annoyed,” Daotok, who had been quiet for a while, finally said.

    “Yeah. I’m serious about my work, it’s what I love. I don’t want it to go to waste, and I feel sorry for Phii Mew too,” I said with a sigh before smiling, “Okay, don’t make a fuss, North. Otherwise, my work will be ruined, no one will hire me again, you understand, right?”

    “I know, I won’t make a fuss, what do you take me for? Don’t worry, let’s get back to work.”    “Yeah, good, be a good boy, North.”

    “Ugh.”

    “Oh, got smacked again.”

    I went back to work, entering serious mode, but it seemed like the other guy wasn’t in the same mindset, just playing around to flirt with me.

    “Enough,” I said, “Phii Mew, if the model doesn’t stop playing around, I’m leaving.”

    “…Phoon, don’t be so serious.”

    “This is work, not a playground, do you think everything’s a joke?”

    “…”

    “I’m ready to leave, I already said I don’t need the money.”

    “Okay, okay. I was just messing around, now I’m serious, don’t make that scary face.”

    “…” I stayed silent, looking at the person in front of me with a serious expression, indicating that I wasn’t joking. I told him how serious I am about this job.

    It took nearly another two hours to finish the shoot. While I was packing up my camera,

    “Typhoon,” I turned to look at Mek who was walking towards me, calling my name.

    “…?”

    “Sorry. I guess I was too playful, wasn’t I?”

    “Hmm.”

    “Phoon you is really cool when you are serious. At first, I was just playing around, but now I really like you, Phoon.”

    “…” I didn’t respond, turning back to pack my gear, ignoring him,

    “Move, you’re in my way.”

    “Don’t be so harsh.”

    “Sigh, seriously, what do you want?”

    “I like you.”

    “I have a boyfriend.”

    “I don’t care.”

    “That’s your problem.” I said dismissively before North came to help carry the equipment. I walked out with North, but Mek took the liberty to grab my wrist again. I shook it off forcefully, “I’m getting angry.”

    “Don’t make that angry face, it’s cute.”

    “Let’s go,” I told North and dragged him out, because it wasn’t just me who would be angry; North was starting to look irritated too.

    “Do you think you can keep running away?” I heard Mek shout from behind. I sighed out of annoyance again, walked out of the studio, put everything in the car, opened the driver’s door to head back to the condo, but the same persistent person followed me out.

    The three friends in the car exchanged looks, “Can’t we talk for a bit?”

    “Mek,” I called his name in a low, frustrated voice, “What do you want?”

    “I told you, I like you.”

    “I told you I have a boyfriend, what more do you want?”

    “Don’t be so harsh.”

    “Are you going to say I’m cute again?”

    “Uh huh. Aren’t you even a little bit embarrassed?”

    “Not at all. Listen, do you really like me? I don’t care, you might just want to win. But let me tell you, the world doesn’t revolve around you; you won’t win everything. If you think I’m playing hard to get to seem interesting, I’m not. I have a boyfriend, and that’s that. I came here to do my job well, but you’re playing games for a LINE contact or whatever, it’s ridiculous, it’s so childish.”

    “Ouch…that hurts.”

    “Yeah.”

    “Hey, don’t go yet.”

    “What now?”

    “Really not? I genuinely like you, you know.”

    “That’s your business.”

    “Heartless bastard.”

    “I’m not heartless. I just don’t like you.”

    “…”

    The other person seemed to freeze. I turned my back, opened the car door, quickly started the engine, and drove off even though I was still a bit annoyed.

       “You look pretty fierce, it’s kind of unusual.”    “Really? But Ter sees it often,” I said.

    “Really?” North turned to ask Ter.

    “Uh. You guys don’t know, Phoon is like an aggressive cat, but only when it comes to his camera or when someone talks nonsense,” Ter began explaining, “Back in our old faculty, anyone who tried to flirt with him and didn’t make sense, he’d get fierce with them all the time.”

    “I can’t believe it,” North made a gesture of disbelief.

    “You guys only see him when he’s with Phii Fah, try with someone else.”

    “Then there’s nothing to worry about, I guess,” said North.

    “What’s there to worry about?”

    “Oh. I shouldn’t even ask.”

    Tonfah

       I walked out of the exam room feeling completely exhausted from the accumulated fatigue of several days. I would have one day to rest and study, then another exam the next day. I slumped down next to Jo and Arthit, who were already waiting there.

       “Why did you finish so quickly?” I asked.

    “I don’t know, I just did it normally, hasn’t Hill come out yet?”    “Probably still working,” I said.

    “And you?”

    “I was completely focused, went over it several times, thought I’d be the last one out of the exam room.” When I left the exam room earlier, I saw about five or six people still sitting inside, including Hill, with only fifteen minutes left.

    I picked up my phone and saw some notifications. The first message was from Phoon saying he had finished work and was heading back, asking if I wanted anything special, to text him if I had time. The other message was from North, a video clip, filmed from inside the car, showing Phoon talking to someone.    It seemed like Phoon was not in a good mood.

    After watching the clip, I couldn’t help but smile. Phoon was angry because someone was flirting with him, I guess. Phoon is very serious about work, and it sounds like that person wasn’t taking the job seriously, which made Phoon mad, and even more so when he wasn’t making sense.

    “Heartless bastard.”

       “I’m not heartless. I just don’t like you.”

       This made me think back to the first time I met Phoon, when he was still messaging me.

    “I’m not kind. I just love you.”

    That’s the difference between someone who loves and someone who doesn’t, I guess.    So cute.

    Whose boyfriend is this? I want to grab him and fight.

    “Your smile is too wide.”

    “Why?” I looked up and asked, “You’re not me, you wouldn’t know.”    “What?”

    “It’s hard if you’re not me.”

    “Explain it properly.” Jo said, looking annoyed at me.

    “Can I explain?”

    “At this point, explain, I want to know.”

    “Someone was flirting with Phoon. Today at work, he was persistently flirting until Phoon got angry at him.”

    “Persistent?” Jo raised his eyebrows, repeating my words, “How so?”

    “North said he asked for Phoon’s LINE in the studio, but Phoon didn’t give it to him. He then caused a fuss, saying he wouldn’t continue with the shoot if he didn’t get Phoon’s LINE. So, Phoon scolded him once during the shoot. Even after it was over, he still tried to talk to him, following him all the way to the car.”

    “Hmm, and then what?”

    “That’s it, he got scolded, Phoon left, so there probably won’t be anything more to it.”

    “Not necessarily, they might meet again, a photographer and a model.”

    “…”

    “Seriously, do you think if he really likes Phoon, he won’t be able to find Phoon’s contact?”

    “Jo.”

    “Oh, you’re getting mad?”

    “Don’t stir things up.”

    “I’m not stirring, just think about what I said, did I say anything wrong?”

    “…”

    I fell silent and sighed a little to calm myself down. Phoon’s refusal today was good, but North texted to say that the guy seemed very serious, and as Jo said, he might easily find Phoon’s contact. My phone vibrated again. I looked down at the new message.

    North: Oh, Phii Fah. I forgot to tell you.

       North’: That guy even held Phoon’s hand.

       North’: Like, twice, I think.

       T.fha: Do you know his name or any other information?

       “Jo.”

    “?”

    “What should I do?”

    “I don’t like it, but there’s nothing we can do about it, right?”

    “Are you talking to me?”

    “You can’t tell me not to go to work, but I can’t stop others from looking either.”

    “Hmm, I understand, your wife is cute.”

    “Yeah, it’s annoying.” Arthit, who had been silent for a while, said with exasperation.

    “That’s just how it is if you don’t have one.”

    “Yeah, it’s frustrating.” Arthit said as he slumped back onto the table to nap, before Hill walked out of the room.

    “What’s wrong? You look stressed.”

    “Someone was flirting with Phoon,” Jo answered for me, “and it seems like they were trying to buy him too, so Fah is a bit tense.”

    “Oh.”

    “Do you have any good advice?” I turned to ask Hill who had just arrived at the table.

    “Accept it.”

    “Huh?”

    “Accept it. I don’t like it when anyone looks at my partner either, but in some situations, we can’t control it. You know that, Tonfah, why are you asking?”

    “Hmm, I understand.” I nodded slightly and sighed. Just like Hill said, there are some situations we truly can’t control. If it were like before, when I was the one to take Phoon to work and watch over him, no one would dare approach Phoon. They might just sneak a peek, but in today’s situation, there’s really nothing we can do about it. “Well, it’s good that Phoon turned him down, but if he persists, it won’t be good.”

    “If he persists, he’s not smart.” Johan said.

    “Yeah, that wouldn’t be very smart.”

       Typhoon

       “How was your day?” I walked over to Phii Fah, giving him a hug as we usually do whenever he returns to the room, tiptoeing to lightly kiss his cheek. Phii Fah smiled back and kissed my cheek in return.

    “It was good, how about you Phoon?”

    “He’s good too. Despite a small issue, work went smoothly.” I answered, “Shall we have dinner?”

    “Yes.”

    After we finished eating together, I took the dishes to wash at the sink. Phii Fah went to take a shower, and after a while, he came out. I dried my wet hands and walked closer to him.

    “Phii Fah…do you want to read?”

    “Phoon”

    “Yes?”

    “Is there anything you haven’t told me?”

    “Huh? Oh…uh, well…”

    “Did someone hit on you today?”

    “How did you know?” I asked, tilting my head curiously, “Not that I wouldn’t tell, I just forgot. I meant to tell you when you got back, but then we had dinner and chatted, and I forgot.”

    “North told me.”

    “Oh…Are you angry, Phii Fah?”

    “What should I say, he was pretty insistent with you, wasn’t he?”

    “But I already turned him down, clearly said I have a boyfriend.”

    “Why did you let him hold your hand then?”

    “I shook it off,” I tried to explain immediately because I was afraid it might cause problems between us, but it seemed too late as Phii Fah looked displeased, “Phii Fah…are you mad at me?”

    “No, forget it.”

    “…”

    “Just a little annoyed,” Phii Fah smiled, then pulled me into a hug,

    “Which hand?”

    “Huh?”

    “The one he held, which hand?”

    “Uh, here,” I raised my right hand, Phii Fah took that hand, kissing it all over, nibbling gently on my wrist, which left me stunned and my face flushed with heat.

    “How did he hold it? Isn’t this mine?”

    “Yes, I’ll be careful. No one will get to it.”

    “Yes, so this is also mine, right?”

    The person in front of me glanced at my lips, pressing down with his thumb lightly before our eyes met. I knew my face must have turned red again, my heart beating even faster.

    “Yes…it’s yours.”

    “…”

    “The whole body, the whole heart, hmm.” Before his thick lips came down for a gentle kiss, his warm tongue intruded without waiting for my permission, and of course, I didn’t resist, letting him take everything he wanted. Phii Fah lifted me off the ground. I closed my eyes, accepting every touch from his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck.

    Phii Fah laid me down on the bed on the balcony, close by. I leaned back on the pillow as he leaned in. We kissed, our tongues mingling with embarrassing sounds, biting each other’s lips gently and forcefully, our warm breaths mixing with hearts beating like we were out of breath.

    I ran my fingers through his soft hair, Phii Fah slowly unbuttoned my shirt, his hands roaming over my bare chest, the warmth making my body react immediately. Phii Fah pulled back from the kiss slowly, moving to my neck and ear, making my mind go blank.    He bit into the crook of my neck. It hurt, and I knew it would leave a mark, then he moved down to suck on my nipple, biting and licking it. I arched my back with the tingling sensation.

    “Hmm, oh, ah!” I inadvertently moaned as Phii Fah left red marks on my chest, starting with one, then two, moving down to my stomach. I felt a twist in my gut, my breath catching with the ache in my hardening core, “Kiss…”

    “Hmm?”

    “Kiss.” I whispered, and he moved from my stomach back to my lips for another kiss, this one more intense, biting my upper and lower lips fiercely, but I didn’t resist. Then my pants were taken off, and my skin felt the gentle breeze outside on the balcony, “Hmm, ah.”    Phii Fah spread my legs apart, his slender fingers touching the back entrance with gel, causing me to shiver slightly at the cold touch.

    “Umm…uh, why…” I was about to ask why there was gel.

    “Last time we did it here, don’t you remember?”

    “Oh…uh,” I averted my eyes a bit shyly; when I said we should change the atmosphere, I meant for Phii Fah to read a book. Not to change the atmosphere in this way. Unintentionally, his slender fingers pushed inside me, “Ah! Umm…”

    I moaned in my throat when I was kissed again, feeling his fingers pushing in and out. Soon, he added more fingers, increasing the intensity.

    “Uh…ah, pa…Phii Fah, too…too hard.”

    “It’s just fingers.”

    “Uh, it hurts.”

    “Oh, sorry, but bear with it a bit.”

    “…”

    “Because today someone crossed the line, I want to make you mine quickly.”

    “I…ah, uh, pa…ah, I’m already yours,” I said that before the three slender fingers were withdrawn, replaced by something larger slowly pushing in. Due to the urgency, it hurt more than usual, but I could bear it. I felt Phii Fah slowly entering me, then suddenly thrust all the way in, “Ah!! Uh…”

    Not giving me time to get used to its size, this time Phii Fah started moving, accelerating the pace. I moaned with both pain and pleasure.

       “Ah, uh, ah!!”

    I bit my lower lip and gripped the arms of the person in front of me to cope with the pleasure. As my body adjusted, the pain faded, replaced by increasing pleasure.

       I raised both arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. Phii Fah complied willingly, the movements below still intense and forceful, our tongues intertwining fiercely.

       “Mmm, Phoon.”

    “Ahhh! Uh, yes…”

    “So sexy.”

    “Really…, uh…”

    “Yes, you’ve gotten much better.”

    “I…I want to do it, ugh, ahh,” I almost couldn’t speak properly as the force from the other side hit my body intensely, making my voice go crazy, my heart beat wildly, and my whole body felt hot.

    “Hmm, Phii Fah.”

    “Yes?” Phii Fah answered while looking at me, his eyes almost melting me.

    I didn’t reply before trying to push myself up, throwing myself at him and pushing Phii Fah down to sit, even though he was still inside me. He looked slightly confused before smiling.

    Now, I was sitting on Phii Fah.

       I leaned my face closer and kissed him, our hot tongues and breaths intertwining. I started to move my hips up and down slowly, feeling a tightness in my lower abdomen because of his size, but the pleasure made me press down again. His strong hands caressed my hips before guiding them up and down.

    “Ugh, ahh,” I pulled away from the kiss and rested my forehead on his neck, both hands gripping his shoulders, my hips moving with the guidance of his hands. When I pressed down on the sensitive spot repeatedly, I couldn’t help but moan, trying to suppress it by biting my lip, but it never worked. The warm breath from the person in front of me grew more rapid, accompanied by deep moans from his throat.    Soon, I felt like I was about to finish, holding back as the body in front of me twitched slightly. I then released the cloudy white liquid along with Phii Fah.

    Phii Fah lifted me up slowly, kissing all over my cheeks. I, breathless, just leaned against him like that.

    Phii Fah took off the condom, tied it, and threw it into the nearby trash can before reaching for another condom.

    Because Phii Fah said that using a condom is better because you don’t have to clean up often.

    We could do more rounds this way.

       Oh…

       “Ahhh, ugh,” Phii Fah turned me around, pulled my hips closer, thrust himself in again, and started to move, increasing the tempo, making my whole body sway with the force. I gripped the bed sheet tightly to cope with the sensation, glanced back at the person behind me slightly, the waist thrusts were relentless, making me moan louder,

    “Ugh, ahh, ugh, there, right there.”

    “Right here?”

    “Y…yes, ugh…”

    “Your spot, huh?” Phii Fah said with a hoarse, low voice, before thrusting into my sensitive spot, shattering my consciousness once again.

    “Ugh…ahh, umm, oh!” I cried out when I felt a sharp pain in my back; Phii Fah left red marks all over my back again, just like he always does when we have sex. I let him leave his marks of ownership wherever he wanted because I truly belong to him.

    We have sex often and multiple times each session; every time feels so good, and there’s no sign of boredom. I think Phii Fah feels the same. We start with deep kissing, and if it’s a day off or we have some free time, it always ends with sex; it’s not a bad thing since it’s with someone I love. I try to make myself stronger for my lover’s pleasure.    Our love story continues. This time it was more intense and took a bit longer than before; when reaching the climax, Phii Fah withdrew.

    No matter how many times, it always feels tight, probably because it’s just too big.

       My body has started to adjust. Even though it hurts, I can bear it; Phii Fah got dressed and then just put a shirt on me before carrying me to the bathtub.

       “Shall I bathe you?” Phii Fah asked while stroking my slightly wet hair.

    His gaze has never changed.

       Since the day I agreed.

       It’s always full of love, warmth, and kindness.

       “It’s okay, I’ll go out to find you later.”

    “I want to soak for a long time, but it’s good to hurry too. I miss you, I want to hug you.”

    “You hugged me just now.”

    “Sleep hugging, hurry up. Otherwise, I definitely won’t have the energy to read.”

    “Uh, sure.” I agreed, and Phii Fah leaned his face close, touched his lips to mine, pressing a little harder before pulling back, smiled at me, and then left the bathroom. I leaned back against the bathtub and soaked in the warm water like that.

       I’m already won over.

       What kind of person is this?

       The best at being clingy.

       And I’m defeated, defeated from the start. Why do I always make myself so vulnerable? There’s no way out like this.

       I soaked in the hot water for a while until I felt it was enough, then got up from the tub, put on pajamas, and went to find someone reading on the bed on the balcony. Phii Fah seems to really like the setup I arranged for him.

       I sat down and moved closer, slowly nestling into the person in front of me. Phii Fah slowly reached out to hug me.

       “When’s the next exam?”

    “Tomorrow.”

    “You have to go out to study with the seniors from the medical faculty, right?”

    “Yes, will you come along?”

    “Yes, I’ll bring my work to do.”

    “Work? Oh, photo editing?”

    “Yes.”

    “Did it hurt earlier? Was I too rough?”

    “Ugh, being rough and then asking like this every time.” I pretended to be slightly annoyed. The person hugging me immediately looked uncomfortable. I couldn’t help but smile, then gently pinched his nose,

    “Jealous type.”

    “Yes, my boyfriend is so cute.”

    “But it’s a pity, isn’t it? Jealous but not actually jealous because Dust takes care of everything.” I said with a smile. Phii Fah chuckled a bit before gently pinching my cheeks.

    “Oh my, I love you so much I can barely handle it.”

    “Then don’t handle it, love me lots.”

    “I can’t love you more than this, it’s the maximum. I’m going to die from love.”

    “If you die from loving me, I’ll bring you back to life to love me again.”

    “You won’t let me go anywhere, will you?”    “Definitely not.”

    “You’re really good at being clingy, number one indeed.

    And you always lose, you’ve been losing since forever, why do you keep acting like this? With this attitude, you’ll never get anywhere.    “This is as much as I can handle, it’s the end; I’m going to die of love.”

    “If you love me until you die, I will revive you Phii Fah to love

    Phoon again.”

    “You won’t let me go anywhere, right?”

    “Definitely not.”

    “Alright, then I won’t go anywhere.”

    “Mm, I won’t go anywhere either then.”

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY,  Epilogue Chapter: Grow Old Together

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY,  Epilogue Chapter: Grow Old Together

       I woke up early in the morning as usual, always an early riser. Even though I was tired from yesterday’s walk around the zoo, thanks to North and Ter, who couldn’t just walk normally but kept wanting to play piggyback or something, acting like kids. That’s why they need me to take care of them.

    I found that the person who usually sleeps beside me was not there. At half past five, this is when Phii Fah should be sleeping. No matter how much studying he has to do, he goes to bed by two in the morning; that’s our agreement, and Phii Fah has never broken this promise or agreement even once.

    This means he didn’t just not go to sleep; he’s already woken up.    I slowly got out of bed, opened the bedroom door, and saw the person I was thinking about sitting at the desk.

    “You’re up early,” I greeted.

    “Yes, good morning.”

    “What time did you wake up? And what time did you go to bed last night?”

    “I woke up around half past four, went to bed at nine.”

    “You slept early,” I said, because usually, nine o’clock is when Phii Fah would be studying intently.

    “I was a bit tired, I guess.”

    “And why did you wake up so early today?”

    “I thought I’d go for a run today.”

    “Oh, you haven’t gone running in a while.”

    “Yes, will you come?”

    “Yes, I’ll go with you.”

    Since Phii Fah exercises quite often, I’ve noticed that all the doctors exercise regularly. At first, I wasn’t very keen, but when we had free time, we went to the fitness center or the gym together, and once I started exercising, I got hooked. Phii Fah said it helps clear the mind.

    I’ve also heard that exercise can improve brain function, so if that’s true, this might be another secret to the doctors’ academic success.    Since Phii Fah doesn’t have much time, he doesn’t go to the gym often, preferring to run in the morning instead. If he doesn’t stay up late studying and can wake up early, he always invites me, who wakes up early anyway, to go running at the university’s sports field. Of course, I go with him. Last time we went, we ran into North and Phii

    Jo. I wonder if we’ll see them again this time.

       “Are you sure you’re okay?” Phii Fah asked, repeating the same question for maybe the third time since yesterday evening when we got back from Suan Sathorn and I got a little wet from the rain. Not that I was out in the rain, just got splashed a bit while we were trying to avoid it; it was just a few drops, “You didn’t wake up with a headache, did you?”    “No, I’m fine,” I answered.

    “Good to hear, will you run with me, or just sit and watch like last time?”

    “I never just sit and watch,” I protested.

    “Okay, I will count walking about twenty meters as running then.”    “Last time, I played with North because he was tired, and you guys didn’t wait for us,” I said, referring to Phii Jo and Phii Fah, who ran off without waiting for us, so we had to sit and play while waiting because we couldn’t keep up.    “Then let’s run together this time.”

    “Yes,” I nodded before going to change into a t-shirt, track pants, and running shoes that Phii Fah bought for me without asking first, saying that if he had asked, I wouldn’t have let him. Who would let someone buy such expensive shoes? But Phii Fah said they were safer, so he bought them.

    In exchange, I would exercise more often to make it worth the price.

    Okay, today I’ll make sure to exercise enough to justify the cost of these shoes!!

    “Are you okay?” Phii Fah asked with concern as we walked back to our room together, after I said I would run to make the shoe price worth it. I’ll say here that I did my best; a little more and I could have trained to be in the SEALs, “You did great for two laps.”

    “I managed two and a half laps.”

    “Yes, yes, ran two laps, walked half.”

    “We’ll go again tomorrow, and I will run like a SEAL.”

    “That much? SEALs don’t just train by running.”

    “Just running is enough, I’m already exhausted.”

    “I will go to class now, do you want to go anywhere today?”

    “Uh, no, I’ll stay in the room.”

    “Okay, I finish at three in the afternoon, I’ll hurry back.”

    “If I could drive, it would be good.”

    “Huh?”

    “I could drive you to class and pick him up, so you wouldn’t have to drive yourself.”

    “Oh, do you want to drive?”

    “Yes, but I can ride a motorcycle, right? Should I take a big bike to drop you off at school?”    “Would your legs reach?”

    “Big bikes are too tall, but I can reach a regular motorcycle.”

    “Oh, that’s true.”

    “What’s the matter?”

    “Nothing, then I should go to class first.”

    Tonfah

       “What’s wrong, Fah?”

    “Huh? Me?”

    “Is your name Fah?”

    “Uh, just thinking about something,” I answered Hill, taking my eyes off the study sheet to look at the person sitting opposite me,

    “Have you ever thought about the day when you’re not here?”

    “Dead?”

    “Uh.”

    “Why suddenly ask that?”

    “I don’t know, have you ever thought about what would happen if you suddenly died, what would Ter do?”

    “Is the question too hard?” Jo asked when he saw Hill looking troubled. Hill nodded in response.

    “I’ve thought about it, but I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to leave Ter.”

    “You don’t want to, who would want to? But it’s not up to you whether you want it or not.”

    “Jo, do you have some serious illness? Why are you suddenly talking about dying?” Jo asked, “Did you find out something from a check-up? Just having Arthit with AIDS is enough.”

    “Jo, I don’t have AIDS.”

    “Have you taken your medicine today?” Hill teased.

    “I have, damn it, you too?”

    “I’m not sick with anything,” I replied, “I just thought, what if I die?”

    “Ah, I could be your funeral host if you’re going to worry this much. How big of a funeral do you want, just leave your instructions.”    “That’s not what I mean, Jo. I mean, what about Phoon? Who will take care of him? He’s still so forgetful and clumsy, worrying about everything he does, getting sick from just a little rain.”    “Oh,” Jo nodded, furrowing his brows, “You worry too much.”

    “Sigh. How can I not worry? And will I be able to die in peace?”

    “How old are you, Fah? You sound like an old man,” Arthit asked, “Last time it was about kids, now you’re talking about dying in peace.”

    “He is the type who likes to plan for the future,” Hill said, “But I never thought he’d plan for his own death.”

    “It’s good to think ahead. I think,” I said, “What do you guys think?”

    “Hmm. I don’t know, but you’re right, it doesn’t hurt to think about it. I want Ter to be able to take care of himself when I’m not here, I will probably save up a lot of money so Ter won’t have to struggle,” Hill said, letting out a small sigh, “Talking about this really makes me feel old.”    “And you, Jo?”

    “To be honest, I plan to sign a will leaving all my assets to North, but there’s one condition: no new husband, no new wife.”

    “Still jealous even after death,” I teased.

    “Yeah, using my money for a new partner? That’s too much disrespect.”

    “Yeah, if I die, I wouldn’t want Ter to have someone new, but who would take care of him, damn.”    “You seem confused, Hill,” I said.

    “Hey, Fah, if Phoon gets a new partner after you die, would you be okay with that?” Jo asked me.

    “I don’t know, but if Phoon has someone to look after him, it would be good, right? Even thinking about it makes me mad, though.”    “Damn,” Jo said, laughing a bit, “That’s so like you, but I think

    Phoon won’t have anyone, he’s only had one person his whole life.”    “That’s what makes me more worried.”

    “It’s good that you think ahead, but aren’t you thinking too much?

    It’s like you think you’re going to die tomorrow,” Hill said, furrowing his brows, which made me sigh a little, I guess I was overthinking it.

    “Yeah, look at Arthit, he’s not thinking this much even though he might die tomorrow.”

    “Why bring me into this? I was just quietly staying out of it, damn.”    “So, what do you plan to do?” Hill asked again.

    “Same as you, I guess, save a lot of money so he won’t struggle, do as much as I can.”

    “Did you teach Phoon to take care of himself?” Hill asked.

    “Uh, Phoon always tries to take care of himself, so I don’t worry. Like yesterday at the zoo, he seemed okay, mainly the issue was getting lost. If he graduates and gets a job, with the money I’ve saved, if he can drive himself around, there shouldn’t be much to worry about.”

    “Do you realize, Fah?”

    “What?”

    “You’re like a father,” Hill said.

    “Yeah, that’s right,” Jo added, “Like a father making sure his child has a job, an income, savings, can take care of himself, then there’s nothing much to worry about, more than a partner.”

    “Is that so? But I think that way. It’s not that I don’t want to take care of him, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it forever, so I want him to take care of himself.”

    “Uh, I understand,” Hill nodded slightly, “I think the same way, do as much as you can while you have the time. But why do I sound like

    Fah is about to die?”

    “Don’t curse me, if I can, I’d like to be with Phoon for a long time.”    “Ha, you don’t seem afraid of dying, Fah, you look like you’ll live the longest.”    “Why’s that?”

    “You don’t drink, hardly smoke, drive safely, exercise, and live a good life,” Jo said, turning to look at Arthit.

    “Me again?”

    “I didn’t even say anything yet.”

    “But I want to live long too,” Arthit said, “Even if I drink, smoke, and drive like crap, I still exercise.”

    “Can exercise really compensate for everything?” I asked.

    “Yeah, even cancer can be cured by lifting weights.”

    “No wonder you’re studying to be a doctor,” Hill said, letting out a big sigh, “But being stupid can’t be cured by lifting weights.”    “Exactly, Jo’s been lifting weights for a year and he’s still not smart.”

    “Hill is insulting you, you ox.”

    “Is Hill insulting me?”

    “No, just stating facts, did he mention your name?”

    “Yeah, Jo, you ox.”

    “Talking about death, you might just get hit by a car while walking,

    Arthit.”

    “That car would have to be a black Audi,” I said, because a black Audi is Jo’s favorite car.

    “No, a truck, to make sure you die on the spot.”

    “Jo you’re not gentle at all,” Arthit said, making a grumpy face at Jo.

    Typhoon

       And so, my day was spent redecorating the balcony. Originally, it was just an empty space with a few potted plants, but because I had some free time and wanted to surprise Phii Fah, I decided to give it a new look. I took an old mattress I found in the storage room, cleaned it, and left it out to dry.

