MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 5: Perspective of Young-Master

I’m a turtle named “Young-Master”—not “young master” as in a noble person, but “young master” meaning shy.

No need to know my age; let’s just say I’m as big as my owner’s palm now.

I was rescued by Grandpa from a red basin when I was little, then moved to a new home in a clear fish tank filled with beautiful decorations. I’m happy playing with pebbles. I like eating vegetables, insects, and small fish.

I love it when my owner takes me out to stroll on the balcony, soaking in the gentle sunlight and cool breeze.

My owner’s name is Diew—meaning “alone”—a gentle, kind-hearted person with a soft, pleasant voice.

I love my boss because my boss is a quiet person. My boss never raises their voice at me because they know I get startled easily. My boss often spends time reading books, listening to soft music, sometimes drawing, watching movies, and playing with me gently. My boss is my only friend. My life is peaceful—eating and sleeping, living in a small, quiet world.

But one day, a giant monster suddenly invaded my boss’s world. It’s huge, loud, and loves startling both my boss and me. I nicknamed it “The Giant.” The Giant, bigger than my boss, loves making loud noises and glaring at me. Worse yet, The Giant likes teasing my boss. And today is another day when The Giant sits staring at me in front of my fish tank, making annoying faces. Some days, it sticks out its tongue or rolls its eyes at me. I glare back, refusing to back down.

“Diew.”

“Huh?”

“Why is Young Master staring at me like that?”

My boss walks over and stands next to The Giant, bending down to look at me. Just seeing my boss’s face makes me instinctively wiggle my front legs in greeting.

“Is Young Master wondering what you are?”

“Hey, are you sneakily insulting me?”

“No, not at all.”

My boss’s soft hand reaches out and scoops me up. I slightly tuck my neck into my shell out of instinct—not because I’m afraid my boss will hurt me, but because I’m scared of The Giant.

“Want to hold him?”

My boss offers me toward The Giant. As soon as it reaches out to take me, I quickly pull my head back into my shell. I don’t associate with someone who teases my boss.  “Oh, is Young Master scared of me?”

I’m not scared. I just don’t like you! 

“Hmm, maybe he’s not used to you. He doesn’t usually tuck his head in when he’s with me,” my boss says.

When my boss pulls their hand back, I slowly poke my head out. 

“Oh, there he is!”

Then my boss offers me to The Giant again. I quickly retreat back into my shell. 

“Wait, no, that’s not it.”

“I think Young Master is definitely scared of me,” The Giant says. My boss’s laughter cheers me up. My boss places me in a clear plastic box, sets it on the bed, and sits down beside it. The Giant plops down on the other side of the box.

The Giant leans over to look at me in the plastic box, reaching a finger toward my shell as if to scratch it. I quickly poke my head out and pretend I’m going to nip at it—not that I’d actually bite, just to tease.

The Giant flinches and yanks its finger back fast.

“Hey! Young Master was going to bite me!”

“You have to be gentle. Turtles get startled easily,” my boss says.

My boss takes The Giant’s finger and slowly guides it toward me. I don’t want it touching me at all, but I’ll let it slide for one day. If I accidentally bit and ended up nipping my boss, I’d definitely be hated.

The Giant’s big finger touches my shell, guided by my boss’s hand.

The pressure isn’t too heavy, and it feels oddly soothing.

“It’s hard as a rock!”

“Well, it’s a shell, how could it be soft?”

“But this is a turtle, why is it soft?” The giant pulled his hand back and instead poked my master’s cheek.

It’s a pity that in this life, I was born a turtle. If I had been born a dog, I’d bite that giant for daring to touch my master too much. What if my master accidentally chopped off his hand and died? What would I do then?

I don’t really like the giant. From the first time I saw him, I felt an instant dislike. The giant always messes with my master, leaving my master with hardly any time to play with me.

But the reason I let him get close to my master is because the giant once did me a favor.

Back then, I was sick. My master took me to the vet, but it wasn’t my master who came to pick me up—it was the giant.

The giant put me in a plastic box. He didn’t dare close the lid because he was afraid I couldn’t breathe. It was pouring rain at the time, and the giant hugged the box tightly, running to find shelter because he didn’t want the raindrops to hit me.

“Sorry, young-master, it’s raining. Let’s take shelter for a bit, okay?”

“Are you cold? Do turtles even get cold?”

“We’ll be home soon. Just wait a little longer.”

“Are you scared, young-master? You’ll see Diew soon, okay?”

He’s just a loud, oversized human. Turtles aren’t that afraid of rain.

What I’m scared of is the sound of thunder.

But having the giant by my side in a moment like that was better than being alone, I suppose.

Since then, I’ve toned down my dislike for the giant a little. At first, I wanted to bite him every time he got close, but I never really meant it. I just didn’t like how he kept meddling with my master.

After playing for a while, my master put me back in the aquarium. Before long, the giant started bothering my master again. The giant loves messing with my master’s body and making my master cry out in pain.

