SMNTCERR, Chapter 81: Black #1. 

   Jaeyoung was confident that he could feel love from Sangwoo’s actions during this period. It was a feeling that was difficult to pinpoint exactly where it came from. 

   His demeanor had changed slightly, his actions had changed slightly, and his way of speaking had changed slightly. At the same time, there was a certain point where his voice changed. When Sangwoo stood there silently, a sweet scent wafted out, causing Jaeyoung to feel intoxicated and lost in the other party. 

   Although their relationship had started with the utmost wickedness, he believed that Sangwoo was gradually climbing up the steps after they became involved in each other’s affairs, until now, where their bodies and hearts had become one. He guessed that Sangwoo’s heart was now aligned with his own. When it seemed as though he was annoyed, he pulled the other party close, as if he were a proud child learning to walk, hugging and sinking into the blissful feeling as if he himself had become Sangwoo’s lover. But that was a big misunderstanding. 

   “If the milk runs out, should I change my eating habits or go buy some from the supermarket?”

   Since the day they agreed to release their desires (screw) under the agreement, Sangwoo, who had declared that he would transform Jaeyoung as if changing obsolete computer parts, had not changed at all, as if Yoona had said before, “Don’t fool a helpless kid”. But Jaeyoung, on the other hand, was completely different, having misunderstood without a clue and feeling as if they were the only ones in love.

   “You’re the worst, I’m so stupid to have thought that I could feel good feelings from you.”

   He was bored with the utilitarian way of thinking that treated people as objects, and with the business-like thinking that only consumed what was necessary and discarded the rest. At the same time, Jaeyoung thought of the words of his three ex-girlfriends, who had spoken particularly harshly and left him behind.

   “It feels like you’re only dating my body.”

   “You despicable person, you can’t recycle someone like me.”

   “Jaeyoung-ah, do you love me?”

   How does it feel now? Good, I might as well just die. Who said they liked my coolness? Now that you’re back, you’re cursing me again, pretending to be like Chunhyang [1] or being that crazy lover. 

   But even so, the knife he threw at others had turned around and aimed at himself. 

   “You’ve never been clear from the beginning.”

   That is the voice of the subconscious, because he is unsure of how to convincingly reject Sangwoo, because he does not have enough time, because he hates the intense relationship, for various reasons. Jaeyoung therefore tried his best to show his determination, and the price he had to pay was too heavy. 

   “Stay calm. You don’t have your senses yet.”

   The young man decided that he would not let Sangwoo drag him down. Otherwise, he might become a pair of pants that the other party could easily discard and replace at the airport. Therefore, he had to “be prepared”, as someone once said.

   Jaeyoung resolved to distance himself from Sangwoo. He felt the need to step back and look at this overwhelming relationship in perspective. At the same time, he despised Sangwoo who declared that he could live without him and wanted the other party (Sangwoo) to experience it for once.

   The first day went well, the second day he restrained himself in every way possible, but on the third day, it became so difficult for Jaeyoung himself.

   [Bebe: I miss you, brother. Can we meet today? _21:00.] 

   Because he knew that the other party saw him as a sexual object that could be easily manipulated. Jaeyoung had to try every possible way not to run into

   Sangwoo. He watched movies at home, went to drink alone in places where Sangwoo couldn’t show up, and spent two to three hours skateboarding at the riverside park.

   Life felt so monotonous. Without Sangwoo, there was nothing exciting, nothing fun. Jaeyoung felt lost in a gray dust because of the worst villain, Blackout, an unforeseen nuclear explosion. After that, Jaeyoung’s world lost its color, he severed ties with Chu Sangwoo after only four days.

   For Jaeyoung, that day felt like sitting on a runaway train.

   Jaeyoung had no plan. He had lived like this all along, he only went to the workplace because he missed Chu Sangwoo so much. Jaeyoung showered, chose an outfit that looked neat and tidy that the other party might like, and drove there. He wanted to wear bunny earrings and buy flowers again, so he headed to the office and arranged the words he wanted to say to the other party in his mind.

   “I didn’t just see you as a casual fling. I love you with the most passionate love.” 

   After that, he didn’t think further. The other party probably wouldn’t understand and would choose hurtful words and run away. Then, he would become a person covered in wounds once again. But even so, Jaeyoung still stood firm, ready to say those words for the other party to hear, at least to prevent the other party from speaking pointless things about intimacy like that again. 

   When he saw the empty office, his hope turned into disappointment. And Sangwoo couldn’t be reached as usual, so he went to the front of the other party’s house and wandered around near the dark windows. Then he went up to the 4th floor and pressed his ear against the door to listen if there were any sounds inside, while waiting there, worry and uneasiness grew more and more. 

   When he saw the short text message that came with a picture, his head was violently hit by a wave of excitement. 

   The current situation feels like a climax in a teenage movie. Chu Sangwoo, who only knows home and university, wears the clothes he bought in the Rangrom district. It is a low-budget scene that clearly has a purpose. In this repetitive scene, the role prepared for Jaeyoung is that of a man who is in pain and restless, trembling with worry and frustration. At first, he thought it would be fun. 

   “Where could that kid be going? Probably just going to eat.”

   The confident statement he said to himself sounded more like selfencouragement, because after that, there were nothing but frustrating issues. 

   Jaeyoung followed the anxiety and anger honestly according to the role assigned by ChoiYoona, saying, “Chu Sangwoo has no way of thinking about anything like this, for sure.” 

   Then, as he swept his gaze and looked around the brightly lit streets in Yeongdong, he had to call Yoona and ask her how she would take responsibility if something happened to that kid because she meddled without understanding the situation. After that, he received the message from Sangwoo through the phone that he did not answer 

   He searched every corner of the room and the bathroom in the semi-bar club where he had been a few times before, but did not find Sangwoo. So he asked the bartender and showed him a picture, confirming that Sangwoo was hiding in a corner, heavily drinking and then leaving. Jaeyoung exhaustedly wandered the streets, going to every place where a drunk person might fall, including the underground train station, bus stops, main roads, and side alleys. 

   Then, when he tried to go to a place where people were gathered and watching, he found Sangwoo fighting and wrestling with someone fiercely. The moment he saw the other person, his body immediately rushed forward. Jaeyoung intervened in the fight without thinking. When he regained his composure, he found Sangwoo lying on the floor, and the jerk who was about to punch the other person had run away… If he had been a little slower, Sangwoo could have been seriously injured. Just the thought of that made Jaeyoung tremble. 

   “Hey, why… why did you…”

   His emotions were in turmoil to the point that he couldn’t speak. He didn’t know whether he should pull the other person in for a tight hug filled with concern, or should he ask calmly why Sanwoo made him worry like this? Should he sarcastically ask why he put down his phone and came here to wander, or should he ask calmly why he was fighting with the locals on the street? His conflicting emotions made Jaeyoung breathless as Sangwoo struggled to get up from the floor.

   Sangwoo was in a drunken state and unconscious, but he didn’t seem to be injured. The drunk person in front of him could barely stand and had a frightened expression on his face. Jaeyoung caught a strong smell of alcohol from the person in front of him, and he thought that first of all, he had to suppress the swirling emotions and take Sangwoo home.

   While carefully slipping his arm under Sangwoo’s back to support his body, Jaeyoung noticed a kiss mark imprinted on the spot he loved the most on Sangwoo’s body. From that moment on, everything changed. Concern was replaced with anger, the support turned into a tug. Jaeyoung suppressed his longing for several days, holding back the words he wanted to say to the other person, and the admiration he had for the clothes Sangwoo chose for himself behind the scenes. Then, he abruptly pulled and dragged Sangwoo towards the car. Jaeyoung adorned himself in a black suit called “anxiety” and “apprehension” and stepped onto the stage that awaited him.

   The car raced, pounding his mind until it spun. Jaeyoung held onto the steering wheel tightly and remained silent, feeling like a fool who knew nothing. He didn’t know what to do, where to go, and how to deal with Sangwoo.

   “No…This isn’t the way.”

   Suddenly, Sangwoo straightened up. Jaeyoung noticed the abnormal fearful expression on the other’s face. Was it the way… Jaeyoung didn’t care in the slightest. The car passed the toll booth and soon left the city.

   “This isn’t the way to my house.”

   This time the voice grew slightly stronger, but Jaeyoung continued to evaluate the other’s words.

   “Where are we going? Why are you making that face? Do you want to argue?”

   The more he repeated the question, the louder his voice became. Sangwoo hugged himself, looking at Jaeyoung with a twisted neck, trying to suppress his anger. “Hey.”

   “Why?”

   “Shut up, please.”

   Jaeyoung said softly, a time before the fuse was blown. He wanted to grab Sangwoo and take off his clothes right now, to see if there were any more kiss marks on him. But he restrained that desire. However, when he heard the other’s words, Sangwoo remained silent for a moment before speaking up.

   “I’ll get off.”

   “I said, be quiet.”

   “I’ll get off.”

   Sangwoo unlocked the doors while the car was still moving. Startled, Jaeyoung locked them again, but the same situation repeated itself until he pressed the lock button for the fifth time. Jaeyoung exploded.

   “Hey, just tell me straight.”

   When being pushed into the corner, Sangwoo withdrew his hand from the door. His left hand, resting on his knee, trembled weakly, and he turned his face towards the window on the right side, avoiding eye contact.

   “Why… did you have to put me in a corner, insult me, and make me scared?”

   It was a humorous conversation that Jaeyoung had adapted to tolerate the superficial separation between good and evil for so long. But now it meant nothing at all, just a minimal return for his efforts to be a good person. Is it really that he likes the other side sincerely? Pointless, lucky enough that he didn’t say it out loud.

   “Hey?”

   Jaeyoung gritted his teeth and spoke.

   “Tell me how you really see me.”

   “…”

   “Why aren’t you answering? Normally, you’re not good at thinking before speaking, right?”

   Jaeyoung’s anger built up until it became a loud, noisy voice. Does Sangwoo know that while he couldn’t contact him, he traveled around in fear that something might happen? Does the other side know that he lost his mind because of worrying and wanted to know why he is so angry? Jaeyoung felt the anger that clouded his eyes and spoke again.

   “Am I just an object of desire to you, or not?”

   Sangwoo didn’t say anything. Jaeyoung chose not to be right, either by keeping the other side’s mouth shut or by letting them speak an uninteresting word over and over again.

   ‘Allow both parties to do normal things when dating.’ 

   ‘I haven’t thought about myself having this kind of preference.’ 

   ‘If I still couldn’t handle it at that time… I would just find someone else to replace you.’ 

   Let’s think about it.. There is only Jaeyoung who refuses to accept the truth.

   While Sangwoo continues to fluctuate constantly. If those words came from Sangwoo’s true heart, their relationship wouldn’t be so complicated. At the same time, there is only one thing left.

   Jaeyoung clenched his fists tightly, slowly releasing his words.

   “Don’t want to talk, huh? Then communicate with your body, alright.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “It means let’s have sex. Besides that, what else do you and I do together?”

   “I don’t want to.”

   The other party replied immediately. Jaeyoung clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

   “Why? Don’t you want to do it with me anymore?”

   “I don’t need to, hyung.”

   With each increasingly harsh word, he wondered if he had misunderstood something all along. Did he come to this point just to feel this heartbroken?

   The image in front of him turned pitch black.

   “Let me warn you.”

   Jaeyoung gritted his teeth.

   “If you want to see me lose control, feel free to keep speaking like that.”

   “What I say is my business.”

   Then the other party took it further. Determined to unlock the door from the inside of the running car. Despite being forbidden, Sangwoo still struggled to open the door like a madman in a car running at seventy kilometers per hour. The other party was thinking of doing something. Jaeyoung was furious, but tried to regain his composure and looked around, amid the dark and desolate scenery consisting only of condominiums and factories, there was no suitable place to talk before Sangwoo randomly jumped onto the highway. So Jaeyoung made the decision to pull over on the shoulder of the road.

   “Are you crazy? Do you want to die?”

   Jaeyoung lost his senses, his clenched fists were tight but he didn’t know where to put them, so he sat trembling on his knees. Sangwoo stared out the car window, his expression blank, sounding ignorant. 

   “I asked where you wanted to go, but you didn’t tell me. Instead, you just insulted and belittled me. And even threatened me…”

   Sangwoo’s face turned pale with pain. Then he raised his hand and rubbed his face. Jaeyoung felt like he wanted to gently embrace those trembling shoulders, at the same time, he wanted to inflict pain on the other party.

   “I’m too drunk. I’ll go now.”

   Sangwoo tried to open the door, but Jaeyoung grabbed his shoulder and held him back, making him turn his body to face him. Jaeyoung’s hand moved up to hold his chin, revealing a noticeable red mark on his neck, causing Jaeyoung’s grip to tighten.

   “I’m very drunk. I’ll go now.”

   Sangwoo tried to open the door, but Jaeyoung grabbed his shoulder and held him back, making him turn his body to face him. Jaeyoung’s hand moved up to hold his chin, revealing a noticeable red mark on his neck, causing Jaeyoung’s grip to tighten. 

   ________________________________________.

   [1] Chunhyang, the heroine in ‘Chunhyangjeon’, or Chunhyang’s Story, an ancient novel, is a woman who firmly adheres to her virginity. 

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 80: <1001> #8.

   Sangwoo quickly got up and grabbed the store employee to borrow their phone. The funny thing was that he was able to accurately recall the ten-digit phone number even though he was drunk and forgot everything else.

   However, Jaeyoung’s line was busy, so Sangwoo walked out of the store.

   He climbed the stairs with both hands and feet without any special reason, only feeling more comfortable doing it this way. Once he got up to the street, he chose to walk straight again. He had to take the bus at the stop across from the subway station, but he could not remember where the subway station was, so he just kept walking.

   ‘So annoying, should I take a taxi?’

   He spent forty thousand won on alcohol without thinking, “I can’t remember anymore.” And now he was thinking about taking a taxi again. Today was a day where he only spent money without gaining anything.

   Sangwoo was confident that he was walking, but then he realized that he was sitting on a saddle, and he couldn’t tell when he started sitting like this. Then, when he started to come to his senses, he found that there was someone sitting next to him.

   “What is this fate?”

   The other person acted like they knew him, but Sangwoo had only seen that face for the first time, so he was too shocked to ask who that person was.

   “You students have bad habits. You don’t even think that we might meet again.”

   Hearing that, it seemed like Sangwoo finally realized who the other person was. He turned to look to the side and met the gaze of a man with brightly dyed hair.

   “Are you looking for a hookup?”

   The guy spoke softly, seeming to understand all of Sangwoo’s sorrows. Sangwoo couldn’t say that he didn’t, so he answered like he didn’t feel anything.

   “I’m not to the point of addiction. I did a self-diagnostic test.”

   “But your beautiful eyes are telling me that you’re dying of loneliness.”

   “Then what should I do?”

   “Let’s go back to my place. The car is parked over there.”