       Well, it can’t really be called a surprise because Phii Fah saw me drying the mattress, and I even had to ask him to help me carry it since I couldn’t lift it alone. He asked what I was doing, and when I told him I was redecorating the balcony, he didn’t say anything. I laid out the old mattress to make a bed and strung up some decorative lights around it. I added pillows, bed sheets, and blankets too.    The bed was just the right size for the balcony. I placed several pillows around the bed, put a small side table next to it, and moved the potted plants so they wouldn’t be in the way.

       Will this be okay, or will I get scolded for doing this? Probably not.

    They didn’t say anything when I took the bedding out to air it. While I was standing there admiring my work, Phii Fah came back.

       “Phii Fah, Phii Fah!”

    “Yes? What’s up, you look excited.”

    “Close your eyes.”

    “Huh?”

    “Close your eyes, please.”

    “Oh, okay, is there a surprise?”

    “Just want to make you anticipate,” I said, before the person in front of me slowly closed his eyes after taking off his backpack. I held his hand and led him to the balcony. When we stopped at the newly arranged area, I let go of his hand, “Don’t open your eyes yet, please.” “Okay.”

    I moved to turn on the decorative lights on the balcony, which were there for beauty; once it’s dark, just turning them on makes the atmosphere really nice.

    “You can open your eyes now.”

    Phii Fah slowly opened his eyes, looking a bit surprised at what was in front of him before giving me a big smile.

    “It’s beautiful, you’re so good, did you do this all day?”    “Yes, but I cleaned the bathroom, swept and mopped the room, organized things, and cleaned the kitchen before doing this.”

    “You worked hard, thank you.”

    “Hehe, do you like it?”

    “I do.”

    “As long as you like it, it was worth the effort,” I smiled, then walked over and sat down on the bed, “The atmosphere is nice like this, right? You could come out here to study, but we need to spray for mosquitoes first.”

    Phii Fah didn’t say anything, just came and sat next to me. When we’re together like this, the atmosphere is really nice, truly romantic, with the yellow light reflecting on his handsome face, which looked a bit tired.

       “How was your day?”

    “Huh?”

    “Was studying tiring? Tell me about it.”

    “Phoon you asks me every day.”

    “I want to listen.”

    “Then let’s talk about you first. Was work tiring? Actually, you don’t have to do it, we can hire a housekeeper like before.”    “Am I not as good at cleaning as the housekeeper?”

    “No, that’s not it. I’m just worried you might get tired.”

    “Phii Fah you asked me from the start, and now, I want to do it. It’s okay, you don’t need to hire a housekeeper anymore, just hire me.”

    “Cleaning this well, the wages would be quite expensive.”

    “Not expensive, just one kiss.”

    “What are you saying, now you’re being very cute.”

    “Hehe, I say this, and you get all shy, you are cute.”

    “No need,” Phii Fah said before pulling me onto his lap, embracing me from behind, and gently kissing the side of my lips. He pulled away shortly after, “Here’s today’s wage.”

    “Uh.”

    “And you’re the one getting shy.”

    “I am not shy, it’s you Phii Fah who’s blushing.”

    “Yes, yes,” Phii Fah said with affection, leaning back against the pillows I had prepared, which allowed me to rest against his chest again. I stretched out my legs for comfort, “What’s next?”    “Hmm? I just did the cleaning like every day. Nothing interesting.”

    “You can tell me, I want to listen, I like listening to your voice.” “…Uh, when you went to class, I washed the dishes and put them away, then cleaned the bathroom, but it was already clean so just polished the sink and organized the toiletries, swept and mopped the room, washed the cleaning cloth. Initially, I was going to do the laundry too, but there were no clothes to wash, your lab coat was already ironed, then I organized the room, refilled the water in the vase, took out the trash, and then arranged this balcony.”

    “Oh, you really worked hard, are you interested in getting a raise?”    “…Uh, that’s enough, thank you,” I said, frowning slightly, “Tell me about your day, Phii Fah.”

    “In the morning, I had a lecture. In the afternoon, it was lab time. With finals coming up, the professor is pushing the content a bit, saying he’s afraid he won’t cover everything in time.”

    “Wow, is there too much content?”

    “Exactly, there’s a lot. I might not even get to sleep, should I tell the professor to reduce it a bit? My boyfriend is already worried.”    “That would be bad to say,” I said but didn’t turn around, “I also peeked at your textbooks.”

    “How was it?”

    “I didn’t understand anything, and it’s all in English too.”

    “That’s how it is, if you want to be a doctor, you’ll face this.”

    “That’s good then, I would definitely die, especially if I have to dissect. When I was studying biology, dissecting a frog was already a big deal,” I said, thinking back to the first frog dissection made my stomach churn.

    “At first, you said you wanted to be a doctor.”

    “That was then, this is now. I’m not up for it anymore.”    “Uh, studying what you like is good, so you can do work you enjoy.”

    “What about you Phii Fah?”

    “Huh?”

    “Do you like being a doctor?” I asked softly because Phii Fah once said he didn’t know what he truly liked, “When you told me before, you said you were always expected to be one, so you didn’t know what your real dream was.”

    “I know now.”

    “What is it?”

    “You and the kids”

    “…”

    “Really. Studying medicine now isn’t bad, it’s something I can do well. Plus, if I weren’t a doctor, I wouldn’t know what else to be.

    After graduation, I’d work for my father, fulfilling my parents’ expectations. I don’t want to go against them because I don’t have any strong dreams myself. If I had clearer dreams, maybe I would oppose my parents, but since I don’t, I don’t know what else to do.”

    “Because what you’re doing isn’t bad, right?”

    “Yes, and now I have another dream which is to take good care of you and our kids. If I can continue my father’s work, it’s a stable job that can provide a comfortable life for you and the kids, isn’t it?”

    When he says it’s stable enough, it’s probably an understatement. Being the owner of a private hospital with multiple branches across the country is beyond just ‘stable enough.’

    “I want you to stay at home and look after the kids. I will work.”    “Are you crazy? I had to work too,” I argued immediately.

    “You can take on some photography jobs, but don’t work too hard.”

    “That’s not fair, then you will work hard alone.”

    “I can do it.”

    “And will you have time for the kids?” I asked, my tone turning a bit serious, “you must make time for the kids; they won’t love you if you don’t.”

    “Wow, being threatened that the kids won’t love me, that hurts.”    “Uh, you need to spend a lot of time playing with the kids.”    “Then I will save up first, a lot, before we have kids. That way, I won’t have to work too hard then.”

    “How much is a lot?”

    “Would a hundred million be enough? I want to send the kids to an international school.”

    “…”

    What kind of person asks if a hundred million is enough?    “International schools are better, they’ll meet diverse people and learn languages naturally.”

    “You’ve planned everything out, huh?” I said, but I wasn’t surprised if Phii Fah had plans or thought about the future; that’s just like him, “I guess so, I need to practice languages then. Otherwise, I won’t be able to talk with our child’s friends.”

    “Start practicing from now.”

    “Yes, I will start practicing tomorrow,” I said, then realized we were talking about children without any embarrassment, which made me feel a bit shy, “But why does it need to be a hundred million? Is international school tuition that expensive?”

    “It’s not just the tuition, Phoon, there are so many other expenses, like housing, cars…”

    “Uh, yes, I seem to not think about planning at all.”

    “It’s okay, let me handle the planning for this,” said the deep voice of the person hugging me from behind, “Phoon.”

    “Yes?”

    “I will do everything possible, if one day I am not here, will you be okay?”

    “…Phii Fah.”

    “Oh, did I make it sound too sad? It’s just a hypothetical scenario.”

    “Are you seriously ill?” I asked immediately, pulling myself out of his embrace, sitting cross-legged to look at Phii Fah with a serious, concerned, and worried expression that made my heart ache.

    “…You sound just like Jo.”

    “Phii Fah, do you have cancer, or is it heart disease? No, diabetes? No, Phii Fahyou don’t like sweets, gout? No, no, you don’t smoke much, right? Not lung cancer then. You don’t drink a lot either, you sleep too little, it must be related to blood pressure, I’ve told you so many times not to sleep so little, you sneak in after two in the morning, don’t you? Phoon will beat you, why don’t you listen? What do we do now? Have you seen a doctor? They have medication for blood pressure now, don’t give up yet.”

    “…Phoon.”

    “We need to call uncle, I will ask him to send someone, I will request for you to be admitted, or should we call an ambulance, an ambu…”

    “Phoon, calm down, your voice is cracking.”

    “Don’t take diseases lightly!” I said seriously, looking at Phii Fah until he stopped, quickly getting up from the bed to grab the phone to call his uncle, but Phii Fah held me back first.

    “Calm down first, I am fine.”

    “Don’t lie, Phii Fah is lying to make me feel comfortable, right? It’s okay, you can talk about anything with me, no need to be scared. Medicine has come a long way now, but wait, Phii Fah you are a doctor, he should know.”

    “…Yes, I know.”

    “Are you tricking me?” I furrowed my brow immediately upon seeing that the other person seemed not at all distressed, “This kind of trick would be too cruel.”

    “I’m not tricking him at all, I haven’t even said a word about any illness.”

    “Then why suddenly talk about death?” I protested while making a pouty face. Phii Fah gave a small smile before pulling me into the same embrace, resting his chin on my shoulder and nuzzling my cheek in a conciliatory manner.

    “I am just hypothesizing that in ten years, if I am not here, could you manage?”

    “…Hmm,” I bit my lip without realizing when I understood what the other was trying to convey, something like, if one day Phii Fah isn’t here, could I cope? I don’t know, bringing this up out of the blue like this…”

    “I just thought of it, that’s all.”

    “Then, if it were the other way around, if I wasn’t here, what would you do?”

    “…Oh, I can’t even imagine it.”

    “I can’t imagine it either,” I said softly, “If I said I couldn’t live without you and followed you, you would definitely be very angry with me.”

    “Very angry, yes, don’t ever do that,” he said in a deep voice while tightening his embrace.

    “I know, I won’t do it. It depends on the timing, I suppose. If, hypothetically, you aren’t with me when I am very old, it might not be so bad because soon we’d be together again.”

    “…”

    “If you aren’t here when I am in my sixties, but with grandchildren around, I would be a grandfather playing with our grandchildren, telling them lots of stories about you, thinking of you every day, but who knows if I would still be able to cry at that age.”

    “…”

    “If you aren’t here when I am middle-aged, around forty when the children are growing up, I would be strong for the kids, and still think of you every day, telling the kids lots of stories about you. At that time, he’d probably still cry, maybe cry alone in bed without you, but

    I wouldn’t cry in front of the kids.”

    “…”

    “If you aren’t here when we’re around thirty, we’d probably be starting a family, right? With little kids around, it would definitely be very hard because I would have to raise the kids alone, but I would have to keep fighting, right? Maybe he’d hug the kids and cry, tell them lots of stories about you, and think of you like before, but it would take some time before he could be strong again.”

    “…”

    “If Phii Fah isn’t here just after we graduate, in our early twenties, we might not even have a family yet. Then I wouldn’t have a family at all. I would probably become a photographer, saving money to travel the world, carrying a picture of you everywhere to feel like he’s traveling with you. I spend the rest of my life traveling around the world, and in the final moments of my life, I would come back here, to the place where we lived together.”

    “…”

    “But if you aren’t here now…it would be terrible, really, I can’t even imagine how to handle it.”    “Ah…I understand. Don’t cry.”

    “I’m not crying at all.”

    “You’re so good. Not being stubborn anymore.”

    “Yeah, I am good already,” I said while furrowing my brows, wiping away a small tear. I’m not crying, really. Just a tear or two,

    “What about you Phii Fah?”

    “Huh?”

    “If I were gone, what would you do?”

    “I would go on living alone like this, if there are kids, I’d take the best care of them. I’d look after everything that was ours, be the one to remember our stories, think of you every day, not letting a single moment pass without the memories. Your smile, voice, embrace, laughter, warm tears, scent, I’ll remember them all very well.”

    “Would you not have anyone else?”

    “Would you want me to have someone else?”

    “Well…if I die, I’d want someone to take care of you.”

    “You feel the same, I’d want someone to take care of you Phoon.”

    “No way. It’s not necessary at all. Having just you is enough, the memories of a lifetime are all about you, how could anyone replace that?”

    “I feel the same. There’s no one else.”

    “Then take good care of yourself, if I am not here.”

    “Saying that sounds so sad, even though it’s just a hypothetical scenario.”

    “Well, you brought it up first. Promise to take care of yourself?”

    “Yes, I’ll take good care of myself just like you take care of me. you should do the same, take good care of yourself like I take care of you.”

    “Might not be as good, but I’ll try.”

    “We’ve promised each other,” Phii Fah said as we linked our little fingers together, symbolizing our promise to take good care of ourselves if the other isn’t here, “But if possible, don’t go anywhere, okay?”

    “Be my ghost, you mean?” My question made Phii Fah let out a small laugh.

    “No, not that. Not going anywhere here means not leaving, staying together like this.”

    “Oh, right, yes, if possible, I don’t want to go anywhere, want to stay together for a long time, and don’t want you to leave either.” “Yes, don’t want to go anywhere,” Phii Fah said, tightening his embrace, “Even if we become centenarian grandfathers, I still want to hug you like this.”

    “Even if I’m a hundred and fifty, I still want you to hug me like this too.”

    “Hmm, then let’s go for two hundred.”

    “Wow, two hundred might be pushing it. Realistically, even a hundred might be too much. Let’s do this instead, I don’t know how long I will live, so let’s grow old together.”    “That sounds good, growing old together.”

    “As uncles, grandfathers, great-grandfathers together.”

    “Yes, I will be a papa, a grandfather, and then a great-grandfather along with you Phoon.”

    Hearing that, I turned to give Phii Fah a broad smile, filled with warmth in my heart, because if not this person, there would be no one else for the rest of my life, today, tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years, twenty years. No matter how many decades, it would still be this person.

       In the many decades to come

       We’ll probably be two old men who walk hand in hand, smiling at each other, taking care of each other just like always.

       “Phoon loves Phii Fah.”

    “Phii Fah loves Phoon too.”

    Because no matter what, it has to be this person.

       So let’s grow old together, okay?    Happy Ending

       Let’s grow old together: )

        SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 41: Friend

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 41: Friend

       Tonfah

       Before Phoon sent the message about wanting to go out, there was no reason to stop him since he wanted to hang out with friends, and it’s just the zoo they were going to. The only thing I was worried about was him getting lost, hoping he wouldn’t get too caught up in taking photos to forget about his friends.    But I told North and Ter to look after Phoon.

    Time passed until lunchtime. I called Phoon who was out sightseeing, seeing that they were having fun walking around and taking photos. Now they were eating, and not long after, I hung up to go get something to eat too.

    I came to the faculty’s cafeteria to eat because I was too lazy to walk far.

    “Do you have more classes after this?” Jo asked. I nodded in response, “What’s the heavy subject?”    “Still not used to it?” I asked.

    “I’m used to it, but I want to complain.”

    “Uh, finals are coming up soon.”

    “Can we not talk about that, Hill? I’m discouraged,” Arthit complained, letting out a big sigh, “Even the food isn’t good, damn it, nothing’s going my way.”

    “I told you that place isn’t good,” Jo said.

    “It’s less crowded, I’m too lazy to wait.”

    “Then just eat and don’t complain.”

    “But Phoon, why would he suggest going to Suan Sathorn?” Hill turned to ask me.

    “He probably likes today’s light, so he wants to go take photos, and he must be free too.”    “Oh.”

    “Uh, Jo, Hill.”

    “What? / What?”

    “Can I ask you something?”

    “What is it?”

    “Have you guys ever talked about kids?”

    “Huh?” My question made both of them look a bit surprised before

    Hill answered, “Yeah, Ter said he wants to adopt.”

    “North asked me,” Jo replied, “but I don’t like kids, so no.”    “Oh, okay,” I nodded to Jo, “Then, Hill, about adopting, did you talk about anything more than that?”

    “No,” Hill shook his head slightly, “He wouldn’t answer when I asked.”

    “Shy?” I raised my eyebrows in question, and the person I asked nodded instead of answering, “Ah, same here.”

    “Why ask all of a sudden?”

    “Last night, Phoon was drunk and started talking about kids, asking if I’d have time for them even though I work hard, and if I’d be a cute dad to them,” I explained, “The peak was when he said he’d run away with the kid if I scolded him.”

    My words made everyone at the table burst out laughing together.

       “Phoon would run away with the kid from you?” Jo asked, still laughing, “Holy shit, that’s pitiful.”

    “I feel sorry for you,” Arthit said, “Getting run off with the kids, the heart of a father, huh?”

    “Yeah, that’s right. Doesn’t he think about the heart of a father like me?” I said, laughing along with them.

    “But have you guys talked about kids already? That’s fast,” Arthit commented.

    “We haven’t talked about it seriously. Just casual talk,” I said, “But seriously, time flies, I’ll be twenty-four when I graduate with Phoon.” Because my degree is for six years, and Phoon took two gap years, so we’ll graduate at the same time.

    “And have you thought about your future?” Hill turned to ask Arthit, who immediately looked confused.

    “Why are you asking me? Uh, I don’t know, let’s graduate first.”    “Will you work as a doctor after you graduate?” I asked.    “I’ve studied for six years; let me put that to use,” Arthit’s answer made us all look at him in surprise, “Why, what’s so surprising? I am a doctor.”

    “Just tell us which hospital you’ll be at, so I won’t drive by,” Jo said.

    “One day, you’ll definitely have to come to me for treatment, Johan,

    I’m telling you now.”

    “Better if I die elsewhere. Don’t come to treat me, if the only doctor is you.”

    “What’s so bad about me, huh?”

    “You’re the one who always has Fah helping you with work, right?”

    “Hill, you underestimate me too much.”

    “Have I ever judged you wrongly?”

    “Yeah.”

    Before we could say more, I got a video call from Phoon. I quickly answered.

    (Phii Fah)

       “Yes, how’s it going, are you having fun?”

    (Look, oh, everyone’s here, North, Ter, come here), Phoon turned to wave at Ter and North who were behind him, it looked like they were feeding giraffes, (Just now, North threw a carrot at the giraffe’s head, Phii Jo.)

       “Why do that?” Jo raised his eyebrows in question.

    (Phii, North was surprised, out of nowhere he just stuck his neck out, is he crazy?)

       “I told you to go have fun, not to go and mess around.”

    (Serves him right, got scolded by Phii Jo), Phoon turned to tease North, who immediately made a grumpy face at Jo, (Hehe, have you eaten yet?)

       “You seem so cheerful, yes, I’ve eaten, I’ll be heading back to study soon.”

    (Ah, hehe, just showing off how much fun I had.)

       (It was fun, weren’t you tired?), North said.

    (You’re just bad at it, can’t help it.)

       “What’s that?”

    (At the hill just now, we played rock-paper-scissors. Whoever

    lost had to let the winner ride on Phoon’s back, and I carried North like a horse all the way.)

       “Oh, Jo, North must be tired,” I said.

    “Uh, I never win at rock-paper-scissors anyway.”

    (Phii Jo!)North suddenly appeared in full view on the camera, talking to Jo, so much so that nothing else was visible, startling me a bit, (Side with me! Phoon and Ter are ganging up on me, huh?)

       (Why are you so loud?), Phoon’s voice came before the person holding the phone pushed North away, (Let’s stop for now, we’re going to continue our adventure.)

       (Shh, Phii Fah, Phii Hill, pay up three million before I kill your partners and bury them in Suan Sathorn). I couldn’t help but laugh at North’s words, (I have the hostages with me. If this reaches the police, I’ll pinch Phoon’s arm until it bruises.)

       “Oh. It won’t reach the police, I’ll transfer the money,” I said, “Give me the account number.”

    (Phii Fah, you serious? I was just joking.)

       “Really? But you always seem serious about money, was that a joke too?”

    (That one was serious, but it’s different.)

       “How is it different?”

    (Uh…we are going now! Phii Fah, don’t transfer money, or I’ll get scolded for sure.)

       “Eh,” I accidentally spoke out when North made a funny face and disappeared from the camera, leaving only Phoon’s image again, “Phii Fah you has to go to class now, it looks like it might rain, did you bring an umbrella, ah, no, I didn’t bring an umbrella.”    “Ter brought an umbrella,” Hill said.

    “Oh, so we can share it, right?”

    (Yes, I’ll share the umbrella with Ter, but Phii Jo, there’s not enough umbrella. I’ll have to ask for permission to let North wear a plastic bag on his head), Phoon’s words made Jo laugh a little,

    (Just kidding, we’ll take the zoo’s shuttle if it rains.)

       “Okay. Take care of yourself and your friends.”

    (Yes!)

       …

       Tonfah

       “Is this the first time you’ve seen him joking with Phii Jo?” Ter asked with a surprised look after I ended the video call.

    “Probably, I feel like Phii Jo can be playful, and today I’m in an excellent mood, let’s go!”

    “Yeah, I believe it, you’re in such high spirits, what did you do last night?”

    “I didn’t do anything!” I replied to North sternly, “Come on, piggyback ride.”

    “I’m not giving you a ride, it’s embarrassing.”

    “Embarrassing for what? There’s no one around.” I said. I wasn’t sure why, but the zoo wasn’t as lively as I thought; there were hardly any people, just a few tourists since we arrived.

    “Let’s do rock-paper-scissors again, you win once and want me to carry you around the whole zoo?”

    “Yeah, let’s go again!” I said cheerfully, we played rock-paperscissors, three of us, starting by eliminating one with the least good hand to leave two, the one who lost out just walked. The loser had to carry the winner.

    This time, Ter had to carry me!

    “Hehe,” I, the winner, grinned broadly with joy.

    “You win again, did you cheat?”

    “What? Come on, Ter, give me a ride!”

    “Phoon, you seem off, I’m starting not to trust you,” Ter said, looking at me with surprise, “Normally, the good guy would be North.

    Now he’s been drained of all his energy.”

    “Be quiet, sit down,” and Ter had to crouch down so I could ride on his back, “Is it heavy?”    “Heavy.”

    “Really? Then run!”

    “Shit, instead of feeling sorry for me because I’m heavy, you tell me to run.”

    “Ter run, Ter run.”

    “Sigh, I’m not running,” Ter said, and he didn’t run after all, just slowly walked with me on his back, “Feels like I’m looking after a seven or eight-year-old kid.”

    “A demonic kid at that.”

    “North, you’re bold,” I said, frowning a little, “Ter! Go catch him,

    I’ll deal with him.”

    “Sigh, can I catch him while carrying you?”

    “Oh, come on,” I mumbled a bit, “Let me down, I want to take photos.”

    “Yeah, yeah,” and Ter let me down. I took photos until I was satisfied and then we continued walking, “I want to ride on someone’s back too.”

    “You want to as well?” North asked.

    “Look, there’s another hill,” Ter said before we played rock-paperscissors again. This time, Ter got to ride on my back. I crouched down so Ter could climb on, gripping his arms tightly to make sure he wouldn’t fall, before starting to run until Ter started pounding on my back, “Damn, don’t run, Phoon, I’m going to fall!”

    “You won’t fall.”

    “Aaah, Phoon, I’m falling!”

    And our silly back-riding game continued a few more times until we were all tired from taking turns carrying each other. I still didn’t understand why we were doing this, but due to exhaustion, we had to take the park’s tram and get off at intervals.

       “Damn, why do I have to be this tired just from coming to Suan

    Sathorn?” North grumbled a bit.

    “Come on, it’s a day off after all,” I said.

    “Isn’t a day off supposed to be for resting?”

    “Look, now we’re resting.”

    “I’m already tired after resting, how can resting make you more tired?”

    “Let’s get off here,” I said when the shuttle stopped near the Snow

    Dome, “I want to go into the Snow Dome!”

    “Yeah, yeah, let’s go,” and Ter and North had to follow me into the Snow Dome. We paid the entrance fee, and the staff handed us winter coats and boots. As soon as we walked in, the cold hit us. Of course, there was no one else inside except us, and the ice was all frozen to the floor. There was no loose snow to throw around.

    “Seems like not many people come here,” Ter said, “I thought we could throw some snow around.”

    “Yeah, it’s just cold,” North added. I frowned in disappointment because the inside wasn’t that spacious either, “There’s only that,” North pointed to a high slope where we could slide down with inflatable rings.

    “Let’s play, play, play,” I said excitedly.

    “Alright, alright, today is your day, Typhoon.”

    “Yay!”

    “Really like babysitting, I’ll charge Phii Fah for this.”

    “Babysitting what? Just inviting you to slide!”

    “Watch out for slipping, Phoon!” North shouted. I grabbed the rail just in time before I slipped because almost everything was ice, “Damn, what if you slip and crack your head, you idiot. Watch where you’re going, will you?”

    “No need to get so angry.”

    “Ter, make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”

    “Go, Typhoon, or your dad will scold you again.”

    “Is North my dad?”

    “Yeah, your dad.”

    “Why scold me?”

    “No reason, just saying, call me dad.”

    “Dad, give me some snacks,” I teased, shaking North’s shirt playfully, and he sighed immediately.

    “Dad doesn’t have any snacks left, son.”

    When we decided to go on the slide, the staff came to help because going down alone could be dangerous. They made us sit on an inner tube and pushed us off. North went first since I was still hesitant.

    Once I saw that North slid down safely, I followed and sat on the tube.

    After sliding down, it felt strange but fun until Ter bumped into me.

    “Why did you bump into me?”

    “I can’t steer or brake at all.”

    “Did it hurt?” North asked. I slowly got up from the tube.

    “It didn’t hurt, it’s rubber; what’s there to hurt? Let’s go again!”    After going into the snow dome and coming out, we felt a bit damp and sticky. Since there was no car, we had to walk. We kept walking until we saw the bird zone and immediately went inside.

    Inside, it looked like a simulated forest, and you could hear birds but couldn’t see them.

    “Where are the birds?” North asked while looking around.

    “Just on the trees.”

    “But I don’t see any, just geese.”

    “Seeing those makes me want to eat foie gras,” Ter said, causing me and North to turn and look at him at once, “What?”

    “Damn, what’s your heart made of, looking at a goose and saying you want to eat goose liver?” North frowned, “You guys, this fat one will eat your livers if you don’t run.”

    “North, shut up!” Ter said, hitting North’s back, and then I heard the sound of birds again. I didn’t know what kind they were, but they were flying above, so I quickly raised my camera to take pictures.

    “You guys, I think Jon is harder to find,” North said. I turned to look, and he was waving for me. I hurried over.

    “Where?” I asked excitedly, leaning in to look and saw…“A chicken?”

    “Yeah, it’s the bird zone, isn’t it?” Ter said, looking a bit disappointed.

    “Well, I paid to come to Suan Sathorn just to see a chicken, how hard is that to find?” North said sarcastically. The oblivious rooster continued pecking at papaya. We walked around, looking at the birds until we were satisfied, then walked back out, “What’s next?”    “That’s right,” I pulled out the map I had grabbed at the entrance.    “You should give it to me, Phoon, you shouldn’t even look at the map,” Ter said.

    “Oh.”

    “Just look at your camera, Phoon,” North said, “We have to keep an eye on you all the time while walking around; if you get lost, me and

    Ter will be in big trouble. If possible, I’d put you on a leash.”

    “Oh, that’s cruel, dad’s so cruel.”

    “What, I’ll whip you if you keep this up.”

    “You always resort to force with your son,” I playfully pouted.

    “Oh, North, you’re such a terrible dad, your son is about to cry.”

    “Oh, oh, don’t cry.”

    “Huhuhu.”

    “Then you can have a piggyback ride.”

    “Yay!” And North bent down for me to climb onto his back. I don’t know why I was in such a good mood, feeling very happy and warm too. The important thing was that I felt cared for, probably because these guys took me out and watched over me, “Run then!”    “Yeah, yeah.” And North started running, not going too far, then circled back to Ter and let me down, “Happy now, son?”    “Happy! But if there’s a dad, why isn’t there a mom?” I made a serious face, “If there’s a dad, there must be a mom.”    “Phoon, if you say it like that, you want me to be the mom?”

    “Please, just for one day.”

    “Uh…I don’t want to be the mom, can I just be the dad? North, you be the mom this time.”

    “Dream then, I’m already the dad, but I don’t want a wife like you.” “I want a boyfriend like you, then!”

    “Then we’ll have two dads,” I suggested.

    “Yeah, yeah, that works.”

    “Hehe, I’m hungry now.”

    “We should treat them, right?” North said.

    “You don’t have to treat, but let’s go eat.”

    “Okay, then let’s go wait for the tram,” Ter suggested. After looking at the map for a while, he led us to wait for the tram to get off at the restaurant area. I ended up treating both of them to a meal since they went through the trouble of bringing me out, especially since it’s after that, we headed to the aquarium.

    “The moon fish, no matter how many times you look at it, it’s strange,” North commented while staring at the moon fish through the clear water, “Doesn’t look like it should even exist on this planet.”    “They call it the moon of the sea, have you ever studied biology?”