“Phii Godt…”

“Good boy.”

If anything happens to my master, I swear I’ll crawl out and bite his throat out.

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the glass door. I slowly stretched my neck out from my shell. The room was pitch dark, with only the faint light glowing near the aquarium.

Is my master asleep?

I hate it when it rains.

Before I could finish the thought, a flash of light slipped through the curtains. I quickly pulled my head back into my shell in fear.

I’m terrified of thunder. Every time it thunders, my master puts me in a box and lets me sleep beside him because my aquarium is near the glass door. I need the gentle morning sunlight, but when it rains, I hear the thunder loud and clear.

Time passed, and I waited and waited, but my master didn’t get up to take me to sleep with him. I trembled inside my shell. The rain showed no sign of letting up, and what started as a low rumble turned into a deafening clap of thunder. I hurriedly moved to tap the pebbles in my tank, making a clinking sound to let my master know. He might be fast asleep, but I was so scared.

Please, let my master wake up soon. 

Creak.

I heard movement from the bed through the darkness. I scrambled with joy, thinking my master was coming to take me to sleep with him. A shadowy figure approached, but then it turned out to be the giant’s face peering at me—not my master.

“Scared, huh?”

The giant looked at me for a moment. He walked over to the glass door and adjusted the curtains to block out any flashes of lightning. Then he came back to the aquarium, frowning as he thought.

“What does Diew usually do when it thunders?”

The giant didn’t go to wake up my master, but it seemed like he knew what to do. He walked away and returned with a plastic box. He placed the box on the table next to the fish tank, moved his hand toward me, then pulled back as if he’d forgotten something.

“Don’t bite me, young-master. It’s close to the glass here, and it’s loud. Better to sleep on the bed.”

The giant’s palm gently scooped me up. I cautiously tucked my neck into my shell a little, and the giant placed me in the plastic box softly while giving a happy smile.

“You’re cute, young-master.”

I’ve always been cute, obviously.

The plastic box was carried and placed beside the bed. I heard my master mumbling softly.

“Young-master, huh?”

“Yeah, I saw young-master was scared, so I brought him to sleep here.”

“How did you know to bring him here?”

The giant turned to hug my master.

“Because I’m awesome.”

“Yeah, awesome.”

“Give me a reward then.”

The giant started fussing over my master again.

“Phii Godt… I’m sleepy.”

“But I’m not sleepy anymore. Young-master woke me up.”

“Thanks, really. I was too exhausted to get up and bring young-master to sleep with me.”

“Do we have to do this every time it rains heavily?”

“Yeah, but if we put the fish tank here, it won’t get any sunlight.”

“So cute, huh.”

“So, young-master didn’t bite you anymore?”

“Nope, I told young-master to behave, or I’d bite him instead.”

The giant rambled on.

I tucked my head into my shell. The sound of thunder, now quieter, let me sleep peacefully. Today, I’ll just ignore whatever the giant’s doing with my master because the giant was nice today.

But on any other day, I wouldn’t let it slide. 

END

 

   MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

 

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 4: Rabbit Phii Godt named this trip: ‘Diew’s New Beautiful World’

After naming it, I smacked him until his back was bruised.

He was acting like Aladdin and Jasmine, for sure.

This was my first time traveling abroad, and Phii Godt chose for me to start with Japan.

Besides me and Phii Godt, there were also Phii Wan and Phii Beert who came along.

The main reason Phii Godt wanted to come on this trip was that there was a grand, star-studded One-Piece exhibition in Japan, celebrating some kind of anniversary that I didn’t know much about. Let’s just say Phii Godt was incredibly happy about it. After the exhibition, Phii Godt continued to the One-Piece theme park, the pirate amusement park he always wanted to visit but never had the chance because Phii Ton wouldn’t go. Once inside the park, Phii Godt put on a Luffy hat and ran around everywhere, not resting for even a minute.

Phii Godt, it’s like he used all the money he saved up all year to splurge on One Piece collectibles. The price of each figure he bought and sent back home made me almost faint, but since it was his happiness, I didn’t stop him.

The second reason was that Phii Godt wanted to broaden my horizons and show me the outside world.

Ever since I graduated, I went back to work with my grandfather in Phuket, meeting Phii Godt only once a month because we were both busy with work. Phii Godt quit his old job to work with Phii Ton and also took on freelance gigs like modeling and starring in music videos, gaining many fans.

The freelance work of Phii Godt and Phii Ton involves making travel videos, but this time with me, it wasn’t for work.

Phii Godt said this time was for a ‘date.’

We’ve been dating for over three years. I’ve been on hundreds of dates with Phii Godt. He holds the belief that every time we meet, it’s a date. He wants to make every day feel like the first day of our relationship.

Sweeter than this would be Godzilla melting sugar.

Yesterday, we spent the whole day with One Piece, so today we’re heading out of the city to spend time with nature.

