SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 6: Propose 5.0, #1. 

   Two months left before leaving the country. Sangwoo was busy with various things, such as preparing to move, planning trips, selling his car, and others. But for him, there was something more important than everything that needed to be done.

   [Have you quit your job yet? _18:55.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: 7 more minutes until I’m off work _18:57.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Do you want me to buy something or do you want to eat outside? _18:57.] 

   [You don’t have to buy anything. _18:58.] 

   Sangwoo put his phone on the phone holder in the car and took a deep, silent breath. He had rehearsed this moment many times and imagined it hundreds of times, but he still couldn’t help feeling excited.

   ‘This is the most important day of our lives. We can’t afford to fail.’ 

   He immersed himself in his thoughts and carefully checked each step in the process, every step filled with romantic events and meticulously planned to elevate the emotions one step at a time. When it reached the end, Jaeyoung would not refuse the offer. There was no way for him to refuse, only imagining the other person’s face nodding with tears welling up. Sangwoo cock hardened.

   ‘I won’t ruin this day because of lust.’ 

   Sangwoo quickly turned on the radio and tuned it to a Buddhist channel. As he listened to the slow chanting of the Buddhist scriptures and calmed his mind, a familiar hatchback car drove past the car Sangwoo was sitting in. After the car parked, the engine turned off.

   Then, the man whom Sangwoo was waiting for got out of the car. He had long hair tied into a single bun and wore three earrings. Although he looked unusual, he was an employee of a company and perhaps it was because the workplace was for designers, so they had the freedom to dress as they pleased. When Sangwoo tried to visit the company, as Jaeyoung had told him, he claimed to be a fairly neat and organized person and Sangwoo saw that out of almost all the designers there, Jaeyoung was the most neat and orderly.

   Jaeyoung closed the car door and took off his glasses, putting them in his coat pocket. Underneath his red jumper that extended down to his waist, he wore long black pants. On the other hand, he swiftly moved his legs and took out his mobile phone from his pants pocket, making a call somewhere.

   Suddenly, there was a ringing sound coming from Sangwoo’s pants pocket.

   Jaeyoung had a habit of calling while on his way back home.

   “Hello.”

   [I told the chairman today that I want to resign in December.] 

   “What did he say?”

   [What do you think? He scolded me.] 

   “Did he say anything that would need me to inform the Ministry of Labor then?”

   [Not to that extent. We smoked and talked for about an hour, and he said he might let me handle the collaboration and keyring for next year.] 

   “It’s a shame that you have to go without doing it.”

   [That’s true, it sounds fun.] 

   “I understand that it’s disappointing when a capable employee is about to resign, but if he wants to scold you, next time, tell him to call me.”

   As soon as he realized, Jaeyoung came closer until he could see a smiling face through the car window.

   [We ended the conversation with a goodbye. What should we eat today? Hyujin and I were talking and he mentioned that there’s a Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood that has been open for forty years. It’s delicious! Have you tried it?] 

   As Jaeyoung was about to cross the road, Sangwoo honked his car horn.

   “Jang Jaeyoung, over here.”

   After waving and walking away, Jaeyoung turned around for a moment and saw a smile appear on his face. But as he saw Sangwoo’s appearance and the black sedan he was sitting in, the other party was speechless. He had forgotten that his mobile phone, which used to be attached to his ear, was now swinging on his thigh unnoticed.

   “Where are you going? What’s that Benz over there?”

   “Get in… there’s a place we need to go together.”

   Sangwoo thought he had said it in a cool way, but a mischievous smile appeared on the corner of Jaeyoung’s lips.

   “Oh, today? You should have told me earlier.”

   “…Do you know something?”

   “Wait in the car, I’ll quickly take a shower and change clothes before coming down.”

   Sangwoo held Jaeyoung’s arm, as if guiding him home.

   “You can’t. You still can’t come in.”

   “Why?”

   “I can’t tell you. Get in the car quickly.”

   Jaeyoung pouted and looked down at his sneakers.

   “Then you go up and bring out the trench coat and combat boots.”

   After finishing speaking, the other party disappeared and sat in the seat next to the driver.

   ‘I didn’t plan for this.’ 

   Sangwoo felt restless as he walked back to the house. He tried not to step on anything and grabbed Jaeyoung’s coat and shoes before returning to the car. As the car started, he felt a little bit braver. Although he still felt anxious, he had time and hadn’t failed yet.

   Jaeyoung replaces his shoes and gazes at Sangwoo’s side face.

   “What are you looking at?”

   “…Uh.”

   “Is there a problem?”

   As he turned his head to look, Jaeyoung lunged forward, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth, while slipping his hand into his coat and caressing his waist. As he tries to brush him off and make him sit back down, the tongue of the other party took the opportunity to slip in.

   “Hyung, wait…”

   “Wait for yourself. You are so sexy right now.”

   The whispered sound of temptation makes his body instantly heat up. Sangwoo decides to make an effort to resist and opens his mouth wide, while being overwhelmed with kisses. At the same time, Jaeyoung’s hand slips into his pants, not only that, but also slides down to grab and knead his firm buttocks.

   “Oh, why are you like this, like a beast…”

   Jaeyoung pretended not to hear Sangwoo’s words and kissed him more passionately, grinding their bodies closer. Sangwoo falls into a state of daze before regaining consciousness after seeing Jaeyoung take a condom out of his wallet.

   “…Wait.”

   He can say yes to having sex every day, but today is a day where failure is certain because desire is not even present for a second. Sangwoo demonstrates immense self-control by pulling Jaeyoung’s hand off and using his knee to push back the other party’s chest. Jaeyoung has no intention of retreating easily, so Sangwoo holds the face of his lover and gently throws him away with a low murmur.

   “I think this isn’t going to happen. Just endure it for a bit.”

   “How long is ‘a bit’?”

   “Two hours and fifty-two minutes.”

   “How am I supposed to endure for three hours?”

   “Just endure it. We’re in the same situation, after all.”

   Jaeyoung returned to sit down, sulking with a gloomy face. Sangwoo took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders, tucked his shirt back into his pants, and adjusted his belt.

   ‘Well then? No problem, let’s start fresh with new determination.’ 

   Sangwoo sighed and patted himself on the back. Despite the turmoil in his mysterious heart, he tried not to care and shifted gears before stepping on the accelerator. As he glanced back to check the road, he caught sight of

   Jaeyoung, who still had eyes that resembled those of a mental patient.

   “So, where are we going?”

   “High State Hotel.”

   “Wow, looks like you’re really motivated. Are we planning to stay there for one night?”

   “We’ll have dinner and come back later.”

   “Let’s check-in before we have dinner.”

   “Say something meaningful. I’ve already made plans.”

   Sangwoo grumbled coolly without realizing it, then glanced to the side to apologize, but Jaeyoung was laughing as if it were amusing. Sangwoo bit his lip.

   ‘Today is an important day, no frowning allowed.’ 

   “Don’t say anything inappropriate, hyung. I’ve already made all the plans.”

   Even though he tried to smile and speak softly, the sound that came out sounded strangely aggressive, and Jaeyoung covered his mouth to suppress his laughter before answering.

   “Okay, I understand.”

   “Thank you very much for your cooperation.”

   He didn’t calm down, but the way he spoke sounded strange.

   Fortunately, Jaeyoung didn’t say anything or complain until they arrived at the hotel. At that moment, Sangwoo was so stressed that his hands were trembling, and he felt like he would vomit immediately if anyone touched him. As he drove into the underground parking lot, Jaeyoung, who had been silent throughout, finally spoke up.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Mmmh?”

    “Why did you park your car like that? It’s so rude.”

   “You…”

   When Sangwoo saw Jaeyoung’s face, he added, “On a day like this, do you really think I would be mad at you?”

   “How would I know it’s an important day?”

   “…How could you not know it’s an important day?”

   “I don’t know anything, I just guessed randomly.”

   “Really?”

   “Can’t you at least tell me how I would know? How am I supposed to find out?”

   Sangwoo took a deep breath and put on a poker face. This was a complete surprise, and he had carefully concealed all the preparations. Therefore, there was no way the other party would know. After parking the car without any hesitation… Sangwoo turned off the engine. Jaeyoung said he would wait and get out of the car, but Sangwoo remained seated, adjusting his breathing for a moment.

   They took the elevator to the top floor. Although it was an exciting elevator with glass on all sides, Jaeyoung didn’t bother to admire the exterior scenery and just kept staring at Sangwoo.

   The night scenery was dimly lit, and a man stood with his hand in his trench coat pocket. Sangwoo did all this because he wanted to possess that man, the one with the neatly tied bird’s nest hairstyle. The scene and imagery was more magnificent than he had imagined, making him regret not bringing a camera.

   “Did you make a reservation?”

   “Hello… Mister Chu Sangwoo.”

   Soon, they entered the five-star Italian restaurant, which offered a view of the night scenery of Seoul and the mountains. A staff member in a black suit guided Sangwoo to the reserved seat by the window, booked twenty days ago.

   Sangwoo sat down on the solid seat with his knees covered by a stained cloth. When he saw the staff bring the wine list, he relied on his pre-learned knowledge and ordered a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon produced in Italy, known to pair well with meat. After the staff left, Jaeyoung leaned back in his chair, hugging his chest.

   “I wonder what you were thinking. Even a stingy person can spend this much money.”

   The cost of getting a suit tailored, renting a car, meals, and wine, all of these expenses are necessary. Sangwoo doesn’t feel regret at all.

   “I spend as necessary during regular times, so it’s the same during occasions like this.”

   “I’m curious to see what you’re going to say and do.”

   Sangwoo secretly smiles, knowing that the one who planned the surprise must feel like this. He wants to see Jaeyoung’s surprised face quickly.

   “Do you like it here, hyung?”

   “Hmm.”

   “Really?”

   Sangwoo asked again. Jaeyoung, who always has a comfortable image, is neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. Sangwoo feels a bit regretful inside, as if he hopes that the other person will show excitement after seeing the city’s night view and enjoying the splendid atmosphere of the restaurant.

   “I…”

   Jaeyoung brought the chair closer to the table, the flickering candlelight reflected in the eyes of the other person. Then, his big hand touches Sangwoo’s backhand.

   “I just want you to be with me. That’s all I want. Now, I hope you understand.”

   The other person held Sangwoo’s hand and kissed it before letting go.

   Sangwoo felt a slight relief in his tense body and relaxed.

   “I know, but today is a special day. So, I want you to like me more than before.”

   “Today, you look extremely good. I can’t take my eyes off you.”

   “…”

   “I’m trying my best to be patient.”

   Sangwoo secretly observed his reflection on the windowpane. He could tell that Jaeyoung liked the new blue suit he had just ordered. It seemed worth it to endure being scolded by Yoona for over two hours.

   Meanwhile, soup and bread were served. Sangwoo scooped up some soup with a spoon but hesitated a bit, feeling that it was too hot. He couldn’t taste any flavor, and his hand trembled as he accidentally tapped the bowl, making a faint clicking sound.

   “Why do you have that expression? Is it not delicious?”

   Just a normal everyday sentence, yet why did the tone of voice sound so intimidating? Sangwoo looked up and locked eyes with Jaeyoung. The other side smiled faintly, dipped a piece of bread into the soup, and slowly chewed on it, intentionally running his tongue along the corners of his lips. Sangwoo fell into that trap countless times, and this time, he couldn’t look away as easily as before.

   “Are you teasing me?”

   “I’m just eating bread. Why? Is it sexy?”

   “Teasing me doesn’t do anything for us anymore, does it?”

   “We’re at a hotel… There are vacant rooms.”

   Jaeyoung smirked and lightly licked his index finger. Sangwoo felt tempted to indulge without realizing the clear intentions behind it, but he didn’t think he would fall into the trap he could clearly see.

   ‘What does he want by doing this?’ 

   Jaeyoung wasn’t an enemy and should be the one motivating him to feel good. But strangely, he felt that the other side was a villain trying to sabotage his plans. Sangwoo resisted the gaze from the person in front of him before scooping up the soup and consuming it uncouthly. He reminisced, ‘100 Good Questions to Ask Your Loved One Before Getting Married,’ but it scattered from his mind without his awareness.

   “You have to talk about something important, but you just keep bothering me.

   Are you annoyed? Yourself?”

   “You know that very well. Then don’t do it.”

   “Fine, I won’t. Just look in my eyes.”

   Sangwoo raised his head and locked eyes with Jaeyoung. As he looked at the other side with a hesitant gaze, Jaeyoung’s expression remained unchanged, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. Sangwoo could feel the vigilance melting away, like snow melting.

   ‘If I come to you angry like this, what would you do?’ 

   Did the other person do something wrong? Is their appearance too charming? Even their eating habits are teasing? Sangwoo fixes differences with the person he loves in his heart before taking a deep breath and remembering the phrase that came to mind.

    SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 5: Exception #5. 

   Sangwoo took Jaeyoung’s cock into his mouth and began to move his tongue, flicking it up from the bottom, starting from the canal where a slightly salty liquid flowed continuously to the section of flesh that had small bumps. Every time he used the tip of his tongue to touch the sensitive part, Sangwoo’s saliva would flow down to his chin, but he didn’t have the strength to swallow. Just by stimulating that piece of flesh, it seemed to expand bigger and bigger, without knowing whether it was his own feeling or how it felt in his mouth became increasingly difficult.

   Meanwhile, Jaeyoung continued to press the back of his neck against his lower area, making the end touch his throat. He wanted to tell the other person that he had boundaries, but Jaeyoung only bowed his head and tugged at his hair, making him unable to do it. Sangwoo slowly moved his head without any choice, circling his mouth and moving up and down using the tip of his tongue to stimulate the long surface as he had practiced three months ago.

   “Ah, Ah…. Sangwoo-ya.”

   The fullness in his mouth made him unable to answer. Jaeyoung raised his hair forcefully and tugged it back, his chin automatically raised and their eyes met. Sangwoo looked down again to concentrate on what he was doing, but Jaeyoung pulled his hair again, as if asking him to look at his face.

   And so, Sangwoo looked straight into Jaeyoung’s eyes, licked the twitching cock until the end touched the throat before wrapping his mouth tightly and lightly nibbling on the end and then swallowing the saliva. He then used his tongue to lick it into his mouth again.

   When Sangwoo moved down, Jaeyoung’s hand would press his head, and when he moved up, his hand would pull his hair up. At first, their movements were almost synchronized, but the longer it went on, the more hurried Jaeyoung’s touch became. Sangwoo moved faster in accordance with the command. Then he remembered that he had done the same thing before, and at one point his mouth had been injured, so he tightly wrapped his mouth even tighter.

   “Ah, Ah-ah, Ahh…”

   In fact, Sangwoo was not in a state to suck and lick anyone’s genitals, because he was too focused on listening to Jaeyoung’s moans, which made his own cock become swollen and almost explode inside his pants. He desperately wanted to touch and relieve it, but because one hand was holding his lower area, he couldn’t do it.

   At that moment, Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s head with both hands and held it in place. While Sangwoo looked up, unaware of the reason the other party was doing this, Jaeyoung pressed his index finger against the roof of his mouth and forcefully pushed it in, quickly withdrawing the hardened flesh and thrusting it back in with equal speed. Although the impact was so strong that his head trembled, Jaeyoung still held his head tightly, and his enlarged male organ moved vigorously in and out. Judging from the increasing speed, it seemed that his mouth was about to tear again. Sangwoo held onto the other party’s legs tightly and endured every move.