    “What’s biology?”

    “Phoon, look at your ‘dad’ North. He doesn’t even know what biology is.”

    “Being called that, I don’t know how to respond,” North grumbled slightly. I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “And what am I supposed to call it then, Phoon, son, like this?”

    “Yes, dad!”

    “Shit, why do I suddenly have a son?”

    “Have you made someone pregnant without taking responsibility?” Ter said.

    “Is this your son too?”

    “Yeah, your son, behave well.”

    “It’s like you can’t decide whether to call him ‘son’ or ‘you’,” I said, laughing again and lifting my camera to capture the moment.

    “Why don’t you try calling Phii Fah ‘dad’?” Ter suggested. I immediately turned to look at him, thinking he was crazy! Remembering the conversation from last night about what pronouns to use.

    “Are you, are you crazy?!”

    “See, you’re blushing, getting all flustered, I hit the nail on the head, didn’t I?”

    “Ter! You bastard.”

    “You were just calling him ‘dad’ a moment ago.”

    “Not anymore!”

    And so we walked all around the aquarium until we were tired and didn’t want to walk anymore, so we waited for the shuttle to take us back to the entrance. It didn’t take long for the shuttle to arrive.    While I was staring absentmindedly out of the window as the zoo shuttle drove by, my mind was wandering. I glanced at Ter and North, who were also looking at the scenery, and I smiled without realizing it. I felt like something was swelling up inside my heart, and as the rain started to drizzle down, it made the surrounding atmosphere even cooler.

    “Thank you,” I said.

    “For what?” Ter asked.

    “For going along with me to come here, I’ve wanted to come for a long time, it’s so close but I’ve never been,” I smiled, not looking at the two beside me because I was embarrassed, “Thank you for playing along with my silliness.”    “…What’s with you, suddenly?”

    “I don’t know, thank you for approaching me that day, Ter, if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known where to find friends like you, thank you for always being there. I used to not like myself at all. I didn’t like who I was, didn’t like what I was doing, didn’t like it to the point where I wanted to disappear, but you guys came into my life and said you liked me just the way I am.”

    “When I cried, you were there holding my hand, when I was lost, you came looking for me, when things were bad, you made it better. Maybe I have bad luck because I used all my luck to meet good friends like you.”

    “Phoon, Ter is crying,” North said, but I didn’t turn to look because I was also starting to tear up a bit.

    “Hick. I’m not crying!” Ter sniffled.

    “Ter, you’re such a crybaby.”

    “Without you guys, there wouldn’t be me, really, damn, what’s wrong with me, getting all sentimental in a zoo,” I said, wiping my tears gently, “Forget it. I won’t talk anymore, or I won’t be able to stop crying.”

    “Yeah. Don’t talk then, hic! you idiot!” Then Ter slapped my back hard, making me choke a bit, “You know I’m sensitive, why make me cry?”

    “I didn’t mean to make you cry, I just felt like saying it, can’t I be sentimental?”

    “You don’t need to say it, I already know! I feel thankful for you guys too, you know!”    “No, I’m more thankful.”

    “No, I am.”

    “Phoon, don’t argue with me.”

    “Why are you arguing with me, Ter?”

    “…You guys,” North seemed to try to mediate, looking somewhat helpless, “Why argue? What’s the matter with you two?”

    “You have a heart colder than ice, North.”

    “Now I’ve become the cold-hearted one,” North sighed slightly, “I’m just not affected by it, it’s just something we’re supposed to do for each other, isn’t it? No need for all this sentimentality, we’ll be together for a long time. Besides, if I cry, who’s going to comfort you guys?”

    “Wow, that’s a very cool thing to say, but your attitude sucks a bit.” “Damn, Ter, what’s with you?”

    “Just kidding,” Ter said with a dry smile, “Thanks, though.”

    “Thanks for what?”

    “For always being there, and for protecting us. Whether it was when

    I got picked on or when Phoon was hurt, you were our hero.”    The time when Ter was picked on was probably back in our freshman year, when Ter had just started dating Phii Hill, and some senior girls started trouble. North was there, and instead of Ter getting angry, it was North who got furious. Ter had to hold North back from going to punch them. After that, he told Phii Hill, and once Phii Hill sorted it out, no one dared to bother Ter anymore.

    Ter said that when he was picked on, North got more upset than when he was picked on himself.

    “Yeah.”

    “Hey, North is blushing.”

    “Damn, I’m not!”

    “Actually, you’re embarrassed, aren’t you? You always act tough with friends,” Ter teased. North frowned, his face starting to turn a slight shade of red.

    “Yeah, I don’t like this sentimental stuff. Don’t do that.”

    “See, pretending to be cool but you’re embarrassed, aren’t you? You really are our hero. No matter what happens, you’re always the positive energy for everyone. Let’s stay together for a long time, come on, say ‘I love you’ to make us feel good.”

    I smiled broadly at the cute scene I was seeing now because, on the outside, North might seem rough, but inside, he’s very gentle.

    “I won’t say it!”

    With friends, when they get really embarrassed, this is what always happens.

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 40: A little child

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 40: A little child

       Tonfah

       I fell asleep hugging the drunk person until I drifted off too. The faint sweet scent mixed with a slight smell of alcohol made things feel a bit strange, but it was still Phoon’s scent. I woke up in the middle of the night to find the person I was hugging was gone.

    “Phoon,” I called out softly, got out of bed, and went looking for him, thinking he might have gone to the bathroom. When I saw the small figure sitting in front of the fridge, I hurried over, “Are you okay?”

    “Ouch, it hurts.”

    “…” I didn’t respond, reaching out to pick up the person in front of me, placing him on a chair first, “Did you fall?”

    “Hit my head.”

    “What? Let me see,” I asked worriedly because we always leave a small light on in case Phoon wakes up in the middle of the night. With the dim light shining, I saw the red mark on his forehead, “Oh, that looks bad. Did you hit the fridge?”

    “Uh, I will get back at it.”

    “?”

    “How dare it hurt the one who cleans it.” I couldn’t help but smile, feeling endeared by the person still not sober, before going to fetch first aid supplies, thinking a little massage might not hurt much. He must have hit the top of the fridge door, “Come on! You’re crazy!”    Wait…

       Arguing with the fridge now…

       “Unhappy, huh? Ha, just putting some chicken in. If you don’t like it, don’t be born as a fridge!”

    “…Phoon.”

    “You siding with it?”

    “No, I am not taking sides. Come on, good boy, let me treat your wound quickly.”

    “No, no, no, no.”

       He was a slow-acting drunk, wasn’t he? At first, I thought he’d be out for the count, but no. I had to carry him back to sit on the chair again and gently apply ointment and massage his forehead wound.

       “Phii Fah you is good at treating wounds, impressive, as expected from a medical student.”

    “…Yes.”

    “As expected of someone who studied to become a doctor!”

    “…” I inadvertently furrowed my brows, unsure how to respond.

    “You’ve studied hard, haven’t you?”

    “…Yes.”

    “…”

    “I will take you to bed now.”

    “Doctor.”    “?”

    “Doctor Fah.”

    “Yes?”

    “Uh, don’t let me know.”

    “Know what?”

    “Don’t let me know that while studying, you were looking at others.”

    “No, I didn’t, but why bring this up now?” I asked while carrying him back to bed, “Did you go to the fridge because you were thirsty?

    Did you get water?”

    “Don’t change the subject, there’s something fishy here.”

    “…”

    “Phii Fah you were looking at someone else, right!”

    “No, I wasn’t.”

    “I know, everyone likes you, the whole world does.”

    “The whole world?” I asked back, smiling at the person who was sulking on the bed, his face flushed red up to his ears, eyes slightly narrowed, speaking sweetly and slowly.

    He’s really cute when he’s drunk.

       “The whole world, even when Phii Fah goes to the convenience

    store, the dogs follow you, I saw.”

    “…” I never noticed, “Maybe they followed because I was buying food?”

    “No, really, don’t argue, you are the type that everyone likes.”

    “Oh, I see.”

    “Phoon, there are always people looking at me, even taking secret photos! I don’t like it. Don’t like it at all, I’m going to poke their eyes out.”

    “You don’t like it?” I asked, frowning. Saying he doesn’t like it when people look at me, does that mean he’s jealous? I never knew Phoon could be jealous or possessive, because he never shows it, but there’s never been a situation where he would be, I guess.

       “Don’t like it. They take ugly photos of you Phii Fah.”

    “Huh? Because they take ugly photos?”

    “They take ugly photos. They don’t need to take photos. I won’t let them.”

    “So, the conclusion is they shouldn’t take photos because they take ugly ones?”

    “No photos because they shouldn’t take photos. I will take photos of you Phii Fah alone.”

    “Oh…”

    “I remember! That person named Mona, she used to call and chat with you all the time, asking for tutoring. What was so hard to tutor about? It wasn’t even the start of the semester, what was she trying to learn? If she’s so eager for knowledge, why doesn’t she read by herself! And Phii Fah you were always on calls with her!”    “But that was a long time ago, even before you went away.”    “I don’t know, then there’s this person and that person, everywhere.”

    “I am not involved with him at all.”

    “I don’t know, why do you have to be so handsome too?”

    “…”

    “I knew you first, knew him when he was this small,” Phoon said with a frown, acting as if comparing our heights from when we were kids, “Knew you since we were little squirts.”

    “…”

    “When we went to kindergarten together wearing overalls, I knew you before anyone else. And now they dare to say they like you Phii

    Fah? I have loved you since we learned to write ‘gaw gai’ together.”

    “…” I didn’t say anything, just watched him whining in front of me, feeling so fond I wanted to hug him right then.

    “And why did you grow up to be like this? Why so handsome, why so smart, why so kind, why do so many people like you? When we were kids, you didn’t have this many admirers.”

    “…Uh, so what should I say to that?”

    “You don’t have to answer, it’s just…I am just complaining.”

    “…”

    “Do you like kids?”

    Changing the subject like this now…

       “Yes…I do, why?”

    “I like them too! I Want a lot of kids, filling the house, running around all over the place, but you are a doctor, you might not have much time to play with them, and they’ll love me more.”

    “…” I started to furrow my brows when the drunk person in front of me mentioned children.

    Oh, so you want a lot of kids, huh?

       Then it’s going to be quite tiring.

       “…”

    “I will be the most understanding dad, won’t let the kids get bullied, will take them to good schools, introduce them to good friends, and give them lots of warmth.”

    “…”

    “Why don’t you answer me?”

    “Well…Phoon you didn’t ask anything, did he?”

    “What should you name the child?”

    “Uh…yes, what should we name them? Whatever you want, I guess.”

    “But Phii Fah you have to work hard, right? Will you have time for the child and Phoon?”

    “Of course, I will try to make time to be with you and the child.”

    “Phii Fah you have to be a cute dad for the child.”

    “Yes.”

    “And are you hungry?”

    “Huh? Well, it’s already two in the morning.”

    “I will make something to eat.”

    “Wait, we better just go to sleep,” I held him back when I saw he was about to get up for real. What’s with Phoon when he’s drunk? Talking about this and that, completely unrelated, saying whatever comes to mind, “It’s late, let’s rest.”

    “Not sleeping. No. Not sleepy.”

    “But you are drunk.”

    “Not drunk, why does papa have to argue?”

    “…papa?”

    “You are arguing with me!”    “Phoon, don’t be stubborn.”

    “You are scolding me, will you scold the child too like this?”

    “…If they’re stubborn, I’ll have to scold them.”

    “No, if you scold the child, I will take the child and run away.”    He would run away with the child?

       “He won’t let the child see your face anymore.”

    “Mama, don’t be cruel to me.”

    “…”

    Asleep?

       Completely silent.

       I let out a small, unintentional sigh; he’s quite a handful when drunk. So, I adjusted his sleeping position to make him more comfortable, lay down beside him, gathered him into my arms, and covered us with a blanket, slowly closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep again.

      

    “Does your head hurt?” I asked the person sitting across from me eating breakfast, whose face didn’t look too good after waking up, probably because of how much he drank last night, and even waking up in the middle of the night to whine.

    “Uh, yes, a little.”

    “Take some medicine later.”

    “Yes, what time are you going to class?”

    “Ten. Are you going to see Ter?”

    “Yes.”

    Phoon nodded slightly. Today, I had classes as usual, even though it was a holiday. While getting ready to leave for class, something came to mind.

    “Phoon, do you remember what happened last night?”

    “!!!”

    His face turned pale and then red, which means he remembers, doesn’t it?

    “What’s the answer?”

    “Uh…what do you mean, what happened last night?”

    “Oh, nothing. It’s just that last night you asked about kids.”

    “Kids!!”

    “Asked about their names.”

    “Ah, oh, really? Haha, I was just drunk, so I was just talking nonsense.”

    “How far have you thought about having children, Phoon?” I asked, ignoring the fact that he claimed he was just drunk earlier.

    “…Well, I just thought about wanting to adopt a child. That’s it.”    “Hmm, and have you thought about what you want the child to call us, like ‘papa’ and mama?”

    “…”

    “If I scold you, are you going to run away with the child too? That’s cruel.”

    “Then how will papa live?”

    !!!

    Typhoon

       When I first woke up, I didn’t remember much. I just felt a slight headache and a sore spot on my forehead. I touched it and found it was swollen, so I tried to remember what happened last night because I tend to be quite clumsy when drunk, bumping into things, talking nonsense. I remembered waking up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty, then I hit my head on the fridge door and collapsed to the floor.

       Then…I argued with the fridge.

       So embarrassing!

       And in front of Phii Fah too, plus I went and picked a fight with him! Not only that, I even called him ‘papa’ and said I’d run away with our child!

       Phoon, oh my god! If I could go back in time, I’d knock myself out so I wouldn’t wake up. Why did I even wake up? I was already embarrassed enough with my tantrums at night!

       “Did Phoon really say that?”

    “Should have recorded the sound, like how Phoon said you wanted to record me voice.”

    !!!

    “I don’t remember anything, Phii Fah, you should go to class. Don’t be late.”

    “There’s still thirty minutes left.”

    “No, no, you need to leave early.”

    “Oh, were you saying that I should focus on studying?”

    “Phii Fah!!”

    “Yes, what do you say?”

    “I will get sulky and run away with the kids!”    Damn…I said it!

    I accidentally said it out of embarrassment and awkwardness. It seemed to please Phii Fah a lot; he laughed heartily, which made me furrow my brows in annoyance.

    “Oh, oh. I won’t tease anymore. don’t run away with the kids; that would be too cruel,” Phii Fah said in his usual gentle tone, not the teasing one from before. Then he got up from his chair, walked over to where I was washing the dishes, hugged me from behind, and leaned in to give my cheek a gentle kiss.

    “Hah! Why do you always tease like that?” I complained in a muffled voice while scrubbing the dishes harder, feeling my face heat up completely.

    “Don’t be sulky.”

    “Fine, I won’t sulk if you stop teasing.”

    “I won’t promise that,” Phii Fah said before letting go of the hug,

    “Oh, and about the kids.”

    “…”

    “I will be a good father to our kids. Don’t worry.”

    Phii Fah’s words made me turn around quickly. How can he say something like that so effortlessly, without any sign of embarrassment!

    Phii Fah leaned in, giving me a soft kiss on the lips before pulling away slowly. I was a bit stunned, caught off guard, as a sweet smile spread across his handsome face.

    “Let’s go, I’ll take you to see Ter.”

    “…Yes.”

    I reached out to hold the hand that was waiting for mine, and we left the room together. While waiting for the elevator, my mind kept circling back to last night, as if it wanted to make me feel even more embarrassed.

    “Is something wrong?”

    “No. Nothing’s wrong!!” I accidentally shouted, our voices echoing in the elevator where we were alone, making the person holding my hand look puzzled, “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

    “Is it about last night?”

    “!!!” In shock, I inadvertently glared at him.

    “You’re making those big eyes at me again.”

    “Uh, sorry.”

    “No need to apologize, can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

    “I won’t drink alcohol again!”

    “Why not? You’re cute when you’re drunk.”

    “Cute? More like embarrassing, huh, Phii Fah, don’t tease me again, or I’ll run and bang my head against the pillar,” I said, frowning seriously. By pillar, I meant the one in the lobby of our condo.

    “No need to threaten to bang your head on a pillar, you haven’t recovered from hitting the fridge last night.”

    “…”

    “Should we change the fridge? It’s picking fights with you.”

    “Phii Fah!!”

    “Yes, why call me so often?”

    “Huh!”

    “Okay, okay. I won’t tease anymore,” Phii Fah said, smiling affectionately. I kept a grumpy face because I was both embarrassed and annoyed by the teasing so early in the morning. We walked out to the parking lot, Phii Fah opened the car door for me to get in before he circled around to the driver’s seat, and then the luxury car moved out.    “What’s up with you, Phoon? You come in all red-faced, did Phii

    Fah tease you again?” Ter asked immediately as I sat down on the coffee shop sofa. Today was another day off when the doctors had to go to class, so naturally, we had nothing to do and didn’t want to be alone in our rooms, so we decided to hang out at Phii Gibb’s coffee shop.

    “What! Tease what!”

    “You’re getting all worked up,” North teased. Today, it was just North, Ter, and me, three of us, since we didn’t have plans to go out anywhere. We were just waiting for the doctors, that’s all.

    “…You guys.”

    “You said there was nothing, but you’re talking so softly.”    “What happened last night, did you do anything strange while drunk?” As soon as I asked, both of them widened their eyes and looked at me, “You all seem nervous, like you’re hiding something.”

    “No…nothing! There’s nothing, why are you asking!” Ter responded awkwardly.

    “Damn, you’re not even keeping it together.”

    “What’s with you, North?”

    “Hey, why the hostility, not over your hangover yet?”

    “I am over it!”

    “Why are you over it?” North teased, making Ter’s face turn red as he threw a nearby stuffed toy at North, “Ouch! When embarrassed, he gets violent.”

    “And why are you asking, Phoon?”

    “Well, last night seemed normal, but after I took a shower, suddenly, all these memories came back,” I started to explain, “I remember everything, damn it, from when I started getting drunk to waking up and causing a ruckus in the middle of the night.” I recounted while rubbing my face, still embarrassed thinking about it, what did you say, Phoon, T^T.

       I don’t like it, I only want to take photos of you Phii Fah…

       Why did you have to grow up to be so handsome…

       Why do so many people like you…

       I have loved you for so long…

       I’m so grateful that I can still blame it on being drunk, because all those things are what I think but would never tell Phii Fah, TT.

       “What did you do?” Ter asked.

    “I’m not telling!” I snapped back.

    “Come on, tell us, so we can share your embarrassment.”

    “No teasing, right?”

    “Yeah, no teasing.”

    “I don’t believe you, then you have to tell your story too.”    “Alright then. There’s nothing to it,” Ter said.

    “Oh really, he loves Phii Hill the most in the world— ouch! Ter, you’re hurting me again!”

    “Don’t slander me!”

    “Slander what? The whole table was your witness, it went silent at that moment,” North said, which made me feel a bit embarrassed; I still remembered the scene when Ter, drunk, said that.

    “Hey!”

    “What do you think, Phoon, roughly?” North asked.

    “Well, seriously thinking, it’s about kids. Have you guys ever talked about having kids?”

    “We have, yeah/yeah,” Ter and North answered simultaneously.

    “What did you say?”

    “I asked,” North said, “but Phii Jo said he doesn’t like kids, so I thought it probably wouldn’t happen.”

    “Oh, but I talked to Phii Hill about it; I’d rather adopt,” Ter said.    “Yeah, same here, I want to adopt,” I said, before picking up the glass of water in front of me, “Doesn’t it seem like we’re thinking too far ahead? I don’t know, really, I’m just a freshman, and Phii Fah is a senior about to be in his fourth year.”

    “In another couple of years, you’ll be done. It doesn’t hurt to just talk about it,” North said, “So, what did Phii Fah say when you talked about this?”

    “Well…he…”

    “He?”

    “He said he would be a good father.”

    “Shit…Phii Fah~, that’s very Phii Fah of him, warm like a microwave,” North started teasing a bit, “That’s good then.”    “And last night, when I was drunk, I said I’d run away with the kid from Phii Fah,” my words made Ter and North burst out laughing.

    “Why would you run away?”

    “Because Phii Fah was scolding me for not wanting to sleep when I was drunk, so I said if he scolds me, I’d run away with the kid.”    “Poor Phii Fah, how should he feel about being run away from with his own child?” North said with a laugh.

    “Damn, thinking about it makes me so embarrassed,” I said while rubbing my face, “How could I say that, and I even told Phii Fah to focus on his studies.”

    “Shit,” Ter and North laughed even harder, “You told Phii Fah to study hard?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Is there anyone in this world who studies harder than Phii Fah?”

    “Shouldn’t have gotten drunk, damn it.”

    “Phoon, that’s what happens when you’re drunk,” Ter patted my shoulder lightly in a comforting manner, though he was still laughing,

    “If you think you’re embarrassing when drunk, just look at North.”    “Yeah, I vomited all over Phii Jo the first time I got drunk, that’s pretty embarrassing.”

    “Stop, don’t bring that up again,” North raised his hand to stop the conversation, “Don’t shift the focus from Phoon to me. And Phii Fah, being a doctor, won’t have much time, right?”

    “No, no, Phii Fah said he’ll be a doctor at first to gain experience, then he’ll take over from his father.”    “Phii Fah’s father, who is the dean?”

    “Uh, he also owns a private hospital.”

    “Really?” North looked surprised as if he didn’t know, then he seemed to remember something, “Why didn’t I know that? Oh, oh, oh, I remember, the private hospital with many branches, right?”    “Yeah, so it’s quite pressuring for him. I’m worried, but I don’t know how to help, I can only try my best to take care of him,” I said, unconsciously shrugging my shoulders. It’s not just Phii Fah who feels the pressure; there are people around him like his uncle, aunt, or anyone involved in the hospital business.

    “That’s how it is, the pressure is always there,” North said with a frown.

    “Phii Jo is the same, right?”

    “Uh, it’s inevitable, like a test you have to pass. It’s not easy to manage a renowned private hospital like that.”    “Uh, I understand,” I nodded slightly.

    “You’re doing your best to support him, that’s good,” Ter said, “But the owner of a hospital with so many branches, damn, they must be rich, studying medicine to become a hospital owner, that’s quite fitting, isn’t it?”

    “Isn’t it true that they’re together because of their looks and status? I’m starting to wonder,” North said, “Phii Hill is going to take over his father’s company, right? And Phii Hill’s father and Phii Jo’s are friends too.”

    “Uh-huh,” Ter nodded, “But you’re only starting to suspect now? Shouldn’t you have realized this a long time ago?”

    “I had my suspicions from the beginning. I mean, people who are similar are attracted to each other, like me and you guys, rain makes the earthworms come out.”

    “I feel weird about that analogy somehow,” Ter said, frowning.

    “But you guys are good.”

    “Us?” I repeated the word.

    “Yeah, being with you guys is like being in a field of fragrant flowers. Not that it’s a perfect world, but you guys are genuinely good people. Not like my engineering friends, damn, they’re like hell on earth.”

    “Is it that bad?” Ter asked, sounding somewhat skeptical, “They seemed normal when we talked. They even looked kind.”

    “Have they ever spoken rudely to you?”

    “No.”

    “Yeah. They say they can’t bring themselves to speak rudely to Ter, but look at how they talk to me,” North said, looking somewhat displeased.

    “Alright, you guys,” I spoke up, remembering I had brought my camera in my bag. I didn’t intend to take photos, but it was more out of habit; I like carrying my camera around, though not to class, “The light is good today. It’s not too hot either.”

    “Oh, huh,” North said, “And why?”

    “I want this kind of light.”

    “…This isn’t good,” Ter whispered to North, frowning with concern,

    “I have a bad feeling about this.”

    “Why?”

    “You guys go for a walk,” I suggested.

    “Shit, there it is,” Ter sighed, “When you say the light is beautiful and we have free time like this, it’s bound to lead to going out for a walk and taking photos.”

    “There’s not much sun, can you handle it?” I asked because Ter is sensitive to sunlight; if his skin is exposed to the sun for too long, he gets rashes or something, but today there isn’t much sun, it’s quite cloudy, perfect for a walk!

    “Uh, yeah, I can manage, but I’ve brought a long-sleeve shirt. It’ll be fine.”

    “Great! Let’s go to the zoo then?”

    “Why go to the zoo?” North raised an eyebrow.

    “I want to take photos, come on, come on.”

    “Ugh, can’t we just stay here, I’m too lazy for this,” North said.    “Come on, please, North, can’t we? I really want to go, want to go with you guys, please, take me out, if I go alone, I’ll definitely get lost and be eaten by a lion, don’t you care if something happens to me?”

    “Do you have to make such a big deal out of it?”

    “I won the drinking contest against you yesterday, the loser has to do what the winner says.”

    “Did we agree to that?”

    “Yeah, otherwise, why would we compete?”

    “Alright, alright, I give in, let’s go.” In the end, North agreed to go. As for Ter, he was going anyway. So, the three of us decided to go to the zoo together, “I need to tell Phii Jo first.”    “Me too,” Ter said.

    “Why are you telling Phii Jo like I am, are you hitting on my guy?

    Isn’t that going too far, Ter, aren’t you satisfied with Phii Hill?”    “…I mean, I need to tell Phii Hill too, why are you making such a fuss?”

    “Oh, then let’s go,” North said. Before we left, I took out my phone to message Phii Fah that I was going to the zoo with Ter and North, thinking I’d leave a message since he was probably in class and couldn’t reply.

    Typhoon: Phii Fah

       Typhoon: I am going to the zoo with North and Ter.

       Typhoon: Going to take a lot of photos.

       Typhoon: I’ll be careful, don’t worry, hehe.

       Typhoon: I’ll bring back some photos for you.

       It wasn’t long before it showed he had read the message, and then Phii Fah called. I answered, confused, noticing that North and Ter also looked puzzled because they had incoming calls as well.    (Is it the Suan Sathorn Park?)

       “Oh, yes, can we go there?”

    (Yes, please be careful.)

       “I already said I would be careful.”

    (Can’t I just remind you?)

       “Yes, you can.”

    (Okay, don’t overdo the walking, better take the car so you’re not in the sun, and watch out for valuable items too. Stay with

    North and Ter so you don’t get lost, and if you do get lost or anything happens, call me immediately, got it?)

       “Yes!”

    (Good, what time will you be back?)

       “I don’t know yet, what time does Phii Fah finish class?”

    (Three in the afternoon.)

       “Then Phii Fah can pick up Phoon from Suan Sathorn after class, how does that sound?”    (Okay.)

       “Yes, study hard.”

    (You told me that last night, didn’t you?)

       “See, you’re still teasing.”

    (Hehe, just kidding. See you later.)

       “Yes, see you.”

    Then I hung up the phone, turning to see that North and Ter had also just hung up almost at the same time.

    “What did they say?” I asked.

    “Just told me to be careful,” Ter replied, then turned to ask North,

    “How about you?”

    “Phii Jo asked what made me think of going to Suan Sathorn, it’s so hot today. Then he told me to take care of myself, something like that.”

    “Okay, let’s go then!” I said happily before quickly getting up and walking out of the shop, turning around to see that North and Ter weren’t very enthusiastic, which made me complain, “Be a bit more lively, don’t just drag your feet.”

    “Yeah, yeah, let’s go!” Ter raised both hands to show he was being lively before taking out his phone.

    “What?”

    “Haha, Phoon, Phii Fah told me to hold your hand when we walk.”

    “Huh?”

    “He’s worried you might get lost, told me to keep an eye on you, even hold your hand.”

    “Yeah, Phii Fah told me the same thing,” North said, “Said to make sure Phoon doesn’t get lost.”

    “Make sure I don’t get lost? What does Phii Fah think I am? Not a little kid,” I frowned.

    “But you do need to be watched carefully, really, because if you suddenly get lost, it would be a disaster,” North said, “Don’t wander off far from us. I don’t want to have to look for you all over the zoo.”    “I know! I won’t get lost from you guys, I’m twenty-one, not seven or eight to get lost in a zoo.”

    “Yeah, yeah, let’s go, Typhoon, twenty-one,” Ter teased me a bit before we all walked to hail a cab to go to the zoo.

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 39: Ten and Million

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 39: Ten and Million

       Since today we planned to celebrate together in the evening, but the doctors had classes, we decided to hang out in the morning first. Right now, there’s me, North, and Ter, who were dropped off by the doctors, playing at a cafe in the mall waiting for Daotok to join us to watch a movie. Foam said he’d only come in the evening because he didn’t want to be out in the sun.

       “It’s taking forever,” North started complaining.

    “Dao drives so slowly,” Ter said, “I saw him once, driving 30mph.”

    “Shit, when will he get here?”

    “Drive safely, man.”

    “Like you’re riding a bike.”

