SMNTCERR, Chapter 71: Yellow #13.

   “Today, hyung you look very strange.”

   “Why?”

   “I’ve never seen you dress like this before. And I’ve never smelled this scent before.”

   “And don’t you like it?”

   “…No.”

   “Then it doesn’t matter.”

   “And… What happened at the funeral?”

   Jaeyoung thought that now Sangwoo could imitate humans without any problems. As soon as he hugged him tightly, Sangwoo lightly patted his shoulder.

   “When you said someone did something, who was it?”

   “Aunt, uncle in laws, uncle, and the aunt in laws. And older siblings and younger siblings, someone went to scold them.”

   “Stupid man, this, are you sulking because you were bothered by your relatives a little?”

   “You have to comfort me, do you think I came here to be bullied or something?”

   “Do you mean to comfort you physically with my body?”

   “You’re overthinking it. It’s not like that. Be careful with your words.”  Jaeyoung was frustrated with Sangwoo, knowing that the other had no function for “warmth and comfort.” The truth didn’t matter anymore, as Sangwoo had just dumped his weight onto Jaeyoung and was now fully inhaling his scent. Jaeyoung didn’t want any more comfort.

   Sangwoo was silent for a long moment, which was unbearable for Jaeyoung.

   He felt like his body was weak and exhausted to the point of almost collapsing.

   The other finally spoke up.

   “In nature, strong creatures live alone. For example, black mambas can produce venom from the moment they hatch and therefore don’t need a pack to protect themselves.”

   “…”

   “As for the animals that can’t do that, there’s a reason they have to live together in large groups. Herbivores have low individual strength and need to be in a group to protect themselves from predators, while carnivores form packs to hunt.”

   Jaeyoung listened to the lecture on zoology that had suddenly started with a speechless feeling. Sangwoo gave detailed descriptions of animals such as lemurs, monkeys, and hyenas before asking.

   “What type are you?”

   “I don’t know.”

   He couldn’t answer seriously because it wasn’t logical to compare animals and humans. Moreover, it was impossible for Sangwoo, who grew up in a normal family, to understand the situation of a broken family that was commonly seen in dramas.

   “If it’s a child of a mammal that feeds its young with milk from its pouch, it’s a different story. When they reach adulthood, they have to separate and live their own lives. If they’re weak, they’ll have to rely on a group, but if living with a group harms them…”

   Sangwoo spoke in a flat tone for a moment.

   “Just avoid them? Are you sure if you can survive without a family?”

   That was a way of thinking that said to find the root of the problem and eliminate it when there was a problem. What the other said wasn’t wrong, but it was just that he didn’t know his situation. Normally, people tend to think that this kind of thinking is cold.

   “Do your parents know that you think like this?”

   “Of course. I left home five years ago.”

   “Are your parents disappointed?”

   “I try to maintain my connection with my family by calling them every month and visiting them every six months. And I plan to return the money that they all spent on me for the next nine years.”

   “…You hyung, sounds like a grateful kid.”

   Although he spoke like that, it was clear that Sangwoo grew up in a loving family. His father insisted on adding a heart at the end of his name on a phone list. His mother was afraid that her son, who had no mouth filter, would have trouble fitting in and taught him etiquette in drinking on his own. His older sister often quarreled with her younger brother like any other siblings.

   Sometimes, that might be the reason why the other party was emotionally stable. Ignoring other people’s opinions and having high self-respect. Jaeyoung felt envious and jealous of the two men who were embracing each other at the same time.

   “Hyung, you are contradictory. Even though you skipped important classes all the time. And why won’t you miss the funeral, which is nothing but a headache.”

   “If I don’t go, it’ll be a problem.”

   “Let it be. Those relatives are just like any other people. No one can force you.”

   “You’re right about everything.”

   Jaeyoung smiled unconsciously, it was strange that such a ridiculous problem-solving method made him calm, and the conclusion helped him brush away the stress and feel refreshed like carbonated water.

   “It’s over, I’ve never seen a red demon wearing a hat before.”

   Hearing the other party murmuring, Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly.

   “Am I stupid?”

   “A little bit. I understand because we all have weaknesses. Even Superman has kryptonite.”

   “That’s right. A perfect man like me must have weaknesses too.”

   Jaeyoung thought that was not a bad comparison. One weakness, ‘family’, which his grandfather had been giving him for a long time, made Jaeyoung vulnerable. No different from Superman who lost his power when he encountered kryptonite. At that time, he was suspicious.

   “Then what is your kryptonite?”

   “I don’t have anything like that.” Sangwoo answered without hesitation.

   Jaeyoung accepted it without any doubt.

   “That’s good. A Superman without weaknesses.”

   Lack of social skills, senses, empathy, but that might not be a disadvantage for a black mamba that is strong, because even if they cannot get along with others, they can still live on their own.

   “You’ve probably been living like that all your life.”

   Sangwoo patted Jaeyoung’s back twice and said. “Okay then.

   It’s done.”

   The technician was a gentle comforter.

   “Do you want a kiss now?”

   “Oh.”

   Jaeyoung’s fingers held onto both sides of Sangwoo’s cheeks. Jaeyoung closed his eyes and closed his eyes, but Sangwoo tilted his face up to his own level. Then he just lingered there for a moment without doing anything, his finger traced Jaeyoung’s forehead and then came to rest on his brow. Then he slowly trailed down his nose, across his cheeks, and then over the ridge above his lips before finally coming to rest on his mouth.

   “Why did those people come causing problems for a good-looking relative like this?”

   As he let out a smile, something else touched the corner of Jaeyoung’s lips instead of his finger. It was something that sucked and pulled the lower lip of Jaeyoung into his mouth, and sent a soft, gentle tongue to caress it. Sangwoo licked Jaeyoung’s lips and alternated with sucking. When he opened his mouth wide, the other side sent his tongue in.

   ‘I feel really good now.’

   After practicing a lot, he became a full-fledged player. Jaeyoung forgot about his fatigue and was pulled along by Sangwoo’s seduction. He felt like he had turned into a melting chocolate in the warm mouth, and let the other side explore the depths of his mouth gently. While their tongues were entwined, his consciousness drifted away, and his lips and tongue were stimulated by Sangwoo’s touch, causing his thoughts to pause.

   After their lips naturally separated, Jaeyoung pulled Sangwoo back into his arms and whispered in his ear.

   “Can I stay here tonight and leave in the morning?”

   “Yes.”

   ‘Aren’t you answering too quickly?’

   “Then bring me some pajamas, I’ll go take a shower.”

   “No, there is no time for you to change clothes.”

   Sangwoo quickly replied and grabbed Jaeyoung’s arm, pulling him towards the bed. The other side’s face turned red with anticipation. There was a fire in his eyes. Although he fell onto the bed due to the force, Jaeyoung still didn’t feel like doing anything. He grabbed Sangwoo as he climbed up onto his stomach and pulled him down to hug him, flipping over to lie on his side.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Yes?”

   “Let’s just sleep and hug each other like parents do with their children.” With that said, he remembered something and added.

   “We are both men, so we can’t get married, but it’s just a metaphor. If you don’t feel good, I’ll be the mother and you can be the father.”

   Sangwoo just stared at him without saying anything. Jaeyoung pushed his body closer and inserted his leg between Sangwoo’s, their chests touching and the warmth inviting a good feeling. The intense feeling that almost made their hearts explode began to subside, replaced by a warm and soothing feeling that made the corners of their mouths lift and small waves that helped eliminate hatred and anxiety, making their hearts calm down. Jaeyoung thought it was good that he came to find Sangwoo.

   Suddenly, Sangwoo, who was lying still, asked him.

   “Are you not going to do anything?”

   When he didn’t answer, Sangwoo began to move and pushed his head forward to meet his gaze.

   “If you were a parent, you would have to take care of the baby, wouldn’t you?”

   Jaeyoung pressed his head against the other side again and hugged his body tighter.

   “I want to stay like this more.”

   ‘Please. Chu Sangwoo, I didn’t come here to have sex with you, but to see your face differently.’

   No matter how much he begged in his heart, Sangwoo couldn’t acknowledge the command that wasn’t given to him. Sangwoo pushed Jaeyoung’s chest out to create some distance, then looked down. Jaeyoung used his other hand to cover his eyes before turning over and facing the other way, but the moment had passed.

   “A sexual desire is beyond the control of reason. I understand that feeling well.”

   “…”

   At that moment, he hated himself for being born a man. Jaeyoung didn’t really think about having sex, but as soon as he saw Sangwoo’s face, his body responded on its own. Sangwoo moved closer and hugged his back. Then he whispered in his ear as if he understood everything.

   “I just saw you wear a suit for the first time, so I wanted to do this too, but if you don’t want to lose your humanity, I respect that decision.”

   Giving in became the ultimate temptation and spark for his desire. Jaeyoung could feel the blood flowing throughout his body.

   “Chu Sangwoo.”

   “What is it?”

   “Where are the condoms?”

   “Who said he wouldn’t do it?”

   “I said I wouldn’t do it, but you won’t stay still enough for me to calm down.”

   “I don’t want to force someone who’s not willing…”

   “Hurry up and get it before I can’t take it anymore and put my cock inside you myself, please.”

   Jaeyoung’s body, which had been pressed against Sangwoo’s back, slid away as the light went out, followed by Sangwoo who returned with a condom from the same brand as before. As Jaeyoung reached out to pull the other side in for a hug, Sangwoo pushed him down on his back.

   “Hyung, you looked tired today, I’ll take care of it myself.”

   “What?”

   “Just be still.”

   He finished speaking. Sangwoo sat down at the end of the bed and quickly unbuttoned his pajamas. Jaeyoung looked at the other side in a half-sitting, halflying position before slowly lying down. He looked at the thin pajamas slipping down to reveal Sangwoo’s body, and he swallowed hard. Although he imagined himself tearing the clothes into pieces and rushing inside Sangwoo, he still remembered the order to stay calm.

   Sangwoo took off his pajamas and neatly folded them into a rectangle before facing Jaeyoung. At that moment, the person in front did something unexpected. Sangwoo pulled down his pants a little and put a condom on his own cock without waiting for permission.

   “Sangwoo?”

   ‘Does “be still” mean this?’

   Jaeyoung was startled to the point of stiffness. Although he had thought that this might happen someday, he didn’t expect it to be today. He intended to talk to Sangwoo about this and agree to everything if the other side wanted, but he hadn’t prepared himself yet.

   ‘I should not have inferred to myself as the mother.’’

   Sangwoo moved closer and placed his hand above Jaeyoung’s pants button.

   Jaeyoung grabbed the other hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

   “Wait, I’m not ready yet…”

   “You’re acting strange today, hyung.”

   Sangwoo smiled and surprised Jaeyoung. He took advantage of the moment when he relaxed his grip on his pants and underwear at the same time. Jaeyoung decided to lie still and see what the other side would do, but he couldn’t help but worry in his heart.

   “Are we just going to lie here like this?”

   “Just wait a bit, it’ll calm down on its own.”

   “Look at yourself first before you speak.”

   Sangwoo complained that it was too slippery and grabbed a tissue to wipe himself off. He only lightly touched Jaeyoung with the tissue, but Jaeyoung felt like he was being licked and the desire in him grew stronger, causing his cock to continuously release fluids. However, Sangwoo persisted in wiping until he was done and then put on the condom for Jaeyoung.

   “Why put it on both of us?”

   “I thought since we had to throw away the shirt last time, we might as well wear condoms together. The shirt must be expensive, right?”

   Sangwoo spoke as if it wasn’t important and took off Jaeyoung’s coat. Jaeyoung’s anxiety and suspicion suddenly turned into excitement, causing his mind to go blank, but he was determined to wait and see something good if he waited a little longer.

   Sangwoo squeezed some lubricant onto the condom and spread it around with his fingers. Then he took a deep breath, lifted his hips, held on Jaeyoung’s shoulders with both hands, and placed his buttocks right on top of Jaeyung’s red stiff shaft. The small touch made Jaeyoung so excited that he almost lost control and grabbed onto Sangwoo’s arm. He held onto the white-hot arm tightly and relaxed it, and repeated it, but the desired reaction he was waiting for never came.

   “It’s not working.”

   Sangwoo frowned and, after trying a few more times, gave up and sat down on Jaeyoung’s thigh, looking pitiful.

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 70, Yellow #12.

   A heart that turns into ice when surrounded by people who don’t like to melt it. Sangwoo has a talent for shaking people’s hearts unintentionally, and sometimes that may be the reason why Jaeyoung has come to this point.

   [Are you listening?]

   “Oh.”

   If his grandfather knew dating a man how he would react, Jaeyoung wondered, maybe he would throw a cigarette in his mouth at him or be locked up in a psychiatric hospital, or maybe he would just laugh loudly and say it was just for fun and it was over. Then he would say to keep the line.

   The line… of that man.

   [I’m sorry for calling during a busy time.]

   The other side apologized easily even though he didn’t do anything wrong. He wondered if the person at the end of the line was the same person he used to face without feeling shocked because he didn’t want to show the “sadness” that might be real at the internet cafe.

   “No, it’s not a bother.”

   […]

   “…”

   [After talking on the phone yesterday, I thought…] Sangwoo paused for a moment and continued. [Your voice sounded sad. So I just wanted to say don’t be too sad. 

   That’s my reason.]

   Or the other person might think he was sad because he came to a funeral? Well, anyway, the other person’s thoughts had only one dimension to be completely wrong, but Chu Sangwoo’s concern was very valuable. Jaeyoung felt the corner of his mouth curling up as he answered.

   “I have something to worry about, but it happens often… it’s okay.”

   [Did someone play a prank on you?]

   “Yeah.”

   [Who was it?]

   “If you know, what will you do?”

   His smile became more apparent. He had only been out of Seoul for 2 days, but Jaeyoung missed Sangwoo so much.

   [I understand. I said too much. That’s all.]

   “Wait.”

   Jaeyoung held the phone with both hands and pressed it closer to his ear.

   “Let me hear your voice a little more.”

   He needed to be strong to endure another day without Sangwoo. Jaeyoung hurriedly raised the volume, afraid of missing even the faint murmurs of the other person. Then he heard the sound of soft breathing.

   “I said I wanted to hear you speak, why are you so quiet?”

   [I have nothing to say.]

   “Anything is fine, just speak your mind.”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment. Then, what he said made Jaeyoung forget how to breathe.

   [Jang Jaeyoung.]

   He was so happy that he was lost in hearing his name called with the sound of the end of the line.

   [The office is very quiet now that you are gone. Time seems to pass slowly.]

   “…”

   [Miss you.]

   The murmuring sound faded away as if it had passed by unnoticed. He wondered if he had misheard it. When he tried to ask again, the other person spoke quickly.

   [I spoke without thinking. That’s all.]

   Then the line was cut immediately. Jaeyoung stood still, staring at the black screen for a moment. Just one phone call made him breathe like a longdistance runner, feeling restless and his heart aching, a feeling that was hot and turbulent like an emotional storm, above all else, it was intense. Jaeyoung leaned his back and head against the wall, holding the phone tightly in his hand, and from where he stood on the lower stairs, it seemed that the other party might have taken another step up.

