EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 24: Under the Light

   I looked out through the car window to see a place bustling with people, bright with lights all around. It was nearly dark now, and the lights made the scene even more beautiful.

“Is that the market?” I asked the person in the driver’s seat.

“Yes, the walking street market.” Phii Hill answered, his eyes still fixed on the road ahead, where traffic was slightly congested because of the nearby walking street. “Do you want to stop by?”

“Ah, uh, sure.” I agreed immediately. I remembered North mentioning he wanted to take me there, boasting about how delicious the food was and how many things there were to buy, probably even some exotic items I’d never seen before. That’s why there were so many people strolling around.

The luxurious car turned into the parking area. It seemed like my plan to eat ramen would have to be put on hold. Phii Hill took off his blazer and placed it on the back seat before reaching out to hold my hand and leading me out.

“Do we have to hold hands?” I asked with a slightly worried look. Holding his hand in such a crowded place felt somehow embarrassing.

“Otherwise, you might get lost.” Phii Hill said, before gently guiding me across the street to the market side.

“Don’t you want others to see?” the person next to me asked softly.

“No…not at all.” I replied hesitantly. I wasn’t too concerned about what others at the university would think since they probably knew already, thanks to North’s clear statements about Phii Hill. I thought I should be more clear and courageous myself, especially since many people already knew.

Now that it was getting dark, the lights from the surrounding decorations lit up, creating a beautiful atmosphere. It was a pity I didn’t bring my camera. When I looked at the person whose hand was holding mine, I wasn’t sure if it was the soft light reflecting off him or something else, but the sight of him now was so captivating that I could hardly look away.

After that, we wandered around, looking at various items, buying some food and some household items. Phii Hill paid for everything, which made me feel a bit awkward.

“Let’s split the cost.” I suggested as he was pulling out money to pay for the snacks we had just picked.

“It’s okay.” Phii Hill said, taking the items to carry them.

“I feel bad about this.”

“If so…can I ask for something else in return?”

“What is it?” I asked back, hoping it wasn’t something impossible.

“I’ll tell you later, do you want to buy anything else?”

“Uh…” I fell silent, thinking while looking around. Even though the market was large, we had been walking for a while and bought quite a lot already. “No, I’m good.”

“Then, let’s find a place to sit and rest.” Phii Hill suggested, leading me in another direction. Not far from there, we found a spacious area set up with tables for people to sit, and there was even a small stage where a band was playing northern Thai music. I didn’t understand much, but the melody was beautiful, and it felt romantic, matching perfectly with the surrounding ambiance.

This area isn’t just decorated with lights; there are lanterns placed around the tables, and even small candles. Observing, there are hardly any light bulbs here, which is exactly what I love about the atmosphere of the northern towns.    Luckily, there was still an empty table. We chose to sit at the furthest one. After placing everything down, I immediately started dealing with the food. Sigh, I had been starving for so long.

“Is it good?” the person next to me asked when he saw me putting a meatball into my mouth.

“Yeah, aren’t you going to eat?” I asked.

“Of course, I will.”

“Feed me then.” Phii Hill raised his hand to touch his chin and turned to look at me.

“Uh…no, there are too many people watching.” I said, feeling embarrassed with so many people around.

“Come on.”

Eventually, I had to feed him. I couldn’t resist that deep, soft voice, I swear, my ears might melt, T^T.

   “It smells nice.” I mentioned when suddenly a pleasant scent wafted up to my nose, like a faint floral fragrance. I like it; this kind of scent really relaxes you.

“That’s the scented candle.”

Oh…right. I just noticed that the candles on the table were scented. Not only do they provide a nice atmosphere, but they also smell good, huh? They might even help keep mosquitoes away, maybe…does that really work?

   “With light this beautiful…I don’t want to look away.” Phii Hill said, his face lit up with his usual gentle smile, and those beautiful eyes that often looked at me…

Just that…

   My heart felt all warm…

   I myself…didn’t want to look away either.

   But I could only meet his gaze for a few moments before, as usual, I was the one to look away first…otherwise, my heart might melt like the scented candle in front of us.

   “Tell me about it.”

“Tell you what?” I asked, still chewing my snack.

“About when you first liked me.”

“…”

“Asking so directly like this…who would dare to answer?” I said. I was so shocked just now that I nearly choked on my snack. Why suddenly bring up this topic? T^T

“Tell me, please.”

“Why would you want to know?”

“Hmm…when someone you like likes you back, wouldn’t anyone want to know who that person is?” Well, he himself hasn’t even told me, insisting I become his partner first, or whatever.

“Consider it as your way of paying me back for treating you, how about that?” Phii Hill proposed. I let out a soft sigh, oh well, I guess I’ll have to tell him.    “…But wait, you said you’ve liked me since five years ago, right?” I asked to confirm, remembering suddenly.

“Yes.”

“So, you’ve liked me since I was in high school?”

“Yes, why?”

“…”

“Really? So, you’ve known me from the start then.”

“Yes.” Phii Hill confirmed, raising an eyebrow in surprise, probably not understanding why I was asking. But thinking about it, while many girls at school had crushes on Phii Hill, he was liking me. Phii Hill, whom my female friends often talked about as being so good in this way or that, excelling at everything, and yet turning down everyone who approached him.

The one everyone said was out of reach…

But actually…

He liked me…

!!!

“I had no idea.” I said, my face showing genuine surprise, “Did you start liking me when I returned your notebook?”

“Yes.”

Hey! Back then, I had no clue at all. The teacher just asked me to return the notebook, and I did just that, T^T

“Even during the sports day?”

“Yes, even then.”

Even though Phii Hill is on the sports committee, he helped out with the parade too. Was it because he was looking after me?

   “So when you said…someone had to look after me during that time, you meant me, right?”

“Yes.”

Oh my God, how come I didn’t know any of this? Was Phii Hill’s liking for me that subtle!! At that time, I just thought he was one of the caring senior staff members.

   “Why didn’t I know any of this?” I asked while making a sulky face at him.

“Hmm…it’s not strange. We didn’t really know each other back then.” Phii Hill said casually, contrasting with my fluster as if I was on fire.

“You never showed it or even talked to me.” I stated the truth. Back then, we were really in different worlds. I didn’t think Phii Hill even noticed me.    “Hmm?”

“Seeing this, I guess you can get embarrassed too.” Phii Hill said with a slight chuckle.

He’s embarrassed?

That’s cute…

   Oh my, this isn’t good for my heart again, sigh. How can someone be so perfect in every aspect?

   “And what about you, Ter?”

“Well…from the very beginning.”

“The beginning?”

“Yes, when we first met.”

“Ter, you remember that too?” The person next to me raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“When you helped me in front of the school.” I replied, puzzled. Who could forget something so significant? Before that, I just admired him casually, but after that day, I really started liking Phii Hill.

“Hmm…I don’t think so.”    What’s that?

“Oh, not that?” Oh…the five years that Phii Hill mentioned. I really don’t remember, no matter how hard I try to recall, could it be possible that I met him before and forgot?

   “You liked me since then?” I asked, my eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Uh…yeah.”

…

On an ordinary day for a high school student like me, in my fifth year. After school, I was heading home as usual, but since it was my library duty day, I ended up leaving later than everyone else. When the pedestrian crossing light turned green, I quickly stepped off the sidewalk to cross the road.

   Rrrrrrrrr

   Who’s calling now? I pulled out my phone to check the screen.

   Prinnnnn!! Prinnnnn!!

   “Watch out!!” I heard someone shout, before feeling a strong pull on my arm that made me stumble backward with the force. Just before that, I thought I saw a motorcycle cut in front of me.

   Wait…a moment…

   My shoelace came undone.

   Oh no!

“Ouch!” I couldn’t help but yelp when I fell onto the road, sigh, my butt, T^T, huh…but it didn’t hurt that much.

   “Are you okay?” I quickly turned around.

   Phii Hill!!

   I looked around in confusion, guessing that I had walked out too fast earlier. Plus, I was looking at my phone and didn’t see the car that ran the red light. Phii Hill had pulled me back to avoid being hit by the car.

   But then I stepped on my own shoelace, causing both of us to fall.

   It didn’t hurt because I fell onto him, right? T^T

   “Sorry, sorry.” I immediately got up when I realized I was on top of him. Phii Hill made a slight pained face before slowly getting up. People around us were crowding to look.

   “Don’t stand in the middle of the road, it’s dangerous. Hurry up and cross!” one of the teachers shouted, making everyone move back, “Are you hurt? Injured?”    Both of us shook our heads.

   “We’re fine.”

   “Yes.” Phii Hill answered.

   “Okay, make sure you go home safely, I’ll deal with the motorbike from earlier. They drive recklessly around the school area, even with the pedestrian crossing lights on. Be careful on your way home.” The teacher reiterated before walking off.

   “Thank you, and I’m sorry, are you okay?” I asked worriedly, sigh, it was entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have been careless; made others suffer because of it.    “I’m fine, what about you?”    “I’m fine too.” I replied.

“Your hand is bleeding.” Phii Hill said, pointing at my left hand. True enough, seeing the wound made it start to hurt immediately. I must have grazed it on a stone when I fell.

   “Oh, it’s nothing, just a little.” I looked at him, considering. Phii Hill seemed fine, but I was worried that maybe his bones were hurt. Especially since I’m not light, T^T, and I got his school uniform dirty too, sigh, Ter, oh Ter.

   “Should we wash the wound first?”

   “Yes, I’ll wash it myself at the—” Before I could finish my sentence, the other person grabbed my hand and led me directly to the nurse’s office. Why doesn’t he listen to me?

   I let him take my hand and wash the wound at the sink. Right now, there was no one else around except the nurse’s daughter.

   “Mommy went to buy snacks for me.”

   That’s what she said, so we took the liberty to wash the wound first.

   I felt somehow embarrassed as someone was holding my hand and washing my wound. Even though it stung, I had to make sure all the dirt was cleaned out of the wound.

   “You can sit and wait, I’ll go get some saline to clean the wound.” Phii Hill said. I followed his instructions easily, settling down into a chair, and not only had I troubled him, but now he had to dress my wound too, sigh, why is he so kind? I was already very impressed with him from the sports day, T^T.

   He returned with a large bottle of saline, sat down on the chair opposite me, and immediately started cleaning my wound.

   I should probably start a conversation. After all, he’s helped me this much.    “Uh…it’s Hill, right?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I just felt like asking, he probably doesn’t know me.

“Yes.” He replied without looking up.

“Do you remember me?” As soon as I finished my question, Phii Hill looked up, furrowing his brows in confusion. “I was the one holding the sign during the sports day, when you helped me carry it.”    “Oh…yes, you’re…?”

   “My name is Easter, you can just call me Ter.” I said, sending him a friendly smile. Phii Hill smiled back before continuing to dress my wound.    “Be more careful next time.”

   “Uh, yes. Next time I’ll be careful, sorry about that.” I apologized again, feeling quite guilty, “Thank you for your help.” and I accidentally thanked him again.

   “No problem, are you heading home now?”

   “Yes.”

   “Why are you going back so late?”

   “I was on library duty. And what about you?”    “I had a little tutoring session with friends.”

   “Wow…that’s nice. I’ve never had a study session with friends.” I said. Not studying wasn’t because I was already good at it, but because studying often didn’t help much, T^T.

   “And what class are you in?” he asked.

   “I’m in M.5/7.”

   “Class seven…that’s science major, right?”

   “Yes.”

   “Is it tough?”

   “Some subjects are hard, especially the ones I’m not good at, those are really tough.” I said with a dry smile, scratching my head in embarrassment.

   “Which subjects are you not good at?”

   “Well…” I paused to think, “Physics, Chemistry, Math, I’m okay with Biology.”

“Hmm…aren’t those the main subjects for the science stream?”

Oh yeah…

   Can I still switch streams, T^T?

   “What about you?” I asked back. When I talk about studies with someone smart, it always feels strange like this. I don’t know why. It’s the same when I talk with the smart kids in my class.

   “Me? Well…nothing in particular.” Phii Hill replied.

   Wow. Nothing in particular because he’s good at all subjects, sigh, I wish I could have a moment to answer like that at least once in my life.

   “And how’s M.6? Is it tough?”

   “It’s more about preparing for exams than the actual learning.”

   “That sounds tough, so what faculty are you planning to apply for?” This is a classic question I believe every M.6 student gets asked at least ten times, but I still wanted to ask. I was curious to know what someone as smart as Phii Hill wants to study.

   “I haven’t decided yet.”

   “Oh, really?”

   “Yes, Nong Ter, do you have any faculty to recommend for me?” he asked, perhaps because he genuinely didn’t know what to study and was now asking for my opinion, someone he just met.

   “Well…I don’t know, it depends on what you’re good at.”

   But the problem with him is that he’s good at everything…

   “Maybe a doctor, I think you’d be suitable for that.” I suggested, recalling how well Phii Hill would fit the role of a doctor, especially seeing him dress my wound now.

   “Hmm…” Phii Hill looked up to meet my eyes, then seemed to ponder for a moment.

“If I get patients like you every day…”

“I’d like to be a doctor too, : )”    Thump! Thump!

   Thump! Thump!

   :

   Why all of a sudden…

   Do I feel like my heart is melting like this…

   “I was impressed because you’re kind, you’ve helped me since the sports day.” I said, accidentally holding my breath, sigh, it’s embarrassing, why do I have to tell him all this, T^T

   “And…you also saved me from getting hit by a car, and you dressed my wound…so…that’s why”

   “Do you like me?”

   !!!!

   “…Uh!”

   I lowered my head, not daring to meet his gaze, Phii Hill seemed really pleased that I had told him.

   “I’m so glad. If I had known you liked me from back then, that would have been great.”

   “You don’t have to say it…” I said in a softer tone, then slowly looked up, and grabbed some snacks to hide my embarrassment. So it turns out we liked each other, but no one said anything for a year? How comically tragic is this?    “Then, can we start over?” the person beside me asked, reaching out to hold my hand.

   “I love you, Ter.”

   Phii Hill gently kissed my hand, as if the scene in front of me was reflected in the soft glow of candlelight, accompanied by the gentle music I was hearing, everything here seemed to stand still…

PhiiHill gently pressed his lips against my hand, as if the scene before us was a reflection of the gentle glow of candlelight, accompanied by the soft melody I heard. Everything in this moment seemed to freeze…

   To let me…

   Remember this touch forever…

   “I love you too.”

   This was the first time…

   I dared to express my feelings…

   “Your face is so red!” North immediately remarked as I entered the room. I wasn’t here to deal with the cold air conditioning alone, sigh. Well, maybe it would help cool me down a bit, T^T.

“How was the eggplant?” he teased, referring to the incident at lunchtime. My embarrassment now seemed trivial compared to what just happened.

“Stop teasing already,” I sighed, flopping onto the bed.

“Why’s your face so red? Did the doctor confess his love to you?”

“Oh shit!” North exclaimed when I threw a pillow at him with force.    Is that something you should even say? I couldn’t take it anymore, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to explode. After I confessed my love, Phii Hill made me repeat it several times.

   What kind of person is that? Doesn’t he think about others’ feelings? Oh, but then again, he’s never been gentle with my feelings anyway, T^T.

   “Really?” the guy messing with his computer turned to ask me.

“…Yeah,” I answered quietly.

“Tell me more.”

“Well…we confessed our love to each other,” I stammered, my voice shaking,

“Why are my lips trembling now?”

“Seriously, wow, you’re blushing, so are you guys dating now?”

“No.”

“What? Why?” North asked, looking frustrated.

“Well…he didn’t mention anything about being in a relationship,” I said.

Honestly, I was too embarrassed at the time to even think about that part.

“You confessed to each other, but you’re not dating? Is he going to ask later or what?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know!” I exclaimed, pulling the blanket over me and rolling around on the bed, “Sigh, North, I feel like my heart is going to burst!”    “Good for you, man. You should be clear about your feelings, so the doctor knows you love him too.”

“Ugh, that’s why I told him, clear like you said.” I mumbled from under the blanket, but then someone yanked the blanket off me.

“You did well, I’m happy for the doctor, he must be thrilled, I’m telling you.”    “Really?”

“Seriously, he’s been the only one confessing for so long.”

“Ah, uh…”

“Keep it up, soon everyone at school will know.”

“Is that so…” I asked absentmindedly, my mind replaying the scene over and over as if my brain had captured it on a loop, that moment when Phii Hill kissed my hand…sigh.

“Yeah, someone must have seen you with him, it’ll spread online for sure, trust me, everyone at school will know it’s you.”

“…Hmm, I guess so.” I sighed softly.

“Are you ready to go public?”

“What can I do?”

“See, no reason to hide anymore.”

“Uh-huh.”

Ding!

The notification sound from my phone made me quickly check it. Has Phii Hill reached his condo already? Why so fast?

Oh…it’s not Phii Hill.

Who is it?

Night Natthagorn – tagged you in a photo.

   Oh…it’s the dentist who asked to take a photo with me. It’s a picture of me in an eggplant devil costume standing next to Night and smiling at the camera, with the caption, “The eggplant devil, danced so cutely : )”

   How did Night get my face? I don’t remember adding him or accepting his friend request.

   Uh…well,

   I’m in trouble now.

   Will Phii Hill be mad?

   Would it be rude to remove the tag?

   “Ter, Ter, look at this!” While I was still contemplating whether to remove the tag, part of me was worried about being rude, but I didn’t want Phii Hill to be angry more than anything, and just as I was about to click on the tag to remove it…

“What’s up?” I got up to look at North’s computer screen.

“Here, I think it’s not even a minute since it was posted.”

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – has added a new photo – 1 minute ago

   Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was crying and rolling on the floor. This is a photo our paparazzi sneakily took; the incident happened at today’s walking street market. Our paparazzi said they saw our Dr. Hill holding hands with someone, so they followed until…as you all can see in the picture. This shot had to be taken for real, it’s so scream-worthy, so heart-meltingly good, the doctor is so handsome, everything is perfect from the lighting, the colors, the background, the timing of the shot, oh my God, so romantic. Should we be happy to know who the doctor’s person is?

   Or should we mourn the loss of another school husband? T_T @Hill,

Ratchakit

   The photo shows Phii Hill leaning down to kiss my hand, taken from behind so our faces aren’t very clear, but you could guess who it was. The lighting from the lanterns and candles made the picture look warm, with a small stage in the background where a northern Thai band was playing.

Sigh, they took a photo like this!

   “Ter, Ter! What does Emmy mean, why didn’t you tell me he kissed your hand too, so romantic!” North was yelling and shaking me vigorously. I was also stunned. I didn’t think anyone would take this photo.

As for the comments and shares, no need to mention, the social media went wilder than during an interview.

Ding!

Another notification?

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – has mentioned you in a comment    Huh!!!?

@Easter Panupong, may I tag you, because we investigated who the person in the photo is, and now we know who the culprit is…I mean, Hill’s soon-to-be partner. Just want to say I’m super jealous, wish you both a long-lasting love, you’ve won him, be lucky. I’ll excuse myself to go cry and come to terms with it, T____T. P.S. The doctor has allowed us to tag you, but with the condition that absolutely no one is allowed to say anything bad about or to you, which I agree with. Let’s all be gentle, give them some respect, okay?

   They tagged me again, for real!!!

Luckily, Phii Hill stopped it in time. Otherwise, I might have been overwhelmed by Phii Hill’s fans, T^T

“Wow, the launch was epic, so many shares, just posted too, the angle’s great, the lighting is beautiful, why is the market so stunning?” North exclaimed loudly with excitement.

“Hey, Ter, still got your senses, huh?” North shook my arm hard again, seeing I wasn’t responding. At that moment, my senses were just starting to come back. I thought everyone would find out, but I never imagined the page would post the picture like this, T^T

Cute Boy &  Girl – MU, –. Just moments ago

   Everyone, please don’t fuss, my computer’s completely frozen, there are so many questions about what’s going on, if it’s really him, and who he is. It’s better if he answers himself, right @Hill, Ratchakit?

   Hill Ratchakit: It’s really me, he’s mine. Please, if you know, kindly remove the picture, 🙂

   

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EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 23: Easter

   When I was in my fourth year of high school:

   During a physics class, our teacher instructed us to finish our old assignments and submit them before the period ended. We would sit in randomly assigned groups. There were two guys, me and Mick, and the other three were girls who were having a great time gossiping.

“Hey, it looks like he’s practicing soccer again today.”

“Really? I won’t miss that. I even got some great shots from the other day. Look!” She then pulled out her phone to show her friends, “He took his shirt out of his pants, it’s super bad.”

“Exactly, it’s nice when he’s in his PE kit, but I like it when he’s in his school uniform, especially when he’s all sweaty. Oh my, the school shirt is so thin.”    “While you all are chatting away, some of us are trying to work. It’s distracting.” Mick, sitting next to me, complained, which made the three girls turn to glare at him.

“Don’t talk so much, Mick. You’re copying my work, and you still have the nerve to say you’re distracted.”

“Please, let me copy some math too.”

“Do some work yourself. Look at Easter, he always finishes his work first, right, Ter?” Eve said, turning to look at me.

“Ter’s level.” Mick said, “He finished copying at home.”

“Yeah, I always, uh, finish my work at home, never having to rush at school.” I said proudly, though I’m not sure why finishing copying early is something to be proud of.

“Well, if you’re done with your work, join the gossip. Here, look at this.” She then handed me her phone, showing a picture of someone in a high school uniform, mid-kick on the field, his hair slightly messy and sweat all over, indicating how hard he had been playing. It made him look cool and very attractive, no wonder the girls liked him.

“I’ve seen this picture three times already. Tubtim showed it to me this morning.” I said, sounding bored.

“Oh, really? Then, Mick, look at this. This is my boyfriend, Phii Hill, from 5/12, isn’t he hot?” Eve continued to show off the picture to Mick, who let out a heavy sigh, probably having seen the picture no less than three times like me.

“I’m sick of seeing it, and tired of hearing about how hot Phii Hill is. It’s all the girls in our class talk about all day.” Mick complained again before bending down to continue copying work.

“Well, he’s handsome, and he’s really cool too. Plus, with the sports day coming up, he’s been practicing a lot. We’re practically camping out at the field every evening.”

“He’s also smart, and I heard his family is rich.” one of the girls added.

“Women can be so imaginative.” Mick said to me, “I’ve never met him in person.

Have you, Ter?”

“I think I’ve seen him a few times.” I replied, recalling Phii Hill, who was always the talk among the girls. He’s in M5/12, the top class for the Math-Science program, which in our high school goes from Room 7 to Room 12. Room 12 is the ‘King’ class. I’m in M4/7, just a regular Math-Science class, which is fine by me. I don’t want to study hard. I already have to copy assignments until my hand hurts.    Last year, when I was in M3, there was talk about a new transfer student in M4 named Phii Hill, from a famous elite school. Not sure why he transferred here. He’s super good-looking, smart, in the King class, and good at sports, making him the center of attention in school. Back then, I didn’t see him much because the high school and middle school sections are separate, but I heard his name often.    When I finally saw him, I understood why the girls were screaming so much. Now, as I’ve moved up to high school, I see him more often—around the cafeteria, passing by, at the gym, or most commonly at the library, where I work as a librarian. He borrows books a lot; he must love reading, which explains his good grades. And since he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he’s even more popular, though there are many rumors linking him with others.

“How was it when you met him in person?”

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked, puzzled, furrowing my brows.

“Well, I want to know what guys think about my crush.”

Oh my, she called him ‘my crush’ so confidently. Does Phii Hill know he has imaginary admirers all over school?

“Nothing much, really.” I answered honestly.

“How can there be nothing? Isn’t he handsome?”

“Yeah, he’s good-looking.”

“How good-looking?”

“What do you mean ‘how’? He’s just good-looking.” I said, still confused. Do girls usually ask such weird questions? Is there more than one way to be handsome?

“Like, cute handsome, cool handsome, rugged handsome, stuff like that.” Eve explained. I turned to Mick for his opinion, but he just shook his head, feigning ignorance.

“He’s pretty cool, like an athlete.” I said, just to move past the question.

“See, athletes are cool. But when I saw him studying, I thought he’d make a good doctor.”

“Dr. Hill, huh? That sounds awesome. It would be great if he actually became a doctor.”

“Seriously, with so many people liking him, why hasn’t he settled down?” Mick asked.

“Oh, Mick, don’t kill my dreams. I know he’s popular, but what can you do? He’s one of the reasons I even want to come to school, sigh. Deep down, I know there’s no way I’d ever really date him, someone of his caliber.”

“Well, being a fan is good enough. Heard that Nut from Class Four confessed to

Phii Hill yesterday.”

“Really, and what happened?”

“Rejected, of course. You can ask. Even the pretty seniors got rejected plenty of times.”

And so, the girls’ gossip continued amidst me and Mick’s boredom. Honestly, we were sick of hearing about him every day. It’s only through the girls’ gossip that we got to know him.

   As it was nearing six in the evening, when everyone should have gone home, I, being the librarian, had to tidy up the books, compile a list of borrowed books, and check for any missing volumes.

   “Panupong, come here for a moment.” called the library teacher.

“Yes, sir.”

“Help me out here.” The teacher then bent down to do something before handing me a notebook, “Someone left this notebook here for several days. I’ve waited a long time, but no one has come looking for it. Please return it to its owner.”    “Yes, sir.” I agreed and took the notebook.

“You can return it tomorrow morning. You can go home now, I’ll have someone else finish the rest.”

“Yes. If that’s the case, I’ll be going then. Goodbye.” I said, giving a slight bow before going to grab my school bag. But whose notebook is this? I don’t really know many people, will I be able to find the owner?

Name: Ratchakit Pacharakittithorn

   Nickname: Hill

   Class: M.5/12

   Oh…Hill from M.5/12 [1] So in Thailand if you see something written with matthayom or M it means secondary school which is a six years thing. And if you see something like M.5/12 it means that student is secondary school grade 5 class 12

Ah…that Phii Hill, the one I hear about every day…

This might work out well. I could take it to the girls in the class; they’ll definitely scream and fight over this notebook. I sneakily opened it to see, curious about what the notebook of someone who’s so good at studying would look like. Wow, such beautiful handwriting and organized notes. Even though it’s not very colorful, it’s very suitable for a guy, quite readable actually. Or maybe I should keep this notebook for myself, just in case.

When I get to M5, I’ll have the answers to look at.

That wouldn’t be good…doing something like that might be too much.

As I walked past the football field, I noticed quite a few people, especially girls, sitting by the field and watching the players intently. Eve had mentioned this morning that Phii Hill would be practicing football today. So, I might as well drop by. It wouldn’t be safe to keep it with me. If it doesn’t go away, I’ll just tear it up.    I made my way over to where the athletes were sitting for a break. There were about three or four guys resting and drinking water. I approached them cautiously.

“Uh, excuse me, seniors.”

“Yes?” They all turned to look at me in unison.

“Is Phii Hill here?” I asked.

“Hm? Oh, he is. Are you looking for him?”

“Yes, I need to return a notebook—”

“Hill!! Someone’s looking for you!!” One of the guys shouted out before I could finish my sentence, calling out to Phii Hill who was warming up in the middle of the field. Since it wasn’t far, Phii Hill heard and turned to look with a puzzled expression.

“A junior is looking for you!!” The same guy shouted again, and Phii Hill nodded in understanding before jogging over.

This was the first time I had seen Phii Hill up close like this, or maybe I had seen him before but never really noticed. Up close, he was…really as handsome as everyone claimed. His slightly sweaty appearance made him even more attractive.

Phii Hill looked at me, puzzled.

“I’m returning your notebook. Is this yours?” I said, handing the notebook over to him.

“Oh, yes, it’s mine…Where did you find it?”

“At the library.”

“Thanks.” He said, taking the notebook.

“You’re welcome.” I nodded, and Phii Hill gave me a sweet smile. I smiled back out of politeness before turning to leave.

“Uh…junior?” I turned back because I heard Phii Hill call out. He seemed to be contemplating something.

“Yes?”

“Never mind. It’s nothing.” Hearing that, I turned back around. What was that about? He called me and then didn’t say anything.