Okunoshima Island, that’s where we’re heading.

I stood admiring the beautiful view at the dock, waiting for the boat to arrive, closing my eyes to breathe in the fresh air. The colors of Japan; there’s something about them that you can’t look away from.

Normally, I would be content just looking at pictures on a computer screen.

But experiencing it in real life is a whole different story.

The colors of the houses and buildings aren’t flashy but rather warm tones that give a fluffy, all-encompassing feeling.

The sound of the wind passing by my ears, the hair fluttering with the breeze, the chill on my skin. Now I understand why dogs love to stick their heads out of car windows when driving fast; the wind on your face and ears feels incredibly refreshing. The air is quite cold but not to the point of snow falling. Since getting off the plane, I haven’t even broken a sweat.

The weather today is nice. So, I wore an oversized white T-shirt with fairly thick fabric. Phii Godt said that I look cute in this style, and after he complimented me once, my closet got filled with oversized T-shirts.

Who bought them, you ask? That would be Phii Godt.

The truth is, he doesn’t want me to wear tight clothes because he’s possessive. So, I got back at him by buying oversized shirts for him, and he wears them easily because he thinks he looks good in anything. Thus, we’ve inadvertently become an “oversized couple.”

The weather today is quite chilly, so I layered with a thick, soft, light brown knitted cardigan I just bought. At first, I didn’t think it would keep me this warm since knitted cardigans have holes for air to pass through, but surprisingly, this cardigan keeps me warmer than a regular winter coat. For the lower half, I’m wearing long jeans and white sneakers for mobility, as I heard there’s cycling on Rabbit Island.

Click

I stood there with my eyes closed, taking in the air for a while when I heard the sound of a shutter. I turned to look at Phii Godt who had lowered his camera, his beautiful eyes fixed on me almost without blinking. Since getting off the plane, he’s taken hundreds of photos of me because I don’t like being photographed; Phii Godt resorts to taking candid shots, and he doesn’t intend to show them to anyone. He said he wants to keep them to look at when he misses me.

“You look so cute dressed like this.”

The owner of the deep voice came to stand beside me. He shook the bag of carrots and cabbage that we would feed to the rabbits to show me.

“Lucky it’s not festival season, so there’s plenty.”

I held Phii Godt’s hand, intertwining our fingers without any gap, his hand always warm while mine was ice-cold.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve stopped caring much about how others look at us. I only care about Phii Godt’s gaze and the words of those close to us. That’s why when Phii Godt started working in the entertainment industry, it became normal for me.

I just give him his space when he’s working, I don’t interfere. Phii Godt understands this well, and he never mixes work with our personal life. When we go out together, he knows how to behave.

But now we’re abroad, and right now, I want to hold Phii Godt’s hand.

“Are you cold?”

I shook my head slightly.

“I like this kind of weather, it’s pleasantly cool.”

Phii Godt turned to look at me and was silent for a while before he set down the camera hanging around his neck and squeezed my nose, making me wrinkle my face.

“Your nose is all red.”

When it’s cold, my nose automatically turns red because I have very fair skin and easily get red-faced.

Phii Godt always teases me, saying I’m like a tomato.

Not long after, the ferry docked. The four of us stood on the deck, Phii Godt went to stand with Phii Beert, talking to each other. Phii Wan walked over to stand beside me, munching on snacks.

“It’s cold,” Phii Wan complained, adjusting his jacket to cover himself, making him look even smaller.

“Do you want a hot pack? I have some.”

“It’s okay, the wind on the boat makes it cold.”

We both stood silently watching the sea, letting the wind pass through our bodies.

Since Phii Wan and Phii Beert announced they were a couple, I noticed Phii Wan had toned down his rough edges a lot. He seemed more easygoing, doing what he said, not complaining or arguing with Phii Beert as much. But with Phii Godt, he was still the same, always bickering.

“How’s work going?” Phii Wan passed me a milk-flavored candy. I nodded in thanks and unwrapped it to put in my mouth.

“It’s good, sometimes busy, sometimes not.”

“I was thinking about quitting my job to work with Ton’s group.”

“Huh. Don’t you like your job?” I seemed to recall Phii Godt mentioning that Phii Wan worked in an office, with a set schedule, forced to sit in front of a computer all day, which probably wasn’t his style.

“Yeah, I’m bored with it, plus Ton is looking for an assistant.”

“What about Phii Beert?”

“Beert has become a professor now.”

“Wow, that’s great.”

Phii Wan yawned, rubbing his eyes a little.

“I heard from Godt that you went back to talk to an old friend?”

I hiccupped slightly; it’s not like I went back to have a real, serious conversation. We just greeted each other, asked about our well-being, but mostly it was Phii Pee who sent cat pictures.