   ‘I wanted to have enough fun and end things, but that seems to be becoming even more impossible.’

   When is it enough? He had been pondering about this for a while now. Everything was confusing, the line that should not be crossed? He didn’t know where that line was, maybe he had already crossed it. Jaeyoung was overwhelmed, Chu Sangwoo’s explosive outburst destroyed even Jaeyoung’s weakness and coolness, so in Jaeyoung’s mind, everything became clear. Previously, Jaeyoung was not born with a habit of thinking and paying attention to every detail.

   He hurriedly walked. As he turned the corner, he almost collided with Jaehong, but he didn’t care about the other party and hurriedly aimed his feet towards the hotel entrance.

   “What’s wrong with you?”

   Jaehong’s voice was full of laughter. When he turned to look, he saw a face with a deep smile. Jaeyoung walked faster with Jaehong following at the same speed.

   “Your baby voice is so low. It’s like a boy that it actually surprised me. Or… not just like, but was that really a man?”

   “Shut up.”

   “Are you dating a guy?”

   He looked at the other person who was talking loudly and walked away without paying attention to any questions, regardless of how long they had been together, how old the other person was, or what they looked like.

   “I can’t believe that there will be a day when we have the same interests, JangJaeyoung. It’s not like grandfather gave you permission and you started dating.”

   “What do you want to say?”

   “I know your weakness, don’t I?”

   “Do you want to announce it? Go ahead.”

   He stepped forward and stood in front of the elevator, pressing the button without hesitation or hesitation, his fingers eagerly pressing the button that was already lit up two or three times.

   “So… where are you going?”

   “Seoul.”

   Jaeyoung answered briefly before stepping into the elevator that had just arrived and pressing the floor number. Jaehong followed him in and asked with a worried expression.  “Are you serious?”

   “Uh.”

   “No, I mean that guy. Are you serious about him?”

   Seriously? What is that supposed to mean? Although he has had many experiences in love, Jaeyoung thinks he doesn’t know the answer. His current condition is simpler than ever. The only reason he went to pack his things and get in the car and drive like he is chased by aliens was because Sangwoo said he missed him. He didn’t mention Sangwoo’s intense desire or his need for Jaeyoung’s body, that’s all.

   “But isn’t tomorrow the funeral?”

   It is clear that something will happen if he disappears without saying anything. Although Jaeyoung has been living with the ‘line’ to prevent annoying things, he no longer cares about Indra and Brahma’s faces…

   Jaeyoung got off the elevator on the 8th floor and spoke to Jaehong.

   “Can you help me with something?”

   “What?”

   “I’ve been keeping your secrets until now.”

   “So what?”

   “So you should help me once, tell them that I have urgent work and I have to go back soon.”

   “Do you think it will work? Just wait another day and then go, right?”

   “It won’t work.”

   Chu Sangwoo said he missed him. Not complaining about him working or saying he wants to sleep with him, but saying he misses him.

   Jaehong frowned and spoke, “I’m not sure if this will go smoothly. Besides, grandfather won’t listen to me…”

   “So you can’t help.”

   Jaeyoung swiped his keycard to enter the room, kicked his travel bag causing it to fall and scattered clothes all over the room, then Jaehong stood hugging his chest and sighed.

   “I understand. Just calm down.”

   Jaeyoung ignored the other party and continued packing his bag.

   Standing there hugging his chest and pouting, suddenly Jaehong came and sat in front of the travel bag, rummaged through the messy clothes and picked out the suit and shirt that Jaeyoung had brought. When he realized the purpose of the person in front of him, Jaeyoung slowly stopped his actions, and Jaehong took off his suit to try it on.

   “It’s not my style, but I can’t help it.”

   “Are you sure?”

   “Who could ever imagine?”

   He remembered when they were kids, when Jaehong was sick and had to miss school. Then he pretended to be the other party until the teacher turned around. He didn’t think Jaehong would be a good actor, but no one knew that the other party came here, just fooling his grandfather would be enough. “Hey,

   Jaehong.”

   When he called him, the other party remained silent and licked his lips.

   “If you want to thank me, you don’t have to, because I won’t help you for free next time.”

   “Tell me.”

   “Give me the shoes and perfume. Your grandfather is sensitive.”

   Jaeyoung changed shoes with the other party, threw the perfume bottle before locking his travel bag. Then he left the hotel without looking back.

   He stepped on the accelerator to go faster, maybe there would be several tickets for speeding, but now Jaeyoung was unconscious and didn’t have time to care about that, he didn’t even stop to rest once, the car ran until he arrived in Seoul in less than three hours.

   When he got out of the car in front of Sangwoo’s apartment building, he felt tense before entering. He stopped and examined himself from the reflection on the glass door. He was wearing a black suit and Oxford Brogues shoes, in Jaehong’s style, which Sangwoo might like, but he had been working all day, and maybe he smelled of sweat.

   Jaeyoung stood in front of the apartment building, not rushing to go inside immediately. Earlier, he had thought of going in the opposite direction to the office without caring about how the other person would react, even though he had been rejected repeatedly. He had only made it into a joke, but today was the only day he didn’t feel that way. He had traveled this far just because of the words “miss you,” and sometimes he might be weak, might have misheard something, or might not accept it because he was tired. The anxiety he had never felt before had surfaced at the bottom of his heart, and it seemed that he might lose his confidence because he was in a vulnerable state.

   ‘Or maybe I should just go back.’

   In his heart, he thought about smoking, but then he thought that the other person, who didn’t like the smell of smoke, might have just taken a clean shower and put on clean pajamas, and might not like it. He quickly gave up his intention, raised his head, and looked at the tightly closed window. He didn’t worry about anything and was in a stable state, which was different from himself.

   Jaeyoung unlocked his phone to check the messages he hadn’t read while driving, but they were all messages he didn’t want at the moment. At that moment, there was a new message.

   [Baby: I’ve been thinking. We might have to accept the unlimited mode, ladder, ranking, and special quests, because the store takes two weeks to consider. So we have to start the beta test on the 3rd as scheduled. _23:04.]

   [Baby: I know you’re busy. You don’t have to reply. Just know it. 

   _23:04.]

   He read it a few times and thought about the message that seemed to be work-related, but then another message came in.

   [Bebe: And sweet dreams. Getting enough sleep can help relieve the stress you’ve been under during the day. _23:07.]

   “Playing with my heart.”

   He didn’t know why, but suddenly tears welled up in his eyes. Jaeyoung put his phone in his bag and opened the glass door, running up the stairs two steps at a time until he reached the fourth floor. Then he stood in front of the door, adjusting his breathing, and remembered that he had once slammed the door hard, making a loud noise. He slowly raised his hand and knocked on the door three times with his fingertips.

   He didn’t know how long he had been standing there waiting before the door opened and a bright light shone on the dark staircase. When he blinked and opened his eyes again, he saw the other person standing in front of him in pajamas, both shirt and pants, with wide eyes and an open mouth, looking surprised.

   “Why…”

   Jaeyoung slowly walked into the room and closed the door. Sangwoo stood a distance away, looking somewhat aloof, as they both stood there gazing into each other’s eyes for a moment.

   ‘You know, I really like you a lot.’

   Just by looking at the other person’s face, he could tell. At that moment, he understood the anxiety that said that desires would only become more and more intense if they hit the ceiling and should come down instead. If it goes to the extreme, it should be cooled down. But why does it get more and more intense the longer the days go by? Jaeyoung thought about taking off his expensive shoes, but was indifferent, and took two steps towards Sangwoo. Sangwoo widened his eyes and looked at Jaeyoung without avoiding his gaze, even though his cheeks turned red.

   “I didn’t know if you would come.”

   “And don’t you want me to come?”

   The gaze with black eyes replied that it wasn’t that.

   Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s neck and leaned towards himself. As soon as he lowered his chin onto his shoulder and dropped his weight, the negative feeling that had been swirling in his heart before slowly flowed out to the tips of his fingers. He closed his eyes automatically and took a long breath out through the corner of his mouth.

   Anxiety is not his hobby, why waste the time that should be happy to worry? But the more he knows the other person, the more intense the infatuation becomes, the more the anxiety increases, it’s really annoying.

   “Feels good.”

   No. Jaeyoung always feels good when he meets Sangwoo, he has never been like this before. He has never been so deeply immersed that he cannot control himself, he rubbed his face against the nape of the other person’s neck before feeling the two arms that tightly held his back, and the embrace of Sangwoo that he used to think was warm and large.

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 69: Yellow #11.

   Meanwhile, his grandfather, who was still chuckling, returned and the grunting uncle quickly flashed a wide smile that almost revealed all of his gold teeth. Jaeyoung felt a sense of worthlessness that he had never felt before. He stopped eating, put down his spoon and fork, and just laughed out loud. When he was a child and saw people getting what they wanted, he felt so envious that he didn’t know what to do, but now he just felt annoyed and could tolerate it.

   “Father, let’s find time to go to Australia together. I went to Australia last month and secretly looked at some nice golf courses.”

   “Hahaha, Australia is also good.”

   The reason why Jaeyoung had to force himself to attend the family gathering was because his grandfather, an elderly businessman who had built himself up from scratch, was a person with high self-esteem and a strong leader. He had a taste for “image” and even when he went out for a moment, he had to wear a suit. He was also a romantic man who strongly emphasized that he would not date or remarry after his grandmother died five years ago, but at the same time, he was an old-fashioned person who held the belief that a daughter who got married and to another family/clan was like being an outsider, and he emphasized the importance of blood ties.

   When he was in junior high school and was punished by the seniors, and when he brought his girlfriend home in high school and was caught, his grandfather just laughed and said that men could have such things happen. When he rebelled and said he didn’t want to see his grandfather’s face and ran away from home for a month, secretly drank Western liquor in the library, and started smoking, his grandfather said it was just a phase of his life and let him do it, even when he chose to study design instead of business administration as the other party hoped. His grandfather respected Jaeyoung’s decision.

   However, on the day when Jaeyoung argued that he wanted to cut ties with his family that had split in different directions like this, he was slapped for the first time in his life, the day he didn’t participate in the family activity as the other party wished, he was kicked out of the house, and the day he called his uncle a dog-faced man, he was beaten with a golf club.

   His grandfather is the most understanding and intimidating man that Jaeyoung has ever met. Jaeyoung has learned both freedom and compromise from the other party at the same time, and he is not confident that he will not meet your grandfather for the rest of his life, and he cannot change your grandfather, so he can only surrender and maintain the ‘line’ throughout his twenties.

   After leaving the family gathering, Jaeyoung returned to the room exhausted and immediately collapsed on the bed. Every time they gathered like this, he would normally be exhausted, but today he felt more impatient than usual, and he knew why.

   He struggled to remove his contact lenses, then lay face down with his arms and legs spread out for a while before reaching into his pants pocket and taking out his phone, which he had put on silent. There were several useless contacts from various places, but the one he really wanted to contact did not come.

   ‘I miss you so much.’

   Perhaps because they had been seeing each other almost every day until now. When they didn’t see each other for just one day, he became agitated. In the past, even though there was nothing special going on, he just wanted to know if the other party was doing well, if they were eating enough. Jaeyoung stared at the four-word message Sangwoo had sent him before calling the other party.

   Ring… ring… ring… ring… ring…

   ‘Please pick up.’

   Despite the fact that the phone was ringing incessantly, Sangwoo refused to let Jaeyoung hear the voice he wanted to hear, so Jaeyoung called again.

   Ring… ring… ring… ring…

   ‘What are you doing?’

   Jaeyoung felt angry. No, he wanted it so badly. He didn’t know why, but he had to hear that voice right now. Jaeyoung hung up before entering the voicemail system and calling again.

   [Hello… hello.]

   The end of the line crackled and responded to the seventh or eighth attempt to call, and he wasn’t sure. Jaeyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

   [What’s up? Why are you calling?]

   ‘It’s really effective.’

   He muttered to himself. When he heard Sangwoo’s voice, the anger and exhaustion he had felt just a moment ago were washed away in an instant.

   [Are you at a funeral or something?]

   “No.”

   He had already paid his respects to the deceased. He thought about helping with the funeral arrangements, but that was for tomorrow and the day after. It was like Sangwoo wouldn’t say anything and he didn’t prolong the conversation. The man on the other side hung up for sure. He hesitated to speak even though he didn’t want to.

   “Where are you?”

   [I’m at home.]

   “What are you doing?”

   [Well…doing this and that, playing games. And…um…brushing my teeth.]

   “Before that.”

   [I was writing code in my office.]

   “Alone?”

   [Yes.]

   The other side’s answer was too short. Jaeyoung wanted to hear more than that.

   “I’m not there, why did you go to the office?”

   [I have gotten into a habit of working there.]

   “…”  […]

   Jaeyoung thought that today was the only day he hated silence.

   “Sangwooya.”

   [Yes.]

   “Sangwooya.”

   [What is it?]

   “Sangwooya.”

   [Finally, you lost your mind.]

   Jaeyoung laughed softly, not thinking about hating the other party, the senseless and lifeless man who even though he heard his soft voice. He asked if he was crazy. Instead of being able to touch the abnormality, Sangwoo hated everything he did during this period. Jaeyoung smiled and decided to retreat like usual.

   “What are you wearing now?”

   [I’m wearing pajamas.]

   “I imagine you wearing pajamas and playing games and I am feeling aroused.”

   [Then just go jerk off.]

   “Help me a little, with a sexy voice like that.”

   [How so?]

   “Just use your hand to play with yourself and moan for me to hear, I think I can finish here.”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment, his expression unable to convey the emotions that were locked in his gaze.

   [I’ll just summarize it for you. You have not cummed yet.]

   “Why not?”

   […I tried earlier but it didn’t work out.]

   Caught off guard by the sudden attack, Jaeyoung burst out laughing, his laughter tinged with exhaustion, before Sangwoo retorted that laughing at a phenomenon in psychology was not appropriate.

   “What did you do when you looked at my pictures?”

   [What are you asking?”]

   “Hey, what are you looking at? Look at my face.”

   [Stop fooling around.]

   “I’m serious, where are you looking?”

   […]

   “Hurry up and answer.”

   [Well…I’ve looked at several pictures and I’ve tried doing it with my hand. I can’t remember it very well now. I feel embarrassed now, can I just leave it?]

   “No.”

   Jaeyoung had Sangwoo explain in detail the work he had done with his hand and lotion that day, while the other party spoke in a calm voice, simply closing his eyes and listening quietly.

   If there was a voice like this in a reading assistance program, it would be great. He would probably listen to it every night until he knew it by heart, or sometimes he might just listen to the voice without understanding the content at all. Jaeyoung slipped under the blanket without even changing his clothes.

   [Are you listening?]

   “Uh.”

   [Do you know that the call has been going on for over fifty minutes?]

   “No.”

   [The duration of the call has been increasing steadily lately. If this trend continues, it is highly possible that it will exceed three hours next time.]

   “Then…let it go too far.”