    “And you’re really going to watch that movie?” I asked again for reassurance, as North had volunteered to choose the movie himself. Of course, someone as afraid of ghosts like North would choose a horror movie…I don’t quite understand why, but it seems he likes them because they scare him, given his vivid imagination compared to those who don’t watch them.

    “Yeah, I’m serious.”

    “You’ll scream your head off in the theater again,” Ter said, shaking his head lightly.

    “What. Who’s screaming? Me? That’s a laugh, Ter, you’re the one who screams.”

    “Oh, we’ll see.”

    “Aren’t you scared?” I asked.

    “I am scared.”

    “Then why watch? You’re scared of ghosts but still watch horror movies, that’s weird.”

    “Well, if you’re not scared, what’s the fun in watching? Horror movies are only fun if they scare you.”

    “…Yeah, that’s true,” I nodded in agreement, furrowing my brows at him, “Did you tell Dao about watching a horror movie?”

    “I told him, and Dao said he’s fine with it, he likes watching them,” Ter said.

    “See, you’ve found someone with the same taste.”

    “Dao gets along with you like a house on fire.”

    “Has Dao ever not gone along with us?” Ter said, “Even though he doesn’t like celebrations. Just a little coaxing and he agrees to come.”

    “Yeah, that’s true,” I nodded in agreement, because usually, he always refuses when we invite him out. This time, we tried coaxing him, and Dao agreed more easily than expected. If Dao had refused again, I wouldn’t have pushed further; he really doesn’t like celebrations or crowded places, especially if there are people he’s not close with.

    And if we invite him like this, will Dao feel uncomfortable? Oh no, I was just thinking about getting him out of his room to meet us, forgetting that he might feel uncomfortable.

    Not long after, Daotok arrived, sat down next to me in the shop.

    “Have you booked the movie yet?” asked the new arrival.

    “Ugh, another half hour.”

    “Oh, it’s a horror movie, right?”

    “Yeah,” I replied, “Ugh, Dao, tonight. It’s okay, right? There will be some doctors there, so you won’t feel uncomfortable, will you?”

    “…Well.”

    “If you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay, I’m sorry. We forgot to consider this. We won’t force you.”    “Does the cat want us to go?”

    “Of course, he must want us to.”

    “Hmm, then we’ll go. It’s fine, we’ve talked about it with all the fans before.”

    “Okay,” I smiled at the person sitting next to me, before Ter ordered more snacks to kill time and forced Dao to eat some too.

    “Dao, this is delicious, really, try it.”

    “Ter says everything is delicious.”

    “Hey, but this one is really good, try it.”

    “…” The person next to me. I didn’t respond, then picked up a banana samosa, chewed it slowly, and started to frown, which made Ter look worried right away.

    “Not tasty?”

    “Well…it’s alright.”

    “Have some more, a lot.”

    “Is this fattening me up or what?” North spoke up, grabbing some from the plate to eat, “Not wanting to be fat alone, huh, need company to be fat too?”

    “Shut up and break that samosa!”

    “See, pretending to be tough.”

    “Actually, with the new semester starting soon, I miss the beginning of the first year,” I mentioned, remembering, “It’s almost your anniversary with Phii Hill, isn’t it?”    “Hmm, yeah,” Ter nodded.

    “Time flies, huh. I remember the first time I knew Phii Hill was flirting with you were like…shit.”

    “Shit, because Phii Hill is friends with Phii Fah?”

    “Yeah,” I nodded and let out a small laugh, “Back then it was like, shit, the world is so damn small. When I went to find you at the star moon pageant, I got lost with Foam and then Phii Fah was the one who picked me up. At that moment, I almost had a heart attack, especially when I found out he was friends with Phii Hill who was hitting on Ter.”

    “I sensed something was off from that moment,” Ter said.

    “Really?”

    “Yeah, your face looked like you were about to cry.”

    “Oh, come on,” I frowned slightly, feeling annoyed, “I thought I was pretty smooth.”    “You, Phoon?”

    “Yeah.”

    Then we chatted for a while until the movie started. We had seats right in the middle, sitting in order: me, North, Ter, Dao. At first, when the movie started, it wasn’t so bad, but as it went on, the movie’s atmosphere got scarier and more tense. I started to curl up bit by bit, pulling my legs up to hug them.

       “Uhmm…”    North?

    What kind of noise is that?

    “Don’t…don’t do that, don’t ‘uhmm’.”

    “…”

    “!!!” As soon as the ghost in the movie appeared, North was so startled that he pulled me into a tight hug, before the popcorn in his hand spilled all over me.

    Sticky.

    “!!! Why did you pinch me?” North whispered softly because I had just pinched his arm.

    “It’s sticky, did you buy the popcorn just to pour it on me?” I whispered back.

    “Sorry, I was startled.”

    “…” I let the person who suggested watching the horror movie hug my arm, or rather, squeeze it, to the point where I think the blood flow was cut off, because I’m not really scared of ghosts. Just startled by some scenes. Turning to peek, I saw Dao also getting hugged by Ter.

    What in the world is this…

       When the movie ended, the person next to me, who finally let go of my arm, felt indescribably relieved as we walked out of the theater.

       “Man, it wasn’t scary at all, you reviewer.”

    “Really, North?” I teased back while showing him my arm full of red marks, “Did you bite my shirt too?”

    “Heh,” North gave a sheepish smile while lightly scratching his head.

    “Damn, my sleeve is full of your saliva.”

    “Heh.”

    “Still laughing your ‘heh’?”

    “North is such a scaredy-cat,” Dao chimed in.

    “Ter was hugging you too, wasn’t he? Why don’t you say anything about him?”

    “He wasn’t hugging, just hiding. Ter is just normal, but North is super scared.”

    “…Uh, so what? Everyone has something they’re afraid of!

    Everyone is scared of ghosts!”

    “I’m not scared.”

    “I’m not really either,” I replied.

    “Liar, how do you watch a horror movie without getting scared?”    “The director tries to make us scared,” Dao explained, “Just think that there’s a camera following the actors, and it’s not scary anymore.

    Ghosts have to have makeup, and everything else has to be edited, props and all.”

    “Ah, that’s it, how can it be fun then?” North mumbled unhappily,

    “Your heart is numb to the ghosts now.”

    After that, we went for lunch because the doctors had classes all day, making us stay here all day too. At noon, during the break, usually Phii Fah would call me, and today was no different. We talked for a while before hanging up, and I noticed Phii Hill and Phii Jo also called Ter and North.

       “Everyone looks so much livelier after talking with their partners.”

    “Don’t you have anyone you interested in?” Ter asked teasingly, and Dao shook his head slightly.

    “No.”

    “It would be nice if someone took care of you,” I added.

    “Oh. I already have someone to take care of.”    “Who!!” the three of us asked in unison.

    “Should I tell you?”

    “Just give us a hint!”

    “He’s very important.”

    “How important?”

    “The whole world.”

    “Wow, he’s as important as the whole world? Are you kidding?”

    North started to tease. I exchanged an embarrassed look with Ter, while Daotok just smiled casually, not showing any embarrassment despite what he just said, “Why are you so romantic?”

    “Romantic, huh?”

    “Yeah, he would be embarrassed if he heard that.”

    “But he doesn’t seem embarrassed.”

    “Oh, why so cold?”

    “Yeah, he’s pretty cold with me, but even so.”

    “Wow, I want to see his face.”

    “I have a picture.”

    “!!! Show it! Show it! Let’s see!” we said loudly enough to startle Dao, who then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

    Are you really going to show us? Why so easy? And why haven’t you mentioned him before, like Daotok? And he’s cold on top of that!

    What kind of person could be as important as the whole world to Daotok!!

       “Here.”

    “!!!”

    “What…what is this?!”    “Uh, handsome, huh?”

    “Shit! Why show me a picture of a cat?!” North exclaimed immediately because the picture Dao just showed us was of a black cat.

    “This is him, my important person.”

    “It’s not a person, it’s a cat! How can a cat be an important person?

    You should say it’s an important cat.”

    “It’s equally important!”

    “Hey, you spoke loudly for the first time!” North looked surprised. I was also quite surprised because Dao’s sentence earlier was a bit louder than usual, I emphasize, just a bit. Normally, Dao speaks softly and slowly.

    “Is Jon ca—, this person?” Ter asked.

    “Uh, this is Jon…my whole world.”    This guy is a cat slave…

       Oh, that’s why they said he acts cold.

       “So, don’t tell me that all this time at work you’ve been…”

    “Uh, I have to buy the best food for Jon.”

    “Holy shit, working until you end up in the hospital just to buy food for a cat,” North whispered to me. I couldn’t help but laugh at Dao; it was kind of cute.

    So, it’s like we can go hungry, but the cat must be full…

       “And why does it have to be Jon?”

    “Actually, his name is Jachornsak, shortened to Jon.”

    “What kind of cat has the name Jachornsak?” North whispered to me again, almost making me burst out laughing. Dao always likes to give fancy names to everything. Like the cat doll he gave me, it’s named Supaporn.

       Oh…buying cat dolls because he likes cats, huh?

       “Is the reason you like to call me ‘cat’ because you like cats?”    “Exactly. That’s why I love cats so much,” Daotok said happily, which explained why he called me “cat” instead of my name every time. That’s why.

    But why do you look so cheerful?

    I’ve never seen him smile this wide before…Because he was looking at Jon’s photo, huh? Wow, the power of cats is truly something.    “Oh, so when you said you were saving to move to a condo, it was for…” Ter asked, as if he just remembered.

    “Yeah. I’m going to take Jon to live with me, the dorm doesn’t allow pets.”

    “Oh,” we nodded in understanding. It explained why Daotok was so hardworking, why he had to work hard every day. It wasn’t just for the car payments, but for Jon’s upkeep too…

    “So, where are we heading next?” I asked, checking the time and realizing it wasn’t time for the celebration yet.

    “Why not karaoke?”

    “Sounds good,” North quickly agreed, since he loved to sing.

    “Fine by me,” I said.

    “Let’s do it,” Dao said, before we headed to karaoke. Neither I nor

    Dao sang; I didn’t sing because I’m not much of a singer and I’m shy. Dao just listened, while North practically monopolized the microphone, occasionally passing it to Ter.

    “Damn, Jon!” North, walking beside me, exclaimed, looking over at Ter and Dao talking about cats. When it comes to cats, Daotok becomes a different person. I was still taken aback seeing Dao so cheerful, “I’ve never met such a true cat servant.”

    “Same here, it seems like he’s dedicated his life to serving cats.”    “Yeah, working so hard, I thought he had debts, damn, it’s all for the cat.”

    “He seems to have clear goals, though.”

    “At first, I thought he was secretly dating someone, oh well, all that anticipation for nothing, talking like it’s a person, somehow I feel outdone by it.”

    “It’s kind of cute, calling the cat ‘Mister.’ and me ‘cat’, it’s all so confusing.”

    “Yeah,” North laughed, before we went outside because Phii Fah was coming to pick us up. We noticed the sky was overcast, “It’s going to rain, it was sunny this morning.”

    “Definitely Jon’s power,” I teased, and North laughed again.

    “Dao, what are you going to do, ride your motorcycle here?” Ter asked the person next to him.

    “I’ll go ahead first.”

    “Is that okay? What if it rains on the way?”

    “It’s fine, see you at the restaurant.” Then Dao quickly went to the motorcycle parking area. Not long after, Phii Fah’s car arrived and parked, then he lowered the window and told all three of us to get in.    “Hill and Jo are already at the restaurant; it would be too much trouble for everyone to come together.”

    “Oh,” North and Ter said in unison from the back seat, and the luxury car moved away from the mall area. I kept looking outside, hoping it wouldn’t rain. Let Dao reach the restaurant first, because riding a motorcycle in the rain is very dangerous.

    We got to the restaurant before it started to rain, finding Dao already sitting there, along with Phii Hill and Phii Jo at the same table, plus Foam.

    “Isn’t Phii Arthit coming?” I asked.

    “He said he had some business. He asked me to tell you he’s happy you passed the exam.”

    “Oh,” I nodded slightly before sitting at the table. Just then, it started raining outside, “Good that we came before it rained,” I said, turning to Dao, who nodded slightly in response.

    We went to fetch various dishes and brought them back to the table.

    Since I’ve known Ter, I’ve been eating at BBQ buffets a lot more often, celebrating every little thing with a BBQ. When we returned to the table, there was alcohol there too.

       “Did you order alcohol too?” I asked Phii Fah.

    “North ordered it.”

    “Heh, I wanted some. Haven’t had any for a while,” North said with a smile before pouring some into his glass and then asked Phii Jo, “Do you want some?”

    “Sure,” Phii Jo nodded slightly.

    “Phoon, Ter, Dao, Foam?”

    “I’ll have some,” Foam said, handing his glass to North. I hesitated a bit since it had been a while since I drank, then turned to ask Phii Fah for advice.

    “Go for it. It’s fine, I told you I’ll take care of it.”

    “…Oh, North, please give me some.”

    “Ter, want some?”

    “No.”

    “Ter, want some?”

    “No.”

    “Ter, want some?” North kept repeating the same question until Ter furrowed his brows at him.

    “Hey, you, I said no.”

    “Are you my friend?”

    “Damn,” Ter swore, feeling cornered by the question, before he had to reluctantly hand his glass over to North.

    “Dao, are you my friend?”

    “Who is North’s friend?”

    “Oh, so it’s Dao.”

    “Joking. I rode a motorcycle here, how could I drink?”

    “Oh yeah, I forgot. Then never mind,” North said before raising his glass. We raised our toast with him, “Cheers, Typhoon passed the exam, yeah!!”

    Our celebration then turned into ordering more and more alcohol, and this place had so much that we started to wonder if it was actually a bar. But after looking closely, we understood; the shop next door was a bar, probably they had some arrangement.

       North was quite the drink mixer, very skilled at it, which might prove true the saying that engineers are good at getting drunk. Looking at how well North mixed drinks, and importantly, no one stopped him.

       After a while, Ter was the first to show signs of being drunk; his face started turning red all the way to his ears, his eyes began to glaze over.

       “Mix more!”

    “Why are you shouting?”

    “North! Bring the alcohol!!”

    “Already drunk and still so fierce.”

    “Hurry up!!”

    “Yeah, yeah,” North had to quickly pour more alcohol for Ter. Normally, Ter is the kindest saint among us, but why does he get so aggressive when he’s drunk?

       “Am I too slow for you? Huh? Am I too slow?”

    “Oh, oh, calm down. You’re a fake saint, aren’t you? Your true nature comes out when you’re drunk,” because of the slow pouring, Ter ended up pulling North’s ear.

    “Shut up! Try me!”

    “You’re the big shot now, huh? Oh, Phii Hill, stop him, please! My ear is going to come off!”

    “Ter, come here,” Phii Hill pulled Ter close without being able to resist, and Ter was flailing around so much that he had to be held tightly.

    “Uh, I love you Phii Hill the most.”

    “…” And then the whole table went silent with Ter’s words before he fell asleep in Phii Hill’s embrace, his aggressive behavior having dissipated.

       Referring to himself as ‘I ’, why am I feeling embarrassed?

       “Next, Phoon.”

    “I think the one pouring is starting to get drunk too.”

    “I’m not drunk.”

    When Ter gets drunk, he’s the noisy type. I wonder what type North and Foam are.

       Time passed by, and Foam started to slump over the table, drunk. It seems we’ll have to call his roommate to pick him up. Dao took care of calling them. I noticed North was also looking a bit dazed.

       “Why are you so good at holding your liquor, Phoon? I thought I had a pretty strong tolerance.”    “I’m starting to feel dizzy too.”

    “Want to have a drinking contest?”

    “Let’s do it.”

    “…”

    Phii Jo and Phii Fah raised their eyebrows slightly, looking at each other, seemingly waiting to see what the two of us, who were starting to get drunk, would do next.

       Phii Hill excused himself to take Ter back home. By now, Foam had passed out, leaving just me and North.

       “Phii Jo, can you mix some for us?” North said, pushing everything in front of him towards Phii Jo.

    “Is that a good idea?”

    “Jo’s got a heavy hand,” Phii Fah remarked.

    “It’s fine,” I answered, “Just make two glasses the same, that’s enough. This is a battle of honor, isn’t it, North?”

    “Yes! Phii Fah, don’t stop us.”

    “You’re both drunk already.”

    “What should we do?” Phii Jo asked.

    “Just go along with what the younger ones want.”

    “Okay,” Phii Jo responded, before he started mixing drinks for us to compete. I wasn’t sure why we were doing this, but at this point, my mind wasn’t very clear anymore, whatever, everything goes.    I downed my glass in one go, and North did the same. When I was younger and more rebellious, I used to drink a lot, which made me somewhat resilient to alcohol.

    “You still want more?” North asked, his voice slurred.

    “Yeah, you?”

    “Chill, just saying.”

    “Why can you drink so much?”

    “Back then, I used to drink with the old man next door every day.”

    “You’ve been an alcoholic since you were a kid?”

    “Told you, since I was three.”

    “You’re full of crap.”

    “One more glass then,” we clinked our glasses together. I let the bitter-sweet taste flow down my throat one more time, before the image in front of me started to blur, but I could still see that North had passed out.

    “…”

    “Yay! I won!” Overjoyed at winning, I stood up and raised both my hands, but because I was drunk, I fell back down, only to be caught by Phii Fah.

    “Yes, you’ve won,” Phii Fah said. Unable to fight the heaviness of my eyelids, I closed my eyes, “Let’s go home, Jo.”    “Yeah,” Phii Jo responded.

    “Uh, Dao.”

    “…”

    “Dao,” I called out softly.

    “Phoon is calling you,” Phii Fah said.

    “Oh, what’s up, cat?”

    “Foam?”

    “His friend came to pick him up.”

    “Uh, Dao, get back safely, okay?”

    “Uh, okay, see you, congrats on winning.”

    “Obviously,” I gave a thumbs up without looking, before feeling myself being lifted, hearing the sound of a car door opening, Phii Fah placed me on the seat and fastened my seatbelt. I let myself drift off to sleep until I felt myself being laid down on a familiar, soft bed.

    “Uh…” I groaned in my throat when I felt uncomfortable.

    “I will wipe you down in a bit,” he said.

    “No, don’t leave,” I waved my hand around before my hand was grasped.

    “I’m just going to get a cloth, be right back.”

    “No. Don’t leave me.”

    “…”

    “No matter how good someone else might be, don’t leave me,” I mumbled in a slurred voice, trying to push myself up, but Phii Fah pulled me into a hug first.

    “What are you talking about?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “Are you overthinking because you’re drunk?”

    “I am not the best person, but I truly love you Phii Fah, loves you a lot, has loved you for a long time. No matter who comes along, I never cared, if it’s not you, it can’t be anyone else. Even if you don’t choose me, for me, it’s still only you Phii Fah.” “I know, I promised I wouldn’t go anywhere.” “Really?” I asked to confirm.

    “Yes, so why are you overthinking now?” Phii Fah asked in a deep voice, then gently stroked my head.

    “I saw…on a page.”

    “A page?”

    “Someone said that I am not right for you Phii Fah at all.”

    “…Oh.”

    “I don’t care how others see it, but I am afraid that one day someone more suitable for you than me might come along.” I spoke out what had been swirling in my head almost all day, trying not to think about it but unable to suppress the fear. I didn’t really want to voice it out because it might make me seem overly insecure, but with the alcohol coursing through my body, I ended up saying everything.

    “Others have no right to decide who I am suitable for. I, Fah, will choose for myself who I want by his side.”

    “…”

    “And if that person isn’t you, then it can’t be anyone else.”

    “…”

    “As my partner, don’t look or pay attention to anyone else. Just look at me and that’s enough.”

    “Uh, I only look at you. Didn’t you know?”

    “I knew already.”

    “I love you, more than anything in ten universes and a million galaxies!”

    “Thank you, love you too.”

    “…”

    “The most in ten universes, a million galaxies.”

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 38: Shining

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 38: Shining

       Tonfah

       After the short trip, celebrating Phoon’s birthday in Japan, which only lasted a few days, we returned to Thailand because we didn’t have much time. We had to continue studying. I think it must have been another good period for Phoon, not only did he get to see his mom but also travel with friends.

    That day, after spending the whole day sightseeing and taking photos, riding the Ferris wheel, and ending with a celebratory meal at a restaurant, we returned to Thailand the next day. Phoon had been busy editing photos and the birthday video for several days, and he wouldn’t let me see it beforehand, saying he’d show it all once it was complete.

    Looking at my watch, it’s now past ten at night, and today was another day with classes until late. I told Phoon to eat something first; believe me, it’s not a good feeling, not having time to even be together like this, especially when there are classes early tomorrow morning too.

    I opened the door to the room slowly, set my bag down, and scanned the room for the person I missed all day. I saw Phoon slumped over the desk, asleep. I tiptoed over carefully so as not to wake him, opening the screen where he was editing the video. I couldn’t help but smile as I secretly saved everything he hadn’t closed before shutting down the computer. Then, I gently lifted him from the desk and laid him on the bed.

    He must have been sitting in front of the computer all day until he was exhausted. I closed the bedroom curtains and turned on the bedside lamp before heading to the bathroom to shower and change. When I came out to check the kitchen counter, there were a couple of dishes wrapped in plastic, probably left by Phoon for me.

    Because he’s just so sweet like this…

    I unwrapped the plastic, heated up the food, served some rice, waited for the dishes to warm up, then had my dinner, and placed the dishes in the sink.

    I peeked in to see if Phoon was sleeping soundly, and when I thought he was, I closed the bedroom door and went to make some coffee, preparing to study for the night.

    In truth, my life before dating Phoon was quite ordinary and boring. Days were spent studying, nights reading, and then studying again the next day, with free time also dedicated to reading. It was just this cycle. But after having a boyfriend, some things changed, like bringing color to my otherwise mundane days.

    I often study until late at night; it’s a habit I’ve had for a long time, even before getting into medical school, and now even more so. Usually, Phoon would sit and watch TV or listen to music on the sofa to keep me company while I studied until he fell asleep.

    Actually, there’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately, even before I took Phoon to Japan, because during the midterms, I didn’t perform well. I don’t know, can I call myself not good? I thought I had studied as hard as I could, but when it came to the actual exam, there were several questions I couldn’t answer.

    That’s just how exams are. There’s no way you can answer everything given the difficulty and standards of the exams. The higher the year, the harder the subjects get, probably because I’ve never had so many unanswered questions before, which made me feel bad.    My scores were as expected; I knew from the exam that my marks would be around this level. Even though everyone said I did well, even the best among them, it still wasn’t good enough for myself.

    It’s really hard to overcome this habit of putting too much pressure on myself, and when my parents said they thought I could do better, it only increased the pressure. They weren’t really pressuring me, but as I’ve said, it’s an expectation, thinking I should do better, believing I should be like this or that.

    Sigh…thinking about it won’t change anything, better to focus on the present. I concentrated on the study sheet in front of me for over an hour until I had to rest my eyes from exhaustion, letting out a sigh as I felt tired.

    I got up from the desk and walked to the storage shelf to look for old study sheets. While searching, I found an old cigarette pack.

    Oh, I totally forgot about cigarettes. I haven’t smoked for months now, and I didn’t smoke often before, so I didn’t think about it much. When I picked up the pack, I saw there was a post-it note stuck on it with the message:

    Don’t smoke often, I’m worried.’

       Typhoon

       I couldn’t help but smile when I saw the message on the post-it. Phoon must have found it while cleaning and thought I was still smoking, but he didn’t ask or say anything about it.

    I peeled off the post-it and stuck it on the back of a notebook to keep before throwing away the cigarette pack. After finding the study sheets I needed, I went back to reading. Almost an hour later, I heard the bedroom door open slowly. I turned to see that the person who had been sleeping was now awake, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he walked towards me.

    “Couldn’t sleep?”

    “Yeah, what time is it?”

    “Almost midnight.”

    “Oh, I didn’t even know when you came back.”

    “Today, I got back at ten in the evening, and I saw you slumped over the desk, asleep.”

    “Oh, why didn’t you wake him up? I haven’t even showered yet; he’ll stink.”

    “He seemed fine to me.”

    “No, he should shower first,” Phoon said before going to grab his clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. He came out after about ten minutes in simple pajamas, “I’m up now.”    “How can you sleep after showering like that?”

    “I’ll get sleepy soon. What time will you read until tonight?”

    “Probably until about two in the morning.”

    “Oh, then I will go back to editing the video. Phii Fah you didn’t peek, right?”    “No, I didn’t look.”

    “Okay, don’t let me catch you cheating.”

    “Yes, yes,” I couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face, “Give me some encouragement for studying, please.” My words made him slowly come closer, and he kissed my cheek.

    “Susuna!”

    “One more.”

    “…” Phoon slightly frowned before leaning in and kissing my other cheek. When I said I wanted encouragement, I meant a kiss, but this was fine for now. I smiled contentedly, and Phoon walked away with a slightly red face, sitting back at the computer desk, putting on headphones to continue editing videos and photos.

    Typhoon

       Having had a nap and a shower, I was now wide awake, focusing on video editing for a while. Then I remembered that tomorrow was the day the exam results would be announced, which made me anxious.

    It’s five fifty-five now.

    Just five more minutes!

    I quickly opened the exam results website, but it was down, oh, damn it, it happens every year! I stood up in agitation, almost unable to sit still, trying to calm myself down when I noticed Phii Fah was seriously reading.

    I refreshed the page while keeping an eye on the time, and as the seconds ticked by, I got more and more excited, feeling all tense!    My heart pounded intensely when I realized it was midnight, and while trying to load the website, my hands were shaking all over. I was so excited I could almost explode, but I had to stay quiet!

    “Come on, load!” I whispered to myself. This ‘load’ meant the exam results, come on, load already! How long will this website take to load?

    It’s loaded!

       I held my breath as the white website slowly loaded.

       I passed!!

       “Arghhhhh!!!” I accidentally shouted out loud, startling Phii Fah, who was reading and quickly turned to look at me.

    “Phoon! What’s wrong?”

    “Phii Fah, aaah!!!”

    “Uh, what’s up?” Phii Fah quickly got up from his chair and came over to me.

    “Uh, I, I, oh, argh, I passed, I passed, I got into the photography program, I passed!” I shouted with joy until it was almost incoherent. I looked at the website again for reassurance, and Phii Fah rushed to look at the screen too, showing signs of happiness as well.

    “Congratulations~~” Not waiting for Phii Fah to finish, I jumped to hug him out of joy, unable to contain myself. Phii Fah looked a bit confused at being suddenly jumped on, but he quickly caught me.

       “I passed, oh, I, this…I!”

    “That’s great, congratulations, I knew you could do it.”

    “Thank you for believing in me, I did it! Yay!” Before Phii Fah gently set me down, I was nearly overwhelmed with joy. All the effort and studying for months wasn’t in vain; I finally got to study what I wanted! Phii Fah gently patted my head, looking at me with affection.

    I grinned back at him immediately.

    Now, I had to show off!

    I quickly grabbed my phone to call everyone. The last person I chatted with on LINE was Ter. I called him right away. It wasn’t long before the call was answered.

    “Ter!!”

    (What!? Why are you so loud!)

       “Aren’t you asleep yet?”

    (You bastard. Not just when calling out names, your voice cracks the whole sentence. Still watching Phii Hill read, and what?)

       “Me! Passed! Got in!”

    (What?)

       “Passed, you asshole, got into Photo!”

    (Holy shit, congrats, man, that’s great, let’s celebrate tomorrow.)

       “Yeah, we have to celebrate, can’t miss it now.”

    (Yeah, yeah, so have you told anyone else yet?)

       “Not yet, you’re the first. I’ll call to brag to others now.”

    (Heh. Nothing else, right?)

       “Nothing else. Just wanted to brag about passing.”

    (Okay, good night then.)

       “Good night.”

    I immediately scrolled through my chats to find Foam, calling him on LINE. He answered not long after. Of course, I called him with that cracking voice like I always do when I’m excited or upset, and he teased me about it. I told him about passing the exam, and he got really excited, congratulated me, and said we should celebrate together tomorrow, sounding just like Ter. We only talked for a bit before hanging up because he was actually sleeping and had to wake up to answer my call.

    Then, it was North’s turn, I guess.

    “Man, th-th-th!!”

    (Why’s your voice cracking? What’s up?)

       “Aren’t you asleep yet?”

    (-fuck, I’m playing games.)

       “I see. Didn’t know.”

    (So, what’s up?)

       “Me! Passed! Got into! Pho! To! Now!”

    (Really? Congrats, I knew you’d make it.)

       “Yeah, let’s celebrate tomorrow.”

    (Okay, okay, we’ll plan it. I’m going to play some games now.)

       “Addicted to games. Not sleeping, huh?”

    (Playing games while waiting for Phii Jo to finish studying.)

       “Oh, well, goodnight then.”

    (Goodnight.)

       After hanging up with North, the last person to call was Daotok.

    “Daotok!”

