SMNTCERR, Chapter 73: <1001> #1.

[9.                I want to have sex with someone who is in a relationship.]

‘Not to that extent, it’s still illegal.’

[10.           Can’t stand not having sex even for a day.]

‘You can endure for a day.’

[11.           Can’t overcome sexual desire to the point of buying sexual services.]

‘There is no way. Besides, it’s illegal.’

[12.           Strongly desire to have kinky sex.]

‘…’

The standard for the word “kinky” is not clear, so it is difficult to answer “yes” or “no”. Sangwoo had to skip that part and read the rest.

If there are behaviors that match the twenty questions, it is considered a sex addiction, but there are only five questions that match him completely, and that is “thinking about sex often to the point of feeling cramped in daily life.”

‘So you’re not addicted to sex.’

He thinks about it almost all the time to the point he is wondering if he has a mental condition, but no matter how he tries to test himself, if the results are as clear as this, it probably isn’t true, at least he can breathe a sigh of relief.

Sangwoo thinks.

Sangwoo puts his phone in his backpack and sits quietly, yesterday’s events slowly bubbling up in his mind. He worked in the office with the other party and then Jaeyoung had to go back home before it got too late because a car broke down. After helping him with his luggage, they almost parted ways, but ended up arguing in front of the building. Then they suddenly kissed and they got horny and had to go back upstairs to quench the arousal. They kept doing that arousal quenching non stop all night until almost morning, so Sangwoo slept late and today he almost missed his class, “Embedded System,” his major.

‘You have to make your desires clear. Sangwoo, this sentence has no object.’

Jaeyoung tends to be slightly different at different times, not always consistent. Some days he speaks less, some days he acts softer, and some days he acts rougher. He doesn’t choose which one is better, but what’s not good is when the other party is intentionally teasing. Yesterday, Jaeyoung played until he made Sangwoo gasp and accidentally put his hand on the glasses that were placed near the bed. When it was almost dark, he saw that the frame was broken in half, and no matter how he asked about the price, the other party didn’t answer.

Sangwoo sits with his chin in his hand, lost in thought about the face that is both tempting and provocative at the same time, when the door suddenly opens.

“Oops, sorry! Sunbae.” the male student suddenly appears and gasps for breath. Sangwoo just realized that he was sitting in the conference room for a meeting. When he looked at the clock, he found that he was seven minutes late.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice.

“Uh, sorry! I was riding my bike and fell on the way here. I know it may sound like an excuse. I should have come out faster…”

It seems that the other party is not lying, the elbow that protrudes from the shirt sleeve is scratched until it bleeds.

“If it hurts a lot, go to the hospital first.”

“Really? It’s not necessary… I’m fine,” the male student said.

The male student sat opposite Sangwoo and wiped his sweat with the back of his hand. Sangwoo looks at the notebook that was left open and picks up a pen.

“Then let’s get started. I propose the topic of presenting the algorithm of the game ‘Makom.’ If you don’t like it, you can suggest another topic.” “Uh…wait a minute,” the other party said.

The other party rummages through his bag and takes out a crumpled piece of paper and a pen. He writes the word “Makom” in the middle in large letters.

“We don’t have much time now. Is this topic not too complicated? I’m just thinking about cabinets, ATMs, myself…”

“That matter is too simple, we won’t get good scores. And it’s just a decoy.”

“…Okay. Just speak your mind.”

Sangwoo presented a mini-project on “Algorithm” as a pair of works for the class. Although there was another member, Sangwoo did not expect much and thought of doing it alone.

“Do you know that if we actually create a program, we can get extra points?”

“Don’t tell me you’ll do it?”

“Of course, isn’t it?”

I think it might be difficult… So let’s start with making a tic-tac-toe board first. Um… do you have a plan?”

“We can create the initial values of the tic-tac-toe board by arranging them in order and dividing the values according to the size of the cells. And every time we change the round, we have to check two diagonal lines, vertical and horizontal lines, 3×3 management, complexity, but…”

Sangwoo looked at the face of the male student and spoke.

“I’ll handle it myself.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Just wait for me to send the program, you focus on the schedule for dynamic schedule [1]. Then organize the process, we should talk about memoization [2] and recursive functions [3], and we need a table. I’ll send the program to you by midnight on Sunday, so please give me your email address.”

The male student quickly wrote down what Sangwoo said and handed him the email address with both hands.

“I may not be good at programming like you, but I will take responsibility for analyzing and presenting everything myself.”

Can he be trusted? Sangwoo looked at the other party with suspicion before turning back, because if they didn’t do well, he could just do it alone.

He wrote down his responsibilities and those of the other party in his notebook. Now there was only one task left to deal with, which was data presentation.

“I’ll handle the PowerPoint myself.”

Sangwoo spoke confidently. Although he didn’t have artistic talent, he could still make a decent PowerPoint. After writing his name in the presentation section, there was nothing left to discuss at the meeting. He put the notebook back in his bag along with the pencil case and then the box before standing up.

Just as he was about to leave, the male student called out to him.

Um… Sangwoo-sunbae.”

“What is it?”

The other person sitting across from him looked stressed the whole time, but gave a small smile and spoke softly.

“Thank you for letting me pass today.”

“What do you mean?”

“I used to be in the same group as you for the ‘Data Structures’ course. I was three minutes late to the meeting, so you had already left. Then I had to work on your own and I ended up failing the course because I got a D mark… Oh,

I’m not blaming you for anything now.”

‘This guy. He didn’t make a mistake for the first time.’

Sangwoo had a scary face, truly terrifying, with many people in the world having the same idea as Jang Jaeyoung about time.

“This time, I thought that you had already left… I was really surprised when I saw you were still waiting.”

“…”

“Because it’s been several years now. I think the atmosphere around you is different from back then.”

The guy spoke in a way that Sangwoo found difficult to understand before bowing at him.

“I’ll learn more and work harder.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

Sangwoo didn’t know what to say and just answered with an “uh-huh” before leaving the conference room.

When he left the library building, the hot May sun shone down on his black hat. Sangwoo reflected on the words of the younger student and headed towards the room where he took the Data Structures course, which seemed like it was

 

 

three years ago. At that time, he was so determined that he didn’t even associate with people who were a little late to the meeting.

‘I think the atmosphere around you is different from back then.’

Would you say he had become weaker? If that were the case, he would never have a chance to associate with Jaeyoung forever.

Sangwoo realized he had arrived at the Faculty of Fine Arts, which he was now familiar with. He climbed the stairs to the third floor, opened the fourth door, and walked in.

“Are you here, President Chu?”

Jaeyoung spoke without taking his eyes off his phone. The other person was sitting with his legs stretched out on the table, playing a game. Today, Jaeyoung was wearing a blue shirt and black slacks. Although he wasn’t wearing a suit, in Sangwoo’s eyes, the other person looked like he was going to an important event. As he walked in, he heard sound effects. The other person stretched his arms around Sangwoo’s waist and hugged him.

“How are you doing?”

“It’s more fun than I thought it would be. Hey, are we really the ones doing this?”

Jaeyoung was playing a test version of the game with a character named Chuchu, a furry creature wearing a knitted sweater. He threw bombs to defeat the bosses and shot at slow-moving enemies with a rifle. Then he ran forward continuously. Sangwoo looked at him quietly before speaking up.

“I think we need to adjust the damage of the hand bomb a bit.”

“That’s so unfair.”

“Did you add the sound effects correctly?”

“Well done. And there’s a bug in two spots when placing it with the detonator. If you switch weapons without moving, the game will be forced to close.

Another thing is to check Chuchu’s status window, it’s not sliding to the side.”  “I already knew the first one. As for the other one, let me check it out.”

Sangwoo intended to go back to his place, but Jaeyoung’s hand, which had been creeping and groping his butt was now wrapped around his waist. He grabbed Jaeyoung’s shoulders and prevented himself from falling, and he stretched himself up a bit. Then both of Jaeyoung;s eyes stared at Sangwoo, and he moved closer, almost touching his lips. Jaeyoung lowered his eyes to look at Sangwoo’s lips before raising his gaze to meet his eyes again.

“Hey.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you miss me?”

The other whispered softly.

“We’ve been together all day until morning, haven’t we?”

“So what?”

Sangwoo wanted to tell the other that he had a problem with being loved and possessed, even though it had only been less than fourteen hours since he had just drained his balls excessively, but when he got out of that train of thought he realized it, he found himself kissing the other person again. It was a sweet gesture that could not be refused, and it was happening more often than eating these days.

Jaeyoung slipped his hand under Sangwoo’s tight shirt before pulling down the waistband of his pants and letting go. The other person withdrew his lips and looked down low.

Did you wear a new pair of underwear? Can I see it?”

“Underwear is not something you show to others.”

“But I bought it because I wanted to see it for you.”

Sangwoo ignored the meaningless words and turned around to sit at his own place.

“Hyung, you took four pairs of my underwear. So I had no choice but to wear a new one. Can you please return my underwear to me?”

“Why not wear a different one?”

“I already have enough clothes, so I don’t feel the need to buy new ones.”

“I suspect I’ll have to throw them all away when I clean out your room next time.”

The other side spoke without substance again… Sangwoo took out his notebook and waited for the boot-up. Jaeyoung spoke up.

“Starting tomorrow, you won’t have to work part-time anymore, so it’s perfect for a 3-day, 2-night weekend trip on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.”

He wondered if the other side was really working on the same project, the nonchalant expression on his face made Sangwoo slightly uneasy.

“How can we plan a trip like that? Look, we’re always running late and the work isn’t progressing.”

Sangwoo shifted his chair closer to the table and pointed to the schedule that was pinned to the wall.

There were only two months left in the agreement with Jaeyoung, and the last month was expected to be filled with testing and platform verification. So, in reality, he had to create all the functions and find bugs within a month, which, if you subtract the time for QA and beta testing, would leave only about a week. Although he was now quitting his part-time job, which would give him more time for studying and sleeping, Sangwoo still felt restless.

“Moreover, I still have classes for my major. I have an exam in three weeks.

“

Plus, I have to finish programming for the presentation within this week.”

“I understand. Then let’s postpone the trip for now, but you have to go for a getaway trip with me today.”

“Did you listen to what I said earlier? I said I don’t have time.”

“That’s exactly what I’m about to say.”

It seemed like Jaeyoung wasn’t taking what Sangwoo said seriously again. Sangwoo thought that if he was going to criticize the other side, he should at least know where he was going before asking in a hesitant voice. “Where are we going?”

____________________________________.

[1] Schedule Development, “Dynamic Programming.” A process of finding the optimal solution by solving complex problems by dividing them into smaller, more manageable subproblems.

[2]. Memoization, a technique used to speed up computer programs by storing the results of function calls.

[3] and the concept of recursion, “Recursive Function.” and a function that calls itself to solve a problem by dividing it into smaller problems, then combining the results together. Simply put, it is writing a function that calls itself repeatedly until it finds the answer.

 

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 72: Yellow #14.

   Sangwoo took a deep breath and turned his body to the side. His profile, which was glowing and blurred in the darkness, looked no less handsome than his front. At the same time, there was a beautiful figure, a body that was not too fat and had muscles only necessary for life, which was similar to the personality of the person who valued efficiency.

   Sangwoo put on a new condom and squeezed the gel onto his finger. Then he moved his hand down towards his buttocks. Jaeyoung’s mouth hung open, staring at the other’s finger disappearing into Sangwoo’s own body, his breathing stopped, his gaze fixed, from the dark black hair, the dark eyebrows, the closed eyes, down to the edge of the lips that were revealed.

   The other party bowed so low that their neck bones looked like they were about to pop out, their neck bent down, and the part that curved down to the back was so seductive that Jaeyoung had to swallow thick saliva and clench and release his fists repeatedly. When sticky lubed finger entering Sangwoo made slurpy sounds as it entered along the narrow hole, it caused a faint sound to echo throughout the quiet room, amidst the intensity of the black and white colors, both parties breathed heavily at the same time. All without touching each other again.

   “Ah-ah…”

   And then Sangwoo let out a groan that sounded like a gasp, his right hand moving faster, the sound of fingering was like walking on clay, piercing Jaeyoung’s ear, making it hot in an instant, Sangwoo’s neck jerked and his black hair trembled, his twisted face leaned back.

   “Ah, huh…”

   Chu Sangwoo was using his fingers to stretch his own hole with enthusiasm and Jaeyoung was a spectator to the scene, a scene that was more provocative than any pornographic image he had ever seen.

   “What are you looking at? You mentally ill person…”

   Sangwoo raised his eyebrows and sighed before biting his lower lip, the person who was straightforward during the day. When it fell at night, his desire did not subside. Although it was always the same action, for some reason, both of them looked like different people. Was it a delusion? Crazy bastard, damnit, where is this world a baby would act like this?

   Jaeyoung couldn’t take it anymore and jumped up with the intention of shouting at the other party. “I told you to stay calm.”

   Sangwoo had an angry expression and pushed Jaeyoung back with his foot. In Jaeyoung’s heart, he felt startled to the point of forgetting even the most exciting excitement before slowly lying back down as before.

   “I’ll do it myself.”

   Sangwoo looked straight into Jaeyoung’s eyes and then lifted himself up, his sweaty chest, bright chest, muscular abdomen, neck, arms, and legs. Whatever it was, it was all a strong stimulus for Jaeyoung. Sangwoo took a deep breath before moving his hand to the back, he held Jaeyoung’s extremely hard cock, pointed it at his wet asshole and just like magic the cock was sucked and swallowed into the waiting body just now. Jaeyoung closed his eyes.

   “Ah, it’s… ugh…”

   The sudden intense arousal made him automatically let out a moan, feeling like he was really being swallowed up, the weight of Sangwoo, the hand that was gripping the shirt, the hot skin, all of it made his head spin, after moving his hips up and down two or three times. Sangwoo sat down and pressed down even harder, the feeling of the cock being tightly wrapped and sucked made Jaeyung feel extremely pleasurable to the point of trembling in his stomach.

   “Sangwoo… wait… I’m in trouble.”

   Sangwoo ignored Jaeyoung’s words and shifted his body to take the straight cock even deeper, Jaeyoung was gritting his teeth to endure not cum yet. Meanwhile, the other party threw himself down and swallowed his meat stick until the end. Jaeyoung tightly wrapped the bedsheet and when he looked up, he met the embarrassed face of the person above him. Jaeyoung looked up at

   Sangwoo, who used both hands to support himself on his chest and breathed heavily.

   “Why do you make that face? Is something wrong?”

   “It’s too deep. And…”

   Although he should have been used to it by now, it seemed that this position made it harder for the other party to get used to the massive cock inside him. Jaeyoung flicked his finger and Sangwoo leaned down. When he looked closely, he found that the face really looked pitiful. Jaeyoung hugged the man’s arm tightly, unable to play around like a child, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sangwoo whispered in his ear.

   “Hyung…are you feeling good? I feel your stick getting bigger.”

   Jaeyoung was caught off guard and he felt cum spewed from his cock without him realizing it, causing his vision to go dark.

   “Fuck… Jesus.”

   “What’s wrong?”

   Although Jeayoung cummed just now, somehow the hard cock was still in the same state as before. Sangwoo couldn’t understand, but suddenly the white liquid leaked out through the gap in the condom, like a hot meat stick exploding, making his butt hair wet. Jaeyoung whispered in embarrassment.