The cat I saved, Phii Pee let me name it, and as it stayed with Phii Pee, it got fatter and healthier until it became his partner’s favorite. I named that cat “Khun Chok” – “Mr. Lucky” because I found it and took care of it. He took the cat I rescued to raise. So, he often sends pictures of the cat for me to see.”

“Doesn’t Godt get insanely jealous?”

My face got hot hearing that. Jealous, of course. When he found out Phii Pee was back, Phii Godt gave me a thorough scolding, but after some time, he didn’t make much fuss about it because he knew in the end it was just friendship.

“How could he not be jealous?”

Phii Wan laughed with satisfaction.

“You possessive little thing.”

“Who are you talking about?” The large shadow that fell over both of us didn’t startle Phii Wan in the slightest.

“You’re so possessive.”

“Possessive about what?” Phii Godt seemed ready to pick a fight with Phii Wan. I shook my head, watching the two who were about to start bickering again.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t play dumb, Wan, tell me now!”

What do you say, Beert? Some people are just too possessive, blinded by jealousy, like they’re afraid their partner might choose someone else over them.”

“How could my partner choose someone else over me? Look at my face first, is there anyone as handsome as me for my partner to choose? With a smart, handsome boy like me, who could be my competition? I really pity my competitors.”

“Ugh, so full of yourself, I heard you were so jealous you almost went to punch him. Good thing you didn’t, or I’d have to visit you in jail.”

“Well, I felt like smacking him. If Beert patted someone else’s head, would you punch them?”

Phii Wan choked, giving Phii Beert a side-eye. If Phii Godt was jealous, Phii Wan was a hundred times more so.

“Punch him then, what are you waiting for?”

“Oh please, I thought you’d be sure.”

“Right now, on Rabbit Island?”

“Come on, I’m not afraid.”

“Asshole.”

“Stop fighting, we’ve arrived.” Phii Beert raised his hand to stop the squabble as the ferry docked.

No matter how many years go by, Phii Godt and Phii Wan still fight like they always have. But it’s funny, adds some color to life.

As soon as I stepped off the boat, I could see rabbits almost everywhere, as if they were waiting for food. I quickly unwrapped some carrots and walked over to the fluffy creatures. With just the carrots, the rabbits came flocking.

So adorable.

Since it wasn’t a festival, there weren’t many people, so I had the chance to see rabbits hopping around me. Most were fully grown, nearly the size of cats, in various colors, but brown ones seemed to be the majority. The feeding area was a wide lawn with short grass, probably all eaten by the rabbits. It was so clean you could almost roll around on it, as they strictly prohibited littering, fearing the rabbits might think it’s food.

I looked over at Phii Wan, who had sat down on the grass, feeding vegetables to a plump brown rabbit. I, on the other hand, encountered a snow-white rabbit. When I offered it a carrot, it quickly moved closer, clinging to my leg as if it wanted to climb onto my lap.

Everyone seemed to enjoy feeding the rabbits, making small noises to call them over, except for Phii Godt, whom the rabbits completely ignored.

“Why won’t the rabbits eat my food?”

Phii Godt complained to Phii Wan, who was sitting not far away, giving him a malicious smile in response.

“Because your face looks like you might eat the rabbit.”

“Asshole, Wan!”

“Or maybe your face is too fierce, so they run away.”

“Are you picking a fight with me? Come on then, let’s go.”

“No way, feel sorry for the rabbits, they must be tired of looking at such a loser.”

“Beert, shove some carrots in your wife’s mouth, she’s annoying.”

“Try sitting still, Godt, walking around like that, the rabbits think you’re going to kick them.” Phii Beert suggested, but no matter how still Phii Godt sat, the rabbits wouldn’t come close, as if they were afraid he might eat them like Phii Wan said. When he turned to look at me surrounded by fluffy rabbits, Phii Beert couldn’t help but laugh.

“Look at that.”

“Look at what?”

“All the rabbits are with him now.”

Khun Godzilla turned to look at me, petting a white rabbit, surrounded by at least six fat bunnies. Phii Godt sighed and smiled at me.

“You’re like Snow White for real.”

I didn’t know why the rabbits ran to me; the carrots in both mine and Phii Godt’s hands were from the same source.

Maybe they didn’t taste the same, so the rabbits wouldn’t eat Phii Godt’s.

It turned out that on this trip to Rabbit Island, Phii Godt didn’t get to touch a single rabbit. When he tried to get close, they would jump away; even when he tempted them with carrots, they preferred to eat from others. So, he resignedly switched to taking pictures of me playing with the rabbits.

“It’s like they know, who’s good and who’s bad,” Phii Wan blurted out.

“I’m good too, right?”

“Not you, Wan, but if I were a rabbit, I’d run to him too.”

“Why?”

“We look alike.”

“Pfft!” Both Phii Godt and Phii Beert burst out laughing at the same time. I, on the other hand, turned to look at the rabbit, furrowing my brows.

Do we look alike?

Do we look alike, Rabbit?

