MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 52: Exam Over, Time for Celebration
[Bohn]
Sigh
Today is the last day of exams, in twenty minutes we’ll be in the exam room. Ah…time flies so fast, it feels like just yesterday was Buhn’s birthday. In the blink of an eye, the semester is almost over.
I can say that the exams I’ve been through…wow! Holy shit, they were super hard, extremely difficult. Yesterday was tough enough, but today is even tougher. I can feel the radiation of difficulty even before seeing the exam paper. The professors are just too good at making exams without regard for our brain capacity…
I thought I was worn out, but seeing Duen, I admit defeat. Dark circles under his eyes, red eyes, pale skin. He’s even lost weight, despite promising to take care of his health. But it’s okay, my friends look no different. This is how it is, medical students, when exams are near, they all turn into walking corpses, ha ha. We’ll get through this together.
“They said to wake up early to study before the exam, so your brain would be bright.”
“Did you do it?” I asked Boss who was sitting next to me, slightly surprised that he brought this up. Normally, Boss doesn’t talk about this kind of thing before an exam; he usually says things like ‘I’m definitely going to fail,’ ‘Should I just give up or what?’, stuff like that rather than…
“Yeah, I did it.” We stopped reading and turned our attention to him instead. Merk and Bom even threw their lecture notes aside, King dropped his pencil, Tee had a tamarind in his mouth, and Bom choked on dust. Tang and I looked at him in disbelief.
“…No way. You’re not the Boss I know.” Tee shook his head as if he couldn’t accept it. Sometimes you’re over the top, my friend Tee, and what’s with bringing tamarind? Okay, someone might have brought it…but trust me, they didn’t drag an entire branch like Pathawin did. He said, “My neighbor planted tamarinds, and I saw she never harvested them, I felt sorry that the tamarinds might rot on the tree…so I brought the branch here to eat.” wow, if you’re going to steal, you bring the whole branch, huh? She doesn’t know at all.
“And what’s the Boss that we know like?”
“Mischievous, showy, irritating, dog-like behavior, vulgar language.”
“You bastard, Tee, you’re just insulting me.” The insulted one protested, but not too loudly; if he were louder, he’d definitely get sent to take the exam in the middle of the field.
“So you really did it, how bright are you?” Bom shook the arm of the mischievous wife. I smelled something strange since Boss said he studied at dawn…
“Yeah.”
“Wow, you should have told us before the exam. Why did we only find out on the last day?”
“Bright…bright bye.” I knew it would end like this.
“You bastard, haha.” We all pushed his head playfully; what’s this ‘bright bye’ of yours? I think he just didn’t want his friends to be stressed. He seems unreliable, but when friends are in trouble or distressed, Boss is always the first one to help.
“Help me, King, please, ha.” But in many cases, he needs someone else to help first…
“How can I help?” King yawned, covering his mouth. He’s always like this. Seems useless but reliable, why are the people around me all like this, different on the outside from what they are inside…oh, there’s one person who’s consistent both inside and out, damn Bihn, evil is just evil.
“Anything that helps me pass the exam…can I suck out your brains?” After saying that, he raised a straw to poke at the artist’s head. Where did you get that size of straw from, could easily pass through a boiled egg.
“Damn.”
“Why do you top every subject when you don’t do anything?” Bom asked King, with his chin resting on his hand. It’s true, King never does anything for good luck before exams. No amulets, no offerings to the spirits, no feeding child spirits, nothing beyond sitting and watching birds and trees outside the window.
“By tutoring you guys, I review the lessons again, so I remember them.”
“Damn, one shot, two cat fleas…” If you’re going to change it like that, why not stick with the original proverb, Boss?
“…If you think you can’t do it, you definitely won’t. Think, ‘I can do it, come on.’“ King, the divine one, smiled at us. God, I feel like he has an angelic aura…Oh, it’s just the sunlight, sorry.
“Thinking like that will make it happen?”
“Ugh. Not sure, ha ha ha.”
“Damn you.”
“But at least you tried. Whatever the result, you should be proud, right?”
“Caption by the divine King.” I stopped caring about others. Duen is also about to take his exam. I should send him a message to give some encouragement.
Bon Ss: Susuna!
It didn’t take long for the chat to show “Read”. Are you glued to your phone now, Duen? Don’t let me find out you have a lover, I’ll throw both of you off a cliff…
Duen: You too [sends a picture of himself with a peace sign] Bon Ss: I feel like I’ve gained a mountain of motivation, kisses.
Duen: Crazy.
“Smiling big and small, so annoying…If I had a wife, I’d show her off to you guys morning, noon, night, before bed, after meals.” Tang made a face at me, probably won’t get a wife, heh heh.
“Yeah, me too, I’d stick her with elephant glue on my back and walk around with her, you bastard! I’m so annoyed with Bohn.”
“Oh…what about when going to the bathroom?”
“…Yeah, we’ll figure that out later.”