   Then, suddenly, Jaeyoung stopped moving and withdrew his hardened flesh. Sangwoo wondered. Even though he thought the moment of release was approaching, Sangwoo was about to touch the tip again. Jaeyoung inserted both arms under Sangwoo’s slender waist and pulled it up against his body, their eyes meeting for a fraction of a second. Then, his eyes, filled with intense feelings, closed, and the other party swallowed the edge of Sangwoo’s lips.

   Saliva flowed into their mouths, intermingling with their linked tongues. Jaeyoung’s arms tightly embraced Sangwoo, who was about to escape, and his hands hurriedly pressed the back of his head and waist. Sangwoo could clearly read the other party’s intense feelings better than a hundred words from his actions.

   Jaeyoung immediately withdrew his lips and turned to the side, while the other party stretched his hand far to open the car console. When he reached out a box of glasses and an album and threw them aside, it revealed a condom and a lubricant hidden underneath.

   “… We agreed not to do it in a car for a long time, haven’t we? Don’t tell me you didn’t keep it.”

   “Because I knew that a day like this would come.”

   Jaeyoung kissed Sangwoo’s neck until there was a loud smacking sound, and whispered softly in his ear.

   “Why? Can’t you stop yourself? Wanna go back inside like that and sleep in whose room, following the rules?”

   “In that case, you should have said it before it got hard like this.”

   “Exception Handling, right.”

   “Yes.”

   After getting ready, Jaeyoung took off his pants and underwear. Sangwoo could feel the slender finger that had penetrated his love hole tightly while hugging the other party.

   “Are you not angry anymore?”

   “I’m not really angry.”

   “Liar.”

   Jaeyoung stretched Sangwoo’s love hole without saying anything and laid Sangwoo flat on the seat, adjusted the seat support to lean back, and hugged the back of his neck with a gentle kiss. At the same time, Sangwoo lifted his left leg, Jaeyoung pressed his own arm, increased the number of fingers, and the more slurred the sound became, the hotter Sangwoo’s body felt. Although it seemed like he was forcefully penetrated, Jaeyoung only explored inside gently.

   ‘Why are you like this?’ 

   It was clear that he wanted to hurry, but no matter how long he waited, there were only slow movements. Moreover, he deliberately pressed in strange places. Sangwoo forgot to close his eyes tightly and met Jaeyoung’s eyes, his slightly lowered eyes shining with confusion.

   “Sangwoo, does spacing bother you that much?”

   “…Just a little.”

   “Yes, so why not stop?”

   “Hmm, um… stop…”

   “What is it?”

   “Don’t tempt me. Stop slowly…”

   “Use proper grammar and speak clearly.”

   “I know that already. Why are you doing it like this, really?”

   “Grammar…. Sangwoo… subject object verb.”[1.] 

   “Oh, damn…”

   If he had started teasing once, he wouldn’t stop. At times like this, it’s best to do what he wants. Sangwoo closed his eyes and sighed.

   “Please put your big dick inside me…”

   Come – into – my hole – please. When he said the vulgar phrase that the other person taught him last month. Jaeyoung burst into laughter immediately.

   “What is that? Are you a robot or something?”

   “…”

   Doing and not doing are both meaningless. When Sangwoo raised his eyebrows and looked angrily, Jaeyoung withdrew his fingers and grabbed both of their lumps of flesh. At the same time, his hip was lifted and something hard and smooth touched the entrance. Sangwoo felt excited and hopeful at the same time. Jaeyoung chuckled softly.

   “As requested.”

   Then the other party pushed in forcefully, because it had been stimulated from the beginning, Sangwoo’s mouth let out a loud sound.

   “Ah, jesus!”

   Jaeyoung stared deeply into Sangwoo’s eyes and slowly slid in and out, teasing and making him feel helpless. Sangwoo tightened his grip on the other party’s neck until their foreheads touched.

   “Will you do it well?”

   “We’re arguing, did you forget?”

   “Who said I’m not angry… oh…oh my god…ah!”

   Jaeyoung lifted Sangwoo’s left leg higher and thrust forcefully. Sangwoo stopped talking and clung to the person in front of him, as if waiting for something while craning his neck, but the other party stopped moving again.

   When he looked down, he found that that huge thing didn’t go all the way in.  “Your revenge is so…”

   “My revenge?”

   “Because you talked about revenge like this…mmmhgr fuck!”

   “You’re talking about it correctly, then why don’t I show you what my revenge really means?”

   “You’ve gone too far… aaah…mmmmh!”

   Jaeyoung inserted his cock forcefully until it reached the hilt. Although  Sangwoo had now become accustomed to the other party inserting it like the first time, when the other party resisted like this, it made it difficult. Sangwoo’s brain was blank before he could compare which was more intense between the pleasure and the resentment, and he closed his eyes.

   “Hey, open your eyes.”

   Sangwoo scowled and shook his head.

   “You really are planning to not listen.”

   Jaeyoung grumbled before starting to move his body, pulling back slightly and then forcefully thrusting in, causing his entire body to shake. At the same time, a queasy feeling in his stomach expanded, one hand interlocked with Sangwoo’s hand. On the other side, supporting the back of the head.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Hah, ugh…”

   “Answer… like that.”

   Sangwoo wanted to answer, but only silence came out. Jaeyoung had already pressed deeper into the inner wall as if waiting, so he couldn’t answer. When he looked up, he was met with a determined face in front of him. Sangwoo attempted to kiss the other party again, but even the attempted kiss wasn’t allowed by Jaeyoung, who turned his face to the back.

   ‘An asshole with a really bad personality.’ 

   “If you’re not going to fuck me good, then lie down. I’ll do it myself.”

   As Sangwoo tried to get up, the other side pressed his shoulders down.

   Then the movements that made Sangwoo’s eyes have to close tightly started. Sangwoo even forgot about the feeling of annoyance that used to anger him as he wrapped his arms around the other party’s neck and hugged tightly, but in order to suppress the urge to moan, he tried to hold it in.

   “Don’t bite those beautiful lips.”

   Jaeyoung pushed his finger in his lover’s mouth as if seeing his state. So, Sangwoo abandoned his intention to resist and let out a moan that resounded through Jaeyoung.

   His body trembled in response to the intense and rhythmic movements, blending with the car seat. Jaeyoung leaned his upper body closer, using his palm to gently stroke his cheek. When he lifted his leg and widened his arms and spread his legs, the penetration became deeper. Sangwoo became lost in complete bliss and didn’t care about his embarrassing pose even for a moment.

   “Sang…woo-ya.”

   “Hah, ah… ha, ah.”

   “Answer me.”

   “Oh, uh, huh, um.”

   “You won’t answer… well… will you?”

   Sangwoo forcefully shook his face and moved his hips to match the rhythm that Jaeyoung joined in, colliding and grinding against each other. In an instant, a bright light flashed, and every time he clenched his lower part without realizing it, Jaeyoung’s groans would explode.

   ‘Absolutely amazing dicking, damn.’ 

   Sangwoo didn’t say anything, he just kept it in his mind. After discovering his own tendency to use foul language when drinking or having sex, he tried to stop that habit altogether.

   ‘Motherfucker…. I want to go crazy…’ 

   Even though it seemed like the other party wouldn’t try to control him either, Sangwoo swallowed the corner of Jaeyoung’s mouth, which had been staring at him since a moment ago, and their tongues fluttered and clashed like two fighting snakes. The lower confrontation between a cock and cock holster became more and more intense, and as soon as Sangwoo realized, his back was full of sweat. Not only his back, but every part of his body that came into contact with Jaeyoung was moist and hot.

   “Sangwooya, I…”

   Jaeyoung gasped heavily, alternating between heavy and normal breathing. As he raised his face, sweat dripped down from his chin and hit Sangwoo’s lips.

   “Why… uh…I’m trembling like this having sex with you… do you know?”

   ‘It’s an addiction. You should try going to the hospital.’ 

   Because he kept making moaning sounds, he couldn’t say what he wanted to say. Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s cheeks strongly, as if slapping his face, and forced him to turn and look at himself.

   “Your roughness…if it wasn’t now…when would I get to see it?”

   “You…asshole.”

   While Sangwoo laughed softly, Jaeyoung accelerated, and since then, his face and lower region moved in completely different directions. While the other party looked at Sangwoo affectionately, the lower region kept thrusting violently, repeating and intensifying more than ever before. Sangwoo wanted to face it with a smile, but all he could do was make moaning sounds.

   “Hyung… Help me… slowly… Ah, mmmhpf…”

   “Grammar. Sangwoo-ya.”

   “Oh, fuck… shit, I misspoke…just once…”

   “Ah, be yourself… You speak rudely, you know.”

   Sangwoo reluctantly complained, accusing Jaeyoung of violating Rule 17, but because he was too overwhelmed with anger, he couldn’t respond. In the car that day, Sangwoo was eaten and chewed relentlessly by Jaeyoung’s cock due to a mistake. Therefore, it was clearly etched in his mind, while even minor problems would not request special treatment, there is an exception for exception handling.

   ***.

   “Oh, so exhausted. Feels like I just played three basketball games.”

   When they got out of the car, half an hour had already passed after one o’clock in the night. Sangwoo looked at the car seat which was so messed up that he didn’t even want to look anymore, unable to forget as he expected. But Jaeyoung said he would handle it himself, so he took out a tissue to wipe and helped him out of the car but Sangwoo’s legs trembled so much that he couldn’t even walk properly. Jaeyoung begged Sangwoo to ride on his back, but as soon as he turned to let the devoured man get on, the other person confused him by saying never mind.

   “I am worrying.”

   “Hey, don’t worry. At least with physical fitness, I can’t do this every day.”

   “…No, try to think about when the semester ends. It will be like this.”

   In the elevator, Jaeyoung talked like it wasn’t important, but Sangwoo was worried that his life would be shattered. He was a student who had to take 24 credits, while Jaeyoung was a new employee of a company called ‘De:ex’. But Jaeyoung misunderstood that Rule 32 and 33 had been canceled, so incidents like this would happen every night.

   “If every day was like today, it would be great.”

   Jaeyoung leaned lightly against Sangwoo’s back, letting his weight down like that. It made Sangwoo walk home feeling like he was carrying a bear. After unlocking the door and entering, he managed the priorities.

   “First, have a glass of carrot juice. Then take a shower. Absolutely do not enter my bedroom before that.”

   Sangwoo assessed Jaeyoung’s attitude, thinking, ‘Just today I want to rest, without any disturbance, please.’ Then he took a glass out of the refrigerator and handed it to Jaeyoung. Jaeyoung looked at the glass with a downcast expression before snatching it away from Sangwoo’s hand.

   He placed the plastic wrap on the floor before closing his eyes tightly and starting to drink the water. His Adam apple moved every time the liquid flowed down his throat. Jaeyoung drank five hundred milliliters of water in one go before placing the glass on the table.

   “Hah, hah.”

   “Well done.”

   “As for you, I will drink for the last time because I see how difficult it is for you.”

   “What is it?”

   “It’s fine now, I don’t want to drink.”

   “But your dry eyes…”

   “Exception Handling.”

   Sangwoo couldn’t say anything. Jaeyoung held the weapon tightly in his hand without letting go. Sangwoo thought of vitamin A, pills, and chamomile tea as backup plans before finally replying that he understood.

   Jaeyoung took a red magic marker from the box, put it in his mouth, and walked to the wall with the thirty-three rules. He then crossed out rules 32 and 33, making a loud scratching sound as if they were his enemies, and wrote in large letters.

   [New negotiation, agreement reached.] 

   Jaeyoung hugged himself and looked at the destroyed message on the wall with great pride.

   “Good, very good.”

   Sangwoo was contemplating, reaching into his heart to give the other party a new pair of underwear, saying, “You must always sleep in just underwear. No pajamas.”

   “Now, I’ll take a shower.”

   “Are you going to shower first?”

   “Yes.”

   Jaeyoung stretched his arms and lazily pointed towards the ceiling before yawning and taking off his clothes, throwing them towards the bathroom door. Sangwoo silently looked at the back of the other person before changing his mind and stepping closer to hug him from behind. Jaeyoung turned around with a somewhat reluctant expression and looked at Sangwoo.

   “Who said we’re taking turns showering?”

   “Exception Handling.”

   Jaeyoung laughed and pulled Sangwoo into the bathroom. Then, the door closed with a loud bang. 

   ________________________________________.

   [1] Subject, object, verb, is the sentence structure in Korean.

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 4: Exception #4. 

   Sangwoo stood up to clean up the leftover food. When he saw the glass of carrot juice that Jaeyoung had touched and left, he felt even more hurt. He pretended not to know that the other party didn’t want to drink it, and he knew that if he didn’t keep an eye on it, Jaeyoung wouldn’t drink it. Because of that, although he wanted to give up, the desire to improve Jaeyoung’s dry eye condition was too much.

   Sangwoo covered the glass with plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator. Then he went to the sink to deal with the remaining dishes. He continued by cleaning the living room, and after that, his mind felt a little calmer. He leaned against the door of Jaeyoung’s room and thought about whether he should clean it well or give up his determination. No matter how effectively Sangwoo could sweep, the room would still take at least three hours.

   Sangwoo quickly took a shower before returning to his own room and transferred the photo files from the camera to his computer for storage. The photo he liked the most was when they were at the lake. Jaeyoung was showing off a huge water bubble that he blew, and he took a perfect shot when it burst. Sangwoo set that photo as his desktop background and scrolled through the other photos. There was a photo of Jaeyoung smiling with a wooden stick in his mouth, a photo of him playing on the phone on the Gethost House bed, and a photo of him asleep with the morning sun shining through the screen in sequence.

   Sangwoo suddenly became scared, wondering how it would be if one day Jaeyoung told him to break up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t change the other person’s mind, and what would he have to do then? When he thought about the suffering that was equal to the happiness he had experienced during this time, his body trembled instantly.

   ‘To prevent such a situation, the power must be cut off at the root.’ 

   Sangwoo made a definite decision that if it was a sprout that could grow into a breakup, no matter how small, he wouldn’t let it grow. Then he picked up his phone and checked the green sprout that had just sprouted again. Even though he could barely withstand about ten most recent messages, the remaining messages no longer affected his emotions as before.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Right now, I’m about to go home and get fried chicken _4 days ago.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: What are you wearing now? _4 days ago.] 

   After throwing accuracy away, he considered it a strategy to act nonchalant.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Why don’t you answer the phone????????? _1 month ago.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Who are you talking to??? If you don’t answer within 1 minute, we’re done. _1 month ago.] 

   Using excessive punctuation is the least efficient way in terms of effectiveness, but it seems to be a way to emphasize emotions and feelings.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Why are you like this? _2 months ago.] 

   Overall, even though he didn’t like the format of the text, he enjoyed the content.

   ‘He has always been like this, isn’t it?’ 

   Jang Jaeyoung wasn’t good from the beginning. Red clothes, odd gestures, and vulgar ways of speaking, he disliked them all. However, after coming to love the inner self the most in the world, even the disliked format became less annoying.

   ‘In the end, it’s not a big deal.’ 