   “Ter, we saw you yesterday. What did you talk to Phii Hill about?”

“Yeah, it looked like you called Phii Hill over.” In the morning of the next day, the girls in my class were pressing me hard because everyone had witnessed me returning the notebook.

“I was just returning his notebook. He left it at the library.”

“Really? Why did you rush to give it back instead of bringing it to us first? We wanted to be the ones returning the notebook to Phii Hill.”

“Yeah, we wanted to see his handwriting. If it were me, I would have kept a page.”

“And did you peek inside his notebook?”

“I took a little look, his handwriting is nice.” I said.

“Then why didn’t you take a picture? Ter, I’m upset with you. Remember that.”    “Don’t be upset. What did I do wrong?” I said softly, “He comes to the library often. If you want to meet him, just come to the library.”

“I went last time. Didn’t see him at all.”

“Really? But I’m on library duty. I see him almost all the time. He likes to read on the upper floor with his friends.” I said truthfully because the librarian duties are scheduled by day. I’m on duty on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and in the evening when I’m at the library, I almost always see Phii Hill, except for some days like yesterday when he must have been practicing soccer.

“I guess our stars just aren’t aligned with his. Sigh, but seeing him practice yesterday did make me happy. Too bad he didn’t take his shirt off. All his friends did. Why didn’t he do the same?”

“I’ve never seen Phii Hill take his shirt off either. I’d love to see that.”

“But what about the sports festival? Did Phii Hill end up being our color’s drum major?”

“I heard our seniors say so. They said if it wasn’t Phii Hill, they wouldn’t agree to it, but it seems Phii Hill isn’t that keen on it. He’d rather focus solely on sports.”    “He’s our star player for soccer. I’d love for him to do both, but it must be exhausting for him.”

“And why are you all talking about him at my desk?” I asked. Somehow, I became the consultation point for sports festival matters right at my desk, leaving me with no space to work.

“Well, it’s normal to get excited as the sports festival approaches.”

At my school, the 5th graders are in charge of organizing the sports festival. Each color group consists of two or three classes, and they decide which class does what, like who builds the stands, who choreographs the parade, who manages the sports events. My class, M.4/7, is part of the red team, and so is Phii Hill’s class.    In M4, there aren’t any special duties, except for some who get selected to lead or march in processions, which I didn’t do. In simple terms, I was free; I wasn’t even participating in the sports, so I was just there to join the event.    3:25 AM

   It should be bedtime. Yes, even the chickens aren’t awake yet. Is it really the time to be doing this, Ter? I was yawning on the cold floor, using my bag as a pillow and my jacket as a blanket. It’s 3:25 AM, and I only fell asleep at midnight. Why do people have to torment themselves like this?

Mick, who was in the same predicament, was leaning against the wall, trying to doze off like me, along with many others who were now looking wilted like vegetables. The bright lights were blinding, and the noise made it even harder to sleep.

Yes, this is the place where the red team is supposed to get ready for the sports day parade. Man, I thought I’d be off the hook and wouldn’t have to do anything.

But due to a shortage of people, I ended up having to march too.

Marching, I don’t mind much, but having to meet at 3 AM is crazy…because the parade starts at 7 AM, and many need to get made up, so we had to come early or we’d be late. I can still remember my dad grumbling when he had to drop me off.    I understand my dad because I was grumbling a lot too. Not letting a sleepy person sleep is a sin. My dad’s a police officer, and he had to rush out last night because of an accident. By the time he got back, it was 3 AM, and he found me waiting outside the house.

“Hey, Ter, why are you sleeping here?” I heard Eve’s voice and opened my eyes to see her in regular gym clothes, but her face was already fully made up. Eve was also in the parade, and she will be carrying a sign along with me.

“I’m sleepy, let me sleep, please.” I pleaded in a groggy voice before closing my eyes again.

“C’mon, get a little excited, it’s sports day!”

“I am excited, but I’m also sleepy.”

“Do guys need to put on makeup too?”

“Apparently, we need to put on foundation. We wait for the girls to finish first. If they call for the guys to get their makeup done, wake me up, Eve.”

“Alright, and Mick too. Come on, let’s sit together, our classmates are hardly here for the parade.”

“Uh, good luck, Eve.” I mumbled, not really sure what I was saying, feeling all dazed. Knowing someone would wake me up, I easily slipped back into sleep.

“Ter, wake up, wake up!” I jolted awake after Eve shook me vigorously.

“Huh, what? Are they calling us for makeup now?”

“No, no, but look, Phii Hill is here. Oh, how delightful to see him this early in the morning.” I peeked in the direction she pointed, and sure enough, it looked like…uh, Phii Hill, but the image was so blurry.

“What time is it now?” I asked.

“3:50.”

“Eve, I’ve only slept for twenty minutes.”

“That’s enough. They’ll soon call for the boys to get their makeup done.”

“But that’s still a while. Just one minute now feels like a lifetime for me.” I said, dropping my head onto my bag and trying to sleep some more.

“Phii Hill isn’t the drum major, right? He’s not marching, is he just overseeing the parade?”

“Probably.” I answered, still half-asleep.

“Oh my God, he just looked over here for a second. Did he look at us? He must have looked at us, oh my God, let me fantasize for now, right Ter? He looked at us, right? Squeal!” Eve squealed softly, but how would I know? I had my eyes closed.

“Yes, he looked at you Eve. He must like Eve for sure.”

“Ter! Crazy, what are you saying!!” And then Eve hit me hard on the arm, making me jump, “Ouch, for goodness’ sake, why do I have to deal with this when

I’m so sleepy?”

“Boys can start getting their makeup done now.”

“Ter, they are calling for us.”

“Ugh, let someone else go first.”

“Mick, wake up, they’re calling for makeup now.” Eve turned to wake up Mick too.

“Ter, get up.”

“You get up too, limit.”

“Excuse me.”

Huh…who’s calling? The voice isn’t familiar.

   “Excuse me, you can wake up now.”

Is it time for makeup again? Ugh, I want to sleep more, can I have another five minutes?

   “Another five minutes.”

“It’s getting late now.”

“Mm-hmm, I know. You can go ahead.”

“If you don’t wake up, I’ll carry you to the car to sleep.”

“Alright, alright, I’m awake.” I said in a groggy voice, slowly pushing myself up from the floor, rubbing my eyes to get them to open. Who woke me up? And where did Eve go? “Where’s Eve?”

“The girls have gone to get dressed.”

“Oh, right.” I mumbled, trying to open my eyes again.    This person looks familiar…

   Oh…

   It’s Phii Hill…

   Why is he the one waking me up?

   And what was that about carrying me? Is he going to throw me downstairs or something? That’s harsh.

   “Just wait here for your makeup.” He said, “Can you stand up?” Phii Hill asked, extending his hand as if to help me up. I, lacking strength and full of sleepiness, reached out to grasp his hand, and he gently pulled me to my feet.

“Thanks.” I thanked him, then staggered over to sit next to Mick, who was getting his makeup done. His face looked just as freshly woken as mine.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked.

“I was almost out cold myself, senior, could you pinch my leg?” Mick said. The senior who was applying his makeup pinched him as requested, making Mick yelp and wake up fully.

“It’s not too hot, right?” Eve, now in full Thai costume holding a sign next to me, commented, even though I was already being made up. But I still felt like my mind wasn’t fully back. Plus, this sign was incredibly heavy; it was a carved wooden sign representing the school’s identity.

“It’s barely past seven, Eve. How could it be hot?”

“You’re annoying. So, Phii Hill, he’s here to supervise the parade?”

“Seems like it.”

“That’s a pity. Why didn’t he go parading as the drum major instead?”

“I don’t know.” I said, not paying much attention. Right now, my mind is set only on sleep. Mick was the same, his eyelids half-closed.

“But having him supervise the parade is good. We get to be close to him, it feels like he’s protecting us.” Eve said.

The parade supervisors, as their name suggests, ensure that no one in the parade steps out of line. Since we’re walking down an entire lane of the road, they also need to watch out for cars in the other lane trying to cut in. They also handle other duties like serving water and wiping sweat.

Last year, a girl twisted her ankle because of high heels, and the parade supervisor had to carry her shoes all the way. But honestly, who came up with the idea of walking this far? They must not have considered people like us, who are not fully awake, haven’t eaten much, yet are expected to walk this far. Don’t they have any sympathy?

Phii Hill, in his red staff shirt, clearly showing which color he was representing, with jeans and nice sneakers. Just that was enough for all the girls in the parade to look his way, especially my girlfriend here, who’s crazy about him, no need to mention how chill she’s acting.

The parade had been moving for a while. In front of me, there was a palanquin carrying a senior girl in an extravagant Thai costume, probably namedPhii Thanmild, also known as one of Phii Hill’s rumored love interests. I know this purely from Eve’s gossip, to be honest, T^T.

Somehow, I really feel sorry for the guy carrying the palanquin.

“Can you manage?” Phii Hill, who had somehow ended up next to me, asked.

When he walked beside me like this, I suddenly felt short.

“Yes.” I nodded in response.

“But you look very pale.” He said. I’m not sure if I imagined it, but his voice carried concern. He’s really a good senior, looking after the juniors well.

“I’m fine.” I smiled, but right now, the sign I was carrying felt extremely heavy, my arms were exhausted. I glanced at Eve, and she was in a similar condition, her hands trembling; this sign should be carried by at least four people.

“Is it heavy? Here, let me take it.” Phii Hill said as he took the sign from me, “Ice, come help carry this for the junior, she’s struggling.” Phii Hill called out to another staff member nearby to help with Eve’s side of the sign.

How is it that when the seniors take over, the sign feels so light? Just a moment ago, Eve and I were practically dragging it on the ground. Now, with nothing to carry, we could move to the middle, more like showing off our outfits than anything else. When I looked back, I saw Mick had his arms sagging too. Even with other staff helping out, we were all in this together, T^T.

“Wow, look at his arm muscles, the veins too, oh my, so manly.” Eve whispered, making it hard for me not to notice too. Many girls like men with visible veins on their arms. I get it, it looks cool. It shows strength. I only just realized Phii Hill has muscles too, but honestly, I don’t know much about him.

“Oh, Hill. Not being the drum major, and now you’re carrying signs instead?” another staff member teased as he approached, but Phii Hill just shrugged without responding, “But aren’t you supposed to be in the sports section? Why help with the parade? Aren’t you going to be tired out before the soccer match?”

“…”

“Someone has to be looked after.”

“Who?”

“Not telling.”

“Fine. Anyway, the parade management isn’t very good, huh? Not enough breakfast for the juniors, calling us in too early for no reason. Look, there’s a junior girl almost fainting up ahead.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“And how about football? Today’s the final against the green team. Do you think the captain will win?”

Hm? Phii Hill is our team’s football captain too? That’s cool.

   “Probably will win.”

“You’ve got good support today.”

“Oh, you’re talking subtly now, aren’t you? Who is it? Thanmild, oh, she’s super beautiful today, sitting like a lady on that bench, that Thai dress really suits her.” The guy whispered to Phii Hill, but I, being close by, overheard it anyway, causing me to look at Phii Thanmild sitting in front. I could only see her back, but even from the back, she looked beautiful, her skin as white as milk.

“It’s not that impressive.”

“Oh, come on, you who she chases every day can say that, but just looking at her makes me happy.” He said, making a face of exasperation.

“Could you get some water for me?” The person next to me made a slightly annoyed gesture, and the other went to fetch a small glass of water from another staff member.

“Here.”

“Give it to the junior.” Phii Hill said.

“Sure, sure.” and then he handed the glass to me. I didn’t forget to say thank you before taking it, and I passed another glass to Eve.

When we reached near the school entrance, we had to carry the signs ourselves. It wouldn’t look good if the staff held them for us. I guess we can manage. It’s just around the school lawn; the ground is quite muddy, though. Just the other day,

Fon fell here, T^T

   “It’s fine, I’m okay. If it’s too much, let me know, okay?” Phii Hill spoke with concern again. I nodded to show I understood, and then Phii Hill moved to join the other staff members, but not too far from me.

“He really cares, doesn’t he?” Eve said.

“Yeah.”

“Now he’s even more adorable. Sigh, I’ll remember this moment when he carried the sign for us until the day I die, it’s so sweet.” I sighed softly at Eve’s infatuation with Phii Hill, thinking one day I might get used to it.

“Who said he was ordinary? The red team captain, what a beautiful goal, and it’s in! One goal!!” The soccer commentary blared from speakers all around. Mick and I were at our color’s stand to watch the competition, sneakily eating sweets and snacks brought by juniors.

I swear, we only ate a little. We didn’t eat much, seriously, or else the juniors would have nothing to eat.

As soon as Phii Hill scored the first goal, the cheers erupted, especially loud from our stand where everyone was cheering with all their heart. The squeals from his fans were no ordinary thing; you could tell that after this match, he’d have even more fans. The sheer coolness of it all. But I didn’t see it, I was busy looking for snacks in the bag. Mick said Phii Hill’s goal was beautiful.

“Try to cheer a bit more.” Mick said, making me stop looking for food for the moment.

“Alright, alright, do you want some chicken leg snacks?”

“Sure.”

“And here comes another one for red, number eleven has the ball, passing it to number four. Now, can the red team captain score again consecutively?”

“Scream!!!! Hill, go for it!! That’s so cool, it really gets my heart racing.” one of the stand supervisors cheered loudly, “If you win, I’ll be your wife!!”

“Wait, stop it, if Hill hears this, he might be too scared to continue running.”

“Then come be my husband, I’m begging you.”

“Me too, I want a husband who’s the red team captain.”

I somehow felt that the seniors’ cheering was a bit scary. Does hearing such cheers actually boost the players’ energy? I’ve never competed in anything, so I wouldn’t know, but when you’re cheering with all your might, it really is fun, otherwise, why would cheering be so intense?

   “Oh my, if you’re going to be that handsome, you don’t even have to win, I’d still give in, Hill, take off your shirt, I want to see those abs.”

“Right, right, take your shirt off, just a moment, we’re here to cheer for the match, not to cheer for shirt-taking-off!”

“Number nine is pretty good, huh? Why are football players so impressive?”    Phii Hill is really focused on the game. You can tell, unlike some who just play without much effort, get tired and don’t want to run, it’s hot, the sun’s strong, all that stuff, but Phii Hill is truly dedicated and also very skilled, oh wow, he’s super cool. If someone has all these qualities, what more could you ask for in the world?    Whistling sound from the referee’s whistle signals the end of the first half. All the athletes disperse to rest at their respective team’s bench, the red team also heads this way. Phii Hill is drenched in sweat, his face flushed from exercise and exposure to the sun.

“Ohhh, wow, that last shot was a real killer.” probably referring to the moment Phii Hill wiped his face with his shirt, revealing his abs, making everyone hold their breath unintentionally.

“Hill played well. Keep an eye on number twelve, he almost scored several times.” The coach advised.

“Yes, sir.” Phii Hill responded, clearly exhausted, his eyebrows furrowed, showing he was quite serious.    “Pipe, don’t go too far upfront.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Grab some water for the players, will you?” One of the seniors ordered me during the strategy meeting. I was confused why I had to do it, but then I realized I was the closest to the water cooler since I had sneaked away for a sweet drink. Mike and I grabbed water bottles from the ice bucket and handed them out to the football players.

“Here’s water.” I handed one to Phii Hill.

“Thank you.” He turned and gave me a gentle smile as he took the water. I could sense his kindness; he had even helped me carry the banner earlier today. I had heard rumors that Phii Hill was rather cold and didn’t care much for others, but that doesn’t seem to be true.

Soon, it was time for the second half. At least we were leading by one goal, which Phii Hill had scored. If nothing went wrong, we were likely to win.    “Hey, cheer louder!” one of the leaders on the stands shouted, causing the red stands to cheer so loudly it drowned out the green, our opponents. Wow, that’s impressive; even when I was in middle school, the cheering wasn’t this loud.

Maybe it depends on who’s playing.

Suddenly, everyone gasped as Phii Hill was tripped by an opponent and fell. The referee blew the whistle immediately. Everyone rushed over to check on him, and when they did, they found he wasn’t injured and could continue playing, but the player who tripped him received a yellow card.

“Oh come on, they can’t compete so they cheat. That’s not manly at all.”

“He might not have meant to.”

“Meant what? If something happens to my husband, how will you take responsibility?”

I shifted to a spot where I could see clearly and found that Phii Hill really seemed to be fine.

Sigh, thank goodness he’s not hurt.

But his shirt was covered in mud. As I mentioned earlier, the ground was very slippery today because it had rained the day before. The grass in the middle of the sports field had dried out quite a bit. But where Phii Hill fell was a wet area.

“Give him a spare shirt.” The advisor shouted, indicating that a shirt change was necessary. Playing like this wouldn’t do, and it was the moment everyone had been waiting for.

That is…

Phii Hill took off his shirt…

“Scream!!!! Oh my God, those abs, those six-packs, oh my, why does he have such a good body, I give up, I totally give up, sigh, he’s stolen my heart.”    “Why is he so white? Did he swallow a light bulb or something? Oh, he looks delicious, that body is so tempting.”

“The abs are so beautiful, I want to touch them.”

“Six-packs are the best. Don’t put the shirt back on. Just play without it!”    It was just a fleeting moment when Phii Hill changed his shirt, but it caused a stir among everyone who saw, especially the girls who couldn’t believe such a white complexion could belong to an athlete who is always under the sun. The abs were not overly defined, just right for a high school student who exercises.

   Honestly…

   My heart is beating so hard right now…

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 22: The First Time I Saw You

   “Can you tell me how Ter came to like me?” Phii Hill lifted his hand to prop up his chin, staring at me intently as if wanting to extract the answer. North, sitting next to me, was laughing with great satisfaction. Just wait until it’s my turn, North, remember that.

“I’m not telling.” I said while scooping rice into my mouth to hide my embarrassment, “You haven’t told me yet.”    “Told you what?”

“The story about those five years.” I replied.

“Do you want to know now?”

“…” I stayed silent for a moment, recalling how the last time Phii Hill was about to tell me, I had said I wasn’t ready to know. But now things have changed for the better. I was now curious about how Phii Hill could have liked me for five years.

“Uh.” I nodded to indicate my answer.

“Sure, I’ll tell you then.” Phii Hill said, “but after Ter agrees to be my boyfriend.

Is that okay?”

“Cheater.” I muttered, frowning slightly. Is Phii Hill planning to ask me to be his boyfriend every day or what? T^T

“North, do you know why Ter won’t agree to be my boyfriend?” Phii Hill turned to ask North. The one being asked quickly swallowed his food to answer, why is he so eager to expose me?

“At first, he said he wasn’t sure about you, but after some time, I’ve seen that you’re pretty straightforward. I don’t know why he’s still playing hard to get.” North said before looking at me intently, “Stop playing hard to get already.” “You’re speaking as if you’re the expert.” I retorted, feeling genuinely annoyed at him. It’s not that I want to play hard to get, I just think we should take some time to get to know each other better. Even North himself once told me to take my time.    Then, during our meal, we had some conversation. Most of it was North enthusiastically telling stories about me. I wanted to scold him so badly, but out of respect for Phii Hill, I held back. He was spilling everything right from the start, and it seemed like Phii Hill enjoyed hearing about all the stories I had shared with North, especially pleased to learn how much I’ve been thinking about these matters.

Just look at him…grinning so broadly it’s almost annoying.

After we finished eating, Phii Hill drove us back to the dorm.

“Thank you so much for the meal.” North said, giving a respectful wai, which Phii Hill acknowledged with a smile.

Wow, why do they seem to get along so well like a pair of flutes?

“Thank you.” I also expressed my gratitude.

“Alright, see you later.” Phii Hill replied with a kind smile, and then the luxury car pulled away.

“Who said Phii Hill was cold? He’s quite warm and friendly.” North remarked as we were heading back to our room.

“Ugh, you told him everything about me. You’re such a traitor. Just wait till it’s my turn to spill your secrets.” I said with a mix of irritation and a glare, which made North chuckle at my expression.

“Ha ha, don’t be mad.” North said while unlocking the door, “There’s no reason to hide anything from Dr. Hill.”

“From a ghost, you mean. Don’t you think I might be embarrassed?”

“Why be embarrassed? You’re the one playing hard to get here. He’s been clear about his feelings. Maybe it’s time for you to be clear about yours too.” North said. “You said yourself that we should take our time to observe.”

“Yeah, that’s right. But at first, I thought maybe he wasn’t really serious about you. But from what I’ve seen, he’s very serious about you. If you really love him too, there’s no reason to wait anymore.”

“Why wait any longer? You and Dr. Hill have waited long enough. Time has proven that Phii Hill isn’t going to change, no matter what happens…That was quite the sharp comment from me, huh? Maybe it’s because today I had good food, ha ha ha.” North said, laughing with pride at his own words. I made a face at him but when I thought about what he said, he was right, I couldn’t argue with that.

“You’re really good at giving advice, huh?” I said.

“I’m only good at advising others.” North replied with a sigh. I figured he must be hurting over something. Better not to ask; he probably doesn’t want to talk about it anyway.

“So, what are you going to do? Dr. Hill asks you to be his boyfriend every day.

Aren’t you going to soften up a bit?”

“You…I don’t know either. I am softening up, I’m just so weak-hearted.”

“If you keep being slow and Hill can’t wait, you’ll be shocked to death.”

“Shocked to death?”

“What if he proposes to you in front of the whole school, then you can’t refuse, man.”

“Huh!?” I furrowed my brows at my roommate’s words, “Propose to me in front of the whole school? No way.”

“No way, what? We’re talking about Dr. Hill here. What do you think is impossible for him to do?” North’s words were right again; Phii Hill had once declared to the stars, “Ter is mine.” and even told thousands of people on a live stream that he would take care of me. Oh dear.

“I don’t think I can handle that, honestly, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.” I sighed.

“But he doesn’t know you like him, right? I thought he knew.” He said.    “No, he doesn’t know, but I think he might know now, Phii Hill is good at reading people.”

“Because you’ve never told him outright that you like him.” North said, “If you told him, he’d be really happy.”

“I’m not brave enough, North. If I had half of Phii Hill’s courage, that would be something.”

“At first, he said he wasn’t brave, didn’t he? But because he didn’t want to lose you again, he found the courage. You don’t want to lose him again, right? So be a bit braver.”

“…” I paused for a moment to reflect on North’s words, “Yeah, you’re right.”    (The sound of a tuk-tuk, coal trucks, cars going up and down the bridge, cars turning left and right, jerking movements)

The atmosphere of welcoming new students was really lively. My seniors had arranged for us to gather in the cheerleading room, where there were lots of activities like teaching cheerleading songs for Sports Day, dance routines, and revealing the senior codes.

“It’s really tiring, but now it’s time to reveal the codes. Anyone who knows their senior code can go find them. Those who haven’t found their seniors will definitely be punished.” and then all the freshmen stood up and started looking for their second-year seniors in chaos.

As for me…

“Have you found your senior code?” Foam asked me.

“Not yet.” I replied with frustration, wondering where I would find the time to look for them.

“Me neither.” Phoon answered.

“Same here.”

So, the three of us hadn’t found our senior codes yet.

“Those who haven’t found their senior have to be punished, come stand in front.”    Oh no, how embarrassing it is to stand here upfront. Even with nearly thirty people sharing the same fate.

“There are more of you than I thought. Come on, let’s see the faces of those who haven’t paid attention to the senior codes.” said the senior holding the megaphone, starting to question each of us about why we hadn’t met our seniors.    “I’ve warned you, those who haven’t found their seniors will face the most humiliating punishment. Phiis from the entertainment committee, please bring out the equipment.”

Several seniors brought out a variety of costumes. I started to feel uneasy. What’s that? T^T, there were animal costumes, fruit costumes, women’s nightgowns, traditional Thai sarongs, and many more. Don’t tell me we have to wear those!

Noooooo!

And my hopes were dashed; God wasn’t on my side today. We had to draw lots to decide who would wear which costume. At least, I prayed not to get the spaghetti strap top or the sarong, please.

“Ha ha ha ha, Foam, little lady, going to bathe at which water hole?” I teased Foam after he was picked to wear the sarong, and to make matters worse, he had to wear a shower cap too, thankfully they didn’t make him take off his shirt.

“Damn it, all my dignity as a man is gone.” Foam muttered, looking annoyed.    “Come on, don’t think too much about it. Look at Prem, he’s got the spaghetti strap top. He’s more stressed than you.” Phoon pointed out, indicating the unluckiest person of the day. Imagine a guy having to wear a tiny spaghetti strap top, especially over his student shirt, must feel so cramped.

“But at least you’re better off, Phoon, you got the pajamas.” Phoon was given striped pajamas, his hair tied into two buns, and his face made up with circles of red lipstick on his cheeks and black marks all over his face, like he’d been pranked by friends while asleep, but everyone was made up similarly.

“What the heck are you supposed to be, Ter, an eggplant demon?” Foam asked. I let out a heavy sigh as I looked down at myself. Yes, I had turned into an eggplant demon, forced to wear an eggplant costume. And I didn’t know if they ran out of budget or what, but I was covered in real eggplants hanging all over, making it quite heavy. At least being a cute strawberry costume would have been better.    “Yeah, I’m stuck because of this leaf, but at least I’ve got my banana demon friend here, right Film?” I turned to hug my friend in the banana costume, poor Film, who was hung with bananas all over his body, “How much for a bunch of bananas?”

“A hundred baht per bunch, hey, quit it, don’t pull my bananas.” Film protested when Foam tugged a banana from him and started to eat it.

“Here, you won’t go hungry, bananas are still edible. But Ter, you’re stuck with useless eggplants, they’re not even tasty to eat.” Foam said.

“I’m full of nutrients, you know.” I argued back, feeling the tightness from the bun hairstyle they made me wear, and the stickiness on my face from the makeup, which included red lip circles on my cheeks and cat-like whiskers drawn in black.

“Everyone, line up. We’re going out to show off our outfits.” I almost swallowed my saliva when I heard we had to go outside, “Those who aren’t dressed up, come along too, to support your friends.”

“We’ll start dancing in front of our faculty, then we’ll go around the faculties on this side.” which meant all the health-related faculties like Medicine, Pharmacy, and many others, “Actually, I’d like us to go around the whole university, but it might be too tiring. Last year, my batch went around the entire university, though.” “Sigh, I’m stressed.” Phoon sighed.

“I shouldn’t have forgotten to find my senior code.”

“Ter, stay close to me, okay?” said the banana devil. I nodded, sticking with the same group was the best.

Because of the loud drums in front of our faculty, people nearby came to watch, take pictures, and some even filmed Jo. Should I be happy for bringing joy to everyone? T^T

And then, it was time for the show…

Sound of a heron standing in a rice field, looking at the shrimps, crabs, and fish, and then…

“Dance more energetically, the strawberry junior dances well, come on, one more time.” I felt increasingly embarrassed as more people came to watch, and passersby started to pay attention too.

“The one in the bear costume is so cute, and has a nice waist, screammmmm!”

“That junior in the robe is doing great!”

“Dance more!”

We heard comments from the audience as we moved to the courtyard in front of the Medical Faculty. Oh no, please don’t let Phii Hill be there. I’m so embarrassed.    “Can I take a photo with you?” a voice came from behind me; turning around, I saw a small girl with a phone asking for a picture.

“Me?”

“Yes, the eggplant junior.”

“Uh…sure.” I gave a broad smile for the photo. I couldn’t believe someone actually asked for a picture, but being called ‘eggplant junior’ wasn’t the best thing.

“All freshmen, repeat after me.” one of the cheerleading leaders announced through the megaphone when we stopped in front of the Medical Faculty, “Shiny white doctors.”

“Doctorrrrrrrrs.” and everyone shouted back, especially the girls. I’ll just say it quietly then.

“Was your class hard today, ladies and gentlemen?”

“Was your class hard today, ladies and gentlemen?”

“If your class was hard, come watch us dance to relieve your stress!”    “If your class was hard, come watch us dance to relieve your stress!” They shouted so loudly that it echoed through the entire medical faculty building.    Oh no, this is bad luck. Don’t call the doctors like that. What if they actually come down to watch, what then? T^T. Not long after, many people started to gather, either leaning over the balcony from the upper floors or coming down to watch from below.