   “I couldn’t adjust in time. I guess I have to change to a new one.”

   “I can’t pull it off now. Can’t you just do it like this?”

   As soon as he nodded, the other party leaned on Jaeyoung’s chest and began to move his hips up and down. Just as the pleasure reached its peak, the waves of excitement surged again.

   Sangwoo’s eyes opened slightly and he looked ecstatic watery, the hot cock moving in and out of him slowly and repeatedly, made him let out a soft moan and the tightening of the abdomen and bones of the person above him, caused the hot meat stick to tremble along with it.

   It was a sweet sex, unbelievable but not yet satisfying. Jaeyoung just lay there, but his breathing became heavier every time they touched. Every time the connection was made, the pleasure increased, and he used his two empty hands to hold the slippery waist with drops of sweat. Then he slid his fingers along the white legs that were shaking and held Sangwoo’s in a condom protection tightly.

   The black-eyes covered in darkness looked down at Jaeyoung like a pure heavenly agony. A drop of sweat dripped from Sangwoo’s forehead and hung on the tip of his chin before falling onto Jaeyoung’s shirt as the other pressed down on his shoulder. Drop after drop, it fell like rain every time their bodies moved. Jaeyoung’s mouth automatically opened, releasing a loud moan and heavy breaths. Sangwoo bit the edge of his lips and groaned.

   “Hyung…”

   “…Uh.”

   “Don’t look at me… like that.”

   Suddenly, the hand above him slid down to his eyes before Jaeyoung’s line of sight was blocked from the self undulating man, even if it was just for a moment. Jaeyoung immediately grabbed that hand and pulled it towards him, causing Sangwoo’s upper body to fall onto Jaeyoung’s chest. Jaeyoung grabbed the other’s neck and passionately kissed him.

   “Uh… Hng…”

   Sangwoo’s body, which had moved on its own, trembled and paused for a moment. The intense feeling filled his body, making him feel completely satisfied. Jaeyoung hugged the other tightly, wrapping his arms around his back.

   “Do you need help?”

   Sangwoo blinked without saying anything, his eyes overflowing with tears. Chu Sangwoo, who usually acted as if he didn’t care, was now weak and vulnerable, which was one of the many factors that made him charming.

   Jaeyoung knelt down and held the back of Sangwoo’s butt tightly.

   When Jaeyoung performed a small twist of his hips, Sangwoo’s body twisted and pressed against Jaeyoung’s neck. He didn’t know if he had made the other lose consciousness more than before today, or if this was a reward for the long journey he had taken. If so, he could drive for hours on end. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s back with one arm and lifted his hip.

   “Ah, hng… wait a minute.”

   “Does it hurt?”

   Sangwoo wrapped his arm around Jaeyoung’s neck and leaned his head to the side.

   “Continue, need to talk anymore.”

   Seeing that the other was not very conscious of his surroundings, Jaeyoung felt the urge to dominate him, almost like sadism. Every time he grabbed his hip and pushed inside, the other flinched, he felt the desire to dominate him even more, to use his own body to do so.

   He inserted himself into the tight space that connected them completely and pushed himself inside. As he writhed in the same spot three times, Sangwoo dropped all his weight onto Jaeyoung and hugged him tightly. The tips of his hair, shiny with moisture, smelled like the usual basketball court scent. He never thought there would be a day when he would think of a man’s sexy sweat smell and his mind would be slipping away because of it.

   The strong desire to possess the person in front of him was packed tightly in his heart. Jaeyoung used both hands to grab the waist of the other party with the desire to use his body to fill, pour, and indulge all over Sangwoo’s body. Then he moved his body seriously, here, it was an opportunity to bounce his hips hard according to his heart’s desire and enter Sangwoo’s hot passage, the man who at this moment was not knowing what to do except hugging his neck tightly. As he lifted his hips violently, Sangwoo’s buttocks floated before falling back down.

   “Ah, ah! Hyung…”

   He moved one hand to the back of the other party’s head without saying anything. Then he moved his damp hair and sweat, and moved his lower body, his actions becoming more and more violent, causing the sound of flesh hitting flesh to sound like a thud, along with Sangwoo’s body shaking in the air. Every time the other party pressed his hips down, he bounced his hips to receive it. The other party would release fluids from his eyes and the corners of his mouth, moaning.

   “Huh, huh, haa… Ouch, slow dow-… Ahh…”

   The movement of the waist became more and more violent, with a sound mixed with both sorrow and happiness, a sound that was getting faster and more intense every time, and became so intense that Sangwoo’s lower body was floating in the air, bouncing every time the other party pressed down. The other party would release fluids from his eyes and the corners of his mouth, moaning.

   “Haeuk, haeuk, haa… Ouch, heuk… Ahh!”

   Sangwoo didn’t show much emotion, but it was only his body that couldn’t hide it. Once he knew that the other party showed emotions because of him,

   Jaeyoung became more aroused and his actions became more violent, causing Sangwoo to wake up more and more, and they both rushed to their destination like that.

   ‘Why did I just meet you now?’

   Jaeyoung felt that the blood sucked from his heart was mixed with feelings that were hotter than the fluids in his body, feelings that made him blind and made his consciousness a paralysis, not just something that could be explained by sexual desire alone. He left the unsafe feelings aside and drowned in the sea of emotions.

   Sangwoo responded strongly to every movement of Jaeyoung today because he was special in responding to emotions. The other party hugged him from behind and bit his shoulder, clearly seeing how much the other party was mewling, so he didn’t need to ask for any response.

   Jaeyoung listened to the sound of the man’s unmodified and unbridled moans, not expecting them to come out with such pleasure. He tightened his arms around the hot body and kissed the hairline and forehead while his body attacked relentlessly at one point. Jaeyoung learned quickly and it was common for him to know exactly where to touch to make Sangwoo feel helpless.

   “Uh, Sangwoo-ya…?”

   “Uh… huh, heh, ugh, huhu, huh…”

   Jaeyoung had only seen Sangwoo cry once, and he didn’t want to feel that way again. But crying on the bed was not bad at all, he hugged Sangwoo tightly, who was still trembling in his arms, while his lower body continued to pound without pause.

   The feelings of both were running towards the ultimate point together, a feeling of relief that could satisfy the other, and a desire to engrave the highest feeling of happiness in that body, which became a complex feeling that Jaeyoung wanted to express in many ways.

   “Ah, ah! Ugh… hyung, hyung, Jaeyoung…”

   When the walls inside Sangwoo tightened him tightly, Jaeyoung realized that Sangwoo had reached his end for this round. When the movement stopped, the other’s body became weak and fell completely. Sangwoo hugged Jaeyoung’s chest and pulled him close, even though his eyes were still closed.

   This time, his shirt was torn from the strong pull.

   “Huh… huh… Sangwoo-ya…”

   Sangwoo just breathed heavily and quickly without saying anything.

   “Open your eyes a little.”

   The eyelids that closed without resistance blinked slowly and opened to reveal only half of the black eyes. When their eyes met, their lips moved towards each other immediately, exchanging a long kiss that sounded wet and sloppy with saliva, after which Sangwoo closed his eyes and fell beside him.

   “I thought I was going to die. There is a chance of dying during sex, you know.”

   The eyes that were hidden with happiness flickered slowly, but there was something that the other side overlooked. Jaeyoung kissed the damp forehead before using his hand to wipe the sweat off the cheeks and chin.

   “You’re not dead yet. I’m not done yet.”

   “I don’t have any strength left. That’s enough for today.”

   “Enough? It’s just getting started.”

   Jaeyoung withdrew his cock from the tight asshole, pulled off the condom filled with cum water and lubricating gel. Then he put on a new one, took off his wet pants and socks, and threw away the shirt that was soaked with sweat. He thanked Sangwoo for unbuttoning the bottom and then easily taking off the trousers. He hugged Sangwoo who was lying exhausted from their lovemaking.

   “If you arouse me, you have to take responsibility.”

   “…I understand. Put it in.”

   Jaeyoung, who had maintained his state of arousal since before, had no strength to to be considerate anymore. He turned the other side and stabbed his cock in one fell swoop. Sangwoo lost his composure and let out a scream.

   The second round of the war began with bodies overlapping like dogs in heat. Jaeyoung moved his waist closer to Sangwoo’s hairline and pulled him in, burying his face into the other person’s head that was leaning back, and whispered softly beside his ear.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “Uh…what is it?”

   “What are you thinking now?”

   “Uh…mmmhpf…happiness…. climax, Jang…Jaeyoung, losing…humanity…”

   “Still…me having humanity? I have lost it already.” He felt that tonight would be a long night.

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SMNTCERR, Chapter 71: Yellow #13.

   “Today, hyung you look very strange.”

   “Why?”

   “I’ve never seen you dress like this before. And I’ve never smelled this scent before.”

   “And don’t you like it?”

   “…No.”

   “Then it doesn’t matter.”

   “And… What happened at the funeral?”

   Jaeyoung thought that now Sangwoo could imitate humans without any problems. As soon as he hugged him tightly, Sangwoo lightly patted his shoulder.

   “When you said someone did something, who was it?”

   “Aunt, uncle in laws, uncle, and the aunt in laws. And older siblings and younger siblings, someone went to scold them.”

   “Stupid man, this, are you sulking because you were bothered by your relatives a little?”

   “You have to comfort me, do you think I came here to be bullied or something?”

   “Do you mean to comfort you physically with my body?”

   “You’re overthinking it. It’s not like that. Be careful with your words.”  Jaeyoung was frustrated with Sangwoo, knowing that the other had no function for “warmth and comfort.” The truth didn’t matter anymore, as Sangwoo had just dumped his weight onto Jaeyoung and was now fully inhaling his scent. Jaeyoung didn’t want any more comfort.

   Sangwoo was silent for a long moment, which was unbearable for Jaeyoung.

   He felt like his body was weak and exhausted to the point of almost collapsing.

   The other finally spoke up.

   “In nature, strong creatures live alone. For example, black mambas can produce venom from the moment they hatch and therefore don’t need a pack to protect themselves.”

   “…”

   “As for the animals that can’t do that, there’s a reason they have to live together in large groups. Herbivores have low individual strength and need to be in a group to protect themselves from predators, while carnivores form packs to hunt.”

   Jaeyoung listened to the lecture on zoology that had suddenly started with a speechless feeling. Sangwoo gave detailed descriptions of animals such as lemurs, monkeys, and hyenas before asking.

   “What type are you?”

   “I don’t know.”

   He couldn’t answer seriously because it wasn’t logical to compare animals and humans. Moreover, it was impossible for Sangwoo, who grew up in a normal family, to understand the situation of a broken family that was commonly seen in dramas.

   “If it’s a child of a mammal that feeds its young with milk from its pouch, it’s a different story. When they reach adulthood, they have to separate and live their own lives. If they’re weak, they’ll have to rely on a group, but if living with a group harms them…”

   Sangwoo spoke in a flat tone for a moment.

   “Just avoid them? Are you sure if you can survive without a family?”

   That was a way of thinking that said to find the root of the problem and eliminate it when there was a problem. What the other said wasn’t wrong, but it was just that he didn’t know his situation. Normally, people tend to think that this kind of thinking is cold.

   “Do your parents know that you think like this?”

   “Of course. I left home five years ago.”

   “Are your parents disappointed?”

   “I try to maintain my connection with my family by calling them every month and visiting them every six months. And I plan to return the money that they all spent on me for the next nine years.”

   “…You hyung, sounds like a grateful kid.”

   Although he spoke like that, it was clear that Sangwoo grew up in a loving family. His father insisted on adding a heart at the end of his name on a phone list. His mother was afraid that her son, who had no mouth filter, would have trouble fitting in and taught him etiquette in drinking on his own. His older sister often quarreled with her younger brother like any other siblings.

   Sometimes, that might be the reason why the other party was emotionally stable. Ignoring other people’s opinions and having high self-respect. Jaeyoung felt envious and jealous of the two men who were embracing each other at the same time.

   “Hyung, you are contradictory. Even though you skipped important classes all the time. And why won’t you miss the funeral, which is nothing but a headache.”

   “If I don’t go, it’ll be a problem.”

   “Let it be. Those relatives are just like any other people. No one can force you.”

   “You’re right about everything.”

   Jaeyoung smiled unconsciously, it was strange that such a ridiculous problem-solving method made him calm, and the conclusion helped him brush away the stress and feel refreshed like carbonated water.

   “It’s over, I’ve never seen a red demon wearing a hat before.”

   Hearing the other party murmuring, Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly.

   “Am I stupid?”

   “A little bit. I understand because we all have weaknesses. Even Superman has kryptonite.”

   “That’s right. A perfect man like me must have weaknesses too.”

   Jaeyoung thought that was not a bad comparison. One weakness, ‘family’, which his grandfather had been giving him for a long time, made Jaeyoung vulnerable. No different from Superman who lost his power when he encountered kryptonite. At that time, he was suspicious.

   “Then what is your kryptonite?”

   “I don’t have anything like that.” Sangwoo answered without hesitation.

   Jaeyoung accepted it without any doubt.

   “That’s good. A Superman without weaknesses.”

   Lack of social skills, senses, empathy, but that might not be a disadvantage for a black mamba that is strong, because even if they cannot get along with others, they can still live on their own.

   “You’ve probably been living like that all your life.”

   Sangwoo patted Jaeyoung’s back twice and said. “Okay then.

   It’s done.”

   The technician was a gentle comforter.

   “Do you want a kiss now?”

   “Oh.”

   Jaeyoung’s fingers held onto both sides of Sangwoo’s cheeks. Jaeyoung closed his eyes and closed his eyes, but Sangwoo tilted his face up to his own level. Then he just lingered there for a moment without doing anything, his finger traced Jaeyoung’s forehead and then came to rest on his brow. Then he slowly trailed down his nose, across his cheeks, and then over the ridge above his lips before finally coming to rest on his mouth.

   “Why did those people come causing problems for a good-looking relative like this?”

   As he let out a smile, something else touched the corner of Jaeyoung’s lips instead of his finger. It was something that sucked and pulled the lower lip of Jaeyoung into his mouth, and sent a soft, gentle tongue to caress it. Sangwoo licked Jaeyoung’s lips and alternated with sucking. When he opened his mouth wide, the other side sent his tongue in.

   ‘I feel really good now.’

   After practicing a lot, he became a full-fledged player. Jaeyoung forgot about his fatigue and was pulled along by Sangwoo’s seduction. He felt like he had turned into a melting chocolate in the warm mouth, and let the other side explore the depths of his mouth gently. While their tongues were entwined, his consciousness drifted away, and his lips and tongue were stimulated by Sangwoo’s touch, causing his thoughts to pause.

   After their lips naturally separated, Jaeyoung pulled Sangwoo back into his arms and whispered in his ear.

   “Can I stay here tonight and leave in the morning?”

   “Yes.”

   ‘Aren’t you answering too quickly?’

   “Then bring me some pajamas, I’ll go take a shower.”

   “No, there is no time for you to change clothes.”

   Sangwoo quickly replied and grabbed Jaeyoung’s arm, pulling him towards the bed. The other side’s face turned red with anticipation. There was a fire in his eyes. Although he fell onto the bed due to the force, Jaeyoung still didn’t feel like doing anything. He grabbed Sangwoo as he climbed up onto his stomach and pulled him down to hug him, flipping over to lie on his side.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Yes?”