   He felt sorry for making the person he loved a little bit sad, no matter how much he tried to console them. Sangwoo picked up the phone and sent a message to the other party. Then he took out the bookmark with 243 pages from the library and put it in the recycle box. He pulled out all the notes attached to the paper before checking his phone and finding a message.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: I love you/♡/. I miss you/♡♡♡/. _22:02.] 

   Anyway, it seemed like his boyfriend had calmed down. Sangwoo prepared to go outside, looked at the window with a nervous and expectant heart, waited for thirty-two minutes, and the familiar car appeared in his sight. He went straight to open the door and ran out.

   Sangwoo got on the elevator and ran without consciousness. Coincidentally, as Jaeyoung’s car pulled into the parking spot, he wanted to see the other party as soon as possible, but the tinted windows made it hard to see inside, and soon the car parked in the empty space, and then the driver’s side door opened.

   When Sangwoo first saw the man, he wondered, but when he got into the driver’s seat, he understood the situation immediately. Jaeyoung had flushed cheeks, and there was an alcohol smell in the car.

   “Are you drunk?”

   “Uh.”

   “With who?”

   “Daehyun and Jinjoo.”

   Sangwoo paused, looking at Kim Daehyun, aged 27, a high school friend of Jang Jaeyoung, currently a owner of a spicy stir-fried squid stall, and Lee Jijoo, aged 29, a company employee. Both of them were in a loving relationship, so they were not dangerous to Jaeyoung.

   After the conversation ended, an awkward atmosphere filled the air. Previously, they would argue and fight with each other, but since they officially started dating, this was the first time they fought with painful feelings. Sangwoo felt heartbroken that their once perfect relationship had been destroyed, but he learned from books that this was normal.

   “It is said that conflicts are evidence of good health.”

   Jaeyoung just looked out the window without saying anything. Sangwoo continued to speak.

   “It seems strange to not fight at all.”

   Jaeyoung chuckled lightly, so Sangwoo gained some courage.

   “The only three things I asked for when we started dating, that’s all. You are still doing well in all of them, so it’s okay.”

   Jaeyoung contacted him too often, becoming a problem. He never raised his voice and helped with English tutoring honestly three times a week.

   “What about the remaining thirty-three rules?”

   “Those are additional rules for living, and can be adjusted. I don’t want you to be stressed, it’s better to let them go than to hate me because you feel controlled.”

   “….”

   “I didn’t plan on dating you for just two years. If we want to be together for a long time, we have to take it easy. You may not know due to being in a relationship for a few weeks or months, but it’s said that even if we are very passionate from the beginning, we won’t last long.”

   “Who said that?”

   “How to Marry Your First Love Volume 2, page 148.”

   “….”

   Sangwoo stayed quiet for a moment, organizing his thoughts before speaking calmly.

   “So, we don’t have to do anything unnecessary. Just loving each other is enough. I know you smoke, so if you want to smoke, you can. If you’re tired, you don’t have to prepare breakfast. I eat cereal every morning, it’s fine. The spacing in the text doesn’t matter. It’s just my own greediness, it’s that kind of exception, handling [2], and it’s okay.”

   He couldn’t send an error message [3] every day because of such trivial matters. Sangwoo was a developer who knew the importance of prioritizing.

   “Exception? Handling?”

   “Even if you break the rules, there is a way to return a value without causing errors in the program.”

   “How?”

   “For example, when an exception occurs in a method in Java [4], you use the try-catch command… mmmh.”

   He was about to continue speaking but his mouth was shut. Jaeyoung, who didn’t know what was happening, approached and pressed his lips against him. His breath smelled of alcohol mixed with cigarettes. Jaeyoung simply closed his eyes and kissed without consciousness. He didn’t know if he had heard what he said. Sangwoo struggled to push the person in front of him away.

   “I’m trying to… talk… uh, mmmmh.”

   But Sangwoo continued to resist. As soon as he slightly opened his mouth, Jaeyoung’s hot tongue immediately intruded. Although it didn’t seem like he was very drunk, his hand that touched his neck felt warm. Jaeyoung forcefully pulled Sangwoo closer. Sangwoo gave in and hugged him back, feeling a dizzy intoxication.

   At that moment, he crossed over to the driver’s side, squeezing his body into the narrow space and settling himself on Sangwoo’s lap. Sangwoo removed his lips and grabbed the hand that was unbuttoning his pants.

   “Do you not think that attempting to resolve emotional conflicts through physical intimacy is a problem?”

   “Not at all.”

   Before Sangwoo could bury his lips on Jaeyoung’s neck, he pulled his shirt up and gently sucked his flesh into his mouth. Sangwoo struggled to open his mouth before losing himself.

   “Rules 32 and 33….”

   “Forget about them.”

   “What do you mean?”

   Jaeyoung raised his eyebrow and stared at Sangwoo, his gaze cold and dangerous.

   “Don’t I want to love you? I do love you, and there’s no need to designate the place or time for our love.”

   Sangwoo had a premonition that he would give in to the other party today, but he still responded quietly.

   “But you have to go to work tomorrow. And it’s a rule we agreed upon after switching seats, isn’t it?”

   “So what? I don’t care.”

   “I understand. Move over there first.”

   Sangwoo pushed Jaeyoung’s chest away, but the other party responded by pressing his body closer, leaving no room for retreat. “Go sit over there. I’ll use my mouth.”

   The words ended with a grumble. Jaeyoung immediately looked shocked.

   This was the first time Sangwoo had tried it again after tearing his mouth three months ago without fear. Sangwoo had practiced with a banana several times, but when he tried it for real, the size and slope were completely different, making the practice useless. However, when Jaeyoung wanted to do it, it meant the situation had changed and there was only one way to end it.

   Jaeyoung moved again and sat calmly in the seat next to the driver. Sangwoo crossed over to that side and pulled down Jaeyoung’s light gray jeans, exposing the wet front of his underwear in the darkness. He took a deep breath and pulled down the thin fabric of the underwear, revealing a large male organ laying on his abdomen.

   ‘Why does it look bigger today?’ 

   Sangwoo positioned himself on his knees between Jaeyoung’s legs, placing his elbows on both sides of the other’s knees, and took a deep breath, slightly looking up. Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo’s head with half-closed eyes, and the touch was not gentle and tender.

   “Just once and then we can go back to the room-… mmmhgrrr!”

   Because Jaeyoung pressed the back of Sangwoo’s head, Jaeyoung’s hard cock entered his open mouth.

   ‘Today is high-speed train mode.’ 

   Sometimes Jaeyoung becomes aroused with a special sexual desire. In such moments, the other person becomes quieter and the actions become rougher and more violent. In addition, there are modes such as gentle boyfriend mode, sports lover mode that focuses on sex, actor mode, AV mode, vulgar and rude talk mode, innocent and curious child mode, and lazy mode where Sangwoo does everything and Jaeyoung just lays there giving instructions. Sometimes, Sangwoo feels like he is dating multiple people. Not just one person.

   ________________________________________.

[1]      In Korea, there is a service that provides a driver when one is drunk or unable to drive. 

[2]      Exception Handling, dealing with errors. 

[3]      Error Message, a window or text that alerts the user about an error that occurs in a program. In this context, Sangwoo compares it to having to send a message to correct a sentence to Jaeyoung. 

[4]      Java programming language, “Java.” Divides the errors that may occur while running a program into two categories: Error, an error that cannot be fixed or handled, and Exception, an error that can be fixed or handled using the Try-Catch method, which is a command used to handle abnormalities. 

   ________________________________________.

    

    SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 3: Exception #3.

   Jaeyoung was stunned and speechless, gazing at the other party in astonishment as Sangwoo was busy with the show, staring at various points that caught his attention, such as the refrigerator, the wall-mounted shelf, the large door, and more.

   Rules, rules, rules. Jaeyoung knew well that Sangwoo was someone who had to create rules and follow them in order to feel at ease. Even his personal preferences were similar. Therefore, he had been continuously trying for three months to adjust himself to the other party’s thirty-three rules. Sangwoo had to reluctantly admit the effort, but he could still endure it. However, the fact that he had to make such small adjustments just because he didn’t like himself was too much to bear.

   “Hey, Chu Sangwoo.”

   Jaeyoung’s tone was cold. Sangwoo, who was putting up papers on the wall, turned around slightly surprised.

   “You started dating me without knowing what kind of person I am.”

   Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung and then turned back to finish putting up the papers on the wall before sitting on the opposite side of the dining table with a stern expression.

   “I know that, and I don’t like it. How would you like me to fix it?”

   “Why do I have to fix it? Can’t you be the one to fix it?”

   “The root cause of the problem is that you don’t use grammar properly.

   How can I be the one to fix it?”

   “It’s not that important. You can just overlook it after reading it, right?”

   Both parties started talking faster, and Sangwoo’s once calm face began to show signs of annoyance without him realizing it. Jaeyoung just kept looking at the ceiling for a moment before hugging his chest and making eye contact.

   “I’ll say one thing clearly. We need to maintain grammar for effective communication. Do you agree?”

   “I disagree. Text messages are not a thesis. I think it’s enough to convey the meaning. Besides, it’s not something you go back and read again.”

   “I backup everything indefinitely to keep it for the long term.”

   “… If I destroy your hard disk, will the problem be solved?”

   “It’s useless, because I can retrieve a copy from the cloud [1].”

   “…”

   Jaeyoung looked at his watch, regretting the wasted dinner time. This was the time when he should have been able to look into Sangwoo’s eyes, talk, and exchange feelings through eye contact. But Jaeyoung thought he couldn’t do that now. Everything that the other party has asked for until now has made everything worse. And he can’t fix everything just because of the word “love.”

   “I, myself, am trying and making efforts in every possible way to be a good enough man for you. Isn’t that enough?”

   “Trying?”

   Sangwoo’s expression did not understand even a little bit, and in that instant, Jaeyoung’s feelings collapsed completely.

   “What are you trying to do… No. It’s beyond that. Why should it be such a big deal? Just paying a little attention should be enough.”

   “I don’t want to do that.”

   “It’s a waste of time. Just five seconds, that’s all, and you can’t give me that?”

   “Then why do I have to adjust everything to suit your likes?”

   “Ah… really annoyed.”

   At first, it was just a small complaint about not leaving spaces, but now it has become a big problem because of other hidden issues.

   “Just do whatever you want! Saying that you love me is just words. Did I say something wrong?”

   “What are you talking about? I have sacrificed so much to adjust myself for you. If everything has to be adjusted to your liking, then I should just be with a robot like yourself. Why should you be with someone like me?”

   “How can you say things like that?”

   “Don’t do this in the morning, don’t do this on a regular day. Don’t do this in the bathroom.”

   Sangwoo was about to argue back, but Jaeyoung quickly continued speaking.

   “I’m not that kind of person! Sometimes when I’m drunk, I just want to sleep without taking a shower. If it’s interesting, I want to take my holiday to travel around on a regular day. I want to love you passionately wherever and whenever I want. I want to read a book anywhere other than a desk. I want to sleep anywhere other than a bedroom. I want to eat and leave my dishes without washing them and throw them away like that. I want to leave a messy room for a few days without cleaning it up. But you don’t let me do anything. I feel like I have become a part of your perfect program.”

   “What are you saying? You leave dishes every day and never clean the room when you should.”

   “Look, you only see my flaws. Do you really love me?”

   Jaeyoung clenched his fists and looked down at the floor. Meanwhile, his increasing sadness gradually turned into layers of dust like a strange creature. Jaeyoung realized that during the three months living with Sangwoo, he had both happiness and discomfort.

   “Don’t I love you? Have I done something to make you think like that?” Jaeyoung couldn’t say anything. Sangwoo was a genuinely loving and cute person, except during study time. The other side also used Jaeyoung’s time to participate in Jaeyoung’s hobbies, willingly watching even movies that didn’t suit their taste with full dedication, and being passionately intimate in bed like fireworks.

   However, Sangwoo was too meticulous. He had excessive reasoning and strictness for a lover. Checking the time before going to bed, always keeping track of time, and after making love, immediately starting with cleaning up. Even after the most passionate lovemaking, he would meticulously shower and put the wet clothes and sheets in the laundry basket.

   If asked what flaws his partner had in being meticulous and perfectionist, he had nothing to say. Jaeyoung felt sad about the truth that the other side was too perfect, but at the same time, he felt frustrated to complain about it with that excuse.

   ‘Seems like a fool, huh.’ 

   There was a small dissatisfaction and repeated conflicts. And then, goodbye. Jaeyoung remembered the statistics of past relationships that usually ended within one to two months. In previous relationships, Jaeyoung didn’t try anything, didn’t care about what the other party wanted, and if it didn’t work out, he would break up. But in this relationship, even though he tried every possible way with the intention of not making it end like that, conflicts still arose. This time, the one who needed to ask for something was not the opposite party, but himself. Jaeyoung didn’t know what he should do at a time like this, which made his heart endlessly chaotic.

   ‘No, I can’t just break up like that.’ 

   This relationship was serious and meant a lot to Jaeyoung. It wouldn’t be long before they would celebrate one hundred days together. “He is preparing for the ‘Event 100 Days’, the first time in his life, which is like a tradition celebrating one hundred days that was rare during a time when there were frequent wars because it was difficult for a baby to survive for three months.” Next month is Sangwoo’s birthday. “He already ordered birthday presents and kept them at the company.” They had never tried skiing together. “He already prepared goggles, ski suits, and a snowboard for Sangwoo.” But he, who was afraid of being left behind, was overly worried.

   “Why don’t you answer? Did I do something wrong?”

   “You didn’t do anything wrong, everything is my fault.”

   At a point where they should try to resolve conflicts, his way of speaking sounded challenging. If he could adjust everything to fit Sangwoo. If he could do everything that the other party desired. If he could be a more complete person than this. If he didn’t have such an easily irritated personality, would they still have conflicts?

   “I don’t want to impose on you, I’ll go outside for a while.”

   “Don’t go, please.”

   “I’ll calm down a bit and then come back.”

   “I said don’t go.”

   Jaeyoung got up without caring, thinking that arguing with Sangwoo in this situation would only lead to more fights. He put on a jacket for exercising that hung on a hanger and walked towards the front door. Sangwoo sat quietly in front of the table eating. Meanwhile, Jaeyoung put on shoes before grabbing the doorknob.

   “Sometimes I might not be able to see you.”

   “…”

   “But don’t say that I didn’t try enough. I quit smoking because of you.” With that said, he walked out. 

   ***.

   ‘What did we do wrong?’ 

   Sangwoo tried to think carefully, but couldn’t come up with an answer. Usually, it takes 5-30 seconds to type a message, depending on how fast you type and how many spaces you tap. Each word doesn’t increase the typing time by that much. But Jaeyoung seemed to interpret Sangwoo’s request as disrespectful and excessive.

   ‘I just don’t understand.’ 

   Sangwoo looked out the window and called Jaeyoung. The call was cut off midway, and a message came in instead.

   – [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥:. Will be back in a moment _20:06.] 

   [Will be back in a moment/ /be back in a moment/ / _20:07][2.] 

   ‘Oops.’ 

   After sending the amended message, Sangwoo realized his mistake. This action clearly provoked an argument, but he couldn’t take back the message he had sent. Sangwoo anxiously waited for a reply, feeling as if he could see Jaeyoung’s disappointed face on the screen.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: It’s quite entertaining _20:11.] 