“We can enter the exam room now…no cheating, okay?” No cheating, professor, we’re all about hard work and dedication.
It didn’t take long for the exam papers to be in front of us. Let me brace myself before opening them. Is there some spell on the exam room door? Every time I walk through, I feel like my memory gets erased…nothing left in my brain at all.
My friends and I exchanged looks before opening our exam papers. We weren’t planning to cheat; it’s just a tradition to open the exam papers together to avoid stress. Have you ever felt your heart drop when you see the person next to you flipping through the exam quickly, worrying why they’re going so fast…or am I too slow? Then you rush to finish before your friends, even if it means making mistakes.
Alright!
I’m ready. Let’s open it, guys!!
Blink!
“Ugh!…”
“Damn…”
“Oh, my…”
“Hold me, I feel faint…”
“Smelling salts…where are the smelling salts?”
“…”
“…I’m discouraged.” I mumbled before wiping my sweat. This is killing me, might as well just die, sigh…Bohn leaving didn’t help, let’s just do it.
“Would the exam paper be sad that I read it but didn’t answer?”
“Oh, what’s this. I don’t understand at all.”
“Forget it, guys, it’s over…” King said, patting his friends on the back. You can say that, you god, when was the last time you scored below eighty percent?
“It’s the holidays now, man!!”
“I’ll just be lazy, rotting at home until I’m mushy, woo!”
“I want to travel, where should we go? I want to go far, how about Laos?
Lao girls are cute, I like them. Or maybe-”
“We have to go to the volunteer camp.” The quiet husband interrupted his friend’s daydreaming. Ugh, with that look on his face, he must have really forgotten. I didn’t forget, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.
“Right, I forgot.”
“When are we going?”
“In one week.”
“Chill! I’ve got a whole week to be lazy.”
“In two days, we need to prepare the food…”
“Yeah…I forgot again.”
“Oh, two days is good! Watch, I won’t do anything stupid when I wake up.” Sure, if you really do that, we might need to prepare an ambulance and a hearse for the bodies.
We talked a bit more before parting ways to go home, leaving me to wait for Duen at the front of his faculty. Tonight, we’re celebrating the end of exams at King’s house. We chose his place because his parents are usually not home, and King invited Duen’s group too, saying Tingting’s last prank was hilarious.
Phii isn’t joking…he’s lamenting his life.
Ping!
Is that Duen?!
Bihn, Whose Body isn’t Black But Has a Huge Mustache: Bohn, I’ve finished my exam!
“Damn, Bihn…” Why do you have to message via Facebook, your name there is pitiful, when will you change it? This requires teamwork with Buhn…
Ping!
Buhn, Whose Body isn’t Black But Has a Huge Mustache: How’s my new name on FB, Bohn? It matches with Bihn’s, you want one too…but you have to think of it yourself, it took me ages to come up with this one.
Let’s stop talking…
“Bohn!!”
Duen looked like he was about to cry while running down the stairs. Aren’t you embarrassed in front of others? The whole faculty is watching.
“What’s wrong?” I walked over to pat his head. I don’t like seeing him like this; maybe I need to fatten him up. I want him to be as chubby as an ice cream tub so I can hug him properly.
“I’ve finished my exams. I’ve finished my exams…I’m so happy, damn.”
“Yeah…”
“Hey, Ting, hello.” I waved to greet Duen’s close friend. These two look no different from Duen; Ting has lost that Medicine faculty star vibe, but she’ll bounce back to his usual self soon, I believe.
“Sorry, Phii…just kidding.”
“Don’t forget our appointment, at King’s house at nine.”
“I won’t forget, bro, what should I bring?”
“Nothing, we’ll handle it this time.” Last time, we made the juniors cook and even had them wash the dishes, this time we’ll take care of it ourselves, juniors.
“Handle it means…?” Tingting asked in a soft voice. Not sure if she’s too tired to speak or what, she’s actually very pretty, why doesn’t she have guys chasing her?
“We’ll cook ourselves.”
“Ha!”
“Merk and Bom can cook.” You can see they’re worried about something. Last time, Boss cut the vegetables into flying saucer shapes; some pieces were so small they were practically dust, others so big they couldn’t be put in your mouth. Your wife has no sense of moderation, Merk.
“Oh, then we’ll go first, I need to take King to buy books.”
“Okay.”
“In two days, you have to prepare stuff for the camp, right, Bohn?” Duen asked after we got into Buhn’s Mercedes. I haven’t driven the Porsche lately; actually, that’s my favorite, but Dad told me to drive this one sometimes so it doesn’t get dusty. Buhn is crazy, he begged his parents to buy it, but then he just left it to gather dust, I’ll slap him.
“Yeah.” I nodded before driving off. We decided to go straight to the god’s house because Duen and I have nothing to prepare or any errands.
“Do we have to sleep at the faculty like last time?”
“We’ll sleep there…want to sleep together?” I gave a sly smile, if you want to sleep together, just say so, I told you to move in together.