   [Isn’t it better not to do that?]

   “…Yeah, you’re right.”

   [Are you asleep?]

   “No…not yet.”

   [Seems like you’re getting drowsy. Hang up and go to bed.]

   “Don’t put it down. Keep talking…a little more.”

   [Why?]

   “Just keep talking…go on.”

   [That’s all for now.]

   Despite Jaeyoung’s incessant talking, complaining, and whining, it seemed like the other party was willing to listen. Towards the end, Jaeyoung couldn’t speak much because he fell asleep in the middle without turning off the light.

   ⌘W.

   The next day, Jaeyoung was busy receiving money for helping with the funeral all day long. Although the funeral was held in a province far from Seoul, there were still many guests who came to express their condolences. Although he claimed to be there as a grandson, he hated the dead uncle and was glad that he had passed away and that he wouldn’t have to see him again. If it was a job that required labor like this because that hateful uncle died, he would gladly do it.

   In the evening, the whole family gathered to eat together amidst an eerie atmosphere. Grandpa called him to talk for thirty minutes. By the time he came out, the sky was already dark. It was then that Jang Jaeyoung received a call from Jaehong.

   [Where are you? I’m almost at the hotel.]

   “Are you coming?”

   [There’s nothing else to do.]

   “Why don’t you go pay your respects to the deceased first? “

   [What’s the point of going now? I’ll go see Grandpa tomorrow. It’s better to go with Mom and you together.]

   Jaeyoung thought that it wasn’t so bad, compared to Jang Jaehong. Even though his relatives didn’t like him and tried to control him, he was still better than Jang Jaehong, who was raised by their father. They didn’t care about Jang Jaehong and didn’t consider him part of the family.

   “You’re in front of the hotel, right? I see you.”

   Shortly after hanging up, the taxi pulled up in front of Jang Jaeyoung. Then his twin brother got out of the car.

   ‘Why do I feel so annoyed seeing his face?’

   They were both the same height, looked the same, and sounded the same. When they were kids, they both couldn’t stand having someone who looked exactly like them around, so they often fought. But they were only the same on the outside, everything else was different, from their personalities, hobbies, fashion styles, way of speaking, and even their facial expressions.

   “Long time no see…Jang Jaeyoung.”

   Jaehong spoke firmly before walking towards him. On the other side, a handsome man in a perfectly fitting black suit and necktie stood, with a strong and confident appearance. Even my meticulously groomed hair was still a bit unsettling for Jaeyoung’s taste, and his accessories and shoes, which he claimed were classic, just looked old-fashioned. Who would have thought that he was still in his twenties?

   “Everything is fine, isn’t it?”

   Jaeyoung turned to exhale cigarette smoke before answering.

   “It’s always chaotic here.”

   “Who gets to sit in the executive chair?”

   “I don’t care about that party.”

   After graduating from Europe and starting to work in finance, his twin brother became very interested in social success. Therefore, even though he was looked down upon as a member of the Jang family, he still came to the Park family events without hesitation. Jaeyoung added.

   “Why are you here? It smells strange.”

   “Just taking a break. I have some free time. And I wanted to know what the situation is like.”

   Jaehong spoke as if it wasn’t important, they were similar only on the outside, the truth was very different.

   After the conversation ended, Jaehong broke the silence.

   “Do you have something to say? You must have graduated by now.”  “Well… not exactly, but it’s not something I need to talk to you about.” Jaeyoung replied curtly.

   Their relationship was not that close. Although they lived in the same house until they were twelve years old, their habits were too different to play together. While Jaeyoung liked to draw on walls, Jaehong liked to read books. Although they studied the same foreign language, Jaeyoung showed talent in speaking, while Jaehong was good at understanding. If Jaeyoung was a troublemaker who caused problems in the alley, Jaehong was a top student who was serious, to the point that the other side also had some secrets.

   “Which room do you sleep in? If the room is spacious, let me sleep with you.”

   “Don’t act useless, go rent your own room.”

   We should sleep together after this many years.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t see the point in arguing back, so he dropped the cigarette he had finished smoking on the floor and stepped on it hard. When Jaehong saw his face, he added,

   “Just kidding, just kidding.”

   At that moment, the phone in Jaeyoung’s pants pocket rang loudly. He had been working until now and didn’t know if anyone else was calling. Annoyed, Jaeyoung took out his phone, but his expression changed when he looked at the screen.

   [Incoming call, Baby.]

   Jaeyoung slid his finger to answer the call without realizing it, and then brought the communication device up to his ear. As he was about to call out the name without paying attention, he stopped because Jaehong was watching him.

   [Hyung…]

   He quickly lowered the volume, feeling that the other side’s voice was particularly loud. Then he made eye contact with Jae-hong. Jaeyoung walked past the other side and checked to make sure no one was around the building before picking up the phone again.

   “Oh, what’s up?”

   The heart was pounding just because the other side called.

   [I found a bug today, so I tried testing it…]

   Sangwoo talked about his own work with a slightly excited tone, and the meaningless words flowed through his ears, but Jaeyoung didn’t mind.

   [The performance has improved a lot. I’ll try to put it on the phone and see how great it is when you come back tomorrow night.]

   “Really? You did a great job.”

   [Yes, but to be honest, when it’s too tight, I’m not sure if I can do the unlimited mode with some features. I’m worried about that.]

   “Just cut it out and release the game.”

   [I just want to make it perfect.]

   “Let’s think about it together tomorrow night.”

   Jaeyoung leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Although he felt guilty towards Sangwoo, he didn’t care about the game at all now, he just wanted to hear the other side’s voice. Jaeyoung was too tired, still in a tense and cold state.

   [Actually, it’s just an excuse.]

   After a long silence, Sangwoo spoke up.

   “What do you mean?”

   [I tested it alone and will tell you the version later, but I just called to say hello.]

   “…”

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 68: Yellow #10.

   [Mother: Youngah, uncle passed away. – 11:32][1].

   [Mother: He will be buried on the 23rd, will you come back to have dinner together this evening? – 11:33].

   The short message made Jaeyoung feel worse. It meant that the family gathering in October would be more intense. Uncle was always the troublesome one, whether when he was alive or when he passed away. Just the thought of having to meet with the “blood relatives” made him feel even worse. But Jaeyoung replied with acknowledgement that he understood it.

   After finishing dinner and bathing, Jaeyoung removed all his earrings and changed into an outfit that would not be easily recognized. He prepared a black suit, clothes for three days, contacts, and the necessary food, and left the house at 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

   Jaeyoung started the car and called Sangwoo, but the other side did not answer. Sangwoo often kept his phone silent, so he rarely answered calls immediately.

   [Going out of town for three days – funeral – 14:02].

   He left a message and started his journey.

   After driving for three and a half hours, Jaeyoung arrived at his destination. He could smell the sea through the slightly opened window. It was still early for dinner, even though he was right by the sea. But this province was not romantically attractive at all. It felt as if a heavy stone was weighing down on him when he reached the area near the factory buildings.

   After checking in at the hotel his mother had booked, he left his belongings in the room and headed towards the room of the other party. He met his mother for the last time at the family gathering last year so this was the first time after seven months they had met. He heard a faint knock on the door, then the door opened, and a well-dressed boy appeared. Before opening the door wide with a smiling face.

   “Hello, Phii Jaeyoung!”

   “Hi.”

   Jaeyoung walked past the boy who greeted him with a ninety-degree bow and entered the room. His surname was Jang, while the boy’s surname was Park.

   Jaeyoung felt the distance between them with their different surnames.

   The mother sat at the dressing table in a black fishtail dress with offshoulder design. Both her outfit and makeup were beautifully done, like a bride.

   Jaeyoung smirked inside at the image that he didn’t know if he should mourn or shoot a gun to celebrate.

   “Youngah? You have arrived?”

   The young woman looked at herself in the mirror and then turned to look at Jaeyoung. She looked so young and handsome that it was hard to believe she would be turning fifty next year. As Jaeyoung approached, she examined his face and outfit as if inspecting. Then she shrugged and hugged him, patting his back a few times.

   “Son, you’re becoming more handsome as you grow up.”

   “What happened to Uncle?”

   “The blood vessels in his brain burst, and his heart almost stopped. He is usually so dramatic. I’ve been thinking that it has to be like this.”

   Jaeyoung paused before pulling away from his mother’s embrace and stepped back a little. Then his younger brother ran in and hugged their mother. She patted the child’s shoulder and examined her own appearance in the mirror.

   “How about your studies? How are they going?”

   “Just as I said.”

   “Are you finally going to graduate?”

   “Yeah.”

   “What is with that apathetic expression? Joo Hyuk seems to have entered a prosecutor training institution as well. If you graduate, your grandfather will probably make a big fuss again. If you finish this, will you continue studying abroad in the same country as before?”

   “Yeah.”

   “But make sure your grandpa doesn’t find out, okay?”

   Those words meant not to let relatives suspect anything. She patted her perfectly styled hair before examining her son’s face for any signs. She wiped the corner of his mouth and turned her gaze towards Jaeyoung.

   “Young-ah, your uncle died. You know that there will be a big fuss again.

   You yourself have earned a lot of points to earn a place with your grandfather.

   We don’t know what will happen.”

   Jaeyoung chuckled without saying anything. The eldest uncle inherited the grandfather’s business and was the one who received the most inheritance.

   Now he’s gone, and there will probably be a dispute over that division.

   “Is there enough money?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Hong, hasn’t he contacted you? Is he in Korea?”

   “I don’t know.”

   Jaeyoung tried to check his mobile phone but found no calls or messages.

   From Jang Jaehong, after checking his message reply saying “I understand.” From Sangwoo, he put his mobile phone back in his bag.

   “If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave.”

   “Um, let’s pay respects at the hospital first. Let’s meet for lunch at 1pm.

   Don’t be late, okay?”

   Jaeyoung turned around and heard the voice of a boy shouting after him,

   “Goodbye, Phii Jaeyoung!”

   Jaeyoung didn’t go to lunch late. Even if he was always late no matter where he went, there’s only one exception here.

   The lowest quality humans in the world gathered together in a grand hall illuminated by dim lights from crystal-decorated chandeliers hanging from the high white ceilings. Classical music was also being performed. Everyone sat around the large table without speaking. As soon as the old man entered, they all stood up and moved towards him. “Grandpa, why are you so strong? I miss you, grandpa. It’s been a while since you looked so young,” Jaeyoung sat in his usual place, looking at his mother’s son who was holding the old man’s hand.

   His grandfather was a gentleman of taste. His gray colored tailored suit looked great on his still strong figure, it was as sharp as a blade, matching his handmade black leather shoes. Below that, from his wristwatch, he displayed his high-quality cufflinks[2] which reflected his wealth, and on the finger of his left hand was a wedding ring that he never took off, despite his wife’s passing. His hair, which was mixed with white, was smoothly combed back. It’s not easy for someone over seventy years old to look this good.

   The old man sat down and swept his gaze around the large dining table. He loved the gathering of his large family, which included people from his own clan. His eyes glanced around the table, which had no one missing without a proper reason “everyone was present except for the funeral host, his wife’s large sister, his son-in-law who went to work in another province, and his two other nieces and nephews”, until he spotted Jaeyoung. Their eyes met and they exchanged playful glances.

   “Has the puppy come?”

   Jaeyoung walked over to the man with his arms crossed, smiling in his eyes. As he got closer, he smelled the familiar scent of cologne and the strong lingering smell of cigarettes that never changed since he was a child. Jaeyoung liked the scent of the other person. The warm and strong hug of his grandfather was different from his mother’s hug. With a sigh, he felt like he was transported back to his childhood.

   “Yes, I’m here now.”

   “I really miss you.”

   The man who never felt embarrassed to express his feelings whispered.

   “I feel the same way.”

   Jaeyoung spoke sincerely from his heart. This man is the only one he likes here. If it weren’t for his grandfather, Jaeyoung wouldn’t have to tread into this place. As he returned to his seat, the jealous eyes subtly glanced at his face.

   While the food was being served, the exchange of conversations followed the protocol. However, these were all insincere words. For example, “Still youthful, why did you come back so quickly?” The company lost a highly capable employee as a result. However, once the main course was served, nobody mentioned the person who had died. Because the hot-tempered and manipulative man was everyone’s enemy from the beginning. Even his grandfather didn’t like him.

   And so, This Kid Is Great phase arrived, or a period of promoting one’s own children. The three children of the old man brought their own children to show off and eagerly looked for any opportunity to impress. Among all these people, his mother was the most enthusiastic.

   “This child is very smart. I wonder if he is as smart as your grandfather. He also got into the Advanced Class. And he got into the first place too, you know.”

   “Oh, really? What is this child’s name then?”

   “His name is Soongmin. He died, now everyone should remember him, right?”

   The old grandfather valued his family and the importance of love, and he viewed the world in a democratic way. Therefore, he treated his married daughter as an outsider and did not care about relatives without the Shin surname.

   “When will Youngah go abroad to study?”

   The only exception was Jaeyoung, who came as the old man youngest’s daughter after divorcing. This grandfather had been watching him since he was a child because he looked so much like him. After the mother remarried, Jaeyoung’s position in the family became problematic. So his grandfather took him in and raised him at home, forming a bond.

   “In July.”

   “It won’t be long now. What should this old man do if he misses his puppy when he goes to America?”

   When his grandfather openly expressed his love, the sound of coughing increased from all directions. Then, various voices of praise followed, full of insincerity like “I really miss him”, “How can we wait until he finishes studying?”, “No matter where Jaeyoung goes, he will surely do well.”

   However, as soon as the grandfather left his seat temporarily, the atmosphere changed immediately.

   “So what have you been doing during this time?”

   An aunt who just got hair done in the mall asked, and the husband from the other party is a doctor. Their daughter is also a doctor and their son-in-law is also a doctor. As for their son, he is on his way to becoming a prosecutor. They all have a sense of superiority and arrogance. The older sister, who is both a sister and a cousin, wore branded clothes from head to toe and proudly said,

   “I heard that you were supposed to graduate last year.”

   “There are still things to catch up on, so I will continue my studies next semester.”

   The mother’s face that asked to keep this matter a secret began to wrinkle as Jaeyoung skillfully lied without feeling the need to do so.

   “So you’re still a student, huh? Our Joohyuk has been accepted into a training institute.”

   The uncle in-law thought his insult would leave Jaeyoung speechless, but

   Jaeyoung had undergone training like a pig or a dog. He was unaffected by such attacks.

   “If Joohyuk had gone to the military like me, then he would also be continuing studying like me.”

   “Seriously, look at this kid. How many kids can go straight to the military like this?”

   The Younger Sister in law helped to support him. Because her own son couldn’t pass the military exemption policy either. So Jaeyoung laughed and turned the conversation back.

   “There might be more people with diseases in their 20s. Your grandfather is still worried about how Eunsong can work with lung disease at this age.”

   The table went silent. Both Aunt and Aunt in-law did not withdraw their investments from this attack. Because their grandfather was a “nationalist.” He didn’t like it when his grandchildren took shortcuts to evade their responsibilities in protecting the country.