   “…”

   Just as he had thought. The other side was intentionally making mistakes, clearly trying to pick a fight with him. Sangwoo fought back, thinking he couldn’t surrender. Then a message, even more difficult to read than before, arrived.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: H-EY _20:13.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: N-1orrP-Yook, SongjangOf? _20:14][3.] 

   As soon as he saw the message, Sangwoo felt a sharp pain in his temples.  This was the first time he had read a text and felt such intense frustration. Sangwoo tried his best not to focus on the emotive words and abandoned the thought of fixing and tapping an offensive response.

   [I understand now _20:14.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥:. I / /understand/ /now/ / _20:15.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Why don’t you reply, yadaa _20:16.] 

   ‘What is that?’

   [Ignore. _20:16.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Ignore _20:17.] 

–     [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: ㅁ@ri 음데 g#로ㅎ*wr ㅅ Hr 요 qqqq^ㅡ& 

   _20:18][4.] 

   ‘Are you really crazy?’ 

   If his fingers were not disabled, there would be no way to type such a long letter. Sangwoo tried to respond calmly, but the continuous incoming messages made him lose his focus.

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: 뿛쭋뚮뚢ㄹ꿁ㄹㄹㄹㄹ _20:20][5.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: my, ne”m, ei, sJang Jae.young _20:20.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: abcdefghiJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJwJJJ ㅈ JJJJJ _20:20.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Why can’t it be fixed? _20:21.] 

   [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Is it really ignored??? _20:23.] 

   Sangwoo hesitated as he didn’t know what to answer. At that moment, he saw a white box-shaped car moving away from the parking spot. Sangwoo leaned his face against the window and looked, but the car disappeared from his sight in an instant. He then returned to sit at the table to eat with a feeling of despair.

   Sangwoo himself didn’t want to control someone as free-spirited as Jaeyoung. He was worried that the other party would feel confined and would try to avoid conflicts in their daily lives as much as possible. The rules were minimal, like leaving small problems outside without discussing them, or dealing with things like taking off socks and leaving them scattered without mentioning it repeatedly and finding a way to handle it himself. Even though they both had their own rooms, Jaeyoung still slept with Sangwoo every day, but he never considered it a problem at all, to the point that he made the other party escape outside.

   ‘Is it my fault?’ 

   Sangwoo began to wonder who was really suffering. Jaeyoung always had a smile on his face, so he assumed the other party was happy. However, it seemed that the inner sadness was not just about two incidents.  ‘I want to love you passionately anywhere, anytime.’ 

   In the first month of dating Jaeyoung, Sangwoo was in a state of entropy 

   [5]. Sangwoo was on a school break, so he didn’t experience much impact, but Jaeyoung only slept for two hours, or went to work early in the morning. Even though Jaeyoung ate a lot, he lost three kilograms of weight that month. It was a period of extreme fatigue. There were instances like getting injured because he tried a move from a martial arts textbook and ended up exerting too much force, breaking the bathroom wall and having to repair it, having to buy a new dining table because the legs broke, and buying a new sofa because it was damaged. Despite all that, he was grateful for the limited time and space that allowed him to remain human up to this point.

   ‘Look, you only see my flaws.’ 

   That was a serious misunderstanding. Sangwoo lost his sense of balance completely. Now he couldn’t remember what Jaeyoung’s flaws were, or if he even had any. Just seeing the other person made him feel content. He never found a time to think about flaws, he never did. When he heard words like that, it hurt his heart. 

   “…It’s frustrating, huh.”

   ________________________________________.

[1]      Cloud computing – a tool for storing, processing, and managing data over the Internet in exchange for a fee, or it can be an online drive. 

[2]      [In a while/, I’ll go back in././,_ 20:07] Actually, this sentence is not a problem in Thai, but just to give readers an image that in Korean, Jang

   Jaeyoung typed it wrong without spacing according to the Korean typing rules and didn’t end the sentence with a punctuation mark, “..” and therefore, I would like to keep the typing format in Korean. 

[3]      [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: น1อr1ป ㄴ人 ยคเุ , ซจงอ่F¿,_20:14] Are you a person from the era of King Sejong? 

[4]      [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥:

   ㅁ@ri 음데 g#로ㅎ*wr ㅅ Hr 요 qqqq^ㅡ&,_ 

   20:18] You can interpret it as 마음대로, 하세요, “Come as you please.” 

[5]      [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Blurred _20:20] It is a meaningless and random text. 

[6]      Entropy is a measure of the disorder of a system. The higher the disorder of the system, the higher the entropy value, but if the system has less disorder, the entropy value will be lower. 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Special Chapter  2: Exception #2.

   Jaeyoung picked up a fork when he started the meal. After a few bites, Sangwoo asked.

   “Did you drink carrot juice yesterday?”

   “Hmm…”

   “You didn’t listen to me, I told you to drink it before bed.”

   Last month, after saying just one word about dry eyes, Sangwoo started making 500 milliliters of carrot juice every day. It seemed like a good thing, but the problem was that it didn’t taste good. In the first few times, he was still under the influence and drank what the other party gave him. But after that, it became annoying to the point where he had to find an excuse not to drink it and secretly threw it away several times.

   “Did you throw it away?”

   “…”

   “It’s okay. I can make it again.”

   Sangwoo responded nonchalantly before picking up the last piece of tomato in the salad bowl to eat.

   “I’m full.”

   After speaking, he got up from his seat, put the used utensils in the sink, then walked back to find Jaeyoung and leaned down to kiss his cheek, as a reward for the meal. Although it was a learned action, not a natural display of love, Jaeyoung couldn’t help but smile.

   He hugged Jaeyoung around his waist, but Sangwoo easily avoided him and went to brush his teeth in the bathroom. Jaeyoung took care of the remaining food before clearing the table, feeling a sense of regret.

   ‘I don’t want us to separate.’

   Sangwoo usually wakes up at the same time, eats at the same time, brushes his teeth at the same time, and leaves the house at the same time. In eight minutes, that side would have left already. Jaeyoung rushed to finish washing up so he could go out with the other person. The two men moved in and out of the bathroom.

   Sangwoo, who finished brushing his teeth and put on his backpack. Jaeyoung was wearing an oversized cardigan while Sangwoo bent down to put on his shoes at the entrance. Jaeyoung handed an old baseball cap he heard was used since high school to be worn by the other side. Then he stood waiting for Sangwoo to get up and hugged him from behind.

   “Is it okay if I resign from the company?”

   “…”

   “So that I can go to university with you.”

   The teasing words heated up Sangwoo’s neck, making it turn red. “Why did I have to ride a real bicycle? It makes me uncomfortable.” Jaeyoung hugged him tighter and whispered softly.

   “Uncomfortable? Are you sick? Maybe it’ll be better if you get an injection.

   How about taking off your pants and I will give you a physical examination?”

   “You pervert!”

   Sangwoo released his arm from Jaeyoung’s embrace and unlocked the door.

   As the door opened, the cool autumn air brushed against their cheeks.

   Jaeyoung put on his sneakers and followed Sangwoo out.

   They stood facing each other in front of the elevator. Jaeyoung adjusted Sangwoo’s bomber jacket and zipped it up to his chest. Then, he lowered his head and lightly kissed the same organ of the other party. They were about to continue, but Sangwoo turned his head, kissed him deeply, and held him tightly, while he was still unable to maintain his composure due to the passionate display of affection. As the elevator doors opened, Sangwoo withdrew his lips as if nothing had happened and led him inside.

   “…”

   They went too far. They should have enticed each other until they reached the stairs and kissed there, or they should have returned to the bedroom? These two were teasing each other almost to the point of missing the elevator, or at the very least, they should have passionately kissed each other until the elevator could go up and down twice more, right? The start and end of Jaeyoung’s love affair was too direct.

   “Won’t you come in?”

   It was clear that if left like that, the other party would have to go down first, so Jaeyoung quickly entered the elevator. Sangwoo pressed the 1st floor button and muttered.

   “Why did I have to ride a real bicycle for this?”

   “There are good ways to solve problems.”

   “No matter what, I can’t do it. It may be okay for you to be flexible with work hours, but I can’t change my school schedule. Don’t forget that I’m a student.”

   “So what? Don’t forget that I’m your boyfriend.”

   “…Whatever.”

   After exchanging a few short sentences, they parted ways. Sangwoo checked his watch before hastening his steps, while the other party went to retrieve his parked bicycle. Jaeyoung looked back briefly and made eye contact with Sangwoo.

   “I’ll go first. See you later.”

   “Take care and be safe while cycling.”

   “Focus on your studies. Eat well. Concentrate on reading. Don’t let anyone distract you. I miss you a lot…” Jaeyoung muttered to himself, gazing at the distant figure. He then walked straight to the parking lot.

   After driving to the company building, he immediately went into a meeting. Once finished, he sent a couple of emails and did some work. Soon it was almost lunchtime. Jaeyoung checked his phone, which he hadn’t looked at for several hours.

   [Ru Jihye: Nothing unusual today, oh, by the way, I can’t have lunch with Sangwoo today~ _11:51.] 

   Fate was fate, this semester Ru Jihye had the same class as Sangwoo again. It wasn’t like they consulted each other, but on Mondays and Thursdays, they took the same elective. If it had happened before, Jaeyoung would have been heartbroken, but he easily solved this problem when he made Jihye have a boyfriend. It was an opportunity to establish a platonic relationship between a crocodile and a bird[1]. In this secret operation, Jihye acted as Jaeyoung’s loving and devoted spy.

   [Why? _12:01.] 

   [Ru Jihye: I have a date with Hyojin ^-^ _12:02.] 

   I just told you to have lunch together with him twice a week, is it that difficult? 

   When Jaeyoung thought that Sangwoo would eat alone, Jaeyoung called the other party but did not expect him to answer because Sangwoo had set his phone to silent mode. Even though Jaeyoung persuaded him to set the notification sound only for his number, he still left a message, but the response came back faster than expected.

   [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: How are you doing? Eat well. _12:05]

   [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: I’m doing well. I also ate well. _12:06] Jaeyoung stared at the phone screen for a moment.

   “Jaeyoung! What are you doing? Let’s go eat together.”

   “Uh, sure.”

   After that, he couldn’t say anything because he was speechless, so he put his phone in his pants pocket.

   ‘Yesterday, after saying that, I thought I would let it go, but I didn’t.’ 

   Then, until they finished eating, until they drank coffee and chatted with other employees, until they returned to the company and used the mouse again, the frustration remained. When there were ten more minutes left to finish work, Jaeyoung decided to prove that suspicion. [Tamaraya _18:20]  – [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: What are you doing? _18:21] 

–     [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: Reading. _18:21] 

   [Yuhinai _18:22] 

–     [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: Where are you? _18:23] 

–     [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: Home. _18:23] 

–     [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: When will you come back? _18:24] 

   [Igchamchịbna telekngụn _18:24] 

–     [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: Cannot be fixed. _18:27] 

   The suspicion was correct. Chu Sangwoo was engrossed in his typography.  Jaeyoung knew well that if the other party started to focus once… no matter what he did, he would not give up. If he wanted to avoid a war, he had to make adjustments, but a corner of his mind refused.

   ‘Why is it always me who has to give in and go to him?’ 

   Is this a one sided love or not, this is a relationship where we both love each other equally. Does he have to bow his head like this? Sangwoo didn’t have to give in or try anything. It’s not like Jaeyoung. The other side always went to university at the same time, studied the same way, just used the remaining time with Jaeyoung only. The disappointment and regret that I order and contain constantly filled my heart in an instant.

   “Doesn’t anyone plan to leave work?”

   “Let’s go drink today. The team leader isn’t here.”

   “Oh, good deal! Daehyun, Jinjoo, are you okay? What about Jaeyoung?”

   Jaeyoung, who was sulking with his raised handphone, looked up, and the employees sitting next to him looked at him with hopeful faces.

   “Oh. I have to go home.”

   “Going home every day. Anyone who sees it would think you’re a small child’s father.”

   “I have not a child. But there’s something similar at home.”

   “You don’t seem to be. I thought you got a girlfriend again.”

   As he laughed without answering, the employee sitting opposite shouted.

   “I want to talk to you, Jaeyoung! Let’s go together today.”

   “What is it?”

   “I’ll tell you straight. I want a new character in the game. I’ll raise it with liquor, okay?”

   Hearing that, many people laughed. In this company, there are only a few who play <Veggie Venturer>. Sometimes, that might be normal because it became the number one game in the App Market for a whole month. The assistant Park, for example, was heard to have spent 120,000 won.

   “Update on Friday, did you release the new map and new item, assistant?”

   “As soon as it was updated, I persuaded myself to buy it.”

   “…Because I don’t have to be like that, I don’t want to.”

   “I don’t care how much, so give me a new character. Is the new character being made?”

   “I think we should talk to our developers first.”

   “Let’s not talk here. Everyone, leave together first.”

   Jaeyoung released the person who was going to have dinner together and headed towards the parking lot before calling Sangwoo. Before the third ring, he heard the voice of the other party.

   [Hello.] 

   “I am leaving the office. I was thinking of buying dinner. Do you want anything?”

   [Buy whatever you want.] 

   “There’s a newly opened restaurant near the company called Le Bonne. Let’s try it.”

   [Sure.] 

   After hanging up, he went to the restaurant, stood in line in front of the popular restaurant, bought bread with soy sauce dip, Arab dumplings, kabob, tamarind, and fried rice with strong spices inside. Then he drove back home.

   As he opened the door, he found Sangwoo cutting carrots in the kitchen. He hugged the other person from behind and rested his chin on their shoulder.

   The other person then stopped their hand.

   “I’m doing this. If you continue getting frisky I might get a wound.”

   “I miss you.”

   “I feel the same.”

   Even though the dry and rough voice almost broke his heart, he knew that the other person wasn’t saying anything meaningless. Still, Jaeyoung felt a little sad. Sangwoo stirred the carrots in the blender like someone who was working on something very important before pouring it into a large glass, then looked at Jaeyoung.

   “Drink.”

   “…”

   Jaeyoung didn’t dare to refuse, so he took the glass and moistened his lips before placing it on the table. Once the food was arranged on the plate…

   Sangwoo sat down on the chair. “So, today…”

   The other side raised its head and looked at Jaeyoung with a smirk.

   “You look like a kid, huh?”

   The other side understood that teasing a little like this, does Sangwoo look like a kid? Jaeyoung noticed that Sangwoo’s language suddenly changed after washing his hands. After sitting opposite Sangwoo, they started eating quietly.

   “Didn’t you ask today if there was something I wanted to say?”

   “Is there something?”

   “In the computer class, I received praise for having all the excellent qualities of a developer. It seems that I am the first in the past five years to get full marks for the homework.”

   “The teacher should be proud.”

   Jaeyoung tore off a piece of bread to eat. At the same time, he felt a chill in his heart. He enjoyed the time when Sangwoo told stories about his daily life in great detail. During this time, he got to listen to stories that weren’t really new, got to look into his eyes, and listen to Sangwoo’s voice while eating together.

   “But in the advanced English conversation class, it doesn’t seem high enough. I have to pair up and keep introducing myself for a long time, ‘Hi, I’m a major in computer engineering’, something like that.”

   Recently, he had been studying hard, wanting to be great. Although his abilities didn’t really match that level, Jaeyoung was still pleased.