   “Drunk driving is a crime.”

   “I’ll call a driver.”

   Sangwoo ran out of words at this point. At this moment, when he was so stressed out, he wanted the physical pleasure that Jaeyoung had given him intensely, but he could easily give in to going to a stranger’s house just for sex.

   ‘Either way, it’s not going to work out with Jaeyoung.’

   When he thought about it, Sangwoo had been on the wrong path ever since what happened with Jang Jaeyoung. The situation started after the other party had persuaded him that he could solve his sexual needs by giving him exactly the opposite result. Many nights spent with Jaeyoung had only heightened his desire instead of calming it down. Intense happiness had seeped into his daily life… and now Sangwoo could never go back to the days when he had no experience with men.

   He had done it with one person, so why not with another? After Jaeyoung had left, it was possible that he needed to find a new bed partner. If that time came sooner than later, what could go wrong?

   “Are you good at this or what?”

   Those words came out of Sangwoo’s mouth. He felt surprised by his own words inside, but that wasn’t a problem. If he borrowed Jaeyoung’s words to use, he would have to tell the truth about the current situation, “There’s nothing to lose.” The man laughed and leaned in towards Sangwoo, the smell of alcohol mixing with cigarettes and cologne until it overwhelmed his nose.  He had never hated all three scents before, but at that moment, he felt uncomfortable and had to distance himself a little.

   “Just kids who used to be happy with me, and now they are addicted to me.

   Just after you try it and don’t fall in love later, I hate these clingy types.”

   “If the satisfaction level is low after trying, how will you compensate?”

   “Try it first and then we’ll talk, I’m like this because of you, so you have to take responsibility too.”

   The organ at the zipper of his jeans was sticking out noticeably. The moment his own hand touched his neck, the man’s hand had moved closer to Sangwoo’s face. Fingers trembled like they had Parkinson’s disease. Sangwoo tried to ignore the other man’s finger. When the finger touched his cheek, he felt so uncomfortable he almost used violence.

   Judging by his posture and not sitting up straight, that man probably wants to kiss. Sangwoo was thinking for a moment whether to escape or not before deciding that things had turned out this way. Try giving a chance and see if it really meant something or not. He closed his eyes. Then the other man said, “So readily submissive,” and laughed out loud.

   Sangwoo had expected a gentle touch on his cheek, but the man had grabbed his neck and squeezed it tightly. From the moment their lips met, the feeling of dislike surged in. The other party’s mouth made a popping sound, and his fingertips rubbed above the sexual organs of Sangwoo, who had not yet felt any sexual feelings at all.

   ‘The worst of the worst.’

   Sangwoo dodged the other’s tongue and ended up being caught in the end. The man groaned and made Sangwoo feel queasy with his saliva before shoving his tongue down his throat, causing waves of nausea. Sangwoo pushed the other guy away and felt even more sorry. He was in complete darkness and didn’t know where to find someone to sleep with like Jang Jaeyoung or how to do it.

   “I haven’t sucked something this big in a long time. Can I just swallow you here and now?”

   “What are you saying? I’m not a fruit.”

   The man leaned in again and sucked on Sangwoo’s skin, knowing a few people who liked to do the same thing, but giving different feelings like the sky and the earth. Sangwoo sank into his sorrow before the man bit his neck really hard, causing him to regain consciousness. He used his hands to wipe off the saliva of the other person that clung to his chin and neck before speaking out.

   “Ouch. That’s enough.”

   “Or is there a problem with your eagle not catching prey?”

   “Well, that’s good.”

   The test was finally over. Sangwoo got up from the chair, wiped off the other guy’s drool with the back of his hand, and spoke out.

   “You’re not my type, I’m leaving now. Don’t follow me this time.”

   “Come on… give me a little, play along.”

   Sangwoo walked away quickly, but the man followed him with a look of annoyance, as if he had nothing else to do.

   “Do you mean it? We’ve gone this far?”

   “It’s no big deal. What do you want me to do?”

   “Still not over your old boyfriend? Did he go somewhere else? You need to find a new person.”

   The guy teased him again. Sangwoo felt tired as he pointed at the other guy.

   “Stop teasing me, I warn you.”

   “Just say it… do you think you can beat me?”

   “I’m a black belt, level 4.”

   It seemed like his mother sent him to learn taekwondo eight years ago to prepare for situations like this. Sangwoo didn’t have to use force, but that didn’t mean he was weak. If it weren’t for the law, the other guy would have been sleeping on the floor a long time ago.

   “Fuck you. You’re too small to fight with me.”

   The guy was so annoying with his excessive kissing. Sangwoo just wanted to shut his mouth up, even if it meant paying another 10,000 won.

   “If you want a criminal record, start now. I won’t be a party to it. I’ve never agreed to it before and I won’t now.”

   Sangwoo said he walked quickly, but as soon as he was grabbed and pulled by the man, his body turned the other way. Sangwoo looked at the other person angrily, the floating hair almost got into his eyes, but he quickly bent down to avoid it. The man then stretched his arms wide into the air.

   ‘Even so, it doesn’t mean that I have to actually hit him. This crazy guy has gone too far.’

   Sangwoo quickly looked around but there was no one who could be a witness, and the phone had been turned off in this situation where he had to call the police like this. If that was the case, there were two options left. It had to either let the other person fall or run away.

   “Annoyed, just got into trouble with this nervous guy, hey. If you don’t get along with me, come and fight me again.”

   If he was caught by the police even once while confronting the other person, then both sides would be considered guilty. Sangwoo decided to choose the safer option, he started to run, and the man immediately chased after him, both of them were drunk. Even though they stumbled, they chased each other as fast as they could, then they reached a busy street where people were passing by.

   ‘Protect the witness.’

   On the opposite side of the street, he saw a blue sign of a police station next to an underground subway station. For now, Sangwoo had nothing to fear.

   Therefore, the tension seemed to relax.

   “Stop it now, you crazy person!”

   Sangwoo ran smoothly until he heard a curse, and in a moment his legs tangled, causing his chin and knees to collide with the ground so hard that he couldn’t get up for a moment, and then his shirt was pulled from behind and he was dragged down completely.

   When his body was grabbed and turned back, he came face to face with the other person. The other man climbed up and sat on his legs, then grasped the collar of Sangwoo’s upper body. Then he used his fist to hit Sangwoo’s cheeks with an angry face.

   “Why did you have to make it so bloody? It would have been better if you had gone along with me when I was still in the mood instead.”

   “The police station is right over there.”

   “Oh, I see. I’ll kill you first before I go to jail, you son of a bitch.”

   It seemed that the other person was angrier than Sangwoo thought, and he suddenly kicked up and slammed down onto Sangwoo’s face. Sangwoo used his palm to defend himself before using his arm to hold onto the other person’s neck tightly. Then the other person screamed and used his knee to hit Sangwoo’s legs aggressively and pulled his hair until it hurt.

   They took turns flipping each other over and over, fighting each other ruthlessly. The people around them began to come and make noises and take videos. Although Sangwoo had yet to aggress against the other person, the fact that it would continue like this could be seen as a physical altercation between both parties. While he was thinking about running away to seek refuge at the police station, the other man hugged his waist tightly. Sangwoo used his leg to kick as hard as he could.

   “Would you just agree to even one round so that it can be over?”

   “You bastard!”

   Sangwoo heard the loud curses and at the same time felt exhausted and defeated.

   ‘Come on, punch me then.’

   Sangwoo reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged away, feeling furious. The situation was already extremely dire. Getting punched would probably not be worse than this. Sometimes, he might even feel better if he saw that guy paying the fine.

   ‘Choi Yoona, I won’t let you go.’

   Sangwoo gritted his teeth, feeling as if his body had been twisted. He never thought that there would be a day in his life that would be as infuriating as this.

   He wanted to erase this day from the calendar completely.

   ‘Jang Jaeyoung, you son of a bitch.’

   The feeling of resentment was building up inside him, but it wasn’t just today that was a problem. His life had been chaotic because of that damn error unfortunate of a person. As soon as he realized it, the other party also threw a punch. Seeing that, Sangwoo closed his eyes tightly.

   Thump!

   The sound of flesh hitting flesh grew louder, but he didn’t feel any pain.

   “…”

   When he opened his eyes again, he found that there was someone holding the man’s wrist. Sangwoo didn’t have time to understand the situation before he and the pervert who was punching him were pushed hard and fell to the ground.

   Sangwoo turned over and put his hands on the ground. After a few attempts, he found a clean-looking shoe in front of him. He placed his foot on the ground, which felt familiar. Sangwoo was scared and excited at the same time, looking up slowly.

   Jang Jaeyoung was breathing heavily and looked down at him with a terrifying look he had never seen before.

   SEMANTIC ERROR VOLUME 4

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 79: <1001> #7.

   “I want the same thing as that man.”

   When he looked to his side, he met eyes with a man sitting two seats away.

   ‘I am a person with no standing point.’

   Sangwoo silently complained in his heart, and then waited. As the bartender brought a glass in front of him, he took a couple of sips of the bitter liquor. Suddenly, he felt heavily drunk and blinked several times. He felt better after he put his face down on the table. He did not know how long the man who was sitting with his legs swinging in a restless position was sitting there before someone put a cocktail glass of clear liquor with a cucumber next to him.

   “I’m happy. I met someone who has the same taste here.”

   The man who used to sit two seats away leaned in towards Sangwoo.

   Sangwoo replied while still having his face on the table.

   “I’m not drinking this because it’s tasteful, but because I don’t like the other options.”

   “I didn’t mean the taste of the liquor.”

   “If so, then I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

   “Are you looking for a man?”

   The man leaned down and whispered in his ear. Sangwoo lifted his head and asked.

   “How do you know?”

   “Because I see you looking at men.”

   “Please don’t assume things. It’s not about you.”

   “Why wouldn’t it be about me? I’m a man too.”

   ‘That’s true.’

   After being shown a significant and unforeseen loophole by the other party, Sangwoo scrutinized them once again. The individual had short, light-colored hair and was dressed in a suit. His eyes were piercing, and his demeanor was not very amiable. He had a tall, sturdy build, wore round, dangling earrings, and had a tattoo on the neck which boosted the score slightly. Despite all of this, Sangwoo still didn’t feel like they were similar to Jaeyoung.

   “I don’t really like you. Don’t bother trying to talk to me.”

   He shook his head and slumped his face onto the table again. Suddenly, a loud chuckle came from the side. The man sitting there remained still for a moment before leaning back on the bartender who was walking to the left. He pulled the chair close to Sangwoo.

   “You have charm.”

   “Please don’t use intimate language without permission.”

   “How old are you? 23? 24?”

   Sangwoo decided to just ignore the man’s lack of knowledge. But this time, his gaze wandered to the man’s hand as it moved closer to his face.

   “Don’t touch me. Consider yourself warned.”

   However, the annoying man didn’t listen to what he said. Sangwoo didn’t feel like dealing with such stubborn behavior and just sat there quietly for a moment. As the man’s finger was about to touch his cheek, he grabbed his hand and twisted it behind his back. The man tried to push Sangwoo, but he twisted his hand even harder. The other party grunted and cursed repeatedly.

   Sangwoo opened his phone to prepare for an emergency.

   “I told you.”

   “Ow! Wait!”

   “I’ll report you for sexual harassment.”

   “Ouch. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.. Enough!”

   As soon as he let go of the man’s wrist, he swore and muttered that Sangwoo was an annoying bastard. He opened his phone to deal with the emergency situation.

   When he looked at the time, it was displayed on the screen in large letters— 21:41. His eyes widened. It had been this long since he started drinking without realizing it. He had no idea that it was already three in the morning. As he was drinking, he absentmindedly opened his phone and found a notification. ‘36, missed call’ and ‘6 new messages.’ Sangwoo panicked and opened the messaging app.

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Are you sleeping? Are you okay? _20:42.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  I’m in front of your door. Let me in, _20:44.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Why did you go to Yeonsokdong? _21:02.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Why did you turn off your phone? _21:03][1.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Sangwooya _21:06.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Where are you? _21:30.]

   He didn’t intend to make the other side worry, he just kept drinking and relaxing. There was no clock in the shop, the phone battery was dead, and all these excuses made Sangwoo not care about Jaeyoung, and it was true that he didn’t want to care too, because the other side was bothering Sangwoo. It’s no different from a thorn on the sole of the foot.

   He stared at his phone screen. At that moment, a call came in. Sangwoo felt like his heart had fallen to his stomach and his breathing quickened. As soon as he touched the answer button, he attached the communication tool to his ear, and the sound of a long, heavy breath came through the line.

   [What are you going to do?]

   The sound of Jaeyoung’s voice sounded so pitiful that Sangwoo didn’t know how to respond.

   [I asked what you’re going to do, damn it?]

   The voice that he had been thinking about for the past four days, which made him feel confused, soon turned into sorrow. Sangwoo blinked and opened his mouth.

   “So, what right do you have to be angry with me?”

   [Why did you go there?]

   “Well, you disappeared. I called and you didn’t pick up.”

   [So, did you have to wear the outfit I bought for you to go see someone else?]

   Jaeyoung asked crudely. At the same time, every word from the other side was filled with anger. Sangwoo didn’t answer, if he said no, it would be a lie. Sometimes, if he liked the guy who came to talk to him for a moment, he might leave his contact information.

   [Why didn’t you answer?]

   “It’s because you didn’t give me a clear answer. So I came to change my mood.”

   He coughed after saying those words, and then took a breath. The subsequent silence was as cold and heavy as a lump of iron.

   [Do you think I’m too kind to you?]

   “…”

   [Hey, where are you? Let’s meet in person and then talk.]

   Although it was a voice that he wanted to hear for several days, the longer the call lasted, the stronger the feeling of discomfort grew. The heart that wanted to see Jaeyoung and the heart that didn’t want to see Jaeyoung had never clashed so fiercely before. What Sangwoo wanted from accepting the other side into his daily life was happiness. Not sadness and pain.

   “Why didn’t you pick up my call? Are you bored of me?”

   [Tell me where you are.]

   “I won’t tell you, answer me first.”

   [Do you really want me to scold you?]

   Jaeyoung stopped talking abruptly, speaking quickly.

   “I’m already crazy, so don’t make me angrier than this. Tell me where you are.”

   Yoona only said that Jaeyoung would definitely come to find him, but she didn’t say if he would be extremely angry. Sangwoo felt conflicted, resisting the others who had done wrong but at the same time being angry himself. He had a flaw in controlling his anger, and had lashed out before. And he still hadn’t explained anything.

   “There’s also a limit to how much I can tolerate. You keep doing whatever you want and how can you expect me to react? I already feel like my head is about to explode.”

   He gritted his teeth and spat out cruel words. Jang Jaeyoung, the Veggie Venturer, studying abroad, and the waves of depression that had come in during this period were too much for Sangwoo to handle. Sangwoo tried to breathe with all his might, but he was about to drown. Even though he hadn’t done anything wrong at all, it wasn’t fair at all.