It was an hour where Phii Godt tried so hard to catch a rabbit for a photo, but he couldn’t. Seeing that, I felt sorry for him.

Phii Godt isn’t really a mean person, but he seems to emit some kind of heat aura around him that keeps animals at a distance. I remember when we went to feed the birds, not only did they ignore the food in Phii Godt’s hand, but they also pooped on his shoulder.

A true animal repellent.

There’s also Young-Master, who, when Phii Godt tried to pick him up, would retract into his shell as if he didn’t want to get to know him. And the cats around the dormitory would always turn their faces away from Phii Godt whenever he tried to play with them. The only one brave enough to get close to him is Charcoal.

Oh, and there’s Lucky, his own pet, who comes to him without being called.

I pulled out the last carrot from the bag and offered it to a light-brown rabbit in front of me, which immediately ran over. I petted the rabbit to get it used to my touch before calling Phii Godt to come closer.

The rabbits here aren’t afraid of people, but you have to be careful when playing with them. If you’re not careful, you might get bitten. I didn’t dare pick it up, so I tried to keep it still so that when Phii Godt approached, it wouldn’t run away.

“Try to touch it gently,” Phii Godt sat down beside me, trying not to make any noise that would scare the rabbit away.

“It’ll run from me.”

“Try it. I’ve got it. It won’t run.” He slowly placed his hand on the rabbit’s head and petted it gently, looking happy to finally be able to touch a rabbit after chasing them for so long.

When Phii Godt holds the rabbit, it looks tiny because his hands are so big.

Looking at the happy face of the person beside me, who was smiling and talking softly to the rabbit, it seemed like he had a special love for rabbits. We don’t often see this animal-loving side of him. He’s okay with all kinds of animals, but with rabbits, his eyes lit up.

And then:

“Do you want to keep one? We could buy one to take home.”

“Do I even have time to take care of one?”

I made a face at him. True. Both of us barely have any free time; even now, I hardly have time to play with Young-Master. After work, I’m tired, go home, shower, and collapse into bed. Wake up, and it’s back to work!

It’s a pity, but they’re really cute. If Phii Godt could keep one, he would be very happy.

“But if we keep one at Ton’s workplace, it would be fine.”

I gave him a sparkling look, and the big guy laughed softly, ruffling my hair until it was messy before fixing it back into place, as he always does.

“We’ll play with it when we get back from Phuket.”

“Have you named it yet?”

“This time, let him name it.”

“What color are you going to buy?”

“What color do you want?”

“White, or brown is fine.”

“Then I’ll buy white. And what about the name?” Phii Godt stood up after Phii Beert called him to go cycling. I let go of the fluffy one, watching it hop away to join the others.

White, huh?

We already have Young-Master, Khun Smile, and Khun Godzilla.

What should we choose?

“Snow White.” The person in front of me brushed my hair behind my ear and spoke that name.

It was another moment where, when looking at my face, he seemed to think of a name, and I agreed with it.

“Khun Snow.”

I smiled happily before the two of us followed Phii Beert and Phii Wan.

Khun Snow White, Khun Snow… such beautiful names.

I’m the happiest to have met Phii Godt. If I hadn’t met him, I wouldn’t have had the chance to stand in such a beautiful place, wouldn’t have encountered these rabbits, and wouldn’t have seen how much Phii Godt really loves these rabbits.

My pinky finger intertwined with the pinky of the tall person walking next to me, swinging back and forth like children.

I love him so much.

I flopped down onto the soft bed, exhausted. Not used to exercising, after cycling around the island, my legs were completely worn out. Meanwhile, the one who exercises regularly looked so happy. Phii Godt once said that if he doesn’t exercise, he can’t sleep, like exercising makes him feel refreshed. If he can’t go to the gym, when he comes to my place or back when we lived in the dorm, he would do push-ups, situps, or jump squats.

After dinner, we headed straight back to the hotel. I quickly showered and lay on the bed, unwrapping toys. In Japan, there’s something to spend money on almost everywhere, and there are plenty of cute things around. Initially, I decided not to buy toys to take back home, but in the end, I got carried away and bought a bag full.

Just a while ago, I stood with Phii Wan for half an hour pressing the button for the cat that hangs on the edge of a cup.

Crack

The sound of the bathroom door opening came with the tall man stepping out. Since we’ve been together, I’ve noticed one habit that he just can’t shake – he doesn’t like to wear a shirt in the bathroom. He prefers to come out shirtless and put his shirt on outside. He can put on his pants but insists on shirtless while he is inside the room, I don’t get why. But every time I see Phii Godt’s physique, I have to look away. He’s got a really good body. No excess fat at all, you could say he’s handsome from head to toe without any fault.

Well, except for one flaw – he’s incredibly self-absorbed.

Phii Godt, who had just come out of the bathroom, yawned widely.

“Are you sleepy?”

He shook his head, turning to grab something from a paper bag on the table. It seemed like something he bought while I was busy with Phii Wan pressing the gachapon machine outside the hotel.