   “Oh, that’s what you consider high? Recently, your abilities have increased a lot. It’s not only because of your abilities.”

   “That’s it. I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I think you teach better than Linsey. I enrolled because it’s an elective course. Otherwise, I would have dropped it before. Ru Jihye always acts like I’m like this and that, she can’t do it herself.”

   “Jihye is jealous, huh.”

   “Not to the point of jealousy, but she likes to gossip.”

   “Improve yourself first, being a seriously funny kid.”

   He reassured Sangwoo, trying to boost his confidence. Why is he trying to decrease trust in odd places? Jaeyoung mentally noted what he would say to Mrs-Jihye and continued chewing his fried rice.

   “After having a meal, I drank coffee and took a walk…”

   “Alone?”

   “Yes. Then I went to study the courses, Mobile Computing.”

   “Is it said that the course is too easy because you already know the content?”

   “It’s a fourth-year major course. I am a bit disappointed that I hardly learn anything new.”

   “It’s good to get an easy grade. That’s what they say.”

   “That’s what my seniors said.”

   “And then?”

   “I thought about going home… and I spent an hour reflecting on your flaws.”

   The mouth of Jaeyoung, who was chewing his food with determination, stopped moving instantly.

   “I tried to think whether personal freedom should come first, but I think for people in a relationship, it should be something to ask for.”

   Sangwoo put down his chopsticks before wiping his mouth with a tissue.

   Then, he looked into Jaeyoung’s eyes.

   “Next time, try to use proper grammar when texting.”

   “…”

   Sangwoo got up from his seat, walked into the room, and came back with thick documents in his arms. The documents were stacked and had more than two hundred pages, and the title was… 

   ________________________________________.

[1]      Crocodile and bird crocodile, a situation where both types benefit from each other, “protocooperation.” Crocodiles provide food, and the bird helps clean up food scraps from between the teeth, but there is no bondage.

   Even if they are separated, both can live normally. 

[2]      [Chu Sangwoo♡♡: How are you doing in school? Please enjoy your meal. _12:05]. Sangwoo corrected the sentence that Jaeyoung typed. 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Special Chapter 1: Exception #1. 

The fact that Android robots can feel and have emotions is indeed interesting, but that’s all.”

Sangwoo spoke after the screen turned black and the End Credits appeared. Jaeyoung, who was lying stretched out, grabbed a piece of fried potato chip from the table and started eating.

“Really? It means it wasn’t very enjoyable.”

“The process of self-control and having original thoughts went too far. Plus, someone repaired it, updated it, gave it synthetic skin, and installed the reproductive organs without any desire. This is damn expensive science fiction.

It’s like having a supernatural being.”

Jaeyoung laughed without saying anything, while the ever-critical critic’s skills were continuously developing. Sangwoo took a sip of beer before running his fingers through Jaeyoung’s hair.

“It’s funny because it’s an android robot designed to assist in everyday life, but it’s language application skills are so low that it doesn’t understand specific terms at all. The plot is that he is tasked with making a music box with his hands and ends up becoming a millionaire… The scene where the androids talk loudly is just ridiculous.”

“You lack imagination, don’t you?”

“I get frustrated because I don’t see anything that reflects reality.”

“So that’s why it frustrates you, huh? It’s a great movie.”

“This group doesn’t care what kind of movie it is. Sangwoo, who doesn’t watch movies as a hobby, watches them attentively. Normally, he is interested in science fiction genres that are far from reality, while historical and cyberpunk genres with potential for errors receive low ratings. However, if there is content that stimulates the desire to win, such as sports competition, gambling, or game shows, it will receive high ratings.”

“So, what do you think?”

Jaeyoung turned his head to face up, in a position perfect for admiring the handsome face of his boyfriend. Jaeyoung gently placed his hand on the side of his own face, near the corner of his mouth before giving a loud kiss. At that moment, Sangwoo, who was looking at the TV, secretly glanced down and caught the kiss.

“It’s normal. I just don’t like that the problems are too easily resolved. But I focus more on the direction of the story rather than the sci-fi elements.”

“Oh.”

“If you look at it in terms of emotions, love, creativity, and the changes in emotions that wish to have a life that could die, it’s not bad… The amount of drama is still minimal, and it’s true that I feel like the scientific details are too sensitive for your taste.”

Sangwoo paused, his face blank, and looked at the screen again without any emotional expression, muttering to himself.

“And the subtitles are also typed wrong, and there are so many spacing errors that it distracts attention.”

“That’s right. Did they translate it wrong? They should pay more attention.”

It should have ended there, but Jaeyoung casually spoke without thinking, unaware that he was interrupting the sleep of the lion that was snoring.

“But don’t overlook the matter of spacing, it’s only exhausting to pay attention to you all the time.”

Darkness fell for five seconds. Jaeyoung yawned. When he lifted his gaze, he met Sangwoo’s slightly cool eyes. Sangwoo looked down at Jaeyoung and spoke.

“Spacing is a form of alliteration [1], isn’t it?”

“Who would care if they’re not linguistic freaks or grammar police?”

Up until this point, Jaeyoung still couldn’t perceive the tension of the situation and continued speaking without thinking. Sangwoo just laughed.

“Why do we need rules if no one enforces them? I’ve been wondering all along, but now I think I understand.”

Sangwoo continued speaking with a somewhat mocking tone.

“Why don’t you use spacing?”

Jaeyoung felt a pang of unease as the words left, he rubbed his cheek and fidgeted with his spoon, then hesitantly replied.

“They use that time to think about you instead.”

“Are you always like this even before you started dating me?”

“…”

This is not a situation that can be just let go. Sangwoo picked up his phone from the table and looked at the screen for a moment before handing the communication device to Jaeyoung. When Jaeyoung took a look, he discovered that it was a message he had previously sent to the other party. [♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Come back today no matter what, prepare yourself for 15 punishments _6 days ago.] 

And so what? It’s just a regular message. Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo with an unfamiliar gaze. Sangwoo took the phone back, his expression didn’t look good.

“Now I see that spacing while writing is not the only problem.”

“It’s not that important, why are you like this?”

“The text doesn’t follow grammar rules, so it takes a long time to decipher.  It may be convenient for yourself, but it wastes other people’s time.”

He never really thought about it before. And more than that, decipher it like this…It doesn’t even have a secret code. Jaeyoung felt slightly annoyed, but then he stood up and pulled Sangwoo close, hugging him before the atmosphere could worsen. Meanwhile, the other side was still staring at the mobile phone, annoyed.

“If it’s a strategy to increase typing speed, I don’t think it’s a good thing, but

I understand.”

“Yes, that’s it.”

“Not at all. If you look at this, you’ll see that it’s only using the same unnecessary sentence structure.”

[♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: “Picture.” _9 yesterday.] 

[♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Actually, Sangwoo, this is a suit that I made for you, so I’ll order it right away for you to wear for the upcoming Red vs 

Blue game. _9 yesterday.] 

[♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!

_9 yesterday.] 

“…That’s right. Why did I type like that?”

Sangwoo’s expression turned sour as he continuously looked back at the messages. He handed his phone to Jaeyoung and hugged him.

[♥Jang Jaeyoung♥: Ah, today I’m going to uni. I love you. _17 yesterday.] 

“The difficulty level of deciphering it is extremely high.”

“…I must be drunk.”

“That’s why I released it. I won’t say anything.”

“Then why did you act all jealous just now?”

Jaeyoung’s tone became more aggressive without him realizing.

As he started dating Sangwoo, he made an effort to be a perfect lover and only focused on the matters of the current week. On Saturday morning, he coerced himself to stay up late and traveled to the beautiful lakeside of Chungju City. He took a single-track train and a tourist boat, and at night, they enjoyed a barbecue at a pension guesthouse, followed by a warm evening together full of love making escapades. On Sunday, they went parasailing and had fun in the lush green fields, with a panoramic view of the city. Then they returned to Seoul, where the atmosphere was truly superb, suddenly something happened just because of a poorly translated movie subtitle.

“Am I not enough for you? If you just cared a little bit, wouldn’t that be enough? Why can’t you do it?”

Jaeyoung leaned back on the sofa, exhausted, and covered his face with his hands as he spoke sternly.

“Oh, I think I’ve gone too far with this. It looks a bit excessive.”  “…”

As he lowered his hands and looked around, Sangwoo noticed that Jaeyoung was staring at the floor with an uneasy expression. It seemed to be a matter of great concern. Jaeyoung couldn’t find the right words to say and couldn’t even bring himself to give in to Sangwoo, as he usually would. He threw an empty beer can far away, the can floating in an elegant arc from Jaeyoung’s fingertips before landing gracefully in the trash bin.

Sangwoo glanced at him, then quickly got up from his seat and walked tensely towards the trash bin to retrieve the beer can. He placed it neatly in the recycling box before walking back. Sangwoo stood in front of him instead of sitting on the sofa. Jaeyoung hugged his chest and looked up at the other.

“It’s not that difficult, really. You can do it, but you choose not to.”

“It may be easy for you, but it’s not for me.”

“What’s difficult about this? You just don’t make any effort for me, that’s all, isn’t it?”

“…How did it come to this conclusion?”

“Don’t just say ‘I love you.’ Show it through your actions.”

Jaeyoung felt so overwhelmed that he couldn’t find the right words to say. Should he say that he doesn’t show it through his actions? But if that’s the case, then what has he been trying to do all this time? Every morning, he had to wake up an hour earlier to prepare breakfast for Sangwoo. After work, if it wasn’t necessary to go out to eat, he would rush home immediately. He constantly thought about what he could do for Sangwoo, and while living together, he tried his best to understand and comply with Sangwoo’s rules. He maintained it throughout his life, and he even quit smoking.

“I’ll just think that I can’t help with what happened in the past. From now on,

I’ll just do good things for you.”

Sangwoo talked with mercy before starting to collect the table. Jaeyoung looked at the other side holding a plate of fried potatoes and a can of beer to the kitchen and decided to step back a step, because he didn’t want to cause any arguments.

When Sangwoo returned from the kitchen, Jaeyoung immediately pulled to the other side to sit on the stool before he could complain about anything else. He glanced at his wristwatch and found that it was already five minutes past midnight. So by going to bed now, it would turn into Monday.

[Rule No. 32: No sex on weekdays.] 

That was a rule set up after they had been together for about a month. Back then, they only flirted with each other, but they did have sex like animals, causing many problems. When Jaeyoung slid his hand into the shirt and brushed the back, Sangwoo raised his arms around his neck and tapped their foreheads together.

“You only have forty-five minutes, not another second , okay?”

“I understand.”

When he closed his eyes, the other side gently pressed their lips together. As the kisses began, all the sadness and confusion that had plagued them disappeared. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo around the waist and lifted the other side. At first, Sangwoo was very surprised, but after doing it several times, it seemed like he was used to it. This time, he entwined his legs around the waist, laughing. It must be fun for him.

[Rule No. 33: No sex outside the bedroom.] 

He used the back door of Sangwoo’s bedroom instead of his own room, which had a lot of junk on the bed that made it impossible to sleep.

Although there was more food than before, everything was organized. Next to the table with a lamp was a cabinet, and on it were cameras, DSLRs, recently purchased professional cameras placed, and hanging beside them were Sangwoo’s original dark-colored clothes. “Jaeyoung filled the closet with clothes, but the rule is that it can only be opened on the day of going on a date.” There were posters on the wall, versions of musicals with Jaeyoung’s invitation to perform attached.

Jaeyoung laid Sangwoo down on the bed and climbed up to straddle him, they closed their eyes and kissed for a long time. At the same time, Jaeyoung reached out to open the drawer next to the bed and took out ‘what was for preparation’. Jaeyoung’s shirt was quickly removed by Sangwoo. Although it has been three months since they confirmed their feelings for each other and started dating seriously, the passionate heat still hasn’t cooled down. Jaeyoung felt the rush that was similar to every time he took off Sangwoo’s pants.

“Hello.”

“Uh, why?”

“About the spacing, can we fix it?”

However, if it’s about determination and firm belief, he must understand. As Jaeyoung flicked his side-colored bangs, Sangwoo shifted his gaze and twisted his body. Jaeyoung laughed and kissed Sangwoo’s cheeks, forehead, and nose affectionately.

“Are you still thinking about that? Lie down ass up.”

“I just asked out of curiosity.”

Sangwoo grumbled in dissatisfaction but still turned around.

***

As he raised his gaze, Jaeyoung quickly grabbed his phone to silence the alarm. It was 7:30 a.m. displayed on the screen above the image of a man eating pasta at the table.

Once he tossed the phone onto the blanket and turned around, he came face to face with the man on the screen. Jaeyoung hugged the waist of the other person lying face up, pressed his body against theirs, and gently kissed their neck, but

Sangwoo did not wake up. He only made a small noise, and his lover Jaeyoung would always go to bed at around midnight and wake up at eight o’clock. And he would sleep soundly for those eight hours without waking up.

Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo, and after a while, he rolled off and lay there for about ten minutes before getting up. He came out of the room wearing only his underwear before closing the door carefully and going to take a shower. After getting dressed, he headed straight to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator wide and took out chicken, various vegetables, coconut oil, eggs, and others, placing them on the table. Once they were both there, Jaeyoung would cook rice, while Sangwoo would take photos as his hobby. When Jaeyoung started cracking eggs into the pan, Sangwoo walked out of the room.

“You appeared in my dream just now.”

“What was the dream about?”

“It was a scary dream. I have nothing else to tell you.”

After that, he walked into the bathroom. When Jaeyoung finished making the chicken salad and omelet and arranged a complete plate, Sangwoo came out again in jeans and a black long-sleeved t-shirt, with wet hair.

“Did you sleep comfortably?”

Sangwoo sat down at the table and asked. Jaeyoung stopped and put the dishes on the table, after pouring milk into the glass until it was full, he sat down across from Sangwoo and crossed his legs.

Sangwoo drank a glass of milk before scooping a spoonful of porridge and putting it in his mouth. Why did he have to sit still and watch the other person eat? Jaeyoung always wondered, but he couldn’t know for sure. Chu Sangwoo thought that eating was just a way to replenish energy. He didn’t eat fancy or delicious food, just sat politely and ate in the same posture. He looked at the hand holding the spoon, the corners of the mouth chewing slowly, the moving Adam’s apple, and even the elbow resting on the table.

‘Does it give a feeling of nurturing animals?’

Jaeyoung wanted to take care of the rare and beautiful black mamba snake with all the good things in this world. Sometimes his father’s love might give him a similar feeling. Jaeyoung tried to capture an image of Sangwoo. Then he realized that Sangwoo had been in the same position in the album for about thirty pictures before giving up his intention. At that moment, his eyes met with Sangwoo.

“Are you not eating?”

“Eating.”

“Hurry up and eat, or you’ll be late.”

“That’s right. If I don’t take my eyes off of you, I will definitely be late.”

Jaeyoung didn’t miss the faint smile that appeared on the corners of Sangwoo’s lips before it disappeared. In the third month of dating. Although it might have been enough time, on the contrary, Jaeyoung became more and more submissive. Now, he could only hear Sangwoo’s breathing, he knew what state the other party was in.

________________________________________.

[1]      Typography, the writing method and the use of the writing system of a language correctly, “In one language, there may be more than one writing system, such as the word language.” 

[2]      Paragliding. It resembles a parachute, vibrant colors, and players sit and slowly descend. There are tools to control the direction. 