    (…Your voice sounds excited, which means something must have happened.)

       “I passed the photo exam!” I didn’t shout as loudly as with the others because I didn’t want to yell at Daotok.

    (Really? Wow, that’s great, congratulations. You’re a smart cat, no surprise there.)

       “Yeah, let’s celebrate tomorrow.”

    (Celebrate?)

       “Yeah, are you coming? I’ve already made plans with everyone.”

    (I probably won’t make it, sorry, I’ll give you a gift later.)

       “Why? Are you not free?”    (Well, yeah.)

       “Come on, Dao never comes to celebrations, come on, it’ll just be for a bit.”

    (…)

       “Pleaaaase.”

    (…Alright, then tell me the place. We’ll meet at the restaurant.)    “Okay! And why are you up so late? Don’t tell me you’re working again.”

    (Then we won’t tell.)

       “So, you’re working, huh?”

    (Yeah, yeah.)

       “Okay, okay, good luck. Sorry for bothering you, get some rest.”

    (Yeah, sweet dreams, cat.)

       “Sweet dreams to you too.”

       And with that, the mission of calling everyone to brag, I mean, to share the good news about passing the exam, was complete. I turned back to smile broadly at Phii Fah, the joy still not fading.

       “I might even get honors, heh-heh.”

    “Yes, you can do it.”

    “I will do my best, as a student of yours, I won’t let my teacher down!” I said with a strong voice, making a respectful gesture, which made Phii Fah smile slightly at my antics.

    “If you go to study, I will probably only be able to tutor you for free outside of school. But for photography and stuff like that, you should already be good at it.”

    “Yes.” And with overwhelming joy, I hugged the person in front of me again. Phii Fah hugged me back.

    Now I have done it, Fan.

       I’ll have to tell this good news to Mom, Aunt Nuan, and Aunt Prae too!

      

    Tonfah

       Today was supposed to be a day for the juniors to get together for a celebration; they had already booked a restaurant thinking everyone would be free on Saturday, but we ended up having make-up classes. So, I dropped Phoon off to hang out with his friends in the morning, thinking why not. We were supposed to go out for dinner together in the evening. Staying alone in the room in the morning would be quite boring.

       I dropped him off at the mall because Phoon said they might eat and watch a movie there, hoping they would stay at the mall and not go causing trouble anywhere else.

       It seems Phoon has noticed that I haven’t been feeling too great recently, so he’s been trying to stay close, being more affectionate.

    Even though he’s usually quite clingy, it’s because Phoon knows I’ve been studying hard, and telling me not to stress out is something easier said than done. Normally, Phoon takes good care of me, from preparing meals, getting things ready, cleaning the room, doing everything he can.

       “Fah!”

    “What?” I turned to ask a female friend who approached me during the break.

    “Can you explain this part? No one in our group understands it.”    “Oh,” and then I explained the content to her, adjusting the professor’s words a bit to make it easier to understand.    “Oh, okay, thanks,” she said with a smile. I smiled back courteously, “Oh, Fah, is the person you post on Instagram really your boyfriend?”    “Yeah, why?”

    “Nothing, he’s cute, is he your junior?”

    “Yeah.”

    “He’s really cute. We were just talking about how cute your boyfriend is, he’s so adorable.”

    “Oh…thanks.”

    “I want to meet him in person. What department is he in?”

    “He’s about to enter the Photography program.”

    “Oh, I’ll go check him out later, his Instagram is full of pictures of you.”

    I didn’t say anything, just smiled, before she talked a bit more and then walked away.

    “Jo,” I called out to the person sitting next to me.

    “What?”

    “Have people ever complimented North on being cute?”

    “Sometimes, why?”

    “Do you like it?”

    “No.”

    “Then it’s not weird, right?”

    “I don’t know,” Jo said, “The point isn’t whether it’s weird or not, the point is I don’t like it.”

    “Hmm,” I let out a small sigh. Even though I wasn’t too pleased with people complimenting Phoon like that, when I thought about it, isn’t it good that people think my boyfriend is cute? They’re just complimenting, it doesn’t mean anything more.

    If just seeing a photo makes people say Phoon is cute, does that mean when Phoon enters the new faculty, there will be even more people?

       “Hill,” I called out.

    “What?”

    “When Phoon was studying vet science, did a lot of people like him?”

    “…Why suddenly ask?” Hill raised an eyebrow, looking slightly puzzled, “Yes.”

    “Yes?”

    “Uh, Ter told me there were quite a few, both seniors and peers.”

    “Quite a few?”

    “Uh, that’s what I heard.”

    “How many people?”

    “Don’t know.”

    “How did they flirt?”

    “Don’t know.”

    “And what did Phoon say?”

    “He probably rejected them.”

    “Probably? Why probably?”

    “…”

    “Were they just flirting, not chasing him aggressively, right?”

    “No, they didn’t.”

    “Well, that’s good,” I sighed in relief. Even though it’s in the past, if someone had done something bad to Phoon, I would definitely feel uneasy.

    “When he enters Photo, there will probably be people liking him again,” Hill said.

    “Yeah,” I shrugged slightly, not too concerned.

    “People are looking at your boyfriend, do you like it?”

    “I don’t like it, but what does it matter if they look?”

    “…”

    “Phoon only looks at me, that’s all.”

    “Fuck, that’s really annoying,” Jo said, bursting into laughter, making me laugh too, “So, you’re saying Phoon loves you a lot?”

    “No. Not saying that, but it’s true.” I teased them just for fun, and indeed, they got annoyed.

    “A new level of bragging,” Arthit teased, “I thought Hill and Jo were annoying enough, but you, Fah, take the cake.”

    “And what about you, Arthit? Don’t you have anything to brag about?” I countered.    “Huh? Me?”

    “Yeah. Nothing?”

    “How could there be?”

    “Someone you’re talking to?”

    “My dad still doesn’t talk to me these days.”

    “Hasn’t he unblocked you on LINE yet?” Jo asked, laughing.    “Yeah, tell my dad to unblock me on LINE, you have his LINE, right?”

    “Yeah, yeah, my friend’s situation is pitiful.”

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 37: His cat

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 37: His cat

       Tonfah

       I glanced at the person walking ahead with happiness, Phoon in the white winter jacket I once bought for him, black jeans, and black sneakers. He might not notice it much himself, but Phoon usually dresses in black almost every day, so seeing him in white was a bit different but fitting.

    It seems like the person who just got a new camera is very excited, especially since it’s Phoon. So, I didn’t have any other gift ideas besides the camera; it’s the one thing that the little one loves to the point of obsession, no matter how many cameras or lenses he has, it wouldn’t be enough.

    Just like how I’m obsessed with Typhoon’s smile right now, his large, bright eyes blending perfectly with the morning air. I’ve heard that when people are with something they love deeply, they have a charm. I only understood this when I saw Phoon with his camera. I never thought someone could love photography this much. Whether it’s lifting the camera to shoot, checking the photos, or even editing them, it’s all captivating.

    We were at Osaka Castle, the first place the younger ones said we had to visit, and it was fortunate because it was spring, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

    It was all so beautiful. From the pink cherry blossoms lining the path to the child with a big smile on his face with the camera in hand.    The gentle breeze blew, and the sweet-faced owner turned towards me, the same camera stopping in front of my face. The photographer paused for a moment before pressing the shutter. After taking the photo, Phoon lowered the camera and looked at the screen.

    “How is it?” I asked.

    “Take a look,” Phoon said before quickly approaching me, handing me the camera to see the picture he had just taken. It was a full-body shot of me standing in the middle of the path with cherry trees on both sides, with a few people walking in the background and sides, but the focus was solely on me.

    It’s well known that this photographer takes the most beautiful pictures.

    “What do you think?”

    “The model is clear as day.”

    “Anyone standing here would look good with this kind of shot.”

    “That’s not true,” Phoon shook his head slightly, “It’s also because of the model. Since you are tall, the full-body shot looks good like this.”

    “Hmm,” I raised my eyebrows a bit. I’m not one to compliment myself much, but I’m not completely lacking in confidence either, “If you say so.”

    “Uh, you don’t often compliment yourself, huh?” The person next to me said playfully.

    “Phoon is the same,” I replied, and he gave a broad smile.

    “One more photo, please.”

    “What should I do?” I asked because when Phoon takes photos of me, I usually don’t know what to do. It’s not just when Phoon takes photos; I generally don’t like having my picture taken, so I don’t know much about these things.

    “Hmm, just walk normally,” Phoon said.

    “Okay,” I agreed, then Phoon circled around to the back.

    “Turn around a bit, but don’t look at the camera.”

    “Then what should I look at?”

    “Look…you can look at North.”

    “Johan would have something to say about that.”    “Phii Jo won’t know,” he said.

    I didn’t respond, instead, I turned to the side, looking at the cherry blossom trees. As the wind blew, my hair fluttered with it. After a moment, thinking it was enough, I turned to look at Phoon. Since the wind was blowing, I had to push my hair back to keep it from covering my face, before Phoon took another three rapid shots.

       “Wow, that’s beautiful,” the photographer said excitedly, quickly showing me the photos, “Phii Fah could be a model, really.”    “I’d rather not,” I smiled.

    “Phoon,” I turned along with Phoon when we heard the call; it was Ter and Hill approaching. Now, all of us were out sightseeing together, except for Arthit, who never likes going anywhere with others, especially not with this group; he’s definitely not going to join, preferring to go off alone for a long time. I just hoped he wouldn’t forget the time we were supposed to meet back for our return to Thailand.

    “How’s it going? Did you find any beautiful spots?” Phoon asked Ter. These two really get along well when it comes to photography, both enjoying it, but Ter doesn’t take it as seriously.

    “That spot wasn’t bad, especially with the cherry blossoms.”

    “Oh, just from this direction,” Phoon said, showing Ter the photos. The one who just saw them looked slightly amazed, “What do you think?”

    “Stunning,” Ter said, “You should check this out first,” before showing Phoon his own camera.

    “Hey, did you secretly take a picture of me?”

    “It turned out nice, right, Phii Fah?” Then Ter showed me some pictures, ones he took of me and Phoon from not too far away, when we were walking together, smiling at each other while Phoon was taking my photo, “Here’s another behind-the-scenes shot.”

    “It’s beautiful,” I answered, “Can you send it to me?”

    “Sure,” Ter smiled. I like the pictures Ter took of me and Phoon. I can’t really put it into words, but they look natural, and I especially like how Phoon smiles when I’m not looking, that smile when he’s not focusing on the camera.

    If he’s going to smile this cutely while taking pictures,    I wouldn’t want him to take photos of anyone else.

    “The cherry blossoms are damn beautiful,” I said to Ter as the two of us walked slightly ahead of Phii Hill and Phii Fah, heading to capture the scenery around Osaka Castle. The soft sunlight slightly changed the tone of the photos, but I like it when the sun is out; for me, the pictures turn out even prettier.

    I wanted to secretly take many photos of Phii Fah, but that would be difficult since he would notice even the slightest attempt.

    I took a lot of landscape photos, especially of the cherry blossoms in full bloom, with angles looking up to the sky, making them look even more beautiful.

    Walking along, I saw a moat around the castle with ducks in it, which I thought were cute, so I couldn’t help but stop to take photos.    “You can’t take pictures of everything, Phoon. We haven’t even reached the castle yet,” Ter said.

    “Yeah, we’ve been here for almost twenty minutes, right?”    “Yeah, if you keep going like this, we won’t have time to see much, probably won’t even go inside.”

    “Hmm,” I pouted in frustration before turning back when I felt someone approaching, “How are they?” I asked North, who had just arrived. Earlier, while taking photos with Phii Fah, I saw him not too far away.

    “Looks good, the cherry blossoms are in perfect bloom, we’re damn lucky.”

    “Aren’t you taking any photos?” Ter asked.

    “I’m not good at it, I’ll just take the ones from you guys.”

    “As expected, here, I secretly took some of you and Phii Jo too,” Ter said, showing the pictures from his camera to North, who immediately raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

    “When did you sneak the photo?”

    “It was slick, I could be a paparazzo,” Ter said with pride, especially since he had just sneakily taken a photo of me and Phii Fah, and it turned out to be a beautiful shot.

    “Doctoring isn’t your thing anymore, huh?” North said.    “Yeah, I quit. Next time you’re sick, you won’t be able to come to me.”

    “Damn, Ter,” and North gave Ter a piece of his mind. I glanced back at the three doctors chatting behind us. The scene before me seemed like something out of a movie, and I couldn’t resist lifting the camera hanging around my neck to take a picture. Of course, they must have noticed.

    Maybe because they’re used to being photographed secretly.    Phii Fah looked at me, raising an eyebrow slightly. I made a face before lowering the camera.

       “Pretend you didn’t see,” I said with a pout; how could someone notice they’re being photographed secretly like that?

    “Oh, okay,” Phii Fah laughed, then nudged Phii Jo and Phii Hill to act like they didn’t know. The other two looked slightly surprised before agreeing to play along, turning back to their conversation as before.

    “How did you manage to sneak that shot, Ter?” I asked after I had taken photos of the three of them, scrolling through the images I’d just captured. I must say, they really are attractive, all three of them, even more so when they stand together like this, drawing everyone’s gaze.

    No wonder it’s not just us looking at them right now.

    “You have to do it when Phii Fah or Phii Jo are with you guys. They won’t pay attention to anything else then,” Ter said, making me feel a bit embarrassed, “But trying to sneak a photo any other time, you won’t get away with it.”

    “Yeah, that’s true, I’ve never succeeded in catching Phii Jo off guard in a photo. He always knows. I don’t know why he’s so perceptive.”

    “Maybe because he gets photographed a lot,” I said, “I’ve seen on the university page, there are many candid shots of him, right? While

    Phii Fah and Phii Hill act like they don’t see it, Phii Jo mocks the camera with a smile.”

    Speaking of the university page reminded me, because I’m not much into social media, only using it to keep in touch with friends. But after dating Phii Fah, he became somewhat of a celebrity at the university, even being the runner-up for the month. People comment a lot about us, but I don’t read them because I’m lazy, yet I want to say that the candid photos of Phii Fah are terrible, the angles are bad, and they’re even blurry!

    I’m not angry because someone photographed Phii Fah secretly.

    But if I knew who it was, I’d teach them how to take proper photos!

    “Why are you making a cat face?”

    “Huh, what cat?”

    “When you’re sulky, you make a cat face, Phoon,” Ter explained, continuing from what North had just asked. I immediately looked at them with a surprised expression, “Like when you frown and squint your eyes, making a pouty face.”    “You mean me?” I pointed at myself.

    “Yes, you, I’m talking to you.”

    “No way, that’s impossible,” I shook my head rapidly, narrowing my eyes at them.

    “You look even more like a cat now.”

    “Enough,” I said to stop the teasing about me looking like a cat, before noticing a bridge ahead which probably led into the castle area. It was really a vast castle, making me tired from all the walking, and when we reached the bridge, I couldn’t help but stop to take more pictures.

    “You’re so excited,” North teased.

    “Of course, it’s a new camera, you bastard, I’ve gone mad over it.

    This camera cost two hundred thousand! Who would’ve thought Phii Fah would buy it as a birthday gift? It’s the most expensive and best gift I’ve ever gotten, look at this…” I noticed Phii Jo watching.    “Stop,” North raised his hand to stop me, “I’m getting a headache from hearing you brag about your camera.”

    “Come on, I’m just excited.”

    “Yeah, yeah, my bad. I won’t tease anymore, go ahead and take your photos.”

    “North, be a model for me.”

    “Me?”

    “Yeah, you. Phii Fah said it doesn’t matter who the model is,” I repeated what Phii Fah had told me earlier.

    “What does he know? Do you think if it wasn’t him in that photo, it would have turned out that good?” North said with a slightly annoyed look but still agreed to stand by the bridge to be my model, “How should I pose?”

    “Just act normal,” I said. Soon, North turned to smile at the camera. I searched for the right angle for a while before taking the shot, not realizing that the seniors had been standing behind me for who knows how long. North looked a bit embarrassed.

    Come to think of it, Ter also often gets embarrassed around Phii Hill.

    “I’m shy, or are the doctors just good at making me shy?

    I think it’s the latter, because if it weren’t for Phii Fah, I wouldn’t get shy at all.

    “Did you get a lot of photos?” Phii Fah asked. I nodded in response before stepping closer to show him the photos on the camera. It’s become a habit to show Phii Fah my photos first whenever I take any. “I like the one with the duck,” I said, pointing to the duck by the canal we just passed, then scrolling through until I reached the photo of the three doctors walking and chatting. This made Phii Fah raise an eyebrow slightly, “Why?”

    “Nothing. Just that we don’t usually have photos together.”    “Let me see,” Phii Jo walked over. I handed him the camera, “Hill, look at this.”

    “What?” Phii Hill asked, turning around.

    “Our photo.”

    “Come to think of it, we never go out together,” Phii Hill said to Phii Jo after seeing the photo.

    “Yeah. Normally, these are candid shots, ah, but this one’s candid too. Didn’t even notice,” Phii Fah teased me a bit, which made me inadvertently frown at him.

    “If Phii Arthit was here, it would be complete,” I said, “Why didn’t he come with us?”

    “He’s not one for going out with a lot of people,” Phii Fah explained, “Especially when traveling, he prefers going alone.”

    “Oh,” I nodded in understanding. Seems like he really values his freedom, huh, Phii Arthit. After spending some time taking photos at the bridge, I was suddenly holding hands with Phii Fah because I was too busy taking photos to notice everyone else had moved ahead.

    Let’s sneak a photo of Ter and Phii Hill. That’s revenge for them taking candid shots of everyone else.

    “We need to hurry a bit, because according to our plan, we’ve got several more places to go, right?” Phii Fah asked with a smile. I nodded in response, one hand still holding his, making me feel both shy and warm at the same time.

    I remembered last time, when we held hands like this while sightseeing.

    Going out with more people does make me tense, especially because of Ter and North; I still remember being teased about…about the morning kiss.

    I picked up the camera with my free hand to take a photo of our joined hands, then slowly moved the camera up to capture the person next to me, up close, and seeing that Phii Fah wasn’t looking at the camera made me think…    Switch to video mode instead.

       “Phii Fah,” I called out, and the owner of the name slowly turned around just as a gentle breeze blew by.

    “What is it?”

    “I want to record a video.”

    “What kind of video?”

    “It’s a birthday memory of me in Osaka with you Phii Fah.”

    “Oh,” before a beautiful smile gradually spread across his handsome face. I believe if that shot just now was edited into slow motion, it would definitely be amazing. “Are you going to edit it?”

    “Yes.”

    Phii Fah raised the hand that was holding mine, touching his lips to the back of my hand and glancing at the camera. At such close range, it made me freeze as if my heart had stopped for a moment, and when I came to my senses, my heart started beating strongly.

       “Don’t cut this part out, okay?”

    “…Okay,” I said in a faint voice. The other seemed satisfied before lowering his hand. I stopped recording the video for now. If I included the shot where Phii Fah kissed my hand in the video…

    It would look very sweet.

    There’s no way I would cut that part out during editing because it’s our memory, after all.

    Before we headed up to Osaka Castle, looked at the view from the top of the castle, we didn’t stay long before descending and planning to go elsewhere.

    “Takoyaki!” Ter turned to see a takoyaki stall and spoke with interest. Of course, he was the first to rush over, followed immediately by Phii Hill.

    “What are they doing?” North asked me.

    “Probably eating, they must have walked by and smelled it,” I said, unable to suppress a chuckle.

    “But it looks good, the original from Japan is like this.”

    “Original again,” I hadn’t finished speaking when North followed Ter.

    “Aren’t you going to buy any?”

    “I am not hungry,” I turned to respond to Phii Fah.

    “You can try some, eat a lot, come on, didn’t your mom say to eat more because you’re too skinny?” Phii Fah’s words forced me into the takoyaki shop, even though I thought I’d been eating a lot lately. But my mom still says I’m too thin.

    After buying some, I poked one with a stick, blew on it, thinking it was cool enough, and tried it. It was delicious, but then I felt a sharp pain in my mouth.

    “What’s wrong? Does your mouth hurt?”

    “…” I didn’t respond, inadvertently frowning at him; the pain was from where my mouth had cracked that morning. I wanted to be sulky but decided to let it go. Better not to mention it. “Try it, Phii Fah, it’s really tasty.”

    “Feed me one.”

    I poked another piece of takoyaki and blew on it to cool it down before feeding it to Phii Fah. After we finished eating, we prepared to move on to another place.

    “Hey,” Ter nudged me and showed me a photo on the camera, one where I was about to feed takoyaki to Phii Fah.

    “Sneak photo again.”

    “Is it nice? Phii Fah looks so handsome even with his mouth open to eat takoyaki.”

    “Phii Hill will take it down later.”

    “Phii Hill won’t mind.”

    “Really?” I asked incredulously, thinking Ter shouldn’t be sulking if he gets scolded by Phii Hill. Then we continued walking to a nearby place where they sold goods. While we were buying ice cream, I noticed Phii Jo buying beer.

    Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Phii Fah drink.

    “Do you usually drink?”

    “Beer?”

    “Yes. Like, alcoholic drinks?”

    “Not really. I don’t like them much.”

    “Oh,” I nodded, thinking it wasn’t that surprising.

    “What about you Phoon?”

    “Huh, me? No, not anymore.”

    “Didn’t you tell me that you used to drink a lot before?”

    “Oh, that was a long time ago, back when I was rebellious,” I said, thinking back to those days when I was a naughty kid who often ran away from home, fought with Fan, and behaved badly while drinking with friends, “But now I don’t touch it at all.”

    “That’s good, but if you feel like drinking, let Phii Fah know.”

    “Will you drink with me?”

    “No, I’ll keep an eye on you.”

    “I can take care of myself, you know. When drinking.”

    “I’m still worried,” Phii Fah said in a calm tone as if it were just a casual statement, but for me, it felt quite special. I couldn’t help but smile secretly when I heard that.

    Initially, we had planned to go to the aquarium, but we thought it would be more beautiful at night because they have a light show. During the day, we decided to walk around and look at various things, then visit a temple to pray and make merit instead.

    In the evening, we arrived at the pier where there’s the aquarium and a giant Ferris wheel. The first thing that caught my eye was the

    Ferris wheel. From the information I gathered, it’s open until late. So, we headed to the aquarium first.

    “Hey, what’s up?” I asked when I noticed Phii Fah kept looking at me.

    “Nothing, just that you look so excited.”

    “I am excited.”

    “That’s good.”

    The two of us held hands as we walked further in. The front of the aquarium indeed had the light display as I had read about, with a plaza full of blue lights giving the feeling that we were underwater or at the icy poles with the cold air and strong winds.

       Before we could look around more, the highlight was penguins walking along the path with a guard. Of course, I didn’t miss the chance to take a photo right there.

       “Looks familiar, ah, but I can’t remember what kind of penguin it is.”

    “Emperor,” Phii Fah answered. I nodded slightly before turning my attention back to the little one in front, not forgetting to record a video. Today, I’ve got plenty of footage to edit for my birthday video in Osaka.

    Walking inside, I found that it was decorated with the same color lighting as outside, in a blue tone, dark blue. The ceiling was full of bright blue lights, making it feel like we were under the deep sea. Even with the blue lights, the darkness inside made it hard to clearly see the person beside me.

    While Phii Fah was scanning the surroundings, I took the opportunity to capture him, who was absorbed in the beautiful ambiance around us.

    Looking through the lens, I realized that no matter what lighting, he always looked captivating.

    “Can I borrow your camera for a moment?”

    “Sure, are you going to take photos?”

    “Yes, it’s so beautiful, I want to capture it.” Hearing that, I took off the camera and handed it to him. Without the camera in my hands, I started looking around, but when I saw Phii Fah holding the camera and taking photos, I paused.

    I’ve noticed many times before, whenever Phii Fah holds a camera, he looks really good.

    I wanted to take a photo of that moment, but I didn’t have my camera with me.

    Wait…

    “Phii Fah, are you taking photos of me?”

    “Yes.”

    “But didn’t you say you were going to take photos around here?”    “When did I say that? I just said it was so beautiful I wanted to capture it.”

    “Then take the photos.”

    “I am taking them.”

    “…”

    I froze when I understood what he meant. Saying it was so beautiful he wanted to capture it and then only taking photos of me meant he was talking about me, right? Realizing that, I protested to cover my embarrassment.

    “Is this revenge?”

    “Not at all, you don’t usually like taking photos of yourself, right?”

    “Yes.”

    “So, Phii Fah will take the photos instead. It would be such a pity if we didn’t capture this beauty.”

    Phii Fah’s words left me speechless for a moment, then he handed the camera back to me. I took the camera and quickly looked at the photos, finding both moments when I was distracted, staring around, and when I turned to complain to the camera.

    “Don’t delete them, okay?”

    “Ugh.”

    I pouted playfully; Phii Fah had taken really beautiful photos. Not because I was in them, but because of the angles and everything else in the shots, overall, they were very good.

    We walked into the underwater tunnel, and somehow, we had gotten separated from the others. I didn’t know when, maybe from the entrance.

    “Phii Fah, do you see the others?”

    “We got separated at the entrance.”

    “Oh, I didn’t even realize.”

    “When you were looking at the penguins.”

    “Oh, that’s bad, what should we do?”

    “We can call them later when we’re back. It’ll be hard to find them now.”

    “Okay.”

    We continued through the underwater tunnel to the Japanese forest zone, which was like an ecosystem simulation. I took lots of cute animal photos, then we moved to the marine animal tanks. I didn’t know how long I spent in there, but by the time I realized it, I had seen everything. It seemed like it took quite a while, but Phii Fah didn’t complain, waiting patiently until I had taken enough photos.

    “Was it fun?” Phii Fah asked after we left the aquarium. Outside, it was now completely dark. I checked the time; it was almost ten at night.

    “Yes, the decorations were very beautiful.”

    “Shall we go on the Ferris wheel?”

    “Yes!” I said excitedly once more when I realized we were about to get on the Ferris wheel. I told you it was the first thing that caught my eye. After waiting in line for just a short while, we got into the gondola. I sat down, and Phii Fah sat opposite me. With the darkness, the view around us looked incredibly beautiful.

    I gazed at the view outside as we gradually ascended, the lights below illuminating Osaka Bay, bridges visible in the distance. Since the Ferris wheel was so high, it felt like we could see the whole city of Osaka.

    “Thank you for bringing me here.”

    “Thank you again.”

    “Really, thank you. Today was so much fun. I never thought I’d get to hang out with you and everyone, and get so many memorable photos and videos,” I said, turning to meet the eyes of the person sitting opposite me, only to find he was already looking at me.

    With the dim light from below, I wasn’t so afraid of the darkness I was experiencing. Especially with Phii Fah here, there was nothing to be scared of. I reached out and held his hand, looking into those beautiful eyes with a heart beating strongly, filled with love for this person and gratitude beyond words.

    “Have you ever thought about it, Phii Fah?”

    “What?”

    “About having a boyfriend, what it would be like.”

    “Never,” he said softly, with a warm smile on his handsome face. “Why not?”

    “Before, when I was alone, it was okay. I didn’t pay attention to anyone.”

    “Really? Even though so many people like you, Phii Fah.”

    “Well, I don’t like any of them.”

    “But you like me, that’s strange.”

    “Why?”

    “…”

    “Honestly, there are so many better people than me.”

    “But there’s only one you, Phoon.”

    “Then let me ask back, there are plenty of people better than me, why don’t you like them?”

    “It’s been you from the start.”

    “Phoon you is the type of person I like. If you showed me his true self, I would probably fall in love with you easily, maybe even from several years ago.”

    “My true self…” I repeated his words, nodding to show I understood well, because I had asked Phii Fah once when we first started dating. I had never truly shown my real self to Phii Fah before that, “Who would dare?”    “Why not?”

    “If I showed that I liked you and you rejected me, that would be bad.”

    “But I didn’t reject you, did I?”

    “Right, but because there was the letter, I got the courage. Back then, I was so scared that you wouldn’t be okay with me being the person from the letter,” I said truthfully.

    “That’s good then. No matter what, as long as I got to know the real you, that’s enough.”

    “What if I ran away back then, at the bridge?” I asked, referring to when Phii Fah asked me out.

    “I told you, we would go back to where you feel comfortable, no matter how long it takes.”    “No matter how long? One year?”

    “Yes.”

    “Two years?”

    “Yes.”

    “Five years?”

    “Yes.”

    “Then, ten years?”

    “Yes.”

    “Wow, aren’t you exaggerating?”

    “No, because back then, I decided that no matter what, it had to be you. As long as we could still talk like that, no matter how many years it took, while I finished his studies, worked as a doctor in the hospital,

    I would come back to write letters to talk with you like before.”    “…Wow,” because those earnest eyes made me realize.

    I was stunned because it made me understand that Phii Fah wasn’t lying at all.