   “Let’s just sleep and hug each other like parents do with their children.” With that said, he remembered something and added.

   “We are both men, so we can’t get married, but it’s just a metaphor. If you don’t feel good, I’ll be the mother and you can be the father.”

   Sangwoo just stared at him without saying anything. Jaeyoung pushed his body closer and inserted his leg between Sangwoo’s, their chests touching and the warmth inviting a good feeling. The intense feeling that almost made their hearts explode began to subside, replaced by a warm and soothing feeling that made the corners of their mouths lift and small waves that helped eliminate hatred and anxiety, making their hearts calm down. Jaeyoung thought it was good that he came to find Sangwoo.

   Suddenly, Sangwoo, who was lying still, asked him.

   “Are you not going to do anything?”

   When he didn’t answer, Sangwoo began to move and pushed his head forward to meet his gaze.

   “If you were a parent, you would have to take care of the baby, wouldn’t you?”

   Jaeyoung pressed his head against the other side again and hugged his body tighter.

   “I want to stay like this more.”

   ‘Please. Chu Sangwoo, I didn’t come here to have sex with you, but to see your face differently.’

   No matter how much he begged in his heart, Sangwoo couldn’t acknowledge the command that wasn’t given to him. Sangwoo pushed Jaeyoung’s chest out to create some distance, then looked down. Jaeyoung used his other hand to cover his eyes before turning over and facing the other way, but the moment had passed.

   “A sexual desire is beyond the control of reason. I understand that feeling well.”

   “…”

   At that moment, he hated himself for being born a man. Jaeyoung didn’t really think about having sex, but as soon as he saw Sangwoo’s face, his body responded on its own. Sangwoo moved closer and hugged his back. Then he whispered in his ear as if he understood everything.

   “I just saw you wear a suit for the first time, so I wanted to do this too, but if you don’t want to lose your humanity, I respect that decision.”

   Giving in became the ultimate temptation and spark for his desire. Jaeyoung could feel the blood flowing throughout his body.

   “Chu Sangwoo.”

   “What is it?”

   “Where are the condoms?”

   “Who said he wouldn’t do it?”

   “I said I wouldn’t do it, but you won’t stay still enough for me to calm down.”

   “I don’t want to force someone who’s not willing…”

   “Hurry up and get it before I can’t take it anymore and put my cock inside you myself, please.”

   Jaeyoung’s body, which had been pressed against Sangwoo’s back, slid away as the light went out, followed by Sangwoo who returned with a condom from the same brand as before. As Jaeyoung reached out to pull the other side in for a hug, Sangwoo pushed him down on his back.

   “Hyung, you looked tired today, I’ll take care of it myself.”

   “What?”

   “Just be still.”

   He finished speaking. Sangwoo sat down at the end of the bed and quickly unbuttoned his pajamas. Jaeyoung looked at the other side in a half-sitting, halflying position before slowly lying down. He looked at the thin pajamas slipping down to reveal Sangwoo’s body, and he swallowed hard. Although he imagined himself tearing the clothes into pieces and rushing inside Sangwoo, he still remembered the order to stay calm.

   Sangwoo took off his pajamas and neatly folded them into a rectangle before facing Jaeyoung. At that moment, the person in front did something unexpected. Sangwoo pulled down his pants a little and put a condom on his own cock without waiting for permission.

   “Sangwoo?”

   ‘Does “be still” mean this?’

   Jaeyoung was startled to the point of stiffness. Although he had thought that this might happen someday, he didn’t expect it to be today. He intended to talk to Sangwoo about this and agree to everything if the other side wanted, but he hadn’t prepared himself yet.

   ‘I should not have inferred to myself as the mother.’’

   Sangwoo moved closer and placed his hand above Jaeyoung’s pants button.

   Jaeyoung grabbed the other hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

   “Wait, I’m not ready yet…”

   “You’re acting strange today, hyung.”

   Sangwoo smiled and surprised Jaeyoung. He took advantage of the moment when he relaxed his grip on his pants and underwear at the same time. Jaeyoung decided to lie still and see what the other side would do, but he couldn’t help but worry in his heart.

   “Are we just going to lie here like this?”

   “Just wait a bit, it’ll calm down on its own.”

   “Look at yourself first before you speak.”

   Sangwoo complained that it was too slippery and grabbed a tissue to wipe himself off. He only lightly touched Jaeyoung with the tissue, but Jaeyoung felt like he was being licked and the desire in him grew stronger, causing his cock to continuously release fluids. However, Sangwoo persisted in wiping until he was done and then put on the condom for Jaeyoung.

   “Why put it on both of us?”

   “I thought since we had to throw away the shirt last time, we might as well wear condoms together. The shirt must be expensive, right?”

   Sangwoo spoke as if it wasn’t important and took off Jaeyoung’s coat. Jaeyoung’s anxiety and suspicion suddenly turned into excitement, causing his mind to go blank, but he was determined to wait and see something good if he waited a little longer.

   Sangwoo squeezed some lubricant onto the condom and spread it around with his fingers. Then he took a deep breath, lifted his hips, held on Jaeyoung’s shoulders with both hands, and placed his buttocks right on top of Jaeyung’s red stiff shaft. The small touch made Jaeyoung so excited that he almost lost control and grabbed onto Sangwoo’s arm. He held onto the white-hot arm tightly and relaxed it, and repeated it, but the desired reaction he was waiting for never came.

   “It’s not working.”

   Sangwoo frowned and, after trying a few more times, gave up and sat down on Jaeyoung’s thigh, looking pitiful.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 70, Yellow #12.

   A heart that turns into ice when surrounded by people who don’t like to melt it. Sangwoo has a talent for shaking people’s hearts unintentionally, and sometimes that may be the reason why Jaeyoung has come to this point.

   [Are you listening?]

   “Oh.”

   If his grandfather knew dating a man how he would react, Jaeyoung wondered, maybe he would throw a cigarette in his mouth at him or be locked up in a psychiatric hospital, or maybe he would just laugh loudly and say it was just for fun and it was over. Then he would say to keep the line.

   The line… of that man.

   [I’m sorry for calling during a busy time.]

   The other side apologized easily even though he didn’t do anything wrong. He wondered if the person at the end of the line was the same person he used to face without feeling shocked because he didn’t want to show the “sadness” that might be real at the internet cafe.

   “No, it’s not a bother.”

   […]

   “…”

   [After talking on the phone yesterday, I thought…] Sangwoo paused for a moment and continued. [Your voice sounded sad. So I just wanted to say don’t be too sad. 

   That’s my reason.]

   Or the other person might think he was sad because he came to a funeral? Well, anyway, the other person’s thoughts had only one dimension to be completely wrong, but Chu Sangwoo’s concern was very valuable. Jaeyoung felt the corner of his mouth curling up as he answered.

   “I have something to worry about, but it happens often… it’s okay.”

   [Did someone play a prank on you?]

   “Yeah.”

   [Who was it?]

   “If you know, what will you do?”

   His smile became more apparent. He had only been out of Seoul for 2 days, but Jaeyoung missed Sangwoo so much.

   [I understand. I said too much. That’s all.]

   “Wait.”

   Jaeyoung held the phone with both hands and pressed it closer to his ear.

   “Let me hear your voice a little more.”

   He needed to be strong to endure another day without Sangwoo. Jaeyoung hurriedly raised the volume, afraid of missing even the faint murmurs of the other person. Then he heard the sound of soft breathing.

   “I said I wanted to hear you speak, why are you so quiet?”

   [I have nothing to say.]

   “Anything is fine, just speak your mind.”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment. Then, what he said made Jaeyoung forget how to breathe.

   [Jang Jaeyoung.]

   He was so happy that he was lost in hearing his name called with the sound of the end of the line.

   [The office is very quiet now that you are gone. Time seems to pass slowly.]

   “…”

   [Miss you.]

   The murmuring sound faded away as if it had passed by unnoticed. He wondered if he had misheard it. When he tried to ask again, the other person spoke quickly.

   [I spoke without thinking. That’s all.]

   Then the line was cut immediately. Jaeyoung stood still, staring at the black screen for a moment. Just one phone call made him breathe like a longdistance runner, feeling restless and his heart aching, a feeling that was hot and turbulent like an emotional storm, above all else, it was intense. Jaeyoung leaned his back and head against the wall, holding the phone tightly in his hand, and from where he stood on the lower stairs, it seemed that the other party might have taken another step up.

   ‘I wanted to have enough fun and end things, but that seems to be becoming even more impossible.’

   When is it enough? He had been pondering about this for a while now. Everything was confusing, the line that should not be crossed? He didn’t know where that line was, maybe he had already crossed it. Jaeyoung was overwhelmed, Chu Sangwoo’s explosive outburst destroyed even Jaeyoung’s weakness and coolness, so in Jaeyoung’s mind, everything became clear. Previously, Jaeyoung was not born with a habit of thinking and paying attention to every detail.

   He hurriedly walked. As he turned the corner, he almost collided with Jaehong, but he didn’t care about the other party and hurriedly aimed his feet towards the hotel entrance.

   “What’s wrong with you?”

   Jaehong’s voice was full of laughter. When he turned to look, he saw a face with a deep smile. Jaeyoung walked faster with Jaehong following at the same speed.

   “Your baby voice is so low. It’s like a boy that it actually surprised me. Or… not just like, but was that really a man?”

   “Shut up.”

   “Are you dating a guy?”

   He looked at the other person who was talking loudly and walked away without paying attention to any questions, regardless of how long they had been together, how old the other person was, or what they looked like.

   “I can’t believe that there will be a day when we have the same interests, JangJaeyoung. It’s not like grandfather gave you permission and you started dating.”

   “What do you want to say?”

   “I know your weakness, don’t I?”

   “Do you want to announce it? Go ahead.”

   He stepped forward and stood in front of the elevator, pressing the button without hesitation or hesitation, his fingers eagerly pressing the button that was already lit up two or three times.

   “So… where are you going?”

   “Seoul.”

   Jaeyoung answered briefly before stepping into the elevator that had just arrived and pressing the floor number. Jaehong followed him in and asked with a worried expression.  “Are you serious?”

   “Uh.”

   “No, I mean that guy. Are you serious about him?”

   Seriously? What is that supposed to mean? Although he has had many experiences in love, Jaeyoung thinks he doesn’t know the answer. His current condition is simpler than ever. The only reason he went to pack his things and get in the car and drive like he is chased by aliens was because Sangwoo said he missed him. He didn’t mention Sangwoo’s intense desire or his need for Jaeyoung’s body, that’s all.

   “But isn’t tomorrow the funeral?”

   It is clear that something will happen if he disappears without saying anything. Although Jaeyoung has been living with the ‘line’ to prevent annoying things, he no longer cares about Indra and Brahma’s faces…

   Jaeyoung got off the elevator on the 8th floor and spoke to Jaehong.

   “Can you help me with something?”

   “What?”

   “I’ve been keeping your secrets until now.”

   “So what?”

   “So you should help me once, tell them that I have urgent work and I have to go back soon.”

   “Do you think it will work? Just wait another day and then go, right?”

   “It won’t work.”

   Chu Sangwoo said he missed him. Not complaining about him working or saying he wants to sleep with him, but saying he misses him.

   Jaehong frowned and spoke, “I’m not sure if this will go smoothly. Besides, grandfather won’t listen to me…”

   “So you can’t help.”

   Jaeyoung swiped his keycard to enter the room, kicked his travel bag causing it to fall and scattered clothes all over the room, then Jaehong stood hugging his chest and sighed.

   “I understand. Just calm down.”

   Jaeyoung ignored the other party and continued packing his bag.

   Standing there hugging his chest and pouting, suddenly Jaehong came and sat in front of the travel bag, rummaged through the messy clothes and picked out the suit and shirt that Jaeyoung had brought. When he realized the purpose of the person in front of him, Jaeyoung slowly stopped his actions, and Jaehong took off his suit to try it on.

   “It’s not my style, but I can’t help it.”

   “Are you sure?”

   “Who could ever imagine?”

   He remembered when they were kids, when Jaehong was sick and had to miss school. Then he pretended to be the other party until the teacher turned around. He didn’t think Jaehong would be a good actor, but no one knew that the other party came here, just fooling his grandfather would be enough. “Hey,

   Jaehong.”

   When he called him, the other party remained silent and licked his lips.

   “If you want to thank me, you don’t have to, because I won’t help you for free next time.”

   “Tell me.”

   “Give me the shoes and perfume. Your grandfather is sensitive.”

   Jaeyoung changed shoes with the other party, threw the perfume bottle before locking his travel bag. Then he left the hotel without looking back.

   He stepped on the accelerator to go faster, maybe there would be several tickets for speeding, but now Jaeyoung was unconscious and didn’t have time to care about that, he didn’t even stop to rest once, the car ran until he arrived in Seoul in less than three hours.

   When he got out of the car in front of Sangwoo’s apartment building, he felt tense before entering. He stopped and examined himself from the reflection on the glass door. He was wearing a black suit and Oxford Brogues shoes, in Jaehong’s style, which Sangwoo might like, but he had been working all day, and maybe he smelled of sweat.

   Jaeyoung stood in front of the apartment building, not rushing to go inside immediately. Earlier, he had thought of going in the opposite direction to the office without caring about how the other person would react, even though he had been rejected repeatedly. He had only made it into a joke, but today was the only day he didn’t feel that way. He had traveled this far just because of the words “miss you,” and sometimes he might be weak, might have misheard something, or might not accept it because he was tired. The anxiety he had never felt before had surfaced at the bottom of his heart, and it seemed that he might lose his confidence because he was in a vulnerable state.

   ‘Or maybe I should just go back.’

   In his heart, he thought about smoking, but then he thought that the other person, who didn’t like the smell of smoke, might have just taken a clean shower and put on clean pajamas, and might not like it. He quickly gave up his intention, raised his head, and looked at the tightly closed window. He didn’t worry about anything and was in a stable state, which was different from himself.

   Jaeyoung unlocked his phone to check the messages he hadn’t read while driving, but they were all messages he didn’t want at the moment. At that moment, there was a new message.

   [Baby: I’ve been thinking. We might have to accept the unlimited mode, ladder, ranking, and special quests, because the store takes two weeks to consider. So we have to start the beta test on the 3rd as scheduled. _23:04.]

   [Baby: I know you’re busy. You don’t have to reply. Just know it. 

   _23:04.]

   He read it a few times and thought about the message that seemed to be work-related, but then another message came in.

   [Bebe: And sweet dreams. Getting enough sleep can help relieve the stress you’ve been under during the day. _23:07.]

   “Playing with my heart.”

   He didn’t know why, but suddenly tears welled up in his eyes. Jaeyoung put his phone in his bag and opened the glass door, running up the stairs two steps at a time until he reached the fourth floor. Then he stood in front of the door, adjusting his breathing, and remembered that he had once slammed the door hard, making a loud noise. He slowly raised his hand and knocked on the door three times with his fingertips.

   He didn’t know how long he had been standing there waiting before the door opened and a bright light shone on the dark staircase. When he blinked and opened his eyes again, he saw the other person standing in front of him in pajamas, both shirt and pants, with wide eyes and an open mouth, looking surprised.