   “Jaeyoung, are you still doing that? Drawing pictures on the ceiling tiles.”

   Now it’s the youngest uncle who joined the group. This person is an alcoholic, not very bright, and always fails in every business attempt. Now he’s just a useless person working under the distribution company that his grandfather established.

   “Does this mean doing graffiti? I have been doing it as a hobby all the time, perhaps?”

   “After graduating, you might work drawing pictures in exchange for money. Why don’t you draw my face? Maybe you’d want payment for some pocket money.”

   The other party reached into his shirt pocket, took out a marker, and threw it in front of Jaeyoung. Jaeyoung replied without hesitation.

   “Uncle, maybe you can try selling phones to me. It’s time for me to change my phone, so I’m thinking whether to buy it or not to spare the waste of a salesman.”

   Then the uncle cursed him, saying, “You useless brat.” His daughter and son quickly grabbed his arms to hold him back. The aunt also helped, saying that it’s because he has diluted family blood. Even though his mother’s face turned pale with anger, she was oppressed in every aspect. Age, assets, and social status. In a place filled with only strong people like this, her right to speak almost didn’t exist.

   ________________________________________.

[1]      Young-ah comes from  ”Young,” which is a nickname for Jaeyoung, and “Ah” “아”  is a suffix used to call family members or close friends. It’s used at the end  of a spelled name.

[2]      Cufflinks, one of the accessories for men, are used to connect the cuffs of a shirt instead of using buttons.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 67: Yellow #9.

   After finishing their meal, both of them got up without saying anything.

   Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo, who took out a black debit card from his wallet at the corner of the table to pay for the meal. Although everything belonging to the other party, including the wallet, clothes, hat, wristwatch, and sneakers, looked clean but old, it seemed that the guy was not picky, but just not extravagant.

   “Come on, let’s go together.”

   At the restaurant entrance, Jaeyoung held Sangwoo’s arm before the other party could leave. They looked at each other. The other party tried to speak first with a hesitant expression, but no matter what, he would refuse, after going here and there with Sangwoo for several months. Jaeyoung began to be able to force the other party, speaking calmly.

   “You threw my shirt yesterday, didn’t you?”

   “So what?”

   “If so, I guess I have to buy more clothes.”

   “I guess so.”

   “I’ll go buy it now, and you have to come and see if it suits me.”

   His expressionless face suddenly turned into a frown. Jaeyoung guessed what the other party was thinking before smiling and reassuring him.

   “If I buy something strange and waste money, you have to take responsibility for it.”

   “What are you talking about?”

   Sangwoo frowned at Jaeyoung before widening his eyes and thinking of something. The other party remained silent for a moment before speaking up.  “I understand. If we’re going, let’s hurry up.”

   Jaeyoung was surprised by his good luck that exceeded his expectations, and walked towards the nearby shopping mall with Sangwoo, who was grinning from ear to ear. This was the first time he had seen the other party show off his good mood. Jaeyoung was intrigued.

   “You’re funny, hyung.” Sangwoo chuckled as they crossed the zebra crossing.

   “Why?”

   “I just asked you to buy it for me. There’s no need to beat around the bush like that.”

   “…”

   “I already said I’ll buy it for you. Do you think I’m lying?”

   Jaeyoung couldn’t control his facial expression and covered his mouth, laughing quietly.

   “Come on, let’s go. I’ll buy myself some nice clothes.”

   The young man jogged to catch up with Sangwoo, who was walking briskly ahead.

   Since it was a weekend, the shopping mall was crowded. Sangwoo, who looked like a student, didn’t seem to fit in with the perfume and cosmetics stores that were bustling behind them, so they climbed down the escalator to the sports equipment and casual wear zone on the third floor.

   After walking in and out of a few stores and scanning their surroundings, Jaeyoung dragged Sangwoo into a jeans outlet before being scolded for looking at jeans despite leaving his t-shirt behind. He quickly looked for a pair of usable jeans, looking for bright colors as the main criteria. When he picked out a pair of gray jeans that were almost white, Sangwoo’s facial expression didn’t seem to be pleased.

   “What’s wrong with these?”

   “The knee is torn.”

   “Just that?”

   Although it was a small flaw that was almost invisible, the other party always seemed to notice it and was dissatisfied. Jaeyoung gave up on that pair of jeans and looked for another, but no matter which one he picked, there was always some defect, such as an odd-shaped pocket or a stiff zipper.

   “Here, this one is okay.”

   “That one is okay too.”

   He picked up a plain beige pair of trousers and a black denim pair, draped them over his arm, and prepared to tell the cashier to ring them up. Meanwhile, Jaeyoung was left gaping at a particular pair of pants that caught his eye.

   They were a light blue pair of slim-fit jeans that resembled the color of the sky. He measured them with his eyes and quickly inspected every part of them – one button, no rips or tears, a normal pocket, and the stitching looked tight and good. If he folded the pants a little to reveal the ankle, it felt like blood was rushing to his head. Jaeyoung was excited and quickly went into the fitting room to change and show the other party.

   “Sangwoo! Sangwoo! Look at this, is this pretty?”

   Sangwoo, who was hugging his chest and looking elsewhere, walked closer and looked at Jaeyoung’s lower half.

   “It’s too bright… but it’s okay for you to wear. But it seems a bit small, buy one size bigger than this.”

   This was considered a special permission… Jaeyoung smiled and went back to change his clothes and came out again holding the three pants to the cashier. Sangwoo took out his card and made a gesture to hand it over. Jaeyoung pushed his arm to the side and handed his own credit card to the salesperson.

   “What’s going on?”

   “You will be buying something more expensive.”

   Sangwoo’s face turned sour, but there was no time now… Jaeyoung grabbed the other party’s shoulder, and they headed to another store. After walking past several stores without finding anything, they arrived at a high-quality Tshirt store. There were various T-shirts hanging on racks, walls, and mannequins. Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s shoulder, who seemed uninterested in this store, and directed him to look at the hanging T-shirts.

   “You should look too, maybe there’s something you can wear.”

   “Anything looks good on you.”

   He didn’t mean it that way. Jaeyoung kept picking out T-shirts one after another – a red T-shirt, a cute T-shirt with a pocket on the chest, a formal Tshirt with buttons, and a yellow T-shirt that reminded him of a baby chick. Although he wanted to make the other party try on every T-shirt, Sangwoo criticized everything Jaeyoung picked out.

   “There’s too much pattern.”

   “The sleeves are weird.”

   “It’s too short.”

   “Too thick.”

   “Too thin.”

   The other party argued and refused to cooperate as expected. Jaeyoung couldn’t help but pick out two or three white T-shirts, sorting out the ones that were too thin or too thick, had faded patterns, or missing stitches, until only one white V-neck T-shirt was left. Jaeyoung examined the T-shirt carefully. It was made of good quality fabric, had a comfortable design that revealed his collarbone, and had black lines around the deep neckline.

   ‘Is this the shirt made for Chu Sangwoo?’

   Jaeyoung tried the shirt on Sangwoo’s body. Then he immediately picked up a green and red striped shirt of the same design and paid for it. This time, Sangwoo missed the opportunity to pay again. Once out of the store, he complained quietly.

   “Why did you bring me here if it’s going to be like this?”

   “You’re the carry thing one.” Jaeyoung replied, sending all the shopping bags to Sangwoo. Although he had a dissatisfied expression, Sangwoo took the bag and followed quietly, checking the time on his phone. His heart was getting hotter. Jaeyoung walked into a large men’s clothing brand store and explored the men’s section.

   “Welcome! May I know which style you prefer?”

   The male staff walked over to greet them cheerfully. When Sangwoo pointed to Jaeyoung, the staff said that there was a suitable item for the customer and took out various styles from the shelf.

   “What style are you interested in?”

   “I want something that looks good.”

   “Then, how about this one? This is the most popular short-legged underwear style among teenagers nowadays. It is made of special fine fiber fabric, has a good butt-lifting effect, and feels tight. The edge has a highlight.

   Touch the fabric. It feels very sexy, doesn’t it? I think it suits you very well.”

   Jaeyoung turned to look at Sangwoo, who had been standing far away without pointing or moving. When he was sure that the other party was not going anywhere, he pulled out the short-legged underwear that the staff handed over to him. It was a good quality underwear with no highlights other than the brand name embroidered on the edge. The fabric was smooth and comfortable to wear. Jaeyoung aimed at the underwear before speaking hesitantly.

   “You are quite big down there. Is this not too small?”

   Although the staff looked at him like he was crazy, he recommended size L. After paying for a set of five underwear, he threw the box to Sangwoo, who took it and put it in the bag.

   “Why did you buy pants? And taking my stuff should be enough.”

   “It’s my business.”

   With little time left, while feeling regretful and preparing to leave, Jaeyoung was stopped in front of the wall of the store full of baseball caps, making it impossible for him to pass by casually. Jaeyoung dragged Sangwoo, who was looking at his wristwatch, to stop in front of the paradise of caps.

   “Choose quickly, please.”

   “There are already so many caps. Should I buy something else?”

   What did he expect from the other party? Jaeyoung looked at the display shelf carefully, cutting out logos of big baseball teams, special shapes, cutting them out, too flashy colors, cutting them out, black caps are worn every day.

   Cut them out, cut them out, cut them out, so there were only a few caps left.

   “What about this one?”

   Jaeyoung picked up the white snapback cap on top to look at it. Although there was an abbreviation of the name of the baseball team pinned on it, it was difficult to see because it was white like the background if the fabric was not too thin or too thick, and the shape was beautiful.

   “What about this one?”

   “It’s okay.”

   “Really?”

   Although he chose his clothes confidently, knowing Sangwoo’s size well, for the cap, it was difficult to guess without trying it on. Jaeyoung quickly took off the black cap before Sangwoo could refuse and put on the white cap.

   ‘What is it?’

   Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo standing still, just changing the color of the cap, he felt that the appearance of the other party looked fresher. Although it seemed a bit big, just adjusting the snapback strap should be fine.

   “It suits you well, it’s cute.”

   Jaeyoung tried to persuade himself that he wanted to hug the person in front of him right now. Then he took off the cap again, quickly paid and stuffed the cap into a bag. Meanwhile, Sangwoo only looked at his wristwatch with an uneasy face.

   “All set. Let’s go now.”

   “You must be rich. You can buy unnecessary clothes like this all at once.”

   “It’s necessary.”

   Sangwoo laughed and teased openly, making those who wore tight sevenpiece shirts and three-piece pants feel ridiculous. Hearing his words, they must have felt amused. Now, there were only thirty minutes left before parttime work began. They hurriedly descended the stairs to the first floor, secretly thinking that the other party might crack a joke about what they were wearing, but Sangwoo did not say anything except for opening an app on his phone to check the bus schedule.

   “My legs hurt so much, please hail me a taxi.”

   “Did the person with the sore legs walk around shopping for clothes for an hour and a half?”

   Jaeyoung pretended to be sick with a pitiful face, he coughed for a moment, and when he straightened up, he met Sangwoo who was staring at him smoking.

   “Is it only your legs? How about your lungs, with all that screaming last night.”

   “[Ka-hk]! Ka… ugh!”

   “Are you really not feeling well?”

   “Ugh.”

   “It’s okay. I can’t help you anyway.”

   Sangwoo stood on the roadside and hailed a taxi himself before turning to call Jaeyoung to get in the car. When they got in the car, he saw the other party trying to leave, so he pulled the other’s arm and brought him into the taxi.

   Jaeyoung quickly closed the door and told the driver to head to the train station near the game store. Then the taxi started moving. Sangwoo sat up from where he was lying on the seat and complained.

   “Huh. Really… Why are you so irritable today? And I keep speaking ambiguously.”

   “Why?”

   “I know that you hyung is always like this, but today you are worse than usual.”

   It’s no use. When he thought there was no time left, he became impatient. Jaeyoung leaned back on the seat with a bitter feeling. When he looked at the bag of clothes, he suddenly felt suffocated. This was not enough. Jaeyoung wanted to give Sangwoo more than this.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “What’s wrong?”

   “Nothing.”

   He rubbed his wrist with a calm face before turning away.

   Jaeyoung wanted to try choosing a long coat for Sangwoo to wear in the autumn, a down jacket for him to wear when climbing mountains in the winter, and a cardigan for him to wear in the fruit leaf season. He wanted to buy various types of sneakers, in various colors, and from various brands for the smallfooted person like a child to wear. He wanted to take the other party to a hair salon and try different hairstyles.

   “I had noodles today. Next time, I want to eat Jampang [1], a ten-dish set, Peking duck, curry, Burmese tea leaf salad, Budae [2] steamed fish, I want to eat them all together. Just thinking about it, Jaeyoung felt breathless.”

   “But today was a good surprise.”

   “What?”

   “It’s a real holiday, but so many people like to dress up and gather together.

   I was surprised.”

   Jaeyoung smiled slightly and glanced at Sangwoo. Sangwoo sat still, then raised his hand above his head and pulled Jaeyoung’s hand down to hold it. When the other party naturally intertwined their fingers, the sadness and regret they received from that party yesterday were erased. Jaeyoung looked out the window with a calm face, but his expectations made his heart beat faster. If this isn’t a taxi, he would probably park the car now. Then he pushed the other party to lie down and kissed him.

   “Being with you hyung, it feels like I’ve tried something new all the time, because when I bought clothes with my mom, it didn’t take this long.”

   “So is it good or not?”

   “There are good and bad and if I have to be honest… Oh, we’re here. I’ll get off here.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t hear the word “good” because the taxi arrived near the internet cafe. Sangwoo opened his wallet, took out two ten-thousand won bills, and handed them to the taxi driver.

   “This is for the fare. Please send this person home.”

   After speaking, he handed two ten-thousand won bills to Jaeyoung.

   “This is for the T-shirt. I’ll go now.”

   The other party is also meticulous. Jaeyoung took the money and put it in his wallet before putting all the shopping bags in Sangwoo’s hand.

   “These are all yours, take them.”

   “What?”

   “I bought them for you to wear.”

   Sangwoo was half-standing and half-sitting at the open taxi door, looking at the shopping bag without putting it down, and then looked at Jaeyoung with a tense face.

   “No, I can’t accept this. Take it back.”

   “You sound like Geum Jan Di [3].”

   Jaeyoung took out several torn receipts from his pants pocket and pushed Sangwoo out with the shopping bag.

   “That’s for last night’s accommodation, have a good rest.”

   Then he closed the door in front of Sangwoo, whose face was painted with shock until he couldn’t speak. After giving his address, the taxi drove away again. Outside the window, the silhouette of Sangwoo, who looked like a broken robot, gradually receded until the image of the other party became small and insignificant. Jaeyoung then turned his gaze away from the window and sat up straight, the sense of relief and disappointment he felt last night fading away unnoticed.

   ______________________________________________________________

   ____.

[1]           Jampang, spicy seafood soup noodles.

[2]           Budaegiji-gae, Korean hot pot.

[3]           Geum Jan-di, the heroine of the Korean drama “Boys Over Flowers”, F4, Korean version.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 66: Yellow #8.