   “Enough already, you stop contacting me. And then you come and insult me again, you heartless person.”

   [Hey… Chu Sangwoo.]

   “No matter what, I’ll already be a fucking loser.”

   [I asked where you are! How many times do I have to ask?]

   “Don’t try to push me around!”

   He was so frustrated that he wanted to cut off the call and disappear, but the screen went black just then because the battery had died. Sangwoo laid his mobile phone on the table as if throwing it away with a feeling of hopelessness.

   As he saw the bartender in the distance moving closer, he ordered another glass of liquor. He didn’t know how many glasses he had already had.. If it was a matter of calculation, he had never failed before, but he couldn’t remember at all, he felt nauseous and dizzy. The image of the bartender pouring the cocktail began to blur.

   At that moment, the cocktail glass was in his line of sight. Sangwoo took a strong sip, the liquor he drank wasn’t what he ordered, it was handed over to him by the man sitting next to him. He took out a ten thousand won bill from his wallet and put it in front of the other person, but the other person’s face turned pale and he couldn’t say anything.

   “Ugh… how annoying.”

   Sangwoo evaluated the other’s words, there was still half a glass of liquor left, but the liquor he had ordered had been served, he sighed with his face on the table, thinking that if he drank everything he might die. At that moment, the sound of Jaeyoung’s voice grew louder in his head, making him feel restless.

   “You’re a straightforward person.”

   Sangwoo considered the words of the other person, there was still half a glass of liquor left, but the liquor he had ordered had been served, he sighed with his face on the table, thinking that if he drank everything he might die. At that moment, the sound of Jaeyoung’s voice grew louder in his head, making him feel restless.

   ‘How annoying, goddamn.’

   He changed his mind and drank the remaining half glass of alcohol in one go.

   Then the man sitting quietly beside him annoyed him again.

   “How old are you?”

   “It’s private.”

   “Are you a student?”

   “It’s private.”

   “Why are you looking for a man?”

   “…”

   “Why? Is your hole itchy?”

   Sangwoo took a deep breath and turned to look to his left. He might be sexually harassed by these human remains. The situation was so absurd that he had to laugh it off.

   “Laughing like this during a crisis is sexy.”

   That remark immediately put Sangwoo in a bad mood.

   ‘You look cute. The more you smile, the cuter you get.’

   Jaeyoung’s voice played repeatedly in his mind, causing him to feel the four emotions – anger, sadness, frustration, and annoyance – boiling inside him like a crazy person. Sangwoo rubbed his face with his hand before he was surprised to find that his cheeks were as hot as flames.

   “The person you were talking to earlier, where did they go? Did they go to the office?”

   ‘This damn animal.’

   The trifling words of this stranger he didn’t even know kept irritating him.  Sangwoo argued that he wasn’t a boyfriend and didn’t want to admit that Jang Jaeyoung would be leaving in the near future.

   “Why do you talk like we’re close?”

   “Sorry.”

   The man easily backed off more than he expected. As soon as Sangwoo picked up the untouched glass of cocktail that was next to the on the last seat of the row, the other party also followed and sat a bit further away.

   “Thank you.”

   “…”

   “I might be too forward, but I really like your style. If it makes you uncomfortable, I apologize.”

   Sangwoo looked at the other party with a suspicious gaze, but did not take the extended hand.

   “You are a student. I’m thirty-four years old and I own a fairly good personal business. I’m confident that I can take care of you. Would you like to talk to me? I’m not the type to play games and hide things.”

   That man didn’t realize that a smile would make him look more polite, but Sangwoo remained unchanged.

   “No, thank you.”

   “May I ask why?”

   “I’m quite picky about looks. They have to have a nice voice, be good at drawing, skateboard, and play basketball. And also be 27 years old.”

   He finished speaking and immediately lifted the glass to drink. On the other side, the person muttered in frustration, having heard a disappointing story.

   “Is he crazy or something?”

   He was drunk. Very drunk. Sangwoo could feel it, after drinking all the alcohol. The annoying man still hadn’t left, the plan had failed miserably, and it was time to go home.

   He went to the bathroom, planning to pay the bill afterward, but there were two English-speaking women who followed him in and invited him to chat, causing him to lose a little time. Sangwoo was confident in his English reading and grammar skills, but conversation was still difficult. No matter how hard he tried. Moreover, the music was so loud that he could hardly hear what they were saying. They handed him their phones and kept asking questions, but Sangwoo couldn’t help.

   Sangwoo apologized and took his debit card out of his wallet to hand it to the bartender along with the bill.

   “This is an ID card.”

   “I’m sorry.”

   After correcting the mistake, the woman smiled and calculated the amount, the amount written on the receipt was 45,200 won. Sangwoo wondered if he had been drinking only ten thousand won liquor. Then why was there a balance left and why was there a phone number and a smiley face symbol on the receipt?

   But he stopped thinking because of his headache.

   When he got up and stood, he staggered. Sangwoo put his hand on the wall, walked for a while, and thought that he couldn’t go anymore, so he leaned back against the wall at one corner and sat down. As he closed his eyes for a moment, he felt sleepy and woke up again, the song had changed, and there were many people walking around the club.

   ‘Ex-Friend, can’t remember which album or the name of the album, can’t remember which song, name of the song, Silence.’

   Sangwoo sat there, immersed in the booming music, “thud, thud, thud.”  Jaeyoung had played this song from his phone in the office to kill time. Four days ago, when he was riding in a car along the Han River with another person, he heard this song.

   ‘Sangwoo-ya.’

   Sangwoo turned pale, feeling like tears would start pouring out.

   ‘Sangwoo-ya.’

   He couldn’t remember what they fought about, and didn’t know why the other person was so upset.

   ‘Sangwoo-ya.’

   In his head, there was only longing.

   ______________________________________________________________

   ____.

   [1] The sentence with a typo or an extra word in the chat was a typo according to Jaeyoung.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 78: <1001> #6.

   “Uh… I wonder if I chose the wrong major.”

   Yoona took a rectangular mirror from her bag and stuck it into Sangwoo’s hand. Then she turned back to search for a box in the corner of the room. Meanwhile, Sangwoo looked into the mirror quietly before raising it up for closer inspection.

   ‘I don’t see anything that has changed.’

   He looked critically at the mirror, but he still couldn’t feel any difference – except for the slight rise on his forehead. Meanwhile, Yoona threw one of her shoes towards him, a brown open-toe pump without straps.

   “What shoe size are you? Try this pair.”

   “It’s not mine.”

   “Just try them on.”

   Sangwoo took off his black sneakers without any choice. Then he placed them flat under the table and put his feet into the pumps, feeling a little strange but they fit just right. Yoona took a lip balm out of Jaeyoung’s drawer and helped apply it on Sangwoo’s dry lips, as if that was his fault. Then the woman commanded him to stand up.

   He stood up, feeling like a fool. Yoona hugged him and looked carefully at him from head to toe before sitting down with her legs folded, revealing her tiny ankles.

   “Great. If you had some jewelry it would be perfect…”

   After saying that, she ran to her own table, opened the drawer, took out several necklaces and rings, and walked towards him.

   “I don’t wear anything like that.”

   “Just look at this one, it looks so cool.”

   Sangwoo frowned when he saw the skull-shaped head and raised eyebrows in the picture. Yoona noticed his expression and tossed the remaining scraps onto the table before handing him a silver bracelet without any patterns on it.

   She then put it on his wrist before sighing.

   “Jang Jaeyoung’s eyes will pop for sure.”

   Yoona picked up her broken smartphone and took a couple of pictures despite seemingly being unable to have it fixed from her shirt pocket.  Sangwoo hugged one side of his chest and looked at the other party.

   “I have done everything you told me to. Now, can you explain what we’re doing?”

   “It’s a strategy… something I declared as the most sophisticated policy, Chu

   Sangwoo.”

   “What should I do then?”

   “Is there any law that says we have to be on the same side? We can talk and answer like equals. After this, you will kill some time, have a quick dinner, and around 2 a.m., go to Yeonsokdong. Drink some alcohol at a bar there. I’ll handle the rest.”

   “Why should I have to drink in Yeonseokdong?”

   “Because there are a lot of good bars there. Do as I say. Then, Jaeyoung might call you. If he missed your call once or twice and you answer next time, tell him clearly that he wasn’t clear. You then change the atmosphere, this is a proven strategy. 99%.”

   “What’s the percentage of error?”

   “Don’t ask any weird questions.”

   Sangwoo blinked, thinking that he might run into Jaeyoung if he went drinking in YanSanGok. While Yoona only talked about the method and the results of the strategy, she didn’t explain how it worked.

   “If we do that, will he come?”

   “Just saying, 95% or whatever.”

   “Why does the success rate decrease when you said it is going to be 99%?” Yoona made a frustrated face, but it was an important issue for Sangwoo.

   “Let’s assume he’s sick of me and the probability of him coming to see me is

   1-5%. What should we do then?”

   Yoona had a variety of facial expressions and the same goes for this time. Her expression changed as if she was acting in a drama, giving the feeling of despair before changing the expression and laughing out loud.

   “If that’s the case, then Sangwoo, you should have a pretty unnie or a handsome sunbae in that area to have them treat him to alcohol. Then, forget about Jang Jaeyoung.”

   Sangwoo frowned and sat down on a chair, his eyes locked onto the young man wearing a V-neck shirt reflecting on the black screen of his power-saving laptop mode.

   Yoona, flustered, said her goodbyes and lightly patted Sangwoo’s back.

   “Fighting. Chu Sangwoo, love is just complicated like this.”

   “It’s not love, just a little crush.”

   “And remember, only two missed calls are enough. That Jaeyong is really scary when angry, you know? I’ll go first.”

   “Thank you for your help. I hope the interview goes well.”

   Yoona smiled and left without saying anything, leaving Sangwoo to take a deep breath and open the bus app.

   “An excellent top-down policy.”

   He laid out the route and reviewed the plan in his head.

   Work until 6:00 p.m., eat at the cafeteria, collect his bag and brush his teeth, take the bus at 7:20 p.m., arrive at Yeonseokdong at 7:56 p.m., drink, screen calls and answer on the third time, and tell Jang Jaeyoung to be more clear when changing the atmosphere. Then he waits.

   It wasn’t the most trustworthy advice, but there was no other way… Sometimes, when you fall into the water, there’s no choice but to grab onto a straw of rice. return 0;

   The app clearly stated that it would take thirty-six minutes to reach the destination, due to traffic accidents causing congestion on the road, therefore making it slower than usual. On top of that, he checked his mobile phone frequently today, keeping both the GPS and map on at all times, which caused the battery to run out twice as fast.

   As the anxiety began to grow, Yoona called. Sangwoo quickly answered.

   “Hello.”

   [Where are you? Are you ready?]

   “I’m still on the bus. I won’t make it there by 2:00 a.m. What should I do?”

   [I haven’t contacted them yet. It’s okay, can you reschedule it for 3:00 a.m.?]

   “Okay. I should have arrived by then.”

   [Okay! That’s it then.]

   “Wait a moment.”

   [Why?]

   “What are the chances of success right now?”

   [100%, yes, just remember what I told you.]

   “I understand. That’s all then.”

   Sangwoo took a deep breath after putting down his phone. The bus was packed with passengers, making the air hot and stuffy. He stood holding onto a handle, staring at the red dot on the slowly moving map app. But now he had another call coming in from Jaeyoung.

   “…”

   He didn’t even have time to start a plan, what is this? Did Yoona undermine him? Sangwoo clenched his phone tightly and couldn’t do anything. A call from Jaeyoung came in and lasted for a moment. Just as the call ended, another call came in immediately. Sangwoo stood still, afraid that he might accidentally answer the call without intending to.

   After the screen displayed “Missed call 2,” some text messages also arrived.

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  I give up _19:55.]

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  Keep flirting with you and I’ll probably die before 

   I’m executed _19:55][1.]

   Sangwoo frowned, Jaeyoung’s message, written without spaces, had the highest level of difficulty in reading, like his handwriting. Sangwoo tried to decipher which word was misspelled before losing concentration.

   [Jaeyoung, ㅅㅂ♨:  I have something important to talk to you about, I’ll come to your house later  _19:56.]

   But even so, he could understand the consecutive messages that followed.

   ‘I’m not at home right now.’

   He was on a bus heading towards the winding mountain range, the plan had been fully laid out already. Sangwoo bit his lip, feeling hesitant. He thought asking Yoona for advice on what he didn’t know would be better.

   [What now?]

   “Jaeyoung contacted me and said he’d come to my house. Should I avoid him?”

   [Hey, don’t do that. He has screwed up nine times and now he wants to do something good once? That’s a common method. If I tell you to do something, just do it. It’s that simple.]

   “Are you sure?”

   [Do you want to keep being pushed around forever? Now it’s time for that guy to see it. Ignore the calls. And do what I told you to do.]

   “What do you mean I don’t have to answer just two calls? There have been two calls already.”

   [Change your plan and don’t answer until three in the morning. Got it?]

   “Understood.”

   Sangwoo felt frustrated.

   “Can’t I just go home?”

   [No, that’s it!]

   Yoona, who plans heavily and cannot express her opinions directly, after hanging up, the plan appears on the screen again, the red dot on it is far from home.

   Nine minutes later, the bus arrived at Yeonsokdong. Sangwoo headed to the bar that he had searched for in advance, which was said to have the most comfortable atmosphere and best service in the area. Although it was just an ordinary evening, the street was filled with people who came out to have fun, making him feel uneasy. Even though he was bumped by drunken people, he didn’t receive any apology, and was even splashed with liquor. Sangwoo pretended not to see any of these immoral acts and let them pass because there was something more important.

   The bar he was looking for was located on the first underground floor, with a sign decorated with light bulbs, a staircase leading down to the lower floor, and a black ceiling. As he passed through the cozy dimly lit hallway, a spacious and dark area appeared before his eyes, with two or three people dancing on one side and a table for drinking on the other. Electronic music echoed loudly from the speakers, although it was the type that Jaeyoung liked, but it was not on his playlist.

   Sangwoo walked to the bar that had a wide selection of liquor and beer, placed his mobile phone and wallet on a long table, and then sat on a stool that was high enough not to touch the ground with his feet.

   “Can I have a menu, please?”

   The bartender with an extravagant hairstyle handed him a menu divided into two pages. Sangwoo found it difficult to choose a drink because there were too many types of liquor and beer with unfamiliar names. He picked up his mobile phone and typed in each name of the cocktail and checked the ingredients on the internet. No sweets, no fruit juice, no cola. After eliminating several options, only a few were left to choose from.

   “I’ll have a Martini, please.”

   The search was complete, and the battery was only 6% remaining. And then.. Sangwoo reluctantly turned off his mobile phone. He planned to turn it back on in forty-three minutes.