To be continued. 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 95: #13. 

“I don’t want to be your sex partner anymore. People who alleviate your loneliness are abandoned… It hurts me. It’s probably impossible for me. I want to go on a date with you, have a meal at a beautiful place with you, go on trips with you, walk with you, sleep with you, be your life partner, be your other half.

How can two men be in a relationship? Well, see for yourself.”

Jaeyoung continued his long speech without taking a breath before abruptly stopping. The other party grabbed a phone from his pants pocket. Then, he opened a particular file and handed it to Sangwoo. It seemed to be an infographic that looked like the guy had made the graphics and charts himself. But after glancing through it briefly, Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung with a blank expression.

“World population… ‘Blah blah.’ In nature itself… ‘Blah blah.’ Giving importance to freedom… raising awareness of human rights… ‘Blah blah.’

Making people accept it through laws…”

Strange. He was sure that Jaeyoung was presenting data and talking about something logical, but Sangwoo’s ears didn’t hear it. Among the things the other party had previously mentioned, only the words ‘life partner’, ‘couple’, and ‘other half’ repeated over and over in his mind.

“Hey.”

After a light tap on his forehead, Sangwoo returned to reality.

“Are you thinking about something else? I’m talking seriously here.”

“No, it’s not like that. I was just a bit surprised…”

Jaeyoung pressed his finger against Sangwoo’s lips and whispered, “Shh.” His eyes looked more serious than ever before, blinking repeatedly.

“I have a proposal.”

Even though he hadn’t had a chance to listen, Sangwoo’s heart started racing. Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo and took a deep breath. Sangwoo held his breath unknowingly, waiting for the person in front to speak.

“Chu Sangwoo, date me.”

That was an offer that had enough value to wait and see if it was true as soon as he heard it. Sangwoo smiled widely. Although Jaeyoung hadn’t heard the answer yet, that image made his heart tremble with warmth and happiness.

Sangwoo smiled until his lips almost tore, speaking softly.

“I thought we were already dating.”

“Let’s restart and date officially.”

The breath came out rapidly, as if running a long distance, leaving no room for any other words.

“Agreed.”

Jaeyoung raised his face, took a long breath, then snorted and turned away, looking foolish and excited at the same time.

“I’m so excited I thought I was going to die.”

Jaeyoung rubbed his nose roughly before raising his hand and placing his forehead on Sangwoo’s shoulder. The other party took a deep breath in surprise. Then, he held Sangwoo’s hand and placed it on his left chest. Sangwoo could feel the fast and strong heartbeat through the thin T-shirt.

Jang Jaeyoung was a person who was indirect and playful. At the same time, he liked to compare and had a philosophical nature. Sangwoo realized that Jang Jaeyoung mustered the courage to adapt to someone sincere and serious. At the same time, he was straightforward and had a righteous nature like him.

Sangwoo hugged Jaeyoung tightly without saying anything, using his hand to stroke the other’s back repeatedly, sinking into the warm and gentle darkness.

“And…”

Jaeyoung gave Sangwoo a big smile and then raised an eyebrow.

“I have something else to say.”

His opponent’s fingers twitched, and his eyes blinked slowly. Jaeyoung opened his mouth slightly, but then closed it in an instant. The opponent squirmed like a worm once again, appearing to find it difficult to match someone as skilled as himself.

Sangwoo waited patiently, but Jaeyoung kept looking at him for a long time, not getting bored. Sangwoo thought it was fine. At that moment, the other side slowly closed his eyes and hugged him tightly. Jaeyoung rested his chin on Sangwoo’s shoulder, whispering into his ear with a warm breath.

“I love you.”

Jaeyoung murmured softly, barely audible. Sangwoo stopped breathing, his ears tingling, as the sound of crashing waves began to fade into the distance, more and more distant. Only the quick pace of his heart beating, resonating throughout his body, repeated over and over again.

“From the bottom of my heart.”

Jaeyoung whispered once again, with a clearer voice than before. At that moment, Sangwoo finally exhaled, 100% believing the other’s words, with a margin of error of 0%.

“It takes a lot of courage, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm.”

“

Come here, let me hug you.”

Jaeyoung allowed him to embrace quietly, and Sangwoo held the other tightly against his back, clasping his face gently to his neck. Then he whispered softly.

“I never thought it would be like this when we left the house today.”

“How do you feel?”

“My heart was shaken as if it would die. But even though I feel like dying, I still don’t want to die right now… Ah, what did I say just now? I was out of my mind.”

Laughter burst into his ear, inviting relief. Sangwoo chuckled happily as well.

Although it was a situation beyond imaginable boundaries, after meeting Jaeyoung, such things could happen without difficulty.

“Hyung Jaeyoung.”

“Oh.”

“This is my second time having a lover.”

“And?”

“After failing for the first time, I thought I wasn’t very lucky in this area. But if

I learn, I can do well in anything. I’m still new at this, so please teach me.”

“What do you want to learn?”

“How do I love you?”

“If we study this here, it will definitely cause a big issue.”

Sangwoo looked at the overwhelming excitement that filled his heart with unfamiliar eyesight, the sweet atmosphere that resembled a sense of pride in achieving this goal, connecting with someone special, and that point was clearly different from other emotions. He speculated that he might often come across this feeling.

Sangwoo loosened his hug and looked at Jaeyoung’s face, which still looked the same as before, but he felt that everything had changed. Even though the other person didn’t do anything to their face, the corners of Sangwoo’s lips curved into a wide smile. Jaeyoung also had the same expression on his face.

“If you want to date me, pay attention to these three things.”

“It’s already decided that I have to deal with this.”

“From now on, don’t smile at anyone else. Don’t hug anyone else. And don’t touch anyone’s head. The right to look, the right to touch, those belong to me alone.”

“That’s already clear.”

Jaeyoung wrinkled his nose and chuckled like a young boy.

“No matter how angry you are, don’t cut off contact like last time.”

“Hmm, promise.”

The other party reached out a small finger. Sangwoo interlocked their fingers and continued speaking.

“I don’t like being manipulated. Even if I act arrogant, don’t push me around, but please explain it to me slowly.”

“Put the leash on. Now I am yours.”

Jaeyoung put on the leash that couldn’t be seen on his neck and handed it to Sangwoo. Sangwoo held hands and intertwined fingers, looking straight into Jaeyoung’s eyes.

“And… continue studying abroad as planned. Now I have the power to control you. I can endure it.”

Jaeyoung, who used to listen obediently until now, suddenly resisted. Sangwoo desperately desired to be in a relationship with Jaeyoung and have someone by his side, but what was more important was that he hoped the other party would not abandon his dreams. Sangwoo wanted to be a useful partner in all aspects, both as a supporter and a good dealer like Jang Jaeyoung, and wanted to be a developer who helped make Jang Jaeyoung’s designer world

“

come true. He didn’t want to be an obstacle that blocked the other party, even a little bit.

However, Jaeyoung moved closer with a defiant face and whispered in his ear.

“I don’t want to.”

Sangwoo pushed the person in front of him and looked straight into their eyes.

“Don’t act like a little kid.”

“Who said we should call each other little kids.”

“You are changing your life plans because of emotions, you know. I have to set up a stand.”

Jaeyoung laughed, his body laughed silently for a moment before he opened his mouth.

“Do you remember my portfolio?”

“Yes.”

Speaking for myself is quite difficult, but me… I’m not inferior to anyone no matter where I go.”

“I know, but…”

“Right now, even here, there are even vacancies, the company I want to work for, the clients I want to hire, I can choose freely, and in reality, there is also a studio that is interested.”

“And what about it?”

“I am your lover, isn’t it? Just not studying abroad for a while, doesn’t mean

I’ll be completely useless, right?”

Lover. While he was attentively listening, those words made Sangwoo’s mouth hang open in surprise. Jaeyoung crossed his arms and sighed.

“To take care of my lover who is still a student, I must focus on my work and make money.”

It seemed that no matter what he said, the other party probably wouldn’t listen. Sangwoo represented both of them, X and Y trying to think of solutions to various problems, and then stopped thinking. He felt downhearted for a while.

“Hyung Jaeyoung, I have three requests.”

“Feels like I’ve turned into a giant genie.”

Jaeyoung reached out and intertwined his fingers with Sangwoo’s, playing with his thumb.

“First, in this situation, let’s postpone the release date. We have plenty of time. We need to add an unlimited mode, ladder ranking, and special quests.

We should start working on the graphics next week, right?”

“…Is my boyfriend a workaholic or what?”

Sangwoo accepted that remark and moved on to the second request.

“Also, if there’s a DVD of this semester’s drama club performance. I’d like to have it.”

“Of course, you should. I had to participate in the performance, you know.

Why didn’t you come and watch?”

“Don’t even ask. It’s a painful memory.”

“Just the recorded file should be enough?”

“If possible, please give me a Blu-ray.”

Sangwoo, who successfully reached the second request, moved on to the final question.

 

 

Lastly, could you give me some English tutoring?”

“No problem, but why do you need it if you’re studying here?”

“There’s something I need to learn. I’ll tell you later.”

“Curious, aren’t you?”

Jaeyoung smiled and lightly tapped Sangwoo on the cheek without saying anything. He thought it wasn’t time to tell yet. After reevaluating his life plan once again and gaining newfound courage, Sangwoo will return to a place where he no longer feared tomorrow. He sat by the beach with his new love, just the two of them, and the man was massaging Sangwoo’s hand, as if he wanted to touch every line on his palm.

“Just this? Is there nothing else you want?”

“There’s nothing else.”

“That’s normal, I’m ready to give everything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Then can you give me a hug?”

“Oh, that’s not possible.”

“…Why?”

“Because it already belongs to you.”

Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung, who was blushing with admiration. He wondered how the other person could naturally say something like that, it seemed like he had to learn a lot to keep up. Sangwoo was determined that tomorrow he would have to buy a few reference books on dating and understanding emotions.

“Finished talking, then?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go and kiss each other.”

Jaeyoung stood up comfortably on his two lazy feet. Then he bent down and reached out to Sangwoo. As he held the big hand, his body was pulled into the embrace of Jaeyoung’s chest. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly, his arms encircling his waist.

“Why don’t you answer for yourself?”

“…”

“Don’t you want to kiss me?”

“Not just a kiss.”

I mean exactly that.”

“I have to buy a lot of necessary items, a gallon of lube and such. I haven’t had any some-some in a long time.”

“Is this your warning that I won’t be able to sleep tonight?”

“Usually the first night is like that, right?”

The soft laughter sounded delightful. Sangwoo looked up and met  Jaeyoung’s gaze. Then he saw the familiar ripples that flooded deeper than the waves in the sea in those warm-colored eyes. The moment the corners of his mouth curled into a smile, floating along with the heartbeat in his chest.

Jaeyoung swallowed quietly.

Both large and warm hands embraced the neck. Then in the intimate darkness of the night, the soft touch of the sandy beach, the gentle breeze of the hot season, the sound of the crashing waves, and the loud roar of passing ships all drifted far away.

Only one person remained, and that was the most excellent time in

Sangwoo’s life. return 1; [1]  ~, Clearing rewards, ~. 

[Chu Sangwoo] received a nickname [Boyfriend]! 

▷ Learned skill: [Care for him, Level 1.] 

[Jang Jaeyoung] received a nickname, [Boyfriend]! 

▷ Learned skill: [Exercise patience, Level 5.] Move on to the next level…. 

. 

________________________________________. 

[1] return 1; The writer used return 0; before this between a scene because it correctly signifies a complete and error-free program. But if the returned value is not 0, but any other value, it means there is an error, which in this case, signifies Jaeyoung has turned into Sangwoo’s error himself. 

________________________________________. 

The END 

 

 SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 94: #12. 

Suddenly, the sadness that had seized Sangwoo seemed to ease at the corner of his eyes, and a tear flowed down his cheek. Soon, it entered his mouth, causing Jaeyoung’s body to stiffen. Sangwoo didn’t want to see the other person’s face, so he grabbed his own T-shirt and pulled it up, but Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo’s chest away with a tense face.

His trembling finger hesitated, afraid to touch his delicate eyelids. Jaeyoung cautiously used the back of his thumb to wipe the corners of Sangwoo’s eyes, but his deliberate action resulted in the opposite effect.

Damn it… I guess you are crying again.”

“I’m not crying.”

Sangwoo stepped down from the other person’s curve and quickly wiped his face with his shirt sleeve, but the tears that had burst out once did not easily stop.

“No, today is not a sad day.”

“I said I didn’t cry a little bit.”

Every word that the other party spoke, instead of calming him down, made his sadness flow even more. Silent cries turned into soft sobs.

“What should I do to make you stop crying? Can I cry with you?”

Jaeyoung gently pats Sangwoo’s cheek with one hand, tapping the screen of his phone a few times with a face that didn’t seem right before yelling at the opposite party, who he didn’t know was who. “You guys bastard, don’t you know how to work?”

“I really want to go crazy.”

While the other party spoke to himself and hugged his body, the accumulated sadness burst out. While Sangwoo cried, Jaeyoung didn’t say a word. His hand, which still held the warm cheek, felt like it was being electrocuted. At the same time, he embraced Sangwoo. While the right shoulder of Jaeyoung became wet every time, it moved closer. Sangwoo cried loudly without embarrassment.

The arm that used to hold Sangwoo tightly seemed to gently suffocate his shoulders when it first lay down, without realizing it. The wet right hand still touched Sangwoo’s cheek, using the fingertips and the base of the thumb to gently stroke the eyelids, eyebrows, and bridge of the nose.

“It’s so hot.”

The other person’s fingers, palm, chest, arms, and every point where the skin touched, all felt hot. Tears welled up at the edge of his eyes and flowed through his cheeks. Sweat made the clothes stick to his arms. Blood circulated through his body. Everything felt boiling and evaporated when he released his body with the warmth that made his consciousness fade away and relaxed his eyelids. Everything felt better, everything that used to hold on began to drift away, like waves washing away the sand and then retreating.

“Is sadness that big?”

After a moment, Jaeyoung asked, and the other party’s soft finger slipped into the tailbone and gently touched the damp hair, giving a pleasant feeling like a summer breeze. Sangwoo leaned his weight on Jaeyoung’s shoulder and answered back softly.

“It’s okay now.”

“Are you sane now?”

“That thing has been missing for a long time. If I were conscious, I wouldn’t have liked someone like you from the beginning.”

“There is a reason for what I said. Maybe I can’t be conscious again.”

Jaeyoung released his tight embrace. Then he lifted Sangwoo’s chin, using his thumb to wipe the moisture on the corner of his cheek before meeting each other’s gaze.

“It looks like finally we’re ready to talk.”

The faint, hazy voice whispered softly. Although he didn’t know what the other party would say, Sangwoo paused. Jaeyoung spoke while their faces were apart, close enough for the tips of their noses to touch.

“Have you figured out the answer to the homework given before?”

Is it about that again? Even though he had been contemplating it many times, Sangwoo wasn’t sure if he would answer correctly.

“It’s too difficult. I don’t know.”

“We’ve come this far and you still don’t know? I don’t know if you’re a genius or just a fool.”

“I’m a fool.”

Based on today, it’s most likely.”

Sangwoo took a deep breath, not thinking of denying it but feeling that he should explain the reason why he failed to complete his homework. He looked into Jaeyoung’s eyes, which partly opened his mouth.