“Hey, the vet students are dancing again this year, and the outfits are even more spectacular than last year!”

The drums started to play, signaling the beginning of the performance. Ugh, I’m exhausted, the costume is heavy, and each dance move is so embarrassing.

“Your doctor is here.” Phoon whispered, making me whip around to look immediately.

Phii Hill!

How did he get here so fast? I didn’t see him before. He was standing there with other doctors, identifiable by their white lab coats. Phii Hill gave me a slight smile before he started to chuckle when the music began, signaling us to start dancing.    Oh no, don’t look, don’t let him see me as the eggplant demon, please no, T^T, ughhhhhh.

“Hey, the doctors are coming down to watch, so we’ve got to show off a bit, right?” The voice boomed through the megaphone along with the drum beats. It was probably just playful banter between faculties. At the orientation, there was also a lot of teasing back and forth.

But it didn’t have to be right now! T^T

“Repeat after me. Even if you’re a vet doc, you can still heal my heart, right?” This seemed to make the girls quite shy, unlike the guys who were all stiff and reluctant to speak.

Right, who would dare to say that, T^T.

“Guys, you say it too.”

“Say it and dance. I’m watching your lips. Right now, only guys speak, and do it loudly.”

“Even if you’re a vet doc, you can heal my heart, right?”

“Even if you’re a vet doc, you can heal my heart, right?”

Why do I have to say this in front of Phii Hill? T^T. I sneakily glanced over. It looks like Phii Hill is having a great time, even pulling out his phone to record me, nooooo, ugh, this is really the most embarrassing punishment, isn’t it?

“Damn, why do I have to do this? Just now, someone called me ‘sarong junior’.” Foam said, almost in tears, while trying to dance to the beat, which seemed quite challenging.

“I understand, I was just called ‘eggplant junior’.” I said sympathetically.

“Oh dear, Hill’s eggplant junior.” Phoon teased.

“Please, you in your pajamas don’t even talk, want to swap outfits?”    “No way, seeing you in it would stress me out, watch out for your eggplant falling off, Ter, there’s a ball on your shoulder.”

“Shit.” I couldn’t help but curse, then I stopped dancing to tie the eggplant back with the straw rope. If it fell off, it would be even more embarrassing.

“Why did you stop dancing, eggplant junior?”

Shit…

“Come to the front.”    Shit, I’m doomed…

Nooooo. I tried resisting as hard as I could when my evil friends dragged me forward.

“Ter, they told you to go to the front, let’s go.”

“Phoon, you beast! Don’t pull me, nooo.” I protested, why did it have to be me, just for stopping for a moment, boo hoo.

“What’s your name? Let’s see your name tag.” and despite all my efforts, I was eventually pushed to the front, “Nong Easter, code 034, the eggplant junior who couldn’t find his senior code and even tried to slack off by not dancing.”    “Why didn’t you dance?” And then the senior handed me the megaphone to answer, oh my God, I was so embarrassed, in front of so many people, why in this outfit, and now being called out? T^T

“Uh…” I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what to say; why did I feel like I was being ganged up on? T^T

“Okay, okay, we won’t tease you anymore, let’s head to the Dental Faculty next, thank you to the doctors for watching us.” I didn’t look at Phii Hill because I was too embarrassed, and I quickly walked towards the next faculty.

“That was exhausting.” Foam complained after the seniors’ punishment session was over, and we finally returned to our faculty to change. It was almost evening by the time we finished, “And how do I take off this sarong? Why did they tie it so tightly?”

“There’s a safety pin at the back.” I pointed out, also wanting to get out of this outfit as soon as possible, but let’s wait till we reach the changing room.

“Uh…junior.” a voice called from behind, making me turn around. There were three senior guys, and one of them was the one who asked me, “Can I take a picture with you?”

“Me?” I pointed to myself, not expecting a guy to ask for a photo.

“Yes, the eggplant junior.”

Oh no, so I’ve officially become the eggplant junior, T^T. The senior gave a wide, kind smile.

“Sure.” I said, dragging my eggplant-laden self over to stand beside him for the photo, while his friend took the picture.    “Thank you, your name is Nong Easter, right?”

“Yes.” I nodded in confirmation, “You know me?”

“I heard your name mentioned at the medical faculty’s courtyard.” He said, “I’m

Knight, from the dental faculty.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I just left it at that.

Why would this dentist want to take a picture with me and even introduce himself?    “I wanted to take a picture when you were dancing in front of our faculty, but I was too late. You looked cute.”

“Thank you.” I gave a somewhat awkward smile, unsure how to react to compliments.

“Uh, I have to head back now. See you around, I’ll tag you on the photo on Facebook.” And with that, he hurried off. I didn’t even get a chance to ask how he knew my Facebook profile; he was quick.

“Who was that, Ter?” Phoon and Foam, who were waiting for me, asked.

“He just wanted to take a picture.”

“Oh, since you’re wearing that costume, everyone wants to take photos like never before. Is it that strange?” Foam questioned.

“This costume is super cursed.” Phoon remarked.

“It’s terrible, it’s hurting my soul.”

And so, we, the bunch of oddballs, finally made it to the changing room at the faculty. Those who didn’t have to change had already left. It was just us and the seniors packing up the equipment.

“Hey, hey, look at this.” someone’s voice called out, drawing everyone’s attention in the room, and they all turned to look. I, who was in the middle of changing, couldn’t move.

“What is it?” another senior asked.

“Why is it so hard to take off?” Phoon complained while helping Foam to remove the eggplants from me, “They’re all tangled together. Can we just cut through the straw strings?”

“No, he said to take it off carefully, so they can reuse the costume.”

“Madman, how are you going to reuse it? The eggplant will have wilted by then.”

“I don’t know, but he said not to cut it.” I said with a sigh, glancing at the banana devil…who was struggling just as much.

“Isn’t that Dr. Hill, the one coming this way?”

Huh! I turned around abruptly when I heard that name, is Phii Hill coming…?    “Yes, yes, still wearing his lab coat. Probably just came from the lab, but why is he here at our faculty now?”

“Or maybe…”

“That doctor who said in an interview he’s wooing someone in the vet faculty, screammm, he must be here to find that person.” a woman from the equipment section squealed, causing everyone in the room to get excited.

“Hey, are we about to find out who it is? Should we follow him sneakily? Is there anyone else still at our faculty?”

“I don’t know, but there are some people studying upstairs.”

“He’s here, shall we go say hi?”

“Let’s do it, let’s go say hi.”

“Dr. Hilllll, are you looking for someone?” That woman walked out and called out to Phii Hill. I couldn’t see what happened because I was still stuck here.

“I’m here to see Professor Kesarin, is she in?” I heard Phii Hill’s voice from near the doorway.

“I think she’s still here, she takes forever to go home.” and then I saw Phii Hill and that woman stop in front of the room, with Phii Hill wearing his lab coat and holding a thick stack of documents.

“Uh, thank you.” Phii Hill said before scanning the room, his eyes met mine for a brief moment with a slight smile, then he walked away. I doubt anyone else noticed that smile just now.

“You’re so lucky, what’s with standing that close to Dr. Hill?”    “Just a bit, he even thanked me just now, did you hear that? Ugh, I’m embarrassed.”

“You’re imagining it. He was just being polite.”

“But being close to him felt so nice. I wonder what cologne he uses to smell so good all the time.”

“Stop it. He’s got someone special already. Move on, you all.”

“I just want to be his imaginary girlfriend, that’s all. But he wasn’t here for that person, what a letdown. I was gonna sneak a peek.”

“Exactly, I’m really curious to know who you are in our faculty.”

The seniors’ conversation made Foam and Phoon exchange a big teasing look.

“Isn’t it really you? Aren’t you jealous? With such a hot boyfriend.” Phoon whispered teasingly.

“We’re not even dating yet. Focus on getting these eggplants off me.” I said quietly, worried about others hearing.

“He said your boyfriend smells nice too, if it were me, I’d be insanely jealous.” Foam added.

Oh, come on, what’s with you guys, always teasing. Sigh, but as far as I know, Phii Hill doesn’t wear cologne. I haven’t seen a single bottle in his room.    “Seriously, aren’t you jealous?” Foam pressed on, making me frown at him. If you ask if I’m jealous, maybe a little, knowing that the doctor is liked by many. But I trust him too.

“How about this, if the doctor comes down again, shall we ask him about that person?” the same girl continued, seemingly making a big deal out of Phii Hill’s recent walk-by.

“Would the doctor even tell?”

“If he doesn’t, it’s fine. We’ll just chat with him anyway. Just being able to talk to him makes us happy.”

“Uh-huh. You mean you like him without expecting anything in return.”    “Yes. Just go ask him yourself. It’s not wrong, right? Just being near her is enough for me, so, for now, I’ll be her imaginary boyfriend.”

“You never know, it might be me. I’m in the same vet faculty after all, maybe the doctor secretly likes me but is too shy to say it.”

“You’re imagining too much. Nothing in the doctor’s interview matched you at all.”

And finally, the eggplant costume was successfully removed, thanks to the kind help of Foam and Phoon. Even though the costume was off, I was still itchy from the leaves.

“Did you hear that, Ter? You should do something, you know.” Foam said. Why does everyone say that? Ever since North, what am I supposed to do, T^T.

   “What do you want me to do?”

“Anything. The doctor has been clear about his feelings for you.”

“I don’t know what to do, should I just walk up and say that person is me? That’s crazy.”

“Sigh, you’re hopeless.” Foam sighed heavily. Phoon looked at me with sympathy, and for some reason, I felt annoyed by his gaze.

“Alright, how about you pretend to push me when the doctor walks by?” the same girl suggested.

“You’re crazy, that joke’s so old.”

“Oh, can’t I? Hey, your boyfriend’s here, let me mentally prepare for a moment.” The woman said, then let out a big sigh.

So, when she said ‘boyfriend,’ she meant Phii Hill, right?

“Doctor, how’s it going? Was the professor there?”

“She was.” I, who was still packing up, turned to see the same scene as before. That woman was talking to Phii Hill at the doorway, with the other girls secretly standing behind the wall for support.

   “Ter, are you going to give in?” Foam asked. I glanced at him once before going back to packing my things.

“That’s good. It would’ve been bad if she wasn’t there, and what documents did you bring for the professor?”    “It’s the first-year lab documents.”

“Wow, the doctor helps with the first-year labs too? That’s impressive, I thought the second years did that. We’d like to do labs with the doctor.”

I don’t know why that woman is so good at starting conversations, they must have known each other before, I guess.

“I let someone else handle the second-year ones.”

“Oh, that’s too bad, and are you heading back now?”

“Yeah, I’m about to leave.”

“Right, right, you live at the condo near the big roundabout, right? Can I catch a ride back with you? I can get off halfway, my friend isn’t available to drop me off today.”

“What a shameless, bold-faced person, how can she be so daring?” one of the friends hiding by the wall whispered in irritation, which I overheard because we were also about to leave.

“She’s got the guts, man, chances to talk like this with Jo don’t come by easily.”    “Hey!” I exclaimed in surprise when suddenly Foam pushed me towards Phii Hill and, uh…someone probably named Fai. I stumbled and almost bumped into Phii Hill.

“…” Phii Hill looked at me, confused. I was at a loss for what to do, oh my God, Foam, could you please coordinate with me first?

“Uh…Nong Ter, is there something you need?” Fai asked. I thought I heard a soft whisper from those two suggesting I should just speak up.    Now, what am I supposed to say? Boo hoo, T^T

“I mean…” I turned to look at Phii Hill.

“I’m hungry.”

I was just stating the facts…yes, indeed. Right now, I’m starving, how was I supposed to know what Emmy was referring to when she said to speak up? Meanwhile, PiiFai looked utterly confused, and the two guys behind me sighed loudly as if they were deeply disappointed in me.

   “Sure, I’ll take you to get something to eat.” Phii Hill said in a soft, deep voice, reaching out to gently take my hand and leading me away from there immediately, amidst Phii Fai’s bewilderment. When I turned back, I saw Foam and Phoon walking off in another direction. I guess they must be heading back.

“Anything special you’d like to eat?” The person holding my hand asked.

“Uh…ramen.”

“Okay.” The tall figure turned to smile sweetly at me, before leading me towards the medical faculty area.

“You look especially cute today, like an eggplant.”

“Stop teasing me.” I said, my voice slightly sulky.

“I’m not teasing, I’m stating the truth.”

“Did you take a picture? Delete it.” I said, feeling embarrassed. Why would you take a picture?

“No way.”

“And here…” Phii Hill stopped walking and turned to look at me, “You’ve got a rash all over.” His large hand gently touched my neck where it was itchy from the eggplant leaves. I didn’t even realize I had a rash.

“Let’s put some ointment on it first.” The tall figure in the gown said as he led me into the medical building and then into the nurse’s room. There’s a nurse’s room here too? And Phii Hill even has the key, “Wait here a moment.” Being in the nurse’s room with Phii Hill in his doctor gown, it really felt like I was with a real doctor.

But Phii Hill is a real doctor…

I sat down on the chair with ease, thinking it would be good to get some ointment before I end up scratching my skin off.

“Don’t scratch, okay?” Phii Hill lightly tapped my hand that was scratching my neck, “It’ll get worse.”

Phii Hill sat down on the chair, dipped a cotton swab in ointment, and gently applied it to the rash on my neck. Watching him put on the ointment, it reminded me of the first time we met.

   The very first time we met…

   I fell for him so hard…

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 21: Painting Club

   “Ter, calm down, don’t let your soul escape, hey.” North shook me and was making a fuss next to me, and I heard everything, but my consciousness seemed to have truly drifted away.

“I’ll take the best care of him. :)”

Ohhhhh, what can I say to someone like this, how can I argue back when I never win. There’s no embarrassment in saying something like that in front of thousands, huuuh. Even if he doesn’t say who it is, he could at least think about the listeners’ feelings, others must be stunned, but I’m the one who feels like I’ve died, T^T.    Ohhhh, that doctor is insane, did he really mean to give me a heart attack? I can’t take it anymore, it’s just too much. Can I really be with someone like that, ohhhh.

   A warm feeling spread across my chest. I don’t know what it is, but it’s both warm and feels like it’s burning my heart, making me afraid that one day I might really melt. Why does it have to deal so much damage, T^T.

   “Man, I’m embarrassed for you, what’s with this crazy doctor?” North said, turning to look at the screen where the live stream was playing. Both Emmy and Phii Napdao were screaming so loudly they didn’t care about the viewers, and the comments were coming in so fast I could barely keep up. I was somewhat relieved to be watching through a screen.

I can’t even imagine how I’d react if Phii Hill said this to my face.

But the problem is there are thousands of people watching.

“Screaming, I’ve screamed so much my throat hurts, doctor, if you’re going to torture my heart like this, are you planning to become a surgeon in the future? Could you please operate on my heart too, it’s just too much for me, I’m jealous. To the one who has Hill’s heart, did you borrow your luck from a past life? How did you get so much good karma?”

“Oh, the comments are coming too fast, I can’t keep up. Take it easy, let’s talk slowly, see, people are really dying from the doctor’s words. If anyone dies, what will you do to take responsibility?”

Emmy asked playfully, but Phii Hill just smiled without saying anything.    “Just now you said it was the last question, but it’s like…we can’t just leave it at that, can we ask just one more thing, okay? Can we delay the rehearsal just a little?” Emmy turned to ask Phii Napdao.

“Just a tiny bit more.” Phii Napdao said.

“Okay, just a quick chat then, please bear with us a little longer.”

I was starting to feel uneasy. At first, I thought it would end there, but then there’s this additional interview. Part of me wants to close the stream, but another part is dying to see more.

: Yeah, good, keep talking, I’ll just watch the doctor’s face, it’ll help with my longing.

   : Secretly sad, but I’ll support the doctor. Even though it hurts us, I hope she’s happy with him, ohhhh.

   : I wish to have Hill as my own, can I take Hill home with me? Where would you find another perfect and loyal person like him?

   : The doctor is my little junior’s boyfriend. I’m imagining myself as the owner of the doctor’s heart. I’m thrilled, rolling around three times, ><.    I must have really borrowed my luck from a past life to be this fortunate in this one, I’ll go do some good deeds for a bit.

: I’ll take Dr. Fah too, Phii Hill probably won’t be single anymore. Ohh, all hope is lost, isn’t it?

“All the comments are full of lamentations. Oh dear, you little monkey. I’m as heartbroken as they are, you know, I’ve had my eye on Doctor Hill since that freshman orientation.”

Suddenly, North’s hand slapped my shoulder so hard that I jolted and quickly turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Did you really save up from your past lives for this?” North asked.

“Are you crazy? How would I know that?”

“Then why are you so lucky? What did you do to make the doctor like you so much?”

“Are you interviewing me now? I don’t know, I can’t remember what he said for about five years, I didn’t even know Phii Hill back then.” I said, and North’s face turned sour.

“Wow, how come? But you’re really enviable to someone like me who’s heartbroken. Seeing you in love like this, it really hurts. I’ll leave it here for now, Ter.”

“What? Don’t make that gloomy face, you’ll find someone too, trust me.” I said, trying to console the person sitting next to me, understanding how it feels to be hurt in love, because when I was, I was annoyed by every couple I saw.

“You don’t have to console me, how do you know I will?”

“I can feel that in past lives, you must have accumulated enough good karma alongside me.” I said playfully, making North chuckle a little, his sad expression fading.

“Wow, so you and I have been close for many lifetimes, huh?” North said, laughing while giving my shoulder a hearty slap.

“Anyway, let’s ask the grumpy doctor for fun.” Emmy’s voice redirected our attention back to the screen, “You said you liked him for five years, and has he known for long or just found out?”

“I think he just found out.”

“Five years, did you know each other before?”

“Yes.”

“And why didn’t you tell him? Why keep it for so long?”

“Well…” Emmy’s question made Phii Hill go silent for a moment, looking pensive. Yeah…if I had known from the start, things might have been better…no, wait, that might not have been good either, yes…because back then, Christy still liked Phii Hill.

“Back then, nothing was settled, including me not having enough courage.” Phii Hill said.

“Ah, I understand. When you like someone a lot, you fear disappointment even more. Sometimes, just watching over them is good enough, right?” Emmy said,

“So why do you have the courage now?”

“I just thought…I don’t want to lose him again…that’s all.”

Gasp! Damn it. If he hadn’t looked at me with such serious eyes, the damage wouldn’t have been this severe, right? Ohhh.

   “Aye! The more I ask, the more my heart feels like it’s thinning out, no different from tissue paper now. It’s like every question just confirms that I have no chance with you, doctor. Why are you so committed in love?”

“Because you said you’ll take the best care, so we don’t need to ask how it would be if we were dating, right? Can you help me ask something, Joke?” Emmy turned to ask Joke who was sitting on the other side.

“Well, hey. You’re the representative of the page interviewing, what should I ask?”

Joke already knows it’s me, T^T, everyone in the Star Moon contest crew knows.

Plus, with so many hints, it won’t be long before everyone finds out.

“Then let’s have the doctor talk about the latest photo he posted, the one with the caption, ‘Not smiling at the camera, but smiling for the photographer.’ What’s the meaning behind that, Emmy? I heard you don’t like taking photos much, right?” Emmy turned to ask Phii Hill again, whose face showed signs of being tired from work now turning into slight annoyance, as far as I could tell.

“It depends on who’s taking the photo.” Phii Hill answered, making both the interviewer and us listeners, like me and North, drop our jaws at the same time.

Wait, did he just imply…

“Screaming, Doctor! Are you saying that if it’s not your junior taking the photo, you don’t want to take pictures? Ohhh, so you’re not going to care about anyone else’s camera? You hardly post any photos on the page as it is, who will dare to take your photo now?” Emmy said while twisting in her seat.

“Then we’ll have to bother that junior to send us photos of you, otherwise, our page won’t have any pictures of Dr. Hill.” Emmy added, more in jest than anything.

: Ohhh, the doctor is just too much, T^T, we know you don’t like photos, ohhh, but to specify the photographer like that is too much.

   So, we’ll have to sneak photos then. It’s okay, we usually sneak photos anyway, LOL.

   : Doctor, what’s this feeling of being left out?

   “Nothing more to ask then. Plus, we’ve bothered the doctor enough, let him rest now. Just one last thing. If the doctor stops being single, half of our university girls will be devastated, but thankfully, there are still three other good doctors. Camera, pan over there.” Emmy ordered, and the camera turned towards Phii Johan, Phii Tonfa, and Phii Arthit, who were sitting at another table.

“We still have some eye and heart candy, I’m sure you all know them already. Next time, we’ll try to talk to these three. There are still comments asking for more with Dr. Hill, but our time’s almost up. Thank you, doctor, and sorry for taking so much of your time.” Emmy thanked Dr. Hill, who also thanked her back, then gave a brief closing remark before ending the interview.

Watching the interview with Phii Hill was just a few minutes long, but those few minutes were enough to ‘kill’ me, sigh. I let out a heavy sigh.

“That was quite a sigh.” North said before getting up from the table, stretching lazily, and then flopping back onto the bed.

“What if everyone finds out it’s me?” I asked, with a slightly worried look.

“Why does it matter? You don’t have to do anything about it.” The person on the bed responded with a tone of disinterest.

“…”

“…” I didn’t reply because I didn’t know what to say. Indeed…why should I do anything? If everyone knew it was me, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

I had already told myself not to overthink about what others think.    Then, my laptop screen, which was still on the Facebook page, showed a notification that someone had sent a message.

Hill Ratchakit: Did you watch earlier?

   Easter Panupong: Watched.

   Easter Panupong: Who told you to say that in front of so many people?

   I started to complain to Phii Hill via chat. After all, how could one not complain?

He just spoke without considering the listeners’ feelings.

Hill Ratchakit: Are you embarrassed?

   Easter Panupong: Not embarrassed at all!

   Hill Ratchakit: Really? But I bet you must be blushing right now.

   Hill Ratchakit: I really want to see.

   Easter Panupong: Not blushing.

   Easter Panupong: sends angry sticker

   I sent an angry sticker too. Does he have some kind of clairvoyant vision to know I’m blushing? Even though I really am blushing…

Hill Ratchakit: Even though I’ve said it already, let me say it again.

   Easter Panupong: Say what?

   Hill Ratchakit: I miss you. 🙂

   Ohhhh, he doesn’t spare me even in chat, huh? And now how am I supposed to reply to this, T^T

Easter Panupong: Uh…yeah

   Easter Panupong: Not rehearsing?

   Hill Ratchakit: About to start rehearsing, have you eaten yet?

   Easter Panupong: Not yet.

   Hill Ratchakit: Make sure to eat something.

   Easter Panupong: Same to you.

   Hill Ratchakit: Okay.

   Hill Ratchakit: Sorry, I’m not very free today.

   Easter Panupong: It’s okay.

   Really, you don’t have to apologize, Phii Hill is already studying hard and being the president of the club, plus with the term starting, I guess you’ll be very busy. I understand, it’s no big deal.

   Hill Ratchakit: I’ll go rehearse now.

   Hill Ratchakit: See you tomorrow.

   Easter Panupong: Okay.

   Easter Panupong: Sends a sticker

   Even though I replied like that, I didn’t understand what Emmy meant by “see you tomorrow.” It’s not like he’s going to surprise me by picking me up at my dorm or waiting for me at the faculty, right?

THE NEXT DAY

   I finally understood what Emmy meant by “see you tomorrow.” Today is the day for first-year students to sign up for clubs, for which North had already preregistered. It’s like reserving a spot, but you still need to come and confirm your registration to show you’re really joining. If you don’t show up today, your name will be removed, and you’ll have to find another club later.

Whether it’s for unity or chaos, the university decided to have all faculties sign up at the same location. Even though the times are different, it’s still crowded.

Today, in the afternoon, it’s my faculty and about three or four others.

Luckily, North’s engineering faculty is also there, so we came together.

“Listen up, all freshmen.” The voice of one of the professors came over the speakers, “Now you have to choose your clubs. I’m giving you time until exactly 3:00 PM. If your friends haven’t arrived yet, please chase them down. At 3:00 PM sharp, we will stop accepting applications. If you miss this, you’ll have to come later to sign up, but once you’re at the university, you need to take responsibility for being on time.”

“You need to choose one sports club and at least one non-sports club. I say ‘at least’ which means you can choose more than one non-sports club if you wish, understand?”

“Here in this area, there will be booths set up by various clubs from your seniors. If you’re interested in any, go and ask for information. If you want to join, queue up and sign up in an orderly fashion, and remember, each club has a limited number of members they can accept.”

When the teacher finished explaining, everyone dispersed. It was now two in the afternoon, which meant we had one hour to claim spots in the clubs we wanted to join before they filled up, and with so many people, it got chaotic. Everyone was checking out the different booths, but the area was spacious enough to avoid too much crowding. The seniors were loudly advertising their clubs as if they were selling goods.

“Come on, Ter, let’s go, the football club might take a lot of people, but it fills up fast.” North said, pulling me into the crowd.

“But we’ve already pre-registered, right? They should at least reserve our spots.” I asked.

“They do reserve, but if you’re not there within half an hour, they’ll remove your name and take new people.” He explained.

“Oh.” I nodded in understanding. I was about to ask why the rush since we still had half an hour, but looking around…we really did need to hurry because the lines were long.

“And what about the Art Club?” I asked, unsure if we’d have time to sign up there after finishing here.

“We should make it, I’ve checked, it’s not likely to have many sign-ups.”

“Let’s hope so.” I said, thinking of Phoon. He had said he wanted to join the same club, so I called to tell him to hurry up. Soon enough, Phoon arrived, and as expected, Foam, who had abandoned us, was nowhere to be seen. The three of us then lined up together to sign up.

When we got near the front of the line, I learned that Phii Arthit was the head of the football club, as third and fourth years generally don’t get too involved in university activities due to projects and internships, so second years like him manage the freshmen.

“Hey, you’re here to join football, right?” Phii Arthit greeted me cheerfully as I filled out the long application form. Even though there were several tables for filling out forms at the same time, it still took a while.

“Yeah.” I said with a smile.

“Do you like football?”

Uhh, is this like an interview question?

   “Oh, yes.” I wanted to say I didn’t know what else to play, but I figured I couldn’t say that.

“I thought you might go for basketball with Hill.”

“Uh…no, thank you.” I gave a strained smile and continued filling out the application form. Why does this application have so many questions? It’s like an exam or something, T^T.

“Sigh, how annoying. Now I’ll have to see him loitering around the club often.”    “Loitering?” I repeated what Phii Arthit said.

“With someone as possessive as Hill every year. If anyone bothers you, he’s definitely in for trouble.” His words left me speechless. Would Hill come to watch over me at the club? No, please, T^T. Then who’s going to have fun?

“And what club are Phii Jo and Phii Fah in?” I asked.

“Jo is in the basketball club with Hill. Jo doesn’t care about anything, so it’s easy for him to just stick with Hill. As for Fah, he’s in tennis…speak of the devil, here he comes.”

I turned to look where Phii Arthit pointed. There was a crowd, but if you looked closely, you’d see the brother we were just talking about walking this way, attracting attention from everyone around, their eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Hey, look, it’s Hill, the doctor!” said a girl from the volleyball club nearby.

“Where?”

“There, the one walking towards us.”

“Oh, I see him now. Wow, even from far away, you can see how handsome he is.”

“Too bad he’s taken, but it’s okay, Phii Johan walking with him is also super hot.

I call dibs.”

“But I like Phii Fah, he’s so cool.”

Then the girls started screaming. I wonder if the brothers are used to this. I don’t know if Phii Arthit could hear them, but I certainly did, being right next to them.

Wow, they’re really popular.

“Ter…your boyfriend’s here.” Phoon, who was filling out his application next to me, whispered, causing me to shoot him a glare. What are you talking about?

They’re going to hear you!

   “I’d be happy if I was just half as handsome as him.” North said.

“Yeah, I wish I was that tall.” Phoon turned to North. North looked back, as if they both understood the silent agreement of short guys.