   Having searched for it, he knew that it was a mixture of gin and vermouth in a ratio of 5:1, shaken together, the young woman used tongs to remove ice cubes and poured the liquor into a stemmed glass, rubbed the lemon peel around the rim, squeezed a green olive into it, and then handed it to Sangwoo.

   He received the glass and drank it in one gulp, causing the bartender to be surprised by his facial expression. The bitter liquor, without any sweetness at all, was also hot and dry. His heart was beating fast, perhaps because he had drunk liquor with twice the strength of Soju in one go. Sangwoo still wanted to drink a couple more glasses, otherwise he might be so anxious that he wouldn’t be able to wait until three o’clock.

   “May I have another glass please?”

   “Certainly.”

   “What time is it now?”

   “Just a moment… It’s 2:23 am.”

   “Okay.”

   After sitting and waiting for a moment, the bartender expertly made another cocktail for Sangwoo to gradually sip on so he wouldn’t get too drunk.

   Sangwoo asked about the time twice more, but there were still over thirty minutes left until 3am.

   ‘What am I doing here?’

   Suddenly, Sangwoo felt embarrassed. As a university student, his main responsibility was to study, yet here he was sitting at the bar buying a cocktail that cost more than 10,000 won but was less than a hundred milliliters. He was wearing unfamiliar clothing and in an unfamiliar place doing unfamiliar things at a level that made him uncomfortable due to his sexual desires. Despite feeling awkward, Sangwoo quickly made the glass empty again despite deciding to drink slowly.

   This time, he felt the hotness of the alcohol burning his throat. Meanwhile, his anger and anxiety gradually subsided. The liquor acted as a nerve suppressant that calmed down Sangwoo’s emotions that fluctuated up and down. He felt a slight relief, turning his chair to look around comfortably.

   The bar was filled with various people – big ones, thin ones, ones with fancy clothes and ones with simple clothes, ones who were young, and ones who were old. Sangwoo’s eyes lingered on the young men in the crowd.

   Despite intentionally observing and scrutinizing, there was no one that he liked. If they weren’t overweight, they were too thin. Some didn’t look attractive up close, some had unattractive hands, some didn’t have a good voice, and some didn’t walk elegantly, some didn’t look good when they laughed, some had overly tough facial expressions, some looked stupid, and some were just too enchanting. Sangwoo found it too easy to recognize the faults of people who passed by.

   ‘Think about Jang Jaeyoung’s first impression. It wasn’t good either.’

   Yes… It was like that. The other guy was just a forty-minute latecomer thug but he didn’t feel wrong at all. At that time, he didn’t pay attention to Jaeyoung’s appearance, so Sangwoo felt hurt.

   Maybe it was because of the alcohol, tears started to fall. The control over his anger was flawed, his emotions fluctuated, his mood was fragile, and many strange symptoms occurred since he met Jaeyoung.

   While Sangwoo ordered another glass of whiskey, he heard a voice from the left.

   “I want the same thing as that man.”

   ____________________________________.

[1]       “Keep flirting with you and I’ll probably die before I’m executed.” The Korean sentence is, 너랑, 밀당하다가, 제명에,  못, 살, 듯(Neorang mildang

   hadaga Jaemyeong-eomdulseut).”,  which is typed without spaces. “In

   Korean, there is a grammatical rule  for spacing, like in English.” The correct

   spacing for the above sentence  is, “너랑 (With you), 밀당하다가 (While flirting), 제명에 (At execution), 못 (Cannot), 살 (Live), 듯 (Maybe).” Typing  without spaces can lead to misunderstandings.

[2]       Due to Jaeyoung’s lack of spacing in his writing, Sangwoo misinterpreted the  words. Originally, the meaning should have been “with you” with  ”that man,” “flirting” with “playing,” and  ”executed” with

   “life/breath,” “cannot” with  ”not,” and “Maybe” with “seems like/looks like.”

   But since they were typed continuously, Sangwoo took “가 (ga)” from “다가 (daga) and combined it with  ”제명에 (jemyeong-e)” to make  ”가제 (gaje),” which can  mean “gasoline” or “temporary title,” and “명 (myeong)” which can  mean “name” as well. “에 (e)” is a word that has various meanings.

   Going back and forth, Sangwoo  did not know what Jaeyoung meant to convey.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 77: <1001> #5.

   Tuesday, May 29th.

   Although sleeping for five hours is a short period of time, it made Sangwoo feel much more relieved. When he woke up, he felt much better and was able to distinguish between the strong remaining problem and the small problem. He decided to solve the problem in front of him first. Sangwoo thought that today, no matter what, he would drag Jaeyoung out and ask him why he was angry.

   [Can you tell me Jaeyoung’s address? _9:51.]

–     [Choi Yoona, Graphic Design: I don’t know _11:23.]

–     [Choi Yoona, Graphic Design: Why? What happened??? _11:40.]

   [I don’t know, just asking. _12:01.]

   Even though the first attempt failed.

   Sangwoo intended to wait until half past six, which was the scheduled meeting time. If Jaeyoung did not show up, he would go to the faculty office to ask for the other party’s whereabouts. However, if the information was not provided due to privacy concerns, he would go to the Faculty of Fine Arts and Drama Club and ask everyone he met.

   Sangwoo encouraged himself and picked out the clothes that Jaeyoung bought for him to wear, wearing a white hat on his head. He thought he looked strange reflected in the mirror in the bathroom, but he couldn’t help before he was ready. He thought he had to wait for Jaeyoung to come. If he wore clothes that the other party liked, it was highly possible to impress positively.

   Although he bought these bright-colored jeans just right without trying them on, they were more attached to his body than regular clothes, so he had to be careful when riding a bike. The white T-shirt itself had a sharp-cut neck, giving a refreshing feeling.

   Although he felt unnatural, he could adapt quickly. He attended two classes, ate, read books at the library for two hours, and headed to the office. By then, he had forgotten about the new outfit.

   Jaeyoung’s seat was still empty today, but someone he didn’t know was searching for Yoona’s whereabouts instead. Sangwoo thought that the other party was not a thief, so he let it go like that. If it were a thief, he would have been surprised and would have run away as soon as the door opened. The woman in the long pants and navy suit turned her head to look before widening her eyes.

   “Uh…what’s with you today? Why are you so cool?”

   “Who are you?”

   The woman with black hair tied in a ponytail.

   “Chu Sangwoo, you’re doing too much.”

   Sangwoo knew someone with a similar way of speaking and tone of voice, but the appearance of the woman in front of him did not match her.

   “What are you looking at? Am I beautiful?”

   The woman’s hair color, hairstyle, and clothing were all different, but above all, the lack of black eyeliner made them seem like completely different people.

   “…Choi Yoona?”

   “If you call me sunbae, will your mouth tear?”

   The other party made a gesture like a villain and lightly touched Sangwoo’s arm, ending his suspicion. If it wasn’t her, no one would behave so rudely anymore. Sangwoo retreated and spoke.

   “Please be careful about physical contact, and I already have an older sister.”

   “Everyone calls older women unnie. That’s it.”

   “But I don’t. I only use family terms with family members.”

   “It’s funny, Jang Jaeyoung… you still calls him ‘hyung-nim’.”

   “…”

   Yoona smirked and laughed at Sangwoo. Sangwoo trembled and thought seriously to find a reason to refute the argument of the other party, but there was no reason that he could use, because the contradiction was within himself.

   This was the first embarrassing defeat.

   “Do you know where the person sitting here is?”

   “How can I know where your hyung is?”

   ‘No need to ask.’

   Sangwoo gritted his teeth and picked up his notebook, judging from Yoona’s frequent fidgeting. It seemed that she knew about their inappropriate relationship, and it was lucky that she just let it go. He didn’t insult or mock her, he just opened his game and focused on starting to work. The other party started chatting him up.

   “Did you go shopping?”

   Although his appearance looked more polite, his inner self did not change. The woman thought that the T-shirt was beautiful and flipped over to look at the brand label on the back of the shirt.

   “Oh, we both spend money well. I thought of something and bought a new shirt.”

   “What are you talking about?”

   “You dress better than before.”

   “Wow, very much.”

   “Then it’s considered a success.”

   Yoona hugged her chest and smiled, although her makeup style had changed, her smile remained the same.

   “Are you doing this to look good in someone’s eyes?”

   “Who else? You already know why, why ask again.”

   “…”

   Yoona sat down quietly in Jaeyoung’s seat and remained silent for a while. Sangwoo picked up his mobile phone to check, but there was still no contact from Jaeyoung. There was only a message from his sister asking for a laptop recommendation that was good, cheap, lightweight, and weighed only about one kilogram. He opened and read it, then evaluated it. There was no email from his designer in the inbox.

   Sangwoo stared at the door, as if doing so would make Jaeyoung walk in.

   “Are you two doing well lately?”

   Yoona’s question made him lose his concentration. Sangwoo’s gaze shifted from the door to the email box that had no new emails.

   “Not really.”

   “Really? I thought you will get along fine.”

   “No, failing is not an option.”

   As he responded like that, he could feel the anger and stress that had been brewing inside him for several days becoming more apparent. Sangwoo raised his hand to cover his face, feeling it twist.

   “I thought it had to be like that, and what? Should I scold him?”  “That’s funny. You don’t even know the address for real.” Sangwoo mocked Yoona in his mind.

   “If you’re tired, just contact me. I can treat you to a meal.”

   “I don’t need any help.”

   “Not just that, I mean while we’re eating, I can help you curse and relieve stress in various ways.”

   “I don’t want anything like that.”

   Sangwoo turned to the side before meeting Yoona’s gaze, which seemed to pity him, even though he didn’t know where she was, but the other party had a close relationship with Jaeyoung. Sangwoo thought of one thing he could ask the girl for help with.

   “If that’s the case, please tell me about the person Jaeyoung dated during his first and second year, if you know anything.”

   Violating privacy, secretly investigating behind the scenes, collecting personal information. Sangwoo no longer cared about those things. Anyway, he stepped onto the path of immorality since he kissed Jaeyoung while “he thought” he was asleep.

   “You’re too obsessed with this. Knowing that won’t do you any good.”

   “If you want to predict the future, you need information from the past. It’s necessary for me.”

   “Um…”

   Yoona hesitated for a moment before starting to tell him that she passed the university entrance exam on her third try and didn’t know anything about Jaeyoung’s first and second year.

   “It’s okay if it’s not complete. Just tell me what you know.”

   “I understand.”

   She raised one finger with a puzzled expression on her face.

   “When I first came in, they were a couple from the Faculty of Fine Arts. The other party was two years older and they had been dating for about three months.”

   Then she raised her second finger.

   “During the hot season, I heard they broke up. Then he got a new girlfriend who was a dance major from Myung-Song University, about… two months ago? This person is also older, and they often quarrel. When he was punched in the face in the middle of a fight and left, he was relieved. When the fall season came, he had a new girlfriend again, who was an air hostess… I saw her when she came to the university, she was really beautiful, like… really beautiful.”

   Yoona held up three fingers and painted her face as if she were in a dreamland.

   “They broke up when he entered the military… which is like being together for only three months, you know? I’m not sure because we didn’t really keep in touch after he enlisted.”

   “Go on.”

   “I dropped out of school for a long time. When I came back to study, Jang Jaeyoung was already here. And then, about a year ago… he dated his tutor for a while. I heard she was thirty years old, but it seemed like it was only for a short time. Then he dated a law student for about four months? This girl was also very beautiful, even though she had already graduated… As far as I know, she was the last one.”

   Sangwoo analyzed incomplete data from all five and concluded that most of them mean Jaeyoung dated women in the arts, service, and language fields who were older or the same age for an average of less than three months, amidst data pointing in the same direction. Only Sangwoo, who was in the science and engineering field, younger, male, and in a same-sex relationship, was the only exception, so there was nothing to refer to.

   “Why did they break up?”

   “It seems like he was bored. He didn’t really think about dating anyone seriously from the beginning. Plus, he wasn’t really affectionate. Not sweet at all, which makes his girlfriend sad.”

   Finally, Sangwoo got some useful information from the girl’s words. It seemed that Jang Jaeyoung was bored with him because he cut off all contact like that. Yoona looked at Sangwoo and continued.

   “But as far as I can see, you have the winner.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “Looking at the people he used to date, most of them would be the adult and sexy type, right? But you… how should I put it… simple? Younger, male, and the fact that he is doing something he has never done before means that you are special, right?”

   ‘Because I’m not his boyfriend.’

   Sangwoo muttered to himself, but because of that, Sangwoo was confident that he could change the other’s mind, and their relationship was linked by their bodies. Sangwoo knew well that just kissing him was enough. Jaeyoung is hard now. Even though he learned from the internet, there were still techniques he hadn’t tried with the other person, but even if he tried to change the other’s mind…

   “It’s useless, because it’s probably over anyway.”

   The ending had been predetermined from the start, he was just foolishly lost in his love and didn’t prepare himself to deal with anything like a fool.

   Yoona’s eyebrows dropped, she spoke with a face that reminded one of a pouting puppy.

   “I understand that feeling well…”

   “…”

   “But even so, there is still time left, isn’t there? At least you can be together to the fullest before letting go, so you won’t have to regret it later. I myself have been in a similar situation, and all we did was argue until it ended badly.”

   Yoona took a painful breath. Sangwoo thought the other person was funny, even though it wasn’t about himself.

   “How’s Jang Jaeyoung treating you these days?”

   “He’s just as terrible as ever.”

   “Meeting the face but feeling like not seeing the person you are looking for, difficult to contact, right? Just keep drinking and ignoring phone calls, leaving me waiting. On weekends, they say they’re tired and want to rest, avoiding answering my questions. Only come when they feel like it, is it fair?”

   Well, it’s not just like that, but the fact that the other party disappears is worse than all of that. As soon as she saw Sangwoo’s face, Yoona’s pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

   I’m really annoyed, I see it as some kind of death and don’t care at all.

   Really. Never mind, I’ve already thought of something good. Just stay quiet…

   Suddenly, the other person approached without explaining anything. Then she grabbed Sangwoo, took off his hat, and threw it on the table.”

   “What are you going to do?”

   “Just stay still, I will take care of it myself.”

   She searched for Jaeyoung’s lip balm with an excited face, picked up a round container the size of her palm, opened it to smell it, and then walked towards him.

   “Don’t tell me you’re going to put it on my hair.”

   “Yep.”

   “Oh. No, thank you. Just go far away.”

   “Come on! Who said he wanted to look good, let’s do it a little harder.”

   “Wait a minute.”

   Although Sangwoo tried to resist, Yoona’s determination was strong, and she plunged in and messed up his hair, making Sangwoo have to give in and sit quietly. As he sat there feeling hopeless, the young woman hummed a song and styled his hair.

   “You have handsome eyebrows.”

   “Eyebrows are just eyebrows. How can they be made to look good?”