“What did you buy?”

The big guy grinned mischievously, hiding whatever he took out from the bag behind his back. Phii Godt sat down on the bed, then put the item on my head, laughing with delight.

“So cute.”

“What is this?”

I pulled it off my head; it was a pair of long, soft white rabbit ears.

A rabbit headband…

“I didn’t get to play with rabbits today, so let me play with you a bit.” He said, trying to put the headband back on me. In the end, it ended up back on my head.

Who said men can’t like cute things? I’d hit them. Phii Godt here really likes cute stuff.

“You’re too big, rabbits are probably scared.”

“Wait and see.”

I let my head rest on my arm and lay on my side to look at him.

“I don’t know either. Since I was little, it’s like there’s some kind of attraction that draws animals to me.”

“Maybe Wan was right. You look like rabbits.”

“How so?”

Phii Godt gave a light kiss on my forehead, his warm hand brushing over my face before moving to play with my ears, making me squirm a little from the tickling sensation.

“Eyes, nose, mouth, all like a rabbit.”

After saying that, he pressed a kiss onto my lips, teasingly nibbling at them as if he had fangs. The taller figure flipped over to straddle my body, starting with gentle kisses that gradually grew heavier, his breaths deepening with the rising tide of emotion.

When it comes to kissing, I can’t compete with Phii Godt at all. Even when we’re arguing, one kiss from him wipes my mind clean—I forget what we were even fighting about. All I can do is let out muffled hums from my throat, following his lead. His kisses pull me in every time he presses his lips to mine, soft and warm, as if they’re sweeping every thought from my head, leaving them drifting away.

Phii Godt pulled his lips back, then planted light kisses on my forehead, my nose, and the tip of my chin.

“Do you like it, going on trips like this?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ll bring you on trips more often then.”

“I’d go anywhere… as long as you’re there.” I averted my gaze, feeling a flush of shyness creeping up. Phii Godt let out a low chuckle before beginning to play a symphony of love across my body.

“The older you get, the cuter you are, you know that?”

“You tell me I’m cute a hundred times a day—how could I not know?”

“Want more?” He pressed a kiss to the slope of my shoulder, tugging down my oversized shirt.

Lately, I’ve started to think he likes me wearing oversized clothes because it’s easier for him to maneuver—pull it down just a little, and my shoulder’s already exposed. I raised the back of my hand to cover my face as Phii Godt trailed his lips across my body, tasting every inch, murmuring that deep, soothing word over and over.

“Cute, cute, cute, cute.”

My heart pounded in my chest, my body burning so fiercely I couldn’t refuse anything. I could hear the sound of his kisses and the soft parting of his lips from my skin, the creak of the bed as another body shifted. Every time those soft lips touched me, every fiber of my being seemed to respond, as if it could only be his touch—only his—that could make my body react like this.

Phii Godt shifted closer, pressing his nose to my cheek. Seizing the moment, I grabbed his neck, pulling him in, pressing my lips to the tip of his nose, his cheek, his chin, his forehead, his eyelids—loving everything that he is.

“You’re cute too, cute, cute, cute.”

He repeats it, and I’m no different.

Whether in a small square room or the vast wide world, no matter where I go, no matter where I am on this earth— As long as Phii Godt is by my side,

The world is bright. 

 

    MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 3: Beert X Wan, Friends Turning Into Lovers.

Beert had set a rule for himself not to like friends, not to love friends, not to let friendships turn sour because of relationships.

He forgot all those rules today.

Since when did being friends evolve into something more than just friendship? He couldn’t pinpoint the exact time. He just felt that his relationship with Wan had changed.

From constantly arguing, he began to yield even when the other was being stubborn.

He started complaining about things he never used to because he was concerned.

He got involved in matters he would have ignored before, just to prevent the other from crying in sadness.

The young man with the sun-like gaze looked at his best friend, whom he spent nearly every moment with, 24 hours a day, hardly ever apart. The small, defiant-faced boy with dark brown hair blowing in the wind as they sat by the water in the evening.

Wan was saying something, but his mind wasn’t focusing.

All he cared about was that happy smile.

Since he confessed his feelings for Wan, everything has remained the same. They didn’t officially become a couple, but they were still close friends who were never far apart. The only slight difference was that Wan’s reactions had softened by about half.

Is that a good thing, or not?

If it were before, whenever he said something, his stubborn friend would argue back with all his might. Whether it was about food or daily life, Wan was the type who never yielded if he wasn’t in the wrong, doing everything his own way and speaking more straightforwardly than a ruler. Sometimes, his words could sting, but once you got close, especially with friends, you’d find that deep down, he had a good heart; he would admit his mistakes and never shirk responsibility.

After the confession, Wan didn’t argue with him as much; strangely, he would comply even while grumbling. Beert used to think, “Maybe it’s nothing, maybe he’s just grown up or understands more,” but when he saw Wan with other friends, he was still fiercely argumentative, especially with Godt, not giving an inch.