I, being about the same height as those two, understood completely, but that wasn’t the issue at hand. The issue was Hill was coming, and I was here filling out a football club application. Ugh, I’m so confused, especially since Hill just told me last night that he missed me.

Uh…More importantly, every word he said yesterday still echoes in my ears, T^T    “Are you guys all set?” Phii Arthit seemed to greet three friends who stopped standing next to me while I was looking down, not raising my head to look up.

“Umm, we’re full.”

“Really, why did the basketball club fill up so quickly?”

“With Dr. Hill’s level. Especially the girls’ basketball, it was full within the first five minutes.” said Phii Johan.

“Great, our football club only accepts boys, it would be annoying, what about tennis?”

“Also full. Your football club does take in a lot of people though.”

“Yeah, and Hill-”

“Ter, are you signing up for the football club?” Phii Hill’s voice made me have to look up to see who was speaking.

“I’ll take good care of you, :)”

It was the same voice from yesterday that said he would take good care of me. I don’t know why this sentence keeps repeating in my head like that.

“Uh…Yes.” I answered, stuttering.

“Hey, he just asked you, you don’t need to blush.” said North, making me turn around to glare at him again. Is this the time to tease?

“I’m starting to want to switch to the football club, Joe, Fah, want to join?” Phii Hill asked with a slight sly smile to his two friends.

“Sure/ sure.”

Phii Tonfa and Phii Johan answered in unison. I furrowed my brows, puzzled at the conversation, but then I remembered there were still many people waiting in line behind me, so I quickly finished writing and soon handed the application to Phii Arthit. He took it and then reached out for the applications from Phoon and North.

“Have you signed up for any other clubs?” Phii Hill asked me. We moved behind the registration table to not block the queue.

“Not yet.” I replied.

“Have you thought about which club you want to join?”

“Uh, the art club.” I answered, believing Phii Hill must be surprised since he knows I’m not good at drawing at all, and as expected, he seemed surprised when he heard that.

“Are you going to join the art club?” Phii Hill paused for a moment. “Jo, do you know the adviser of the art club?”

“Oh, Professor Patmavarn, why do you ask? Don’t tell me you’re thinking of joining the art club.” Phii Johan raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Uh-huh.” Phii Hill nodded in response.

“Who came up with that idea?” Phii Johan asked.

“North.” I answered, pointing at North. He shot me a slight glare when I implicated him. Upon hearing it was North’s idea, Phii Johan immediately put his hand to his forehead, looking stressed.    “Sigh, don’t do it, nong, I’m telling you.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just that…oh, never mind.” Phii Johan brushed it off, which only made us more curious about what he meant. If you’re going to say something, just say it all.

“It’s fine, I’ll take you there.” Phii Hill said. I wanted to ask Phii Johan more, but I had to keep my questions to myself and walked towards the back of the booth where there weren’t as many people.

“Why do you need to escort me?” I turned to ask Phii Hill, who was walking beside me. It’s just nearby, he didn’t need to come with me.

“I said I’d take care of you the best I can.” The tall figure turned and said with a gentle smile, the kind he always gives. His words made me catch my breath for a

moment.

Wow, I can hardly breathe, that’s more damaging than watching a live stream.    “Didn’t you say if we were dating, it wouldn’t be like this? We’re not even dating yet.” I said, remembering that Emmie asked if we would be dating.    “Then, Ter, why don’t you be my boyfriend?”

“…!!!”

“Your face is red again.” The tall figure said while gently pinching my cheek.    “Stop it…” I said with a slight pout. Phii Hill smiled indulgently and slowly let go of my face. “Who made me like this, always saying things out of the blue.”

“Hmm…I’m courting you, Ter. It’s not strange at all.”    Oh man, saying that so nonchalantly again.

When I turned to look behind, I caught North and Phoon giving me disapproving looks intermittently, even waving their hands in front of their noses as if to say,

‘Love is in the air and it stinks.’

“Can I hold your hand?” Phii Hill asked.

“Are you crazy? There are so many people around. People are already staring enough as it is.” I said. So, he really meant to keep it a secret from others, huh?

T^T

“That would be even better.”

“Better how?”

“If there’s anyone still eyeing you like this.” Phii Hill leaned down to whisper softly, “it would be quite annoying.” His cold tone gave me goosebumps.    “Who?” I furrowed my brows, wondering if someone was actually eyeing me.

“Nothing, never mind.”

I gave a pouty face to the person walking beside me, but before I could ask more, we had arrived at the art club booth. It seemed there were far fewer people compared to other clubs.

“Joining the art club?” A guy sitting in front of the registration table asked with a cheerful smile. He looked more like a freshman.

We nodded in response and immediately filled out the application forms.    “Thanks for joining our club. We meet every Friday at the old arts building, starting at four, and we finish by six at the latest.” The guy explained in a clear voice.

“Can you introduce yourself? We’re going to be club mates after all. My name’s

‘Daotok’, a first-year in the science faculty.” He said, revealing a broad smile.

“I’m North, a first-year in engineering.” North introduced himself. The name ‘Daotok’ sounds quite feminine for a boy. I guessed it must be because his parents wished for a child from a shooting star; otherwise, they wouldn’t have chosen such a name.

“I’m Easter, you can just call me Ter, from the veterinary faculty.” I said.

“I’m Phoon, nice to meet you, from the vet faculty too.”

After some time, as we were about to leave, Daotok spoke up to Phii Hill. “Uh…Hill, the doctor, right? Would you like to join the art club too?” Daotok invited, which seemed odd since someone like Phii Hill joining the art club was unusual. I had never seen him draw even once.

“Sure.” Phii Hill accepted, which stunned me. He then proceeded to fill out his name on the application form, “Can I write the names for my friends too?”

“Oh, sure.” Hearing that, Phii Hill went ahead and wrote down three more names. No need to guess, they were definitely Phii Johan, Phii Tonfa, and Phii Arthit.

“Thank you. If Dr. Hill joins our club, there will definitely be a lot more interest in it.” Daotok said with delight. Phii Hill accepted the thanks with a smile.    Once all the business was done, Phoon excused himself as he had other matters to attend to. I was supposed to go back with North, but it seems someone didn’t want me to go back just yet.

“Shall we grab something to eat before heading back?” Phii Hill asked, though it sounded more like an order than a question. “Nong North, would you like to come with us?”

“Huh…uh, better not. I don’t want to intrude.” North, who usually loves free stuff, suddenly turned polite.

“It’s no trouble.” Phii Hill said, so North had no choice but to tag along. Before that, we stopped by to meet Phii Arthit and the others. It looked like the football club’s booth was still up, unlike the other clubs which had already started packing up.

“Are you guys leaving already?” Phii Johan asked while sorting through some documents, looking rather annoyed. He was complaining about how Phii Arthit made him sort out the papers.

“Yeah, are you guys heading back too?”

“Yeah, let’s go back. But Arthit is using me like a slave, sorting out some documents. You do it instead.” Phii Johan grumbled.

“Don’t use Hill for that. You have to do it because you didn’t do your group work.” Phii Tonfa said. “Hill, you can go back, but don’t forget to do your work.”    “Got it, Dr. Tonfa.”

“Hill.” Phii Johan called out, “Call me later, okay?” And Phii Hill agreed.    Then the three of us got into the same fancy car. North seemed very excited about the ride. I felt somewhat reassured with North there; at least, Phii Hill might not flirt too much with me.

Reassured with a ghost!

These two are getting along a bit too well!!

“Hmm…Really?” Phii Hill asked North with interest, not even looking at the food the waiter was bringing over.

“Really. At first, Ter came to me for advice, Phii. He seemed so worried when you said you were going to pursue him. He said he felt troubled, but his face was as red as a tomato.”

“North!” I felt like strangling my mischievous roommate. You talk too much, don’t you think I might feel embarrassed? You jerk, T^T.

“And he also said…that he’s actually had a crush on you since high school.”

“…”

Upon hearing that, the tall figure sitting across from me revealed a wide smile before turning to look at me with a delighted expression.

“I just found out.”

“…”

“That Ter had a crush on me since high school.”

!!!

   Oh my God, North, you traitor!!!

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 20: Interview

   “Are you…going to tell others?” I asked while Phii Hill was flipping through TV channels to find something to watch. He turned to look at me with a concerned expression.

“Are you worried?”

“Uh…yeah.” I admitted with a slight nod, a bit worried because it seems everyone is very curious about who it is. Part of me is secretly scared. What will happen if everyone finds out?

“A little bit.” I answered.

“There’s nothing you need to worry about, trust me.” Phii Hill said with a firm tone while reaching out to gently pat my head.

“I won’t tell others.”

“…”

“Not until I’ve won you over.”

Ohhh, here we go. He still hasn’t stopped flirting! How can someone make others so flustered?

“Phii, you weren’t this annoying before.” I murmured to myself. Phii Hill seemed to hear it but just gave a soft chuckle without saying anything.

I looked out the window to see the sky darkening again, indicating that it might rain tonight, which reminded me of North. I should head back.

“Are you leaving already?” When I said I had to go, Phii Hill asked with a slightly displeased look, sigh, don’t make that face.

“Yeah, it’ll rain soon.”

“Won’t you stay over?” Phii Hill asked seriously.

“Uh…no way, I’m worried about North.” I said, genuinely concerned. He called saying he can’t live alone.

“Alright then. Let’s eat together first.” Phii Hill turned off the TV. That sentence was clearly an order, then he stood up and extended his hand to me.

I took Phii Hill’s outstretched hand and pulled myself up.

I could’ve stood up by myself…

Still, Phii Hill always pays attention to these little things that always make me feel warm inside.

He didn’t let go of my hand even as we went down the elevator to the ground floor and walked past several people, some of whom turned to look at us. I felt a bit embarrassed, but I didn’t want to pull my hand away like I usually would.    We went to eat at a restaurant under the condo, probably made for the residents here.

“Let’s order takeout for one more person.” Phii Hill told the staff after we had ordered our food. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity about why he was ordering more.

“For Nong North, I’m treating him.” Phii Hill said, giving a sweet smile with kindness. Huuuh, why is he so nice?

“Thank you on behalf of North.” I nodded, giving a dry smile. I wasn’t sure how to smile about that. If it’s free food, North would love it, especially since he’s been complaining about being broke lately. And now, the tired look on his face was gone. He was back to the usual Phii Hill, did he sneak in a nap or something?

Soon the food was served, including a takeout box for our busy roommate.

“What time is your first class tomorrow?”

“Um…” I went silent to think, I think I checked my schedule, “Nine-thirty, I guess.”

“How are you getting to class?”

“Well…not sure, maybe a friend will pick me up. Or I might go by myself.” I said. I hadn’t even thought about how I’d get to class, might get lost for all I know. I’ll ask Foam and Phoon where it is, and if North is free, I might hitch a ride on his motorbike.

“Okay.” Phii Hill nodded, “If you can’t make it, call me.”

“You won’t miss class?”

“I will.”

“But I can come get you.”

Another heart-stopping moment!

I didn’t ask. I didn’t say anything, or else I’d die another round, I should be a bit concerned about my own heart health. After eating, I had to rush to pay because I heard thunder again!

“I’ll pay for my part.” I said, feeling guilty that he always has to treat me. So, I quickly took out my wallet.

“It’s okay.” Phii Hill said, “We’ll split the bill once we’re officially dating, you know?” And he gave a gentle smile, sighhh. I made a sour face and stuffed my wallet back, so annoying.

The waiter gave Phii Hill a sweet smile, looking like they were about to say something, but when Phii Hill took my hand and led me out of the restaurant, the waiter was left speechless.

Then we got into the same luxurious car. As we slowly moved out of the parking lot, Phii Hill drove much smoother than Phii Johan, by about ten million times. My dad used to say that how someone drives can reflect their personality, which might be true. That means Phii Johan must be quite impulsive.    “Is it okay if I greet you when I see you at the university?”

“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows in confusion, why ask such a thing? “Of course, you can greet me, why wouldn’t you?”

“I thought you might not want others to know.”

“Just greet me normally.”

“Oh…okay.” He then turned his attention back to the road ahead. If it’s just a normal greeting, there’s no problem, but absolutely no flirting like in those beauty pageants. Absolutely not…

The car came to a gentle stop in front of my dorm. I opened the door to get out, not forgetting to thank him for the ride.

“Thanks for the ride, be careful, it looks like it’s going to rain.” I said. If it rains, the roads will be slippery and dangerous for both motorcycles and cars. Phii Hill smiled.

“See you later.” He said. I smiled back, closed the car door properly, and headed straight to my room.

“I’m back.” I shouted as I opened my door, seeing North playing on his phone on the bed, “I brought food too.” Hearing that, the person on the bed quickly jumped up with shining eyes.

“Really? I’m starving.”

“Here.” I handed it over, and North took it happily.

“Thanks, man, how much was it? I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s fine, Phii Hill paid for it.”

“What!?” North exclaimed so loudly that I flinched in surprise, “The doctor treated me? Woah, he’s really pulling out all the stops, is he trying to score points through friends or what? That’s a high-level strategy.”

“Uh, I was just talking randomly.”

Phii Hill probably isn’t trying to score points, I think, because he genuinely cares about everyone around me. North quickly opened the food container and started eating with enjoyment.

“It’s raining.” North said while looking out the window, “Ter, go close the window, or rain will get in.” Being told so, I had to go close the window, and part of me was worried about the person who just drove back to the condo.

“It’s so cold, with the cold weather and the rain. Will it be like this tomorrow?” I asked.

“I think it’ll be like this for several days, better take an umbrella and a jacket.” North replied.

Sigh, the weather is being harsh. And on the first day of the term too.    “Oh, Ter, remember you said you wanted to do part-time work with me? Well, it’s arranged for you, you will be serving at a Japanese restaurant. From six in the evening to midnight.”    “Until midnight, huh?”

“Yeah, people around there stay out late, but it’s good, you won’t have to work every day after class. If you want a day off, you can swap with someone else, but you can’t take Friday off because it’s busy, and we start this Friday, but…”    “But?” I echoed the question.

“Friday, we have to go to the club.”

“Oh right, I saw the announcement, haven’t decided which club to join yet.” I said, thinking about it, because I’m not much into activities.

“First years have to join one sports club and another club of any kind. I’ve looked into it, most clubs end late, only a few end early so we can go to work after.”

“Really, I have to join two clubs, huh.”

“Yeah, and people like us who want something easy and quick are plenty. So most clubs are full.”

“Oh, then what do we do?”

“There’s one club that doesn’t have many members…the Art Club.”

“Huh!?” I furrowed my brows in surprise, the Art Club?? Usually, clubs like that have a decent number of members, right?

“I read the reviews, they said the club advisor is super strict, so not many people sign up. Plus, they don’t allow people already studying art or from the art faculty to join, saying they have enough drawing assignments anyway. They want people to try something new.”

“And I’ve already signed us up for the art club.”

“Hey, North, ask me first, I can’t draw at all!” I protested, oh my, drawing is something I’m absolutely not good at.

“But I had to sign up quickly before it got full.”

“Sigh, my life is over. The teacher is super tough. I bet every Friday will be my personal hell.” I said, letting out a big sigh.

“What about the sports club? What did you sign up for?” I asked.

“Football. Don’t know what else to join, I can’t play anything else.” North said. I agreed with that, since I can’t play other sports either, football.

But I think Phii Hill is in the basketball club.

Uh, football is good then. Joining a club with him would just be risking my heart for no reason.

Ding!

A notification from Messenger.

I immediately checked my phone.

Hill, Ratchakit: Arrived at the condo 🙂

   Ohhhh, sigh. They say when someone goes somewhere, does something, or arrives, they should let others know…That’s kind of cute. I think it’s true.

Nghhhhhhhhhh

Easter Panupong: sends sticker

   I didn’t know what to reply, so I just sent back a smiling sticker.

“You are smiling so much, lovebirds are so annoying.” North teased, then turned his attention back to his boxed meal, “Oh, by the way, thank him for me for the meal.”

“Okay.” I agreed.

Easter Panupong: North says thank you for the food.

   Hill, Ratchakit: No problem.

   Hill, Ratchakit: Was it good?

   “Phii Hill asked if it was good.” I asked North, who nodded in response with his mouth full of rice.

Easter Panupong: He says it’s delicious.

   Hill Ratchakit: That’s good then. If I feed the freshmen something bad, I might get reprimanded.

   Easter Panupong: Who would?

   Hill Ratchakit: No one.

   What’s up with Phii Hill now? Things have been weird since this morning. Could it…be related to Phii Johan?

   “North”

“Hmm?”

“Do you know Phii Johan, the one who came this morning?”

“No idea, isn’t he?”

“You really don’t know him? He’s pretty famous.” I said.

“I’ve seen him around, but that was the first time seeing him in person.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, why would I lie to you?”

“And what do you think?”

“Think about what?”

“Like, what’s he like?”

“Well…he definitely doesn’t look like he should be studying medicine, with his piercings, tattoos, and rough look.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” What North said was spot on, he’s definitely not your typical doctor, more like a rogue Phii Johan.

Hill Ratchakit: I’m going to prepare for the lab now. Don’t stay up late.

   Easter Panupong: Yes, good luck.

   Hill Ratchakit: See you tomorrow 🙂 

   Easter Panupong: sends sticker

   In the end, we wrapped up with a goodnight sticker from me. That’s probably why doctors study so hard; they have to work through the night like this. I hope my faculty isn’t as grueling.

Next Day

   – START OF THE SEMESTER-

   “You’re late, you animal!” North’s voice boomed out at eight in the morning, making me wake up annoyed, seeing the source of the irritating noise already getting dressed.

“What? You have an eight o’clock class?”

“No, nine o’clock.”

“Asshole! Then why are you making a fuss at eight, let me sleep!” I shot back at him before lying down again, only to feel a tug on my arm.

“Wake up, Ter, or you’ll be late.”

“Late for what? I start at half past nine.”

“Just trust me, go shower.” In the end, my good roommate dragged me out of bed. So I quickly showered, got dressed as North urged, and left the dorm.

“Which building are you in?”

“Me? Probably at the faculty building.” I answered.

“Okay, I’ll drop you off first, your faculty is closer.” Then North started up his motorcycle. I almost wanted to bow in thanks for him taking the time to drop me off.

Now I understand why North said we’d be late; the university was packed with traffic, more crowded than I’ve ever seen, both with people rushing on foot and vehicles jammed up.

“Should I wake up at five next time?” I jokingly asked North.

“If you can, that’d be great.”

We arrived at my faculty just before eight forty. North had to ride off to his own faculty building, which I heard was on the opposite side of the university. I stepped into my faculty, already feeling tired. I didn’t know why, but seeing North’s hurried yet futile attempt to speed through the traffic made me feel exhausted on his behalf.

“Hey, Ter, why are you standing there looking confused?” Phoon called out to me, walking over by himself, which was odd because I thought he’d be with Foam.

“Hey, where’s Foam?”

“He’s a traitor, who went to drop off some girl from the Science faculty instead of picking me up.” Phoon said with a sulk. From what I gathered, Foam met a girl from the same dorm and decided to drop her off at class instead of coming for Phoon. Wow…now that’s what you call ditching a friend. It’s not me and Phoon this time.

“And how did you get here?”

“Come alone, it’s good our university has shuttles, but it was crowded so it took me a while to get here, I’ve been waiting since eight.” Phoon complained, “Come on, let’s find our classroom.”

“Where are you going? Our faculty building is this way.” I corrected him, noticing he was heading the wrong way.

“Huh? Did you even check the schedule? The first class is a lab at the medical faculty building.” Phoon said.

Oh no…looks like the first day of the term is already tough.

When we got to the area in front of the medical faculty building, there were quite a few people around, probably because some foundational health science classes are held here, making the building huge. I could confidently say here that Phoon and I were definitely lost.

Yes, me and Phoon, because no one trusts either of us with directions.    “Oh right, I wanted to ask about the clubs. Have you joined any?” Phoon asked me.

“Yeah, the Art Club, with North.”

“That’s great, put my name down too, but not Foam, he’s gone with a girl from the science faculty.”

“You want to join the Art Club with us?”

“Yeah, sign me up too.”

“Alright, I’ll tell North, and for the sports club, I’m thinking of joining football.”    “I’ll join too, I can’t play anything else anyway.” So, it’s me, North, and Phoon, all in the same club. As for Foam, he’s chasing girls, what a pity, he’s the first to abandon his friends.

My first day of classes was filled with struggles. Foam made his entrance by being almost ten minutes late to the first class, luckily the teacher didn’t say anything. I haven’t even seen Phii Hill today. Plus, I didn’t dare to send him any messages because I was afraid he’d be in class. It seems like he’s busy too.

Even though we finished at 4 PM, just like in high school, the level of tiredness was significantly different. I nearly became a vegetable. Initially, I was attentive, but some subjects were really tough to handle.

And then there’s the dissection lab…

No, not the little frogs in formaldehyde.

Since North finishes around the same time, I asked him to swing by and pick me up. North also complained that engineering was just as brutal, just passing is enough for him, no more aspirations for honors.

Well, to have our dreams crushed on the first day like this.

So, is the person who got first place in the medical faculty still human?    I returned to the dorm in such a dilapidated state that I could barely climb the stairs with North. It must be because I’m not used to university life yet. All I could manage was to open the door and collapse onto the bed.

Immediately.

“Hey, hey Ter, look at this, Cute Boy Live is on.” North shoved his phone at me. I raised an eyebrow and looked, and indeed, the page was live-streaming something.

“Hello everyone, this is Emmy, one of the admins of Cute Boy Cute Girl. I’m here to interview Dr. Hill as promised. Here’s thirty thousand baht, count the stars.” and then Emmy pulled out a wad of thousand-baht notes and handed them to Phii Napdao. The comments were all about how this fan page really pampers their idols.

“Don’t spend it on buying followers, okay, Phii Dao? Let’s go see Dr. Hill.”    “I wonder if Dr. Hill will agree to the interview. He seems to be in a bad mood today.”

“Why is that?”

“Dr. Hill is like this when he hasn’t slept. Probably pulled an all-nighter with work last night.” Phii Napdao explained. I got up to turn on my computer thinking it would be more comfortable to watch from there. The viewership was climbing, almost a thousand people now.

: Screaming, Here he comes, Orange, Doctor please, Ohhh, Missed the doctor so much, didn’t get to sneak a peek during the break.

   : Looks grumpy, Still handsome though, I’ve seen him like this before, How?, Want to see more.

   Go for the interview, we’ve been waiting for ages. We’ve donated so much.    “Uh. Looks like everyone’s demanding an interview. Let’s go, hope the doctor doesn’t kill me.” Emmy said, and they headed into the rehearsal area which was in full swing.

A bit further away,

“We’ll start rehearsing in thirty minutes, so ask your questions quickly.”    “Oh no, Dr. Mild is here too. Should we do the interview another day?” Emmy looked slightly worried, turning the camera to show Phii Thanmild sitting with the group of stars.

I, for one, wasn’t feeling very good about this.

Have Phii Baifern and Phii Fon given up? No one’s talking about them anymore.    : Maybe they’ve moved on, Doctor Hill made it pretty clear, but we don’t know about Doctor Mild yet.

   Will there be an interview another day, or is it too much to interview in front of Phii Mild, our queen?

   : Waited so long, do we have to postpone because of Mild? That’s ridiculous.    “What should we do, E-Dao, I’m not going to be free often, I’ve come all the way here.” Emmy turned to speak to Phii Napdao, who looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Let’s just go ahead, Emmy, Doctor Mild will see it eventually, it’ll be on your page anyway, right?”

“Yeah, okay, then let’s go find Doctor Hill.” The two of them walked on until they found four people sitting at a marble table not far from the Star Moon competition venue, it was Phii Hill and Phii Johan. They seemed to be deeply engrossed in their work.

Phii Hill looked up with slightly messy hair and an extremely irritated look like I had never seen before, his eyes were fierce. If it were me, I wouldn’t dare get too close.

“Oh my, huuuh, E-Dao, the doctor’s glaring at me, I’m scared, huuuh, but he’s still so hot, he’s making my heart race.” Emmy said, making a weak gesture before slumping into a nearby chair.

:

   : Wow, that’s intense, my heart’s fluttering, Doctor, don’t make that face.    My heart’s confused, huuuh, Doctor, just take a knife and cut me open, right through my heart.

   Doesn’t Phii Tonfa care about the camera at all? LOL

   Isn’t Phii Johan going to flirt with the girls today? Surprised to see him working with friends, LOL

   : I watched Phii Arthit in the last football match, so cool.

   : I’m melting away, help me!

   “We are here for an interview, Doctor. Do you have some free time?”

“Yes.” Phii Hill replied with a small smile to the camera, setting down the pen he was writing with, but his eyes still showed irritation. What they say about Phii Hill being irritable when he hasn’t slept much seems to be true.    “Don’t make that fierce face, Doctor, it’s not good for my heart.”

“That’s how it is, he has been irritated since morning, too much work, he hasn’t even talked to…his prospective partner.” Phii Johan teased, what prospective partner?

“Sure.” Phii Hill said with a slight smile to the camera, putting down the pen he was using to write something earlier, but his eyes still showed irritation. The idea that Phii Hill would be irritable if he didn’t get enough sleep was indeed true.

“Don’t look so fierce, doctor, it’s a bit off-putting.”

“That’s just how it is, irritable since morning, too much work to even talk to my…prospective partner.” Phii Johan teased, what’s this prospective partner?

“Oh, really? That’s tough, having a doctor as a partner.” The viewership increased again. The comments were full of hearts, with a few sad faces mixed in.

Not sure what they were sad about.

“Is the homework done yet?” Phii Napdao asked as well.

“Almost, but we can take a break first.” Phii Johan said, turning to ask someone else. Phii Arthit didn’t seem too interested in the camera. Meanwhile, Phii Tonfa kept his head down, continuing to write.

“Just kidding, should we move to another table then, so we don’t bother Dr. Fah?” Phii Hill nodded in agreement, and they moved to sit at another table a couple away.

“Then let’s start, how many minutes do we have left?”

“Fifteen.” Phii Napdao answered.

“Then let’s hurry. What do the comments want us to ask first?”

“Ask if it’s true that you like someone, straightforward.” Emmy read from the comments and turned to ask Phii Hill, who nodded in response. Wow, going straight to the point might be too much, right?

I was watching the live intently on my computer screen when after a while, North came to sit with me. Honestly, I was quite excited about what they would ask and how Phii Hill would respond, hoping it wouldn’t be too direct.    “About the prospective partner, you’re currently getting to know each other, right?”

“I’m just courting him casually.” He said, revealing a faint smile to the camera, which caused the comments to flood in so much that Emmy had to scold them, saying the live might crash.

“Can you tell us why it has to be this person? Before this, you didn’t seem interested in anyone despite many people liking you.”

“…”

“Why does it have to be this person…”

“It’s been this person from the start.”

“…”

“And…it’s never changed to someone else.”

Even though we’re not together! Just watching the live, I felt like I could die. This person’s damage is insane, oh my…North laughed awkwardly before nudging my arm.

“You’re crazy, man, your doctor is something else, I’m embarrassed for you.”

“Yeah, I feel like I’m dying too.” I said and turned back to watch the live stream. Phii Hill’s words just now made Emmy scream so loud, and the comment section was also in an uproar.

: Ohhh, I’m dead, I’m so dead, my heart, I’m so jealous.

   : I’m melting, what kind of doctor is this, I’ve turned into liquid.    “Okay, I’m going to end the interview here because my heart can’t take it anymore. Oh, can’t I? Oh well, they’ve donated thirty thousand, so I can ask one more thing, right?”

“So you’re saying, Doctor, you liked this person from the start?”

“Yes.”

“Ohhh, it hurts, so everyone who likes you loses right from the start.”

“Something like that.”

“Scream! Who is that freshman, you cheater! How did you win the doctor’s heart from the beginning? We lost even before we started, huuuh.” Emmy protested, making me chuckle a bit.

“Do you think that person is watching the live stream?”

“Um…probably.”

“Then do you want to leave a message for that person? You said you haven’t talked today.”