   “So how can they be made to look good? You wear a cap every day…”

   Yoona complained to herself and took a rectangular box from her own table, making a rattling noise. Then she took something that looked like a small toothbrush and pretended to poke Sangwoo’s eye with it when he looked away. As Sangwoo turned his face away unintentionally, Yoona grabbed his chin with her hand and pulled his face closer to her.

   “Are you a child? Just stay still for a minute.”

   “That’s not a knife, right?”

   “Shh, be quiet.”

   The metal touched the edge of his eyebrow and moved little by little, making a grating noise. Then it moved to the other edge of the eyebrow, and Yoona looked serious, as if doing something very important. Sangwoo even held his breath in fear of an accident happening.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 76: <1001> #4.

   Sangwoo’s eyes flickered while he was in Jaeyoung’s embrace, and the feeling of annoyance was useless and something that was far from rational people like him. Besides, this wasn’t a situation where that word could be used.

   “It’s not like that.”

   “What is it then?”

   “I said it’s not like that.”

   “Oh, I see.”

   Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly, causing the other person’s body temperature to rise above 36.5°C. In the midst of the heat, Sangwoo had a question in his head.

   What did JangJaeyoung gain from overlooking a healthy woman who was ready to get married and instead pursue a relationship with him? He pondered for a moment, but couldn’t think of any reason other than the same one he had for himself. Jaeyoung easily stimulated Sangwoo’s sexual desire, and effectively relieved it. Sometimes, Sangwoo himself might have the same meaning for the other party.

   “Hey, Jaeyoung.”

   “Yes?”

   “Why did you come to me?”

   “There are many reasons, should I tell you all of them?”

   “Sure.”

   “First of all… you have a beautiful neck.”

   The fingertip that used to stop behind Sangwoo’s ear traced down to his neck.

   “You have a cute face. The more you smile, the cuter you are.” The hand gently held the side of Sangwoo’s cheek.

   “You have fair skin, and your body is in great shape…”

   “You like the outer shell. I understand.”

   “Why are you so hot-headed? I just started. I could give you a hundred reasons.”

   Jaeyoung lowered his hand. Sangwoo still wanted to bury his face on the other person’s shoulder, but Jaeyoung slowly held him back.

   It seemed like the other party had something to say. In the midst of the darkness with a view of the night sky in the background, their eyes shone like stars. The big hand firmly held the back of his neck, not allowing him to look elsewhere. Then, the faint voice whispered in his ear.

   “All of that is not necessary. There is only one main reason.”

   “…”

   “But if I tell you, you might run away. So, I can’t tell you.”

   Sangwoo was very nervous for no reason, struggling to open his mouth.

   “Please tell me.”

   They didn’t do anything, just talked to each other, but their palms were sweaty instead of answering. Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo seriously, and then his face moved closer. The soft lips pressed against his forehead for a moment before sliding down to the left eyelid. Then, they moved to the right eyelid, followed by both cheeks, and the destination was the corner of the lips.

   Sangwoo anticipated a kiss would be followed by the removal of clothing, but Jaeyoung instead lingered with his lips pressed together before returning to his own spot. As he lifted his gaze once more, Sangwoo was met with a face that was difficult to read.

   “Why won’t you just tell me?”

   “I already answered.”

   “I didn’t hear anything at all.”

   “You’re such an idiot.”

   Sangwoo had almost never heard words like these before, but today he had heard them twice. His eyes, now almost black from the shadow of the moon that was slowly setting, carefully surveyed Sangwoo’s face.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “What is it?”

   “Why do you have to concern yourself with those things? It’s not appropriate for you. I’m stuck with you, and I know that as long as you’re sitting next to me, you’re mine and I yours.”

   His already heated body burned even hotter in response to the lewd words. Sangwoo tried to find an answer to Jaeyoung’s question. Although he felt the desire that made his consciousness fade away, he knew that it was an important question that could not be overlooked.

   The winner who took control of the control room in this war was sanity, the reason why in the studio he was not in a good mood, and the reason why at the restaurant he was so angry. Sangwoo quickly analyzed his own strange behavior and came up with a cause.

   ‘We often take out insurance to prepare for illness.’ He then looked at the gear and continued.

   “You might find someone you like more than me. And you probably won’t see me again.”

   As he spoke, the real body of dissatisfaction became clearer, and the anger he felt at the studio and the restaurant returned. At the same time, the desire slowly subsided.

   “It’s normal, isn’t it, that I’m confused because I didn’t prepare myself to deal with that kind of situation?”

   Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo with a neutral expression, and there was a moment of silence before the other side responded dryly.

   “There’s a reason for what you are saying.”

   The other side accepted it easily before moving a little closer to Sangwoo, placing his elbow on the armrest, and looking into his eyes with restraint. As he looked closely at Jaeyoung’s face, he realized that the other side was both alert and unemotional.

   “So go ahead and tell me. ChuSangwoo, what do you want me to do?”

   Jaeyoung asked a strange question with a slightly broken voice. Sangwoo looked at the trembling eyes of the other party with overwhelming emotions and almost answered that he wanted the other party to wear a mask when going somewhere, but fortunately, he restrained himself from violating human rights with rude language.

   The brain that regained control began to analyze the situation ahead. Is there anything Jaeyoung did to him? The other party is someone who is about to leave in two months.

   “Just focus on your work. As for dealing with me, I’ll find a way to handle it myself.”

   Sangwoo returned calmly and confidently. Although the desire had become more intense than expected in recent days, he thought there must be a way if it was too difficult to overcome the spirit alone. He thought about seeking psychological counseling, receiving treatment for addiction, going to a temple, or trying to find something to do during the semester break.

   Forty-two days have passed since he kissed Jaeyoung at the liquor store and started an inappropriate relationship. Although there were many ups and downs during that time, compared to the long life, it was just a short period of time, a small mistake that could be corrected someday. Sangwoo was a developer who was confident in debugging.

   “Deal with it? Deal with what?”

   At that moment, a cold voice pierced his ears. Sangwoo slipped out of his palace of thought-palace and turned to look at Jaeyoung, who had been staring at him.

   “If the milk runs out, do you have to change your eating habits or go buy it from the supermarket yourself? It’s something I have to deal with myself.”

   “Oh.”

   Jaeyoung just laughed lightly, looked up at the ceiling as if he couldn’t say anything, and then turned back to look at Sangwoo again.

   “Forget it, just like that pile of garbage.”

   “What do you mean?”

   Sangwoo frowned as he suddenly heard the curse word. Jaeyoung leaned back on the sofa and didn’t answer anything. His gaze that looked out the window was very scary, a hostile mode that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

   Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung who picked up a cigarette from his pants pocket and smoked it confusedly. He knew the other party was angry, but he couldn’t know what he did wrong.

   “Are you angry?”

   Instead of answering, Jaeyoung opened the window and exhaled cigarette smoke outside. Sangwoo looked at the cold face beside him and sighed. “Why are you angry at me?”

   “What am I to you?”

   “Why ask such a thing?”

   “Why did you come to me then? No, it’s fine, you don’t have to answer.”

   “Don’t just be angry like that. If I say something wrong, please let me know.”

   “You’re right, you never say anything wrong.”

   “So why are you angry?”

   Jaeyoung didn’t answer, he opened the door forcefully and got out of the car to stand by the railing and smoke. Even after a long while, the other person’s gaze remained cold.

   Jaeyoung started the car quietly and drove all the way to Sangwoo’s house, or until he got out of the car with his backpack. The other person still didn’t say a word.

   return 0;.

   Saturday, May 26th.

   Jang Jaeyoung was really angry and didn’t show his face, even his phone that had never been silent before was this time. Sangwoo set the sound to be turned on, thinking that the other person might call, and even left the window open wide, hoping that the other person would come back suddenly and find out, but it was useless.

   He tried to think of something good, so he could focus on his homework and work, but it wasn’t easy. His eyes just kept looking out the window. In his head, the image of a cold face kept popping up and wouldn’t go away.

   “What did I do wrong?”

   Before going to bed, Sangwoo tried to organize yesterday’s events with a diagram, but he couldn’t find the reason why Jaeyoung was angry. It seemed like the other person was starting to get angry while they were talking, but Sangwoo didn’t say anything dark or give any wrong information to the other person.

   Jaeyoung had always been aggressive towards him in the past, so now, whatever he didn’t like about the other person, he would just ignore it and pretend not to see it, and why did he have to be so hesitant now? Sangwoo wondered about that and fell asleep.

   return 0;.

   Sunday, May 27th.

   Continuing from Saturday, his productivity is now at its worst. Whenever someone is nearby, they distract him by playing, teasing, chatting, bothering, clinging, and tempting him every day. And suddenly, he is cut off, making it a problem.

   Throughout the two days, Sangwoo feels like he is being tested, tested by setting conditions to check whether the familiar experimental subject will respond without stimulation or not, testing for adaptability to see if the experimental subject can maintain the same condition when the familiar variable is removed, and testing for resistance or withdrawal symptoms by removing the substance that the experimental subject seems to be addicted to and researching the side effects.

   ‘Miss you.’

   The only conclusion is that Jang Jaeyoung has infiltrated his life too deeply.

   Although he opened the Jang Jaeyoung folder and looked through it from beginning to end, it was not fruitful, and because he kept doing it, it was just a waste of time.

   Whenever he has a meaningless thought, Sangwoo grits his teeth and focuses on his work even more. Although he can’t concentrate very well, since he has plenty of time, “09:00-24:00, excluding meal and three-hour break.” The amount of work he gets done is not bad, he finishes the group work in the morning and sends it to the members. Then in the afternoon, he successfully completed a major error correction. return 0;.

   Monday, May 28th.

   The next day, he read a book at the library for only two hours and went to the office room before the time arrived at 4:46 PM, but no one was there. Sangwoo worked on and off, and after a few hours, he couldn’t take it anymore. He called Jaeyoung, but the other party didn’t answer. He was in the office until 4 AM as usual, but the amount of work he got done was quite pitiful.

   [Can you explain why you’re angry?_ 6:36 PM]

   [Don’t you want to see me anymore?_ 7:41 PM.]

   [But I miss you. Can we meet today?_ 9:00 PM.]

   That night, Sangwoo couldn’t sleep and couldn’t separate his feelings from his thoughts, making everything chaotic. He used to not care about the past and couldn’t change it, or the present that was just an illusion. Sangwoo always looks towards the future.

   ‘I am stupid.’

   It seems that going back and forth with Jaeyoung would make him forget himself. It’s strange that he doesn’t plan to deal with anything related to the near future. I don’t know why he doesn’t try to make a real hypothesis, imagine a situation where there’s no one to help alleviate his needs, think about the times when the other party is gone, simulate a situation where he can’t find what he needs no matter how much he looks for it.

   Sangwoo’s life was destroyed and burned to ashes within just three days. Even though the fuel he used in his daily life was running out on time, why didn’t he prepare for such an important matter?

   ‘I am really stupid.’

   Sangwoo tried to calculate the quantity of Jang Jaeyoung’s necessity, even if it was excessive. How many times do they have to kiss in a week, how many times do they have to have sex to fulfill their desires? Time passes by continuously during this period, but Sangwoo still can’t close his eyes. Then he discovered the truth that He met Jang Jaeyoung too often.

   They have kissed more than 100 times.

   They slept together and had the wildest of sex at home 4 times in 19 days.

   The interval between the rounds he had to meet the other party was getting shorter and shorter.

   And the limitation he found again was that

   [The other party is going away in July.]

   The quest to solve the sexual desire that should end in one attack has limited time. Sangwoo thinks there is not enough time to create a game, but he does not really think that the time to meet the other party is running out because they keep releasing their desires, so it is easy to think that when time passes, the symptoms will improve on their own. It is a hope that is like a superstitious ritual that lacks analysis and is illogical.

   In the midst of darkness, Sangwoo felt a strong fear, he had to come up with a backup plan, but he felt so bad that he couldn’t come up with a good plan, his heart felt like it was being squeezed, he could only curl up under the blanket to make it deeper.

   Sangwoo wants Jaeyoung, but Jaeyoung is not by his side, and what’s worse is that he is about to leave and go abroad. No matter how he tries to calm down and not be angry, someday in July, supply and demand will clash again. Sangwoo bears the strong remaining problem and decides to solve the problem in front of him first. He thought that today, no matter what, he would drag Jaeyoung out and ask him why he was angry.

   return 0;.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 75: <1001> #3.

   “What’s wrong with you just then?”

   “…”

   Jaeyoung opened the door and pushed Sangwoo out. Even while walking down the iron stairs, his heart was beating so fast that it couldn’t calm down.

   Sangwoo stomped his foot hard on the ground.

   “Look at your face. Don’t you like this studio?”

   “No.”

   “Then what’s wrong? At the end of the meeting, you seem distracted.”

   “I don’t know.”

   Sangwoo spoke directly, he was definitely dissatisfied with something, and he was definitely afraid of something. He felt worse because he knew it was covered up, and he spoke out in anger.

   “The person you are chatting to, is it me?”

   “Are you stupid or something?”

   “Is it me?”

   “We’re joking around, you have to give me time to go out before I can date anyone, I’m always busy with work, let’s go eat something first, I haven’t had dinner yet.”

   “I already ate.”

   “Then you can eat again.”

   Jaeyoung caught Sangwoo who was walking fast and made him turn towards him. Sangwoo protested but still followed the other quietly on the main road, which was getting darker and covered with a lot of people. Loud music came from the clothing store, bar, and restaurants lined up along the street. Neon signs above the shopping district flickered and invited people to turn their heads.

   “Do you like Mexican food?”

   “I already told you that I’ve eaten.”

   It seemed like Jaeyoung took that as a yes, because Sangwoo was already sitting quietly in the small taco shop on the second floor. The shop, run by two dark-skinned, curly-haired foreigners, was almost too cramped to walk in. They had to wait for more than ten minutes to order two dishes with strange names.

   Sangwoo tried to sit still and calm down, but maybe it was because of the chaotic atmosphere that it wasn’t easy. In the narrow shop, there was a loud and exciting type of noise that had to be shouted to be heard. The two waiters only walked around and bumped into chairs while passing by. The water was quite warm, and the tables were sticky.

   Sangwoo, who was fragile and restless, tried to find something to focus on, such as the odd number of tiles in the box, the creased tissue that wasn’t neatly folded, and the picture hanging crookedly on the wall. He didn’t like any of it, but what he disliked the most was people’s gaze.

   In the cramped shop, the distance between tables was so close that you could clearly see what others were doing. It seemed like everyone was looking at Jaeyoung, including the women at the adjacent table, the order-taking staff, and the person standing up to pay. They all looked at Jaeyoung as if he were a fascinating toy.

   Whether Jaeyoung knew or pretended not to know, he only used his hands, feet, and chin to stare at Sangwoo. When their eyes met, the other party spoke without a sound.

   “Is there something you’re not satisfied with?”

   “I’m not dissatisfied with anything.”