He would take that as a good sign.

Beert raised his phone to take a picture of the other when he wasn’t looking, everything in the frame looked perfect. Whether it was his eyes, nose, mouth, face, or the way he chatted animatedly as the sun was setting, the orange hue of the sky.

Wan has always been in his sight.

During happiness, during sadness, when he needed someone by his side, though he always claimed he could be alone.

How could he let him be alone, especially when he looked so pitiful when he cried?

Especially when he saw Wan crying his heart out over that person, the one who left, the one who never looked back since then. Wan seemed out of sorts. He looked happy on the outside, laughing and cheerful like before, but inside he was wounded, a scar that would never heal.

Maybe since then, when Wan hurt, he felt hurt too.

Maybe since then, he felt like he wanted to protect him, to be by his side always.

Wan and sadness just don’t go together at all.

“Beert, are you listening?”

The cheerful voice of the person beside him snapped Beert out of his daydream. Beert responded to his close friend softly.

“Hmm?”

“He said he’s about to enter the room.”

“Why is he coming in, did he forget something?”

“He forgot some clothes or something, let’s go buy something to eat before going in to meet him.”

He nodded to the person standing up, Wan stood with slight laziness, looking down at his friend who was busy rolling up the mat.

“Beert.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve got grass in your hair.”

“Huh?”

Before he could react, the smaller person moved closer and pulled out a dry piece of grass from his hair, not just pulling it out but also showing it to him with a mischievous smile.

“How do you sit so that grass ends up on your head, or did you sit on your head?”

“Who would be crazy enough to sit on their head?”

Beert shook his head at the playful tease, quickly tying up the mat and slinging it over his shoulder, about to stand when Wan extended his hand in front of him.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the hand; for a hundred days and years, he had never thought to help him stand, always just pushing him down to sit on the ground. Why today was he reaching out? And even wiggling his fingers.

“Don’t you want to hold my hand, or are you afraid it’s dirty?”

Wan looked at his best friend who wouldn’t lift his hand to touch, as if he was afraid of germs. He glanced down at his own right hand. It’s not dirty, is it? He had just been sitting on the mat. He hadn’t touched anything, or was it because he was afraid of sweat? Realizing this, he quickly wiped his hand on his shirt and extended it forward again.

“Oh, I wiped it.”

Beert gave a small smile and placed his hand on Wan’s. He wasn’t afraid of dirt, just a bit stunned. He made sure not to grip too hard since Wan’s hand was significantly smaller than his. Soon, he managed to stand up straight with Wan’s help, the warmth spreading from the contact made him want to pull the person in front of him into a hug.

Normally, Wan would have shaken his hand off and walked away by now. But for some reason today, he kept holding on, not letting go. Beert looked down at his hand being held by the other.

“Your hand is really big.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, it’s just much bigger than mine.” As he said this, he turned his hand over to compare sizes, making the taller one’s heart skip a beat. These cute moments were rare, and he truly wanted to record it with his phone.

But even without the phone, he remembered every detail in his mind.

“Do you want a big hand?” His deep voice asked softly, and Wan shook his head.

“No, I’m just jealous when you play basketball and catch the ball so accurately. Look at my hand, what can it catch?”

“Something.”

Catching me perfectly, that’s what.

Beert’s brief words seemed meaningless on the surface, but they were loaded with several implications. Their eyes met long enough to understand each other’s unspoken meanings. As expected, Beert didn’t need to explain further because once Wan understood, he quickly let go of the hand, turning away to clear his throat in embarrassment.

“Let’s go?”

After saying that, the smaller one walked ahead, his steps brisk and quick before slowing down for the other to catch up. Beert smiled, a smile that made Wan turn around to pinch his arm.

Even these small changes, he could notice.

And he was happy with these little things.

“You guys were outside for so long, I’ve been here for ages.”

Bel was complaining about the two friends who had just returned to the condo, they had set a meeting at 6 PM. Who knows where they had gone to buy food, it was past midnight by the time they got back to the room. Judging by the things in their hands, they must have gone shopping to relax. When Wan heard this, he turned and glared at him.

“Why are you here now? Didn’t you have an appointment with Ton?” “Oh come on, I had to come back for my clothes first, didn’t I, Wan? I forgot everywhere except in this room where two ‘married’ people live. Do you think I wanted to interrupt?” The smaller one even hiccupped.

“I’ll hit you if you keep talking.”

“Don’t! Don’t start anything!”

The door was kicked open by the owner of the room with a loud bang, accompanied by the noisy bickering of the two.

Wan and Bel, if they were always together, they would probably end up really fighting one day.

Since graduating, Beert, Wan, Bell, and Ton have kept in touch. The four of them still hang around the university area on the outskirts of the city. Only Godt and Biu moved out to work in the city near Ladprao. Even though Godt comes back to the university area every week, no one sees him because he spends all his time with Nong Diew.