   “Why…”

   Jaeyoung slowly walked into the room and closed the door. Sangwoo stood a distance away, looking somewhat aloof, as they both stood there gazing into each other’s eyes for a moment.

   ‘You know, I really like you a lot.’

   Just by looking at the other person’s face, he could tell. At that moment, he understood the anxiety that said that desires would only become more and more intense if they hit the ceiling and should come down instead. If it goes to the extreme, it should be cooled down. But why does it get more and more intense the longer the days go by? Jaeyoung thought about taking off his expensive shoes, but was indifferent, and took two steps towards Sangwoo. Sangwoo widened his eyes and looked at Jaeyoung without avoiding his gaze, even though his cheeks turned red.

   “I didn’t know if you would come.”

   “And don’t you want me to come?”

   The gaze with black eyes replied that it wasn’t that.

   Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s neck and leaned towards himself. As soon as he lowered his chin onto his shoulder and dropped his weight, the negative feeling that had been swirling in his heart before slowly flowed out to the tips of his fingers. He closed his eyes automatically and took a long breath out through the corner of his mouth.

   Anxiety is not his hobby, why waste the time that should be happy to worry? But the more he knows the other person, the more intense the infatuation becomes, the more the anxiety increases, it’s really annoying.

   “Feels good.”

   No. Jaeyoung always feels good when he meets Sangwoo, he has never been like this before. He has never been so deeply immersed that he cannot control himself, he rubbed his face against the nape of the other person’s neck before feeling the two arms that tightly held his back, and the embrace of Sangwoo that he used to think was warm and large.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 69: Yellow #11.

   Meanwhile, his grandfather, who was still chuckling, returned and the grunting uncle quickly flashed a wide smile that almost revealed all of his gold teeth. Jaeyoung felt a sense of worthlessness that he had never felt before. He stopped eating, put down his spoon and fork, and just laughed out loud. When he was a child and saw people getting what they wanted, he felt so envious that he didn’t know what to do, but now he just felt annoyed and could tolerate it.

   “Father, let’s find time to go to Australia together. I went to Australia last month and secretly looked at some nice golf courses.”

   “Hahaha, Australia is also good.”

   The reason why Jaeyoung had to force himself to attend the family gathering was because his grandfather, an elderly businessman who had built himself up from scratch, was a person with high self-esteem and a strong leader. He had a taste for “image” and even when he went out for a moment, he had to wear a suit. He was also a romantic man who strongly emphasized that he would not date or remarry after his grandmother died five years ago, but at the same time, he was an old-fashioned person who held the belief that a daughter who got married and to another family/clan was like being an outsider, and he emphasized the importance of blood ties.

   When he was in junior high school and was punished by the seniors, and when he brought his girlfriend home in high school and was caught, his grandfather just laughed and said that men could have such things happen. When he rebelled and said he didn’t want to see his grandfather’s face and ran away from home for a month, secretly drank Western liquor in the library, and started smoking, his grandfather said it was just a phase of his life and let him do it, even when he chose to study design instead of business administration as the other party hoped. His grandfather respected Jaeyoung’s decision.

   However, on the day when Jaeyoung argued that he wanted to cut ties with his family that had split in different directions like this, he was slapped for the first time in his life, the day he didn’t participate in the family activity as the other party wished, he was kicked out of the house, and the day he called his uncle a dog-faced man, he was beaten with a golf club.

   His grandfather is the most understanding and intimidating man that Jaeyoung has ever met. Jaeyoung has learned both freedom and compromise from the other party at the same time, and he is not confident that he will not meet your grandfather for the rest of his life, and he cannot change your grandfather, so he can only surrender and maintain the ‘line’ throughout his twenties.

   After leaving the family gathering, Jaeyoung returned to the room exhausted and immediately collapsed on the bed. Every time they gathered like this, he would normally be exhausted, but today he felt more impatient than usual, and he knew why.

   He struggled to remove his contact lenses, then lay face down with his arms and legs spread out for a while before reaching into his pants pocket and taking out his phone, which he had put on silent. There were several useless contacts from various places, but the one he really wanted to contact did not come.

   ‘I miss you so much.’

   Perhaps because they had been seeing each other almost every day until now. When they didn’t see each other for just one day, he became agitated. In the past, even though there was nothing special going on, he just wanted to know if the other party was doing well, if they were eating enough. Jaeyoung stared at the four-word message Sangwoo had sent him before calling the other party.

   Ring… ring… ring… ring… ring…

   ‘Please pick up.’

   Despite the fact that the phone was ringing incessantly, Sangwoo refused to let Jaeyoung hear the voice he wanted to hear, so Jaeyoung called again.

   Ring… ring… ring… ring…

   ‘What are you doing?’

   Jaeyoung felt angry. No, he wanted it so badly. He didn’t know why, but he had to hear that voice right now. Jaeyoung hung up before entering the voicemail system and calling again.

   [Hello… hello.]

   The end of the line crackled and responded to the seventh or eighth attempt to call, and he wasn’t sure. Jaeyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

   [What’s up? Why are you calling?]

   ‘It’s really effective.’

   He muttered to himself. When he heard Sangwoo’s voice, the anger and exhaustion he had felt just a moment ago were washed away in an instant.

   [Are you at a funeral or something?]

   “No.”

   He had already paid his respects to the deceased. He thought about helping with the funeral arrangements, but that was for tomorrow and the day after. It was like Sangwoo wouldn’t say anything and he didn’t prolong the conversation. The man on the other side hung up for sure. He hesitated to speak even though he didn’t want to.

   “Where are you?”

   [I’m at home.]

   “What are you doing?”

   [Well…doing this and that, playing games. And…um…brushing my teeth.]

   “Before that.”

   [I was writing code in my office.]

   “Alone?”

   [Yes.]

   The other side’s answer was too short. Jaeyoung wanted to hear more than that.

   “I’m not there, why did you go to the office?”

   [I have gotten into a habit of working there.]

   “…”  […]

   Jaeyoung thought that today was the only day he hated silence.

   “Sangwooya.”

   [Yes.]

   “Sangwooya.”

   [What is it?]

   “Sangwooya.”

   [Finally, you lost your mind.]

   Jaeyoung laughed softly, not thinking about hating the other party, the senseless and lifeless man who even though he heard his soft voice. He asked if he was crazy. Instead of being able to touch the abnormality, Sangwoo hated everything he did during this period. Jaeyoung smiled and decided to retreat like usual.

   “What are you wearing now?”

   [I’m wearing pajamas.]

   “I imagine you wearing pajamas and playing games and I am feeling aroused.”

   [Then just go jerk off.]

   “Help me a little, with a sexy voice like that.”

   [How so?]

   “Just use your hand to play with yourself and moan for me to hear, I think I can finish here.”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment, his expression unable to convey the emotions that were locked in his gaze.

   [I’ll just summarize it for you. You have not cummed yet.]

   “Why not?”

   […I tried earlier but it didn’t work out.]

   Caught off guard by the sudden attack, Jaeyoung burst out laughing, his laughter tinged with exhaustion, before Sangwoo retorted that laughing at a phenomenon in psychology was not appropriate.

   “What did you do when you looked at my pictures?”

   [What are you asking?”]

   “Hey, what are you looking at? Look at my face.”

   [Stop fooling around.]

   “I’m serious, where are you looking?”

   […]

   “Hurry up and answer.”

   [Well…I’ve looked at several pictures and I’ve tried doing it with my hand. I can’t remember it very well now. I feel embarrassed now, can I just leave it?]

   “No.”

   Jaeyoung had Sangwoo explain in detail the work he had done with his hand and lotion that day, while the other party spoke in a calm voice, simply closing his eyes and listening quietly.

   If there was a voice like this in a reading assistance program, it would be great. He would probably listen to it every night until he knew it by heart, or sometimes he might just listen to the voice without understanding the content at all. Jaeyoung slipped under the blanket without even changing his clothes.

   [Are you listening?]

   “Uh.”

   [Do you know that the call has been going on for over fifty minutes?]

   “No.”

   [The duration of the call has been increasing steadily lately. If this trend continues, it is highly possible that it will exceed three hours next time.]

   “Then…let it go too far.”

   [Isn’t it better not to do that?]

   “…Yeah, you’re right.”

   [Are you asleep?]

   “No…not yet.”

   [Seems like you’re getting drowsy. Hang up and go to bed.]

   “Don’t put it down. Keep talking…a little more.”

   [Why?]

   “Just keep talking…go on.”

   [That’s all for now.]

   Despite Jaeyoung’s incessant talking, complaining, and whining, it seemed like the other party was willing to listen. Towards the end, Jaeyoung couldn’t speak much because he fell asleep in the middle without turning off the light.

   ⌘W.

   The next day, Jaeyoung was busy receiving money for helping with the funeral all day long. Although the funeral was held in a province far from Seoul, there were still many guests who came to express their condolences. Although he claimed to be there as a grandson, he hated the dead uncle and was glad that he had passed away and that he wouldn’t have to see him again. If it was a job that required labor like this because that hateful uncle died, he would gladly do it.

   In the evening, the whole family gathered to eat together amidst an eerie atmosphere. Grandpa called him to talk for thirty minutes. By the time he came out, the sky was already dark. It was then that Jang Jaeyoung received a call from Jaehong.

   [Where are you? I’m almost at the hotel.]

   “Are you coming?”

   [There’s nothing else to do.]

   “Why don’t you go pay your respects to the deceased first? “

   [What’s the point of going now? I’ll go see Grandpa tomorrow. It’s better to go with Mom and you together.]

   Jaeyoung thought that it wasn’t so bad, compared to Jang Jaehong. Even though his relatives didn’t like him and tried to control him, he was still better than Jang Jaehong, who was raised by their father. They didn’t care about Jang Jaehong and didn’t consider him part of the family.

   “You’re in front of the hotel, right? I see you.”

   Shortly after hanging up, the taxi pulled up in front of Jang Jaeyoung. Then his twin brother got out of the car.

   ‘Why do I feel so annoyed seeing his face?’

   They were both the same height, looked the same, and sounded the same. When they were kids, they both couldn’t stand having someone who looked exactly like them around, so they often fought. But they were only the same on the outside, everything else was different, from their personalities, hobbies, fashion styles, way of speaking, and even their facial expressions.

   “Long time no see…Jang Jaeyoung.”

   Jaehong spoke firmly before walking towards him. On the other side, a handsome man in a perfectly fitting black suit and necktie stood, with a strong and confident appearance. Even my meticulously groomed hair was still a bit unsettling for Jaeyoung’s taste, and his accessories and shoes, which he claimed were classic, just looked old-fashioned. Who would have thought that he was still in his twenties?

   “Everything is fine, isn’t it?”

   Jaeyoung turned to exhale cigarette smoke before answering.

   “It’s always chaotic here.”

   “Who gets to sit in the executive chair?”

   “I don’t care about that party.”

   After graduating from Europe and starting to work in finance, his twin brother became very interested in social success. Therefore, even though he was looked down upon as a member of the Jang family, he still came to the Park family events without hesitation. Jaeyoung added.

   “Why are you here? It smells strange.”

   “Just taking a break. I have some free time. And I wanted to know what the situation is like.”

   Jaehong spoke as if it wasn’t important, they were similar only on the outside, the truth was very different.

   After the conversation ended, Jaehong broke the silence.

   “Do you have something to say? You must have graduated by now.”  “Well… not exactly, but it’s not something I need to talk to you about.” Jaeyoung replied curtly.

   Their relationship was not that close. Although they lived in the same house until they were twelve years old, their habits were too different to play together. While Jaeyoung liked to draw on walls, Jaehong liked to read books. Although they studied the same foreign language, Jaeyoung showed talent in speaking, while Jaehong was good at understanding. If Jaeyoung was a troublemaker who caused problems in the alley, Jaehong was a top student who was serious, to the point that the other side also had some secrets.

   “Which room do you sleep in? If the room is spacious, let me sleep with you.”

   “Don’t act useless, go rent your own room.”

   We should sleep together after this many years.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t see the point in arguing back, so he dropped the cigarette he had finished smoking on the floor and stepped on it hard. When Jaehong saw his face, he added,

   “Just kidding, just kidding.”

   At that moment, the phone in Jaeyoung’s pants pocket rang loudly. He had been working until now and didn’t know if anyone else was calling. Annoyed, Jaeyoung took out his phone, but his expression changed when he looked at the screen.

   [Incoming call, Baby.]

   Jaeyoung slid his finger to answer the call without realizing it, and then brought the communication device up to his ear. As he was about to call out the name without paying attention, he stopped because Jaehong was watching him.

   [Hyung…]

   He quickly lowered the volume, feeling that the other side’s voice was particularly loud. Then he made eye contact with Jae-hong. Jaeyoung walked past the other side and checked to make sure no one was around the building before picking up the phone again.

   “Oh, what’s up?”

   The heart was pounding just because the other side called.

   [I found a bug today, so I tried testing it…]

   Sangwoo talked about his own work with a slightly excited tone, and the meaningless words flowed through his ears, but Jaeyoung didn’t mind.

   [The performance has improved a lot. I’ll try to put it on the phone and see how great it is when you come back tomorrow night.]

   “Really? You did a great job.”

   [Yes, but to be honest, when it’s too tight, I’m not sure if I can do the unlimited mode with some features. I’m worried about that.]

   “Just cut it out and release the game.”

   [I just want to make it perfect.]

   “Let’s think about it together tomorrow night.”

   Jaeyoung leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Although he felt guilty towards Sangwoo, he didn’t care about the game at all now, he just wanted to hear the other side’s voice. Jaeyoung was too tired, still in a tense and cold state.

   [Actually, it’s just an excuse.]

   After a long silence, Sangwoo spoke up.

   “What do you mean?”

   [I tested it alone and will tell you the version later, but I just called to say hello.]

   “…”

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 68: Yellow #10.

   [Mother: Youngah, uncle passed away. – 11:32][1].

   [Mother: He will be buried on the 23rd, will you come back to have dinner together this evening? – 11:33].

   The short message made Jaeyoung feel worse. It meant that the family gathering in October would be more intense. Uncle was always the troublesome one, whether when he was alive or when he passed away. Just the thought of having to meet with the “blood relatives” made him feel even worse. But Jaeyoung replied with acknowledgement that he understood it.

   After finishing dinner and bathing, Jaeyoung removed all his earrings and changed into an outfit that would not be easily recognized. He prepared a black suit, clothes for three days, contacts, and the necessary food, and left the house at 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

   Jaeyoung started the car and called Sangwoo, but the other side did not answer. Sangwoo often kept his phone silent, so he rarely answered calls immediately.

   [Going out of town for three days – funeral – 14:02].

   He left a message and started his journey.

   After driving for three and a half hours, Jaeyoung arrived at his destination. He could smell the sea through the slightly opened window. It was still early for dinner, even though he was right by the sea. But this province was not romantically attractive at all. It felt as if a heavy stone was weighing down on him when he reached the area near the factory buildings.

   After checking in at the hotel his mother had booked, he left his belongings in the room and headed towards the room of the other party. He met his mother for the last time at the family gathering last year so this was the first time after seven months they had met. He heard a faint knock on the door, then the door opened, and a well-dressed boy appeared. Before opening the door wide with a smiling face.

   “Hello, Phii Jaeyoung!”

   “Hi.”

   Jaeyoung walked past the boy who greeted him with a ninety-degree bow and entered the room. His surname was Jang, while the boy’s surname was Park.