   Sangwoo quickly looked down and felt that something was wrong, the desire to flip the table. Then he climbed up and sat on Jaeyoung’s lap, kissing the other heavily. If there were curtains, he would have wanted to hang them around to prevent anyone from seeing Jaeyoung. The inexplicable and twisted feeling was churning in his stomach. Sangwoo felt suffocated and had to drink water quickly.

   “Carnitas Asada Tacos, and Enchiladas, here you go.”

   Two dishes were placed on the narrow table. Although Sangwoo had already eaten dinner, he still picked up a spoon and put the food in his mouth. He chewed without knowing what it was before using a fork to pick up the white powder mixture, thinking it had a strong taste like Jaeyoung’s. He didn’t do anything wrong and used his teeth to grind it.

   “Are you hungry?”

   Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo while holding a fork in his hand. Sangwoo felt dissatisfied with that gaze, so he used the fork to poke the rolled-up powder like a Kimbab and cut it into large pieces. Then he handed it over to the other side without paying attention.

   “What’s wrong?”

   Jaeyoung slowly opened his mouth, but at the same time, he still looked suspicious. Sangwoo waited for the other side to finish eating and fed him again and again. He ate and fed alternately like that without stopping. The two dishes were finished in just thirteen minutes.

   “Let’s hurry and go.”

   Sangwoo breathed a little as he finished dealing with the food and wiped the seasoning stains on lips , leaving them in the cloth.

   “Oh… I understand.”

   Jaeyoung got up to pay for the meal. Meanwhile, Sangwoo went out to wait on the narrow, dark balcony. Then, as the other side came out onto the balcony, which was empty, he grabbed the other side’s shirt and fiercely kissed him without saying anything.

   He sucked and pulled as if he was going to bite the other side’s lips and used his tongue to sweep all over the mouth without consciousness. In Jaeyoung’s mouth, it tasted spicy hot.

   Sangwoo rushed in as if to swallow Jaeyoung, but that was the wrong way to solve the problem. Even if he used force, the frustration would still not go away.

   He thought about pulling his lips away, but this time Jaeyoung refused to let him go. The other side used his arms to hug Sangwoo’s neck, leaned his head back, and kissed softly. His neck touched the cold wall without realizing it before his head was pushed in again. His heart beat fast, and it was difficult to distinguish whether it was due to pain or because of mutual feelings, as everything was mixed together, including anger and desire, salty and sweet taste.

   Therefore, he was restless. Sangwoo couldn’t remember any advice, forgot even how to breathe, and could only hug the other side’s neck to support himself and remember the person in front of him.

   “You are clearly dissatisfied with something.”

   Jaeyoung whispered after the long kiss ended, his face red and his breathing heavy. Sangwoo didn’t know what to say.

   “I have a disease that I can’t control.”

   “This is the first time I’ve heard you speak so hesitantly.”

   After picking up his hat and putting it on, he walked out. The sky was darker than before, and the half-moon shone high, making it seem like Jaeyoung knew the complex alleyways like his own home. In the dark path, there were both drunk people passing by and foreigners who took off their shirts and painted on their faces, after almost colliding with people who walked in the park from the opposite side several times. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s shoulder like hugging a friend, but closer than that, and hugged him in his arms while walking forward.

   They soon arrived at the parking lot. Jaeyoung instructed Sangwoo to wait in the car while he went to pay for the parking.

   “Can I have your account number? I will transfer the money for the food, parking fee, and half of the studio contract.”

   “Hold on.”

   “Just tell me. I don’t want to go and withdraw the money.”

   Jaeyoung ignored Sangwoo’s words and drove out of the parking lot. Sangwoo looked out of the dark window, feeling slightly better sitting in the quiet car after dealing with the chaotic and confusing place. It was already after work hours, and the streets were empty and quiet. Jaeyoung simply made a phone call through the speaker and played music without saying anything.

   “Psychedel, Album 2, Pressure, Track 7, Downtempo.”

   “Correct.”

   The first song on Jaeyoung’s playlist was quite slow. Although he didn’t know what kind of music it was, Sangwoo felt that the low sound that echoed through the building was like a heartbeat. The slow electronic music helped calm his fluctuating emotions throughout the day, making him feel weak.  Sangwoo felt like he was floating in water, sinking into the seat. Then Jaeyoung turned up the volume.

   Suddenly, the car was driving along the Han River, the water flowing gently with Sangwoo’s head unable to grasp it. The fifth song started playing as the car was driving on the bridge. Sangwoo opened the window and let the wind blow against his cheeks.

   “Yoon Jisung, Album 1, Day and Night, Track 1, Temperature Difference.”

   Although Jaeyoung didn’t say anything, Sangwoo already knew that it was the correct answer.

   The car turned into the park and slowly stopped, the engine turning off along with the music and the sound of the engine.

   From the parking lot of the park, the river was clearly visible. The main character of the picture was the curved bridge whose lower part was submerged in the water and shone white. The light reflected on the water’s surface like light from a light bulb, LED, flickering as if dancing every time the waves softly hit. The residential areas on both sides were connected by a bridge, shining orange in the dark as if refusing to be swallowed up by the darkness at night. Although Sangwoo had been living in Seoul for more than three years, he had never admired the night view of the river that blended with light and darkness.

   “So beautiful.” [1]

   Jaeyoung spoke up after a long silence, and it was so quiet that even the stars in the sky seemed to twinkle and shimmer. There were no visible stars, but everything else was illuminated.

   “That’s right. It’s just because the eye’s pupils dilate more at night, allowing more light to enter.”

   “No, I mean you, Sangwoo.”

   Jaeyoung’s stoic face slowly revealed a smile as he looked at Sangwoo. Sangwoo quickly averted his gaze. When he lifted his hand to touch his cheek, he felt the warmth. Although he had heard compliments about his looks from adults when he went to visit relatives, the word “beautiful” was something he had never heard before in his life.

   ‘You, hyung are more beautiful than anyone else.’

   Sangwoo contemplated in his heart, perhaps because of this, the person who had just met for the first time wanted to start a conversation. The people around him just stared, their mouths agape. Typically, Sangwoo would be working with Jaeyoung in the same room. Therefore, he didn’t know much about what the other party did when they were outside. Previously, he didn’t need to pay attention to or care about such matters at all..

   ‘I feel uneasy.’

   He felt like he had opened a door to a room he shouldn’t have entered. He was filled with fear that something would happen in the darkness inside that would prevent him from returning to his previous state. The more he thought about it, the more afraid he became of how many people might like Jaeyoung. How many girlfriends the other person had, how many times had he driven other people here, and how many useless questions he wanted to know that constantly bothered Sangwoo’s mind.

   “Now you can tell me what you’re dissatisfied with.” Jaeyoung’s voice shattered the silence.

   “I’m not dissatisfied.”

   “Yes, you are.”

   “I said I’m not.”

   “You’re clearly dissatisfied.”

   Sangwoo frowned, feeling a strange feeling he wasn’t used to. Normally, just seeing the other person’s face would make him feel better, but today he just felt uneasy. Sangwoo sat up straight again and turned his face to the left [2].

   He was met with a stoic face he hadn’t seen in a long time, with tired eyes that showed no hint of playfulness, and lips that were straight to the point where it was impossible to guess what the person next to him was thinking.

   The other party’s hand moved closer to his eyes, and the wing of his hat turned to the side before pressing down on his shoulder.

   “Sangwooya.”

   Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo with a sly expression. Sangwoo didn’t say anything, just looked back at the other party, his lips inviting him to take a deep breath before speaking softly.

   “Are you angry about being held up at work?”

   “No.”

   “If you’re not satisfied with something, just say it, I’ll know.”

   “There’s nothing.”

   As he answered directly, Jaeyoung frowned slightly, his eyes wandering over Sangwoo’s face, considering whether what he heard was true or not. The other party’s gaze was so heavy and warm that he thought his cheeks were being touched, and Sangwoo’s heart felt suffocated.

   “The studio, are you going back there?”

   “No? We agreed to send the work by email.”

   “The people at the restaurant were all looking at you.”

   “So what? I didn’t feel anything.”

   “Hyung, are you a flirt?”

   “Not really.”

   “How many people have you dated until now?”

   “Five thousand people.”

   ‘It had to be like this.’

   Suddenly, the attitude shifted to a teasing, causing Sangwoo, who was speaking seriously, to become angry again. Someone who digressed, spoke incoherently, and joked endlessly. He knew Jang Jaeyoung better than three months, so he knew the other party’s tricks well. Jaeyoung laughed silently and hugged Sangwoo’s shoulder. Sangwoo inadvertently held his breath. He didn’t understand why the other party would act like that all of a sudden. Jaeyoung rested his chin on his forehead and spoke up.

   “The vacuum cleaner robot is annoying, and there are a lot of firmware developments.”

   ‘Are you jealous?’

   ____________________________________.

[1]      “It’s  beautiful.” The original Korean uses the word “이쁘다,”  which means beautiful, cute, attractive, good-looking, and is a word that can  be used to compliment both women and men.

[2]      and turned his face to the left, a Korean drove a car with a left-hand steering wheel.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 74: <1001> #2.

“The studio that I mentioned before, they sent a sample for some parts. Is it okay if we try listening to it?”

“I already gave you rights to handle the sound, you can handle it.”

Jaeyoung researched a lot about music, looking for examples from various websites and asking acquaintances. The studio that was mentioned was a friend who had just formed a band and had not yet been certified, but everyone heard that they were all talented.

“Hello. Mister President, right? I really liked the sample you sent me yesterday, so I wanted to discuss the details with you. Is that okay? Oh, anytime is fine? If that’s the case, I’ll go out now. I’m not going alone. I’m going with my business partner. We’ll meet in about half an hour.”

Jaeyoung spoke his mind and said he would take Sangwoo with him. Although Sangwoo had a schedule planned in his mind, he closed his laptop and picked up his charger without saying anything. In fact, Jaeyoung could go alone, but he liked the way the other person called him. So, Sangwoo decided to go with him.

After finishing packing, Jaeyoung came closer and patted Sangwoo’s shoulder.

“Shall we go then?”

That word… Can you say it again?”

“What?”

“The word you called me when we talked on the phone.”

“What was it?”

“Golden fish brain… If you can’t remember, it’s okay.”

“What? I want to hear words like mine, darling, or something like that.”

‘This crazy guy.’

Jaeyoung glanced at Sangwoo’s face before jokingly saying that it was just a joke. However, the other person said it without realizing what it meant.

Sangwoo quickly walked down the stairs, still feeling embarrassed.

The studio was located in Yeonseokdong. Although it used to be a lively business district with many foreigners living there, there were still narrow alleys that were dark and unsafe. Jaeyoung spoke up, enduring the discomfort.

“Everything is great here, except for the difficult parking situation.”

“Why did you bring the car? Your eyesight isn’t very good.”

“

“I’m wearing contact lenses and it’s fine. If I want to go have dinner with you and go for a drive, I need a car.”

“The job is very clear.”

“If we’re not going on a trip, at least we should go for a drive together, right?

It’s about having the right attitude.”

Jaeyoung complained before calling the studio owner. After a few words, he hung up and it seemed like he heard the response to look for a spot on the side of the road and park wherever possible.

Jaeyoung took out a contact card from the console and placed it before getting out of the car. Sangwoo followed the other side up the stairs made of steel.

“Are you Jaeyoung?”

“Yes. Hello.”

“Oh, Seungyong said you were good-looking. You really are. And it must have been a difficult journey.”

When they opened the door, the thick-bearded man greeted Jaeyoung with a smile. He was a burly man, wearing a gold necklace around his neck. He shook hands with Jaeyoung before turning to find Sangwoo. Jaeyoung pointed his thumb towards Sangwoo and spoke.

“He’s the game developer.”

“The young man is talented. Please come in.”

Sangwoo emphasized that he was a business partner, not a young man. He didn’t say it to be funny, but Jaeyoung burst out laughing, and the bearded man smiled too.

The other side said that they weren’t experts in game music. There were posters of hip-hop singers and postcards designed as souvenirs on the walls, almost confirming the words of the owner. The interior of the building was well-decorated, unlike the dilapidated exterior. This made Sangwoo feel a little more confident, and they started the meeting in a room with three monitors and two synthesizers. The studio owner introduced his previous work on the game before playing a looped song that he thought would fit well with the action game.

“These days, it’s trendy to add variation [1]to the game music to avoid repetition. I tried to choose a song that would fit well with the action game.

What do you think?”

Jaeyoung sat quietly and looked at Sangwoo before he started to give his opinion.

“I like song number 2. Even though it uses short, repetitive chords that are different from the trend you mentioned, it’s often found in games from the past.

However, if you speed up the tempo by 1.3, it would be great.”

“Please follow my business partnership plan. And I want the atmosphere to be intense, like what you see in the plan. Our game concept is quite exciting.”

Jaeyoung hadn’t finished speaking yet when the studio owner played the original song again and immediately adjusted it in the program. Then he increased the tempo and lowered the tone to make it a completely different song, with a deep and haunting melody. Jaeyoung hugged his chest and laughed.

“You’re really good at this.”

“That’s great. It’s easy to understand. If so, the BGM should have this mood.

I’ll try to make a loop of eight or sixteen bars.”

While they were talking, the door suddenly opened and a tall, thin woman came in holding a tray with three cups of coffee. She then placed them in front of them, and the coffee still had steam rising from it. The studio owner leaned back in his chair with an incredulous look on his face.

Normally, we don’t have this kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t ask the staff to do this.”

“If there are guests, we can welcome them. Hello, are you a singer from the

Rif project?”

The woman looked at the studio owner and smiled, then greeted Sangwoo and Jaeyoung. Sangwoo shook his head slightly, while Jaeyoung said, “Hello.”

“The action game development team I mentioned yesterday, they’re friends of Seungyong. This is Yoonhee, our songwriter.”

“Oh, that mobile game!”

The songwriter stood there stubbornly holding the tray, and the oppressive silence continued for a moment before the studio owner finally spoke up and asked her to sit down instead of standing like that. At that moment, Jaeyoung’s phone rang.

“I’m sorry. Excuse me for a moment…”

The other person on the phone answered a few words and then hung up.

Then he frowned.

“Some uncle I don’t know called to complain and asked me to take the car out.”

“He’s being difficult and not getting to the point. He usually doesn’t say anything, but he’s in a bad mood today. It might be a bit far, but turn right at the fourth intersection and there’s a paid parking lot. Let’s go park there.”

“Talk to the boss first… Sangwoo-ya.”

Jaeyoung got up and lightly patted Sangwoo’s shoulder before walking out. In the room, only Sangwoo, the owner of the studio, and the 3 songwriters remained. One of the songwriters immediately took Jaeyoung’s place and asked the studio owner,

“Who was that?”

“I already told you, he’s a friend of Seungyong’s.”

“What does he do, is he a model?”

“He’s a graphic design student, I heard.”

“A student, huh.”

The studio owner pulled his chair over to the computer and brought up the plan for “Veggie-Venturer” on the screen.