“Ha!”
“…”
Zoom!
“Argh!! Merk, you splashed oil on me again. Did you do that on purpose?!” The mischievous wife rubbed his arm, glaring angrily at the quiet husband. Trust me, Merk is doing it on purpose, I saw you positioning the pork at an angle before placing it, and every time it’s near Boss.
“Not on purpose…just an accident.”
“Oh, an accident…’ it is an accident I wanted to play a prank on you,’ that’s it! Are you going to say the pork oil accidentally splashed on me thirteen times?!”
“Not at all.”
“?”
Hiss
“It was fourteen, actually.”
“Damn, Merk, you think because you’re my favorite, you can do anything?!” Boss pointed an accusing finger while rubbing the fresh, hot burn mark. Seriously, Boss, if you admit it, I’ll call you a buffalo.
“Why are you mad…it hit the right spot so it splashed on the right person.”
“Fine, I surrender.” Okay, let me introduce you, this bastard is named Buffalo, he’s my close friend.
“Phii Bom, this one is really tasty.” Tang said, pointing at the tom yum kung. Right now, we’re eating both hot pot and rice, Merk and Bom cooked so much food we’re sure we won’t be able to finish it all. Look at all the things they made, there’s so much.
“Thank you, I’m flattered to have a cute guy compliment me.” …Before, I might have thought you weren’t suitable for pursuit, but now it seems okay if the other person is a cute young man.
“Ha ha.”
[Duenhaw]
“Duen, do you want some shrimp? I’ll peel it for you.” Since we started with the hot pot, I haven’t even touched my chopsticks. It’s the person next to me, he’s been both serving and feeding me until I start to wonder if I’m disabled or something. What’s going on, is he taking care of me too much today…no, it’s more like he wants to fatten me up.
“Bohn, I can eat by myself.” I leaned back when he offered me a perfectly peeled shrimp. It’s not that I’m embarrassed, but I feel awkward in front of others.
“No, I want to feed you, open your mouth.”
“I’m full.”
“Don’t. You’ve lost so much weight, you need to eat more.” See, he really wants to make me fat.
“Just a little…Ugh! You jerk.” (Translation: You bastard, Bohn). I hit his shoulder a couple of times, the shrimp isn’t big, but he shoved five of them in at once, oh my, I almost choked.
“Eat a lot, okay? I’ll feed you, just tell me what else you want.” Why do you have to use such a soft, sweet voice…my heart.
“…” I turned my face away when I felt my face getting hot again. It must be because of Phii King’s charcoal stove.
“Duen, what do you want to eat? I’ll feed you.”
“…I can eat by myself.”
“But I want to feed you.”
“No, I want to eat by myself.” I reached for the chopsticks to grab some pork, but my savage boyfriend blocked me with his chopsticks. Ugh. You might as well confront me directly!
“Are you going to let me feed you properly, or should I force feed you?” “Do I look scared of you?” I asked teasingly.
“No.”
“Then-”
“Just for now…you know I can make you scared, right?”
“…”
Damn, Bohn, you’re so harsh!! In the end, I had to let him feed me like a mother bird feeding her chick. It’s convenient though, I just tell him what I want, and he gives me everything except vegetables and anything healthy, ‘Don’t eat this stuff, it’ll make you skinny, eat pork instead, ah,’ what are you even saying?
“Phii Tang, I want to eat that fish ball over there.” Phu pointed somewhere on the grill. Are you daring to use your senior like that, Phu?
“Where? This one?” Phii Tang pointed with his chopsticks at a fish ball next to a shrimp.
“No, no, the white one.”
“They’re all white. Are you messing with me?” Indeed, all the fish balls are white, there’s no other color. There were egg-colored ones initially, but they’re gone now.
“I’m not messing around.”
“Wait, just take this one, they’re the same.” Phii Tang placed a fish ball into his junior’s bowl, which already had plenty. Why not finish what’s in your bowl first, Phu?
“They’re not the same, bro, the level of preference is different. It’s like with people, if it’s not the right one, it’s not the right one, but if it’s the right person…it’s always right.”
“Wow!!”
“A silly pun in the middle of a hot pot gathering.”
“I’m just sitting here, and they’ve already used all the lines to flirt with girls.”
“Sigh…I don’t know what to say, these guys should be my boyfriends. Not each other’s Phii-Nong…what kind of life is this where I as a girl have to watch handsome guys flirt with each other almost every day, what’s with this pinkish-purple aura and sparkling, cute charm, go ahead, flirt to your heart’s content. You should do the same, Tang, choose from Phii Tee or Phii Bom, there are still some left. Don’t feel sorry for me, I understand…”
“Really good.”
“Really good, my ass!! God never has mercy on a small, dark-eyed monkey named Ting! Sending so many friends my way, all good-looking, but they end up eating each other, leaving me, this little monkey, all alone…it is sad that you all choose penises and leave vaginas in the middle of the road, huh.”
I want to find her a girlfriend…