   ‘Are we going to be fuck buddies?’

   ‘Yes.’

   ‘Um, well… let’s try it out.’

   There wasn’t really any problem at first, but it was clear that it was too good to be true. However, when he thought about Sangwoo possibly starting a relationship with someone else in the future, he felt so bad that he couldn’t stand it.

   Jaeyoung felt a strong contradiction with his own feelings, causing him to have a headache. As Sangwoo said they went back and forth to vent their emotions and drain their balls with each other, that was the reality. On the other hand, the confusion that Jaeyoung was feeling now was different, it was an error.

   “Are you leaving now?”

   Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung with a puzzled expression. Seeing his face, it seemed like he was going to leave. No matter how you looked at it, he seemed like a child who wasn’t mature enough to have love. I don’t know anything about the complex emotional exchange between humans, even if Jaeyoung explained his feelings right now. The other party probably wouldn’t understand anything.

   “Are you going to go?”

   But as he met Sangwoo’s gaze, Jaeyoung felt like his anger was slowly fading away. Even though the other party’s words were not pleasant to hear, it was due to ignorance, so he couldn’t blame Chu Sangwoo. Besides, the other party didn’t say anything that was unreasonable.

   ‘Is it really possible? How can we tie one person to us?’

   Generally, love is said to have a lifespan of six months before it expires. In Jaeyoung’s case, it was much shorter. There were countless relationships that ended within a month. Although this type of relationship was never experienced before, he knew that even the intense feelings he was experiencing now would soon fade away. If that was the case, it would be good for Sangwoo himself to not have any unrealistic expectations and believe that what he was feeling was a feeling that he had never experienced before, and that it was a love that fate was predetermined.

   It must be calm, clear, and not cross the line.

   But this is not the time to worry about others. Sometimes, people are caught up in a dream and believe that what they are feeling is something they have never experienced before, and it may be a love that fate has predetermined, even if it may be for themselves. Jaeyoung felt a bitter taste in his mouth after just brushing his teeth.

   Something in the middle. Not all, proceed, or stop. A yellow light that is not green or red. Jaeyoung did not like anything that was ambiguous like that.

   ‘Just interested in the feeling right now is enough.’

   Jaeyoung slowly lay down again before raising his hand to stroke Sangwoo’s smooth face and planting a kiss on his forehead. The other side looked suspicious.

   “Don’t worry about the future, just think about the present.”

   “I’m not like some people.”

   “That’s funny. And I don’t know what someone like that would do to me when he is naked.”

   “That’s because I was tricked by you, hyung.”

   “So what. Do you feel regret?”

   Sangwoo looked into Jaeyoung’s eyes and shook his head slowly before leaning in for another embrace. Jaeyoung took a deep breath and used his palm to stroke the other’s back and shoulders, instead of worrying about the future that he didn’t know how it would be, he chose to live in the present, that is

   Jaeyoung’s way of life. At this moment, he wanted to do everything for Sangwoo.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “Yes.”

   “You don’t want anything? just my sneakers, watch, and hat.”

   “No, just bring the hat I left in the car last Friday.”

   “Or something else, graphics card, monitor, portable hard drive.”

   “That’s enough. People who don’t know about computers will not be involved in anything, and the seniors don’t know how expensive it is.”

   “…”

   The conversation ended there. Sangwoo probably wanted to sleep.

   Jaeyoung closed his eyes, his body exhausted from the intense love making.

   “I want Veggie Venturer to be successful.”

   In that context, Sangwoo suddenly perked up, as if it was the answer to the question of what he wanted. Jaeyoung hesitated before answering.

   “Based on what we’ve done so far, the output [1] can be used.”

   “That’s not enough. It has to be popular and accepted by people.”

   That was a strange statement, because in reality, indie games cannot expect market results and therefore it is difficult to sell a lot. It is enough to use it to enhance the quality of the portfolio, but why does someone who never wanted anything become obsessed with gaining popularity in the market?

   “Why though?”

   Sangwoo hesitated to answer. He probably didn’t want to answer anymore, but he knew that if he kept being asked, he would eventually give in, especially when Jaeyoung was about to ask again. So, Sangwoo continued, “Because it’s a game that I made with you. When I think about it, I feel really good that it was a huge success and was well-received as intended. I want to feel that way again.”

   “What is it? Do you think I’ll be impressed by you talking like that?”

   But judging from the feeling in his chest, he was probably really impressed.

   Jaeyoung already knew that Chu Sangwoo, who didn’t understand romantic relationships in the way of couples, liked him in his own way, including saving pictures, playlists, remembering eye contact and shoe sizes, as well as being obsessed with work beyond necessity, not just because of his tendency to cling to perfection.

   Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s chin and kissed him on the same organ, the skin of his lips that had been relentlessly rubbed all night, still soft and moist as before. He kissed and sucked lightly, kissing, kissing, kissing. Then Sangwoo smiled and closed his eyes.

   He changed his gaze to the shape of his lips, which had changed slightly. Then he kissed loudly, kissing, kissing. Once again, he found that Sangwoo’s hand was holding Jaeyoung’s cheek, and the tongues of both were intertwined, along with the changed lips. The gentle bird kiss [2]turned into a passionate French kiss. He didn’t know if it was the feeling or the desire that made the sensation that arose from the touch hotter than the body temperature. Jaeyoung was once again obsessed with Sangwoo with a confused feeling, while thinking that today’s performance left him sated, but the feeling of wanting another round with Sangwoo was still compressed in his stomach.

   Sangwoo, who had spoken like that about being human and having enough sex for today, forgot his own words and set his mind to draw Jaeyoung’s tongue, and the tongues of both were intertwined, along with the changed lips. The romantic kiss lasted longer than expected. Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo away before the stimulated emotions became too intense. The other party licked his lips with a regretful expression that showed through his eyes. He then used his finger to wipe the saliva from the corner of Sangwoo’s mouth.

   “I guess I’m not human. I lack human qualities.”

   Jaeyoung smiled and pinched Sangwoo’s nose with his finger.

   “It’s a shame that we’ve run out of condoms.”

   “Should I go buy some?”

   “You won’t be able to walk tomorrow, but if you want to go, go ahead.”

   “I’ll have someone at work get them for us. I’ll think about paying them.”

   He had to hold onto the person who responded to the joke tightly so that the other party wouldn’t leave. Although Jaeyoung was in a state of reduced human qualities, he didn’t even have the strength to move one arm, so he wanted to sleep.

   “Good night.”

   Sangwoo ran his fingers through Jaeyoung’s hair before planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Jaeyoung’s lips curved into a wide smile, as if the man he was dating like to imitate whatever he encountered. Jaeyoung squirmed quietly, avoiding Sangwoo’s gaze as he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, afraid that if he spoke what was on his mind right now, he would be kicked out of the room with just his pants on.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “…Yes.”

   The other side replied with a half-asleep, half-awake voice.

   If he said what was in his head right now, he would definitely run out of the room in just his underwear. Jaeyoung curled up quietly and pulled Sangwoo, who was lying on his back staring at the ceiling to sleep, into a hug.

   ⌘W.

   When he woke up in the morning, Jaeyoung felt a throbbing headache. He looked up at the ceiling, which was blurry and flickering, and when he turned his head to the side, he caught Sangwoo’s gaze, who had propped his chin on his arm and was looking at him.

   ‘I guess we should stay here. Really.’

   When he looked at the clock on the wall, it was already eleven o’clock.

   “Did you sleep well?”

   “I’m so tired that I slept like a log and didn’t feel anything.”

   “Are you feeling better today?”

   “I don’t feel great, but I’m not so bad that I can’t move.”

   Jaeyoung felt both nauseous and had a headache. He wasn’t in a state to worry about anyone else, so he drank a little alcohol, not much, but mixed several things together and was still energetic all night.

   It seemed like he was about to faint without realizing it. Sangwoo, who was curious about his expression, asked.

   “What’s wrong?”

   “I have a headache.”

   “Then go home and rest.”

   It seemed like the other party was trying to drive him out of his own space, but he didn’t want to separate from the person in front of him. Jaeyoung pondered for a moment before finding an excuse.

   “Can you buy me lunch?”

   “Why should I buy you lunch?”

   “I did so well yesterday, so you have to repay me, right? Yesterday, you rushed me and said, ‘Hyung’ go deeper. It was…”

   Sangwoo jumped up on the bed and eagerly covered his mouth. Jaeyoung took the opportunity to hug him and speak softly.

   “Look, you’re in the mood for another round again this morning. Let me find something to eat first before doing anything else. Don’t you know why the mistress gave food to the salvage[3]?”

   “It’s not like that!”

   Sangwoo frowned and slipped out of bed before stalking away to another corner of the room to speak.

   “I understand. Yesterday… well… it was good, so I’ll feed you from now on.”

   Jaeyoung smiled and walked to the bathroom, taking a quick shower before getting dressed and realizing that he had left his T-shirt behind. As for his pants, he couldn’t find them.

   “Where did you hide my pants?”

   “I have taken them to the laundry..”

   “Really? You’re like a carpenter who stole the wings of a goddess [4], but you did nothing wrong.”

   “You’re so kind, keep acting like this. What’s the difference between you and a python that ate the farmer who saved its life, right?”

   The other party frowned. Jaeyoung walked to the hanger and examined the few clothes that he could wear. He felt familiar with the hanger because he had seen it often.

   While he was examining the colorless clothes on the hanger, Sangwoo moved closer and spoke with a serious expression.

   “If you borrow it this time, you have to return it. Do you understand?

   Promise me.”

   “I understand.”

   Jaeyoung replied without thinking and picked out a dark green shirt and black linen pants. He looked at the tag and found that the pants were size 32 and the shirt was size 105 ‘L’ he didn’t know why the size was M, but he liked to wear oversized clothes like this.

   “Don’t you have a white T-shirt?”

   “I don’t buy white shirts because they get dirty easily.”

   ‘It would look really good on him.’

   He complained inwardly as he put his legs into the pants. Once he put on the straight-leg pants, he felt like a nerd. The shirt that used to look loose and sloppy on Sangwoo now fits perfectly on Jaeyoung’s shoulders. The young man unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves twice. Once he tucked in his shirt and looked at himself, he realized that he didn’t look too bad.

   Sangwoo pursed his lips slightly and looked at Jaeyoung admiringly. He already knew what style the other party liked. If he dressed formally or neatly without glasses, the other party would look at him like that all the time.

   “You can stop staring now. You’re going to make a hole.”

   “…It doesn’t look like my clothes.”

   “Hope you like it. Want to go once more?”

   As he moved closer and placed his hand on his waist, Sangwoo’s face turned red and he looked angry.

   “No time! I have to hurry up and eat before going to my part-time job.”

   “Just put it on quickly, be confident.”

   “Crazy, why do that?”

   As he leaned in and whispered in his ear, Sangwoo pushed him away hard before walking away towards the door.

   When they came out of the apartment, the sun was shining in the middle of the sky. The weather was clear and hot like summer, they walked together on the main road before hailing a taxi.

   Jaeyoung pulled Sangwoo to sit on the back seat and sat next to him, telling the driver their destination. Then he leaned back and lightly touched the hand of the person next to Sangwoo, without shaking his hand, just looking straight ahead without saying anything.

   They went to eat at the Vietnamese noodle shop where Jaeyoung was a regular. Jaeyoung ordered beef noodles while Sangwoo ordered fried rice.

   After drinking hot soup, he felt better.

   “It’s better like this.”

   Jaeyoung leaned back in his chair and looked up at the yellow ceiling before turning his gaze to the person sitting in front of him, wearing a cap like a singer, a checkered shirt that was a highlight of the engineering student’s dark jeans that he wondered when it was made. He looked past the clothing and looked at the person wearing it instead.

   The other person was eating with a focused expression, closing his mouth tightly while chewing on the left cheek, then the right cheek. The person in front of him was just eating, but he couldn’t take his eyes off him. If he ate a little messily, he might have touched his cheek, claiming to wipe it off, but the other person was not clumsy, so that wouldn’t happen. At that moment, Sangwoo raised his head slightly and made eye contact with Jaeyoung.

   “Why?”

   Jaeyoung scooped a spoonful of Sangwoo’s bowl without saying anything and ate a bite, seeing the other person eating with a calm expression. He thought the taste was not bad, but the spicy chicken fried rice was the only dish with a good taste.

   “How’s the taste?”

   “I don’t know. The spice smell is too strong.”

   “I mean, do you want to eat more?”

   “Um… yes.”

   “So it’s delicious, huh?”

   “It’s not just that.”

   Sangwoo spoke with his mouth full and started eating again. Jaeyoung let the other party eat, while he finished his own noodles. He had a good plan. If he wanted to act before Sangwoo went to his part-time job, he had to hurry.

   ____________________________________.

[1]      Output. Information, product, or something obtained from the production process that is exported from the computer circuit to display on peripheral devices, such as a monitor.

[2]      Bird, kiss. A light kiss that makes a “smooch” sound like when a bird pecks.

[3]      Why did the woman give rice to the salvage? It comes from a vintage drama, which is about a woman who shared food among male slaves to show her interest and desire for a relationship.

[4]      The Carpenter Who Stole the Fairy’s Wings. It comes from a story about a carpenter who stole the wings of a fairy in hopes of keeping her as his wife.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 65: Yellow #7.

   “We should be done now. I feel like I’ve lost a little bit of my humanity.”

   Sangwoo wiped his wet hair with a towel and prepared the bed because right after he came the second time. Then he went to take a shower and was pushed by the other party against the wall for another round. Jaeyoung thought that he had emptied everything and there was nothing left in his balls.

   “That’s it, stop jumping and egging me.”

   “That is funny, we had sex together and cummed together, why do you point fingers at me?”

   Sangwoo spoke boldly, wearing only pants and a patterned pajama set, ready to sleep. Jaeyoung looked at the other person before moving closer and using his thumb to trace the red mark on Sangwoo’s neck. Sangwoo didn’t like the aroused look on his face and threw a towel at him.

   “Go far away.”  “Just looking.”

   “Don’t believe it. Earlier, you said you just wanted to help me rubbing soap.”

   “Oh, did you attain enlightenment? Why do people who see the truth like this act like that in the bathroom, huh, hyung, fuck me… Faster, faster.”

   “Get out of my house now.”

   Jaeyoung laughed at those words. He didn’t take them seriously. Sangwoo stepped into the bathroom, put toothpaste on his brush, and held it in his mouth.

   “Can I have a toothbrush?”

   “Go back to your place and use yours.”

   “If I don’t brush now, it’ll be dirty.”

   Sangwoo just looked at the comb in Jaeyoung’s hair and continued brushing his teeth. Jaeyoung pretended to be lazy and said:

   “If you don’t give it to me, I’ll just use yours. It’s no big deal.”

   Sangwoo rolled his eyes with an annoyed face before picking up a toothbrush that hadn’t been opened yet and throwing it to Jaeyoung.

   “Spoiled.”