“Doesn’t look like the work of a student, does it?”

“Did he make this himself?”

Wow, it looks like a low-budget indie game.”

“That student is just all talk, his skills are at a pro level.”

Sangwoo pretended not to care, but in reality, he was listening to the entire conversation. Jaeyoung’s words filled him with pride because the designer he chose was not just anyone, but himself. And because he was a business partner who made the other party’s imagination come true.

The studio owner sipped his coffee and looked at the plan carefully before asking.

“Sangwoo, how many people are on your team?”

“Two people.”

They exchanged glances, making Sangwoo feel like showing off, wanting to announce that he was the planner and developer of “Veggie-Venturer” and worked with designer Jang Jaeyoung, who made this plan a reality.

“Students these days are really talented. When I was a student, all I did was drink.”

The studio owner laughed and returned to the reception desk. Suddenly, the songwriter who was staring at the monitor turned her attention to Sangwoo.

“Um… does that guy have a girlfriend?”

The studio owner chuckled and said, “Why are you asking me?”

The female songwriter’s eyes widened and she looked at Sangwoo. Although he didn’t want to answer anything, the woman still waited for an answer.

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Really? I thought he must have one already! Oh, why did I dress so casually today? What should I do?”

“Whatever you do, invite him to have a meal with us.”

“But he’s younger than you! If he’s the same generation as Seungyong, how old is he? Twenty-six… or twenty-seven? Crazy… If I stand next to him, will I look old?”

“Why speak like that? It’s pointless.”

The studio owner laughed and seemed to be having fun. The red-faced songwriter held her cheeks and talked non-stop. They didn’t do anything wrong, but it made Sangwoo very upset. He thought about muting both of their voices.

 

 

“You’ve been sitting on the bridge all this time, why don’t you try inviting him to talk after the meeting? Say that you fell in love at first sight, who wouldn’t like that?”

“How can we do that? He might be uncomfortable.”

“Wait a minute. I didn’t know there was a corner like this. Normally, you’re very confident in yourself.”

The studio owner laughed and turned to Sangwoo.

And what do you want me to do? Just as Sangwoo was about to respond sharply, a loud ringing sound came from the entrance door of the studio. A young, energetic songwriter stood up and quickly spoke to the owner of the studio.

“I’m too excited to stay still. I’ll excuse myself first.”

The girl then left the room, and not long after, Jaeyoung came back and sat down next to Sangwoo.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, I just had a question about the game.”

“Chu Sangwoo, explain it clearly.”

“Oh, of course. We can solve the problem because of you, Sangwoo.”

‘Liar.’

While Sangwoo was staring at the studio owner, the meeting continued for about fifteen minutes. They talked about the song, delivery schedules, and fees, and even copyright issues, but Sangwoo didn’t feel excited at all.

The thick clouds that were difficult to understand covered Sangwoo’s sky, so he couldn’t meditate. He tried to remember the face of the songwriter, but it wasn’t easy. Was she pretty? If she invited Jaeyoung to have a meal, how would he react? She might be able to become Jaeyoung’s ‘new girlfriend’ because the man is currently single. ‘I feel bad.’

His heart was beating fast, but at the same time, he felt dissatisfied. Jaeyoung used his elbow to nudge him and asked for his opinion on something, but Sangwoo didn’t listen, so he didn’t know what to say.

“It’s strange, why are you so quiet?”

“Normally, Sangwoo isn’t a quiet person, right?”

“Don’t speak. Normally, he’s very fidgety, but it seems like he’s satisfied with all of your conditions, President. “

Jaeyoung patted Sangwoo’s shoulder and lightly tapped his back, causing Sangwoo to feel uncomfortable and grab his arm.

Both of them let go of Sangwoo like that and agreed to discuss the price before exchanging contracts. Jaeyoung signed his name with a signature like a worm and handed the paper and pen to Sangwoo. Sangwoo wrote his name in block letters under Jaeyoung’s name without reading any of the content.

“Don’t come complain later that I handled it alone.”

Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo slightly while speaking. It was surprising that at that time, Sangwoo didn’t care about the contract documents at all, his mind was only focused on the fact that the meeting had ended, and the studio owner kept one copy of the contract in an envelope and handed it to Jaeyoung.

“Veggie-Venturer, it should be a fun job.”

“As long as the quality comes out like our examples, we’re satisfied, but if we hear that it’s going to be even better, we don’t want anything else. “

“We’ll have to wait and see. Is the game still in development?”

“The big framework is done, but there are still some development issues.

Anyway, please take care of it, President.”

“Yes. If there are any changes, please call me. Goodbye.”

Jaeyoung stood up from his seat. While Sangwoo was still looking anxiously at the mirror on the door, he couldn’t see clearly outside.

“What are you doing? Get up.”

Sangwoo got up firmly and walked out through the door that Jaeyoung had left open. The area with the table and sofa had no trace of the songwriter, and they had to hurry out of here before she came out. Sangwoo walked ahead quickly.

“Not that way.”

Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s shoulder, who was about to twist the doorknob in the wrong direction, and turned him towards the opposite direction. As he was about to open the studio door and leave, the studio owner stopped them.

“Wait, Jaeyoung.”

“Yes?”

‘This is actually a somewhat personal matter…’

The other party smiled shyly and then pointed their finger towards the back and continued.

“My employee just told me that he likes you, Jaeyoung. It seems like you don’t have a girlfriend yet. If that’s the case, why don’t you come have dinner with us? You’re someone who’s easy to get along with.”

“What? That’s not really my business.”

Sangwoo glared at the owner of the studio with a fierce expression. The other party didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, but he suddenly became angry. Jaeyoung clearly stated that he would have dinner with Sangwoo, but it was just an empty promise. He wondered how much the other party who liked to do things on his own terms could be bound.

“Please apologize to her, but I’m already chatting with someone right now.”

However, Jaeyoung unexpectedly responded to Sangwoo’s question with a nonchalant attitude. Then he turned his gaze back to Sangwoo.

____________________________________.

[1] Variation. The part that deviates from the main melody.

 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 73: <1001> #1.

[9.                I want to have sex with someone who is in a relationship.]

‘Not to that extent, it’s still illegal.’

[10.           Can’t stand not having sex even for a day.]

‘You can endure for a day.’

[11.           Can’t overcome sexual desire to the point of buying sexual services.]

‘There is no way. Besides, it’s illegal.’

[12.           Strongly desire to have kinky sex.]

‘…’

The standard for the word “kinky” is not clear, so it is difficult to answer “yes” or “no”. Sangwoo had to skip that part and read the rest.

If there are behaviors that match the twenty questions, it is considered a sex addiction, but there are only five questions that match him completely, and that is “thinking about sex often to the point of feeling cramped in daily life.”

‘So you’re not addicted to sex.’

He thinks about it almost all the time to the point he is wondering if he has a mental condition, but no matter how he tries to test himself, if the results are as clear as this, it probably isn’t true, at least he can breathe a sigh of relief.

Sangwoo thinks.

Sangwoo puts his phone in his backpack and sits quietly, yesterday’s events slowly bubbling up in his mind. He worked in the office with the other party and then Jaeyoung had to go back home before it got too late because a car broke down. After helping him with his luggage, they almost parted ways, but ended up arguing in front of the building. Then they suddenly kissed and they got horny and had to go back upstairs to quench the arousal. They kept doing that arousal quenching non stop all night until almost morning, so Sangwoo slept late and today he almost missed his class, “Embedded System,” his major.

‘You have to make your desires clear. Sangwoo, this sentence has no object.’

Jaeyoung tends to be slightly different at different times, not always consistent. Some days he speaks less, some days he acts softer, and some days he acts rougher. He doesn’t choose which one is better, but what’s not good is when the other party is intentionally teasing. Yesterday, Jaeyoung played until he made Sangwoo gasp and accidentally put his hand on the glasses that were placed near the bed. When it was almost dark, he saw that the frame was broken in half, and no matter how he asked about the price, the other party didn’t answer.

Sangwoo sits with his chin in his hand, lost in thought about the face that is both tempting and provocative at the same time, when the door suddenly opens.

“Oops, sorry! Sunbae.” the male student suddenly appears and gasps for breath. Sangwoo just realized that he was sitting in the conference room for a meeting. When he looked at the clock, he found that he was seven minutes late.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice.

“Uh, sorry! I was riding my bike and fell on the way here. I know it may sound like an excuse. I should have come out faster…”

It seems that the other party is not lying, the elbow that protrudes from the shirt sleeve is scratched until it bleeds.

“If it hurts a lot, go to the hospital first.”

“Really? It’s not necessary… I’m fine,” the male student said.

The male student sat opposite Sangwoo and wiped his sweat with the back of his hand. Sangwoo looks at the notebook that was left open and picks up a pen.

“Then let’s get started. I propose the topic of presenting the algorithm of the game ‘Makom.’ If you don’t like it, you can suggest another topic.” “Uh…wait a minute,” the other party said.

The other party rummages through his bag and takes out a crumpled piece of paper and a pen. He writes the word “Makom” in the middle in large letters.

“We don’t have much time now. Is this topic not too complicated? I’m just thinking about cabinets, ATMs, myself…”

“That matter is too simple, we won’t get good scores. And it’s just a decoy.”

“…Okay. Just speak your mind.”

Sangwoo presented a mini-project on “Algorithm” as a pair of works for the class. Although there was another member, Sangwoo did not expect much and thought of doing it alone.

“Do you know that if we actually create a program, we can get extra points?”

“Don’t tell me you’ll do it?”

“Of course, isn’t it?”

I think it might be difficult… So let’s start with making a tic-tac-toe board first. Um… do you have a plan?”

“We can create the initial values of the tic-tac-toe board by arranging them in order and dividing the values according to the size of the cells. And every time we change the round, we have to check two diagonal lines, vertical and horizontal lines, 3×3 management, complexity, but…”

Sangwoo looked at the face of the male student and spoke.

“I’ll handle it myself.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Just wait for me to send the program, you focus on the schedule for dynamic schedule [1]. Then organize the process, we should talk about memoization [2] and recursive functions [3], and we need a table. I’ll send the program to you by midnight on Sunday, so please give me your email address.”

The male student quickly wrote down what Sangwoo said and handed him the email address with both hands.

“I may not be good at programming like you, but I will take responsibility for analyzing and presenting everything myself.”

Can he be trusted? Sangwoo looked at the other party with suspicion before turning back, because if they didn’t do well, he could just do it alone.

He wrote down his responsibilities and those of the other party in his notebook. Now there was only one task left to deal with, which was data presentation.

“I’ll handle the PowerPoint myself.”

Sangwoo spoke confidently. Although he didn’t have artistic talent, he could still make a decent PowerPoint. After writing his name in the presentation section, there was nothing left to discuss at the meeting. He put the notebook back in his bag along with the pencil case and then the box before standing up.

Just as he was about to leave, the male student called out to him.

Um… Sangwoo-sunbae.”

“What is it?”

The other person sitting across from him looked stressed the whole time, but gave a small smile and spoke softly.

“Thank you for letting me pass today.”

“What do you mean?”

“I used to be in the same group as you for the ‘Data Structures’ course. I was three minutes late to the meeting, so you had already left. Then I had to work on your own and I ended up failing the course because I got a D mark… Oh,

I’m not blaming you for anything now.”

‘This guy. He didn’t make a mistake for the first time.’

Sangwoo had a scary face, truly terrifying, with many people in the world having the same idea as Jang Jaeyoung about time.

“This time, I thought that you had already left… I was really surprised when I saw you were still waiting.”

“…”

“Because it’s been several years now. I think the atmosphere around you is different from back then.”

The guy spoke in a way that Sangwoo found difficult to understand before bowing at him.

“I’ll learn more and work harder.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

Sangwoo didn’t know what to say and just answered with an “uh-huh” before leaving the conference room.

When he left the library building, the hot May sun shone down on his black hat. Sangwoo reflected on the words of the younger student and headed towards the room where he took the Data Structures course, which seemed like it was

 

 

three years ago. At that time, he was so determined that he didn’t even associate with people who were a little late to the meeting.

‘I think the atmosphere around you is different from back then.’

Would you say he had become weaker? If that were the case, he would never have a chance to associate with Jaeyoung forever.

Sangwoo realized he had arrived at the Faculty of Fine Arts, which he was now familiar with. He climbed the stairs to the third floor, opened the fourth door, and walked in.

“Are you here, President Chu?”

Jaeyoung spoke without taking his eyes off his phone. The other person was sitting with his legs stretched out on the table, playing a game. Today, Jaeyoung was wearing a blue shirt and black slacks. Although he wasn’t wearing a suit, in Sangwoo’s eyes, the other person looked like he was going to an important event. As he walked in, he heard sound effects. The other person stretched his arms around Sangwoo’s waist and hugged him.

“How are you doing?”

“It’s more fun than I thought it would be. Hey, are we really the ones doing this?”

Jaeyoung was playing a test version of the game with a character named Chuchu, a furry creature wearing a knitted sweater. He threw bombs to defeat the bosses and shot at slow-moving enemies with a rifle. Then he ran forward continuously. Sangwoo looked at him quietly before speaking up.

“I think we need to adjust the damage of the hand bomb a bit.”

“That’s so unfair.”

“Did you add the sound effects correctly?”

“Well done. And there’s a bug in two spots when placing it with the detonator. If you switch weapons without moving, the game will be forced to close.

Another thing is to check Chuchu’s status window, it’s not sliding to the side.”  “I already knew the first one. As for the other one, let me check it out.”

Sangwoo intended to go back to his place, but Jaeyoung’s hand, which had been creeping and groping his butt was now wrapped around his waist. He grabbed Jaeyoung’s shoulders and prevented himself from falling, and he stretched himself up a bit. Then both of Jaeyoung;s eyes stared at Sangwoo, and he moved closer, almost touching his lips. Jaeyoung lowered his eyes to look at Sangwoo’s lips before raising his gaze to meet his eyes again.

“Hey.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you miss me?”

The other whispered softly.

“We’ve been together all day until morning, haven’t we?”

“So what?”

Sangwoo wanted to tell the other that he had a problem with being loved and possessed, even though it had only been less than fourteen hours since he had just drained his balls excessively, but when he got out of that train of thought he realized it, he found himself kissing the other person again. It was a sweet gesture that could not be refused, and it was happening more often than eating these days.

Jaeyoung slipped his hand under Sangwoo’s tight shirt before pulling down the waistband of his pants and letting go. The other person withdrew his lips and looked down low.

Did you wear a new pair of underwear? Can I see it?”

“Underwear is not something you show to others.”

“But I bought it because I wanted to see it for you.”

Sangwoo ignored the meaningless words and turned around to sit at his own place.

“Hyung, you took four pairs of my underwear. So I had no choice but to wear a new one. Can you please return my underwear to me?”

“Why not wear a different one?”

“I already have enough clothes, so I don’t feel the need to buy new ones.”