Emmy’s words made Phii Hill turn to look seriously at the camera as if he really wanted to say something to me.

“I miss you.”

Huuuh, I’m dead in every possible way, the look in his eyes was just like when Phii Hill looks at me for real, gentle yet serious.

   “Ohhh, what was that look just now, Doctor, are you trying to melt the whole university? I give up, I admit it, okay, let’s continue. So, Doctor, you came out with this now because that person just started studying here, right? So it’s a first-year junior?”    “Yes.”

“Oh, cradle robber, which faculty are they from? Can you give us a hint?”

“It’s better if you guess. Guess five faculties.”

“Oh, well, if someone guesses my faculty, what should I do?” T^T

“Then, Nursing.”

“No.”

“Business Administration?”

“No.”

“Ohhh, I’ve guessed wrong twice now. What do you all think?” Emmy read the comments, where there were numerous guesses about the faculty, making it hard to choose.

“Engineering?”

“No.”

: Hey, you idiot, how could it be engineering, guess another faculty.

   : Only two left, what should we do, I thought it was Pharmacy.

   “Okay, then Pharmacy?”    “No.”

“Ohhh, can’t guess right at all.” I was watching and getting anxious, hoping my faculty wouldn’t come up.

“Alright, last guess, let’s just go wild.”

“Veterinary Medicine?”

“Yes.”

Hey, how did they manage to guess my faculty on the last try, and when Emmy guessed correctly, she let out another loud scream, and the comments kept flowing.

“Screaming, Veterinary faculty, Veterinary Medicine. You guys are confused. We’ve got an important clue now, the vet faculty isn’t that big, we’ll definitely find out soon. We’ll finally know who has been monopolizing our Dr. Hill.”    Ohhh, for heaven’s sake, mentioning the faculty like this is just awful, T^T

“Just kidding, so when will you reveal the freshman identity?”

“When he’s ready.”

“Wow, what’s he not ready for? If you were to court me, I’d announce it to the whole country, I would be super proud.”

Phii Hill just gave a small smile as a response.

“And you’ve known each other for a long time, right? Was he a junior from your old school?”

“Yes.”

“I heard they’re from the countryside, is that right? Did you both plan to study here?”

“No, it was more of a coincidence.”

“Oh, fate then, really strong. So, what kind of person is he to you, Doctor?”

“Well…he’s cute, a bit whiny and pouts easily. Sometimes he’s stubborn too.”

“He pouts a lot? Isn’t that troublesome?”

“It’s okay, I’ll always find a way to appease him.”

Huuuh, here we go again, T^T, doesn’t he feel embarrassed saying these things? Look at North, he’s curled up like a shrimp.

   “Right. Lucky him, what did he do in his past life to deserve this? If I knew who it was, I’d really squeeze it out of him, wanting to know the secret to making the doctor love and adore like this.”

“Uh, continue, can you tell us where you met, how you started liking him, and how long you’ve liked him?”

“I can’t tell that, but I’ve liked him for five years.”

“Oh.”

“Doctor Hill, the steadfast in love, has never even dated anyone for a year, right? You just like him, not dating, you’ve liked him for five years, all my hopes are dashed, we’re all defeated, I surrender, Doctor, huuuh.”

“Okay, we’re almost out of time. The doctor needs to get back to work and practice for the Star Moon event. Let me ask one more thing. If you were to become his boyfriend, what would you say to him?”

“I’ll take the best care of him. :)”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter  19: Your Photographer

   “…”

“Your face is red.”

I thought I had looked away from the person standing there in time, but I was too late, he caught me. Because Phii Hill spoke up after seeing me tense on the sofa, pretending to take a sip of water and set it down on the table, I knew my face must be red, it was red from the moment I was at the door. The sight just now…

Huuuh, it’s too much, really too much.

It made me think of some old photos of Phii Hill I’ve scrolled through on the page. There was one from some sports event where Phii Hill jumped to dunk a basketball, and his sports shirt lifted, revealing his abs. That photo probably got the most shares on the page. I couldn’t imagine how loud the screams were. And it wasn’t even for the team scoring, it was for Phii Hill’s six-pack. After that, fans started demanding that Doctor Hill show off his six-pack regularly, but Phii Hill never complied with these fan requests.

That was just a glimpse.

Imagine seeing it up close like I did.

Anyone would die, right?

I’m one of those people now, not quite sure if I’m still alive.

Wait…

What are you doing?

I scooted to the edge of the sofa when Phii Hill sat down and slowly moved closer to me.

“You’re too close.” I said, lifting my hands to cover my face, ohhh, should humans have a self-destruct button? I can’t take it, huuuh, the faint scent of shampoo wafted to my nose, it’s too close.

“You were staring, I thought you wanted a closer look.” His deep, playful voice teased. Close, very close, maybe not as close as in those TV drama scenes where they’re about to kiss, but it was very close for me.

They said studying medicine would wear you down. Not true at all, this guy is proof that you can be a doctor and still look amazing. The workload is heavy, he stays up late studying, and doesn’t have time to rest. I wonder where Dr. Hill got this level of devastating handsomeness from.

I scooted back until I was almost falling off the sofa. Phii Hill then stopped teasing and backed off. Oh no, is my heart still in one piece? Seeing me embarrassed made him smile even wider, as if he was delighted by teasing me.    Phii Hill, what else do you want? You’re handsome, rich, smart, fit; oh, all the good qualities in the world have gathered here. And I wanted to ask why he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but it seems he’s waiting for his hair to dry before putting one on.

Phii Hill with his damp hair…

Another heart-stopping moment.

“Should I dry your hair for you?” I offered. Although his hair isn’t very long, in this cold weather, it’s better to dry it quickly. Otherwise, he might catch a cold. Hearing this, Phii Hill turned to look at me with surprise, like he heard something unexpected.

I just want to take care of him in return…sigh.

“Where’s the hairdryer?”

“It’s in the drawer under the vanity table.”

I stood up without waiting for him to get it, plugged in the hairdryer, and turned it on. In fact, I think I’m quite skilled at drying hair, ever since I started living with North. Because this good roommate of mine likes to wash his hair and then go to sleep, can people really sleep with wet hair? My hair isn’t long, so I find it bothersome. So, I end up drying his hair almost every day. Not for any particular reason, just to avoid mold growing on the pillow.

Phii Hill sat still and let me dry his hair with ease. His hair is so soft. The jetblack color indicated he’s never dyed it, of course, Phii Hill isn’t one to fuss over hair color.

And he smells good too, what shampoo does he use?

Ah, done. See, it didn’t take long. I don’t know why North is so lazy about it. I put the hairdryer back in its place.

“Put on a shirt.” I said. It might be his room, but with a guest around, he should put one on, right? It helps to keep the guest’s heart in check. Phii Hill chuckled once after I spoke, but he compliantly went to put on a shirt in the inner room.    It’s not like I’ve never seen Phii Hill without a shirt. I saw him during the school sports day. Back then, we didn’t know each other. Phii Hill was playing several sports, but he seemed to stick mostly to football. His shirt got muddy when he fell because someone tripped him, which drew shouts and jeers from everyone, but then the cheers turned into screams again when the coach told him to change his shirt.

Back then, I didn’t like Phii Hill. I’ll admit he was handsome, very handsome, but I was indifferent. I heard stories from my female friends in the chat group almost every day about how smart, rich, and full of virtues he was, but I didn’t care because someone at that level wouldn’t look at someone like me anyway. Plus, I wasn’t that interested in romance at the time. Though I must admit, that moment when he changed his shirt on the basketball court did make my heart flutter a bit.

As for when I really started to like Phii Hill…

Well, that’s a story for later…

He came out wearing the same gray t-shirt and long pants, his hair slightly messy since he hadn’t styled it, which gave him a naturally handsome look.

And don’t you dare run your hand through your hair like that!!

Ohhh, why does just running his hand through his hair hit my heart this hard!

Phii Hill sat back down on the sofa next to me.

“Oh, there are snacks in the cupboard. Shall I get them for you?” he said as if he just remembered something.

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ll get them myself.” The fridge is right here. No need to bother someone else to get them. I pushed myself up from the sofa to head towards the fridge in the kitchen.

I stood up,

And then I was pulled back…almost falling,    But someone’s arms were already there to catch me.

Was this a trap to make me stand up?

So I ended up sitting on Phii Hill’s lap. When I tried to get up, it was too late because his arms were tightly around me. Before I knew it, Phii Hill shifted, stretching his legs along the length of the sofa, making my back lean against his chest.

“What are you doing!” I protested.

“I want to hug.”

“Couldn’t you have said something first?”

“If I had, would you have let me hug you?”

“No!”

“That’s why I didn’t say anything.” Phii Hill whispered, then leaned down to press his nose lightly against my neck, making me tense up, and he started to nuzzle my neck again like before.

“I missed you so much.” Phii Hill said in a whisper-like tone, but because he was so close, it wasn’t hard to hear.

“I…I see.” I said, asking him to stop messing with my neck. It’s not a joke. It’s really not a joke, sigh, T^T.

“I don’t need a stethoscope to hear your heartbeat, it’s so loud.” He teased, then chuckled a little in an endearing way, “You won’t have a heart attack, will you?”    “And whose fault would it be if I did?!” I couldn’t help but retort. He’s the one causing this and still has the nerve to tease, huh, sigh, spare me.

“Are you blushing? That’s cute.”

“…” I didn’t reply because I thought arguing would just make things worse for me. I had to breathe slowly, or else my blood pressure might spike. Stay calm, Ter.    “I won’t do anything, okay? Your heart is beating so strongly, I’m worried about you.”

“What can I do about it?”

“It’s okay.” His deep, soft voice reassured as he gently patted my head in comfort, and it actually worked. I don’t know why, but it made me relax, “I promise I won’t do anything inappropriate.”    “Then let me go.”

“Just another ten minutes.” He said, then rested his head on my shoulder and loosened his embrace a bit for me to be more comfortable, “This is nice, I wanted to see you, and now I have.”

Yeah, it’s really nice, as I said, I could wait until tomorrow to see him, but I really didn’t want to wait that long. If possible, I wanted to see him right now, I really need to thank Phii Johan.

“So, how have you been?” I asked a question I should have asked from the start.

“I missed you, Ter.” He said, lowering his head which made his voice softer, oh, not answering my question at all.    “No, I mean, how have you been?”

“Well…not that great, but there are some good things too.”

“Good things?” I furrowed my brows in curiosity, wondering what good could have happened while he was taken by Grandpa.

“Yes, very good.”

“What are they?”

“Grandma came back.”

“Back?” I echoed his words in confusion.

“This morning, the doctor said Grandma’s arm started to show signs of movement after nearly a year of being in a coma. Although he’s not fully conscious yet, it seems like he’s close.”

“So everything is okay now…all of it.”

I was slightly stunned by Phii Hill’s words. Phii Johan had mentioned that Grandma was hit by a car, not dead but in a coma. And now she’s starting to regain consciousness.

“That’s great, really great, congratulations.” I said happily, it was wonderful news that someone we were waiting for was finally coming back.

“Jo told you about Grandma being hit by a car, right?”

“…Huh?”

“Since you didn’t ask anything, I assumed you already knew.”

“Ah, uh.” Oops, Phii Johan told me not to let Phii Hill know it was he who told me, but it doesn’t seem like Phii Hill is angry about it. I’m not sure, though. I can’t see his face since I’m being hugged like this.

“The whole story is like this: After the day I promised I would contact you, I wasn’t lying, I didn’t plan to be irresponsible. No one knew about Grandma until Grandpa came to find me at our house in Rayong. When Grandpa found out about us, he got even angrier, and I was dragged here. Every day was filled with longing, guilt, and sadness.”

“…”

“Every day, for a full month, I was confined to my room studying. Grandpa’s goal was for me to be first in medical school, it’s not easy, you know.” “Harsh…” I accidentally said what I was thinking, “You didn’t go out at all?”

“No.”

“So you couldn’t contact me, right?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” His voice filled with guilt made me even more worried, it wasn’t his fault at all.

“No, no. It’s okay, I thought I was really abandoned back then.” I said.

“After I passed the exams, I moved out, but why did you change your number?”

“Oh…well, I had a fight at home. Plus, there was lots of bad news on my feed, so I decided to change my number and took a long break from social media. I didn’t think you’d contact me after another month.”

“Was the fight bad?” Phii Hill asked, clearly concerned.

“It was tough, Dad was really angry, but I talked to Christy the other day, and she said Dad has calmed down.”

“That’s great.” Phii Hill said, tightening his embrace.

I didn’t expect it to turn out this way; between us, it felt like time was out of sync, filled with all sorts of chaos, but it all worked out in the end. Plus, Grandma has come back to her senses.

So, I hope Phii Hill’s family can be warm again. If there’s a chance, I should visit Grandma to thank her for the sweets she sent that day.

“Does that mean we understand each other now?” Phii Hill asked while still holding me.

“…”

“Then, I’ll keep courting you.”

“It’s been more than ten minutes…let go now.”

Ohhhhh, can we stop flirting for an hour, please!! What kind of doctor flirts at every moment we’re together!

And Phii Hill finally let go within the agreed ten minutes. I quickly got up to sit on the smaller sofa, my waist still feeling warm, my back too, but nothing was as hot as my face and ears now, sigh. Once the skin touched the cold air, I remembered how chilly it was today. When he was hugging me, it was so warm I forgot…

Ohhh, what are you thinking, Ter?

“You can walk around and explore if you want, I don’t mind.” Phii Hill suddenly said while he went to search for something in the fridge.

“Why do I need to explore?” I asked.

“Ter, you always like to explore new places, right? I saw you looking around the room earlier.”

He knows, huh. I’m the curious type. Well, if the room owner allows it, I’ll explore as I please. I opened the velvet curtains to a cloudy sky outside; it might rain…with the air this cold, will it rain even more? That might not be good; it could get too cold sometimes. But being this high up, the view of the sky is breathtaking, making me want to show Phoon how beautiful the sky looks from here, even if it’s just clouds.

   “The sky when it’s about to rain has its own charm.” That’s what Phoon once said.

   There’s no sky that isn’t beautiful for someone named Phoon.

   This room is luxurious, clean, and spacious, very livable. North, who loves cleanliness, would be thrilled. The bathroom is…lavish, with a bathtub too. I’m jealous, I’ve only bathed in a tub a few times in my life.

   I walked into the bedroom to peek inside. It’s simple, without much decoration, with a bed that looks soft and inviting, neatly folded blankets, and a tidy study desk, but it’s too bare for me. If it were me, I’d put lots of plushies or something around; this emptiness would keep me awake…out of fear.

   I turned to look at the drawer on top of the dresser…

   An ashtray?

   Does Phii Hill smoke?

   I don’t mind, really. I just didn’t think he smoked.

   “Do you smoke too?” I went outside to ask the person who was just standing there, Phii Hill turned at the sound of my voice.

“Oh…you can just throw that away.”

“Why?” I tilted my head, puzzled. Why would he want to throw it away?

“I forgot to get rid of it.”

“Oh…you’ve quit.”

“Since I knew someone would be staying here with me.”

“…”

“Who does that mean?” I tilted my head, asking curiously again. Who is that someone supposed to be? Me? No way. I’m staying here? I didn’t even realize it.

My question made Phii Hill let out a small chuckle.

“It’s nothing.”

“What do you mean nothing?” I made a pouty face and walked back into the bedroom, placing the ashtray back where it was. I’ll throw it away later. Not sure if others feel the same, but seeing thick books lined up like that makes me uncomfortable, it’s an indescribable feeling. So I left the bookshelf as it was, not touching it at all.

What’s more important is the desk that seemed almost magical. I really wanted to know the secret to being the top of the medical class, but there didn’t seem to be anything special. After satisfying my curiosity by looking around, I went back outside.

I saw Phii Hill sitting on the same sofa, looking at his phone and secretly smiling to himself.

“What are you doing?” I asked before sitting down on the smaller sofa. What’s with the grinning all by himself?

“I won’t tell.”

“Come on, tell me.”

“Move over here.” Phii Hill said. Driven by curiosity, I had to scoot over and sit next to him. Then Phii Hill held up his phone screen for me to see.

“…”

This is my message, isn’t it!

Even though we aren’t friends on Facebook, we can still send messages, right? During those two days when Phii Hill was gone, I tried to add him as a friend, but he didn’t accept. So, I sent messages instead.

And out of concern, mixed with a little bit of feeling slighted, I ended up…

Easter Panupong: Hey, accept my friend request.

   Easter Panupong: Why can’t I reach you by phone?

   Easter Panupong: Are you okay? I can’t get through to Phii Jo either.

   Easter Panupong: At least you should let someone know something.

   Easter Panupong: Do you know that Phii Jo, Phii Arthit, they’re worried?

   Easter Panupong: Me too.

   Easter Panupong: It’s okay to be worried.

   Easter Panupong: I’m going to get mad if you don’t reply within two hours.    Easter Panupong: Joking, I’m mad now, don’t even think about making up with me.

   Easter Panupong: Here, I’ve called so much my fingers are cramping.

   Easter Panupong: Are you not there? When are you coming back?

   Easter Panupong: Are you still alive?

   Easter Panupong: Phii Jo said he went to your condo and couldn’t find you, did you sneak off on a trip?

   Easter Panupong: If you did sneak off, I won’t forgive you.

   Easter Panupong: When you get back, I’ll make you spill everything, just watch.

   Easter Panupong: And I’ll force you to buy me sweets.

   Easter Panupong: What did Grandpa say?

   Easter Panupong: Next time, take me to meet Grandpa, okay?

   And many more messages that I’m too embarrassed to read further, ohhhh. At that time, I was just worried, you know, T^T, so I went a bit crazy with my messages. Sigh, looking back at them now, I feel so embarrassed for some reason.

Aha! No wonder he was grinning so much.

“Oh, don’t read that!” I said, trying to snatch the phone, but I was too late. If I had gotten it, I would’ve deleted all the messages, huh.

“I’ve accepted the friend request.” Phii Hill said, chuckling in an endearing way, was he doing this on purpose to tease me?!

“What are you accepting now, I’ll unfriend you right away, just watch.” I said, making a grumpy face.

“You were the one who told me to accept it at first.” He said in that annoyingly sweet voice!

“That was then, this is now.”

“Why’s that, hmm?” Phii Hill asked before pulling me into another hug, whispering softly, “At first, you were worried, and now you’re not worried anymore?”

!

Heyyy!!

This is what’s really annoying, and why am I being hugged again!

Didn’t you say you needed ten minutes just a moment ago!

“You said ten minutes, you’re cheating!” I protested while trying to pry his arms off, but as usual, it didn’t work.

“I just felt like hugging, seeing how you missed me.”

“Wh…what miss! Don’t make things up!” I said, feeling the heat rise to my face and ears. What’s with all this teasing?

“You sent so many messages, and what about squeezing out stories for me to tell?”

“I…I don’t know! What else is there to tell?”

“Still haven’t squeezed it out of you yet. I won’t tell.”

“…” I went quiet, not responding. What does he want me to squeeze out? Back then, I just typed without thinking much, huh, now Phii Hill seems to be getting too bold.

“Hmm, what do you say?” he asked, tightening his embrace and whispering even closer to my ear, making my heart beat even faster! T^T, this is definitely molestation.

“I have nothing to say, just let go.”

“And if I say I am going to treat you to snacks then?” his deep, soft voice spoke again. Even though my heart was already in disarray. No mercy at all!

Sighhhhhh. I didn’t mean to force anything, Y^Y.

“Huh. If you don’t let go, I’ll make you spend all your money buying me things!” My words made the person behind me chuckle a bit.

“Then I could support your spending habits for another ten years.” Phii Hill said.    “Are you planning to be with me for only another ten years?”    Arghhhhh!!

Does the medical faculty teach flirting too? How can he be so good at it?!    I didn’t know what to argue back with because whatever I said, he’d flirt back until my heart nearly stopped!! So I could only sit there quietly, looking down, while Phii Hill still wouldn’t let go of his embrace. I don’t know why he likes to hug me so much.

Rrrrrrrr

My phone rang, and when the other person realized there was an incoming call, he finally loosened his hug a little so I could pick up my phone.

It was North calling…

I answered.

“What’s up, North?”

(Ter. Where are you?)

   “Uh…” I was embarrassed to say I was with him somehow, “Why?”

(Are you coming back to the dorm today?)

   “Yeah, I’ll be back.”

(Oh, good, I was worried you wouldn’t come back, I can’t stay alone, you know.)

   “I told you not to watch horror movies, why watch if you’re gonna be scared?”    (But it’s fun, come back soon, I’m freaked out, Fah’s even creepier in the dark.)

   “Okay, okay.”

And then I hung up.

“Was that your roommate?” Phii Hill asked immediately after I ended the call.

“Uh, yeah.”

“How is it living together, is it okay?”

“Yeah, it’s manageable.”

“And how about the room condition?” He must be asking about the living conditions, right? Honestly, it’s not bad, but I feel it’s bad when I come to his room. His room is so spacious and airy, but mine is cramped and doesn’t get much air flow because it’s in the middle of the building.

“It’s not bad, I can live in it, it’s comfortable.” I said, thinking that it’s only been less than a month, so my stuff isn’t that much, but after half a year, both my books and North’s things would probably overflow the room. We’ll see about that later.

“After a while, the room might get full, you know.” Phii Hill said, “Interested in moving in together?”

“Huh, what? Move in?” I raised my eyebrows in confusion, “With you?”    “Yes.”

“Are you crazy? No way.” I quickly refused. That’s insane, how could I do that?

“Why not?”

Would it be strange to say I’m too scared to live with him?

   “I don’t have money to pay for the room.” I came up with another excuse, which was true, there were dozens of reasons I couldn’t move in, but the main one was I’m too scared to live there.

“It’s okay, I’ve already bought it.”

“Live for free?”

“Yes.”

“No way, that’s too much.” Even though living for free would be great for a broke student like me, it’s just not right, I feel bad about it.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Everyone wants to take care of the one they love the best, right?”    One heart attack down…

   Ohhhhh, huuuuuu, he really knows how to hit every mark, poor Ter is going to die!!

   “No…no way, how can I leave North behind, he can’t live alone.” I said, finding a reason to tell him. I could sense that even with my refusal, if my reasons weren’t strong enough, my belongings would definitely disappear from my room by tomorrow.

And he’s going to move here.

Why are you so dictatorial?! T^T

“Is it Nong North?” Phii Hill repeated the question, “I’ll take care of it myself.” He said in his usual nonchalant tone.

“Take care of what? Wait, what are you going to do to North? Hey, if you really make him angry…” I quickly said, worried that Phii Hill’s “take care of” might mean something drastic like kidnapping or worse, oh no, don’t do anything to North, T^T.

“I won’t do anything bad, do I seem that cruel?”    Well, yeah!

“Soon, Nong North will probably have to move somewhere else anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

“Hmm?” Phii Hill fell silent as if he was thinking for a moment, “Just a guess.”    A guess? Like, just assuming? You can assume that North has to move? I was still puzzled by his words, but once I realized, I hurried to tell him to let me go already; it had been too long. And Phii Hill finally complied, probably because he saw I was getting tired. So, I scooted away a bit and took another bite of the desert. When you’re feeling down, sweets are the best, right?

   But out of the corner of my eye, I felt like I was being secretly photographed.    “Don’t take photos!” I immediately covered my face with my hands, what are you playing at!! Why take a picture when I’m eating, why do people always want to capture my embarrassing moments? It’s been like this since Foam and Phoon!

“It’s cute.” Phii Hill showed me a photo of me with my cheeks puffed out while chewing, ugh, where’s the cuteness in that, it’s unbearable to look at, and he still dares to laugh about it!

“Delete it.” I snatched his phone, which Phii Hill let me do without resistance, and quickly deleted the photo.

He still has that calm face, just wait, I’ll get my revenge.

I grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in the mouth of the person sitting next to me, then took a photo back. Phii Hill didn’t protest.

Instead of getting a candid shot…

I ended up with a picture that looks incredibly good!!

The picture of Phii Hill was very clear, focusing only on his handsome face holding a cookie, as if inviting someone to eat snacks together. I was both annoyed and jealous that I didn’t take a photo like that. So I handed the phone back to him resignedly.

But I still get heart palpitations when I take his photo.

Sighhhhh, good thing my hands weren’t shaking too much earlier. Otherwise, I would’ve been caught for sure! T^T, I need to take a break for an hour this time.

Ever since he hugged me, I moved to sit on the smaller sofa.

“You took a great photo, can I post it?” Phii Hill asked. I nodded in response without much thought. It’s his photo, why wouldn’t he be able to post it, especially since I’m not even in the picture, come on, unlike last time when he didn’t ask when my photo got included.

Soon after Phii Hill posted the picture, I checked to see how people were reacting to the photo I took.

Hill Ratchakit has added a new photo – 5 minutes ago

   Not smiling at the camera, but smiling at the photographer:)    Ohhhhh!! I’m going to die from this caption, huuuuh, smiling at the photographer, what’s that supposed to mean!! I sneakily looked at the caption’s author who was now comfortably watching TV. He has no mercy on my heart at all, T^T

   And before long, the page shared this photo too, very prompt indeed.

Cute Boy & Girl – MU has shared Hill Ratchakit’s photo

   Wondering if the person who took this photo is still alive?

   To respond…I don’t even know if I’m alive myself anymore, …

   As I scrolled through the comments on the page:

: Ohhh, smiling at the photographer, come on, I’ve never seen him smile like this before.

   : Kill me now, the photo was taken at the condo too, don’t tell me they’re living together, SCREAMING!!!

   : How sweet can this get? Someone answer me why hasn’t the page interviewed him yet, I’ve donated thousands already!

   I’m going to faint, like a hundred times, I’ve been dead since the watch incident.

   : Doctor, enough already, my heart can’t take it, waiii //waving a white flag and smiling while playing a song of congratulations

   : I’ll donate another two thousand, can you interview the doctor tomorrow, I’m sooo curious!

   : But the more I see them close, the more I can’t handle it, huuu, he’s my doctor, waiii

   : Can I be a mistress, I’ll take even a piece of his heart //gets slapped    : But isn’t he said to be in a relationship? There’s a chance, super biased towards myself, LOL

   : Living in the same condo, so jealous, why are you so fortunate? Please share what kind of merit you did, #I surrender I want a doctor like Hill as my husband

   : Super jealous, I want to be the photographer too

   And many more comments that I’m getting too lazy to read through, there are both good and bad comments, the bad ones criticizing and judging. I’ve been quite concerned about Phii Hill’s fans, not to mention the fans of the seniors who also like him.

   But it seems Phii Hill himself doesn’t care about that at all.

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 18: I’m Here

   Two days have passed…

   I stood dazed on the balcony, gazing at the sky and the forest landscape. The distant mountain peaks almost touched the sky, feeling the cool breeze against my face. I liked the saying, “At least we’re still under the same sky.” It means that no matter how far apart we are, just by looking up, we can still see the same sky, suggesting that we might circle back to meet each other again.

Just like meeting him, when I never thought I would see him again.

And now he’s disappeared again…

I clasped my hands together, thinking of the warmth from someone who always made my heart feel warm, no matter how long it’s been. His gentle smile and serious eyes always healed me, even when he himself was just as wounded.    That day when Phii Hill was called back, we had to leave the cafe. Phii Hill insisted on seeing me back to my dormitory first, but they didn’t let him drive because they feared he might run away, so they had us sit in the back while someone else drove.

I didn’t dare ask anything to the person sitting next to me then, and he didn’t speak either, as if there was an unspoken warning not to say anything. The driver kept glancing at us through the rearview mirror almost all the time, but he said nothing when Phii Hill’s hand reached out to gently squeeze mine in comfort, the way he always did, including that gentle smile…which always had an effect on my heart.

The car came to a complete stop in front of the dormitory. Phii Hill gently kissed my hand, promising to return. I could tell his eyes weren’t lying.

But then, I couldn’t contact him at all…

I messaged Phii Johan on social media to ask for Phii Hill’s number, but calls wouldn’t go through. Phii Johan checked at his condo, but he wasn’t there, and when he asked the security guard, they said Phii Hill had a private parking spot, which had been empty for days.