    “Phii Fah you could rush me, you know. You had the right not to be okay with the situation back then. Why didn’t you demand anything?” I said in a soft voice, feeling like something was stuck in my throat.

    “But I am okay with it, why demand anything?”

    “…” I pressed my lips together, feeling my heart swell with emotion. I let silence envelop us for a while because I didn’t know what to say to break this silence, until I remembered I hadn’t recorded a video. I started recording the night view of Osaka from over a hundred meters high, the colorful lights making me gaze in awe for a long time.

    “Do you like the view from here?”

    “Yeah, I love it, I want to come again.”

    “When we come to visit your mom, we’ll come again.”

    “Really, you promised,” I said, emphasizing it, and the other laughed a little.

    “I already take you everywhere,” said the person opposite me, “In fact, I want to bring you out more often too, but Phii Fah doesn’t really have the time.”

    “It’s okay.”

    “…”

    “I’m sorry for not having much time, even though I promised to take good care of you,” what Phii Fah said likely referred to the recent times when he was busy with studies and exams. He’s been studying hard, so it’s not surprising he doesn’t have much time. In fact, Phii Fah seemed somewhat worried about not having enough time for me.

       I shook my head immediately.

       “It’s really okay.”

    “…”

    “Besides, having a boyfriend who’s going to be a doctor isn’t bad.”    I said with a broad smile, and the other reached out to pinch my cheek lightly, with a playful grin.

    “Besides, you have been taking good care of me too.”

    “Really?”

    “Wow, honestly, despite studying hard, Phii Fah you still do so much for me, and I’m very grateful,” I said. Actually, you take care of me too well. No matter where we go or what we do, I hardly have to do anything myself. Even during exam times when he was tired, he still tried to come see me, “Phoon should be the one taking care of you. I haven’t done much for you.”

    “Being a good kid is enough.”

    “I am a good kid. Never been rebellious.”

    “Then who was it that brought coffee while I was studying, late at night, told to wait in the room but didn’t listen, and still came alone by car?”

    “That’s right. Who knows,” I pretended, because when Phii Fah was studying outside. Initially, Phii Fah told me to wait in the room because he would study until the morning, so I wouldn’t have to go through trouble if I came to wait, but I stubbornly took coffee to him and ended up staying to keep watch.

    I remember it was late that night, yet I still stubbornly went by car to find Phii Fah. Of course, I got scolded a lot for it. After that, Phii Fah didn’t let me stay in the room alone anymore because he didn’t trust me not to sneak out again.

    Come to think of it, I’m quite clingy to Phii Fah like a leech.

    “Must be a cat, then, number one in stubbornness.”

    “Not stubborn.”

    “Cats are stubborn.”

    “Not a cat. Not stubborn either.”

    “Cat.”

    “Yes?”

    “You just said you’re not a cat, why do you answer when I call you a cat?”

    “Oh,” I frowned slightly, it’s just that I’m used to being called like that by them, “Fine, I’m a cat, but not stubborn.”

    “Still stubborn.”

    “Is that stubborn?”

    “Hmm.”

    “Phii Fah you always says I am stubborn, is I really that stubborn?”

    “Not really. Just with this matter.”

    “…Oh.”

    “Feeling upset?”

    “No. Just asking, if I’m too stubborn to the point where it’s bad, then I’ll adjust.”

    “It’s fine, you being yourself is good enough.”

    “Alright,” I smiled broadly at him, I wasn’t actually upset, I meant what I said.

    “No matter how stubborn, you’re still my cat,” Phii Fah said while gently ruffling my hair.

    “Hehe, this cat is very loyal, even dogs can’t compete.”

    “Really?”

    “Really, if I were a cat, and cats really have nine lives, I would give all nine lives to you, Phii Fah.”

    “Hmm? All of them?”

    “All of them, give everything, even stuff it into your hands,” I said with a slight chuckle.

    “Okay, then Phii Fah will gladly accept them all.”

    “…“

    I love these moments when we talk like this. It might seem insignificant, but it’s sweet to me.

       Before I knew it, it was time to get off the Ferris wheel. Phii Fah called the others to meet up around here.

       “Where are we going next?” Phii Fah asked.

    “To celebrate your birthday. I’ve looked at some places,” I answered while we were walking around Osaka Bay. Seeing our two shadows stretching ahead, I thought of something, and immediately took out my phone to take a picture.

    I posted a photo of our two shadows walking together on Instagram.

    With the caption:

    ‘You Have All My 9 Lives’

      SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME 

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 36: Typhoon’s Day

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 36: Typhoon’s Day

       Tonfah

       “You did it on purpose.”

    “What?” I asked Jo while we were in the supermarket. Hill and Ter were selecting other items. Meanwhile, Jo and I were keeping an eye on North and Phoon choosing fish.

    “You’re not slick.”

    “Really? That’s too bad.”

    “It’s fun seeing Phoon get embarrassed.”

    “He’s cute when he’s embarrassed.”

    “Yeah, so how was yesterday?”

    “It was good. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about anymore.”

    “Good.” Jo said this, though his face didn’t show any emotion, indicating he was somewhat irritated. I guessed it was because he had to wake up early.

    “Why do you have to make such a scary face?”

    “You’re sleepy, aren’t you?”

    “I am sleepy, but I was sleeping, and you made Phoon get out of bed.” I said, turning to look at him, “Who came up with the idea to cook?”

    “Ter.”

    “Oh, but Hill…” I said only that and looked past Jo to where Hill was talking with Ter on the other side, “just sleeping would have been enough.”

    “He’s not human, that bastard.”

    “And has Arthit woken up yet?”

    “Don’t know, if he hasn’t, he might as well be dead.”

    Because after we finished the exams, we rushed straight to Japan. At first, we didn’t think they would come along, but it seemed North and Ter wanted to join, so they had to come. The state of medical students who had just finished their exams wasn’t exactly great.

    “I never thought I’d do so much for someone,” I said, and the person next to me turned to look at me with a slightly surprised expression.

    “What do you mean?”

    “Normally, when I do something for others, I do it only to the extent I want to. But for Phoon, I never thought I’d do something like this. I brought him to Japan even though I hadn’t slept more than eight hours last week, yet I still managed to drive, and I didn’t even think about complaining.”

    “Yeah, that’s really strange.”

    I turned to look at Phoon, who seemed to be getting teased by North. His face and ears were red, sneaking glances at me. Once I looked back, he averted his gaze, then lightly hit North several times.

       “He hit him again,” I said, glancing at the person next to me.

    “North said when Phoon is embarrassed, he uses force.”

    “Yeah, I get hit a lot too,” I said. There have been many times when Phoon, in his embarrassment, would hit my arm or chest, but it doesn’t hurt; it’s like a cat’s strength. He’d turn red and threaten to hit, but who would be scared of that?

    I don’t know if it’s because of his fair skin that he turns red easily; sometimes just touching him makes him blush.

       Speaking of last night, around midnight, I woke up with Phoon still in my arms, his unique scent filling the air. I’ve told Phoon that I like it, but he probably doesn’t know that it’s made me lose control several times.

       I wonder if Phoon has noticed the marks on his neck that have increased since last night; if he hasn’t noticed yet, that’s good. Otherwise, he might sulk again.

       “Phii Fah,” Phoon called me with a sweet voice. I turned towards the sound immediately.

    Phoon has been calling me like this for a long time, but after we started dating, I really enjoy hearing him call my name.

    “Yes?”

    “Shall we make tonkatsu?”

    “What about the fish?”

    “I don’t want to anymore, I think I can’t cut the fish.”    “Okay,” I smiled back before we went to choose ingredients for tonkatsu instead. It didn’t take long to buy everything, and we returned to the hotel. Somehow, everyone had agreed to use my room for cooking, which I didn’t mind because I knew that the others’ rooms were definitely off-limits. They’re the type that doesn’t like anyone messing with their personal space.

    We sat waiting on the sofa because we weren’t allowed to help.

    Actually, I wanted to help, but Phoon wouldn’t let me, so I had to sit with Hill and Jo.

    “Is today Phoon’s birthday?” Hill asked as soon as I sat down on the sofa.

    “Yeah.”

    “I don’t have a gift, but if you want me to buy something, just tell me.”

    “It’s probably fine.”

    “Birthdays are always a problem,” Jo grumbled, “Let’s ask North later.”

    “Did you buy anything?” Hill turned to ask. I nodded in response,

    “Any surprise?”

    “I’m not good at that kind of thing,” I replied, “I’ll just give the usual gift.”

    “What did you buy?” Jo asked.

    “A camera, I saw Phoon wanted one. Phoon didn’t tell me, but I noticed he was looking up information on them quite a bit, so I decided to buy it as a birthday gift.”    “What kind of camera?” Jo asked.

    “I don’t know, I showed a picture to the store clerk.”

    “How much?”

    “Over two hundred thousand.”

    “Hmm. Not surprising, you’re that into him,” Jo said, raising his eyebrows at Hill, “We’ve been talking about watching you. At first, you teased us quite a bit.”

    “How are things going now, Tonfah?” Hill asked.

    “It’s no different from you guys. If Phoon says sun is rising in the west, I’d believe it,” I said, chuckling slightly.

    “What does science matter anymore? Just believing your wife is enough,” Jo said, laughing as well.

    “It’s good, you look more like a human now,” Hill said.

    “Like a human? Wasn’t I one before?”

    “You look like a normal person. At first, we were worried that your kindness would backfire and hurt you and Phoon, but seeing you now, it seems fine. Do you still keep in touch with the students you tutored?” Hill asked. I shook my head in response. Before, Hill and Jo used to complain about my kindness, especially towards the younger students with darker skin, but now I don’t tutor anyone anymore. “Who else am I supposed to tutor? I don’t even have time to sleep.

    If I have time, I’d rather spend it with Phoon.”

    “I’m really proud of you, Tonfah,” Johan said, but before anyone could say more, there was a knock at the door. I went to open it and found Arthit, who had just woken up, still yawning.

    “Hey, are you guys cooking up a storm?”

    “Yeah, come in,” I had messaged Arthit to come to my room if he woke up since we were planning to cook breakfast ourselves. Arthit followed me into the room and sat on the sofa, looking sleepy.

    “So, where’s the food?”

    “It’s not done yet.”

    “Your wives made it?” Arthit raised his eyebrows, trying to blink away his sleepiness. I nodded in response, “Oh, and what were you guys doing?”

    “Just chatting,” Johan answered, “Oh, this morning, Fah gave Phoon a morning kiss in front of us.” Hearing this, Arthit immediately looked surprised.

    “Huh? Really, Tonfah, you did that?” Before I could answer, Arthit continued, “So, you’ve become another one of those wife-addicts, huh? I’m really fed up, all of you are blind with love.”    “Well, you don’t have one,” Johan said.

    “That’s good,” Hill spoke up, “Arthit is better off without one, I feel sorry for him.”

    “Tch,” Arthit grumbled softly in annoyance.

    Before we could talk any further, the food was brought out. Mine and Phoon’s was tonkatsu, just as Phoon had asked when we went shopping. Ter and North had made different dishes for Johan and Hill.

       “Hey, where’s mine?” Arthit asked, noticing there was no food for him.

    “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming,” North answered, “I’ll go get you some more.”

    “Arthit, go get it yourself,” Johan commanded.

    “Yeah,” Arthit said before getting up to leave. Meanwhile, we started our breakfast. Phoon seemed eager, watching as I took my first bite. Truth be told, I think Phoon is actually quite good at cooking; if he keeps practicing, he’ll only get better.

    “How is it?” Phoon asked excitedly.

    “It’s delicious.”

    “Really?”

    “Really,” I said with a smile, genuinely delicious for someone cooking for the first time, it’s pretty good. Phoon gave a broad, adorable smile. I couldn’t help but gently ruffle his hair. After that, we continued eating together.

    Typhoon

       I took care of washing the dishes after everyone had finished their meal, with North and Ter helping as usual. At first, Phii Fah said he would help, but of course, we didn’t let him; we would do it ourselves.

    “Today is your birthday, Phoon,” North suddenly remembered,

    “Why don’t you look excited at all?”

    “I don’t know why I should be excited. On your birthday, you didn’t seem excited either.”

    “True, you’re twenty-one now, right?”

    “Yeah, but I feel like I’m still a kid.”

    “Well, today we have to go out, take lots of pictures as a memory, like a birthday trip for you,” Ter said, “Do you have a trip plan yet?”    “Not yet,” I shook my head, “Can you guys help me look? I’m scared I’ll plan something that’s not good.”

    “You try first, we’ll wash the dishes,” North said. I nodded, wiped my wet hands, and took out my phone to check, but first, I saw a notification pop up. It was a chat from Daotok. I quickly opened it.

    SS: Happy Birthday, cat

       SS: Sent an image

       It was a picture of me in watercolor. Of course, Daotok must have drawn it himself; there was his signature at the bottom right with the date.

    “Guys, look at this,” I said excitedly, quickly showing it off to North and Ter.

    “Wow, it’s beautiful,” North was stunned when he saw the picture I showed.

    “So cute, he drew it for you,” Ter said.

    “Yeah, it’s cute,” before I quickly typed back a big thank you and saved the picture immediately, “Whoever has Daotok as a boyfriend must be insanely lucky.”

    “Why’s that?” North asked, “His spirit is strong; he can see ghosts, you know.”

    “It’s just a minor thing. No one would take offense,” I said.

    “Minor my ass, you freak, he saw ghosts!”

    “You’re just too scared, North. Besides, didn’t Dao say it was just a slight touch?” I raised an eyebrow, looking at North who was wideeyed with panic, “Right, Ter?”

    “How can someone who only works all day have a girlfriend?” Ter pondered, making me think too, “If Dao is going to get a girlfriend, she better be a good person. I’m not worried about Phoon since he’s with Phii Fah, just Foam and Daotok left.”    “Yeah, how’s Foam doing?” North asked.

    “What do you think? He got tricked by a girl again,” Ter replied, which made North burst out laughing while also feeling sorry for Foam.

    “Oh, poor Foam.”

    “I wish there was someone to look after Dao too,” I added, “but it seems like he’s not that interested.”

    “Yeah,” North nodded in agreement, “Can we pay off the motorcycle first, like the ‘Ghost Rider’ said?” North imitated Daotok.

    Me and Ter couldn’t help but laugh because it was spot on; Dao often gives this kind of response when we ask if he’s thinking about finding someone.

    “After paying off the motorcycle, it’ll be time to save for rent,” Ter teased, “We haven’t even paid the electric bill yet, girlfriend? What about the water bill? Tomorrow’s the work deadline too.”

    “Life is a struggle, I really like it, what’s the big deal?” North said. I smiled along, then remembered we still had to plan our sightseeing.

    “Should we get back to planning today’s trip?”

    “Come on, I’ll help search; I’m a first-class guide.”    The three of us worked together to look up information about sightseeing for a while, completely forgetting that the doctors were waiting. Once we had a rough idea, we moved to the living room area, only to find the three doctors had fallen asleep on the sofa, except for Phii Arthit who must have gone back to his room.

       I couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front of me. I genuinely felt grateful to Khun Phii Fah for bringing me to Japan despite being so tired, especially after not sleeping much during the exam week. Then, I quickly pulled out my phone to take a picture.

       It wasn’t just me; North and Ter took pictures too. The three of us tried to suppress our laughter to not wake them up.

       So cute.

    Really, really cute. Look, Phii Fah was sitting on the big sofa, arms crossed, leaning back and dozing off, with Phii Jo next to him in the same pose. Meanwhile, Phii Hill was on the single sofa.    But before we could take the picture, they opened their eyes and woke up, making the three of us barely able to put our phones away in time.

       “What are you guys doing?” Phii Fah asked.

    “Uh…nothing,” I said, stammering. North nudged me with his elbow, as if to say I wasn’t slick at all, before Phii Jo and Phii Hill stood up.

    “Let’s go, see you in an hour.”

    “Okay,” Phii Fah replied. Phii Jo dragged North out of the room, and Ter was led out by Phii Hill, “Phoon.”

    “Ye…yes?”

    “Come here,” Phii Fah said, standing up to gently take my wrist, leading me into the bedroom. I followed in a daze, “Close your eyes.”

    “Huh?”

    “Close your eyes for a moment.” I slowly closed my eyes as he said, even though I didn’t quite understand. Then I felt something heavy being hung around my neck, “It’s a bit heavy, isn’t it?”

    I reached up to feel it and immediately knew it was a camera, so I opened my eyes in excitement.

       This camera is!!!

       “This…this is…”

    “Happy birthday to my wonderful person, now twenty-one. I wish every day from now on to be a good day for you Typhoon. No matter what you hope for, may it be fulfilled. I will always support you.”

    “…”

    “And here’s your gift. Thank you for being the best thing in my life.”

    “…hic.” For some reason, tears suddenly welled up, and I couldn’t help but start sobbing. I tried to hold back by pressing my lips together, but it was no use because so many emotions were flooding out from inside.

    It’s not just about the gifts.

       Yesterday with my mom was great, and other things too.

       Everything has been wonderful.

       “Hic…Th-thank you, thank you,” I let the tears flow, and Phii Fah gently hugged me to comfort me. After a moment, I stopped crying.

    Because these weren’t tears of sadness like they had been for many years.

    They were tears of happiness that I hope would last forever.

    “Thank you, really thank you.”

    “You’re welcome,” Phii Fah smiled warmly at me and gently wiped away my tears, our faces just centimeters apart. I was captivated and fell in love with those eyes all over again.

    I slowly moved my face closer, softly pressing my lips against his.

    Phii Fah seemed slightly surprised before kissing me back.

    His strong hand reached around my waist, lifting me so he wouldn’t have to bend down. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and when Phii Fah lifted me, I leaned down to kiss him. Our lips touched, turning into the familiar taste of a kiss.

       Sweet, fragrant, and tender, just like every time.

       Phii Fah placed me on the table. I was slightly startled, opening my eyes in surprise as he kissed me deeply. Soon, his warm tongue invaded, exploring everywhere, my eyes tightly shut as his warm breath tickled my ear. One of Phii Fah’s hands pushed the back of my head closer as if feeling we were not close enough.

       It felt like all the energy was being sucked out of me, my heart beating faster and faster, almost like it was going to explode, the emptiness in my stomach rising. I was breathing heavily, my chest heaving, but the intense rhythm of the kiss didn’t stop, showing no signs of slowing down. He kissed harder until it hurt.

       More than ten minutes passed.

       “…More.”

    Phii Fah slowly withdrew from the kiss as if he didn’t want to let go. I gradually opened my eyes to meet those beautiful eyes again.    I was slightly startled when Phii Fah suddenly pressed his thumb against my lips. Even though it wasn’t hard, I was surprised by the pain.

    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rough.”

    “…Uh, did my lip split?”

    “Yes, sorry about that.”

    “…” I felt numb both inside and out, still feeling like Phii Fah was kissing me. I tried to calm my heart, “Is it…very split?”    “Just a little,” Phii Fah smiled.

    “I…I’ll go change,” I quickly said with a shaky voice, still embarrassed from what just happened. Phii Fah seemed to understand and gave a satisfied smile. I walked past him, picked up a shirt, set the camera down on the table, and went straight to the bathroom.    Looking in the mirror, I saw my face was very red, so red I thought I might be sick. My lips were also red and swollen, with a slight cut on my lower lip that was bleeding a little.

       Ah…why was it so intense?

       I took off my shirt to shower, and seeing the red marks on my shoulder reminded me of the evening when Phii Fah left those marks.

    That’s when I was about to turn towards the shower.    Wait…

       These marks…

       Where did they come from?!

       There were red bruises on the back, just below the shoulder, and there were quite a few of them.

       Phii Fah!

       This is insane! Don’t tell me it was while I was asleep!

       After the shower, I quickly got dressed and went out to confront the suspect, no, the accused.

    “Phii Fah,” I called out. Phii Fah, who was playing with his phone, looked up at me with a smile as if nothing had happened, “I found more marks.”    “What kind of marks?”

    “Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

    “You won’t see them once you put on a shirt.”

    “That’s not the point at all,” I said with a pout, and then Phii Fah stopped smiling, which made me feel uneasy.

    “Go change your shirt,” said the person sitting on the bed in a low voice. I paused for a moment.

    “But this shirt is fine, isn’t it?” I said, looking down at my own shirt, a black one I had just bought, but it didn’t show much, just a regular tshirt.

    Phii Fah didn’t respond, instead, he walked closer, pulled me up a bit, and bent down to kiss my neck where the shirt didn’t cover. I felt a sharp pain immediately, making me frown and tense up.

       “You can’t wear this shirt anymore,” he said with a sly smile, while I wanted to protest but was too embarrassed to say anything, so I had to go find another shirt to change into. In the end, I wore another regular t-shirt along with a long-sleeve shirt that Phii Fah had bought for me back when we were still writing letters to each other.

    The first gift Phii Fah ever gave me.

    “I’ve never seen you wear it before, I thought you forgot about it,” Phii Fah commented as I walked back into the bedroom.

    “I wear it on special occasions, like today, for my birthday,” I said before Phii Fah went to shower and get dressed. While waiting, I took the opportunity to test my new camera thoroughly. It was a camera many photographers dream of, with its high price, KhunPha had to match the cost. From the moment I saw it, I fell in love with it, both for its external design and its capabilities.

       I tried out various angles in the room with the camera, thinking that today, this would be the one to capture the day’s photos. I needed to get used to it quickly.

       Soon, Phii Fah came out of the bathroom, fully dressed. Normally, Phii Fah wears shirts or t-shirts with jeans and Tiger sneakers; even with just that, he looks very good. I’ve never seen Phii Fah style his hair, guessing it’s not his style, but today he was wearing a jacket too.

       “Secretly taking photos again, huh?” the person I was secretly photographing turned around and asked after I took the opportunity to snap a picture when Phii Fah turned to grab something.

    “Just a little, it’s a new camera,” I smiled broadly.

    “Can’t help it, having a photographer for a boyfriend.”

    “Yeah, it’s really unavoidable.”

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 35: Beautiful Eye

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 35: Beautiful Eye

       Tonfah

       “You really said that?”

    “…I, I see.”

    I looked at the person next to me, who tried to turn away to hide his blushing face, but it was probably not very effective because his ears were red too. I couldn’t help but smile affectionately.

       Why are you so good at being shy?

       I looked in the mirror and saw Hill and Ter sitting in the back seat.

    In reality, after dropping off the younger ones here, we didn’t go anywhere else. We just took our stuff to the hotel and rested because we had just finished our mid-term exams. The accumulated fatigue and stress made me feel very exhausted. Actually, Phoon had told me to rest first, but if I didn’t hurry, there would be no time left. Waiting until the semester ends would be impossible.

       Normally, after finishing exams like this, I would sleep like the dead, but this time, I couldn’t sleep.

       Maybe because there’s no cat to cuddle.

       It has become a habit to sleep while hugging Phoon. Without him, no matter how tired I am, I can’t sleep, even though I usually fall asleep easily, especially on stressful days. No matter how heavy the burden, just coming back to hug Phoon tightly and smell the faint, personal scent, it feels like all the exhaustion goes away.

       “How are you feeling?” I asked.

    “I’m good, really good. When I get back, I will tell you all about it in detail,” Phoon turned to say with a happy smile. I already thought it must be good, but seeing Phoon smile like this made me think it was well worth bringing him along.

    “Okay, I’ll wait to hear it,” I said, reaching out to gently stroke his head. Phoon smiled sweetly back at me. I don’t know if other people’s cats like their heads stroked, but my cat loves it.

    Because every time I feel affectionate, I like to stroke his head, but if he’s grumpy, he’ll pinch my cheek instead, or if he’s even grumpier…well, forget it.

    I withdrew my hand, then started the car and drove off.

    “Hey, Phoon, tomorrow’s your birthday, what do you want to do?” Ter asked.

    “Uh…I don’t know, what should we do?”

    “We’re in Japan, want to celebrate?”

    “You always want to celebrate even when we’re in Thailand.”

    “Tomorrow morning we need to go buy you a birthday present.”

    “Actually, you don’t have to, it’s too much trouble for you.”

    “That’s how it is, huh?”

    “Yeah, that’s how it is. We’re here to travel, and you want to go buy me a present too. It won’t be as fun that way.”

    “Alright, we’ll do it later then.”

    “No matter what, you want to make sure he’s comfortable, right?”

    “Absolutely.”

    Tomorrow is Phoon’s birthday. I’m not good at surprises at all, so I don’t think there will be any surprises. Tomorrow, I’ll probably take him out for some fun and then treat him to a celebratory meal. As for the gift, I’ve already prepared it.

    We stopped for dinner before heading back to the hotel. We didn’t stop anywhere else because the younger ones told us to go rest. We booked four rooms at the hotel: mine with Phoon, then Ter with Hill, Jo with North, and Arthit, who just went straight to sleep when he arrived. I don’t know if he’s had dinner yet, so I bought an extra set to take back.

    I dropped off dinner for Arthit before going back to my room. This time, I didn’t sleep as soundly as before because this hotel is close to my mother’s house and it’s the best option. I didn’t want to stay somewhere far away.

    I walked in to see Phoon sitting on the bed, looking through his bag. I took the opportunity to hug him from behind and steal a kiss on his cheek. The little one seemed slightly startled; I saw his ears slowly turn red before he turned to look at me.

    “Tell me about today for me, please.”

    “Sure.”

    I slowly let go of the hug, sat in the middle of the bed, and Phoon sat opposite me. Then, he started telling me everything in detail, starting from when he entered the house.

    “And North had a big argument with Daiki; he’s twenty years old, going at it with an eight-year-old, I don’t know why.” I smiled because Phoon made a big frown, “But having North and Ter there was good. I didn’t feel too uncomfortable.”

    “Ter and North came along for that reason. They didn’t want Phoon to feel uncomfortable,” I said, “They really care about Phoon.”

    “I know, so I really appreciate them.”

    “It’s great to have friends like that,” I said. I genuinely felt thankful for Phoon’s friends who are good to him, including his mother, because Phoon is such a good person; he deserves all this, “Phoon is really kind, isn’t he?”

    “Is that so?” Phoon asked back, not quite believing what I said.

    “Really, you are very kind. There aren’t many people who would be happy when their parents remarry and also love their step-siblings like this.”

    “Oh…really?” Phoon was silent for a moment, “It’s because of you and Fan.”

    “Huh? Why is that?” I asked.

    “Because I am like this, it’s because you and Fan taught me to be like this when he was young. I only hung out with you and Fan, because you are kind, Fan is also kind, so I…became kind like you said, I guess.”

    “Oh…” I nodded in understanding, “Did you ask your mom about the gift?” I asked, and Phoon paused.

    “Uh…I forgot.”

    “…”

    “I forgot, I was too busy talking about myself, what should we do?” Phoon started to look a bit flustered.

    “It’s okay, we can ask later. We’ll be in touch anyway,” I said.

    “…Okay.”

    “Actually, I didn’t just talk to your mom,” I told the truth because I had actually talked with his mom for quite a while. Not just what I had told Phoon before. There just wasn’t time to go into details. The person in front of me seemed to get more interested immediately.

    “So, what else did you talk about?”

    “I think…your mom and Phoon are very similar.”

    “…Really?”

    “Yes, because you didn’t talk much, so I can’t say a lot, but I think that part of why you is so kind is because of your mom, since she seems kind and gentle too,” I said what I thought, and the other person listened intently, “Plus, they look very similar, especially the eyes.”    “Uh…I didn’t know that.” Phoon said, making a thoughtful face.

    “Yes, your mom’s eyes are really beautiful.”

    Phoon paused for a moment before slowly looking up at me, his face showing confusion for just a second, then his sweet face started to turn red.

    “So I told her thank you for giving you such beautiful eyes.”

    “Thank you for giving such a beautiful and bright smile too.”

    “Thank you for being gentle and strong, which makes you the same way. Thank you for enduring the hardship, thank you for deciding to keep this child more than twenty years ago.”

    “…”

    “And that’s why there’s Typhoon for me to love like this every day.”

    Typhoon

       “…” I stayed silent, not daring to look up at him because those words, which sounded like compliments, made my heart beat even faster than it already was, not to mention the words from earlier.

    Having me for Phii Fah to love…

       Ah…this is dangerous again.

       “…Is that all?”

    “About that, and then it’s the promise that I made.”

    “Oh…” The promise that Phii Fah made must refer to what he told my mother about taking care of and protecting me. Thinking about it still makes me blush. The fact that Phii Fah said that to my mother is very significant to me, “Thank you for making that promise.”

    “Then come here for a hug.”

    “It’s your reward, you have worked hard.” I didn’t say anything before moving closer, being embraced by him, with my face resting against his chest while he leaned back against the head of the bed. He gently pressed the tip of his nose against my shoulder, making me feel a slight tickle, “You smell nice.”

    “…I can’t smell anything,” I said truthfully; I’ve never been able to smell myself since I was born, “What does it smell like?”

    “It’s the scent of you. I don’t know. There’s no perfume that smells like this.”