“I suspect I’ll have to throw them all away when I clean out your room next time.”

The other side spoke without substance again… Sangwoo took out his notebook and waited for the boot-up. Jaeyoung spoke up.

“Starting tomorrow, you won’t have to work part-time anymore, so it’s perfect for a 3-day, 2-night weekend trip on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.”

He wondered if the other side was really working on the same project, the nonchalant expression on his face made Sangwoo slightly uneasy.

“How can we plan a trip like that? Look, we’re always running late and the work isn’t progressing.”

Sangwoo shifted his chair closer to the table and pointed to the schedule that was pinned to the wall.

There were only two months left in the agreement with Jaeyoung, and the last month was expected to be filled with testing and platform verification. So, in reality, he had to create all the functions and find bugs within a month, which, if you subtract the time for QA and beta testing, would leave only about a week. Although he was now quitting his part-time job, which would give him more time for studying and sleeping, Sangwoo still felt restless.

“Moreover, I still have classes for my major. I have an exam in three weeks.

“

Plus, I have to finish programming for the presentation within this week.”

“I understand. Then let’s postpone the trip for now, but you have to go for a getaway trip with me today.”

“Did you listen to what I said earlier? I said I don’t have time.”

“That’s exactly what I’m about to say.”

It seemed like Jaeyoung wasn’t taking what Sangwoo said seriously again. Sangwoo thought that if he was going to criticize the other side, he should at least know where he was going before asking in a hesitant voice. “Where are we going?”

____________________________________.

[1] Schedule Development, “Dynamic Programming.” A process of finding the optimal solution by solving complex problems by dividing them into smaller, more manageable subproblems.

[2]. Memoization, a technique used to speed up computer programs by storing the results of function calls.

[3] and the concept of recursion, “Recursive Function.” and a function that calls itself to solve a problem by dividing it into smaller problems, then combining the results together. Simply put, it is writing a function that calls itself repeatedly until it finds the answer.

 

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 72: Yellow #14.

   Sangwoo took a deep breath and turned his body to the side. His profile, which was glowing and blurred in the darkness, looked no less handsome than his front. At the same time, there was a beautiful figure, a body that was not too fat and had muscles only necessary for life, which was similar to the personality of the person who valued efficiency.

   Sangwoo put on a new condom and squeezed the gel onto his finger. Then he moved his hand down towards his buttocks. Jaeyoung’s mouth hung open, staring at the other’s finger disappearing into Sangwoo’s own body, his breathing stopped, his gaze fixed, from the dark black hair, the dark eyebrows, the closed eyes, down to the edge of the lips that were revealed.

   The other party bowed so low that their neck bones looked like they were about to pop out, their neck bent down, and the part that curved down to the back was so seductive that Jaeyoung had to swallow thick saliva and clench and release his fists repeatedly. When sticky lubed finger entering Sangwoo made slurpy sounds as it entered along the narrow hole, it caused a faint sound to echo throughout the quiet room, amidst the intensity of the black and white colors, both parties breathed heavily at the same time. All without touching each other again.

   “Ah-ah…”

   And then Sangwoo let out a groan that sounded like a gasp, his right hand moving faster, the sound of fingering was like walking on clay, piercing Jaeyoung’s ear, making it hot in an instant, Sangwoo’s neck jerked and his black hair trembled, his twisted face leaned back.

   “Ah, huh…”

   Chu Sangwoo was using his fingers to stretch his own hole with enthusiasm and Jaeyoung was a spectator to the scene, a scene that was more provocative than any pornographic image he had ever seen.

   “What are you looking at? You mentally ill person…”

   Sangwoo raised his eyebrows and sighed before biting his lower lip, the person who was straightforward during the day. When it fell at night, his desire did not subside. Although it was always the same action, for some reason, both of them looked like different people. Was it a delusion? Crazy bastard, damnit, where is this world a baby would act like this?

   Jaeyoung couldn’t take it anymore and jumped up with the intention of shouting at the other party. “I told you to stay calm.”

   Sangwoo had an angry expression and pushed Jaeyoung back with his foot. In Jaeyoung’s heart, he felt startled to the point of forgetting even the most exciting excitement before slowly lying back down as before.

   “I’ll do it myself.”

   Sangwoo looked straight into Jaeyoung’s eyes and then lifted himself up, his sweaty chest, bright chest, muscular abdomen, neck, arms, and legs. Whatever it was, it was all a strong stimulus for Jaeyoung. Sangwoo took a deep breath before moving his hand to the back, he held Jaeyoung’s extremely hard cock, pointed it at his wet asshole and just like magic the cock was sucked and swallowed into the waiting body just now. Jaeyoung closed his eyes.

   “Ah, it’s… ugh…”

   The sudden intense arousal made him automatically let out a moan, feeling like he was really being swallowed up, the weight of Sangwoo, the hand that was gripping the shirt, the hot skin, all of it made his head spin, after moving his hips up and down two or three times. Sangwoo sat down and pressed down even harder, the feeling of the cock being tightly wrapped and sucked made Jaeyung feel extremely pleasurable to the point of trembling in his stomach.

   “Sangwoo… wait… I’m in trouble.”

   Sangwoo ignored Jaeyoung’s words and shifted his body to take the straight cock even deeper, Jaeyoung was gritting his teeth to endure not cum yet. Meanwhile, the other party threw himself down and swallowed his meat stick until the end. Jaeyoung tightly wrapped the bedsheet and when he looked up, he met the embarrassed face of the person above him. Jaeyoung looked up at

   Sangwoo, who used both hands to support himself on his chest and breathed heavily.

   “Why do you make that face? Is something wrong?”

   “It’s too deep. And…”

   Although he should have been used to it by now, it seemed that this position made it harder for the other party to get used to the massive cock inside him. Jaeyoung flicked his finger and Sangwoo leaned down. When he looked closely, he found that the face really looked pitiful. Jaeyoung hugged the man’s arm tightly, unable to play around like a child, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sangwoo whispered in his ear.

   “Hyung…are you feeling good? I feel your stick getting bigger.”

   Jaeyoung was caught off guard and he felt cum spewed from his cock without him realizing it, causing his vision to go dark.

   “Fuck… Jesus.”

   “What’s wrong?”

   Although Jeayoung cummed just now, somehow the hard cock was still in the same state as before. Sangwoo couldn’t understand, but suddenly the white liquid leaked out through the gap in the condom, like a hot meat stick exploding, making his butt hair wet. Jaeyoung whispered in embarrassment.

   “I couldn’t adjust in time. I guess I have to change to a new one.”

   “I can’t pull it off now. Can’t you just do it like this?”

   As soon as he nodded, the other party leaned on Jaeyoung’s chest and began to move his hips up and down. Just as the pleasure reached its peak, the waves of excitement surged again.

   Sangwoo’s eyes opened slightly and he looked ecstatic watery, the hot cock moving in and out of him slowly and repeatedly, made him let out a soft moan and the tightening of the abdomen and bones of the person above him, caused the hot meat stick to tremble along with it.

   It was a sweet sex, unbelievable but not yet satisfying. Jaeyoung just lay there, but his breathing became heavier every time they touched. Every time the connection was made, the pleasure increased, and he used his two empty hands to hold the slippery waist with drops of sweat. Then he slid his fingers along the white legs that were shaking and held Sangwoo’s in a condom protection tightly.

   The black-eyes covered in darkness looked down at Jaeyoung like a pure heavenly agony. A drop of sweat dripped from Sangwoo’s forehead and hung on the tip of his chin before falling onto Jaeyoung’s shirt as the other pressed down on his shoulder. Drop after drop, it fell like rain every time their bodies moved. Jaeyoung’s mouth automatically opened, releasing a loud moan and heavy breaths. Sangwoo bit the edge of his lips and groaned.

   “Hyung…”

   “…Uh.”

   “Don’t look at me… like that.”

   Suddenly, the hand above him slid down to his eyes before Jaeyoung’s line of sight was blocked from the self undulating man, even if it was just for a moment. Jaeyoung immediately grabbed that hand and pulled it towards him, causing Sangwoo’s upper body to fall onto Jaeyoung’s chest. Jaeyoung grabbed the other’s neck and passionately kissed him.

   “Uh… Hng…”

   Sangwoo’s body, which had moved on its own, trembled and paused for a moment. The intense feeling filled his body, making him feel completely satisfied. Jaeyoung hugged the other tightly, wrapping his arms around his back.

   “Do you need help?”

   Sangwoo blinked without saying anything, his eyes overflowing with tears. Chu Sangwoo, who usually acted as if he didn’t care, was now weak and vulnerable, which was one of the many factors that made him charming.

   Jaeyoung knelt down and held the back of Sangwoo’s butt tightly.

   When Jaeyoung performed a small twist of his hips, Sangwoo’s body twisted and pressed against Jaeyoung’s neck. He didn’t know if he had made the other lose consciousness more than before today, or if this was a reward for the long journey he had taken. If so, he could drive for hours on end. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s back with one arm and lifted his hip.

   “Ah, hng… wait a minute.”

   “Does it hurt?”

   Sangwoo wrapped his arm around Jaeyoung’s neck and leaned his head to the side.

   “Continue, need to talk anymore.”

   Seeing that the other was not very conscious of his surroundings, Jaeyoung felt the urge to dominate him, almost like sadism. Every time he grabbed his hip and pushed inside, the other flinched, he felt the desire to dominate him even more, to use his own body to do so.

   He inserted himself into the tight space that connected them completely and pushed himself inside. As he writhed in the same spot three times, Sangwoo dropped all his weight onto Jaeyoung and hugged him tightly. The tips of his hair, shiny with moisture, smelled like the usual basketball court scent. He never thought there would be a day when he would think of a man’s sexy sweat smell and his mind would be slipping away because of it.

   The strong desire to possess the person in front of him was packed tightly in his heart. Jaeyoung used both hands to grab the waist of the other party with the desire to use his body to fill, pour, and indulge all over Sangwoo’s body. Then he moved his body seriously, here, it was an opportunity to bounce his hips hard according to his heart’s desire and enter Sangwoo’s hot passage, the man who at this moment was not knowing what to do except hugging his neck tightly. As he lifted his hips violently, Sangwoo’s buttocks floated before falling back down.

   “Ah, ah! Hyung…”

   He moved one hand to the back of the other party’s head without saying anything. Then he moved his damp hair and sweat, and moved his lower body, his actions becoming more and more violent, causing the sound of flesh hitting flesh to sound like a thud, along with Sangwoo’s body shaking in the air. Every time the other party pressed his hips down, he bounced his hips to receive it. The other party would release fluids from his eyes and the corners of his mouth, moaning.

   “Huh, huh, haa… Ouch, slow dow-… Ahh…”

   The movement of the waist became more and more violent, with a sound mixed with both sorrow and happiness, a sound that was getting faster and more intense every time, and became so intense that Sangwoo’s lower body was floating in the air, bouncing every time the other party pressed down. The other party would release fluids from his eyes and the corners of his mouth, moaning.

   “Haeuk, haeuk, haa… Ouch, heuk… Ahh!”

   Sangwoo didn’t show much emotion, but it was only his body that couldn’t hide it. Once he knew that the other party showed emotions because of him,

   Jaeyoung became more aroused and his actions became more violent, causing Sangwoo to wake up more and more, and they both rushed to their destination like that.

   ‘Why did I just meet you now?’

   Jaeyoung felt that the blood sucked from his heart was mixed with feelings that were hotter than the fluids in his body, feelings that made him blind and made his consciousness a paralysis, not just something that could be explained by sexual desire alone. He left the unsafe feelings aside and drowned in the sea of emotions.

   Sangwoo responded strongly to every movement of Jaeyoung today because he was special in responding to emotions. The other party hugged him from behind and bit his shoulder, clearly seeing how much the other party was mewling, so he didn’t need to ask for any response.

   Jaeyoung listened to the sound of the man’s unmodified and unbridled moans, not expecting them to come out with such pleasure. He tightened his arms around the hot body and kissed the hairline and forehead while his body attacked relentlessly at one point. Jaeyoung learned quickly and it was common for him to know exactly where to touch to make Sangwoo feel helpless.

   “Uh, Sangwoo-ya…?”

   “Uh… huh, heh, ugh, huhu, huh…”

   Jaeyoung had only seen Sangwoo cry once, and he didn’t want to feel that way again. But crying on the bed was not bad at all, he hugged Sangwoo tightly, who was still trembling in his arms, while his lower body continued to pound without pause.

   The feelings of both were running towards the ultimate point together, a feeling of relief that could satisfy the other, and a desire to engrave the highest feeling of happiness in that body, which became a complex feeling that Jaeyoung wanted to express in many ways.

   “Ah, ah! Ugh… hyung, hyung, Jaeyoung…”

   When the walls inside Sangwoo tightened him tightly, Jaeyoung realized that Sangwoo had reached his end for this round. When the movement stopped, the other’s body became weak and fell completely. Sangwoo hugged Jaeyoung’s chest and pulled him close, even though his eyes were still closed.

   This time, his shirt was torn from the strong pull.

   “Huh… huh… Sangwoo-ya…”

   Sangwoo just breathed heavily and quickly without saying anything.

   “Open your eyes a little.”

   The eyelids that closed without resistance blinked slowly and opened to reveal only half of the black eyes. When their eyes met, their lips moved towards each other immediately, exchanging a long kiss that sounded wet and sloppy with saliva, after which Sangwoo closed his eyes and fell beside him.

   “I thought I was going to die. There is a chance of dying during sex, you know.”

   The eyes that were hidden with happiness flickered slowly, but there was something that the other side overlooked. Jaeyoung kissed the damp forehead before using his hand to wipe the sweat off the cheeks and chin.

   “You’re not dead yet. I’m not done yet.”

   “I don’t have any strength left. That’s enough for today.”

   “Enough? It’s just getting started.”

   Jaeyoung withdrew his cock from the tight asshole, pulled off the condom filled with cum water and lubricating gel. Then he put on a new one, took off his wet pants and socks, and threw away the shirt that was soaked with sweat. He thanked Sangwoo for unbuttoning the bottom and then easily taking off the trousers. He hugged Sangwoo who was lying exhausted from their lovemaking.

   “If you arouse me, you have to take responsibility.”

   “…I understand. Put it in.”

   Jaeyoung, who had maintained his state of arousal since before, had no strength to to be considerate anymore. He turned the other side and stabbed his cock in one fell swoop. Sangwoo lost his composure and let out a scream.

   The second round of the war began with bodies overlapping like dogs in heat. Jaeyoung moved his waist closer to Sangwoo’s hairline and pulled him in, burying his face into the other person’s head that was leaning back, and whispered softly beside his ear.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “Uh…what is it?”

   “What are you thinking now?”

   “Uh…mmmhpf…happiness…. climax, Jang…Jaeyoung, losing…humanity…”

   “Still…me having humanity? I have lost it already.” He felt that tonight would be a long night.

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