It was as if that day took everything away, leaving a heavy heart. He wouldn’t have gone somewhere else, right?

“Why are you standing out there like a lost soul, you’ll catch a cold.” North’s voice boomed from inside the room, making me startle a little. I was deeply lost in thought by myself, so I just made a face at him, “Why’s it suddenly so cold? Is it because we’re near the mountain?”

“Maybe, there are so many people around here, I don’t know why.”

“My house isn’t on a mountain.” I thought it might be best to stop thinking about this for a while. For the past two days, I’ve been trying to call, trying to think of what to do, but to no avail. I agree with what Phii Johan said, that Phii Hill is at his grandfather’s house and might have his phone confiscated. That’s crazy…is he a prisoner or what?

And nobody knows where Grandpa’s house is. At first, I wanted to go with him, but…uh, what do you call them, bodyguards? Grandpa’s bodyguards strictly forbade it. They even added pressure by driving me back, as if to warn that if I said anything, they would tell Grandpa, and things could get worse. So, I thought it was better to stay silent.

Since I can’t call him and can’t go looking for him, how are we supposed to communicate…The more I think about it, the more my head hurts. Should I send a letter? But I don’t know where he is, and who would know Grandpa’s address? Even close friends like Phii Johan, Phii Tonfa, and Phii Arthit don’t know. Could sending smoke signals work, maybe?

“Ter…close the window, I’m cold.” I had to go back inside the room and close the window properly. I thought the weather was nice, with a gentle breeze and the afternoon sun not too strong.

“What are you doing?” I asked North, who seemed busy earlier. He was rearranging things even though everything was already neat, right?

“Cleaning the room.”

“It’s already clean.”

“It can be cleaner.”

Sigh, whatever makes him comfortable then. North is such a housemaid, I must say. If he wears his cleaning gloves and an apron, it’d be perfect. North is very diligent…often too diligent for me, whenever I’m about to clean, he’s always one step ahead. Plus, he has a part-time job, which is quite admirable.

“Aren’t you going to work at the club?” North asked.

“I’ve already done the photoshoot. The boss said the job is done, so I don’t need to go back.” I said with a bit of disappointment. Although I didn’t get to shoot the last shot, Phii Pim said it was fine and didn’t want to bother me anymore, so she asked me to send the photos, and my wages would be discussed with the chairman later. Speaking of which, the chairman has disappeared, causing delays at the club.    Speaking of Phii Pim, it reminds me of the other day…Phii Bua, Phii Pim, and Phii Dew, these three ganged up to tease me, saying they knew from the start that I was the one who was the watch owner in Phii Hill’s post. They went out for Japanese food with me, how could they not know? But it was just to tease me, they said my red face was cute or something, damn it…remember that, you guys who find joy in others’ misery, T^T

As for the sophomore medical student interview for the Cute Boy page, it had to be postponed because no one from the Star Moon department could contact Phii Hill either. Phii Meili messaged me asking about it. Of course, my answer was that I had no idea where Phii Hill had gone. Phii Meili then said it was okay, because he’d have to come back when the term starts.    And tomorrow is the first day of the term…

I’m not ready for school at all…sigh, T^T

“You don’t look okay.” North commented.

“Yeah, I’m really not okay.”

“No news from the med student?”

“Yeah, he’s gone. It’s been two days.” I furrowed my brows so much they almost knotted, which made North secretly chuckle. What’s so funny, huh? I see you!

“Just two days, I’ve been away from my boyfriend for months.”

“Ha!?” He just said ‘boyfriend’, right? “Do you have a boyfriend too? Why didn’t

I know about it?”

“I didn’t tell you, didn’t I? Plus, we’re not living together; he studies at a different university.”

“Then you must be quite lonely.” I commented.

“Yeah, lonely to the point where he’s found someone else now.” North said with a sigh, then forcefully threw his cleaning gloves into the trash, “Today he even updated his status with his new boyfriend, sigh.”

“Ahhh. So that’s why you’ve been all over the place since this morning, huh?”    “Yeah, and it’s not even worth anything. I thought I’d moved on, you know, but seeing him with someone new feels like someone’s hammering a nail that’s already there, if you can imagine that. When he broke up with me, it was like he hammered a nail into my heart, and now that he has a new boyfriend, it feels like he’s hammering that nail again.”

“I understand, but you look dazed, you’re barely making sense. Take a break.” I suggested.

“Well, since things are like this, shall we drink?”

“Drink?”

“I mean, let’s drink alcohol. How about it? You’ve been stressed out lately too.”

“But classes start tomorrow, man.” I protested. Drinking on the night before the first day of university wasn’t a good idea, and I hadn’t drunk in a while because I learned that when I get drunk, everything goes to hell.

“Yeah, that’s a bummer. How about doing it on Saturday?”

“But I’m not going.”

“Okay, okay, no problem. If anything, come collect my body, in case I pass out at the bar. I don’t want to sleep with my head on the sidewalk like last time.”    “Sigh, you’re going to make me worry again. Just drink moderately, or you might end up in big trouble.” I warned him. Picking up his body isn’t much of an issue, but I’m worried about what trouble he might get into. Alcohol is the root of all chaos, believe me.

North just shrugged, unconcerned.

“But tomorrow is the start of term, he’ll have classes too, so you’ll probably see him soon. No need to look like a sad puppy anymore.”

“Who’s looking like a sad puppy, not me.”

“You, definitely, like you’ve been abandoned by your owner.”

“You’re one to talk, North.” And so our pointless argument began again, until we both realized it was a waste of energy, and we stopped there.

I slumped into the chair, doing something while lost in thought. If Grandpa really wants Phii Hill to be a doctor and even wants him to be the top of his class, it means Grandpa must care a lot about Phii Hill’s education. He probably wouldn’t let Phii Hill miss classes.

I’ll see him tomorrow…

But I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.

I want to see him now…

It’s kind of funny when I think about it. At first, I was trying so hard to avoid Phii Hill, almost to the point of exhaustion, but now that he’s gone, I find myself wanting to see him. But it’s different now because we’ve started to understand each other. Maybe…we do understand each other, but we haven’t had a chance to clear things up completely before Grandpa took Phii Hill away again.

How should I deal with Grandpa’s issues? I guess I’ll have to muster up the courage to talk to him once. Please give me the courage when the time comes, T^T Finally, unable to stand my own stickiness, even though it wasn’t hot, the cool air made me feel damp somehow, so I decided to take a shower to feel refreshed. And why does North have to interrupt my shower like this?

Knock knock knock    “Ter”

“What! I’m almost done.” I shouted while washing my face, damn it, the soap got into my eyes.

“Better hurry, someone’s here to see you.”

“Who is it?”

“Don’t know.” The voice on the other side whispered as if afraid the person they just mentioned would hear. Who could it be? Foam or Phoon? It can’t be them, North knows those two.

“Who came?” I asked after changing clothes and stepping out of the bathroom to see only North alone. There was no one else around.

“They’re waiting outside, they wouldn’t come in when I invited them.” I nodded to show I understood. I hung up my towel and went outside to meet the person waiting. I saw the tall figure of someone leaning against the wall in front of the room. He had one hand covering his mouth, but I could see he was smiling.

Yes…his eyes were smiling with evident joy.

“Phii Johan.” I called out. Phii Johan turned towards my voice, “What are you smiling about?” Instead of asking what he wanted first, I asked about his smile.

Damn, my curiosity is really something.

“Nothing.” Phii Johan said as he straightened up from the wall, “Just saw something good lately.”

“Oh…okay.” I wanted to ask what those good things were, but I’ll leave it for now. “So, is there something you need? You came all the way here. By the way, how did you know my room number?”

“Well, I was sent here. They said if I came, I’d meet someone. Lucky me.” Phii Johan muttered the last part as if he didn’t intend for me to hear it, “Come on, let’s go.”

“Huh?” I looked confused. He hadn’t even told me why he was here, and what did he mean by ‘let’s go’? But Phii Johan didn’t respond and just started walking away.

“Uh, wait a moment, please.” I called out, “North, could you watch my room? I’m going outside for a bit.” I told North who was in the room, and he looked just as confused.

“Ha, where are we going?”

“I don’t know.” I said, and then rushed to put on my shoes to follow Phii Johan. Going out in just a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops should be fine, right? He was in a hurry. I didn’t have time to change. T^T

“So, where are we going?” I asked when I caught up with Phii Johan.

“Just a while ago, I got a call out of the blue.”

“From the number I’ve been trying to call repeatedly without any answer, and suddenly it calls and works just fine. It’s really annoying.”

It didn’t take me long to process what he said, and my heart started pounding even though I hadn’t seen him yet. Ohhh, that’s great, it’s great that he’s back, I hope nothing’s wrong.

“He sounded tired. He must have gone through a lot these past couple of days. Instead of explaining anything, not at all. The first thing he said was so annoying.”    “Annoying, you say?” I repeated his words.

“He said.”

“Jo…I want to see him.”    Seriously…

   My heart fluttered…

   Thinking that I’m about to meet Phii Hill, in his room…

   Let’s go to his room, come on!!

   And I don’t even know what condition he’ll be in, if he was beaten or not, or if he was tortured. Is this really his grandfather or some Yakuza?

   And most importantly, I wasn’t sure if I would survive the ride to Phii Hill’s condo. Phii Johan drives scarier than I ever thought, especially when you’re in the car with him. I prayed that this seatbelt would save my life and that the airbags would work normally.

   The luxury car made a sharp turn into the condo’s underground parking, almost making me lose my grip. Phew, finally here…

   Thank you to whatever got us here safely.

   Amen…

   I let out a sigh of relief as the luxury car came to a complete stop in the underground parking of the tall condo building. Let me get out of here quickly, I need to breathe some fresh air. I looked around the parking area, which was spacious and packed with cars. Lucky for Phii Johan, he had a reserved spot.

   “It’s good I bought a parking space.” Phii Johan said as he got out and locked the car.

“You bought it?”

“Yeah, for when I come to see Hill. I hate looking for parking, so I just bought one. Even though I don’t visit much anymore.”

Wow, who buys a parking spot in a friend’s condo just because they hate looking for parking? I admire his wealth.

“He’s really back.” Phii Johan pointed to another luxury car parked in the VIP section.

Phii Hill’s car…

It’s nice to see that the parking spot isn’t empty anymore.

I couldn’t help but smile slightly, which made Phii Johan look at me with a bit of annoyance. Am I getting on someone’s nerves again? He was the one smiling earlier at my place, and I didn’t say anything about that.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked as we walked towards the elevator.

“What?”

“About that good thing you mentioned earlier.”

“Oh.” Phii Johan went silent as if he was pondering something.    “I won’t tell.”

…Then why bother thinking about it?

“Hey, young man, here to visit your friend?” One of the security guards greeted us as we were heading inside.

“Yes.”

“He just got back a little while ago, looked like a zombie, just finished exams or what?”

“The semester hasn’t started yet, uncle. It starts tomorrow.”

“Oh, is that so? Good luck, young man.”

“Goodbye.” Phii Johan and I waved to the security guard before we had to take the elevator up.

“Why did the security uncle ask if we finished our exams?” I asked Phii Johan. Now, it was just the two of us in the elevator. I didn’t know why it felt so quiet, even though this condo is quite large. Maybe it’s because of the cold weather, so everyone would rather stay wrapped up in their warm blankets.

“Well, the guys, during exam season, they’re like this. Even Hill gets all ragged.”    “Really? I’ve never seen that.” I really haven’t seen it. Maybe because his university studies are much more intense than high school. In high school, he seemed so laid back, too laid back, to the point where he still had time to tutor me even when exams were near.

“You’d want to see it, though. When he doesn’t get enough sleep, he gets really irritable.”

I just smiled at him, imagining what it would be like during our medical exams. From what I’ve heard, it’s not an ordinary experience. I’d like to see what Phii Hill looks like as a zombie.

The elevator stopped right on time, on the 9th floor, huh? We walked along the corridor until we reached the end. When I peeked outside, the view was pretty good, better than from my own dorm, probably because it’s higher up and has a better angle.

“This is the room. Knock on it.” Phii Johan told me as we stopped in front of the room at the end of the hallway. Ohhh, am I really going to see him? How should I look, and what should I say first? Hello, how are you, or how have you been? What should I do, ohhh, and if he’s covered in blood from injuries, I’d need to tend to his wounds, right?

Ohhh, don’t overthink it, Ter, just knock!

Knock knock knock.

Silence…

I turned to look at Phii Johan, wondering why there was no response from inside.

And just as I was about to ask Phii Johan,

“Hey!!” I exclaimed in surprise when suddenly there was a force pulling from inside the door, which had been ajar since who knows when, and before I knew it, I was pulled into a tight embrace.

Phii Hill!!?

   The next thing I knew, I was already being held by the taller guy. I hadn’t even had a chance to look up at his face before a firm hand pulled me close to a solid chest, leaving me barely able to move.

   Huuuuuh, let me go, you can’t just do this out of nowhere! T^T

   Thump!

   Thump!

   And then…uh…don’t tell me, he’s not wearing a shirt!!!

   Heyyyyy!!!!

   I could feel the small droplets of water on his skin, indicating he had just showered. Ohhh, I can’t take it anymore, help me, Phii Johan, help me, my heart can’t handle this!!

   “Too much, too much.” Phii Johan’s elongated voice made Phii Hill’s grip on me loosen slightly, though he didn’t let go, “The kid’s heart might give out.”    It might be embarrassing…but Phii Johan is right, T^T. I might die of a heart attack.

Phii Hill didn’t say anything, just moved me a bit to look at him more clearly. It was still the same Phii Hill, just looking more tired and worn out than usual, his hair slightly slicked back from being wet. As for everything else…    Before I could think further, his handsome face leaned down, pressing his prominent nose gently against my neck, his warm breath coming in and out steadily like someone exhausted seeking comfort, but the difference was that Phii Hill was intentionally rubbing his nose along my neck.

Wait a minute, do people hug like this?

“You smell good.” Phii Hill said as he took a deep breath. I was at a loss, letting my heart race wildly, then when I came to my senses, I gently pushed Phii Hill away with my trembling hands, because I heard Phii Johan coughing several times, but it seemed like Phii Hill wasn’t very willing to let go.    “Show some consideration, hello, Hill, can you see me?”

“Jo.” Phii Hill turned to look at the one calling, releasing me from his embrace, “Thanks.” His words of thanks made Phii Hill look a bit more pleased.

“Hmm. No problem. You’re okay now, right? Fah and Arthit were worried about you.”

“I’m okay. I’ll tell them myself.” Phii Hill said, finally letting go of my arm but still holding my hand.

He won’t let go, huh? Huuuuh, T^T

“I should’ve taken a picture. I didn’t think you’d dare to do something like this.

Look, the kid’s about to explode.” Phii Johan pointed at me, making Phii Hill turn to observe. I was very aware that my face must be very red because it was burning hot now. Phii Hill smiled indulgently at me. I couldn’t help but glare back at him.

My neck still feels warm…

“Did you see him?” Phii Hill asked.

“Saw him.” Phii Johan replied, revealing a sly smile. Oh, I believe this is part of

Phii Johan’s charm, “Saw him fully.”

“How was it?”

“Well…probably fine.” Phii Johan shrugged, then feigned disinterest, “I’ve got things to do, so I’ll go first. Bye.”

“Bye.” Phii Hill responded.

“Wait, Phii Jo, you’re leaving already?” No way, you can’t leave me here with Phii Hill. Look, even just now…sigh. I’m definitely not going to survive this, don’t leave me here, brother, T^T, “And how am I supposed to get back?”

“You can stay over if you want.” Phii Hill suddenly interjected.

“No…no way.” Absolutely not. It’s like choosing between dying by suicide or having a heart attack from him not wearing a shirt!

“Alright then, I’m off.” Phii Johan said, waving goodbye one last time before walking away. How did it end up like this?

“Come in first.” Phii Hill said, leaving me no choice but to step into his room. Phii Hill slowly let go of my hand and picked up a small towel to lightly dry his hair, “You can sit on the sofa, I’ll get you some water.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and sat down on the large sofa with ease. This room is incredibly spacious, like four or five of my rooms combined. As you enter, you see the sofa and TV, and there’s a kitchen counter over there. I can’t really see the inside from here, but it’s beautifully decorated and very tidy.

Waai

It’s my first time here, so I couldn’t help but look around. The shoe rack over there is full of shoes – student shoes, sports shoes, canvas shoes, and the most daunting is the enormous bookshelf that could make one faint just looking at it. Now I understand why they say he turns into a zombie during exam season.

“Here’s your water.” Phii Hill called out. I, who had been distractedly looking around, turned towards the sound. Since I was sitting and Phii Hill was standing, I ended up seeing something I had initially decided not to look at.

His skin is so fair…and those muscles, even though we’re both guys, there’s a vast difference. His slightly wet hair and well-maintained physique showed how well Phii Hill takes care of himself. It’s good that he’s still wearing long pants.

Otherwise, I might have just fainted.

   But I must say…he’s in really good shape.

   And not to mention,

   Six pack

   What kind of doctor has a six-pack?

   Where do they find the time to work out? 

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 17: It’s Gonna Be Alright

   “…”

Thank you too.

I’m not sure if it was out of nervousness or what, but I couldn’t bring myself to say “thank you” back, and I wasn’t even sure what I was thanking him for. Thanking him for still thinking of me and caring, for not intentionally leaving me, or for never changing?

Thank you for everything, I guess.

We locked eyes for a moment before I realized and quickly looked down at the dessert menu to hide my flushed face, flipping through the pages without actually seeing the pictures or names of the items. It was just to cover up my embarrassment.

Phii Hill didn’t say anything, but it seemed like he could sense what I wanted to express…I’m not sure. That’s what I felt. I liked this warm feeling in my heart right now, as if there was no need for further words.

“Your face is red.” His soft voice came gently while he still had his chin resting on his hand, not looking away from me…I’ve noticed that as long as I’m within his sight, Phii Hill never lets his gaze wander, as if he’s afraid I might disappear.    And those sharp eyes of his…they always make me feel so awkward, staring like that…who could stay calm under such scrutiny?

“Then stop looking.” I said, letting out a quiet sigh. He shouldn’t tease me about having a red face when he’s the one causing it!

“No.” He replied with a cheerful expression, turning back into the mischievous Phii Hill I knew. I don’t know if it’s because his mood changes quickly or if he’s just good at hiding his emotions.

“Then I’ll charge you for looking.” I said playfully. Phii Hill raised his eyebrows slightly and then burst into a chuckle.

“How much?” Phii Hill asked with a cunning smile, his eyes sparkling as if he was genuinely ready to pay.

“A hundred per look.”

“Hmm…” He went silent for a moment, pondering before asking, “Is there a flat rate? Like paying once to look for the whole month?”

“…” I furrowed my brows at him, knowing I was joking, but Phii Hill responded as if he was half-serious, as if he would pay if I really charged, “That’s expensive.”

“Yes.” Phii Hill said, “If I pay in cash, do I get any special promotions?”    “Promotions?” I raised my eyebrows in question.

“Like…” Phii Hill said while leaning his handsome face closer. His charming smile seemed to be hiding something, his sharp eyes twinkling, causing me to instinctively move back, even though he hadn’t come that close, “…I could borrow you to cuddle at home for two or three days.”

“!!!” I had to glare at him, Oh my god, since when did he start flirting like this!! I made a face to show I wasn’t playing along anymore, which made the tall figure give an affectionate smile before looking back at the menu.

   Sigh. It’s really not good for my heart…That moment he leaned in and smiled just now, anyone would be dead for sure, and honestly…me too, it felt like I died once already.

   “May I take your order, please?” a sweet, clear voice from the waitress at our table asked. I hesitated for a while before ordering just a few things, while Phii Hill ordered nothing…still not fond of sweets, I guess.

But he always brings me out to eat them.

“Um…excuse me, can I…can I have your number, customer?” the young waitress asked nervously after noting down our order. Phii Hill finally looked away from me to glance at the asker, “Ah…my friend wants it.” The waitress smiled awkwardly, pointing to another female staff member standing at the counter, who waved her hand dismissively, looking more embarrassed than anything.    Phii Hill didn’t respond right away, turned back to me with a half-smile as if asking for my opinion. I could only frown at him, just answer her quickly, don’t leave it to me like that!!

“…” I forced a dry smile when the waitress looked at me, why isn’t Phii Hill saying anything, T^T. She looked back and forth between us, then covered her mouth, her face turning very red.

“Sorry.” she said before quickly returning to the counter with a hurried demeanor, “They’re dating, you guys. They’re dating!” And then the other staff members quietly squealed, but since the café was empty, we heard it clearly. They seemed really excited.

“Really! So cute, one is handsome, the other is adorable, oh my, I’m so thrilled.”

“He’s really handsome, the kind that should be a national treasure, ahh…”

“Shh, keep it down, he’s taken, you know.”    Wait…that’s not true at all!!

   I wanted to shout a correction so badly, but I couldn’t. Phii Hill just chuckled at my reaction, what’s so funny!?    “Isn’t it true?”

“No.” I said with a slight pout. We’re not dating, when did that happen!

“So, when will it be true then?”

“Well…” I pondered for a moment while picking up my glass of water to drink, then spoke without realizing, “Try to win me over first.”

After I finished speaking, he seemed very pleased, smiling so broadly that his eyes crinkled up. I doubt there’s any photo where Phii Hill smiles this widely; usually, it’s just a slight, charming smile, which is why he’s called ‘the smile thief’ by everyone.

   But believe me,

   The smile on Phii Hill’s face right now…it’s way more heart-stealing.

   Would it be weird to say I don’t want anyone else to see this smile?

   Well, that’s how I feel…I don’t want others to see it, but at the same time, I’m too shy to look at it for too long. Damn, Ter.

   “Oh, and what about the thing you wanted to ask?” Phii Hill spoke up when there was a brief silence between us…I forgot, how could I forget? It’s supposed to be me, the one asking, who should remember.

I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.

“About when you disappeared…can you tell me about it?” I asked softly, worried it might touch on family matters, but Phii Hill didn’t seem too surprised.

“I can tell you, but I’m not sure where to start.” Phii Hill’s face briefly showed concern before relaxing back to normal, probably figuring out where to begin.

“Um, do you remember the first time we met your grandfather?”

“I remember…” I recalled it, that day was one I consider among the worst of my life.

“How much do you want?” I stood there confused by what was happening. I was on my way back home, with a few people around, all of them looking on with interest. A sleek, black European car, the likes of which I’d never seen in my life, had stopped after honking loudly, making me stop abruptly out of confusion.

   A tall, elderly man, about 170 cm tall, wearing a gray coat. His gray hair was styled neatly, giving off an air of dignity, his voice cold and authoritative. He got out of the car and stood in front of me, saying something I didn’t understand.    “Would a hundred thousand be enough?” I furrowed my brows in confusion, why would an old man like this stop his car in front of a student on his way home to ask if I wanted a hundred thousand baht?

   “Excuse me, what is this about?” I asked, but his stern gaze made me instinctively step back.

   “You’re the one dating Hill, right?”

   “Huh? …No, I’m not.” I said truthfully, indeed, I…uh, like…Phii Hill, but we’re not dating at all.

   “Lies!” his voice boomed, making me jump. Did I say something wrong?

   “Stop messing with my grandson.”

   “Excuse me?” If I understood correctly, does Phii Hill’s grandfather hate me?

And why would that be? Right now, my heart is both scared and confused. “Nobody is allowed to mess with my grandson…”

   “Especially you. I hate those who seek personal gain. Tell me, how much do you want, in exchange for leaving my grandson’s life alone?!” It seemed like my silence only made grandfather angrier; he started raising his voice until I was afraid and wanted to run away as far as possible right then.

   “No, sir. I don’t want anything.” I tried to speak without my voice trembling, also trying to suppress my inner feelings. Soon after, two men in black suits got out of the car.

   “Sir, please calm down.” Even though someone tried to intervene, the grandfather didn’t seem to calm down at all. He then ordered one of them to fetch a bag from the car. The grandfather took the bag and with his left hand, he rummaged inside before violently throwing a thick wad of gray banknotes at me, causing them to scatter everywhere.

   “!!!” I instinctively closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I saw many thousand-baht notes scattered all over the floor. I looked at them in shock and felt a sharp pain in my temple.    What on earth are you doing?!

   I wanted to retort angrily, but I had to hold back…I didn’t understand what this was about, but the feeling of being insulted was even stronger. How could I be seen as someone exploiting Phii Hill in his grandfather’s eyes?

   “!!” And before I could say anything, I was startled again when my wrist was pulled back and caught by someone’s arm without me even noticing.

   Phii Hill…!?

   I looked up at the tall figure. Phii Hill was glaring back at his own grandfather, his eyes full of anger…for a moment, it even scared me. It was a level of anger that seemed to surpass even the grandfather’s, but the one being stared at didn’t flinch.

   Phii Hill gently released me from his arm, gently pushing my shoulder to turn me towards him.

   “Are you okay?” His angry eyes turned into a look of concern. I shook my head as an answer. After a while, Phii Hill shifted his gaze back to the tall figure in the coat.

   “Why…are you not satisfied with me?”

   “Do you want me to speak frankly?” Phii Hill replied with an equally icy tone.    “Huh…you stupid grandson, how many times have I told you he’s deceiving you?!” I flinched slightly as he shouted again, causing everyone around to scatter, probably not wanting to get involved in what seemed like a dangerous situation.

   Phii Hill didn’t respond, instead, he gently pulled my wrist towards his car which had been parked nearby for who-knows-how-long.    “Where do you think you’re going?!”

   “I’m going back home to talk to Grandpa.” The tall figure said before leaving the other person fuming. From what I’ve heard, Phii Hill’s grandfather is a hothead, so it probably wasn’t far from the truth. Phii Hill opened the passenger door for me, and the luxury car quickly drove off from the area.

   “What…is all this about?” I asked, not understanding.

   “Nothing. Just a misunderstanding on my part.”

   Hill kept pressing his lips together after hearing that. Instead of the gentle smile comforting me, the throbbing pain was still there.

   If anyone else were in my shoes…they probably wouldn’t feel good either, right?

   “Is it about Phii Hill’s grandpa?”

   “Yes.”

“He said I was after benefits…which isn’t true at all.” I said, feeling hurt. His hand left the steering wheel to gently pat my head.

   “I know. It’s okay, I’ll talk to Grandpa to clear things up.” The tall figure said firmly. If it’s just a misunderstanding, it should be fine. I hope Phii Hill’s grandpa doesn’t really hate me.

   I stole glances at the driver…Phii Hill has always been gentle and kind like this, and that’s what I like about him.

   A FEW DAYS LATER

   “Ter…here.” Phii Hill, in his school uniform with a backpack, handed me a beautiful blue bag filled with various treats. I couldn’t help but smile widely and walked over to him.

   “What’s this?” I took the bag.

   “As an apology…from Grandpa.”

   “Huh?” I raised my eyebrows slightly in confusion, then opened the blue bag to find it full of sweets – cakes, cookies, and other desserts.

   “Grandpa understands now, and he sent these to apologize for his behavior

before.” Those words made me smile broadly again, and even the person in front of me smiled along. Good…that the misunderstanding is cleared up.

   “Thank you.”

   “But…you said you two understood each other. Is there anything else?” I raised my eyebrows in question, yes…because Grandpa should have calmed down by now. That’s why I didn’t understand what Phii Thanmild said about Grandpa earlier.

   “Actually…I didn’t fully understand everything. We have a small agreement…” Phii Hill sighed softly before beginning to explain.

   “What does that mean…you’re not dating then?” Grandpa is always like this, stubborn and never listens to anyone. I believe it has its pros and cons, but it’s not right what Grandpa did to Ter, that’s something I would never accept, even though I might agree with Grandpa on other things.

   “Yes.” I wasn’t just displeased…I was angry at what was happening right in front of me. It’s not something an elder should do…shouting at someone on the street, is that supposed to be right? I didn’t want to criticize someone I love and respect, but Grandpa often does things out of uncontrolled anger.

   “So you’re saying you’re just senior and junior?”