   Jaeyoung opened the toothbrush and put toothpaste on it before standing next to Sangwoo. Sangwoo stood straight like a soldier who had just finished training, unlike Jaeyoung who leaned against the wall with one hand. As they passed each other in the mirror, Jaeyoung playfully winked, but Sangwoo pretended not to see it. He had already switched to his “normal” mode.

   After Sangwoo left, Jaeyoung was the only one left in the empty bathroom. This was the first time he had ever seen such a simple bathroom. There was only a toothbrush, toothpaste, a roll of tissue, soap, and shampoo.

   Let’s think about it. Everything in this room is like this: one chair, one bowl of rice, one glass of water, and one set of spoon and chopsticks, as if to show the style of the owner who doesn’t easily welcome anyone.

   When he finished brushing their teeth, Jaeyoung put his toothbrush in the same glass as Sangwoo’s. Then he felt that the bathroom looked a little less empty than before.

   Exiting the bathroom, he found himself face to face with Sangwoo who was sweeping the room. On the other side, he picked up scattered rubber condom and rubber packets and threw them away before picking up the red geometric patterned Neo Prin shirt [1] that Jaeyoung had worn for consideration. The tight-necked shirt was stained with sweat and white smudges of cum.

   “I guess I’ll have to throw it away.”

   “I’m partly responsible, I’ll buy you a new one.”

   “No need.”

   “It’s okay. I’ll pay for the damages, about 20,000 won[2] right?”

   That was Jaeyoung’s most beloved shirt, which was ten times more expensive. It was also a limited edition that could no longer be purchased, but he didn’t say anything. When he finished cleaning the room, Sangwoo drank a glass of water before looking at Jaeyoung.

   “Can I borrow your shirt?”

   Jaeyoung now only had a towel around his waist. He searched in the drawer and took out Sangwoo’s pants quietly, even though he complained about wearing the same one he wore last time. But he let it pass.

   “You can’t go back like this, can you?”

   “I’ll stay and go back later.”

   “Who’s told you that you will be staying?”

   Sangwoo grumbled and lay down on the bed. It was almost three o’clock now. For Jaeyoung, who often stayed up late, it might not be a big deal, but for Sangwoo, it was time to sleep. Jaeyoung turned off the light before slipping under the blanket.

   “Are you serious?”

   “Uh.”

   “But this bed is for one person only, it can’t hold the weight of…”

   “If it was going to break, it would have broken by now, how long have we been fucking around on this bed, come on, be quiet and lie down.”

   Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo’s neck down to rest on his arm. Sangwoo blinked as if he was thinking about something, but in the end, he turned over and lay down on his side, as if giving up his thoughts. The other side lay with his eyes closed, as if trying to see through Sangwoo’s face. When they met eye to eye, his heart raced again. On a dark morning like this, for some reason, the other side only looked at him like that and refused to sleep. Jaeyoung gently brushed his wet hair and said,

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Yes.”

   “What are you thinking?”

   “…”

   “We have done even more embarrassing things together, what else do you have to be shy to say?”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment with a gloomy expression. Jaeyoung waited calmly. Then the other approached and hugged him tightly, causing his heart to race. Jaeyoung raised his hand and lightly stroked Sangwoo’s head. “I didn’t know I had this preference.” The other tightened the embrace.

   “This preference?”

   “Because I’ve never felt this good before. I was scared. Sometimes I thought it would be better not to get to know men.”

   Jaeyoung’s face suddenly turned into a cool smile. Not ‘Jang Jaeyoung’, but  ‘men.’ It was necessary to speak and destroy the atmosphere in times like this.

   But that was all. Chu Sangwoo probably didn’t know what he did wrong, and what the problem was.

   For a moment, Jaeyoung thought about explaining to Sangwoo in detail why he was upset, but he gave up because if he hoped for something more than this, all he would have was a commitment called dating. Jaeyoung wasn’t sure if he could convince someone who believed that dating should always lead to marriage that dating between men was right. Moreover…

   ‘In the end, won’t you still have to leave things off?’

   Yoona’s words flashed in his mind, and the exhaustion of looking towards the painful future made Jaeyoung uneasy. If they were ‘officially dating’, all the problems would probably be more complicated than they were now.

   “What are you thinking about?”

   It’s unclear how much time has passed… Sangwoo asked. Although this was the first time the other had asked such a question, Jaeyoung was too cool to feel sentimental and instead brought up another topic.

   “I’m wondering what month you were born in.”

   “October.”

   “What date?”

   “The first.”

   Jaeyoung chuckled a little. It was the 1001st [3]day from among the many dates there were. He thought he would never forget it.

   “It’s a good birthday for you.”

   “Why is that?”

   “The shape is proportional. Plus, it’s in binary.”

   Then the sound of laughter erupted immediately, ever since they started playing with the other party, this was the best response.

   “The way you think is really strange, hyung.”

   Jaeyoung wanted to say that the word made him feel bad when he had to listen to Sangwoo. Then he hugged tighter.

   “Is there anything you want as a birthday present?”

   “No.”

   While thinking that the other party had to answer like that, Sangwoo spoke as if it was not a big deal.

   “Why ask for no reason? Anyway, you will not be here anymore.”

   The arrow that he wanted to escape was still aimed at Jaeyoung’s head. Jaeyoung frowned. He did not understand why they had to talk about this after just spending quality time together, the silence that was suffocating for a long time, of course, Sangwoo probably did not think of anything special already. So it was frustrating for Jaeyoung alone, and he decided to break it straight.

   “Are you sad?”

   “There’s no reason to be sad. I think I should have done with the desire for men by then.”

   That answer made him feel worse than before.

   “Oh, do you think so?”

   “But I’m not sure if I will be successful or not. Think about the reason why you and I are doing this in the first place, Qing dynasty Generals, remember?”

   “…”

   “But I’m not sure if it’s successful or not. I’m still worried because it doesn’t seem to decrease the desire.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t know what to answer. No matter what meaningless things he heard, he could handle it well. Only this time he couldn’t solve the problem alone. When he saw Jaeyoung silent, Sangwoo continued.

   “It’s probably impossible, but suppose I still can’t handle it by then… I’ll just find someone else to replace you.”

   ‘He is getting too much. This kid.’

   Jaeyoung stood up and glared at Sangwoo. Even though he already knew that the other party was calm, cold and calculative, he knew that their temperatures were not the same, but when he heard it with his own ears, he felt like the blood in his body was freezing. ____________________________________.

   [1] Neoprene is a synthetic rubber blend fabric with high flexibility. [2] 20,000 won is approximately 600 baht.

   [3] 1001 comes from October 1st, because Korea writes dates in the yearmonth-day format.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 64: Yellow #6.

The corners of their mouths pulled towards each other, and they leaned in without needing to say who restarted the kissing. They kissed each other and walked up the stairs, causing the lights on the ceiling that were once dim to shine brighter.

“Hah…hurry.”

Despite saying that, Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo against the wall again before kissing him. Sangwoo, who was not yet prepared, looked rough and vulgar, which made the other party look seductive. One part of him wanted to hurry up and get to the room, but the other part wanted to have sex with the other party right here and now. These two desires clashed.

Therefore, it took a reasonable amount of time to get to the fourth floor. Although they were eager to get up, they couldn’t help but stand and kiss each other in front of the door for another moment before unlocking it.

Then, when they entered the cozy dark room, they both immediately threw themselves onto the bed. Sangwoo pushed Jaeyoung to lie down and then climbed on top of him, holding his cheeks in his hands, tucking his hair behind his ears, and pulling him in for a kiss. The bed that used to be firm and tense was now soft and yielding, and the hair on Jaeyoung’s neck stood up with excitement.

Sangwoo sucked on Jaeyoung’s neck and earlobes according to his heart’s desire. Jaeyoung was lulled by the person on top and rubbed his body against the hot body, using his fingertips to explore the silhouette of Silhouette that looked good in the dark, sliding down the smooth neck, slipping down to the muscle that occupied the area and then down to the firm denim of the jeans, squeezing and massaging the buttocks through the hard fabric, then climbing up to the inside of the leg and stopping in between the legs.

“Ah…”

The person on top nibbled on Jaeyoung’s ear and let out a moan, only touching through the thick fabric, but it was still hard enough to take shape.

This was evidence that the other party was also in the mood of hyper arousal.

He held onto that part tightly before unfastening the buckle with the desire to look at it with his own eyes.

As soon as Jaeyoung took off his pants and slid his hand to the underwear, Sangwoo wrapped his arms around Jaeyoung’s neck and buried his face in the nape. Jaeyoung used one hand to grope the buttocks while the other side rubbed the hardening cock. Sangwoo squeezed and twisted his body quietly, still grabbing Jaeyoung’s shirt and pulling it hard enough to reveal more than half of his shoulder.

Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo and flipped over, the one who was flipped over suddenly revealed a surprised face. After pulling the other’s pants down to the thigh, he looked at the wet bulge in front of him for a moment before leaning down, tapping the edge of his lips against the bulge. Sangwoo was surprised and raised his shoulder, but Jaeyoung ignored it and pressed his tongue onto the thin fabric until it turned pale red.

“Wait. Um…let me take a shower first.”

Sangwoo made a move to get up, so Jaeyoung pressed him to lie down as before. When he pulled down the other’s underwear, he found the erect shaft that had no way to enter his mouth.

‘I never thought I’d have to suck someone else’s d*ck.’

Although he complained in his heart, in the end, Jaeyoung covered that part with his mouth.

“Ah…”

Jaeyoung’s face was dark and his eyes were confused, even the salty and tasteless taste was not an obstacle. The image that passed through the excitement swept away the resistance for a moment, making Sangwoo’s flesh look less disgusting, so he sucked it like he was eating delicious ice cream with a strong desire.

“Ah…it’s… ugh…”

He used his hand to stimulate the scrotum, and his tongue licked the part that was standing upright. When he bit the tip with his sharp teeth, the other side also leaned over and pulled the hair on the back of his head immediately.

Because they both knew what to do to feel good. Moreover, it was not just Sangwoo who had studied. Jaeyoung was well-prepared with theory and practice, and he worked hard, stiffening the tip of his tongue to stimulate the flesh, wrapping his mouth around the head, using his tongue to gently caress the soft end, swallowing deeply and sucking hard, and in the meantime, he didn’t forget to look at the other side.

Sangwoo looked at him with half-opened eyes, the eyes were filled with happiness and satisfaction. Jaeyoung knew well what the other side saw him in, and he intended it to be that way. He deliberately blinked slowly and flicked his tongue out, and then the hand that held his hair came out stronger, the rough touch rubbed against his cheek as if to slap him. Then the other side slid his hand to cover his eyes. Jaeyoung then wiped that hand away.

When he thought it was time… Jaeyoung hastened his pace and locked eyes with Sangwoo, while Sangwoo’s cock was entering his mouth and his lips tightly wrapped around his teeth, moving up and down, and suddenly a loud moan echoed.

“Ah, damn… it, uh…”

Although the person being stimulated was the other party, Jaeyoung didn’t know why he felt so hot and aroused. He felt like the cock that was in his pants was about to explode. One of Jaeyoung’s hands clasped with Sangwoo’s hand while the other held onto the other party’s leg tightly. As he moved up and down, Sangwoo kneeled and immediately thrust his hips forward.

“Did you learn that… somewhere?”

‘You’re talking nonsense again. You imaginative kid.’

Sangwoo’s movements became more violent. The other party pull

 

 

Jaeyoung’s hair and finally began to move his waist, causing the tip of the fluid that had a slightly salty taste to hit his palate hard. Sangwoo, who had awakened and fell into arousal completely, no longer felt embarrassed. Jaeyoung endured and held onto the other party’s hand tightly, even though the bones of that party collided with his chin hard.

The more violently Sangwoo moved, the more Jaeyoung felt like he was about to die. His lower body also moved up and down. He wanted to do more and almost went crazy. One of his hands on Sangwoo’s leg automatically tightened, and his blood boiled throughout his body.

At that moment, the violent movement stopped, and a loud moan echoed along with a fishy taste spreading in his mouth. Jaeyoung swallowed the evidence of cum release that Sangwoo left in his mouth along with the saliva that had been stuck and raised his upper body.

Sangwoo breathed heavily and used his arm to cover his eyes. Jaeyoung rushed into the other party, pulled out his arm, and gave him a kiss. He held the wet lips for a moment before letting go. Sangwoo looked at him with a confused face.

“Why… why did you become so skilled?”

“I just did it for the first time.”

“You’re lying.”

“Are you the only one who studied the theories? I studied too.”

He looked at the tired and distressed face and nervously moved his hand. Although a bit hesitant, Jaeyoung took off his shoes and threw them away before taking off Sangwoo’s sneakers. However, as he pulled down his pants and moved his lower body closer to the other person without thinking about it.

Jaeyoung suddenly realized a problem.

Oh, damn it.”

He closed his eyes tightly and rubbed his face with his palm. He came here with overwhelming desire, so he didn’t bring anything. If he were to go out to buy something at a convenience store, it would take another fifteen minutes. In the meantime, Chu Sangwoo must have lost his mood… If he asked him to do it again, he probably wouldn’t agree, but there was no other choice.

However, when Jaeyoung lifted his head again, he found Sangwoo standing there. The other man picked something up from the drawer and threw it onto the bed.

“…”

Jaeyoung followed his gaze to a small box with a heart pattern on it. When he saw the words ‘Extra Large XL’ he smiled involuntarily. It might not be his favorite brand, but he thought he might start liking it from today on. He tore open the package.

“Come here.”

Sangwoo walked over and sat down as instructed. He put on a condom and touched the wet cock with the liquid that had dripped, including the fingers. Then he smiled and squeezed the gel before pushing the other person down to examine the buttocks. Sangwoo no longer refused, unlike at first when he looked scared. The bright light that shone on his face revealed even his second arousal expectations.

Jaeyoung moved his body closer to the other person’s lower body and spread his buttocks. Sangwoo shuddered lightly and turned his face away when Jaeyoung saw the twitching hold. As he inserted his finger, he squeezed it tightly inside as before, adding more gel and exploring carefully. He knew exactly where to touch the other person to make him feel good. As he touched that spot, the other person’s hip jerked as expected, and his toes curled up.

Stay calm, or it will hurt.”

He held Sangwoo’s knee tightly and moved his finger in and out. Inside, it was still tight like before, and he explored it carefully until he found the right spot. As he touched it, the area around the hip jerked as expected, and Sangwoo’s toes stiffened.

Jaeyoung leaned his upper body down and tapped Sangwoo’s chest, winking at the other side and then extending his finger. As he began thrusting in and out more and more precisely and lightly caressing, Sangwoo’s eyes closed tightly, and the touch of his fingertips pressing repeatedly made his body that had once been calm and still slowly rise up and press against his abdomen.

“Hyuuuung…”

Jaeyoung leaned his upper body down and pressed his face against Sangwoo’s chest, then spread his fingers out. As he began to thrust in and out more directly and rubbed gently, Sangwoo closed his eyes tightly. The dryness in his mouth and the suppressed desire made him feel like he was going crazy, but he had to endure it for now.