   Jaeyoung felt the distance between them with their different surnames.

   The mother sat at the dressing table in a black fishtail dress with offshoulder design. Both her outfit and makeup were beautifully done, like a bride.

   Jaeyoung smirked inside at the image that he didn’t know if he should mourn or shoot a gun to celebrate.

   “Youngah? You have arrived?”

   The young woman looked at herself in the mirror and then turned to look at Jaeyoung. She looked so young and handsome that it was hard to believe she would be turning fifty next year. As Jaeyoung approached, she examined his face and outfit as if inspecting. Then she shrugged and hugged him, patting his back a few times.

   “Son, you’re becoming more handsome as you grow up.”

   “What happened to Uncle?”

   “The blood vessels in his brain burst, and his heart almost stopped. He is usually so dramatic. I’ve been thinking that it has to be like this.”

   Jaeyoung paused before pulling away from his mother’s embrace and stepped back a little. Then his younger brother ran in and hugged their mother. She patted the child’s shoulder and examined her own appearance in the mirror.

   “How about your studies? How are they going?”

   “Just as I said.”

   “Are you finally going to graduate?”

   “Yeah.”

   “What is with that apathetic expression? Joo Hyuk seems to have entered a prosecutor training institution as well. If you graduate, your grandfather will probably make a big fuss again. If you finish this, will you continue studying abroad in the same country as before?”

   “Yeah.”

   “But make sure your grandpa doesn’t find out, okay?”

   Those words meant not to let relatives suspect anything. She patted her perfectly styled hair before examining her son’s face for any signs. She wiped the corner of his mouth and turned her gaze towards Jaeyoung.

   “Young-ah, your uncle died. You know that there will be a big fuss again.

   You yourself have earned a lot of points to earn a place with your grandfather.

   We don’t know what will happen.”

   Jaeyoung chuckled without saying anything. The eldest uncle inherited the grandfather’s business and was the one who received the most inheritance.

   Now he’s gone, and there will probably be a dispute over that division.

   “Is there enough money?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Hong, hasn’t he contacted you? Is he in Korea?”

   “I don’t know.”

   Jaeyoung tried to check his mobile phone but found no calls or messages.

   From Jang Jaehong, after checking his message reply saying “I understand.” From Sangwoo, he put his mobile phone back in his bag.

   “If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave.”

   “Um, let’s pay respects at the hospital first. Let’s meet for lunch at 1pm.

   Don’t be late, okay?”

   Jaeyoung turned around and heard the voice of a boy shouting after him,

   “Goodbye, Phii Jaeyoung!”

   Jaeyoung didn’t go to lunch late. Even if he was always late no matter where he went, there’s only one exception here.

   The lowest quality humans in the world gathered together in a grand hall illuminated by dim lights from crystal-decorated chandeliers hanging from the high white ceilings. Classical music was also being performed. Everyone sat around the large table without speaking. As soon as the old man entered, they all stood up and moved towards him. “Grandpa, why are you so strong? I miss you, grandpa. It’s been a while since you looked so young,” Jaeyoung sat in his usual place, looking at his mother’s son who was holding the old man’s hand.

   His grandfather was a gentleman of taste. His gray colored tailored suit looked great on his still strong figure, it was as sharp as a blade, matching his handmade black leather shoes. Below that, from his wristwatch, he displayed his high-quality cufflinks[2] which reflected his wealth, and on the finger of his left hand was a wedding ring that he never took off, despite his wife’s passing. His hair, which was mixed with white, was smoothly combed back. It’s not easy for someone over seventy years old to look this good.

   The old man sat down and swept his gaze around the large dining table. He loved the gathering of his large family, which included people from his own clan. His eyes glanced around the table, which had no one missing without a proper reason “everyone was present except for the funeral host, his wife’s large sister, his son-in-law who went to work in another province, and his two other nieces and nephews”, until he spotted Jaeyoung. Their eyes met and they exchanged playful glances.

   “Has the puppy come?”

   Jaeyoung walked over to the man with his arms crossed, smiling in his eyes. As he got closer, he smelled the familiar scent of cologne and the strong lingering smell of cigarettes that never changed since he was a child. Jaeyoung liked the scent of the other person. The warm and strong hug of his grandfather was different from his mother’s hug. With a sigh, he felt like he was transported back to his childhood.

   “Yes, I’m here now.”

   “I really miss you.”

   The man who never felt embarrassed to express his feelings whispered.

   “I feel the same way.”

   Jaeyoung spoke sincerely from his heart. This man is the only one he likes here. If it weren’t for his grandfather, Jaeyoung wouldn’t have to tread into this place. As he returned to his seat, the jealous eyes subtly glanced at his face.

   While the food was being served, the exchange of conversations followed the protocol. However, these were all insincere words. For example, “Still youthful, why did you come back so quickly?” The company lost a highly capable employee as a result. However, once the main course was served, nobody mentioned the person who had died. Because the hot-tempered and manipulative man was everyone’s enemy from the beginning. Even his grandfather didn’t like him.

   And so, This Kid Is Great phase arrived, or a period of promoting one’s own children. The three children of the old man brought their own children to show off and eagerly looked for any opportunity to impress. Among all these people, his mother was the most enthusiastic.

   “This child is very smart. I wonder if he is as smart as your grandfather. He also got into the Advanced Class. And he got into the first place too, you know.”

   “Oh, really? What is this child’s name then?”

   “His name is Soongmin. He died, now everyone should remember him, right?”

   The old grandfather valued his family and the importance of love, and he viewed the world in a democratic way. Therefore, he treated his married daughter as an outsider and did not care about relatives without the Shin surname.

   “When will Youngah go abroad to study?”

   The only exception was Jaeyoung, who came as the old man youngest’s daughter after divorcing. This grandfather had been watching him since he was a child because he looked so much like him. After the mother remarried, Jaeyoung’s position in the family became problematic. So his grandfather took him in and raised him at home, forming a bond.

   “In July.”

   “It won’t be long now. What should this old man do if he misses his puppy when he goes to America?”

   When his grandfather openly expressed his love, the sound of coughing increased from all directions. Then, various voices of praise followed, full of insincerity like “I really miss him”, “How can we wait until he finishes studying?”, “No matter where Jaeyoung goes, he will surely do well.”

   However, as soon as the grandfather left his seat temporarily, the atmosphere changed immediately.

   “So what have you been doing during this time?”

   An aunt who just got hair done in the mall asked, and the husband from the other party is a doctor. Their daughter is also a doctor and their son-in-law is also a doctor. As for their son, he is on his way to becoming a prosecutor. They all have a sense of superiority and arrogance. The older sister, who is both a sister and a cousin, wore branded clothes from head to toe and proudly said,

   “I heard that you were supposed to graduate last year.”

   “There are still things to catch up on, so I will continue my studies next semester.”

   The mother’s face that asked to keep this matter a secret began to wrinkle as Jaeyoung skillfully lied without feeling the need to do so.

   “So you’re still a student, huh? Our Joohyuk has been accepted into a training institute.”

   The uncle in-law thought his insult would leave Jaeyoung speechless, but

   Jaeyoung had undergone training like a pig or a dog. He was unaffected by such attacks.

   “If Joohyuk had gone to the military like me, then he would also be continuing studying like me.”

   “Seriously, look at this kid. How many kids can go straight to the military like this?”

   The Younger Sister in law helped to support him. Because her own son couldn’t pass the military exemption policy either. So Jaeyoung laughed and turned the conversation back.

   “There might be more people with diseases in their 20s. Your grandfather is still worried about how Eunsong can work with lung disease at this age.”

   The table went silent. Both Aunt and Aunt in-law did not withdraw their investments from this attack. Because their grandfather was a “nationalist.” He didn’t like it when his grandchildren took shortcuts to evade their responsibilities in protecting the country.

   “Jaeyoung, are you still doing that? Drawing pictures on the ceiling tiles.”

   Now it’s the youngest uncle who joined the group. This person is an alcoholic, not very bright, and always fails in every business attempt. Now he’s just a useless person working under the distribution company that his grandfather established.

   “Does this mean doing graffiti? I have been doing it as a hobby all the time, perhaps?”

   “After graduating, you might work drawing pictures in exchange for money. Why don’t you draw my face? Maybe you’d want payment for some pocket money.”

   The other party reached into his shirt pocket, took out a marker, and threw it in front of Jaeyoung. Jaeyoung replied without hesitation.

   “Uncle, maybe you can try selling phones to me. It’s time for me to change my phone, so I’m thinking whether to buy it or not to spare the waste of a salesman.”

   Then the uncle cursed him, saying, “You useless brat.” His daughter and son quickly grabbed his arms to hold him back. The aunt also helped, saying that it’s because he has diluted family blood. Even though his mother’s face turned pale with anger, she was oppressed in every aspect. Age, assets, and social status. In a place filled with only strong people like this, her right to speak almost didn’t exist.

   ________________________________________.

[1]      Young-ah comes from  ”Young,” which is a nickname for Jaeyoung, and “Ah” “아”  is a suffix used to call family members or close friends. It’s used at the end  of a spelled name.

[2]      Cufflinks, one of the accessories for men, are used to connect the cuffs of a shirt instead of using buttons.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 67: Yellow #9.

   After finishing their meal, both of them got up without saying anything.

   Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo, who took out a black debit card from his wallet at the corner of the table to pay for the meal. Although everything belonging to the other party, including the wallet, clothes, hat, wristwatch, and sneakers, looked clean but old, it seemed that the guy was not picky, but just not extravagant.

   “Come on, let’s go together.”

   At the restaurant entrance, Jaeyoung held Sangwoo’s arm before the other party could leave. They looked at each other. The other party tried to speak first with a hesitant expression, but no matter what, he would refuse, after going here and there with Sangwoo for several months. Jaeyoung began to be able to force the other party, speaking calmly.

   “You threw my shirt yesterday, didn’t you?”

   “So what?”

   “If so, I guess I have to buy more clothes.”

   “I guess so.”

   “I’ll go buy it now, and you have to come and see if it suits me.”

   His expressionless face suddenly turned into a frown. Jaeyoung guessed what the other party was thinking before smiling and reassuring him.

   “If I buy something strange and waste money, you have to take responsibility for it.”

   “What are you talking about?”

   Sangwoo frowned at Jaeyoung before widening his eyes and thinking of something. The other party remained silent for a moment before speaking up.  “I understand. If we’re going, let’s hurry up.”

   Jaeyoung was surprised by his good luck that exceeded his expectations, and walked towards the nearby shopping mall with Sangwoo, who was grinning from ear to ear. This was the first time he had seen the other party show off his good mood. Jaeyoung was intrigued.

   “You’re funny, hyung.” Sangwoo chuckled as they crossed the zebra crossing.

   “Why?”

   “I just asked you to buy it for me. There’s no need to beat around the bush like that.”

   “…”

   “I already said I’ll buy it for you. Do you think I’m lying?”

   Jaeyoung couldn’t control his facial expression and covered his mouth, laughing quietly.

   “Come on, let’s go. I’ll buy myself some nice clothes.”

   The young man jogged to catch up with Sangwoo, who was walking briskly ahead.

   Since it was a weekend, the shopping mall was crowded. Sangwoo, who looked like a student, didn’t seem to fit in with the perfume and cosmetics stores that were bustling behind them, so they climbed down the escalator to the sports equipment and casual wear zone on the third floor.

   After walking in and out of a few stores and scanning their surroundings, Jaeyoung dragged Sangwoo into a jeans outlet before being scolded for looking at jeans despite leaving his t-shirt behind. He quickly looked for a pair of usable jeans, looking for bright colors as the main criteria. When he picked out a pair of gray jeans that were almost white, Sangwoo’s facial expression didn’t seem to be pleased.

   “What’s wrong with these?”

   “The knee is torn.”

   “Just that?”

   Although it was a small flaw that was almost invisible, the other party always seemed to notice it and was dissatisfied. Jaeyoung gave up on that pair of jeans and looked for another, but no matter which one he picked, there was always some defect, such as an odd-shaped pocket or a stiff zipper.

   “Here, this one is okay.”

   “That one is okay too.”

   He picked up a plain beige pair of trousers and a black denim pair, draped them over his arm, and prepared to tell the cashier to ring them up. Meanwhile, Jaeyoung was left gaping at a particular pair of pants that caught his eye.

   They were a light blue pair of slim-fit jeans that resembled the color of the sky. He measured them with his eyes and quickly inspected every part of them – one button, no rips or tears, a normal pocket, and the stitching looked tight and good. If he folded the pants a little to reveal the ankle, it felt like blood was rushing to his head. Jaeyoung was excited and quickly went into the fitting room to change and show the other party.

   “Sangwoo! Sangwoo! Look at this, is this pretty?”

   Sangwoo, who was hugging his chest and looking elsewhere, walked closer and looked at Jaeyoung’s lower half.

   “It’s too bright… but it’s okay for you to wear. But it seems a bit small, buy one size bigger than this.”

   This was considered a special permission… Jaeyoung smiled and went back to change his clothes and came out again holding the three pants to the cashier. Sangwoo took out his card and made a gesture to hand it over. Jaeyoung pushed his arm to the side and handed his own credit card to the salesperson.

   “What’s going on?”

   “You will be buying something more expensive.”

   Sangwoo’s face turned sour, but there was no time now… Jaeyoung grabbed the other party’s shoulder, and they headed to another store. After walking past several stores without finding anything, they arrived at a high-quality Tshirt store. There were various T-shirts hanging on racks, walls, and mannequins. Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s shoulder, who seemed uninterested in this store, and directed him to look at the hanging T-shirts.

   “You should look too, maybe there’s something you can wear.”

   “Anything looks good on you.”

   He didn’t mean it that way. Jaeyoung kept picking out T-shirts one after another – a red T-shirt, a cute T-shirt with a pocket on the chest, a formal Tshirt with buttons, and a yellow T-shirt that reminded him of a baby chick. Although he wanted to make the other party try on every T-shirt, Sangwoo criticized everything Jaeyoung picked out.

   “There’s too much pattern.”

   “The sleeves are weird.”

   “It’s too short.”

   “Too thick.”

   “Too thin.”

   The other party argued and refused to cooperate as expected. Jaeyoung couldn’t help but pick out two or three white T-shirts, sorting out the ones that were too thin or too thick, had faded patterns, or missing stitches, until only one white V-neck T-shirt was left. Jaeyoung examined the T-shirt carefully. It was made of good quality fabric, had a comfortable design that revealed his collarbone, and had black lines around the deep neckline.

   ‘Is this the shirt made for Chu Sangwoo?’

   Jaeyoung tried the shirt on Sangwoo’s body. Then he immediately picked up a green and red striped shirt of the same design and paid for it. This time, Sangwoo missed the opportunity to pay again. Once out of the store, he complained quietly.

   “Why did you bring me here if it’s going to be like this?”

   “You’re the carry thing one.” Jaeyoung replied, sending all the shopping bags to Sangwoo. Although he had a dissatisfied expression, Sangwoo took the bag and followed quietly, checking the time on his phone. His heart was getting hotter. Jaeyoung walked into a large men’s clothing brand store and explored the men’s section.

   “Welcome! May I know which style you prefer?”

   The male staff walked over to greet them cheerfully. When Sangwoo pointed to Jaeyoung, the staff said that there was a suitable item for the customer and took out various styles from the shelf.