   “Something like that, sir.”

   “Well…from what I know, it’s not just that, tell me the truth!”

   “We’re really not dating.”

   “But I see you take good care of that kid…why is that?”

   “I love him, sir.”    I told the truth.

   That made the person sitting at the desk slam his hand down hard, startling the two housekeepers standing nearby, but I thought I was used to it by now…Grandpa never changes. If he hears something he doesn’t like or doesn’t agree with, it’s been that way since I was a child.

   “You…how dare you say that!”

   “I am telling the truth.”

   “Oh…heavens, my children and grandchildren, all gone mad!! My good son never did as I wished, and now my grandson turns out to be some kind of pervert!”

   “Please retract that statement, grandpa.” The last words didn’t bother me much. It just wouldn’t be right…if it insulted someone I love. No one deserves to be demeaned this way, right?

   “Quite the mouth, did my son teach you to speak like that?”

“I taught him myself.” came the gentle voice of the woman I love most as she softly opened the door. She is my grandmother. Despite the signs of age, her slender figure and grace could not be diminished.

   “I told you to rest, didn’t I?” Grandpa’s previously harsh voice softened noticeably, his stern face now showing concern.

   “I couldn’t sleep because of all the commotion.” Grandma pulled her silk robe tighter, “Hill…give me some support here.” I quickly moved to support her arm.

   “What’s going on with you two, Grandpa and grandson?”

   “It’s Hill…he went and said he loves some boy from who-knows-where, when

he’s just out to deceive him.” Grandpa was still angry about this but didn’t shout anymore because Grandma dislikes loud noises.

   “Is it true?” The small figure of the young woman looked up at me, and I answered truthfully without hesitation, which made Grandma smile.    “That’s wonderful…I thought my grandson would never know how to love.

Bring him to meet me sometime.”

   “Yes, of course.” I smiled sweetly back at her. Grandma taught me differently from Grandpa; he’s a businessman who has been backstabbed so many times he’s become overly suspicious, but Grandma often falls ill, which meant I spent more time with her.

   “You old man should stop being so suspicious. I bet you just said the most

awful things to your only grandson.” Grandma’s words, which seemed to see right through Grandpa, made him fall silent for a moment.

   “Old people are like this, Hill, up and down. Your grandpa didn’t mean to say those things, trust me.” Grandma said. I nodded in understanding.

   “You shouldn’t bring shame to our family by loving another man.” Grandpa said with a colder tone, clenching his teeth as if holding back his anger.

“I knew you, Grandpa would never agree.” I said, making the listener raise an eyebrow in confusion, “So I have a proposal.”

   “What?”

   “I’ll become a doctor…as Grandpa always wanted to be, as you expected from

Dad.” I decided to say what I had prepared. Throughout my life, with Grandpa’s crazy hope of becoming a doctor, when it didn’t work out for him, he pushed it onto Dad, and when Dad couldn’t do it, it all fell on me…even though I never wanted that.

   “Hmm…and will you get the top rank in the exams?”

   “Yes.”

   “And will you graduate with top honors?”

   “Yes.”

   “Good.”

   “No, Hill.” Grandma gently shook my arm, “You can’t force someone else’s life like this. I know Hill doesn’t want to become one. Don’t force yourself to follow Grandpa’s wishes.”

   “It’s okay, Grandma. I’m fine.” I said, looking into those dull gray eyes with confidence. I will be fine…as long as I just abandon my dreams.

   It’s okay…as long as the person I love is still by my side.

   “If you’re not dating…then fine, but I have a condition. You must follow our agreement, and you absolutely must not do anything that would disgrace our family.”

   “Yes.” I agreed without hesitation, then gently supported Grandma back to her bedroom to rest.

   “Grandpa is stubborn…he never changes…when he was young, he was even

worse. I don’t know what I was thinking of marrying someone like that.”

Grandma sighed softly as she slowly lay down on the bed.

“But I believe that time will prove your love. By then, Grandpa will definitely

have to accept it.” Her beautiful face smiled sweetly, making me smile too. I knew well that…changing Grandpa’s mind would be difficult. There was no use in arguing back or acting like a rebellious child unwilling to listen.

   “Take some sweets to that boy as an apology, okay? Grandpa did something bad, didn’t he? Tell him Grandpa sent it, I think Grandpa feels at least a little guilty for acting out emotionally.”

   “Grandma, you always understand Grandpa completely, don’t she?”    “It’s always been like this for nearly forty years we’ve been together. Your grandpa’s kindness is hidden under all that suspicion. Did you notice when I entered Grandpa’s room, he didn’t shout loudly?”

   “Yes.” I nodded in agreement.

   “Grandpa has never been bad to me, believe it or not, that’s what makes me feel special.”

   “Mean to the whole world, but kind to just one person.” I echoed the phrase Grandma used to say when I was a child.

   “Yes, and Grandma has a gut feeling that her grandson will be the same as

Grandpa.”

   And then, a month later, Grandma’s health deteriorated. The family doctor suggested she should live in a place with clean air, so Grandpa and Grandma moved to the North. My parents and I couldn’t move with them because of my father’s work, which led to me seeing Grandma less often.

   I listened intently to what was being explained before me. In truth, Grandpa still didn’t fully understand our situation; he and Phii Hill just had an agreement. That Phii Hill had to become a top doctor and graduate with first-class honors, that’s quite harsh, T^T

“Do you want to be a doctor?” I asked, knowing it wouldn’t be easy for someone who didn’t want to pursue it.

“Not exactly.” Phii Hill replied, pondering for a moment, “But I can manage.”    Even though he said he could manage, if he really didn’t want to…

“But don’t you have other dreams?” I furrowed my brows, feeling uneasy upon hearing what Phii Hill had said.

To be with me, does he have to give up his dreams?

   That’s not fair at all.

   “I do.” The tall figure said with a deep, soft voice, lifting his hand to gently touch mine on the table, “But they’re probably not as important as the person standing in front of me right now.”

The serious glint in his eyes left me speechless. I could only press my lips together firmly to suppress some overwhelming feeling in my chest, but it didn’t work. His firm hand squeezed mine lightly, indicating that it was okay, that there was nothing for me to worry about and everything would be fine.

I stared into those earnest eyes, even though I was still trembling inside…There’s no need. I no longer believe when you say it’s nothing. There must be something you’re carrying, right?

The words “it’s nothing.” They’ve never been true.

“Don’t say it’s nothing anymore.” because when you say it’s nothing, it usually means I’m the only one who’s fine, isn’t that right?

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, don’t say it, it’s an order…it’ll become a forbidden word you’re not allowed to say.” I said, even though I hadn’t finished organizing my thoughts. Phii Hill looked at me with slight surprise as the dessert I had just ordered was served.

So, I started dealing with the cake out of frustration.

“When I say ‘it’s nothing,’ it means we both will be fine, okay?” Suddenly Phii Hill spoke up after watching me eat the cake for a while. I raised my eyebrows at him, understanding without any further explanation needed, which was good. If it were me, it would surely take another couple of days.

“Oh, uh, that sounds good.” I said, “and don’t think about hiding anything anymore, understand?” I put on a stern face, making him crack a small, amused smile.

“I never intended to hide anything. I just thought if our agreement went well, there wouldn’t be any issues…but it didn’t turn out as planned.”

“What didn’t go as planned?” I asked, curiously, preparing myself a little for the next question, “Does it have something to do with you disappearing? And with Grandma, too.” I ventured a guess, and it seemed to be right. Phii Hill raised his eyebrows in slight surprise when I mentioned Grandma.

“Did you know about Grandma too?” Phii Hill asked with a puzzled look, “You,

Jo…”

Oops…That’s bad. Phii Johan told me not to let Phii Hill know that Phii Johan was the one who spilled the beans.

“Forget it, the truth is as you thought.” The tall figure sighed heavily as if it was painful to continue, which made me hesitant to ask further, as if I was about to press on someone’s wound.

Sigh…today has been quite the day, I might as well count today as one of the toughest days of my life.    Rrrrrrrrrr

“Excuse me.” Phii Hill said politely, then picked up the call.

“Yes, Mom.”

(Hill, where are you?)

   “At the coffee shop.”

(In or out of the city?)

   “In the city.”

(Oh…that’s bad. They’ve been out looking for you for the past ten minutes, they should be there soon. Sigh. We shouldn’t have been late, now they’ve lost us.)

   “…”

(I’ll talk to them…Your dad had urgent business, he’s been on the plane since noon.)

   “Yes.” I didn’t understand what the two of them were talking about; Phii Hill’s mother didn’t give details, but it seemed like they understood each other with just that.

(Can you rush back to the condo in time, or should it be now? How are we going to handle this?) The voice on the other end of the line sounded very anxious, causing me to feel a bit worried about what might happen next.

“No need to talk to him, Mom, I’ll go back and handle it myself.” Phii Hill responded before hanging up and glancing outside the cafe to see a black luxury car pulling up next to his car.

Before three men in dark suits got out of the car, walked into the cafe, and headed straight towards us.

“Young master, you are urgently requested to come with us.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 16: Everywhere You Want To Go

   “Thanmild, should go see Dr. Tonfa’s dad in psychiatric examination room four.” Phii Johan teased.

“Give me a break, go tease someone else.”

“But it’s true, I think you are in bad shape.”

“Ugh, you have gone crazy.” Phii Arthit said with disgust.

“Crazy people aren’t just nuts, you know.” Phii Tonfa retorted, “It’s probably because of accumulated stress. Even doctors can get sick, it’s not unusual. Our field of study is highly stressful and competitive, so when there’s added pressure and stress, it can lead to mental health issues. If we start criticizing them, it just hurts them more.”

I turned my attention to listen intently to Phii Tonfa’s explanation, much like when a doctor is explaining details to a patient’s family.

“It’s not strange for someone to lose control. It’s an illness, after all.”    “And do your dad’s patients include anyone like Mild?” Phii Johan asked Phii Tonfa.

“Yeah, plenty of my dad’s patients are medical students from our university. Not just doctors, but pharmacists, dentists, or anyone under high pressure. Sometimes it’s not just the competitive nature of the study, but personal or family issues can contribute too. Mild might have depression. I’m not sure if she’s on medication; when someone with depression misses their meds for just a couple of days, their condition can worsen significantly.”

“Oh…you really want to be a psychiatrist, don’t you?” Phii Johan remarked, “Alright then, as a doctor myself, I’ll refrain from speaking harmfully to patients.”    “Does Phii Mild have depression?” I interjected into the seniors’ conversation.

“I was just guessing, but yes, many of my dad’s patients have that condition. Oh, and my dad is a psychiatrist with a private practice.” Phii Tonfa said kindly, “Nowadays, this illness is very common, but most people refuse to see a doctor. Really, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not crazy, you’re just sick. If you’re sick, you need to see a specialist. Physical therapy for physical ailments, psychotherapy for mental ones.”

“That’s how it is.” I nodded, understanding and pondering. It’s no wonder someone might threaten self-harm; people always have problems that others can’t see.

“That’s the way to be a doctor, and watch out for Hill, forget him.” Phii Johan added, and everyone chuckled slightly at his words, “Oh, and about what we heard earlier, it’s about Hill’s grandfather, right?” he then turned to ask the other two friends, and both Phii Johan and Phii Arthit exchanged a blank look.

“Chills, man…Can we not talk about Hill’s grandfather?” Phii Arthit said, rubbing his arms.

“Did it happen to you too? Hahaha.” Phii Johan laughed.

“Yeah, Hill’s grandfather might be sick too. Let’s all go see Tonfa’s dad together.”

“Why?” I asked again, interrupting, since from what the seniors were saying, it seemed they knew something about the grandfather. After I asked, the three seniors exchanged hesitant glances.    “Well…”

“It’s not worth saying.” Phii Arthit whispered to Phii Johan, but sorry, I’m this close, how could I not hear, and that makes me even more suspicious.

“Since we’re already here, why not tell the little one so we can understand each other a bit, then maybe have Hill explain it clearly later.” Phii Tonfa said with a big sigh.

“Would that be good? But I think Hill doesn’t want to talk about this. He doesn’t like telling family stories to others.” Phii Arthit replied.    “And how do you guys know?” Phii Tonfa asked.

“We’ve encountered him, right, Joe? How did you encounter it?”

“Shit, he was creepy.” Phii Johan said with a sarcastic smile, while rubbing his arm like Phii Arthit did earlier, “I thought I’d trick Hill. Sorry, I’ve got money.”    “It’s not about being scared of being tricked out of money, but about you tricking

Hill into becoming a jerk like you.”

“Oh really…And what about you, Arthit?”

“He says I’m bad news, I smoke, drink, go to pubs, all that low stuff. Not suitable to be around Hill. Well, I’d like to tell Grandpa that his grandson isn’t much different from me.” Phii Arthit said with annoyance, “Maybe only Sky passes the old man’s standards.”

“Of course, that’s what being good is all about.” Phii Tonfa said jokingly.    “Does Phii Hill’s grandpa not like you too?” I decided to ask, “Including me, right?”

My question made Phii Johan look troubled again.

“Well…yeah, I think, Hill’s grandpa is old, you know…stubborn. Even with just

Hill’s friends, he’s like this, with lovers…especially if they’re of the same sex, I bet he won’t accept it. Hill feels bad about it too. He apologized to me several times, so I decided to let go of Hill’s grandpa’s opinions. We’re friends with him, not with his grandpa.”

“Last time, Phii Hill’s grandpa wasn’t joking with me either.” I said, somehow noticing my fist was clenched, Phoon gently pried my hand open and held it softly, “But Phii Hill said grandpa was joking and even sent an apology. After that…I haven’t seen any issues related to grandpa.”

“Hill won’t tell.” Phii Johan sighed, “Especially not to someone he loves. Even if

Nong Ter asks, he might not tell.”

“The issue with grandpa…for Hill, it’s probably the heaviest problem in his life.”    I looked down, letting Phoon gently squeeze my hand and Foam stroke my shoulder.

“If I ask, Phii Hill won’t tell…right?”

“It’s not a problem that can be easily fixed, and Hill is like this, he likes to carry everything on his own. What he wants you to do is trust him and wait for him to solve the problem himself.”

“What…so what happened?” I asked, unable to resist, Phii Johan sighed, covering his forehead, “Phii Johan…do you know?”

“Uh…yeah, I know. Hill didn’t tell me, but I found out myself.”

“What…what is it?”

“Sigh. I shouldn’t…Hill might get mad at me if I accidentally tell you.” Phii Johan said with a tense voice, but everyone was eagerly waiting for what Phii Johan would say next.

“Sigh, you all look so curious.”

“Alright, I’ll tell you. Hill’s grandfather is a businessman…since I’m in the same business circle, it was easier to find out. He’s quite strict and disciplined, yet kindhearted, but after one incident…he changed, almost becoming a different person.”

“Hill’s grandmother was hit by a car.”

“At the main road’s pedestrian crossing, a pickup truck was driving at high speed. From the CCTV footage, the driver…deliberately drove into the woman who was crossing the road alone.”

“On purpose.”

“It happened about a year ago.”    A year ago…?

   “Yes…it’s not a problem that can be easily fixed, is it? If you want grandpa to get better…it probably depends only on grandma now.”

“Oh, shit.” Phii Johan softly slapped his own mouth, “I ended up telling it, didn’t I? Hill will definitely be mad.”

Phii Johan said that Hill’s grandma was hit by a car last year…

“Phii Joe, do you remember around which month last year?”

“Uh…if I remember correctly, it should be February or March, something like that.”

March…?

March was exactly when Phii Hill disappeared…

At first, I thought Phii Hill disappeared for some other reason…so I was hesitant to hear more. Sometimes, I even thought he might have gone because of someone else. So I was still afraid to hear the whole truth.

Actually, there was a major problem within Phii Hill’s family after all.

If that’s the case…I won’t let him bear everything alone anymore.

I didn’t ask Phii Johan anything more because he said to ask Phii Hill for the details himself, but what got to me was when Phii Johan said that even if I asked Phii Hill, he might not talk about it.

Because family matters are sensitive.

Even if you’re someone trustworthy, if it’s internal stuff, outsiders should try not to get too involved. I remembered what my father once told me, but the thing is, it’s exactly what I’m most curious about. It probably has to do with the reason why my brother disappeared, Phii Johan mentioned February or March. We parted ways around March, on the senior students’ last day.

Yes…it was the early morning of the next day.

I just kept thinking aimlessly, chatting a bit with my two friends and some seniors while waiting for the last set of photos, which Phoon was supposed to take because I was starting to get lazy.

We’ve been waiting for nearly an hour now. The people rehearsing upstairs haven’t taken a break at all, Phii Napdao is really tough. Some of the girls were starting to get sore feet from wearing high heels for so long, but they still forced themselves to smile or else they’d have to start walking from the beginning again.    “Is it usually this long for rehearsals?” I asked Phii Meili, who was busy on her phone.

“Yes, because this morning there was all that fuss. So we’re having an intense rehearsal without breaks, we probably won’t get any rest now, the next break will be when we disband.” Phii Meili looked up to answer me, “Hill looks so bored, he probably doesn’t want to rehearse anymore. But I think the doctor doesn’t need to rehearse anymore, he’s got everything down perfectly. We’re just walking back and forth because others mess up.”

I glanced around, looking for the person in question. Phii Hill had a blank face.

Not smiling sweetly like Phii Napdao had instructed, but even so…

Still handsome…

What kind of person is this…

“Oh, but today we’re short of people…both Doctor Mild, her friend, and some others didn’t show up for rehearsal, we might not be able to take the group photo.” Phii Meili suddenly remembered, right, you need everyone for a group photo, “Let me go check first.”

Then Phii Meili got up to talk to Phii Napdao. Phii Napdao seemed to have just remembered too, taking a moment to think before announcing over the loudspeaker.

“Forgot about that, we don’t have everyone today, let’s do the photos another day, sorry to the photographers, okay, now we’ll do the final walk-through, if everyone does well, you can go home.” Phii Napdao said, which visibly relieved everyone on stage, before they all went backstage, and the music started playing again.

   If we’re not taking the final photos, why make me wait for an hour?

   And so, the final walk-through went smoothly, probably because the promise of “going home” made everyone more focused.

   “Phew, finally done for today.” Phii Jijo’s voice came from afar as she stretched out lazily, and everyone started to leave the stage one by one.

The noise of the whole crew started to rise, and the staff began packing up. It was well past three in the afternoon, almost four. I’ve been here shooting since morning, damn, my first job was quite intense.

“Finally done, what’s next, Ter?” Foam asked me, “Are you heading back?”

“Uh…yeah.” I took a moment to think. Actually, I could go back now, but…    I looked around for Phii Hill, spotting him talking to Phii Napdao for a bit before his eyes met mine. His sharp features softened into a slight smile when he saw I was looking at him too.

Ugh, caught sneaking a peek, T^T

I quickly averted my gaze, although it was too late. Then Phii Hill started walking towards me.

“Nong Ter, if possible, don’t tell Hill that I was the one who told you about that.” suddenly Phii Johan came over and whispered to me softly. Phii Hill raised an eyebrow in confusion seeing Phii Johan whisper something, and there was also a hint of irritation mixed in his expression, his thick brows furrowing, indicating he was starting to get annoyed. I quickly nodded to Phii Johan to show I understood.    “What’s going on?” Phii Hill asked Phii Johan in a firm voice, making me feel a bit uneasy for him. The person being questioned just gave a forced smile. “Nothing.”

The one who received the answer didn’t seem too satisfied with it, but his irritation softened into a gentle smile when he looked at me.

“Such a double standard.” Phii Johan whispered loud enough for the other to hear, causing Phii Tonfa and Phii Arthit to chuckle a bit at their friends’ reactions.

“I’m tired of the jealous ones.” Phii Arthit said jokingly. Phii Hill just shrugged slightly, showing he didn’t care.

“How was it? Did you wait long?” Phii Hill asked before sitting down beside me, making me inadvertently move closer to Phii Meili.

“Very long.” I said honestly, making a slight frown, which made the person next to me laugh.

“But you still waited, I’m glad.” He said in a teasing tone that annoyed me.

“I was waiting to take pictures, not for you.” I retorted.

“Hmm, I saw you looking at me.” I really didn’t like Phii Hill’s teasing tone; it was both annoying and somehow made me feel embarrassed all the time.    “Oh my, staring like that, are you going to eat him up, doctor?” Phii Meili said, sticking her tongue out. I hadn’t noticed Phii Hill was staring that intensely.

“Phii Meiliii.” I said through gritted teeth, quietly asking her to stop teasing, with an expression of T^T.

“Oh, look, the doctor is all red, embarrassed. What should we do?” After she said that, I had to turn my back to Phii Hill and face Phii Meili instead, then made a pouty face at her.

“Stop teasing me.” I said softly, before hearing Phii Hill chuckle a little. I couldn’t help but turn around to scold him with a scowl, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Phii Hill was still smirking, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t make that angry face.”    “Hmph…It’s good to be a little scared.”

“It’s too cute instead.” What the person next to me said left me at a loss for words, unlike the speaker who continued to grin cheekily, seemingly unaware of how much my heart was pounding.    “No…no need.”

“Alright, that’s enough, I can’t stand watching anymore. My heart hurts.” Phii Johan said before standing up.

“What’s hurting? We’ve got friends in moments like this too, I’m proud watching.” Phii Tonfa said, making me frown in confusion. Was this side of Phii Hill really that unusual? Before, he was somewhat like this…but he wasn’t this forward with me.

“Seems like the one with the hurting heart isn’t me, right?” Phii Hill said, seemingly playing along, which made Phii Johan look both confused and stunned.

“Do you…know?” the other asked. Phii Hill didn’t reply, just gave a sly smile,

“You…really know a lot, huh? Annoying.”

“You know just as much.”

“Huh?”

“Whatever, are we going to head back?”

“Let’s go back, what else are we waiting for?” Phii Johan said, slightly irritated by what Phii Hill had said. The person next to him didn’t care about the annoyance, seeming more pleased with having teased his friend. Then everyone stood up to get ready to leave, except Phii Meili who had to stay with the staff.

“See you, drive safely, everyone.” Phii Meili said while waving.

“See you.” I said with a broad smile, expressing my thanks and giving a respectful gesture, followed by Foam and Phoon doing the same.

On the way back, Phii Hill was still walking beside me, which sparked no small amount of whispering from the two friends walking behind us. They were whispering but clearly wanted me to hear, oh, you guys are really something, aren’t you? I had to turn back and glare at them once.

“So, how are you getting back?” Foam asked me again once we reached the parking lot.

“I guess I’ll walk.” I said. Normally, I walk to and from work at the studio, especially since the dorm isn’t far and I don’t have a car.

“You can ride with us.” Foam offered.

“It’s okay, I’ll take Ter back.” Phii Hill interjected.

“Oh…alright, see you later, Ter.”

“Wait…hold on.” I hadn’t even agreed to go back with him, why didn’t Foam ask anything? Then my two friends said goodbye to the senior doctors and rode off on their parked motorcycles not far away.

“Don’t abandon me, man, I’m doomed if I have to ride alone.” Foam said jokingly, making me stick out my tongue at them as their motorcycles sped off. I could still hear them arguing about which way to go.

What time will these guys get to the dorm?

“Are you sure your friend won’t get lost again?” Phii Tonfa asked.

“I don’t know.” I replied, “It might be easier on the way back. Plus, I just taught Phoon about left and right a moment ago.” Phii Tonfa nodded, understanding but still slightly worried.

“Well then, see you later, Hill, goodbye Nong Ter.” Phii Johan said with a smile. I smiled back, as did Phii Tonfa and Phii Arthit, before the three of them got into their fancy sports car. Not long after, the sound of tires screeching against the road was painfully loud, and within a short time, they were gone. Man, Phii Johan really drives like a maniac.

And that left me…with Phii Hill.

“Let’s go.” Phii Hill said, extending his hand for me to take. I hesitated for a moment but then decided to take his hand. He seemed a bit surprised but didn’t say anything; his large hand gently held mine as if he was afraid to hurt me, yet firm enough to ensure I wouldn’t pull away.

Here we go again…a warm feeling surged in my chest, my heart wasn’t beating too fast to be scary, but it was strong enough to let me know something was reacting to the gentle warmth being transmitted. He led me to his luxury car, opening the driver’s side door for me. Wow…such a gentleman, I couldn’t help but think sarcastically.

Phii Hill sat in the driver’s seat, then started the car.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked. I fell silent, thinking. I wanted to go back to the dorm, but there were still many things I wanted to ask him.

“…Uh. I don’t know.” I dodged answering. If not back to the dorm, where else could I go? I wasn’t even hungry for food yet.    “Not going back to the dorm?”

“Well…I guess.” I said softly. If I said I’m not going back to the dorm, it would seem like I want to go somewhere else with him, and the person beside me smiled a little, probably thinking I wanted to spend more time with him.

Not at all…I just have questions I want to ask!

“Are you hungry yet?” Phii Hill asked as the luxury car started to move towards the exit of the parking lot.

“Not yet.”

“Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“Um…not really.”

“Do you want to eat some cake?” Phii Hill suggested. Usually, when we didn’t know where to go, Phii Hill would decide by opting for desserts, which I always jokingly agreed to since I could eat sweets endlessly. Here, I hadn’t even had my fill like I wanted. Yes…the issue was not having enough money. After paying the increased dorm fees and other university expenses, I was reluctant to ask for more money from home.

“Let’s eat.”

My answer made the driver immediately turn onto the main road. I was thinking about what to ask while we were in the car, but I was also afraid to broach a big topic like family matters.

“Here.”

“Yes?”

“There’s something I want to ask about.” My words made Phii Hill raise his eyebrows slightly in surprise.

“What is it?”

“Will you answer everything?”

“Everything.”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t want to talk about?” I asked cautiously. Phii Hill fell silent for a moment, his gaze not leaving the road ahead.

“There is.” His response made me swallow hard, and what was more unsettling was his steady, unwavering tone. It seemed like Phii Hill knew I would ask, “But I will tell you. If you want to know.”

“You’ve never told anyone else?”

“No…” Phii Hill paused for a moment, “But Jo knows.”

“Phii Jo…?” I echoed his words, and Phii Hill, of course, knew that Phii Johan was aware, “Why did you think Phii Joe would know?”

“Jo is curious by nature; he probably went and dug up the information.” Phii Hill said as he skillfully turned the steering wheel into a small alley, was that a polite way of calling someone nosy?

Before I could ask more, the car stopped in front of a small coffee shop with no customers inside, which made me feel somewhat relieved…I wasn’t ready to be stared at for being with a senior from the medical school. I felt a strange embarrassment as I stepped into the shop with Phii Hill. The female staff’s eyes widened, and they nudged each other, looking somewhat envious. Well, I’ve never had girls look at me like that before.

We sat at the last table in the shop, and a waitress brought over the menu.    I secretly wondered if Phii Hill had come here with someone else before, because typically, he wasn’t fond of sweets or coffee. If he wasn’t here with me, Phii Hill wouldn’t step into a coffee shop at all, except for my family’s place…Oh, my family runs a café, my mom manages it all by herself, it’s actually a restaurant, but since she likes baking, it also serves as a café and dessert place.

“Their hot chocolate here is good.” suddenly the person across from me said. So I stopped letting my thoughts wander.

“Do you come here often?”

“Just once.”

“With whom?” I blurted out. He smiled slightly, as if pleased, but I wasn’t jealous at all! I was just curious, that’s all.

“Alone.”

“I don’t believe that, you don’t like sweets.” I said…If he doesn’t like eating sweets, why would he come alone? He must have come with someone else.

   “Ha-ha, really, I was alone.” He said with an affectionate smile, resting his chin on his hand, then his eyes lifted from the menu to look at me.

“And why did you come?”

“…”

Phii Hill didn’t answer, as if he was pondering something.

“I missed you, Ter.”

Huh!?

“Uh, what, missed what?”

“Really. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. Normally, if I don’t see you for even one day, I start feeling crazy.”

Oh my god!! This doctor’s crazy!! What are you saying? Not seeing me for one day drives you crazy? We used to see each other almost every day before, even on Saturdays, Arthit would sometimes sneak in to help out at my mom’s restaurant.