    “There might be.”

    “If there is, tell me, and I will buy it all out,” Phii Fah said softly,

    “and I’ll also order them to stop production.”

    “…That might be going too far,” I said my words stuttering, then I felt his large hand reach out to hold mine. I then held his hand with my other hand. Phii Fah’s hands were so soft, and his fingers were beautiful too, “Can you write with both hands?”

    “Yes, why?”

    “I want to be able to write with both hands too.”    “It’s not necessary,” I said.

    “Then why do you have to practice writing with his right hand?

    Really, being left-handed isn’t that much of a hassle.”

    “Hmm, when I write a lot and your hand gets tired, I can switch hands. Besides, it’s annoying because writing on the left side at a lecture desk is difficult,” I explained.

    “Oh, right, that’s true. I hate lecture desks the most, it’s not fair at all. Not everyone in the world is right-handed, why make only one type of lecture desk?” I grumbled, because it’s true, it always makes things hard for me when I have to study in rooms with those desks.

    “Once you start studying photography, you probably won’t encounter them much, maybe they won’t focus much on taking lecture notes,” he said.

    “Do you know what they study in photography?”

    “I don’t know, but I have friends who study photography. Should I ask them for you?”

    “Please do, I want to know.”

    “What will I get in return?”

    “…Phii Fah, have you picked up Phii Jo’s business habits?”    I asked, remembering that North once told me that whenever you ask Phii Jo for something, there’s always something in return. Lately, Phii Fah has started doing the same.

    “Not to that extent. Just want a little profit,” Phii Fah said with a sly tone. I frowned even though the other couldn’t see, this one is the master of teasing. I tried to calm myself down for a moment before straightening up and turning to face him.    No matter how many times…I never get used to it.

       Because I was sitting on my knees, I was at the same eye level as Phii Fah. He gave a slight smile, as if waiting to see what I would do next.

       “Ugh…I will look it up myself,” I said, embarrassed to the point of not being able to bear it anymore, intending to turn away but Phii Fah held me back. “Ah!” He easily made me sit on his lap, and before I knew it, our faces were only an inch apart.

    “Mmm~” Then his thick lips gently pressed down, and his warm tongue slowly invaded with a gentle yet persistent touch, a kiss that was both tender and emphasizing the sensation as he often does. It wasn’t forceful but made my heart flutter in an indescribable way. I slowly closed my eyes, accepting those sweet sensations.

    Every time our tongues touched, it sent a gentle warmth spreading across my chest. Our hands were clasped together, our warm breaths mingling, along with hearts that always beat strongly in moments like these.

    Phii Fah let go of one of his hands and moved it up to press against the back of my neck, pulling us closer. The heat from his body made me feel even warmer.

    It was both gentle and warm, almost melting me.

    “Umm…” I heard a somewhat embarrassing sound when our tongues intertwined. My breathing quickened because my heart was racing too, but I could still catch my breath since the kiss wasn’t too intense, until he increased the passion of the kiss.

    “Ugh…” He pressed my neck closer, his tongue exploring my mouth, alternating between nibbling my upper and lower lips. His other hand let go and started to wander again, the warmth from his hand beginning at the small of my back under my shirt, caressing all over my back. With that touch, I felt a hollow feeling in my stomach.

    It wasn’t long before I started to struggle for breath, and as if he sensed it, Phii Fah slowly pulled away from the kiss, releasing both his hands. I slowly opened my eyes to see his beautiful eyes looking back at me.

       No matter how many times I look,

       It feels like there’s a galaxy in those eyes,    Drawing my gaze irresistibly.

       He leaned down to kiss my shoulder and neck. I felt a slight sting, indicating he had left another red mark on me. Fortunately, all the marks Phii Fah leaves are hidden under my clothes. Only sometimes does he forget himself and leave a mark in a visible spot, in which case I have to find something to cover it.

       “I’ll ask my friend for you,” Phii Fah said with a satisfied smile.

    “You…cheater, I said I’d look for the information myself.”    “I’ll go take a shower and rest now, tomorrow I’ll take you out for a full day of fun,” Phii Fah stated. I nodded in response because Phii Fah looked tired, and I was also worried and wanted him to rest.

    Before he let go of the embrace and went to shower.

    Left alone on the bed, I pressed my lips together, still feeling the gentle touch from earlier. Every time after we kissed. I liked when he was gentle with me, and that feeling would linger for a long time. While waiting, I picked up my phone, remembering I hadn’t mentioned that I actually took some photos of my mother. It was a pity I didn’t bring my camera to her house, so I only used my phone camera to take the pictures.

    There were pictures of my mother sitting on the balcony, both candid shots where she was looking out into the garden and ones where she smiled at the camera. I decided to post the picture where she was smiling on Instagram.

    With the caption:

    “The most beautiful smile in the world, :)”

       And then Phii Fah’s words echoed in my mind:

    “Thank you for giving him such a beautiful and bright smile.”    Will I smile as brightly as my mom? But if Phii Fah says so, it makes me happy. There’s a picture too, I’ll post them gradually. Now, Phoon’s Instagram isn’t just filled with sky pictures anymore.

    I decided to change my Instagram bio from ‘Sky Collector’ to

    “Happiness Collector.”

       Because from now on, my Instagram will have pictures of me, Phii

    Fah, old pictures of Fan, pictures of Mom with Daiki, pictures of Aunt Prae with Fai, pictures of friends, photos capturing all the happy memories I have. I want to keep them in that memory space.

       But I still love looking at the sky the same way, it’s just that from now on, my happiness isn’t just from looking at the sky. I’m happy to see myself smiling. So, I started posting some pictures of myself, which I’ve never done before.    Fan…

       Right now, I…am the happiest.

       I looked at the picture of Daiki and North, which was amusing, especially since I secretly took it when they were fighting. If I post it on Instagram, what would North say? He’d definitely complain, saying the picture looks funny, and it really does.

       This picture also caught Ter in the frame, who was trying to pick up the toys scattered around because those two were arguing, looking quite annoyed.

       It would have been nice if Daotok and Foam were there too.    Then Phii Fah finished showering. I was still damp, wearing a tshirt and long pants that matched, indicating he was ready for bed even though it was past ten o’clock.    I went to grab the hair dryer.

    “I will dry your hair for you.”

    “Uh, okay,” Phii Fah said before sitting down on the bed. I turned on the dryer and started drying his hair, his naturally black hair. Phii

    Fah hardly ever does anything with his hair, I’ve never seen him style it, I guess he doesn’t care much about it.

    Oh, but I’ve seen Phii Fah style his hair once, in the picture from the university’s Star Moon contest.

    “Phii Fah,” I called out his name after I finished blow-drying his hair, reaching over to put the hairdryer back in the drawer of the bedside table.

    “Yes?”

    “Tell me about the Star Moon contest for Phoon, please.”

    “Why do you want to know about that?”

    “I just want to know, please tell me.”

    “Hmm…at first, the seniors picked me for it. I wasn’t very keen on going, but the seniors pleaded for help, so I had to go. Initially, I thought I wouldn’t make it through.”

    “…you wouldn’t make it?” I raised my eyebrows in confusion. What made him think he wouldn’t make it?

       “Back then, there were Hill, Johan, and Arthit too.”

    “Wow, all of them?”

    “Yes, but Johan and Arthit didn’t want to join. Those two don’t participate in any activities; they’re not even in the senior junior code club.”

    “…” That sounds like Phii Jo and Phii Arthit alright.

    “I didn’t really want to do it, but I had to help the faculty. In the end, it was between me and Hill for the moon title, and we got the same number of votes.”

    “Oh…”

    “At first, they said we should have another round to decide, but I refused. I thought Hill was more suitable for the role, so I let Hill have it. He was complaining big time about why he had to do it, saying he was lazy.”

    “…” So, there’s such a thing too…

    “But Hill is very responsible, so he had to take on the role, and he did it well too.”

    “Was you the runner-up then?”

    “Yes.”

    “What does the runner-up have to do?”

    “I hardly do anything, these kinds of promotions, they call for the faculty moon.”

    “Oh…can I be the moon too?” I asked playfully, thinking about myself when I first joined the faculty, “Actually, when I was at the faculty, some seniors asked me, but I declined, and so did Ter.”    “Do you want to be the moon?” Phii Fah raised his eyebrows to ask.

    “Just asking, that’s all.”

    “You can’t be.”

    “…”

    “Because I won’t let you be,” Phii Fah said, poking my furrowed brows with his finger, revealing a smile.

    “I’m jealous, you know that?”    Jealous…really?

       “Uh…I see,” I didn’t know what else to say. In truth, I’ve never seen

    Phii Fah jealous or possessive, so I never thought he’d be possessive over me.

    “Your face is red again,” Phii Fah teased me a bit. Feeling the heat on my face, I tried to calm myself down, “You can go shower now, so we can go to sleep.”

    “Phii Fahyou can go to sleep first, it’s only just past ten,” I said.

    “Go shower, let’s get ready for bed together.”

    I like the word ‘together,’ like sleeping together, eating together, things like that, it sounds like something we should do together.

       “If you aren’t here, I can’t sleep.”

    “…Uh, okay,” I nodded in understanding, then hurried to grab some clothes and headed to the bathroom. Honestly, can this be called being clingy? I know I’m weak to this, but really, I’m completely weak when it comes to Phii Fah, damn it, Typhoon.

       I took a while to shower before coming out of the bathroom, hanging the towel on the drying rack. I saw Phii Fah playing with his phone, but as soon as he saw me come out, he put his phone down and pulled me into a hug like he often does.

       Before I could say anything, Phii Fah made me lie down and straddled me. I was a bit surprised before his thick lips kissed me again, but only for a moment before he pulled back, moving to hug me from behind instead.

       It was a goodnight kiss…

       “Goodnight,” Phii Fah said softly.

    “Goodnight,” I replied.

    “I love you Phoon, you know.”

    “I love you Phii Fah too.”

    Just the simple words of goodnight and love every night, they might seem ordinary, but I love this unchanging simplicity.    I want this kind of simplicity to stay with me forever.    His large hand still held mine, and the embrace from the other person always made me feel comfortable and safe. Before long, his warm breath was by my neck, and after just a moment, I could tell that Phii Fah had fallen asleep.

    At first, I was surprised at how quickly Phii Fah could fall asleep, but I remembered that he had told me he was naturally a good sleeper. “If you aren’t here, I can’t sleep.”

       …So, does that mean even someone who falls asleep easily like Phii

    Fah can’t sleep without me?

       Thinking about this made me smile unintentionally; I was happy about that because, without Phii Fah’s embrace, I couldn’t sleep either.

       Looking at my phone, it was about half past nine. Maybe in another half hour, I could sleep, to wake up early for more fun tomorrow.    Lying there, thinking about various things, I easily drifted off to sleep

       …

       I woke up around half-past five. This is my usual wake-up time. Every morning when I wake up, I find Phii Fah still holding me just like when we went to sleep. When I wake up like this, I usually just lie there waiting until it’s time to get up because if I get up, Phii Fah wakes up too. I once observed that if I get out of bed, after a while, the arm that was around me starts searching for me, and if it doesn’t find me, Phii Fah wakes up immediately.

       Feeling a bit stiff, I turned to the other side, secretly watching the person sleeping soundly. I’ve always watched Phii Fah sleep ever since we’ve been together, and I’ve never gotten bored of it.

       I don’t know how much time passed. I heard a knock at the door, which forced me to carefully remove the arm that was around me. It seemed like Phii Fah was still asleep. I tiptoed to the door to avoid making noise, peeking through the peephole to see North and Ter. When I opened the door, I saw Phii Hill and Phii Jo leaning against the balcony waiting as well.

    “What’s up?” I asked.

    “Let’s cook.”

    “Huh?”

    “Cook, that’s what,” Ter repeated.

    “I know, but why do you suddenly want to cook?”

    “I don’t know either,” North said, shaking his head slightly,

    “There’s a supermarket that’s open, let’s go buy some ingredients.”

    “And where will we cook?”

    “Can we use your room?” Ter asked. I immediately furrowed my brows.

    “Why does it have to be my room?”

    “Because Phii Fah is kind.”

    “…Really?”

    “Ter’s room won’t work because Phii Hill doesn’t like loud noises, and my room is out because Phii Jo doesn’t like others entering his room. Of course, Phii Arthit’s room is not an option, so it has to be yours,” North whispered. I sighed without realizing it, guessing it was because these two wanted to go shopping. The seniors had no choice but to join in, I suppose.

    “Alright, are we going to buy them now?” I asked, and both nodded in agreement.

    “Should we tell Phii Fah?” Ter asked.

    “Yeah, he looks tired. I don’t really want to wake him up,” I said, “But let’s try asking him first. It’ll be troublesome if we go without telling him. Come in first,” I turned to tell Phii Hill and Phii Jo, and the four of us walked in to sit on the sofa in the room. The two doctors had just woken up, but they still looked good as always. Meanwhile, I was about to go back to the bedroom.

    Suddenly, someone hugged me from behind, making North and Ter look surprised. On the other hand, Phii Hill and Phii Jo didn’t look surprised at all. Before I could react, Phii Fah reached out with one hand to tilt my chin towards him and kissed me gently.

    !!!

    “Why aren’t you in bed?” Phii Fah, still groggy, asked. He probably hadn’t noticed the people waiting. Out of habit, he kissed me as a way of saying good morning, like he does every day.

    “Morning,” I said.

    “Uh…yes.”

    I was flustered, feeling both embarrassed and shy, turning to look at the people waiting. North and Ter were avoiding eye contact with me.

    Meanwhile, Phii Jo and Phii Hill looked surprised.

    “Wow,” Phii Jo started to tease, and Phii Fah looked up, a little surprised to see who was waiting but not really shocked.

    He should be shocked! He just…uh, kissed!

       “Why are you here?” Phii Fah asked.

    “We wanted to invite you to go shopping,” Phii Hill answered,

    “Want to join?”

    “Do you want to go?” Phii Fah turned to ask me instead. I nodded in response, “Let’s go, wait a sec.” Before Phii Fah took my hand back into the room to change clothes, showing no sign of being affected by what had just happened.

       “Uh…Phii Fah, uh, just now…”

    “Hmm? What’s wrong?”

    “Everyone saw…”

    “The morning kiss, you mean?” Phii Fah asked with a smile. I wanted to protest but couldn’t, “It’s okay, don’t think too much about it.”

    “How can I not, it’s embarrassing.”

    “Are you sulking?”

    “Yes, I’m sulking, a lot,” I pretended to be upset, before Phii Fah scooped me up and placed me on the bed in a straddling position over him. I lightly hit him because I was startled.

    “What are you doing?”

    “Making up.”

    “Who makes up like this?”

    “I do,” Phii Fah smiled, “Who made you get out of bed?”

    “It was North and Ter knocking on the door.”

    “Yes.”

    “…Yes?” I gave a puzzled look to the person in front of me, feeling both embarrassed and confused. I had explained it, so why just say

    ‘yes’?

    “Because I already know.”

    “I had to get out of bed because they knocked on the door, so you can’t tease you by doing that!”

    “I wasn’t teasing at all, I really didn’t see them.”    “Really?” I asked again, and Phii Fah smiled.

    “Really, I never tease you.”

    “Number one teaser, that’s you Phii Fah,” I said, frowning at him, which earned me a gentle pinch on the nose.

    “Then let’s say that one didn’t count. We’ll have to do it properly.”

    “Properly?”

    “Yes, a real morning kiss.”

    “Uh, I don’t think so.”

    “A morning kiss, please.”

    “…”

    “Please.”

    See! I told you I’m weak to this.

       I tried to gather the little courage I had because when it comes to kissing or anything like that, I’m rarely the one to initiate. When Phii Fah asks me to do something like this, I usually get too embarrassed to act. With both arms on his shoulders, I slowly leaned in closer.

    Every second our faces moved closer at a slow pace before I closed my eyes, and our lips touched.

       After just a brief moment, I pulled back out of shyness, and Phii Fah smiled in satisfaction.

       “Good morning again.”

    “Ah…Good morning.”

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

  • SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 34: Water Lily

       SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 34: Water Lily

       “Already capable, huh?”

    “…”

    “Are you worried?”

    “Yes.”

    “Do you trust Phii Fah?”    I nodded in response.

    “Then trust Phii Fah, you are already good.”

    “If possible, I’d like you to take the exam for me.”

    “No need, you do better than me.”

    “…How could that be?”

    “Be confident, we’ve done so much preparation. When you did the practice exams, you did very well,” he said, gently stroking my head as he often does. We were now in front of the school where I had to take my entrance exam. I was in my school uniform, and this morning before leaving the room, Phii Fah complimented me saying I looked cute because he had never seen me in a high school uniform before.    My exam is at the end of February, coinciding with everyone’s midterm exams for the second semester, including the doctors. After dropping me off for the exam, Phii Fah would have to go back to study with his friends.

    Since the second semester started, I, who had already dropped out, had only one thing to do: study for the entrance exam for the photography faculty. So there wasn’t much else going on, and today was the day to determine my efforts; one could even call it a lifedeciding day without exaggerating much.

    Almost all the students passing by, especially the female students, kept looking our way, probably because it wasn’t just the beautiful car but also its owner, who was standing there talking to me.    “You haven’t forgotten anything, right? Like your ID card?”

    “Yes, I brought it.”

    “Then I’ll wait here until you go into the exam room.”

    “Are you going to walk me there?”

    “Yes.” And Phii Fah really walked me to the exam building. It wasn’t strange because there were many people sending off or waiting for those taking exams, but Phii Fah probably couldn’t stay long since he had his own exams to study for, which I understood well. Though honestly, even if Phii Fah wanted to wait for me, I wouldn’t agree to it. It would be too hot and boring.

    “Can I see your exam room slip?” I opened my bag and handed him the slip, “You have all your exams in this building, you won’t get lost, right? The front number is the floor number, the back number is the room number.”

    “I won’t get lost. If I do, I can just ask someone around here.”

    “Okay.” Then Phii Fah handed the exam room slip back to me. There was no need to try to notice it; I could feel that we, no, Phii Fah was the center of attention for many people. Even sitting close by, I could feel it.

    Phii Fah stayed until there was an announcement for everyone to go upstairs and wait in front of their exam rooms.

    “I will leave now. I’ll be here at four o’clock sharp to wait for you.”

    “Yes.”

    And then the other person walked away. I entered the building, took off my shoes to hold them like the other students, feeling a bit embarrassed since I’m much older than the younger students and had to take an exam like this. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a school building, and the school where I’m taking the exam isn’t far from the university. I chose this exam venue in this province instead of going back to my old school, which would have been much more difficult.    I placed my bag in front of the exam room, took out my pencils, eraser, and ID card, ready to go in for the exam. After waiting for a short while, the announcement came to enter the exam room. The first subject exam went well. I didn’t do everything perfectly, but I was confident with most of it, and I finished with enough time to review everything once more.

    I’ve taken this kind of exam three times before, the first time in my sixth year of high school, the second when I was preparing to take a gap year before medical school in my first year, and now this third time. This is the only time I’ve managed to finish the exam in time; the previous two times I had to rush through the last questions because I really didn’t have enough time. Maybe it’s because I’ve practiced a lot with old exam papers and timed myself.

    The first day of exams was over. When I came down from the building, I saw Phii Fah waiting as promised.

    “How did it go?”

    “Good, it went well. I didn’t expect to do so well, and I finished on time too,” I started telling him excitedly about today’s exam, as I didn’t expect it to go so smoothly. Then we went to have lunch.

    “Do you have to go for more tutoring?” I asked.

    “Yes, do you want to rest or come along?”

    “Hmm…yeah, I’ll come along,” I said, because North and Ter were also there, it would be better to go and watch them study rather than staying in the room with nothing to do.

    “How did you do, you took the first exam, right?”

    “It was good, I managed.”

    “My student will definitely pass. All that teaching didn’t go to waste, did any of what I taught come out in the exam?” North asked.

    “No.”

    “None at all?”

    “I don’t know, I haven’t taken the other exams yet.”

    “Damn,” North immediately looked disappointed at me, “But you’ll pass anyway, just chill.”

    “How was it when you took your exams?” I asked while sitting down next to Ter. We were now at the same café as before. The seniors were sitting at one table, while we were at the Japanese-style table.

    “Well…it was shit.”

    “I didn’t.”

    “It uses the O-NET exam, I applied in the last round.”

    “Oh, so you didn’t do well on the O-NET?”

    “You could say it was terrible, so bad that my teachers thought I was bringing down the school’s average, but I still got into engineering somehow. Maybe I’m just too handsome,” North’s words made Ter let out a big sigh, even though he was still looking at the study sheet in his hand, “Why the sigh, Ter? My handsomeness is troubling you, huh. It’s okay, I understand, I’m annoyed by it sometimes too.”    “…North, what’s with you today, complimenting yourself all day.

    Hasn’t anyone praised you lately?” Ter furrowed his brows to ask.    “Yeah. I don’t know either,” North said, picking up my green tea cup before I could stop him, and he had already drunk half of it. I looked at my green tea cup in confusion, why did the water disappear so quickly?

    “So, how’s it going with your mom?” Ter asked, because it had been nearly two months since I got her information.

    “Yeah. No updates, it’s been ages.”

    “I said I’d contact her after the exam.”

    “Oh,” North and Ter nodded, because I had to take the entrance exam during this period. If I contacted my mom now, no matter what the outcome, it would affect my emotions significantly. If my mom was okay with meeting me, my mind wouldn’t be focused, or if she wasn’t, it would make me very sad. So, I discussed with Phii Fah that I would contact her after the exam.

    “That’s good, it’s just a few more days until your exam is over, right?”

    “Yes, just a few more days.”

    “How will you contact her?”

    “Maybe…have someone look for her.”

    “Huh? How?”

    “Like, I can’t just go there directly, right? So, I’ll send someone first. She doesn’t have a personal phone, just a home number. There are no other contact methods like social media, LINE, email, or anything.”    “Yeah, that’s true, but going there directly, how will you do it?”    “I heard that during the day, on non-holidays, her husband is at work, and Daiki is at school. Maybe I’ll approach her during that time.”

    “Approach her, huh, but isn’t it scary to just show up out of nowhere?”

    “I will go in a friendly way.”

    “Will you go straight to the house? What will the neighbors think?”

    “Disguise as a salesman.”

    “Yeah, that could work,” North said, nodding in agreement, “But who are we sending?”

    “Don’t know, but it seems like Phii Fah will handle it.”    “Uh, good, you should write a letter to attach with it, stating the purpose that you want to meet,” Ter suggested. I nodded in agreement.

    “I’ve already written it.”

    “You need to end it with ‘with love from your son’ too.”

    “…Will that be good?”

    “Trust me.”

    “…Uh.”

    To: Ms. Yuri Nakamura

       Hello, first of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Theerapat Chawankawi, nickname Typhoon, age 20. It’s very difficult for me to say this. According to the information and evidence I’ve received, you are my mother. I don’t know if you’ll be okay with what’s happening now, but I truly want to say that I’m glad to finally know who my real mother is.

       I only found out a few years ago that I was not the biological child of the mother who raised me. When my older sister passed away, my parents had already divorced.

       I’ve always been a child who wanted to know who my real mother was, but I didn’t know where to look. I only knew about the gifts sent every year on my birthday, with ‘To Ren’ written on the box. I hope that was from you.

       If that’s true, I’m glad that you still think of me. I truly am. I’ve never been angry that you weren’t with me, no matter the reason. I’ve never been angry, really. I’ve always hoped that you were somewhere in this world and living happily.

       I must apologize for taking the liberty to look into your information. I know you have a new family now. I hope they treat you well.

       I used to be sad that I didn’t even have a name given by my mother, but if that name was really mine, I don’t know if I could be the ‘Ren’ you had hoped for. I’m not someone to be proud of, sometimes even disappointing, but I have many stories I want to share. At the very least, could you tell me what kind of ‘Ren’ my mother had imagined, and if I could be that person?

       All I want to say in this letter is that I’m doing well. I’ve found someone who loves me. I have friends. I have people around me who genuinely care for me. I have dreams and life goals I want to achieve. If there’s ever a time when my mother wonders if I’m okay, I am doing well, please don’t worry.

       If my mother doesn’t want to meet me, that’s okay too. I just wanted to let her know this much.

       I hope that every day from now on, my mother has nothing but smiles.

       I hope Daiki is a good kid and grows up strong.

       Yours truly,

       Theerapat Chaowankavee, Typhoon (Ren)

      

    At first, I wondered if my mom could read Thai since she hasn’t been in Thailand for so long, but Phii Fah said he would translate it into Japanese.

    “Have you finished writing?”

    “Yeah…I have, with a few tears from Phoon.”

    “It’s okay.”

    “Do you think my mom will read my letter?”

    “She will read it. The one who sends gifts every year does so because she misses you, right? Don’t overthink it,” Phii Fah said before gently stroking my head to comfort me.

    I don’t know if it’s good or not, but I also sent a gift for my mother, a small handmade good luck charm from me. I don’t know if it will bring luck, but it’s filled with my prayers.

       I wanted to send something with it, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay, if my mother would be okay with it, so I didn’t send it yet.

       After I sent the gift and the letter, nearly a month passed without any response, but the letter and gift did reach my mother.

       “…Did he say he would contact you back?”

    “Yes, Phoon should give your mother some time.”

    “…He probably doesn’t want to see Phoon.”

    “Don’t think negatively like that,” before Phii Fah pulled me into a hug. During the one month when there was no response from her, I was completely disheartened, and Phii Fah could only comfort me.

    Deep down, I had somewhat prepared myself for it.

    Until three days later…

    “There’s a letter sent back.”

    “!!” I was shocked and immediately ran to Phii Fah. When I saw something in Phii Fah’s hand, my heart started beating faster.    “Your mother just sent it back,” Phii Fah handed it to me. I quickly took it and opened it. It was a letter with a small gift, but what I was interested in was the letter. I opened it immediately; it was written with a pencil on paper, the handwriting clearly showing the writer was not adept at Thai. It was just a short message, guessing that my mother isn’t very good at writing Thai, and there were spelling mistakes, but I could understand the meaning.

    It must be because my mother doesn’t have a mobile phone and doesn’t know how to use the internet, so she didn’t know how to find the right words, but she still tried to write.

    …Ren

       Mom thi-n-ks about you

       Will wait to see you    Mom…

       “…” Tears slowly started to fall. I wiped them away before handing the small piece of paper to Phii Fah. He took it and gave a faint smile.

    “That’s good, isn’t it?”

    “Yes,” I burst into a wide smile, feeling overjoyed and touched, not crying but just letting a few tears fall. Then I turned my attention to the gift that came with it, finding it to be some sweets in a box along with a card written in Japanese, “What does this say?”    “…Uh, it probably means she made them herself, enjoy them.”    I looked at the sweets in the box. I thought they must be manju, and there were quite a lot of them. I quickly picked one up to eat and found it quite delicious, so I let Phii Fah try one too. Phii Fah tasted one and said it was good, but since he doesn’t really like sweets, he only ate one.

       I’m not that into sweets either, but I can eat them if offered, and because of the joy that they were made by my mother, I ended up eating half of them alone. I’ll share the rest with the others later.

       “I am going to meet my mother soon. I’m so excited.”

    “Let’s go together once Phii Fah clears his schedule.”

    “Sure, but where is Mom’s house? Does Phii Fah know?”

    “Osaka.”

    “And do we need to make an appointment before going? Did she say anything else?”

    “She said we can come to the house anytime because her husband knows. Just let them know beforehand which day we’ll come so they can prepare. You can contact them through the home phone.”    “…Wow,” I said, feeling dumbfounded. So, her new husband knows Mom had a child before, and he’s okay with it, even allowing us to visit their home. That’s amazing, so kind. “How many days will we go?”

    “We can’t stay long. I have to study, so we’ll visit your mom for a day and maybe have a day or two to explore.”

    “Oh, thank you so much. Not only are you helping my mom, but you’re also taking me to see her.”

    “Sure,” Phii Fah smiled in acknowledgment of the thanks and gently patted my head.    “You are so kind.”

    “Me?”

    “Yes, but I guess many people have complimented you before.”    “Not really, with others, it’s just normal,” Phii Fah said, “but for you, I would do anything.” Those words made me smile shyly.

    Because Phii Fah wasn’t lying.

       Phii Fah would do anything for me, just like how I would do anything for him.

       I’m not sure if what Daotok said about it being true love is true, but if it is, that’s great…if not, it doesn’t matter because having each other right now is the best thing ever, better than wondering if it’s true love.

    Because it’s Phii Fah, because it’s me, here together. Nothing could be better than this.

       Three days have passed, and my friend still hasn’t stopped smiling.

       “Give me some of that.”

    “Yeah, give me some,” I said. We’re at the airport now, getting ready to go to Japan. After I told everyone about this, they got really excited and happy, saying they wanted to come too because they had some free time and wanted to visit my mom and go sightseeing together. “And have you finished eating the manju?”