“Jaeyoung-hyunghim…”

The result was a healthy piece of flesh that was standing up and dripping with slippery mucus from Sangwoo. The other man’s hand was rubbing Jaeyoung’s chest, and his shirt was shaking with urgency.

“Don’t just rub… hurry…”

“Why? What do you want me to do?”

The hoarse voice was far from comfortable. Sangwoo forgot to close his eyes, and the remaining eye was full of anger and resentment. He pulled Jaeyoung’s collar closer before speaking.

“Are you still going to fool around at a time like this?”

“…”

Damn it…hey, hurry up.”

 

 

Even though he didn’t expect words like ‘help me put your big dick in my man pussy’ the annoyed expression was a bit too much. Although he wanted to tease, desire had to come first.

‘I can’t take it anymore.’

He took a deep breath and used both hands to separate the two pieces of flesh. Then he shifted his lower body and inserted himself into the stillunopened passage.

“Huh…”

Sangwoo groaned, his body trembling. Jaeyoung leaned his weight onto the other’s shoulder, not quite entering yet, but he felt like he was about to cum.  Therefore, he had to wait for a moment. He couldn’t move immediately.

If he missed this time, he would have to explain that he was early cummer and not as experienced. The other party probably wouldn’t believe it. Jaeyoung was determined not to hear the words “it’s okay if you can’t do it” again, so he pushed his cock in a little bit at a time.

“This…temporary erectile dysfunction, what does it feel like? Come on, say it again.”

“Uh…I don’t know…”

In a situation where his body was being forcibly awakened like this, Sangwoo’s face, which was not in a calm state, looked really dangerous with every blink, every open mouth, and every weak touch of his nose with his finger. Jaeyoung had just taken off the shirt that was soaked with sweat and stuck to the other’s skin. When the pale white skin appeared, the image in front of him became blurred, and he hugged the warm body tightly and thrust his hips in fiercely.

Sangwoo took a breath and used his hand to cover his mouth. Jaeyoung took his hand out and held the other’s wrist to prevent him from closing his mouth. Then he started moving his waist again. At first, it went slowly, once, twice, three times, four times, and during the subtle movements, he lifted his hips strongly to hit that spot inside Sangwoo.

“Ah!”

Then the other closed his eyes tightly and turned his face to the side in an instant.

“Sangwoo-ya.”

“…”

“Look at me, Chu Sangwoo.”

“…”

“Then I am going to leave and go home.”

Hearing that, Sangwoo forgot to keep his gaze down and they locked eyes. Jaeyoung released the tightly held wrist. Then, he tossed the wet hair, soaked with the other’s sweat, to the back. His face was still as cute as before, but now with his forehead exposed like this, he looked even more charming. He felt relieved, not just for himself. No one else had seen this side of Chu Sangwoo.

“Sangwoo, hug me… please.”

He spoke with a dry voice. Sangwoo widened his eyes as he heard the unexpected request and he hesitated before wrapping his arms around Jaeyoung’s neck. Jaeyoung pressed his body even closer than before and whispered,

“And kiss me.”

Sangwoo obediently leaned in and pressed his lips against the other’s.

Jaeyoung started moving his lower body, which was getting hotter and hotter. This time, he moved even more subtly, and soon he couldn’t hold back any longer. Jaeyoung lunged forward like a train that, once it gained speed, was hard to stop.

Every time Jaeyoung moved, the heavy, lingering breath penetrated through his teeth. The testicles touched the buttocks so that the sound of flesh slamming against flesh was distinctly loud. Every time Jaeyoung pushed his body in, Sangwoo’s body would shake violently. The speed increased gradually as the speed began to increase once more. He could no longer control it.

Sangwoo’s body was as straightforward as his personality. When stimulated, his body responded immediately. His fingers that were pressing on Jaeyoung’s back, the arms that were wrapped around the neck, the heavy breathing that came out of the deepest part of his lungs, and the tightening inside that gradually increased were all rewards that were worth longing for Jaeyoung. His delicate body trembled and reacted every time he collided with the other’s body, instead of kissing a slew of moans came out.

“Huh… ah…”

“Sang… woo-ya…”

“Ah, ah… ugh…”

“Does it hurt? It doesn’t hurt, right?”

Jaeyoung lifted the other’s leg and held it tightly on his shoulder. Then, he lifted his hips and pushed up hard, making Sangwoo make a moaning sound like an exploding scream, the fuel of love. He lifted himself up again and leaned his face against Sangwoo’s neck. Then, he sucked and licked his skin vigorously. Sangwoo hugged Jaeyoung’s neck tightly, as if he was trying to hold on to something, and started moving his hips.

After that, he matched his hips to the rhythm of the other person’s movements, and what was once a one-sided motion became a coordinated dance between the two. Every time their bodies collided, it felt different from when he was moving alone. Sangwoo moved his hips unpredictably, making it difficult for Jaeyoung to keep up. The other side was using his body to ask him to propel his cock deeper and faster. Jaeyoung lost his comfortable posture and let his body follow his instincts like an animal.

“Uh…hah…ah, ah, ah! Hyung…”

And then came the moment of pure happiness that made their hearts float together, as if they were one person. No matter how fast Jaeyoung moved, Sangwoo bounced back and chased after him at the same speed, as if there was a fierce collision happening where they connected, making a loud sound and a bright white light. At the same time, the edge of their lips released an indescribable moan.

‘Feels…amazing.’

Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s cheek, who was biting his finger, and made him turn to look at himself. His chest was wet with sweat, shaking violently from the thrusts, and reflected the moonlight. His small eyes had teardrops at the corners, and there were red marks left on his white neck.

Although he was violently entering the other person’s love hole, he whispered softly in the other person’s ear, “Are you okay?” Sangwoo nodded vigorously.

“Don’t you like it? Isn’t it good?”

The other side nodded again as before, to let him hear the sound of the person under his body, he focused on one point and thrust repeatedly, not letting the other person rest until he heard what he wanted.

“Hyung…huh huh, hyungnim…Jaeyoung…”

The sound of moaning sounded louder than ever and so sweet to the ears, as if when his cock moved in and out, the inner wall of the other person’s body sucked in his essence completely, and the wall was tight and comfortable, as if it was built for him, and even the rhythm of their movements was perfect.

‘We fit together perfectly.’

Jaeyoung soared to the highest point with a drunken feeling. He didn’t know what to do with the other person’s cute appearance, and he hugged the person under him tightly and kissed his cheek while expressing with his body that he liked him so much that he didn’t know what to do.

“Sangwoo, Sang…woo-ya.”

His mind was filled with this name, at this moment Chu Sangwoo was filling up Jang Jaeyoung. He liked the way the other party breathed as if he was out of breath, and he liked to hear the sound when the other party called him

“hyungnim” with a soft and gentle voice, unlike in normal times when the other party always looked perfect. Although he felt like he wanted to cum together with the other party quickly, he thought it wouldn’t be a problem even if time stopped right here.

“How do you feel…?”

“I can’t… take it anymore…”

Sangwoo pulled Jaeyoung’s hair with a frustrated face. The other party rubbed his chin and neck and moaned beside his ear.

“Hyung… uh, Jaeyoung…”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“Ah….ugh, how much longer? I… ah, can I cum first?”

Feeling dizzy and disoriented from head to toe, Jaeyoung stumbled. At that moment, Sangwoo seized him by the waist and pressed his cock until it was tightly inside. Sangwoo bit Jaeyoung’s earlobe and let out a moan filled with pleasure. Sangwoo squeezed Jaeyoung’s cock inside him and the white-hot electric current of sensational cum hit Jaeyoung’s face.

At the climax, a flame of flowers erupted. The feeling was dreamlike, as though a weightless force pushed and pulled Jaeyoung. At that moment, he saw and heard nothing. He only felt a warm rush throughout his body as the happiness slowly washed over him, the graph shooting up, then slowly falling down. At the same time, the tingling sensation on his hands and feet returned.

“Ah… ah, ah…”

The front of Jaeyoung’s tight shirt which they failed to remove was stained with white stains that couldn’t even be removed.

Sangwoo lay on his back, his chest heaving from the intense exercise. He closed his eyes tightly, and tears flowed down his cheeks from the edge of his eyes. Jaeyoung lay on the other side, panting heavily and pressed a kiss.

⌘W.

 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 63: Yellow #5.

So, you’re going to study abroad, huh? Your girlfriend doesn’t mind?”

Instantly, anger surged within him. He lifted the soju glass and drank it all before slamming it down with a loud noise.

“Can you handle it?”

Suddenly, the atmosphere fell silent. Seeing the eyes that secretly observed him, he reluctantly relaxed his expression.

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Um, speaking of which, are you close with Yoona? Do you know what she’s up to? Does she have a boyfriend?”

It seemed like he didn’t want to show any interest in someone who had no hope at all. Jaeyoung replied that he didn’t know either and hoped to change the topic of conversation.

“I think Choi Yoona is strange. Whenever we meet, she always acts tough towards me.”

“You’re looking at the world too positively. Her behavior is bad. When she hates someone, she doesn’t hide it.”

“I don’t think she hates me. It seems like she’s showing more interest, like those in shoujo manga.”

“Oh, what a delusion of yours? She hates people like you more than anything.”

Yoona and Jaeyoung’s styles were similar, meaning they had to be people with style, sense, and maturity. Jaeyoung thought of some people who didn’t fit the above description at all and realized that the word “style” was useless.

His style was dull, there was no sense, and asking if he had any maturity was like saying he was a toddler just learning to walk. However, falling in love with someone didn’t depend on those conditions. The evidence was Jaeyoung, who was hit by the unseemly Giant Bebe, who had no sense and looked so dark that he was stunned and stiffened.

“It’s not true. Normally, girls like Yoona tend to go for soft and gentle guys like me.”

‘Just said it was not true, damn it. You keep repeating the same thing.’

Jaeyoung imagined how Yoona would react when she heard those words and felt a surge of anger. He thought about going out for a cigarette, but he had never encountered such a boring group of drinkers before. He used to be able to have fun anywhere, but now everything seemed dull, including the alcohol, food, and people.

As he approached the door, he heard a familiar ringing sound coming from behind him. Although it was his phone ringing, Jaeyoung pushed the door open without questioning who was calling.

“Oh, damn it. Check the name on the phone.”

“Wow… definitely a girlfriend. Let me see, what’s her name?”

“Oh, that’s a good idea.”

Jaeyoung turned around and stumbled back until his leg hit the corner of the table, but he didn’t have time to care.

“Hello? Hey, who’s this?”

“Probably someone else. Ask quickly, sunbae.”

“Sorry, don’t you know the name of the phone owner…”

Jaeyoung arrived at the table in a hurry and grabbed the phone from the other person’s hand. As he pressed the phone to his ear, he heard a quiet voice at the other end of the line.

[Why are you asking for my name?]

“…”

The voice immediately eliminated the hatred and anger that had just surged up. Jaeyoung stood still, holding the phone to his ear for a moment.

[Jaeyoung…hyung, are you too busy to answer the phone?]

“Wait a minute.”

Jaeyoung muttered before grabbing his wallet and stuffing his wallet and belongings into his pants pocket. The dizziness from the alcohol made him feel a little dizzy. When he walked out, he heard the other screaming and asking where he was going to go, so he turned around to answer.

“I don’t want to drink anymore. Let me go first.”

“Huh? What? Why are you leaving now?”

“You went on to pick up someone else’s phone, what the hell did you think I was going to do? It’s annoying.”

“Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Hey, that bastard is crazy.”  The young man slammed the table so hard that the water bottle spilled.

Although the other person looked angry, Jaeyoung didn’t care at all and hurried the girl to the door.

“Stay calm. Keep calm, senior. That man is drunk.”

“Uh, fuck… a little teasing and he is that pissed off…”

He already has bad manners. We’re better off drinking together.”

Jaeyoung pushed the door open and walked into the quiet commercial building. He sat down on the stairs and slowly lifted his phone to his ear, the call still connected.

“Sangwoo.”

He called the other person’s name cautiously, as if it were the first time he had ever called him, even though he had called him a hundred times before.

[Are you at a bar?]

“I was earlier, but I left.”

[Are you drunk?]

“Not that much.”

[Is something wrong?]

“No, not really.”

[It sounded like someone was screaming. Did things get out of hand?]

“No, why did you call?”

He took the phone away from his ear to check the time. Sangwoo was probably done with his part-time job and on his way home.

[Oh… it’s Saturday today, right?]

“Yes.”

[And tomorrow is Sunday.]

“And the day after that is Monday.”

As the alcohol entered his mouth, his thoughts didn’t become more complicated. Jaeyoung stood up and walked along the street, stopping to look at the cars passing by.

[And the day after that is Tuesday… not Wednesday. Oh, damn…]

He raised his hand and waved. Then the taxi slowly moved forward and stopped in front of him. Jaeyoung opened the door and sat down in the passenger seat.

[Was I wrong to call you?]

“Whether you could or not, it’s up to you, but there must be a reason for calling, right?”

Jaeyoung put his hand over the phone before telling the driver his address and quickly picked up the phone again to hold it to his ear.

[Is there a reason…? Yes, I have.]

“What is it?”

[Even though I have, I might not want to tell you.]

“If you don’t tell me, how are you going to achieve your goal in calling me?”  [That matters… I’ve already achieved my goal. It’s nothing.] Jaeyoung is not sure whether Chu Sangwoo is honest or a fox.

“Then can I hang up?”

[Sure.]

“…”

[But… don’t hang up yet.]

“Why?”

[I want to talk on the phone with you like this until I get home.]

A few sincere words can melt Jaeyoung’s heart, and his defense power became 0, so he always feels defenseless when facing the other party.

“And when you are home, what’s next?”

[I’ll take a shower and then maybe test a new game.]

He fidgets and the view outside the window moves but he wants it to move faster. He tightens his grip on the phone and asks Sangwoo.

“What game are you testing?”

[I downloaded LXT and Evil Scroll. Oh, and yesterday I watched a preview of an RPG game that Mecon will release on the 22nd. It looks a bit like Wevan.]

Jaeyoung didn’t interrupt and listened until the end. The end of the call analyzed the similarities and differences between Veggie Venturer and the other game for more than five minutes, but Jaeyoung didn’t feel bored at all.

“It’s just a similar atmosphere, and in reality, they are different games.

Fortunately, the main issues of the games are not the same.”

[How can they be the same? You, hyung have a strange way of thinking that others can’t think alike.]

“Is this a compliment?”

[Because you hyung have a thought process that is so strange that others can’t think alike.]

“That’s a backhanded compliment.”

Suddenly, he saw a familiar path, a path he had walked to send Sangwoo on weekends two or three times before. His heart began to beat loudly, as if a switch had been turned on. Jaeyoung took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before whispering softly.

What about after that?”

[Check my email and go to bed.]

“Before going to bed, will you open the Jang Jaeyoung folder?”

[…]

“Why didn’t you answer?”

At the end of a dark street, a man wearing a black short-sleeved shirt and jeans was walking. Although he was quite far away, Jaeyoung guessed the person accurately and signaled to get off. The taxi slowed down gradually until it stopped completely.