“The fact that you’re going to leave isn’t the problem. I just need to be confident. I can endure it for a year or two. This feeling couldn’t happen to anyone else because until now, it has never happened before.” Sangwoo adjusted his breathing and continued speaking.

“But maybe you won’t be there anymore. You might become more popular, more attractive, change your phone number, have a girlfriend, and not want to see me anymore. Even if I say not to do that, it probably won’t be beneficial.”

After hearing everything, Jaeyoung just laughed as if he was having fun. The other party stared into Sangwoo’s eyes before kissing his forehead. That was Sangwoo’s favorite action. The second the soft lips separated from his forehead, he felt a tinge of regret. After that, Jaeyoung opened his mouth to speak.

“Have you ever heard that story about a person turning into a tree because they love trees too much?”

“I am just hearing it for the first time.”

“Well, I guess that’s how it is because I just got engaged a while ago.”

“What is it?”

“I wonder if you talked so much about backhoes until it turned into actual excavators.”

The direction of the conversation was becoming increasingly difficult to understand. Sangwoo looked a little confused as he waited to hear what the other person would say next.

“It’s time to stop doing useless things, isn’t it?”

Although their feelings for each other were passionately intense, it was still seen as something useless. He knew very well that Jaeyoung didn’t really mean anything, but he thought the other person had gone too far.

“It’s cute, but it’s also annoying at the same time.”

“What does that mean?”

“Look at it from a normal person’s perspective. The first kiss on the day you came to find me to play a game, the next day we talked and started dating, the first date was that weekend. We had sex and started living together, we spent time…”

Jaeyoung stopped talking and looked away before smiling and looking back at Sangwoo.

“I won’t say that it was a waste of time, because everything was so good and that means I can go on more dates with you. And how many more times will we have sex, you like it, right?”

“That’s right. I really have too little time. I’m sorry.”

“There will be plenty of time next. What’s there to be afraid of?”

Sangwoo frowned, they had less than a month left, but Jaeyoung said something strange while he prepared to argue. The other side laid their hand on his shoulder. Jaeyoung tapped Sangwoo’s head and spoke.

“The answer to the homework is, ‘I’m right here beside you’, you know?”

“…”

“You tend to just give up, isn’t it?”

Sangwoo pursed his lips, but no words escaped. Easy, right? It wasn’t easy for him at all. When considering the possibilities of hope, suitability, and usefulness. That’s something he couldn’t say decisively.

Jaeyoung looked into Sangwoo’s eyes with a curious gaze.

“At least try to say it now. Then I’ll consider your answer.”

“…I can’t do it.”

Hurry up.”

“I can’t.”

“You stubborn kid. I thought you would have softened up by now, but you’re still the same.”

The hand that was once placed on his head slid down to his chin and lifted his face. Then Jaeyoung removed his hand from Sangwoo’s face and picked up his phone from his pants pocket again. He complained, “Damn weirdo. I sent an email to you. You didn’t even think about replying.” And then suddenly widened his eyes. “Oh… it’s here.”

“What is it?”

Jaeyoung didn’t respond and just stared at the screen almost piercingly. Sangwoo sneakily looked through as well, wanting to know and see, and found that it was an email in English. He guessed it was about the other party’s study abroad. Jaeyoung quickly scrolled down to read the content before blurting out a curse word.

“TOE-I.”

Sangwoo snatched the phone from the other party’s hand and read each line of the message.

‘Your request, which we rejected. We apologize. The applicant is an excellent student. We understand, but it’s a pity. Attending our school is not possible if his language skills have not been certified by your university. He needs to have the language skills necessary for his studies and we have difficulties in changing our required conditions for an exchange student. We hope you understand…’[2.] 

Sangwoo interpreted the message without conscience before understanding its meaning in an instant. As he scrolled down, he found the full version of the message that Jaeyoung wrote, inquiring about exchange students, along with a game development portfolio, English language proficiency certification, and academic transcripts attached.

The receiver’s email belonged to a foreign university that Sangwoo himself knew, an engineering university in the same state as Jaeyoung’s college. Despite not being in contact, both of them independently searched for the same solution. This is evidence that Jaeyoung worried and tried to stay with Sangwoo. Even though the outcome may fail, Sangwoo’s heart beats strongly as if it has been authorized to never separate from the other party.

Jaeyoung lowered his head and peered at the floor before lifting his face back up. Their eyes met again, with no expectations or disappointments. The other party remained expressionless.

“Good, clear.”

Then the other party moved closer and sat facing him. Jaeyoung answered his phone and put it in his bag before looking into Sangwoo’s eyes with a serious expression. Sangwoo spoke first.

“I have something to say.”

“No, you’ve said enough. I’ve had enough of it.”

Jaeyoung firmly denied and placed both hands on Sangwoo’s shoulder.

“The email you saw… came from the engineering faculty of the state university where I went to study. Our university keeps repeating that if you don’t have a TOEIC score, we can’t apply for an exchange student program. So I contacted them directly, but it didn’t work out. I thought that if I could, I would give up everything and follow you in July.”

Sangwoo listened with a pounding heart before lifting his face in an instant.

There was one phrase that he had thought about and couldn’t let it pass.

“You… went to study abroad?”

The voice that came out was trembling. Jaeyoung coordinated his hand and touched Sangwoo’s forehead with his own until their hair touched.

Your two-week exam period was just a trial version for me. If I could stand it, I thought I would try to stay far away. But I didn’t actually do it, I don’t even know how many times I went to your house.”

“Did you come over?”

“Eleven times. And I wore a hoodie to go to class with you three times.”

“Don’t joke around, there’s no way I wouldn’t remember.”

“Well, I don’t see you remembering. I attended Professor Pororo’s class twice, and on the day of the algorithm presentation, I sat behind you. I was a bit frustrated that I wanted to hear your voice, but then there was a crazy guy who knew where he came from and presented instead.”

This was the most unbelievable thing Jaeyoung had ever said. Sangwoo looked into the other party’s eyes with suspicion, thinking that he might be joking, but Jaeyoung’s face remained tense.

“That’s not the point… Are you not going to continue studying? Again?”

“I can’t leave you.”

“What does that mean? It’s not like that.”

Sangwoo sighed and tried to step back. Jaeyoung held onto his arms tightly.

“You know, what if there’s some crazy guy who didn’t graduate and comes chasing after you? What if you go help someone and that person ends up falling in love with you? What if you accidentally bump into someone and that guy comes to stab you? What if someone finds out about your existence?

What am I supposed to do then?”

“I don’t think speaking like this will solve anything. Why don’t you have any common sense?”

“I’ve always been like this, and after meeting you, it has become even worse.

I take responsibility for it.”

“Calm down, hyung…”

“I can’t calm down, the time difference is fourteen hours. When I wake up in the morning, it’s already your bedtime. I can’t contact you all day, and by the time you wake up, it’s already midnight. You have to go to school, you have to study, so there’s no way for me to contact you, and I just want to know desperately if you’re doing okay, if anything happened. Did anyone come to talk to you?”

“Video call… we can do that.”

“The phone doesn’t really work, what’s the point of talking about video calls? I guess I’ll miss you alone. And then, at some point, it will explode. And if I ask if you’ve changed, if you still like me, you’ll probably get mad and say, ‘Isn’t this enough?’ ‘It’s disturbing my studies.’ ‘I think it’s a waste of time.’ And then you’ll probably block my number.”

“…That’s not possible.”

Jaeyoung spoke passionately for a while before stopping, keeping his mouth shut for a moment before looking up. He then rubbed his hands on his face and glanced at him again.

“I’ll make it clear, I’m giving up studying abroad because of you.”

“It’s not necessary…”

“Don’t interrupt and listen until the end, and then respond when you understand.”

Sangwoo closed his mouth, needing to listen before making a decision on what to answer, while he thought like that. Jaeyoung held his cheeks with both hands, his eyes showing seriousness. Sangwoo could feel his heart pounding heavily, swallowing nervously.

“Chu Sangwoo.”

“… Yes.”

“I don’t want to be your sex partner anymore.”

________________________________________.

 

 

[1] Useless. In Korean, the word is “삽질” (sap-jil), which literally means 

“digging with a hoe.” It implies doing something useless, working in vain, like digging and getting nothing in return. Just exhausting. 

[2]. Sangwoo reads email absentmindedly, so the sentence is fragmented. 

 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 93: #11. 

After crossing the sea barrier, there was a long sandy beach covered in darkness during the evening. On the beach, there were dark waves that came and went, and the dark sky was filled with unseen stars, unlike in Seoul. There were no convenience stores around, only a few small gas pumps and rundown hotels.

There was a sound of a car door opening from behind, followed by the sound of footsteps coming closer. There was nowhere to escape now… Sangwoo stood still, feeling a genuine sense of fear, but Jaeyoung walked past him. The other person walked naturally with his hands in his pockets, as if he was just wandering around.

Jaeyoung walked on the sandy beach where the sea grass grew quietly, until he reached a point where the waves washed in before receding back. He picked up a stone from the ground and threw it far into the sea. Then he stood still, looking up at the silent sky.

Sangwoo stood still, not moving, watching the other person. The stars that

Sangwoo liked the most in the world shone brighter amidst the darkness without streetlights.

Jaeyoung continued to walk on the beach before kneeling on the sand. Then he flicked a lighter and moved it to the end of the cigarette held between his fingers. The strong wind blew, causing Jaeyoung’s jacket to flutter, and also blowing into Sangwoo’s black t-shirt. Sangwoo felt cold and coughed twice.

When he lifted his gaze again, he found that Jaeyoung was looking back at him, but it was too dark to see the other person’s face clearly. The feeling of wanting to see Jaeyoung, the desire to capture the other person’s face in his memory, came rushing in. So Sangwoo took a step back.

As he stepped onto the sturdy and descending stairs, his sneakers sank into the dry sand. He took a few steps closer to the red back panel, and when he saw him, he felt the urge to hug him from behind. But Sangwoo chose to sit one meter away from the other person and meditated, looking at the radiating light along the horizon. At that moment, something brushed against his knee, it was Jaeyoung’s coat.

“Put it on.”

Jaeyoung, who was now left with only a white T-shirt, puffed cigarette smoke into the sky and smirked. Sangwoo threw the red jacket back to the other side, but it came back again within five seconds. They had done this three times before Jaeyoung muttered nonchalantly.

“Do you mean for me to wear it?”

“No.”

Sangwoo slid his arm into the sleeve of the shirt before the other side could react. Jaeyoung glanced at him briefly before saying. “Just take the shirt. It’s the same whether it’s red or white.” Sangwoo did not respond.

Suddenly, the sound of solids hitting liquids and the loud alarm of the ship replaced the silence. Sangwoo felt a sense of emptiness. Even though Jaeyoung was sitting beside him, he felt unfamiliar, like someone who had gone far away.

He was afraid of everything, from the waves that crashed in front of him and receded, to the sea that he couldn’t know what was inside, to the darkness that made his senses confused.

“It’s great, I wanted to travel with you. And now there’s a chance to travel like this.”

Although they were in the same situation, they thought differently, as if every factor that triggered Sangwoo’s anxiety became romantic and beautiful for Jaeyoung. Sangwoo smiled slightly, thinking that such a positive outlook on the world suited the other person. When he turned to look straight ahead again, the scenery had changed slightly.

Unsettled waves crashed in and receded, a deep sea abyss that one couldn’t know what was inside, a wondrous darkness that made his senses confused.

Sangwoo was overwhelmed by Jaeyoung.

His heart beat fast and reminded him of that truth, the trembling and anxiety, the happiness and despair, the joy and sadness, and the multitude of emotions that couldn’t go along together were mixed within his heart. Before this moment, Sangwoo had no idea that our emotions could be so complex.

“May I have a cigarette, please?”

Those words escaped according to emotions. Sangwoo used to think that people relying on alcohol or cigarettes were signs of weakness, now he seems to know why people crave for such things.

“It’s not good for the body.”

Of course, Sangwoo laughed mockingly when he heard that answer. He himself smokes every day, but when he asked for a puff in return, he seemed surprised.

“Give it to me.”

Jaeyoung took a cigarette out of his pants pocket and lit it before handing it to Sangwoo. Sangwoo took the cigarette and looked at it for a moment before putting it in his mouth unnaturally.

He took a cautious breath, but didn’t feel any noticeable effect as smoke came out of his mouth. But if that’s all, he couldn’t understand why people get addicted to it. Jaeyoung noticed Sangwoo’s expression and suggested.

“You have to take a deep drag.”

Sangwoo took a deep breath through his nose as instructed before coughing because of the sharp sensation, then he kept coughing uncontrollably. He heard Jaeyoung laugh softly as tears almost streamed down. Sangwoo calmed down and looked at the cigarette that had been reduced from smoking.

“I’m not addicted at all. It’s just not good for anything.”

“If a college kid heard you, they’d cry.”

Sangwoo didn’t respond, he looked around for a trash can to throw away the cigarette. As soon as Sangwoo was about to stand up, Jaeyoung extended his hand.

“Give it to me, I’ll dispose of it myself.”

He could only stare at that big hand. So the other side added.

“I have a hobby of collecting cigarette butts.”

“Liar, you’re just making excuses.”

That hand moved closer and grabbed the cigarette in Sangwoo’s hand.

Jaeyoung looked intently at Sangwoo as he put the cigarette between his lips.

Then he smiled with his eyes.

“Kissing indirectly, my heart is pounding.”

Sangwoo forgot even the sadness and laughter he had given with those meaningless words. Jaeyoung flicked the cigarette on the sand before letting the silence take over.

Sangwoo wrote down various words before erasing them. He had so much to say to Jaeyoung, but he couldn’t randomly blurt out four or five words. While sitting there with conflicting feelings in his heart, the sound of a horn blared three times, and the waves crashed twenty-five times. As the gray clouds hung over the moon, causing the world to darken even more, he spoke up, softly.

“Hyung, you’re strange, unpredictable. You don’t care about time. You don’t know how to control your thoughts, and sometimes, you can be terrifying when angry.”

“…”

“Even though I know all that, I still like you.”

As soon as he blurted it out, his strangely relieved heart relaxed. Jaeyoung didn’t say anything and just sat silently, gazing at the sea. There was no reaction whatsoever. Sangwoo stared at the waves, feeling like he could manage his feelings after saying everything. If he explained the situation in detail, Jaeyoung would understand. Once he made his decision, he felt a surge of courage.

“I don’t like just anyone like you do. And if I do like someone once, I won’t hate them either, even though I’ve never felt that way about a human before.”

If he thought about the future, it would only be filled with speculation. But, at present, Sangwoo didn’t feel bad because Jaeyoung was sitting next to him, despite the fact that his heart was pounding as if there was a dangerous situation approaching, along with the heat radiating from his skin and the sweat oozing from his hands, all signs of a single action.

“At first, I thought you were defective… an error.”

“…What?”

“Even though I didn’t like it that much, now I don’t dislike it anymore. Both you and my own self who likes you.”

It was strange that, at this moment, he didn’t care about the truth that liking a man was a waste of time, and the truth that the other party would leave soon, because even if he said there were no black sheep, it didn’t make them disappear, Sangwoo’s heart was pounding with a brave feeling.