    “Ter ate them all the day you brought them, even snatched them from me. I was so mad.”

    “You were just too slow, speed is the devil’s trait.”

    “It’s the trait of a glutton, you mean.”

    “North!”

    “What? You weren’t satisfied with stealing mine, you even took from the little ghost, too. It’s just a tiny thing, and you still go after it.” North said, Ter immediately made a displeased face looking at North.

    Honestly, it wasn’t that surprising; Ter has always been a big eater.

    “It was delicious, and I was hungry.”

    “You’re hungry all day. Seriously, did you die of malnutrition in your past life or something? How can you be this famished?” I couldn’t help but laugh at North’s words.

    “Yeah, right, it’s like you’ve been starving since your past life.” “Even your cat thinks I’m a glutton,” Ter immediately pouted. “Joking, come on,” I said, reaching out to playfully twist Ter’s cheek as if comforting a child.

    “Give me a KitKat to make up for it.”

    “Can you stop thinking about food for just one minute?” North said, making an annoyed face immediately. “I know why the little ghost is so thin, it’s because you’re always snatching its food, right Ter?

    Confess.”

    “It wasn’t me! Dao left some, and I ate it because I felt bad for wasting it.”

    “You were staring at it while it ate, so it thought you were hungry and left some for you.”

    “That’s not true! I was just looking, not staring!”

    “I’ve found the culprit behind the little ghost’s hospital visits.”

    “I told you it wasn’t me, I’m not guilty.”

    “Enough, you guys,” I interjected. They weren’t really fighting, just teasing each other, but it was still quite headache-inducing.

    “And, did you invite Dao?” Ter asked.

    “I invited him, but Dao said he wasn’t free.”

    “Always, so I pretend to be upset,” North said.

    “Why be upset? He’s working,” I said. Initially, I invited Foam and

    Dao, but both declined. Foam said his family wouldn’t allow it, and Dao said he was busy with work.

    “What’s so hard about it? Working to buy new equipment, then using the new equipment to work,” North started complaining. Lately, he’s been constantly complaining about Dao working non-stop without taking a break. At first, he seemed brighter because he was practicing meditation, but over time, he ended up like overcooked dumplings again. “I’m getting annoyed just thinking about it. I’ll sneak in and break his computer.”    “It’s good that you’re concerned.”

    “Come on. If I weren’t concerned, why would I complain? And he doesn’t even listen to me, that bastard Dao.”

    “Why get so angry about it?”

    “He went to the hospital last time. Next time he goes in, I’ll put chili in his IV.”

    “That’s harsh, really harsh,” I said, laughing. North really does care, that’s why he gets so mad, but I don’t know why he’s still so likable.    If I had another two or three months, I might go study Japanese, but I don’t have that much time, so I didn’t enroll. I’m not sure how I’ll talk to Mom. When she was in Thailand for more than two years, she might have been able to speak some Thai, but it’s been a while now.

       “Can your mom speak Thai?” North asked.

    “I don’t know, maybe she can, at least she used to. Otherwise, how would she talk to Dad?”

    “Your dad might speak Japanese.”

    “Yeah, I don’t know about that,” I said. I’m also not sure if Dad can speak Japanese.

    “And where are you meeting your mom?”

    “Right at her house.”

    “Really? Her new husband doesn’t mind?”

    “…It seems Mom told me that her new husband knows, and it’s fine.”

    “Wow, that makes it easy then,” Ter said, “You’ll get to meet the stepdad too.”

    “Hmm,” I said with a smile, in truth, we had already made plans to meet Mom in Japan around the afternoon. She mentioned that she would prepare snacks for everyone. Of course, I didn’t talk to Mom directly; I had someone else relay the message. I was planning to meet her directly.

    “Smiling again, Phoon, you haven’t stopped smiling. Don’t your cheeks hurt?”

    “When I’m happy, what’s the problem?” I stopped smiling and turned to North.

    “Look away, it’s creepy, your eyes are all dreamy, looking at nothing, and then you smile again.” Now, besides us, there were also our seniors, which included Phii Fah, Phii Hill, Phii Jo, and Phii Arthit.

    Phii Arthit said he was just coming along but would go sightseeing by himself before meeting back with us.

    “I’ve never been to Japan,” North said. I raised my eyebrows and looked at him.

    “Really? I thought you had been.”

    “No, Phii Jo only took me to Europe, kind of skipped a step. Now with the cherry blossom season in Japan, it’s supposed to be beautiful,” North said while looking at his phone, which had information about Japan displayed. “I’m excited for my first trip to

    Japan, so I’ve prepared.”

    “How so?”

    “I studied the language.”

    “Really?” I looked at him in almost disbelief at what I’d just heard.

    “Yeah.”

    “How did you study?”

    “Watched anime with Thai subtitles, binged twenty-four episodes in a row.”

    “Spit.”

    “Let’s go,” Phii Fah spoke up. I immediately stood up; I was so caught up talking with them that I forgot to check the time. Then, the seven of us boarded the plane together, and with our seniors along, don’t expect economy class seats. It was definitely first class. I sat in my seat, which was a pair, with Phii Fah next to me. To my left were North and Phii Jo, then Phii Arthit, and beside Phii Fah were Ter and Phii Hill. Around me, there didn’t seem to be anyone else; it felt like it was just us.

    “Where are you planning to go, Arthit?” Phii Jo asked.

    “I don’t know. Where are you guys going?”

    “Where are we going?”

    “Osaka.”

    “Oh, Osaka…what’s there to do?”

    “You still don’t have a plan?” Phii Jo asked, Phii Arthit shook his head gently.

    “I want to ski.”

    “There might be some snow for you.”

    “Yeah, bummer. So, what are you guys doing in Osaka?”    “Arthit, what do you know about why we’re here?” Phii Fah turned to ask, the person questioned shook his head.

    “I thought you were taking your wives on a trip. Isn’t that it?”

    “Uh, yeah, that’s right.”

    “Should I transfer to another place? There doesn’t seem to be much to do in Japan anymore.”

    “No,” Phii Fah interjected before Phii Arthit could finish speaking,

    “I won’t allow any more solo trips.”

    “Oh.”

    “Jo, don’t let Arthit out of your sight,” Phii Fah said, Phii Jo immediately furrowed his brows looking over.

    “Are you ordering me around?”

    “Yes.”

    “You have the right to…”

    “The right of someone who works for you guys.”

    “Yeah, sure, Tonfah, Arthit, behave yourself,” Phii Jo said. I don’t know why I burst out laughing; it seems like Phii Arthit often sneaks away on trips, so everyone has to keep a close eye on him.    “Okay, I won’t sneak off then; I’ll stick with you guys like a little wife,” Phii Arthit said, “North.”

    “What, bro?”

    “This trip is our honeymoon with Jo, you go wherever, just don’t be in the way.”

    “Let me come along, bro, I can help carry stuff. I won’t be a nuisance.”

    “Fine, since you’re begging so much.”

    “Sigh,” I heard Phii Jo let out a small sigh; he looked tired too, dealing with both North and Phii Arthit.

    The journey to Japan took several hours until we arrived at Kansai Airport. At first, we discussed how to get to Osaka. We ended up deciding on the train because North wanted to ride it.

    “You want to ride, fine, but the train is so cramped it’s killing me,” Phii Arthit cursed at North.

    “I’ve never ridden one before, I want to try.”

    “And why do I have to ride with you? Why do I have to cater to your whims?”

    “Arthit, just shut up already,” Phii Jo said, making Phii Arthit pretend to zip his lips, gesturing towards North and himself, probably implying, why do I have to shut up while North doesn’t?

    Of course, with Phii Fah, we became the center of attention, and with four doctors together, it was even more noticeable. I’m not sure how it feels to be the focus of everyone’s attention, but it seems like they didn’t mind.

    When we arrived in Osaka by train, we had to discuss our next steps. We ended up deciding to rent cars; North and Ter said they were just visiting, they brought gifts, and would drop me off at the house entrance then go elsewhere. So we got two cars: one for Phii Fah and me, with Phii Hill and Ter in the back, and the other for Phii Jo, North, and Phii Arthit.

    I gazed at the changing scenery along the way, and thinking about meeting Mom made my heart beat faster, with both excitement and worry, holding the gifts tightly in my hands.

    “Are you excited?”

    “Yes, very much so,” I looked at the time; it was around three in the afternoon. I wasn’t sure if Daiki’s school or Saito’s work was over yet. Saito is Mom’s new husband. “I’m worried it might not go well, coming like this.”

    “It will be fine, for sure.”

    “Yes.”

    Before the car stopped in front of one house, Phii Fah checked the map on his phone again, seemingly confident it was the right house. I looked at the house with a heart beating out of rhythm; it wasn’t particularly large. I slowly got out of the car to find the area was quite peaceful, and the weather was pleasantly warm.

    “Is this the one?” Phii Hill asked after getting out of the car, Phii Fah nodded in response. Having three cars parked like this, was it going to be a problem?

    “There’s someone there,” Phii Jo said, making me turn my attention back to the house. I just saw a woman in a cream-colored t-shirt and skirt come out, looking at us with a surprised expression.

    Mom…

       It really was Mom, just like in the pictures.

       “…Mom,” I called out to her, and she quickly opened the gate and walked towards us.

    “Ren!” Then she rushed over and hugged someone.

    …But it wasn’t me.

    ???

    Why did she hug North?!

    “Uh…Arigatou.”

    North said in a stuttering, shy voice, and hugged her back.

       And why are you thanking her?!

       Mom let go of the hug and held North’s face, speaking rapidly in Japanese with an expression of joy and excitement. North was completely bewildered, not knowing what to do, while the rest of us burst into laughter.

       Oh, come to think of it, Mom has never seen me before.

       “Ah, sorry, but…I’m not Ren,” North finally said, making Mom stop touching him.

    “What…what did you say?” Mom asked in a Thai accent that wasn’t clear. North pointed at me.

    “That one over there.”

    “Oh, Gomennasai, I’m sorry, really sorry,” Mom bowed awkwardly to North before turning to look at me, slowly walking closer, then looking up at me, “Ren…right?”

    “Yes.”

    Mom slowly moved closer and gently hugged me. The moment I smelled her faint perfume and felt the warmth of her embrace, I started crying and hugged her back. Mom also cried, and we held each other tightly for several minutes.

       After we let go of each other, Mom gently wiped away my tears, touching my cheeks, shoulders, and arms as if examining how much I’ve grown, with tears still flowing from her eyes.

       “You’ve grown so much,” she said, gently stroking my head with a soft gaze, a faint smile tinged with sadness and longing that words couldn’t describe.

    “I’ve come to see you,” I managed to say between sobs, which only made Mom cry more. We spent some time outside the house before Mom suddenly remembered something.

    “Come inside first,” she said in Japanese, but it seemed she could speak Thai too. The doctors said they would wait elsewhere because they didn’t want to intrude, wanting us to have as much time together as possible, but North and Ter said they wanted to stay.

    “Take care of yourself,” Phii Fah advised.

    “Yes.”

    “Call me if anything happens.”

    “Yes.” We talked a little more, then we walked into the house.    “Phoon, I knew you could confuse anyone. Without asking, she just hugged me first,” North whispered to me, which made me laugh.

    “Yeah,” I said, still finding it amusing.

    “Irasshaimase,” North said as we entered the house.

    “That’s not right, is it?” Ter asked, his brows furrowed, and Mom, hearing this, turned to look with a slightly puzzled expression.    The inside of the house was larger than I expected, and before I could look around much, Mom led us to the living room where there was a large floor table with cushions arranged around it.

    “I’ll get some tea for you,” Mom smiled, then slowly backed away and stepped out.

    “Damn, your mom is like a Japanese housewife,” North said excitedly, looking around because Mom had been told that friends were coming too, so she had set up seating.

    Mom was smaller than I had imagined, about the height of my shoulder, a very petite woman, and she seemed very gentle and kind.    “Irasshaimase,” North replied as Mom placed steaming cups of tea in front of us.

    “What are you ‘Irasshaimase’-ing about?”

    “Irasshaimase means ‘welcome’, when we go to a restaurant,” Mom replied to North in a sweet voice. I couldn’t help but laugh at him, hoping this would make him stop playing around.

    “Irasshaimase.”

    Damn, shameless, still messing around!

       I was right not to invite him, wasn’t I?

       “We brought some gifts,” Ter said, handing a bag of gifts to Mom. She smiled and slightly bowed before accepting it, and Ter, who seemed unsure of what to do, bowed back.

    “I have one too,” North said, offering his gift, and Mom did the same to him as she did with Ter. I took a sip from the tea in front of me.

    “How is it?” Mom asked. I smiled and took another sip with difficulty; it was extremely bitter, bitter to the back of my throat.

    “It’s delicious.”

    “How is it?” Mom turned to ask North, who smiled broadly and blinked rapidly.

    “Is it original?”

    “?”

    “I mean, is it authentic?”

    “Oh…” Mom looked at me as if she didn’t understand. I didn’t know how to answer either, so I responded to North instead.

    “Yeah, authentic, we’re in Japan, so it’s Japanese tea, probably

    Chinese tea.”

    I watched North try to drink it all, and when he finished, he set the cup down and gently wiped his tears. Did it make you cry because it’s so bitter?

       “How do you feel?” Ter asked quietly.

    “Encountered the authentic one, I can’t even speak Thai clearly now,” North said with a muffled voice, but we all finished our cups regardless. “Don’t they have something for tea beginners, so we can practice before facing the real thing?”

    “Don’t be fussy,” Ter said, frowning. “Oh, right, we haven’t introduced ourselves yet. My name is Ter, you can call me Ter.”

    “My name is North.”

    “Are you friends, same age?” Mom asked.

    “Yes.”

    “What are you studying?”

    “I’m studying wisakam.”

    “Wisakam? What is that?”

    “Uh, like, engineering designing, managing projects, stuff like that.”    “Oh, and you?” she turned to ask Ter.

    “I’m studying veterinary medicine, a doctor for animals.”

    “Oh, impressive, and you, Ren?”

    “I’m waiting for my exam results, I want to study photography.” “Oh…” Mom nodded in understanding, and before we could talk more, we heard a child’s shout from the front door, followed by running footsteps.

    Daiki!

       Daiki looked surprised to see the three of us sitting there. The mother and son spoke in Japanese, which I didn’t understand, before Mom brought Daiki to sit beside us. He looked at me, slightly bowed his head, and said something, seemingly introducing himself.    “He said his name is Daiki, nice to meet you. This child has wanted a big brother for a long time,” Mom said. I looked at the chubby kid who was staring at me with sparkling eyes.

    “Really? I’ve always wanted a little brother too,” I replied, and Mom seemed to translate for Daiki, who then smiled broadly and rushed to hug me tightly before letting go. Mom then introduced North and Ter to Daiki.

    “What did he say?” North asked.

    “Daiki said this big brother looks like a goldfish.”

    “…”

    “Ahhhhh, ahhhhh,” Daiki cried out as North pulled on his cheeks until they were all stretched out.

    “North, don’t tease him,” I tried to stop him, but it seemed too late; they were already play-fighting. North, you’re twenty years old, my friend, what do you gain from fighting with an eight-year-old? Mom just laughed, watching them with affection.

    Daiki said something in Japanese, trying to pull North’s ears and cheeks in retaliation, but North wasn’t having any of it either.    “What did you say, Mom, what did he say?”

    “He said if you’re a goldfish, you should go live in water.”    “This kid,” both me and Ter just watched helplessly, the scene in front of us somehow looking absurd, “He’s grown up to be a fool, still can’t understand Thai.”    Well, he’s Japanese…

       The pointless war ended with both of them panting, before Daiki turned this way.

       “Daiki wants to invite you to play with his toys, he says he has something cool to show off.”

    “Oh, come on, let’s go,” Ter stood up, “You stay with Mom, we’ll play with the little brother.” I nodded in response.

    As Ter was led out by Daiki, Daiki stuck his tongue out at North.    “I told you this kid is a troublemaker,” North said before standing up and following Ter, leaving only me and Mom in the living room. Silence enveloped us. They must have wanted to give me time with Mom.

    I knew why they insisted on coming into the house from the start; they were worried I might feel awkward. Once they saw I was okay, they found an excuse to leave us alone, just the two of us. I have to thank those two for that. Otherwise, I would have been much more nervous and wouldn’t have known what to do.

    “…I…I’m sorry.”

    “…”

    “For not…being with you.”

    “It’s okay.”

    “Ugh…I…I’m really sorry.” And then Mom started crying again, her sobs growing until her whole body shook. I could do nothing but comfort her, “Ugh, I love you.”

    “…”

    “I love you…I have missed you so much, it…it might seem unbelievable.”

    “I believe…I believe you. I’ve…missed you too, I’ve always wanted to see you.”

    “Ugh…uh, uhh,” we hugged and comforted each other in the quiet room, filling the void of over twenty years of missed warmth and love. I couldn’t help but cry again; the scent of Mom, the warmth of her embrace that I had never experienced before, it was more than longing, more than anything in this world, it was an embrace that nothing could replace.

    It felt like the emptiness in my heart, the part meant for Mom, was being filled.

    After a while, Mom took my hand and led me to the back of the house to sit on the veranda, facing a small garden with a pond. Mom went away for about five minutes before coming back with snacks.

    The atmosphere here wasn’t bad at all, it was beautiful, with a gentle breeze that made the hanging mobiles sway, creating a melodious sound.

    “I want to hear about your life.”

    “Yes?”

    “Everything…that you’ve been through, that I wasn’t there for.”

    “Oh…can you tell me about your story first?”

    “From the time I went there?”

    “Yes.”

    “Hmm…it started when Grandma passed away. Grandpa died when I was still a child, so it was just me and Grandma. After I finished school, Grandma passed away, and before she died, she said she wanted to go back to Thailand, so I took…uh, your Grandma’s ashes, to Thailand for the first time with just a little bit of money.”

    “…”

    “To…Phuket.”

    “Oh…so Grandma was from Phuket.”

    “Yes, I didn’t have money, so I went to work, washing dishes at a restaurant. Later on, they let me serve food too, that’s when I met…your father.”

    “I don’t know…how it was. I was very young back then, too young to understand anything, alone in a foreign country, so when someone showed care, I was overjoyed. I never thought he would deceive me, I gave him everything, my body, my heart, until I got pregnant.”

    “He told me to get an abortion, he threw money at me…two thousand baht, I think it was at the time, he said he was already married, he couldn’t take responsibility, and he even pointed at me and cursed, saying that the child in my womb might not even be his, he said…what was it, I was a woman…a woman…”

    “Never mind, keep going,” it seemed like Mom couldn’t remember those words, but it was for the best; they were probably not good words. So I told her to move on.

    “At that time, I…didn’t know what to do, angry, heartbroken, and unsure, but I didn’t want to have an abortion, so I kept that money to buy food. I couldn’t afford prenatal care, so I delivered the baby alone in my room, with help from the neighbor next door.”

    “At first, I wanted to raise the child by myself, but then I looked at myself and felt…pitiful. I didn’t have enough milk because my health wasn’t good, and I didn’t have money to buy milk for the baby; I felt sorry for the child. Back then, the only thing I could think of was pity for my child.”

    “During the pregnancy, your father never came to see me. I could contact him sporadically, until one day I thought he should take responsibility or at least help us. I carried the baby…hugged you tight, crying, went to him, begged him to help us because the baby was going to starve.”

    “…” Mom seemed about to cry but tried to hold it back several times, and I felt like crying too. Why did Mom have to go through so much hardship, and she was only eighteen or nineteen back then, right?

    “He didn’t accept it. We argued in front of his house; he tried to send me away until his wife showed up. She…was holding a child too, I think her name was Torfan.”

    “We argued for a while, with people from around there gathering to watch. We had to stop, and his wife suggested a DNA test, saying we would talk again if it matched.”

    “Your father didn’t want to do the test, but his wife forced him to. They did the test, and it matched. After some discussion, it ended with him telling Mom to leave the child there and not to interfere with the child or them anymore, otherwise, they wouldn’t help at all.”    “He looked very displeased, but since the child didn’t know anything, his wife must have felt sorry, so I chose to let the child stay with them.”    “…Why?”

    “At least you would have enough to eat every meal, and sleep in a warm bed.” I bit my lip hard, feeling a tightness in my chest from those words; Mom didn’t want to leave me…she really didn’t want to.    “Me last request was to name the child Ren if possible, he agreed, but it seems he didn’t do it because the name was what I intended for my first child.”

    “Why Ren?” I asked curiously.

    “Ren…means lotus. My name means lily, and they are similar. For me, the lotus…”

    “…isn’t beautiful when it’s arranged in a bouquet or put in a vase, but I think it’s beautiful just as it is in its own place. It doesn’t need extra decoration to be beautiful, because it’s inherently beautiful.”    “I wanted my child to be like a lotus, beautiful as they are, in their own way and in their own place. Without anyone telling them how they should be or where they should be.”

    “They don’t need to try to be as beautiful as roses in a vase, because the lotus is most beautiful when it’s on the water.”

    “Oh…I understand now. Being oneself and in one’s own space is the best…right?”

    “Uh, that’s right,” Mom smiled, “Let me continue…After that, I secretly watched over you for several months, until I was sure you’d be safe there, then I decided to go back to Japan. Because if I stayed in Thailand, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from seeing you.”    “I worked and saved some money to start anew in Japan, but because I missed you, I…sent birthday gifts every year, oh, isn’t your birthday tomorrow?”

    “Oh…yes, it is, I forgot.”

    “You’ll be twenty-one soon, right?”

    “Yes.”

    “And after that…were they good to you?” Mom asked with a worried and concerned look. I bit my lip tightly before letting out a sigh, probably because when I was still a baby, Fan’s mother might have cared for me somewhat, but as time passed, raising someone else’s child with her husband wasn’t as easy as one might think.

    “It’s okay, it’s all in the past now,” I answered.

    “…Tell me about your life.”

    “Aren’t you going to ask about Dad?”

    “No,” Mom shook her head gently, “Forget about him, tell me about your life instead.”

    And so I started telling my story from childhood, about how I was as a kid, how I won poetry contests, awards for Thai calligraphy in primary school, how I was the class representative for reading at the stage, how I often topped my class, recounting all the significant events from each age to Mom. These were proud moments I wanted to share with someone, but no one listened except Fan. These were small, trivial things a child wanted to boast about how well they did, but no one cared.

       Mom listened to my stories with interest, her face showing happiness and pride throughout. This is what I meant by wanting to tell Mom so many things because, throughout my childhood, aside from Phii Fah and Fan, no one ever praised my efforts.

       “So clever, you were the class leader too.”

    “Yes, but there were some kids at the back of the class who didn’t like to listen to me.”

    “…And what did you do then?”

    “I told the teacher, and when they got scolded, they would pick on me, but I always fought back.”    “You’re strong, did you get hurt?”

    “…Sometimes, it’s just a boy’s injury. When they saw I wasn’t afraid of the back-row kids, whenever they bullied others in the class, the classmates would come to me for help. I could always help the class.”

    “You were quite dependable as a kid, huh?”

    “And then, when I was in grade five…” I told my story in great detail and with enthusiasm, it took a while to get to the present day.    “So, the person standing next to you when you arrived, is that your partner?”

    “Yes.”

    “And the others?”

    “The one wearing the blue shirt is Ter’s partner. The one in the gray shirt is North’s partner.”

    “And the other one?”

    “That one is just a friend of theirs.”

    “Oh, how lovely, everyone came to see you off,” Mom smiled, “It will soon be dinner time, invite them to eat with us, or you could stay here if you want.”

    “It’s okay, I don’t want to impose.”

    “Impose what? No such thing.”

    “Really, meeting like this with you is like a dream. This is enough for me,” I said sincerely, not wanting to impose any further.

    “Or is it because you’re not happy that I remarried…”

    “No, not at all, it’s good actually, you get to start a new life, and there’s someone to look after you.”

    “…Son,” Mom bit her lip as if she wanted to say something, “But I…have always felt guilty for not doing anything for you. Now, I am ready to make amends; you can move in with me if you want.”    “No…it’s okay,” I said softly, furrowing my brows, feeling very touched by what Mom said, “This is enough, thank you for letting me come see you.”

    “…Why do you talk like we won’t meet again?”

    “I didn’t mean it like that at all, but…how should I put it, I want you to have a new life. I just want you to know that I’m doing well. Don’t worry or be anxious. I just wanted to see that you are well too. I want you to continue on the new path you’ve chosen. As for me, I’ll walk the path I’ve chosen. We’re not on the same path, but we still have each other, right?”

    “Uh…I understand, but I’m still your Mom…right?”

    “Yes. No matter what. I want you to be my Mom,” I said with a broad smile, feeling my heart swell with warmth, “And I’ll still be your Ren.”

    “…Uh, I love you.”

    “I love you too, Mom.” I held the small hand of the person sitting next to me, and Mom held my hand back, her hand so soft and warm.

    “We’ll see each other again, right?” Mom asked.

    “Yes, if there’s a chance, I’ll come visit.”

    “Uh, don’t forget to visit me, okay, son?”

    “Oh…right, Mom.”

    “Hmm?”

    “If it’s not too much trouble…can you write letters to me, maybe once in a while?”    “Oh…of course.”

    “Thank you.” We exchanged addresses for sending letters, and then we walked back inside the house, finding the three of them playing in the living room. I joined them until Phii Fah messaged asking where we would have dinner since it was getting late.

    And while I was about to ask Ter and North, I heard someone walking in, and it turned out to be Saito, Mom’s husband. When he came back, Mom went to help him with his bag and take off his suit jacket.

       Mom introduced us to Saito, who seemed like a very kind man, and he even invited us to stay for dinner. However, I had to decline, thinking it would be better for their family to have dinner together.

       Seeing this made me feel even more at ease.

       Mom really does have a good new family now.

       It’s a very warm family indeed.

       I messaged Phii Fah that we would go out to eat together, and after a short wait, the doctors came to pick us up. It was time for us to head back.

       “Damn, this kid, even in front of your dad, he’s still messing with me,” North complained heatedly because Daiki had grabbed his pants to prevent him from leaving.    “He just doesn’t want you to go.”

    “Shit, he’s just pulling on my pants, damn it, stop it, my pants are going to tear!”

    Daiki looked up and said something to me, so Mom translated:    “Daiki said you haven’t beaten him in the game yet. Next time, he’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself, so come back soon.” I couldn’t help but smile at what Mom translated from Daiki’s words, and I sat down to gently pat the chubby kid’s head.

    “Prepare to lose next time,” I said, and Mom had to translate again, making Daiki smile broadly. I couldn’t resist pinching his chubby cheeks out of affection.

    “I’ll be going now. I’ll send a letter.”

    “I will wait, happy early birthday, son. Take care of yourself; you’re too thin. Don’t forget to eat a lot, your skin is too pale, exercise some, don’t stress yourself too much. No matter what, I believe you can do it. If anything, talk to me. As for what you asked about being the person I expected…”

    “…”

    “You’ve always been my son. No matter what, I love you and am proud of you.”

    “I love you too, Mom.” I hugged Mom one last time as a farewell, then I noticed Daiki was crying. This was after North tried to pry his hand off his pants.

    “Do you want my pants that badly?”

    “He doesn’t want you to go. He doesn’t want your pants,” Ter said.

    “Snot’s all over my pants now!”

    Mom went to pull Daiki away from North.

    “This kid acts like this when he likes someone; he must really like you North,” Mom said with a smile, turning to speak a few sentences to Daiki before looking back at me, “He said that Ter and Ren are kind brothers. As for North, he’s very mean, but he still wants to play with all three of you again.”

    “What’s mean about that? He messed with me first,” North turned to say to Ter, who could only shake his head slightly in disgust.    “Fighting with an eight-year-old, I’m going crazy.”    “We’ll definitely come back, so stop crying, here, take this,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small plastic toy I got from a gacha machine near the train station. I wasn’t sure if Daiki would like it, but it seemed he did; he stopped crying and looked excited.    “Daiki said this one is rare; the boys at school are competing to collect these.”

    “Oh, that’s good, then we’ll be going now. Take care of your health, both Mom and Saito, I’ll try to visit often,” I said with a smile to Mom and Saito standing beside her. As I was about to leave, the chubby kid hugged me. I looked down at him making a pouty face, holding on tight as if he didn’t want me to go. I could only hug the stubborn kid back, and after a while, Mom had to pull him away again.

    “Have a safe trip,” Mom said, looking at all of us.

    “Yes.”

    I walked back to sit inside the car, then saw Mom come over to say something to Phii Fah, but I was inside the car and couldn’t hear, nor did I dare to eavesdrop. I’d ask later. Then Phii Fah opened the driver’s side door and got in.

       “What did Mom say?”

    “Oh, she just said thank you and asked me to take care of you.”

    “Oh, and…what did Phii Fah reply?”

    “I promised that…”

    “…”

    “I would protect and take care of her son with my life.”

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