[Don’t tease me like that. It’s a phenomenon of physiology.]

“I’m not kidding, really.”

[You already know the answer, why ask again?]

He paid for the taxi with a card, got out of the car and saw Sangwoo walking ahead about a hundred meters away.

“Will you open it or not? How else can I find out?”

[Ugh, fuck.]

The other person stopped and took out a phone to look, sometimes seeming like he wanted to throw it away. Jaeyoung stopped and waited until Sangwoo started walking again before following.

“Before, you didn’t seem to care when I talked about tough things. Why has it changed now?”

[I don’t know. It’s been chaotic lately.]

“So, are you going to open the Jang Jaeyoung folder or not?”

[At first, I thought I wouldn’t, but now I probably have to.]

“Why? When you hear my voice, does your blood rush to your cock muscles?”

[…]

Sangwoo turned into an alley. As he followed, he saw the apartment building.

Jaeyoung continued to walk at a distance.

“Sangwooya, why aren’t you answering?”

[Annoying.]

“Am I annoying you?”

[You just talk about obscene things and don’t take responsibility.]

“I can take responsibility…”

[What are you talking about? That’s it.]

 

 

Sangwoo stopped in front of the building, his mouth saying he was going to hang up, but he remained still holding the phone to his ear. When Jaeyoung pressed to end the call, Sangwoo lowered the phone and stared at the screen before shouting out.

“You bastard!”

Normally, he probably would have thought that way. Jaeyoung hurriedly walked ahead, step by step, while the other side pushed the glass door and prepared to step in. He caught up and hugged the back tightly.

“By myself.”

With the intention of shaking himself out with quick movements, Sangwoo slowly lowered his elbows. Jaeyoung could feel his heart beating fast, his arms tightening around him, just hugging him, the fleeting feelings spread throughout his body, he buried his nose and throat in the embrace of the person and took a deep breath, then the feeling of dizziness mixed with the feeling of losing consciousness.

“Anyway, 3D must be better than 2D, right?”

He took a moment to compose himself before speaking. Sangwoo didn’t laugh at that awkward statement.

From just nuzzling the other person’s neck slowly with his nose, he became bolder, Jaeyoung’s lips pressed down on his white skin, and he sucked until there was a loud sound, kissing, kissing, everywhere he touched, it was impossible not to smell the sweet scent of the body that had been working in the game shop for hours, sometimes it might be because of the dizziness.

Jaeyoung thought he couldn’t concentrate anymore.

He nibbled on the thin skin at the back of his neck and used the tip of his tongue to lick up to the edge of his earlobe, and suddenly he felt the person in his arms jump. Jaeyoung hugged the trembling body tighter and licked along the curve of his earlobe, making him feel ticklish.

“Hyung…”

The hand that was initially just hugging Sangwoo moved to his chest and slid down his flat stomach through his shirt, then moved to his waist. Sangwoo held onto that hand tightly and murmured softly.

“Give me a moment… to prepare myself.”

Jaeyoung grabbed the other person’s arm and turned to face him instead of answering, his face reddened with the light and shadow of the streetlights.  Then Sangwoo looked away. Jaeyoung used his hand to lift the other person’s chin to face each other. ‘No.’

As he leaned in, the other person immediately pushed him away.

“Calm down a bit and we can do it later.”

‘I don’t want to.’

He kissed him again without saying anything, but this time he wasn’t immediately rejected, he sucked on Sangwoo’s lower lip. Then he used the tip of his tongue to tease his lips little by little, waiting for him to accept it, but the other person backed away and left.

“I’ve been working all day, I’m all dirty. Just one hour…”

‘I said no.’

He hadn’t finished speaking yet before, Jaeyoung closed his mouth again, wrapped his hands around Sangwoo’s neck, and leaned in to press his lips tightly together and slip his tongue into his mouth, hoping to make the other party unable to say anything. He didn’t think about anything meaningless, and only focused on him.

This time, Sangwoo didn’t resist, and held onto Jaeyoung’s shoulders as if he had surrendered, it seemed that even his stubbornness had diminished.

Sangwoo raised his toes and whispered in his ear.

“I know. I know.”

When he saw Sangwoo immediately suck and pull his tongue in, he thought of the first kiss they had, it was a kiss without layers, rushed, and didn’t hide anything. The other party approached him without saying anything, making Jaeyoung feel even hotter.

Sangwoo used his other hand to hold Jaeyoung’s cheek and leaned in to press his lips together, grinding his lips together until their teeth collided, and his tongue plunged deep into the root of his tongue, making him almost unable to breathe, and his open mouth made saliva flow to the tip of his chin.

Bang! The back of Jaeyoung’s neck hit the glass door. Sangwoo woke up violently. Jaeyoung used his back to push the door and pulled the other party into the dark building. He slid his hand under his shirt and placed his fingertips on Sangwoo’s waist. Then he slid up and hugged his neck with his hand. When he withdrew from the kiss and forgot to open his eyes for a moment, the closed eyes of Sangwoo opened, revealing the waves of emotion that were raging inside.

“You tasted like soju.”

The other party licked his lips, before Sangwooya said to him.

“Alcohol has the effect of depressing the central nervous system, which may cause temporary erectile dysfunction.” “Let’s go up and you can check for yourself.” ____________________________________.

Hello.

Thank you to all readers for the warm welcome, Semantic, Error, and I am very happy to see everyone enjoying this novel.

 

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 62: Yellow, #4.

After passing the ball, Sangwoo caught it with both hands. The other person he wanted to warm up first and bounced the basketball two or three times before starting to dribble. Everything went according to standard procedure, just like when the other side did various things. Sangwoo took two steps and dribbled, two steps and dribbled, until he reached the penalty line and shot with both hands firmly. But unfortunately, it didn’t go in.

Sangwoo did that four more times, failed two more times, and succeeded two more times. Then it seemed like he had found his way. Sangwoo picked up the ball with a blank face and dribbled it to the center of the court.

“Let’s start.”

“Okay, this side.”

Jaeyoung took off his glasses and put them in his pants pocket, then took a stance. At that moment, Sangwoo, who had been standing still, dribbled the ball closer. Jaeyoung waited to see if the other side would come from the left or right, but the other suddenly rushed straight ahead, his face seeming to say ‘No matter what, I’m going to block you’ Sangwoo prepared to collide with one arm, looking like he was going to go to the right.

And as expected, at the moment when he had to block. Jaeyoung couldn’t touch the other side due to the difference in height. If he wanted to play dirty, he could, but his body wasn’t agile enough to move. Sangwoo ducked under Jaeyoung’s arm and successfully made the first shot.

“What’s this? Play nicely.”

Duk,Duk, Duk, he could feel the pounding of his heart matching the sound of the ball bouncing on the court.

Jaeyoung caught the ball that Sangwoo threw, feeling unfamiliar with the touch of the ball. Despite being a forward player [1]who excelled in aggressive play and had counted countless times in catching the basketball, he now didn’t feel like winning at all.

He chased the basketball slowly and half-heartedly. Sangwoo ran in and looked at the basketball with eager eyes, his arms moving quickly as if to hug Jaeyoung. Jaeyoung pretended to be a fake a few times before throwing the ball out far, of course, there was no way the ball would fall into the basket. The basketball hit the board and bounced far away. Sangwoo then ran after the ball.

‘This is a defeat.’

Jaeyoung laughed dryly as Sangwoo ran with the ball again. This time he saw the other side turn to the left, he faced him with pleasure, trying to snatch the ball, but Sangwoo pulled the ball towards him without hesitation. Then he used a strong post-up technique [2] by using his back to push through Jaeyoung.

Judging from the way he handled the ball, the other person must have been a point guard [3] before, unlike Jaeyoung who usually played as a forward, dealer, designer, and developer. They were so different.

Sangwoo approached the penalty shoot-out line, crouched down, and this time he shot with both hands as usual. The basketball floated beautifully in a curve and fell into the basket.

Jaeyoung lost his concentration, while he only moved without any strength like a robot, he suddenly realized that the score had become 8-0.

“What will I get if I win?”

“That’s it.”

“Do what the other person asks, is that okay?”

“Sure.”

This was a bet that whether he won or lost, Jaeyoung wouldn’t lose. He tried to think about what he would ask for if he won, but in the end, he gave up. If it was too easy, just ask for it directly, and if he asked for something impossible using betting as an excuse, he might get the opposite result instead.

At that moment, the basketball floated over. Jaeyoung caught the ball with both hands unintentionally, then decided to show off his ability for the other side to see. He crouched down to dribble the basketball and showed his skill by changing hands without necessity, but Sangwoo didn’t even blink twice.

If it’s not important, Sangwoo usually doesn’t pay attention. Once he thought it wasn’t cool at all, but now…

‘I like you who cares about what’s important.’

He tricked him into going right and then turned left. Sangwoo was really fooled once, and he used to be frustrated with the other person who was like that, but now…

‘I like someone who is honest. Not pretending.’

Sangwoo followed him again and tried to steal the ball while wrapping his arms around Jaeyoung’s waist. Jaeyoung sent the ball back with his other hand, teasing the other person by doing a crossover, and then easily passed him again.

Sangwoo refused to give up and followed him, once thinking that the other person looked foolish, but now…

‘I like someone who always does everything to the fullest.’

A light breeze separated the horse’s mane as they ran and played basketball. Jaeyoung ran straight to the basket and caught the alley-oop without fail. The basketball fell beautifully, he caught it again, bounced it two or three times, and then threw it to Sangwoo.

“8 to 2.”

The other person caught the ball and ran slowly, dribbling the ball close to him with the correct posture and looking strong, but it was an efficient posture. The damp shirt clung to his body, creating a silhouette that was both sexy and alluring, with a confident look on his face.

While thinking that everything about the other person was so attractive, Jaeyoung realized that he had fallen in love with Chu Sangwoo. It happened before he started thinking about what made the other person so special and different from others, the image of Sangwoo running towards him. No, the truth was that the other person running towards him seemed so charming that Jaeyoung felt scared.

How did it come to this? He didn’t know when he fell in love with someone who was not charming and foolish, someone who was not creative and flexible like that, because it happened slowly like a wet piece of clothing, and before he knew it, it had become like this. The understanding that he was wrong to think that sleeping together once would be boring was a complete misunderstanding, because after spending time with Chu Sangwoo that night, Jaeyoung wanted the other person even more.

Sangwoo looked up and glanced at him, still eagerly playing with the child in front of him. Jaeyoung, who used to stand with his arms crossed to block him, couldn’t stand it anymore and hugged him tightly.

“…Foul.”

He drowned in the atmosphere, unable to laugh at Sangwoo’s meaningless words, and chuckled to himself about his unrequited love for the shy person who still refused to let go of the ball even at this time. Jaeyoung felt a flutter in his chest as Sangwoo’s soft, whispered words trailed off.

Sangwoo stood still for a moment before slowly moving away.

“I’ll take the penalty kick.”

Jaeyoung stood and watched Sangwoo take the penalty kick twice without interest, his postures looking almost identical like a copied and pasted frame.

Sangwoo walked closer with a smiling face.

“10 points.”

“Good job, what can I do to make it better?”

Sangwoo breathed out, he looked down at the ground for a moment before looking up at Jaeyoung with his black eyes fixed on his target.

“Kiss me please.”

Jaeyoung wanted to ask ‘Is that all?’ but he didn’t have a chance to ask. He moved closer, cupped his cheeks with his palms, and began to suck and pull on his lips.

Thump, thump, thump, the sound of the basketball bouncing slowly faded away.

The romantic and obstructed feeling filled the night, it was a truly beautiful and good night.

⌘W.

“The work there is okay. What do you think? It’s popular and of good quality.”

“I also want to finish my portfolio this year and submit it to N-Code. Among all the studios there, they accept the most people, but if not, I’ll have to go to the big companies for money.”

Jaeyoung drank his soju quietly on a cool Saturday evening when he received a call from a friend from the same year asking him to come out to eat before going to the liquor store. Originally, there were two seniors who he knew, but one of them’s girlfriend called him back in the middle, leaving only three people left. They were all about to graduate from E-Design this year, so finding a job became the main topic of conversation.

“Will DEX only accept one person this year?”

“Is that so?… It’s probably hopeless, it’s still difficult for experienced people to get in, do you think new graduates can?”

“Did you know that the president of DEX came to the graduation exhibition last year?”

“Designer Kim Soo-han, really?”

“Yes, he looked great and had a top-notch style. At that time, people were laughing and talking about him like a celebrity. Plus, when we walked around the exhibition, he even said he liked some of the works and asked for the owner’s phone number.”

“Oh, damn… who’s the lucky one over there? They must be working there now. I’m so jealous.”

“Who else could it be? It’s the person sitting right in front of you.”

Jaeyoung, who was quietly drinking, became the target of both of their gazes. The senior, who only knew him by his appearance, asked what he was doing there. When Jaeyoung just laughed without answering, his friend explained it to him.

“He’s taking the TOEFL because he’s going to study abroad.”

“Then why isn’t he going?”

“He got too much attention. He was caught using another to sign his name during a roll call, so he didn’t graduate.”

Then they both laughed heartily. Jaeyoung accepted being the subject of their banter and let them have fun. He knew it wasn’t meant to be malicious, even though there was a hint of jealousy.

“So, Jaeyoung, why haven’t you been in touch? Why haven’t you shown your face lately?”

“I’ve been really busy lately.”

He didn’t know when they became close, but Jaeyoung smiled inwardly and didn’t mind.

 

 

“It seems like he has a girlfriend.” His friend smirked mischievously. Then the topic of conversation changed.

“He hasn’t shown his face, and he doesn’t answer his phone. When I walked by, I saw his car parked in the parking lot.”

“Oh, it seems like he’s in the library. Who is it? Let’s see a picture. Don’t tell me there isn’t one.”

The two of them were excitedly guessing the names of female students they were close to last semester.

“Is it Soren?”

“Oh, come on, that’s too obvious. It must be Jung Minjun, one of the dancing club members.”

“I know. It’s Yoona! It has to be her, she looks so scary.”

“Oh my god, you’re crazy. If it’s not Jung Minjun, then it must be Joong

Sooyooon, one of the violin majors. I’m sure of it.”

They even blurted out the name of someone he had almost dated, but now it didn’t mean anything. Jaeyoung quietly drank and let them guess at something that would never be accidentally revealed.

____________________________________.

[1]      Forward. Divided into two types: Small forward, responsible for scoring points for the team, and Power forward, responsible for defense under the basket, similar to a center, but with the main task of rebounding or catching missed shots.

[2]      Post up. Entering the opposite side’s territory to find a scoring position, which comes in two types: Low Post, “standing under the basketball hoop,” and High Post, “standing near the free-throw line.”

[3]      Point Guard. Responsible for overseeing the team’s offense by controlling the ball and passing it to the appropriate player.

[4]      Damage dealer, or DPS, “Damage per second.” The offensive position in the game, responsible for inflicting damage on the opposing team.

[5]      Cross-over, a basketball technique used to create space between offensive and defensive players.

 

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