He did not understand the emotions he had experienced for the first time for a long time, until he realized its existence. He tried to deny it, but now he knows its identity well… Sangwoo did not overlook and did not despise the strange creature that had grown so much that it could control him again.

“I am very tired. But this is not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault that I like you… It’s just a little wrong.”

He spoke with a trembling voice. As soon as he met Jaeyoung, he felt a hundred emotions, both insecure and ineffective. At the same time, after the joy came the inevitable shadows of sadness and pain, but even so, right now, Sangwoo was not sorry at all, his happiness expanded greatly, radiantly bright, causing his decision-making ability to become blind, and his chest filled with overwhelming emotions, so he did not hesitate to pay any compensation.

“What is called love… was it always like this?”

Jaeyoung, who sat still without flinching, lowered his gaze. Sangwoo then took a deep breath and asked.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“No, quite the opposite. I just remembered the three-line verse that you composed.”

“That kind of thing, I can’t remember.”

“S… Suddenly it started to rain. I… It’s terrible to meet like this. Yo… It would be better not to show up again. How did you forget about this masterpiece?”

Jaeyoung recited that beautiful and elegant verse, with a dignified posture as if it were an excellent poem. Sangwoo couldn’t help but laugh. Although he felt like the sincere visual words he had spoken had been swallowed up by the swirling waves, he still felt good now.

“Back then, you gave me a low score. How is it now?”

“Hmm…”

Jaeyoung tapped his chin with his finger and frowned as if he was thinking deeply, while the concentrated gaze of the other party was on Sangwoo’s face.

“10 out of 10, wholeheartedly. Give it a 10.”

When he saw his mischievous face, he felt as if he was traveling back in time to when he was walking to the library. Sangwoo waited for the next sentence with a mix of longing and sadness, accompanied by suppressed laughter.

“Very interesting, a perfect 10.”

 

 

Why is my heart so wide?”

“Cuteness, handsomeness, attractiveness, sexiness… all a perfect 10.”

“…What is that?”

“With a total of fifty million points.”

“Why calculate like that? And why is it so new?”

“Um… let’s skip that issue. As a poet’s son, it’s kind of…”

“Really bad.”

Jaeyoung laughed mischievously.

Although he felt annoyed at the other party crossing the line with hidden messages, Sangwoo found it strange that he felt so drawn to it. Suddenly, Sangwoo strongly felt the urge to reach out.

“Come here, please.”

Jaeyoung crawled on his knees to meet him, as if he had been waiting. Sangwoo’s hand, floating in the air, landed softly on the messy hair that was blown by the wind. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear before gently caressing it.

The shell of Jaeyoung’s eyes shifted slowly, the deep and captivating gaze veiled the light before revealing itself again. His serious face made it hard to tell what he was thinking, but Sangwoo was certain of one thing: the overwhelming feeling that overflowed from those eyes was similar to how he felt. The thread of their gazes seemed intertwined.

As their noses touched, Jaeyoung’s eyes gradually closed. Big and warm hands rose up to his back and wrapped around his neck, slowly pulling Sangwoo’s face closer. Their lips opened simultaneously, their kisses suppressing and sucking on each other without hesitation or tenderness. It was only a momentary rush and passion.

‘This might be the last time.’ 

Sangwoo reluctantly accepted the rough intrusion of Jaeyoung’s tongue into his mouth and fought with himself. What good would kissing each other do now? No matter how tightly he hugged the other person’s back. No matter how forcefully he fought against the aggressive intrusion of the other person’s tongue, he knew that it was useless.

However, Jaeyoung taught him that. Even if the radiant light lasted only for a moment before fading away, it still held value. If it was beautiful, if the nerves tingle in excitement, if it was present and shining, in this moment that would not return.

‘Even if it’s the last time, it’s okay.’ 

Sangwoo closed his eyes tightly and pressed himself against Jaeyoung, full of emotions. The more painful his heart became, the more passionately he kissed. He wanted to get closer than this. More than this, he wanted their bodies to touch, to know once again that he had ascended to the curve of the other person’s body… Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly in his arms, sweeping his tongue all over his mouth, breathing heavily, saliva mixed with sweat streaming down to his chin. Sangwoo awakened the nerves, memorized the sound of Jaeyoung’s breathing in his ear, and stored the temperature of the other person’s skin on his own.

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

SMNTCERR, Chapter 92: #10. 

   They finished packing the items in the house at around one o’clock. Then they took the elevator down, after stuffing two shopping bags in the back of the car and the back seat, which were already packed with boxes and rice. Sangwoo sat in the driver’s seat and fastened his seatbelt, waiting for the safety pin. Then the car set off.

   “Pinpoint the location on navigation.”

   “I’ve been there many times… No need to use it.”

   “Okay.”

   Sangwoo closed his mouth and looked out of the window with a vague feeling. Although the cause of his sadness was just within reach, it was still hard to believe that he couldn’t do anything at all.

   ‘I am just a fool who can’t do anything.’ 

   He did everything he could to try to solve this problem. Even though his mother said that failure was also a good experience, he didn’t want to fail, so he tried his best throughout. Jang Jaeyoung is the only flaw in Sangwoo, an unbeatable test, an unsolvable problem, an error that cannot be found no matter how much it is searched for. Sangwoo is learning to fail for the first time in his life.

   As he sat quietly, the unfamiliar scenery outside the window passed by quickly. Then he saw the university, and ever since then, it has been a familiar path, a path he cycled to the university regularly. He began to feel uneasy, as if something was not right. Sangwoo stared out the window for a moment, but the car didn’t deviate from the familiar path.

   “Hyung, what is the address of the new house?”

   “Eunmyong Street, Alley 17.”

   “It’s near my house.”

   “You can say that.”

   ‘Ass.’

   Sangwoo pondered in his heart. If Jaeyoung is living nearby, he would have to worry every time he goes out, even to the supermarket, whether he would meet him or not, wasting both time and emotions. Even though Sangwoo is dissatisfied, it does not mean he can violate someone else’s right to move. So he can only calm down the complex emotions inside him.

   Meanwhile, the car did not deviate from the path that Sangwoo knew well, making him uneasy. When the car was on the main road and turned right, he turned to glance at Jaeyoung without realizing it, but there were no traces on his unemotional face.

   Finally, the car entered a narrow alley, and Sangwoo blinked his eyes, unable to express his feelings, then alternated his gaze between Jaeyoung and the apartment building.

   “Is it here?”

   “Yes.”

   “Which room?”

   “402.”

   “Who gave permission? Crazy guy!”

   Understanding the situation, Sangwoo reacted immediately. While he tried to forget the other party and find a way to move on with his life after they were gone, Jang Jaeyoung did what he wanted without thinking, exploding with emotions. At the same time, the anger and sadness that he had suppressed and pretended not to have also erupted. Sangwoo turned to face Jaeyoung with a twisted face.

   “Why do you do things your way?”

   “I have nowhere else to go, so just let me stay.”

   “You have so many friends, so don’t lie.”

   “Among all those people, there is no one I want to be with.”

   “Say something meaningful, go to a hotel. Don’t create trouble for others!”  “Sangwooya.”

   “Don’t call, don’t call my name with such a sweet tone. Don’t pretend to be a good person, don’t smile, don’t do any of that!”

   Even though he may rant and complain, Jaeyoung just listens silently. Even though it should alternate normally, the disease that controls anger doesn’t have to be transmitted.

   “I know what you’re going to say, but wait until tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything then.”

   “Do you know? You won’t know how I avoid emotions… And still make others scared like a county sheriff. And then after that, my everyday life will probably collapse again! No, it will collapse to the point where I don’t even know how it will collapse!”

   Strange. Even though Sangwoo is angry to the point where his veins in his neck bulge, the corners of Jaeyoung’s mouth just curl up, still giving something to laugh about. Sangwoo is furious to the extreme.

   “Hey. Jang Jaeyoung.”

   “Sometimes I may not be a sadist, but a masochist…”

   “You stay here, I’ll go myself.”

   Sangwoo unlocked the car door and closed it forcefully as if to destroy it before stomping his feet through the glass door, then went up the stairs while unlocking the door to the room. Jaeyoung followed behind, entered the room without caring and walked straight to pull out a travel bag from the corner and slammed it onto the floor.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Did I not tell you not to call me like that?”

   “Listen to everything I say first before getting angry, it’s not too late yet, don’t make things more complicated.”

   Sangwoo assessed the other party’s words. Then he stuffed whatever clothes he could grab into his bag, grabbed the underwear in the drawer, followed by grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom and threw it on the clothes. There were still many things left to pack, but he closed the bag lock roughly. He thought about the most important computer, but he didn’t feel like dealing with it and separating its components.

   As he turned around, he found Jaeyoung standing in front of the door. Sangwoo grabbed the handle of his travel bag and stared at the other party angrily. Jaeyoung showed no sign of anger or amusement, just stood still with an expressionless face that couldn’t reveal anything inside, Sangwoo’s chest moved quickly, and he gritted his teeth and spoke.

   “Back off.”

   “No.”

   “I told you to back off.”

   “Time’s up, I can’t wait any longer.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “I’m afraid my grades will drop because of you. So, I thought I would wait until the end of the exam, but now I don’t plan to wait anymore, not even for one more day.”

   “I’m ready to fight. If you don’t want that handsome face of yours to have scars, then back off.”

   “Oh, is that so?”

   Sangwoo pulled the bag towards the other party, but Jaeyoung just looked down without trying to defend himself, and put his hands in his pockets. It didn’t look like the posture of someone who intended to fight. Jaeyoung took off his glasses and placed them on the shoe cabinet.

   “Come at me, I’ll let you hit me, and then we can talk.”

   It seemed like the other party was thinking about whether to speak such words. Sangwoo couldn’t tolerate it, the confidence in the immovable reaction of the other party turned into fuel for anger. Sangwoo let go of his travel bag and clenched his fists, but after that, he didn’t know what else to do, so he just stood still, a sculpture ready to harm the opposite party as heavy as a stone, but difficult to lift.

   “We already have no way out, right?”

   Sangwoo canceled the power option. At the same time, he felt suffocated and exhausted. Even though Jaeyoung did whatever he pleased and even threatened him, including the last remaining safe zone, he had no way to stop the other side, not even one way.

   “Close your eyes.”

   “Why?”

   “Just close them.”

   Despite the calm expression, Jaeyoung followed the instructions. Sangwoo looked at the image of the other party, thinking that this would be the last time. He looked at the beautiful boy from head to toe with eyes full of pity, wanting more than anything in the world, but he couldn’t possess it. He knew that very well.

   ‘I miss you so much.’ 

   Sangwoo struggled in his heart before swiftly intruding through Jaeyoung, quickly unlocking the door. While Jaeyoung turned around, he pulled himself out and closed the door again. After the automatic lock closed once, there would be a momentary delay, and he took advantage of that time to run down the stairs like crazy.

   When he heard the sound of the door opening again, Sangwoo had already reached the second floor. Jaeyoung shouted for him to stop. Sangwoo heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. At the same time, he ran out of the building and straight towards the main road.

   “Hey, crazy guy. Chu Sangwoo!”

   Sangwoo didn’t turn around to look. He opened the door of the parked taxi and sat in the passenger seat. Jaeyoung ran out of the alley, the image of the other party getting closer quickly.

   “Lock all the doors.”

   The sound of the doors locking echoed as Sangwoo commanded, and all four doors of the car were locked. Jaeyoung, who arrived a little late, pulled the door handle and even tried to hit the window with his fist, but it was useless.

   Sangwoo turned his face the other way. Refusing to look at the other party.

   “Aren’t you coming down again?”

   The distant voice heard through the window.

   “Where would I go? Just knowing is enough.”

   When he didn’t care, the screaming became louder. Jaeyoung shouted and smashed his sculpture against the car.

   “I asked where you want to go.”

   The taxi driver looked a little confused. Sangwoo took a breath and asked the other party.

   “Actually, I don’t know where to go.”

   “Huh?”

   “I mean anywhere is fine. Please just let me out of the car first.”

   “Understood.”

   After the car slowly exited, Sangwoo looked out the window to capture the image of Jaeyoung one last time, but no matter where he looked, he couldn’t find the person who used to cause chaos in front of the window. Sangwoo wondered, but the driver’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

   “Then should I drive around for about thirty minutes and come back to the same place?”

   “No, please go somewhere else. You go ahead and drive. I need to think for about ten minutes.”

   Sangwoo sighed. While he was considering various headache-inducing matters, such as where to go, what to do with the burden left in the room, what to do with the unretrieved data on the computer, and how to attend class, he saw a familiar car in the rearview mirror. It was a white hatchback with a red-tinted roof and windows. Sangwoo thought he was mistaken and turned around to look closely, but even the license plate numbers matched.

   “That crazy guy!”

   He thought about staying and resting, stopping before being overwhelmed and breaking down again in a month, but it seemed that Jaeyoung didn’t see the situation because he prioritized the present, his own desires being the top priority, and had to do everything he wanted. Sangwoo gritted his teeth. “Please keep a distance from the car with the license plate 7285, over there.” As he pointed with his thumb, the taxi driver burst into laughter.

   “Have you watched too many movies?”

   “No.”

   Sangwoo expected the taxi driver to drive faster, but the taxi stopped at the bus stop instead. Then it parked smoothly in front of the zebra crossing, the license plate number 7285, moving to the left side of the taxi and stopping before lowering the windows. Jaeyoung struggled to say something, but Sangwoo turned to face the taxi driver.

   “Please help me get on the expressway so that car doesn’t catch up.”

   “But I think I’ll quit my job in half an hour.”

   “I’ll pay double the fare.”

   “Come on, let’s go.”

   The taxi driver’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. Sangwoo had just managed to buckle his seatbelt by now and leaned back fully, not knowing that the chase would continue for another two hours.

   return 0;.

   The taxi driver, who stopped at every red light and maintained the speed as prescribed by the law, deserved recognition as a law-abiding and respectful person. However, in terms of responding to the customer’s request, Sangwoo asked the other driver to speed up twice, but instead of creating distance, the taxi just drove parallel to Jaeyoung’s slow car.

   They then left the Seoul area and arrived at the East Sea after standing as competitors. The boxy car with a red lid ran alongside the taxi for two hours as the stubborn driver opened the window and waved casually, making Sangwoo very annoyed.

   “Young man, these days having friends who care is a good thing now. Do not argue anymore, I’ll drop you off at the beach, you can exchange punches in a manly way or whatever.”

   “I told you, we’re not friends.”

   Over the course of two hours, the taxi driver continuously hinted for Sangwoo to get out of the car from a distance.

   “That’s enough, that young man, I think even if we reached the edge of the green sky, he’d still be following us.”

   That’s a hard statement to refuse. In Sangwoo’s eyes, he never thought Jaeyoung would give up, even if he escaped further, he knew, but he was still stubborn, he didn’t want to face the other party. He didn’t want to talk face to face.

   The taxi driver looked at Sangwoo expectantly.

   “So, should I park here?”

   “…Understood.”

   Sangwoo concluded that it was pointless to continue. As soon as the person driving the taxi pressed the ‘Double’ button, the fare skyrocketed. Sangwoo tried not to look at the unrealistic amount and paid with a card. As soon as he got out of the taxi, it quickly drove away. Then Sangwoo stood still, feeling the wind in a place he had just visited for the first time, looking at an unfamiliar scenery. 

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