   “What style are you interested in?”

   “I want something that looks good.”

   “Then, how about this one? This is the most popular short-legged underwear style among teenagers nowadays. It is made of special fine fiber fabric, has a good butt-lifting effect, and feels tight. The edge has a highlight.

   Touch the fabric. It feels very sexy, doesn’t it? I think it suits you very well.”

   Jaeyoung turned to look at Sangwoo, who had been standing far away without pointing or moving. When he was sure that the other party was not going anywhere, he pulled out the short-legged underwear that the staff handed over to him. It was a good quality underwear with no highlights other than the brand name embroidered on the edge. The fabric was smooth and comfortable to wear. Jaeyoung aimed at the underwear before speaking hesitantly.

   “You are quite big down there. Is this not too small?”

   Although the staff looked at him like he was crazy, he recommended size L. After paying for a set of five underwear, he threw the box to Sangwoo, who took it and put it in the bag.

   “Why did you buy pants? And taking my stuff should be enough.”

   “It’s my business.”

   With little time left, while feeling regretful and preparing to leave, Jaeyoung was stopped in front of the wall of the store full of baseball caps, making it impossible for him to pass by casually. Jaeyoung dragged Sangwoo, who was looking at his wristwatch, to stop in front of the paradise of caps.

   “Choose quickly, please.”

   “There are already so many caps. Should I buy something else?”

   What did he expect from the other party? Jaeyoung looked at the display shelf carefully, cutting out logos of big baseball teams, special shapes, cutting them out, too flashy colors, cutting them out, black caps are worn every day.

   Cut them out, cut them out, cut them out, so there were only a few caps left.

   “What about this one?”

   Jaeyoung picked up the white snapback cap on top to look at it. Although there was an abbreviation of the name of the baseball team pinned on it, it was difficult to see because it was white like the background if the fabric was not too thin or too thick, and the shape was beautiful.

   “What about this one?”

   “It’s okay.”

   “Really?”

   Although he chose his clothes confidently, knowing Sangwoo’s size well, for the cap, it was difficult to guess without trying it on. Jaeyoung quickly took off the black cap before Sangwoo could refuse and put on the white cap.

   ‘What is it?’

   Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo standing still, just changing the color of the cap, he felt that the appearance of the other party looked fresher. Although it seemed a bit big, just adjusting the snapback strap should be fine.

   “It suits you well, it’s cute.”

   Jaeyoung tried to persuade himself that he wanted to hug the person in front of him right now. Then he took off the cap again, quickly paid and stuffed the cap into a bag. Meanwhile, Sangwoo only looked at his wristwatch with an uneasy face.

   “All set. Let’s go now.”

   “You must be rich. You can buy unnecessary clothes like this all at once.”

   “It’s necessary.”

   Sangwoo laughed and teased openly, making those who wore tight sevenpiece shirts and three-piece pants feel ridiculous. Hearing his words, they must have felt amused. Now, there were only thirty minutes left before parttime work began. They hurriedly descended the stairs to the first floor, secretly thinking that the other party might crack a joke about what they were wearing, but Sangwoo did not say anything except for opening an app on his phone to check the bus schedule.

   “My legs hurt so much, please hail me a taxi.”

   “Did the person with the sore legs walk around shopping for clothes for an hour and a half?”

   Jaeyoung pretended to be sick with a pitiful face, he coughed for a moment, and when he straightened up, he met Sangwoo who was staring at him smoking.

   “Is it only your legs? How about your lungs, with all that screaming last night.”

   “[Ka-hk]! Ka… ugh!”

   “Are you really not feeling well?”

   “Ugh.”

   “It’s okay. I can’t help you anyway.”

   Sangwoo stood on the roadside and hailed a taxi himself before turning to call Jaeyoung to get in the car. When they got in the car, he saw the other party trying to leave, so he pulled the other’s arm and brought him into the taxi.

   Jaeyoung quickly closed the door and told the driver to head to the train station near the game store. Then the taxi started moving. Sangwoo sat up from where he was lying on the seat and complained.

   “Huh. Really… Why are you so irritable today? And I keep speaking ambiguously.”

   “Why?”

   “I know that you hyung is always like this, but today you are worse than usual.”

   It’s no use. When he thought there was no time left, he became impatient. Jaeyoung leaned back on the seat with a bitter feeling. When he looked at the bag of clothes, he suddenly felt suffocated. This was not enough. Jaeyoung wanted to give Sangwoo more than this.

   “Sangwooya.”

   “What’s wrong?”

   “Nothing.”

   He rubbed his wrist with a calm face before turning away.

   Jaeyoung wanted to try choosing a long coat for Sangwoo to wear in the autumn, a down jacket for him to wear when climbing mountains in the winter, and a cardigan for him to wear in the fruit leaf season. He wanted to buy various types of sneakers, in various colors, and from various brands for the smallfooted person like a child to wear. He wanted to take the other party to a hair salon and try different hairstyles.

   “I had noodles today. Next time, I want to eat Jampang [1], a ten-dish set, Peking duck, curry, Burmese tea leaf salad, Budae [2] steamed fish, I want to eat them all together. Just thinking about it, Jaeyoung felt breathless.”

   “But today was a good surprise.”

   “What?”

   “It’s a real holiday, but so many people like to dress up and gather together.

   I was surprised.”

   Jaeyoung smiled slightly and glanced at Sangwoo. Sangwoo sat still, then raised his hand above his head and pulled Jaeyoung’s hand down to hold it. When the other party naturally intertwined their fingers, the sadness and regret they received from that party yesterday were erased. Jaeyoung looked out the window with a calm face, but his expectations made his heart beat faster. If this isn’t a taxi, he would probably park the car now. Then he pushed the other party to lie down and kissed him.

   “Being with you hyung, it feels like I’ve tried something new all the time, because when I bought clothes with my mom, it didn’t take this long.”

   “So is it good or not?”

   “There are good and bad and if I have to be honest… Oh, we’re here. I’ll get off here.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t hear the word “good” because the taxi arrived near the internet cafe. Sangwoo opened his wallet, took out two ten-thousand won bills, and handed them to the taxi driver.

   “This is for the fare. Please send this person home.”

   After speaking, he handed two ten-thousand won bills to Jaeyoung.

   “This is for the T-shirt. I’ll go now.”

   The other party is also meticulous. Jaeyoung took the money and put it in his wallet before putting all the shopping bags in Sangwoo’s hand.

   “These are all yours, take them.”

   “What?”

   “I bought them for you to wear.”

   Sangwoo was half-standing and half-sitting at the open taxi door, looking at the shopping bag without putting it down, and then looked at Jaeyoung with a tense face.

   “No, I can’t accept this. Take it back.”

   “You sound like Geum Jan Di [3].”

   Jaeyoung took out several torn receipts from his pants pocket and pushed Sangwoo out with the shopping bag.

   “That’s for last night’s accommodation, have a good rest.”

   Then he closed the door in front of Sangwoo, whose face was painted with shock until he couldn’t speak. After giving his address, the taxi drove away again. Outside the window, the silhouette of Sangwoo, who looked like a broken robot, gradually receded until the image of the other party became small and insignificant. Jaeyoung then turned his gaze away from the window and sat up straight, the sense of relief and disappointment he felt last night fading away unnoticed.

   ______________________________________________________________

   ____.

[1]           Jampang, spicy seafood soup noodles.

[2]           Budaegiji-gae, Korean hot pot.

[3]           Geum Jan-di, the heroine of the Korean drama “Boys Over Flowers”, F4, Korean version.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 66: Yellow #8.

   ‘Are we going to be fuck buddies?’

   ‘Yes.’

   ‘Um, well… let’s try it out.’

   There wasn’t really any problem at first, but it was clear that it was too good to be true. However, when he thought about Sangwoo possibly starting a relationship with someone else in the future, he felt so bad that he couldn’t stand it.

   Jaeyoung felt a strong contradiction with his own feelings, causing him to have a headache. As Sangwoo said they went back and forth to vent their emotions and drain their balls with each other, that was the reality. On the other hand, the confusion that Jaeyoung was feeling now was different, it was an error.

   “Are you leaving now?”

   Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung with a puzzled expression. Seeing his face, it seemed like he was going to leave. No matter how you looked at it, he seemed like a child who wasn’t mature enough to have love. I don’t know anything about the complex emotional exchange between humans, even if Jaeyoung explained his feelings right now. The other party probably wouldn’t understand anything.

   “Are you going to go?”

   But as he met Sangwoo’s gaze, Jaeyoung felt like his anger was slowly fading away. Even though the other party’s words were not pleasant to hear, it was due to ignorance, so he couldn’t blame Chu Sangwoo. Besides, the other party didn’t say anything that was unreasonable.

   ‘Is it really possible? How can we tie one person to us?’

   Generally, love is said to have a lifespan of six months before it expires. In Jaeyoung’s case, it was much shorter. There were countless relationships that ended within a month. Although this type of relationship was never experienced before, he knew that even the intense feelings he was experiencing now would soon fade away. If that was the case, it would be good for Sangwoo himself to not have any unrealistic expectations and believe that what he was feeling was a feeling that he had never experienced before, and that it was a love that fate was predetermined.

   It must be calm, clear, and not cross the line.

   But this is not the time to worry about others. Sometimes, people are caught up in a dream and believe that what they are feeling is something they have never experienced before, and it may be a love that fate has predetermined, even if it may be for themselves. Jaeyoung felt a bitter taste in his mouth after just brushing his teeth.

   Something in the middle. Not all, proceed, or stop. A yellow light that is not green or red. Jaeyoung did not like anything that was ambiguous like that.

   ‘Just interested in the feeling right now is enough.’

   Jaeyoung slowly lay down again before raising his hand to stroke Sangwoo’s smooth face and planting a kiss on his forehead. The other side looked suspicious.

   “Don’t worry about the future, just think about the present.”

   “I’m not like some people.”

   “That’s funny. And I don’t know what someone like that would do to me when he is naked.”

   “That’s because I was tricked by you, hyung.”

   “So what. Do you feel regret?”

   Sangwoo looked into Jaeyoung’s eyes and shook his head slowly before leaning in for another embrace. Jaeyoung took a deep breath and used his palm to stroke the other’s back and shoulders, instead of worrying about the future that he didn’t know how it would be, he chose to live in the present, that is

   Jaeyoung’s way of life. At this moment, he wanted to do everything for Sangwoo.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “Yes.”

   “You don’t want anything? just my sneakers, watch, and hat.”

   “No, just bring the hat I left in the car last Friday.”

   “Or something else, graphics card, monitor, portable hard drive.”

   “That’s enough. People who don’t know about computers will not be involved in anything, and the seniors don’t know how expensive it is.”

   “…”

   The conversation ended there. Sangwoo probably wanted to sleep.

   Jaeyoung closed his eyes, his body exhausted from the intense love making.

   “I want Veggie Venturer to be successful.”

   In that context, Sangwoo suddenly perked up, as if it was the answer to the question of what he wanted. Jaeyoung hesitated before answering.

   “Based on what we’ve done so far, the output [1] can be used.”

   “That’s not enough. It has to be popular and accepted by people.”

   That was a strange statement, because in reality, indie games cannot expect market results and therefore it is difficult to sell a lot. It is enough to use it to enhance the quality of the portfolio, but why does someone who never wanted anything become obsessed with gaining popularity in the market?

   “Why though?”

   Sangwoo hesitated to answer. He probably didn’t want to answer anymore, but he knew that if he kept being asked, he would eventually give in, especially when Jaeyoung was about to ask again. So, Sangwoo continued, “Because it’s a game that I made with you. When I think about it, I feel really good that it was a huge success and was well-received as intended. I want to feel that way again.”

   “What is it? Do you think I’ll be impressed by you talking like that?”

   But judging from the feeling in his chest, he was probably really impressed.

   Jaeyoung already knew that Chu Sangwoo, who didn’t understand romantic relationships in the way of couples, liked him in his own way, including saving pictures, playlists, remembering eye contact and shoe sizes, as well as being obsessed with work beyond necessity, not just because of his tendency to cling to perfection.

   Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s chin and kissed him on the same organ, the skin of his lips that had been relentlessly rubbed all night, still soft and moist as before. He kissed and sucked lightly, kissing, kissing, kissing. Then Sangwoo smiled and closed his eyes.

   He changed his gaze to the shape of his lips, which had changed slightly. Then he kissed loudly, kissing, kissing. Once again, he found that Sangwoo’s hand was holding Jaeyoung’s cheek, and the tongues of both were intertwined, along with the changed lips. The gentle bird kiss [2]turned into a passionate French kiss. He didn’t know if it was the feeling or the desire that made the sensation that arose from the touch hotter than the body temperature. Jaeyoung was once again obsessed with Sangwoo with a confused feeling, while thinking that today’s performance left him sated, but the feeling of wanting another round with Sangwoo was still compressed in his stomach.

   Sangwoo, who had spoken like that about being human and having enough sex for today, forgot his own words and set his mind to draw Jaeyoung’s tongue, and the tongues of both were intertwined, along with the changed lips. The romantic kiss lasted longer than expected. Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo away before the stimulated emotions became too intense. The other party licked his lips with a regretful expression that showed through his eyes. He then used his finger to wipe the saliva from the corner of Sangwoo’s mouth.

   “I guess I’m not human. I lack human qualities.”

   Jaeyoung smiled and pinched Sangwoo’s nose with his finger.

   “It’s a shame that we’ve run out of condoms.”

   “Should I go buy some?”

   “You won’t be able to walk tomorrow, but if you want to go, go ahead.”

   “I’ll have someone at work get them for us. I’ll think about paying them.”

   He had to hold onto the person who responded to the joke tightly so that the other party wouldn’t leave. Although Jaeyoung was in a state of reduced human qualities, he didn’t even have the strength to move one arm, so he wanted to sleep.

   “Good night.”

   Sangwoo ran his fingers through Jaeyoung’s hair before planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Jaeyoung’s lips curved into a wide smile, as if the man he was dating like to imitate whatever he encountered. Jaeyoung squirmed quietly, avoiding Sangwoo’s gaze as he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, afraid that if he spoke what was on his mind right now, he would be kicked out of the room with just his pants on.

   “Sangwoo-ya.”

   “…Yes.”

   The other side replied with a half-asleep, half-awake voice.

   If he said what was in his head right now, he would definitely run out of the room in just his underwear. Jaeyoung curled up quietly and pulled Sangwoo, who was lying on his back staring at the ceiling to sleep, into a hug.

   ⌘W.

   When he woke up in the morning, Jaeyoung felt a throbbing headache. He looked up at the ceiling, which was blurry and flickering, and when he turned his head to the side, he caught Sangwoo’s gaze, who had propped his chin on his arm and was looking at him.

   ‘I guess we should stay here. Really.’

   When he looked at the clock on the wall, it was already eleven o’clock.

   “Did you sleep well?”

   “I’m so tired that I slept like a log and didn’t feel anything.”

   “Are you feeling better today?”

   “I don’t feel great, but I’m not so bad that I can’t move.”

   Jaeyoung felt both nauseous and had a headache. He wasn’t in a state to worry about anyone else, so he drank a little alcohol, not much, but mixed several things together and was still energetic all night.

   It seemed like he was about to faint without realizing it. Sangwoo, who was curious about his expression, asked.