   So, he probably didn’t come to see Christy as I had thought.

   But he came to see me, didn’t he…

   Waaaahhh…Just thinking that it was because of me makes my heart flutter again, T^T. I thought he was there for Christy, but deep down, I still wanted him to come for me…I just wanted to see him, that’s all.

   “And why did you have to come to this café?” I’ve never been to this café before, I thought if he was thinking of me, why this place? It doesn’t seem related at all.

   “Ter, you like cocoa, right?”

“Yes.” I nodded in acknowledgment. I like fresh milk or green tea too, but cocoa is my favorite, so I order it every time I go to any café.

“Because I was thinking of you…but couldn’t meet you. So, I wanted to do something to ease the longing.”

“Like…finding a good dessert place like you always did, and once I found one, I wanted to take Ter there.”

“Phii Hill…” I inadvertently called out his name, my voice trembling for some reason.

“So…I went around tasting desserts at nearby places until I almost tried them all, and I thought this café was the best.”

“…”

“Even if there wasn’t a chance to meet…I still thought of silly things…” “Like…wanting to take Ter here, and then to all the places Ter wants to go.” Those sharp eyes softened slightly, but just a little, unlike my heart which was trembling and wavering.

“So…I gathered information about beautiful places and delicious cafés, hoping one day we might meet again.”

Sniff…I could sense the melancholy in his voice. I bit my lip to hold back some feelings that were threatening to overflow from somewhere unknown.

   That includes the places he took me for photos previously as well, I guess…That’s why he chose such a nice place for the photoshoot.

   This must be another side of Phii Hill…that I believe no one else has seen.    “I thought…I wouldn’t get to see you again…really.” His usually deep and gentle voice now softened, his expression showed he was afraid…afraid that what he said might come true, yet mixed with joy at seeing me here.

“But here we are, meeting.” I finally managed to squeeze out my words.    “Yes…” The tall figure gave a gentle smile as always.

“Thank you…for making it possible for us to meet.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 15: Our Past

   “This Hill is really Hill.”

Johan said it as if he was quite used to it. I was a bit taken aback by the phrase “whatever” from the person next to me. I thought Phii Hill would be more considerate, especially since Phii Thanmild has known him for so long, and she seemed to be quite affected.

The reason I thought Phii Hill was considerate is probably because he has always been attentive to me, my sister, my friends, and those around me.

He would be the Phii Hill who takes care of everything.

If Christy had told me to observe more closely, what I might notice is…that in reality, Phii Hill might not care about anyone at all.

Except for me.

So what, now my heart is starting to feel uneasy again, I feel a sudden warmth spread across my chest.

Sigh…

“Umm, before this, Hill didn’t really care. He just didn’t say anything, but now that he has spoken…”

“Thanmild probably thought that. You shouldn’t have said anything at all, it’s like stabbing me in the heart.”

I listened to the seniors talk about Phii Thanmild for a while. It seemed like not many were really concerned about her. A few might say they were worried, but not to the extent of rushing over to check on her. This was different from how other star members seemed to care a lot for their medical faculty star.

The more Phii Thanmild cried, the more attention she got, which probably led to some dislike towards Phii Hill as well.

Just like that senior said, I guess. Just by crying, you get everything? That’s what they call unfair.

“Ter, hey there! I’m here!” Foam’s voice from behind made me turn around quickly to look. Finally, Foam, Phoon, and Fah had arrived.

“Um…” They moved chairs to sit behind me, looking a bit tense because it was full of seniors. Hmm, it’s not just them. I’m also quite tense. Meanwhile, Tonfa went to sit near Johan and Arthit.

“Nong Ter…Are these your friends?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon respectfully greeted the seniors with a slight bow.

“Yes. I’m Foam, and this is Typhoon.”

“Hello, I’m Phii Meili, the one in charge of Nong Ter’s photography duties.”

“Oh, so you’re really here to take photos.” Foam raised an eyebrow and looked at the camera hanging around my neck.    “Really, why would I lie?”

“Wow. Not bad, why didn’t you invite Phoon too? He’s like a pro photographer.” Foam said.

“Oh, right, Phoon, you like photography, right?” Foam’s words reminded me that Typhoon indeed loves to take photos, even more seriously than I do, who only takes photos occasionally.

“Yeah, but I don’t take pictures of people.” Phoon said. I couldn’t tell why he looked so uninterested, almost annoyed for some reason.

“Oh, then what do you take photos of?” Phii Meili asked, “Is your name Nong

Phoon? Oh, how cute, and look, your cheeks are red, did you get sunburned?”    Phoon gave a shy smile after Phii Meili’s teasing. It seems like Phii Meili teases almost every guy.

“Wow, compliment me too, I’m feeling left out.” Foam said jokingly.

“Okay, okay, Nong Foam you are cute too.” Phii Meili said with a playful tone, reaching up to pinch Foam’s cheek lightly.

“I photograph the sky.” Typhoon replied.

“The sky? How do you do that?” Phii Meili asked, trying to picture it in her mind.

“Show her your Instagram, Phoon.” I suggested, remembering that Phoon’s Instagram was full of his sky pictures.

Typhoon then took out his phone and opened his Instagram for Phii Meili to see.

It was all sky photos, like the whole account was curated with shades of blue. Phoon’s sky for each day, the sunset, the sunrise, during the rain, during storms, clear skies, cloudy skies, and even the night sky dotted with stars and moonlight.

There were some photos that also captured the sea since Phoon’s house is near the beach, but even those were in a blue tone.

“Using the username ‘Sky Collector’, huh? Wow, these are beautiful. Why only the sky?” Phii Meili asked after scrolling through Phoon’s Instagram.

“It’s beautiful. I like the blue tones; if I take pictures of trees or other things, the colors clash. It’s not as pretty.”

“The captions are almost the same for every picture.”

“Hehe, just a little.” Phoon smiled shyly before taking his phone back from Phii Meili.

“You’re strange, you know? At least post some other kinds of photos on Instagram. One of my friends likes to take sky pictures too, but not every single photo is like yours.”

“That’s my thing.”

“But for the closing scene, they want the background to be the sky, I’m stressed. Can you help me take some photos?” I asked Phoon. If he could help, I’d feel much less worried.

“Probably not, I’m not good at taking pictures of people.”

“Come on, just help me out.”

“I can just watch, I won’t take any photos.”

“Yay, that’s still good.” I said happily. If it’s about capturing the sky as a backdrop, I trust Phoon.

I turned to talk quietly with Foam and Phoon, letting the senior stars continue their conversation. It seemed like no one really paid much attention to us, and Phii Hill didn’t say anything either.

But I didn’t turn to look, so I don’t know what he was doing at that moment.    “Um…excuse me, are you Phii Hill?” Foam asked, and the person in question turned to look at who was calling him.

“Yes?, that’s me. Do you know me?”

“A little, I often see you on the Cute Boy page.”

“Oh, I see.” Phii Hill smiled. He didn’t show any signs of annoyance. He seemed to be waiting for Foam to continue.

“Uh…I’m Foam, a friend of Ter.” Foam gave a slight dry smile, probably feeling a bit nervous, not knowing what else to say.

“Yes, nice to meet you.” His friendly demeanor helped ease the tension for the one who greeted first. Imagine if you greeted someone and they scowled at you, no one would like that.

“And you must be Nong Phoon, right?” Phii Hill asked, and Phoon jolted slightly.

“Oh…yes, that’s right. Nice to meet you.” Phoon seemed even more tense than Foam. I can understand, because Phii Hill comes off as somewhat hard to approach, which makes me feel tense too.    “Yes, did you guys get lost on your way here?”

“Wow, Nong Ter…” Suddenly, Phii Meili whispered in my ear, “Dr. Hill is talking to someone he just met. How is this possible? When we first met, he barely talked to me.”

“Um…it’s probably not that extreme.” I gave Phii Meili a forced smile. It’s probably not that bad, right?

“Exactly. Even if you tell Dr. Jo, he’d say the same thing.”

“Is that really true?” I made a face as if I didn’t quite believe it, but Phii Meili looked very confident.

“Yes, we got lost near the alley in front of the university, Phoon gave the wrong directions.”

“You’re the one who turned the wrong way, Foam.”

“You told me to turn left!”

“Right, into the science department alley.”

“That’s right, not left!”

“Oh…really…”

I sighed quietly to myself, I had already guessed that these two wouldn’t make it anywhere together in a car, but that doesn’t mean having me along would make it any better. Who can remember the way, anyway? I’m just glad I can remember the way back to my dorm.

“And did Fah come to pick you up?” I asked.

“Yes, Fah is great with directions. We were just guessing the way, not really remembering it, but Fa still got it right.” Foam said, “Oh, right, Phoon, we haven’t thanked Phii Tonfa yet.”    “Oh…yeah, we should.”    “It’s no big deal.”

“I think Fah was happy to do it.” Phii Hill added.

We all looked a bit confused by Phii Hill’s words for a moment. Before anyone could ask anything, Phii Napdao announced that it was time for rehearsal again.    “I’ll go first then, remember, no more sun exposure, understand?” Phii Hill emphasized what he had said before, making me frown slightly. He was talking to me like I was a child, but with his openly concerned look, I softened.

Fine, I won’t argue.

I gave a small nod to show I understood.

Once all the moon faculty members left, leaving just us, Phii Meili, and Johan’s group, a silence fell, and the way my two friends were looking at me made me feel uneasy.

“…”

“Uh…what? Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, perplexed.

“…” Foam and Phoon furrowed their brows, looking at each other, then turned back to me with an interrogative gaze, “What’s up with you?”

“Why me?” I started to sweat, guessing they were going to ask about Phii Hill, but I still didn’t dare to say anything first.

“What was that just now?”

“That tender look from earlier.”

“Plus, that concerned sentence.”

“What’s going on, Ter?”

“I sense something’s not normal here.”

“Something that suggests you’re more than just acquaintances.”

“Don’t keep secrets from your friends.”

“Spill it, Ter.”

“Spill it!”

“Oh, you guys…can’t you ask nicely?” I said to quell the two who seemed intent on extracting something from me, as if I wasn’t going to tell them anything. At this point, I was certainly going to tell them.

“You just won’t say anything.”

“You guys kept asking so rapidly I couldn’t even get a word in.”

“Okay, okay, then tell us. We’ll listen attentively. It’s fine, even if you’ve secretly gotten a girlfriend without telling us. Even though I’m hurt that you have secrets, we’re friends, I can handle it.”

“Foam, would you let me speak first? I’m about to say it.”

“Ha ha, just kidding, go ahead and tell us.”

“Um…it’s like.” I paused to organize my thoughts before recounting. I wasn’t sure where to start, “Phii Meili, could you help me out?” In the end, I sought help from Phii Meili.

Phii Meili sighed softly because she was also eager to hear what I had to say, but now she had to tell the story herself.

“You already know Dr. Hill, right?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon nodded in response, “You know the news, right? From the early posts with the hashtag ‘Dr. Pay-for-Play’, who is the owner of the watch?”

“Oh, I remember, it was all over my feed, everyone’s talking about it. Dr. Hill’s really an everywhere interest.” Phoon said. Foam wasn’t surprised because he always follows these kinds of news, but even Phoon, who usually doesn’t care much for gossip, was talking about it.

“And there’s the latest clip where he rejected Dr. Mild.”

“I saw it this morning, and my faculty friends were sharing it.” Foam added.    “Is it the same person, both the one who posted and the one who said they care more?” Phoon asked.

“Absolutely.” Phii Meili confirmed, “It’s the same person causing all this stir among the fans, the watch owner, and now Hill’s heart owner too.”

“Or could it be…” And then Foam and Phoon both turned to look at me with the same look.

“Holy crap!! That’s peak!!”

“Yeah, really peak.”

“You didn’t tell us!”

“How am I supposed to just go around telling people? Give me some time.” I said. It’s true, isn’t it? I can’t just go around telling everyone that I’m the one Phii Hill posted about, can I?

“Oh man, you, it’s you, my sister spent all day investigating, and it’s you!!” Foam said, holding his head, “Do you know, if they could check the DNA of the person in the photo, they would’ve done it by now. And all those senior friends, they’re super pissed, it’s exhausting just watching.”

“Your sister?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so what? My sister, she’s at this uni too. She’s just one of the fans. You broke her heart, I’m not talking to you now.”    “You’re funny, Foam, what did I do wrong?”

“Kidding, kidding. She loves you, forget about everyone else.”

“That phrase sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Phii Meili turned to tell me, “Forget everyone else, just give your heart to the doctor.”

“What kind of love are we talking about here?” I frowned to hide my embarrassment. Foam and Phoon burst out laughing at my reaction.

“Embarrassed, huh? Ter is embarrassed, hee hee, want me to take a picture for your doctor?” Foam said while making a playful face and pretending to raise his phone, but he actually took a photo.

“Wait, Foam, what are you taking pictures of?!”

“For your doctor, I might get paid ten baht per photo.”

“Dr. Hill probably pays a hundred per photo, for a good shot it could be five hundred.” Phii Meili said with a playful smile, lifting her chin. “That’s what you get with a paying doctor.”

“Really? Then I’m in, Ter, give me the camera.” Phoon was getting involved too? And Foam, are you seriously going to take pictures? Why play such heavy pranks?    “What’s with you guys, Phoon, don’t mess with my camera. Foam, if you’re taking photos like this, you could even snap a video of Jo.” I swatted Phoon’s hand away as he tried to snatch my camera and turned to snark at Foam.

“Really? Then I’ll just take a video of Jo, whoa, his face is turning red now.”

“Ter, let me borrow the camera for a bit.”

“Oh, you guys…” I raised my hand to my forehead, this is exactly why I didn’t want them to know!

“What are you guys playing at?” Johan’s voice cut through, making them stop teasing me immediately. Then, the three doctors moved closer to us since everyone else had left.

“We’re taking photos of Ter, we’ll give them to Dr. Hill.” Foam said, and I looked at him with a glare. The seniors laughed, finding it amusing.

“That’s good, if Hill is paying a hundred or two per photo. If we take ten photos tonight, we’ll have money for dinner.” Arthit said playfully.

“Even Phii Arthit?” I said weakly. Being ganged up on isn’t fun at all T^T.

“I got it now.” I turned towards Phoon’s voice, how did he manage to grab my camera? It was hanging around my neck! “You’re really easy to rob, sweet thief like me.”

“Don’t point out my weaknesses, what if Ter gets mobbed for his camera next time?”

“It’s okay.” Phoon said, “Dr. Hill will come to the rescue, hahaha.”

“You guys are crazy.” I muttered under my breath in annoyance, sticking out my tongue at them, “You’re taking advantage now, just don’t let it be your turn.”    “So, you’re going to take photos of Ter?” Foam asked Phoon. Great, now they’re going to take embarrassing photos of me with my own camera. What are they made of, really?

   “Let’s see.” Phoon raised the camera, getting ready to take a shot, and even Foam turned to watch. I just stood there making a face at the camera, “Your camera works well. Let me borrow it next time.”

“Sure, just don’t take pictures of me, go take your sky pictures.”

“Can you take a photo of Ter for Instagram?”

“No, it doesn’t fit the theme.”

“Next time, have Ter wear sky blue, so he doesn’t break the theme.”

“I’d have to be an avatar then.” I rolled my eyes at them. If I want to fit into Phoon’s Instagram feed, I’d have to go all out.

“Phoon took good pictures of you, though. They look better than the real you.

Would Dr. Hill buy this one, I wonder? It doesn’t even look like Ter.”

“Ugh, that’s enough from you two, give me back the camera.” I said, feeling a bit fed up with being teased. Sometimes you need a break, right? Foam and Phoon made slightly disappointed faces before reluctantly handing back the camera. I deleted the photo Phoon just took. It wasn’t that it was bad, but for some reason, I felt embarrassed, like I was forced into posing. Which, to be fair, I kind of was.

“Delete it from your phone too, Foam.”

“It’s on, I’ll pitch it to the doctor first.”

“Are you serious?” Phoon raised an eyebrow at his friend, “I thought you were just joking around with Ter.”

“Dead serious. If the doctor buys, I’ll take photos every day, could do with the cash.” Foam said, “Might even sneak some shots when you’re in the bathroom.”

“Creep.” I couldn’t help saying, even though I knew he was joking.

“By the way, are those friends of Phii Hill?” Foam whispered. I glanced over; it seemed like the seniors weren’t paying much attention to us, either chatting or playing with their phones. I nodded in acknowledgment, “Wow, they’re all hot, did they recruit based on looks or what? Right, Phoon?”

“Huh, oh, yeah.” Phoon replied mechanically, his gaze lingering on Tonfa for a moment before looking away.

It might be nothing, but I sensed something in Typhoon’s eyes when he looked at Tonfa. It was kind of like…when I used to secretly watch Phii Hill. Back when I had a one-sided crush on him.

But then again, maybe I was just imagining things.

“Phii Hill is really handsome, isn’t he? Never thought he’d actually go for you.” Foam couldn’t help but bring up the same topic again. I asked for a break from the teasing, “So why did he go for you, did you know him before?”

“Yeah, spill everything, man.” Phoon added. I looked around; Phii Meili was sitting closest, but she was now busy with her phone. The other seniors were as usual, not interested in us. So, I decided to tell them the whole story, which wasn’t much different from what I’d told North and Phii Meili.    “Oh, that’s how it is. What about your sister?” Foam asked.

“Christy said she’s come to terms with it. They’ve sorted things out.”

“No, no, your sister, does she have a boyfriend yet?”

“If my sister is going to date someone, it definitely won’t be you.” I said.    “Harsh.”

“Definitely, I’m protective.” How could I not be protective over my only sister? Honestly, I’m also worried about Christy having a boyfriend. She’s so cute, I’ve turned into someone who brags about his sister, but I’m absolutely going to keep Foam at arm’s length. He’s totally untrustworthy.

“So tomorrow, when the page comes for the interview, everyone at the university will know.”

“Hmm.” I paused, “I kind of don’t want them to know, actually.” I said. I’m a bit scared too, just the star club knowing about it already leads to some negative comments. I wonder what it’ll be like if everyone knows.

I say I won’t care, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can handle it. My confidence is wavering.

“Nong Ter, are you worried?” Phii Meili turned to ask, “I could tell Dr. Hill to cancel the interview. We can do it tomorrow instead.”

“Is that possible? The page was going to donate a lot of money.”

“Of course. If Dr. Hill says he won’t do it, who could stop him? Even Phii

Napdao wouldn’t dare force him, he doesn’t care about anyone, you’ve seen that.” Phii Meili said, “If Nong Ter just says he’s not okay with it, Dr. Hill won’t do it for anyone else.”

Hearing Phii Meili say that, I couldn’t help but smile without realizing it.

It feels good to know that someone cares about me.

“Dr. Hill is worried just like you, you know. Before this, he even came to ask me if he made the right decision to make his intentions clear to everyone.”    “I told him he did, because if it’s unclear, it would be a hundred times more painful.”

“When he asked, his eyes were so hesitant…even though Dr. Hill is usually incredibly self-confident.”

I was speechless at Phii Meili’s words. That was the time Phii Hill said he had asked Phii Meili for advice, after I was insulted by Phii Tun. It wasn’t just me who was hurt by that incident.

Phii Hill was also affected in the same way.

“No need to cancel, it’ll be fine.” I said. It should be fine…Phii Hill would probably make sure everything doesn’t get worse, but I’m not sure if I can watch the interview without my heart giving out. I might need to buy some smelling salts beforehand, sigh, stay strong, Ter.

“Love stinks.” Foam said, sticking out his tongue, “So, are you guys going to be a couple?”

“You’re asking too soon, aren’t you? What’s the rush?” Phoon said.

“And now Hill is this serious about it.”

“Give Ter some time, they’ve just started understanding each other. Both pairs have been through a lot of pain for a year now.”    Well, well, Phoon does know how to talk.

“And do you still have anything unresolved?”

“It’s just about him saying he’s liked me for five years. But I’ve only known Phii

Hill for a few years, and then…when we had to part ways.” I paused to think for a moment, “Phii Hill promised he would get in touch again.”

Yes…I remember. After that incident, we had to separate, Phii Hill promised to contact me, promised not to leave me behind, but days, weeks, months passed, and there was no sign of him. Then after another month, I decided to change all my contact details. By then, Phii Hill probably realized it was too late. Now, he’s trying to make amends.

   “I want to know…the reason he disappeared.”

I just want to know the reason, that’s all. There might have been a misunderstanding, it’s okay. Just let time prove everything on its own.

   “You want to know. Why don’t you just ask?” Foam said, “He’ll tell you anyway, won’t he?”

“Wait a minute. I haven’t had the chance to ask yet.” I retorted to Foam. Oh man, why does Foam seem so irritating today?

Rrrrrrrrr

“Pim is calling again.” Johan raised his phone. Me and Phii Meili turned to look, seeing an unsaved number calling, “What should we do?” Johan turned to ask me.    I pointed to myself with a puzzled look, why would someone named Pim call and they’re asking me?

“Yes?”

“Should I answer?”

“Uh…” I looked at Phii Meili as if seeking her opinion. Foam and Phoon still didn’t know the context, and Phii Meili made an ambiguous face, leaving it up to me. The call from someone named Pim must certainly be about Phii Thanmild. I was a bit worried about Phii Thanmild’s threats to harm herself. So, I might as well answer to check on her condition.

“Yes…you can answer.”

Johan answered and put it on speaker for everyone to hear. I listened intently.

“Hello, Jo, is Hill with you?”    “He’s not here.”

“Oh, not taking a break yet?”

“He’s already had his break. We’ve started rehearsal again.”

“Did you tell Hill about Mild?”

“I told him.”

“What did Hill say? Is he coming to check on her?”

“Uh…” Phii Johan hesitated slightly, looking at me for guidance. I shook my head slightly, indicating I didn’t know, but Phii Meili whispered to just tell her.

“Hill probably won’t come.”

“Uh…why not?”

“Come on, let me talk to her directly.” Phii Meili seemed to have had enough.

She snatched the phone from Phii Johan and started speaking, “What’s up, Pim?”

“Who’s this?”

“It’s Meili.”

“Meili, oh…what about Jo?”

“I’ll talk to you, Jo doesn’t really want to chat.” Phii Johan looked a bit baffled after Phii Meili told the other side that he didn’t want to talk.

“Why doesn’t he want to talk?”

“Maybe he’s just lazy…doesn’t want to talk to someone he doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean by not knowing? I used to date Jo.”

“Oh, really…Does Dr. Jo know he dated you, Pim?” That comment made Phii Johan’s jaw drop slightly, not expecting Phii Meili to be so blunt.

“…Uh, well, forget it then, why hasn’t Hill come to check on Mild? She hasn’t gotten any better, I called half an hour ago, right? Why is he taking so long? What if something happens to Mild?” After that sentence from the person on the other end of the line, Phii Meili rolled her eyes upwards several times before letting out a soft sigh.

“Then can I ask, why does the doctor need to go check on another doctor?”    “Well…aren’t they flirting? Then when that freshman came in, Hill changed completely.”

Huh! Flirting, are they?

“Men change their minds quickly like this, and Jo is no different.”    “Why are you bringing me into this?” Phii Johan whispered irritably to Phii Tonfa.

“Calm down, Jo.” Phii Tonfa tried to soothe the agitated one.

“Mild said she understands, but she feels it’s unfair. She’s tried so hard, but then this freshman comes in and doesn’t have to do anything, and Hill only cares about the freshie without caring about Mild at all. I just want Hill to come and check on Mild, that’s all.”

“Hmm, did Mild really say that?” Phii Meili asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

“Yes.”

“Can I talk to Mild for a moment?”

“Um…I don’t know, Mild, can you? Meili wants to talk.”

The voice on the other end asked, and we could still hear Phii Thanmild sobbing softly through the phone, “Mild said she needs some time.”

“Okay, I’m not siding with anyone here, but I want you to calm down and listen first. One, Dr. Hill and Dr. Mild are not flirting or dating. Two, Dr. Hill didn’t change after meeting the freshman kid, he was always like this. Three…the freshman didn’t come after Mild, it’s the other way around.”

“Right, Dr. Hill said five years, right?” Phii Meili turned to whisper to me. I nodded in response. That’s what Phii Hill said.

“That’s not true!” Phii Thanmild’s voice interjected loudly, causing us all to jump slightly since the speaker was on, “Nong Ter met Hill when he was in his sixth year of high school. But I’ve known Hill since my fourth year of high school, Nong Ter came two years after me, that’s why I say it’s not fair. I’ve been trying to get close to Hill for so long. Then suddenly this Ter comes out of nowhere, huff, where did he come from? To take everything so easily, sob, scream!”    “Mild, calm down, don’t shout, take a deep breath, calm down, Sweetie, help support her, oh, it’s okay now.”

The scream from the other end of the line made everyone stunned, including me.

Phii Thanmild must have lost control of her emotions.

“No.” I decided to take the phone from Phii Meili’s hand and spoke, part of me was hesitant, but another part felt compelled to speak out.

“Phii Mild, it was me who came first.”

“Uh…what did you say? Hic.”

“…”

“Phii Hill said…”

“…”

“Phii Hill said loves me.”

“…”

“It’s been that way for five years now.”

“Sob, no, it’s not true. It’s not true! You’re lying, you said you never knew Hill before, you’re lying, hic, sob.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Sob, and then Ter left Hill, leaving him to suffer alone! Do you even know that! And now, when things get better, you come back to take Hill away again, that’s too cruel. Sob.”

“Left him?” I echoed Phii Thanmild’s words, puzzled, “Phii Hill was the one who left me.”

“Hmph. You don’t know anything, do you? Hic, and you still have the nerve to say you like Hill!”

“What…what are you talking about?” I tried to recall, wondering if what Phii Thanmild was saying was related to what Phii Hill would tell me, but why did it not feel like it was?

“Stupid! You met Hill’s grandfather, didn’t you? Can’t you even figure that out? How could Hill fall for someone so stupid!!” Phii Thanmild’s voice shifted from sobbing to full-blown anger. However, I wasn’t too concerned with her insult. I was more interested in what she had said.

   Phii Hill’s grandfather…

   Yes, I met him.

   And when we met…it wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.

   “But…Phii Hill said it was all sorted out. And his grandfather even sent me an apology gift.” At that time, Phii Hill’s grandfather had misunderstood, thinking I was after Phii Hill for money, but Phii Hill said they had cleared up the misunderstanding. His grandfather even sent a large package of sweets as an apology.

“Ha, you naive kid!!”

And then she hung up, leaving everyone confused. I was even more baffled. What did Phii Hill’s grandfather have to do with all this? He seemed to have apologized, right? Or was there more to it?

Before I could let my thoughts run wild, Phii Meili gently patted my shoulder to bring me back.

“Are you okay, Nong Ter?”

“No, Phii Meili.” my voice began to tremble. My heart was now entirely shaken, feeling as if it was becoming vulnerable, “I don’t understand what Phii Mild told Phii Hill’s grandfather. I mean, he seemed to understand before, didn’t he? Is there something Phii Hill hasn’t told me? And why hasn’t he told me anything? If it’s that big of a deal, why don’t I have the right to know?”

“If it’s about grandfather…you could still talk before, right?”

Because I’ve met Phii Hill’s grandfather since we first got to know each other…if there was an issue, why wasn’t I told before we had problems? I started to think in circles, with Phii Thanmild’s words, our story, everything was starting to blend together. I was confused to the point where I couldn’t grasp anything.

“Ter.” Phii Meili said with a gentle tone to comfort me, “I don’t know what happened…but what could be the reason for a man to bear all the pain alone?”

“If it’s not…”

“…”

“To protect…the one he loves the most.”

And with those words from Phii Meili, a phrase that Hill once told me resurfaced in my mind.

“I’ll try my best.”

   “Huh…try what?”

   “Well, with the problems that will arise from now on.”

   If that’s the same problem…are you planning to fight this battle alone again?    “That’s…not fair to you, isn’t it?” I whispered to myself, trying to suppress some overwhelming emotions.

   Right now…I really hate myself.

   

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