   “What’s wrong?”

   “I have a headache.”

   “Then go home and rest.”

   It seemed like the other party was trying to drive him out of his own space, but he didn’t want to separate from the person in front of him. Jaeyoung pondered for a moment before finding an excuse.

   “Can you buy me lunch?”

   “Why should I buy you lunch?”

   “I did so well yesterday, so you have to repay me, right? Yesterday, you rushed me and said, ‘Hyung’ go deeper. It was…”

   Sangwoo jumped up on the bed and eagerly covered his mouth. Jaeyoung took the opportunity to hug him and speak softly.

   “Look, you’re in the mood for another round again this morning. Let me find something to eat first before doing anything else. Don’t you know why the mistress gave food to the salvage[3]?”

   “It’s not like that!”

   Sangwoo frowned and slipped out of bed before stalking away to another corner of the room to speak.

   “I understand. Yesterday… well… it was good, so I’ll feed you from now on.”

   Jaeyoung smiled and walked to the bathroom, taking a quick shower before getting dressed and realizing that he had left his T-shirt behind. As for his pants, he couldn’t find them.

   “Where did you hide my pants?”

   “I have taken them to the laundry..”

   “Really? You’re like a carpenter who stole the wings of a goddess [4], but you did nothing wrong.”

   “You’re so kind, keep acting like this. What’s the difference between you and a python that ate the farmer who saved its life, right?”

   The other party frowned. Jaeyoung walked to the hanger and examined the few clothes that he could wear. He felt familiar with the hanger because he had seen it often.

   While he was examining the colorless clothes on the hanger, Sangwoo moved closer and spoke with a serious expression.

   “If you borrow it this time, you have to return it. Do you understand?

   Promise me.”

   “I understand.”

   Jaeyoung replied without thinking and picked out a dark green shirt and black linen pants. He looked at the tag and found that the pants were size 32 and the shirt was size 105 ‘L’ he didn’t know why the size was M, but he liked to wear oversized clothes like this.

   “Don’t you have a white T-shirt?”

   “I don’t buy white shirts because they get dirty easily.”

   ‘It would look really good on him.’

   He complained inwardly as he put his legs into the pants. Once he put on the straight-leg pants, he felt like a nerd. The shirt that used to look loose and sloppy on Sangwoo now fits perfectly on Jaeyoung’s shoulders. The young man unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves twice. Once he tucked in his shirt and looked at himself, he realized that he didn’t look too bad.

   Sangwoo pursed his lips slightly and looked at Jaeyoung admiringly. He already knew what style the other party liked. If he dressed formally or neatly without glasses, the other party would look at him like that all the time.

   “You can stop staring now. You’re going to make a hole.”

   “…It doesn’t look like my clothes.”

   “Hope you like it. Want to go once more?”

   As he moved closer and placed his hand on his waist, Sangwoo’s face turned red and he looked angry.

   “No time! I have to hurry up and eat before going to my part-time job.”

   “Just put it on quickly, be confident.”

   “Crazy, why do that?”

   As he leaned in and whispered in his ear, Sangwoo pushed him away hard before walking away towards the door.

   When they came out of the apartment, the sun was shining in the middle of the sky. The weather was clear and hot like summer, they walked together on the main road before hailing a taxi.

   Jaeyoung pulled Sangwoo to sit on the back seat and sat next to him, telling the driver their destination. Then he leaned back and lightly touched the hand of the person next to Sangwoo, without shaking his hand, just looking straight ahead without saying anything.

   They went to eat at the Vietnamese noodle shop where Jaeyoung was a regular. Jaeyoung ordered beef noodles while Sangwoo ordered fried rice.

   After drinking hot soup, he felt better.

   “It’s better like this.”

   Jaeyoung leaned back in his chair and looked up at the yellow ceiling before turning his gaze to the person sitting in front of him, wearing a cap like a singer, a checkered shirt that was a highlight of the engineering student’s dark jeans that he wondered when it was made. He looked past the clothing and looked at the person wearing it instead.

   The other person was eating with a focused expression, closing his mouth tightly while chewing on the left cheek, then the right cheek. The person in front of him was just eating, but he couldn’t take his eyes off him. If he ate a little messily, he might have touched his cheek, claiming to wipe it off, but the other person was not clumsy, so that wouldn’t happen. At that moment, Sangwoo raised his head slightly and made eye contact with Jaeyoung.

   “Why?”

   Jaeyoung scooped a spoonful of Sangwoo’s bowl without saying anything and ate a bite, seeing the other person eating with a calm expression. He thought the taste was not bad, but the spicy chicken fried rice was the only dish with a good taste.

   “How’s the taste?”

   “I don’t know. The spice smell is too strong.”

   “I mean, do you want to eat more?”

   “Um… yes.”

   “So it’s delicious, huh?”

   “It’s not just that.”

   Sangwoo spoke with his mouth full and started eating again. Jaeyoung let the other party eat, while he finished his own noodles. He had a good plan. If he wanted to act before Sangwoo went to his part-time job, he had to hurry.

   ____________________________________.

[1]      Output. Information, product, or something obtained from the production process that is exported from the computer circuit to display on peripheral devices, such as a monitor.

[2]      Bird, kiss. A light kiss that makes a “smooch” sound like when a bird pecks.

[3]      Why did the woman give rice to the salvage? It comes from a vintage drama, which is about a woman who shared food among male slaves to show her interest and desire for a relationship.

[4]      The Carpenter Who Stole the Fairy’s Wings. It comes from a story about a carpenter who stole the wings of a fairy in hopes of keeping her as his wife.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 65: Yellow #7.

   “We should be done now. I feel like I’ve lost a little bit of my humanity.”

   Sangwoo wiped his wet hair with a towel and prepared the bed because right after he came the second time. Then he went to take a shower and was pushed by the other party against the wall for another round. Jaeyoung thought that he had emptied everything and there was nothing left in his balls.

   “That’s it, stop jumping and egging me.”

   “That is funny, we had sex together and cummed together, why do you point fingers at me?”

   Sangwoo spoke boldly, wearing only pants and a patterned pajama set, ready to sleep. Jaeyoung looked at the other person before moving closer and using his thumb to trace the red mark on Sangwoo’s neck. Sangwoo didn’t like the aroused look on his face and threw a towel at him.

   “Go far away.”  “Just looking.”

   “Don’t believe it. Earlier, you said you just wanted to help me rubbing soap.”

   “Oh, did you attain enlightenment? Why do people who see the truth like this act like that in the bathroom, huh, hyung, fuck me… Faster, faster.”

   “Get out of my house now.”

   Jaeyoung laughed at those words. He didn’t take them seriously. Sangwoo stepped into the bathroom, put toothpaste on his brush, and held it in his mouth.

   “Can I have a toothbrush?”

   “Go back to your place and use yours.”

   “If I don’t brush now, it’ll be dirty.”

   Sangwoo just looked at the comb in Jaeyoung’s hair and continued brushing his teeth. Jaeyoung pretended to be lazy and said:

   “If you don’t give it to me, I’ll just use yours. It’s no big deal.”

   Sangwoo rolled his eyes with an annoyed face before picking up a toothbrush that hadn’t been opened yet and throwing it to Jaeyoung.

   “Spoiled.”

   Jaeyoung opened the toothbrush and put toothpaste on it before standing next to Sangwoo. Sangwoo stood straight like a soldier who had just finished training, unlike Jaeyoung who leaned against the wall with one hand. As they passed each other in the mirror, Jaeyoung playfully winked, but Sangwoo pretended not to see it. He had already switched to his “normal” mode.

   After Sangwoo left, Jaeyoung was the only one left in the empty bathroom. This was the first time he had ever seen such a simple bathroom. There was only a toothbrush, toothpaste, a roll of tissue, soap, and shampoo.

   Let’s think about it. Everything in this room is like this: one chair, one bowl of rice, one glass of water, and one set of spoon and chopsticks, as if to show the style of the owner who doesn’t easily welcome anyone.

   When he finished brushing their teeth, Jaeyoung put his toothbrush in the same glass as Sangwoo’s. Then he felt that the bathroom looked a little less empty than before.

   Exiting the bathroom, he found himself face to face with Sangwoo who was sweeping the room. On the other side, he picked up scattered rubber condom and rubber packets and threw them away before picking up the red geometric patterned Neo Prin shirt [1] that Jaeyoung had worn for consideration. The tight-necked shirt was stained with sweat and white smudges of cum.

   “I guess I’ll have to throw it away.”

   “I’m partly responsible, I’ll buy you a new one.”

   “No need.”

   “It’s okay. I’ll pay for the damages, about 20,000 won[2] right?”

   That was Jaeyoung’s most beloved shirt, which was ten times more expensive. It was also a limited edition that could no longer be purchased, but he didn’t say anything. When he finished cleaning the room, Sangwoo drank a glass of water before looking at Jaeyoung.

   “Can I borrow your shirt?”

   Jaeyoung now only had a towel around his waist. He searched in the drawer and took out Sangwoo’s pants quietly, even though he complained about wearing the same one he wore last time. But he let it pass.

   “You can’t go back like this, can you?”

   “I’ll stay and go back later.”

   “Who’s told you that you will be staying?”

   Sangwoo grumbled and lay down on the bed. It was almost three o’clock now. For Jaeyoung, who often stayed up late, it might not be a big deal, but for Sangwoo, it was time to sleep. Jaeyoung turned off the light before slipping under the blanket.

   “Are you serious?”

   “Uh.”

   “But this bed is for one person only, it can’t hold the weight of…”

   “If it was going to break, it would have broken by now, how long have we been fucking around on this bed, come on, be quiet and lie down.”

   Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo’s neck down to rest on his arm. Sangwoo blinked as if he was thinking about something, but in the end, he turned over and lay down on his side, as if giving up his thoughts. The other side lay with his eyes closed, as if trying to see through Sangwoo’s face. When they met eye to eye, his heart raced again. On a dark morning like this, for some reason, the other side only looked at him like that and refused to sleep. Jaeyoung gently brushed his wet hair and said,

   “Sangwooya.”

   “Yes.”

   “What are you thinking?”

   “…”

   “We have done even more embarrassing things together, what else do you have to be shy to say?”

   Sangwoo remained silent for a moment with a gloomy expression. Jaeyoung waited calmly. Then the other approached and hugged him tightly, causing his heart to race. Jaeyoung raised his hand and lightly stroked Sangwoo’s head. “I didn’t know I had this preference.” The other tightened the embrace.

   “This preference?”

   “Because I’ve never felt this good before. I was scared. Sometimes I thought it would be better not to get to know men.”

   Jaeyoung’s face suddenly turned into a cool smile. Not ‘Jang Jaeyoung’, but  ‘men.’ It was necessary to speak and destroy the atmosphere in times like this.

   But that was all. Chu Sangwoo probably didn’t know what he did wrong, and what the problem was.

   For a moment, Jaeyoung thought about explaining to Sangwoo in detail why he was upset, but he gave up because if he hoped for something more than this, all he would have was a commitment called dating. Jaeyoung wasn’t sure if he could convince someone who believed that dating should always lead to marriage that dating between men was right. Moreover…

   ‘In the end, won’t you still have to leave things off?’

   Yoona’s words flashed in his mind, and the exhaustion of looking towards the painful future made Jaeyoung uneasy. If they were ‘officially dating’, all the problems would probably be more complicated than they were now.

   “What are you thinking about?”

   It’s unclear how much time has passed… Sangwoo asked. Although this was the first time the other had asked such a question, Jaeyoung was too cool to feel sentimental and instead brought up another topic.

   “I’m wondering what month you were born in.”

   “October.”

   “What date?”

   “The first.”

   Jaeyoung chuckled a little. It was the 1001st [3]day from among the many dates there were. He thought he would never forget it.

   “It’s a good birthday for you.”

   “Why is that?”

   “The shape is proportional. Plus, it’s in binary.”

   Then the sound of laughter erupted immediately, ever since they started playing with the other party, this was the best response.

   “The way you think is really strange, hyung.”

   Jaeyoung wanted to say that the word made him feel bad when he had to listen to Sangwoo. Then he hugged tighter.

   “Is there anything you want as a birthday present?”

   “No.”

   While thinking that the other party had to answer like that, Sangwoo spoke as if it was not a big deal.

   “Why ask for no reason? Anyway, you will not be here anymore.”

   The arrow that he wanted to escape was still aimed at Jaeyoung’s head. Jaeyoung frowned. He did not understand why they had to talk about this after just spending quality time together, the silence that was suffocating for a long time, of course, Sangwoo probably did not think of anything special already. So it was frustrating for Jaeyoung alone, and he decided to break it straight.

   “Are you sad?”

   “There’s no reason to be sad. I think I should have done with the desire for men by then.”

   That answer made him feel worse than before.

   “Oh, do you think so?”

   “But I’m not sure if I will be successful or not. Think about the reason why you and I are doing this in the first place, Qing dynasty Generals, remember?”

   “…”

   “But I’m not sure if it’s successful or not. I’m still worried because it doesn’t seem to decrease the desire.”

   Jaeyoung didn’t know what to answer. No matter what meaningless things he heard, he could handle it well. Only this time he couldn’t solve the problem alone. When he saw Jaeyoung silent, Sangwoo continued.

   “It’s probably impossible, but suppose I still can’t handle it by then… I’ll just find someone else to replace you.”

   ‘He is getting too much. This kid.’

   Jaeyoung stood up and glared at Sangwoo. Even though he already knew that the other party was calm, cold and calculative, he knew that their temperatures were not the same, but when he heard it with his own ears, he felt like the blood in his body was freezing. ____________________________________.

   [1] Neoprene is a synthetic rubber blend fabric with high flexibility. [2] 20,000 won is approximately 600 baht.

   [3] 1001 comes from October 1st, because Korea writes dates in the yearmonth-day format.

      SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME

 

SMNTCERR, Chapter 64: Yellow #6.

The corners of their mouths pulled towards each other, and they leaned in without needing to say who restarted the kissing. They kissed each other and walked up the stairs, causing the lights on the ceiling that were once dim to shine brighter.

“Hah…hurry.”

Despite saying that, Jaeyoung pushed Sangwoo against the wall again before kissing him. Sangwoo, who was not yet prepared, looked rough and vulgar, which made the other party look seductive. One part of him wanted to hurry up and get to the room, but the other part wanted to have sex with the other party right here and now. These two desires clashed.

Therefore, it took a reasonable amount of time to get to the fourth floor. Although they were eager to get up, they couldn’t help but stand and kiss each other in front of the door for another moment before unlocking it.

Then, when they entered the cozy dark room, they both immediately threw themselves onto the bed. Sangwoo pushed Jaeyoung to lie down and then climbed on top of him, holding his cheeks in his hands, tucking his hair behind his ears, and pulling him in for a kiss. The bed that used to be firm and tense was now soft and yielding, and the hair on Jaeyoung’s neck stood up with excitement.

Sangwoo sucked on Jaeyoung’s neck and earlobes according to his heart’s desire. Jaeyoung was lulled by the person on top and rubbed his body against the hot body, using his fingertips to explore the silhouette of Silhouette that looked good in the dark, sliding down the smooth neck, slipping down to the muscle that occupied the area and then down to the firm denim of the jeans, squeezing and massaging the buttocks through the hard fabric, then climbing up to the inside of the leg and stopping in between the legs.

“Ah…”

The person on top nibbled on Jaeyoung’s ear and let out a moan, only touching through the thick fabric, but it was still hard enough to take shape.

This was evidence that the other party was also in the mood of hyper arousal.

He held onto that part tightly before unfastening the buckle with the desire to look at it with his own eyes.

As soon as Jaeyoung took off his pants and slid his hand to the underwear, Sangwoo wrapped his arms around Jaeyoung’s neck and buried his face in the nape. Jaeyoung used one hand to grope the buttocks while the other side rubbed the hardening cock. Sangwoo squeezed and twisted his body quietly, still grabbing Jaeyoung’s shirt and pulling it hard enough to reveal more than half of his shoulder.

Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo and flipped over, the one who was flipped over suddenly revealed a surprised face. After pulling the other’s pants down to the thigh, he looked at the wet bulge in front of him for a moment before leaning down, tapping the edge of his lips against the bulge. Sangwoo was surprised and raised his shoulder, but Jaeyoung ignored it and pressed his tongue onto the thin fabric until it turned pale red.

“Wait. Um…let me take a shower first.”

Sangwoo made a move to get up, so Jaeyoung pressed him to lie down as before. When he pulled down the other’s underwear, he found the erect shaft that had no way to enter his mouth.

‘I never thought I’d have to suck someone else’s d*ck.’

Although he complained in his heart, in the end, Jaeyoung covered that part with his mouth.

“Ah…”

Jaeyoung’s face was dark and his eyes were confused, even the salty and tasteless taste was not an obstacle. The image that passed through the excitement swept away the resistance for a moment, making Sangwoo’s flesh look less disgusting, so he sucked it like he was eating delicious ice cream with a strong desire.

“Ah…it’s… ugh…”

He used his hand to stimulate the scrotum, and his tongue licked the part that was standing upright. When he bit the tip with his sharp teeth, the other side also leaned over and pulled the hair on the back of his head immediately.

Because they both knew what to do to feel good. Moreover, it was not just Sangwoo who had studied. Jaeyoung was well-prepared with theory and practice, and he worked hard, stiffening the tip of his tongue to stimulate the flesh, wrapping his mouth around the head, using his tongue to gently caress the soft end, swallowing deeply and sucking hard, and in the meantime, he didn’t forget to look at the other side.

Sangwoo looked at him with half-opened eyes, the eyes were filled with happiness and satisfaction. Jaeyoung knew well what the other side saw him in, and he intended it to be that way. He deliberately blinked slowly and flicked his tongue out, and then the hand that held his hair came out stronger, the rough touch rubbed against his cheek as if to slap him. Then the other side slid his hand to cover his eyes. Jaeyoung then wiped that hand away.

When he thought it was time… Jaeyoung hastened his pace and locked eyes with Sangwoo, while Sangwoo’s cock was entering his mouth and his lips tightly wrapped around his teeth, moving up and down, and suddenly a loud moan echoed.

“Ah, damn… it, uh…”

Although the person being stimulated was the other party, Jaeyoung didn’t know why he felt so hot and aroused. He felt like the cock that was in his pants was about to explode. One of Jaeyoung’s hands clasped with Sangwoo’s hand while the other held onto the other party’s leg tightly. As he moved up and down, Sangwoo kneeled and immediately thrust his hips forward.

“Did you learn that… somewhere?”

‘You’re talking nonsense again. You imaginative kid.’

Sangwoo’s movements became more violent. The other party pull

 

 

Jaeyoung’s hair and finally began to move his waist, causing the tip of the fluid that had a slightly salty taste to hit his palate hard. Sangwoo, who had awakened and fell into arousal completely, no longer felt embarrassed. Jaeyoung endured and held onto the other party’s hand tightly, even though the bones of that party collided with his chin hard.

The more violently Sangwoo moved, the more Jaeyoung felt like he was about to die. His lower body also moved up and down. He wanted to do more and almost went crazy. One of his hands on Sangwoo’s leg automatically tightened, and his blood boiled throughout his body.

At that moment, the violent movement stopped, and a loud moan echoed along with a fishy taste spreading in his mouth. Jaeyoung swallowed the evidence of cum release that Sangwoo left in his mouth along with the saliva that had been stuck and raised his upper body.

Sangwoo breathed heavily and used his arm to cover his eyes. Jaeyoung rushed into the other party, pulled out his arm, and gave him a kiss. He held the wet lips for a moment before letting go. Sangwoo looked at him with a confused face.

“Why… why did you become so skilled?”

“I just did it for the first time.”

“You’re lying.”

“Are you the only one who studied the theories? I studied too.”

He looked at the tired and distressed face and nervously moved his hand. Although a bit hesitant, Jaeyoung took off his shoes and threw them away before taking off Sangwoo’s sneakers. However, as he pulled down his pants and moved his lower body closer to the other person without thinking about it.

Jaeyoung suddenly realized a problem.

Oh, damn it.”

He closed his eyes tightly and rubbed his face with his palm. He came here with overwhelming desire, so he didn’t bring anything. If he were to go out to buy something at a convenience store, it would take another fifteen minutes. In the meantime, Chu Sangwoo must have lost his mood… If he asked him to do it again, he probably wouldn’t agree, but there was no other choice.

However, when Jaeyoung lifted his head again, he found Sangwoo standing there. The other man picked something up from the drawer and threw it onto the bed.

“…”

Jaeyoung followed his gaze to a small box with a heart pattern on it. When he saw the words ‘Extra Large XL’ he smiled involuntarily. It might not be his favorite brand, but he thought he might start liking it from today on. He tore open the package.

“Come here.”

Sangwoo walked over and sat down as instructed. He put on a condom and touched the wet cock with the liquid that had dripped, including the fingers. Then he smiled and squeezed the gel before pushing the other person down to examine the buttocks. Sangwoo no longer refused, unlike at first when he looked scared. The bright light that shone on his face revealed even his second arousal expectations.

Jaeyoung moved his body closer to the other person’s lower body and spread his buttocks. Sangwoo shuddered lightly and turned his face away when Jaeyoung saw the twitching hold. As he inserted his finger, he squeezed it tightly inside as before, adding more gel and exploring carefully. He knew exactly where to touch the other person to make him feel good. As he touched that spot, the other person’s hip jerked as expected, and his toes curled up.

Stay calm, or it will hurt.”

He held Sangwoo’s knee tightly and moved his finger in and out. Inside, it was still tight like before, and he explored it carefully until he found the right spot. As he touched it, the area around the hip jerked as expected, and Sangwoo’s toes stiffened.

Jaeyoung leaned his upper body down and tapped Sangwoo’s chest, winking at the other side and then extending his finger. As he began thrusting in and out more and more precisely and lightly caressing, Sangwoo’s eyes closed tightly, and the touch of his fingertips pressing repeatedly made his body that had once been calm and still slowly rise up and press against his abdomen.

“Hyuuuung…”

Jaeyoung leaned his upper body down and pressed his face against Sangwoo’s chest, then spread his fingers out. As he began to thrust in and out more directly and rubbed gently, Sangwoo closed his eyes tightly. The dryness in his mouth and the suppressed desire made him feel like he was going crazy, but he had to endure it for now.

“Jaeyoung-hyunghim…”

The result was a healthy piece of flesh that was standing up and dripping with slippery mucus from Sangwoo. The other man’s hand was rubbing Jaeyoung’s chest, and his shirt was shaking with urgency.

“Don’t just rub… hurry…”

“Why? What do you want me to do?”

The hoarse voice was far from comfortable. Sangwoo forgot to close his eyes, and the remaining eye was full of anger and resentment. He pulled Jaeyoung’s collar closer before speaking.

“Are you still going to fool around at a time like this?”

“…”

Damn it…hey, hurry up.”

 

 

Even though he didn’t expect words like ‘help me put your big dick in my man pussy’ the annoyed expression was a bit too much. Although he wanted to tease, desire had to come first.

‘I can’t take it anymore.’

He took a deep breath and used both hands to separate the two pieces of flesh. Then he shifted his lower body and inserted himself into the stillunopened passage.

“Huh…”

Sangwoo groaned, his body trembling. Jaeyoung leaned his weight onto the other’s shoulder, not quite entering yet, but he felt like he was about to cum.  Therefore, he had to wait for a moment. He couldn’t move immediately.

If he missed this time, he would have to explain that he was early cummer and not as experienced. The other party probably wouldn’t believe it. Jaeyoung was determined not to hear the words “it’s okay if you can’t do it” again, so he pushed his cock in a little bit at a time.

“This…temporary erectile dysfunction, what does it feel like? Come on, say it again.”

“Uh…I don’t know…”

In a situation where his body was being forcibly awakened like this, Sangwoo’s face, which was not in a calm state, looked really dangerous with every blink, every open mouth, and every weak touch of his nose with his finger. Jaeyoung had just taken off the shirt that was soaked with sweat and stuck to the other’s skin. When the pale white skin appeared, the image in front of him became blurred, and he hugged the warm body tightly and thrust his hips in fiercely.

Sangwoo took a breath and used his hand to cover his mouth. Jaeyoung took his hand out and held the other’s wrist to prevent him from closing his mouth. Then he started moving his waist again. At first, it went slowly, once, twice, three times, four times, and during the subtle movements, he lifted his hips strongly to hit that spot inside Sangwoo.

“Ah!”

Then the other closed his eyes tightly and turned his face to the side in an instant.

“Sangwoo-ya.”

“…”

“Look at me, Chu Sangwoo.”

“…”

“Then I am going to leave and go home.”

Hearing that, Sangwoo forgot to keep his gaze down and they locked eyes. Jaeyoung released the tightly held wrist. Then, he tossed the wet hair, soaked with the other’s sweat, to the back. His face was still as cute as before, but now with his forehead exposed like this, he looked even more charming. He felt relieved, not just for himself. No one else had seen this side of Chu Sangwoo.

“Sangwoo, hug me… please.”

He spoke with a dry voice. Sangwoo widened his eyes as he heard the unexpected request and he hesitated before wrapping his arms around Jaeyoung’s neck. Jaeyoung pressed his body even closer than before and whispered,

“And kiss me.”

Sangwoo obediently leaned in and pressed his lips against the other’s.

Jaeyoung started moving his lower body, which was getting hotter and hotter. This time, he moved even more subtly, and soon he couldn’t hold back any longer. Jaeyoung lunged forward like a train that, once it gained speed, was hard to stop.

Every time Jaeyoung moved, the heavy, lingering breath penetrated through his teeth. The testicles touched the buttocks so that the sound of flesh slamming against flesh was distinctly loud. Every time Jaeyoung pushed his body in, Sangwoo’s body would shake violently. The speed increased gradually as the speed began to increase once more. He could no longer control it.

Sangwoo’s body was as straightforward as his personality. When stimulated, his body responded immediately. His fingers that were pressing on Jaeyoung’s back, the arms that were wrapped around the neck, the heavy breathing that came out of the deepest part of his lungs, and the tightening inside that gradually increased were all rewards that were worth longing for Jaeyoung. His delicate body trembled and reacted every time he collided with the other’s body, instead of kissing a slew of moans came out.

“Huh… ah…”

“Sang… woo-ya…”

“Ah, ah… ugh…”

“Does it hurt? It doesn’t hurt, right?”

Jaeyoung lifted the other’s leg and held it tightly on his shoulder. Then, he lifted his hips and pushed up hard, making Sangwoo make a moaning sound like an exploding scream, the fuel of love. He lifted himself up again and leaned his face against Sangwoo’s neck. Then, he sucked and licked his skin vigorously. Sangwoo hugged Jaeyoung’s neck tightly, as if he was trying to hold on to something, and started moving his hips.

After that, he matched his hips to the rhythm of the other person’s movements, and what was once a one-sided motion became a coordinated dance between the two. Every time their bodies collided, it felt different from when he was moving alone. Sangwoo moved his hips unpredictably, making it difficult for Jaeyoung to keep up. The other side was using his body to ask him to propel his cock deeper and faster. Jaeyoung lost his comfortable posture and let his body follow his instincts like an animal.

“Uh…hah…ah, ah, ah! Hyung…”

And then came the moment of pure happiness that made their hearts float together, as if they were one person. No matter how fast Jaeyoung moved, Sangwoo bounced back and chased after him at the same speed, as if there was a fierce collision happening where they connected, making a loud sound and a bright white light. At the same time, the edge of their lips released an indescribable moan.

‘Feels…amazing.’

Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s cheek, who was biting his finger, and made him turn to look at himself. His chest was wet with sweat, shaking violently from the thrusts, and reflected the moonlight. His small eyes had teardrops at the corners, and there were red marks left on his white neck.

Although he was violently entering the other person’s love hole, he whispered softly in the other person’s ear, “Are you okay?” Sangwoo nodded vigorously.

“Don’t you like it? Isn’t it good?”

The other side nodded again as before, to let him hear the sound of the person under his body, he focused on one point and thrust repeatedly, not letting the other person rest until he heard what he wanted.

“Hyung…huh huh, hyungnim…Jaeyoung…”

The sound of moaning sounded louder than ever and so sweet to the ears, as if when his cock moved in and out, the inner wall of the other person’s body sucked in his essence completely, and the wall was tight and comfortable, as if it was built for him, and even the rhythm of their movements was perfect.

‘We fit together perfectly.’

Jaeyoung soared to the highest point with a drunken feeling. He didn’t know what to do with the other person’s cute appearance, and he hugged the person under him tightly and kissed his cheek while expressing with his body that he liked him so much that he didn’t know what to do.

“Sangwoo, Sang…woo-ya.”

His mind was filled with this name, at this moment Chu Sangwoo was filling up Jang Jaeyoung. He liked the way the other party breathed as if he was out of breath, and he liked to hear the sound when the other party called him

“hyungnim” with a soft and gentle voice, unlike in normal times when the other party always looked perfect. Although he felt like he wanted to cum together with the other party quickly, he thought it wouldn’t be a problem even if time stopped right here.

“How do you feel…?”

“I can’t… take it anymore…”

Sangwoo pulled Jaeyoung’s hair with a frustrated face. The other party rubbed his chin and neck and moaned beside his ear.

“Hyung… uh, Jaeyoung…”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“Ah….ugh, how much longer? I… ah, can I cum first?”

Feeling dizzy and disoriented from head to toe, Jaeyoung stumbled. At that moment, Sangwoo seized him by the waist and pressed his cock until it was tightly inside. Sangwoo bit Jaeyoung’s earlobe and let out a moan filled with pleasure. Sangwoo squeezed Jaeyoung’s cock inside him and the white-hot electric current of sensational cum hit Jaeyoung’s face.

At the climax, a flame of flowers erupted. The feeling was dreamlike, as though a weightless force pushed and pulled Jaeyoung. At that moment, he saw and heard nothing. He only felt a warm rush throughout his body as the happiness slowly washed over him, the graph shooting up, then slowly falling down. At the same time, the tingling sensation on his hands and feet returned.

“Ah… ah, ah…”

The front of Jaeyoung’s tight shirt which they failed to remove was stained with white stains that couldn’t even be removed.

Sangwoo lay on his back, his chest heaving from the intense exercise. He closed his eyes tightly, and tears flowed down his cheeks from the edge of his eyes. Jaeyoung lay on the other side, panting heavily and pressed a kiss.

⌘W.

 

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