Bell works as a tutor teaching the younger students, while Ton works at the faculty. Meanwhile, Wan and Beert chose to pursue their master’s degrees at the same university, in the same faculty and department.

Since they had to study together for another two years but didn’t want to continue renting the old dorm with its ineffective air conditioning and noisy environment, they decided to rent a condo near the back of the university instead.

“How’s it going, Beert?” Bell turned to ask the person arranging things in the fridge. Meanwhile, his sparring partner had already gone into the bathroom.

“How’s what? I’m fine.”

“Sure, your face doesn’t look too fine though.”

The one who knows too much tightened the paper bag against himself, while Beert closed the fridge and turned to frown at his friend.

“What?”

“Your face says, ‘When will Wan like you?’”

Beert went quiet, just giving a smile before turning his attention back to arranging things in the small kitchen.

He wasn’t in any rush; for something like this, the more you rush, the more it falls apart, especially with someone as stubborn as Wan. If he tried to force him to do something he didn’t want to do, it could only lead to chaos.

“I didn’t hear that.”

“It’s up to you, but shouldn’t things move forward by now?”

“Move forward how much?”

“Just enough to officially be a couple. Or is Wan not agreeing?”

“I haven’t asked yet.”

“Sigh. Are you sure you’re happy with how things are? I know you, Beert, you wouldn’t want to force Wan, but is this really enough? This super ambiguous ‘best friend’ status?”

Before they could talk further, the other person emerged from the bathroom, his lips humming a tune in good spirits. Wan looked up from his phone screen, noticing the two with their worried expressions.

“What’s wrong? Why the long faces?”

“Oh, nothing,” Bell quickly deflected, “But who were you talking to?” Seeing Wan giggle at his phone, Bell, the friend who loved to meddle, couldn’t let it go.

“Why? Who I talk to is none of your business.”

“Really? But you’re smiling from ear to ear.”

“None of your business!”

“Look at him, Beert, talking to his new fling again.”

“Let Wan talk to whoever he wants.”

The room fell silent immediately.

Bell glanced at Beert, whose face had fallen, and the warm-hearted guy turned away to busy himself with tidying up, pretending there was a lot to do. It was clear from his actions that he was thinking about something. As for Wan, his eyes had turned into those of a hungry ghost.

Seeing this, Bell sighed.

It wasn’t really about him, but seeing the good guy sad, Bell couldn’t help but feel sympathetic.

It’s pitiful that friends end up secretly liking each other, but the point is, even after confessing for so long, there’s still no official relationship. They live in the same room, study together, sleep together, kissed how many times? What do you call this if not a couple? Friends with benefits? A close male friendship?

When other friends see the way Beert looks at Wan, it’s crystal clear, but the way Wan looks at Beert is still just like looking at a friend, no different from before. Sometimes, Bell wanted to remind Wan to make his feelings clear. To stop chatting with girls. Beert wouldn’t say it out loud, “I’m jealous,” or “You need to be clear, Wan,” or “Do you like me, Wan?” Whatever Wan does, if it doesn’t bother others, it’s generally okay.

He didn’t want to think about what would happen if someone new came into the picture, wouldn’t that make things even worse?

“I should go,” Bell lightly shrugged and patted his friend’s shoulder, thinking but not saying out loud. This wasn’t the first time Bell wanted to speak up, but he refrained out of consideration for Beert, preferring him to make his own decisions. But this time, the signs were clear. It was obvious that Beert was upset, not that Bell was exaggerating, but this kind of thing needed a little push. Seeing Wan’s oblivious expression made Bell unhappy.

He acted like he felt nothing, could say nonchalantly that he could talk to whoever he wanted, but when someone was close to Beert, he got possessive, not wanting Beert to mingle with others. If he didn’t like him, what would you call this? Jealousy? Friend jealousy? How jealous, moving into the dorm wasn’t just because someone from the same class brought snacks to Beert every day, right? Making excuses about noise, that’s bad behavior. If Godt and Biu found out, he wouldn’t survive; they’d curse him out for two days straight.

Beert is almost ready for monkhood. If you don’t accept his love this lifetime, I bet he’ll really become a monk one day, and if he does, don’t come crying to me.

“Beert.”

“Hmm, what?”

“When I have some free time, I’ll bring Miaow to see you, she really likes you.”

Beert furrowed his brows looking at his friend, his brain not processing what Bell was talking about.

“Miaow, don’t you remember Miaow? The one who gave you a gift at graduation. If you don’t remember, it’s okay, I’ll bring her to meet you, maybe you can get close. Not that I want you to talk about anything special, just for future support.”

He left that bomb and quickly left the room.

The taller one watched as his friend walked out, Bell humming a tune cheerfully, and even before shutting the door, he winked, still confusing but with the understanding that Bel was trying to provoke Wan. Because he didn’t know Miaow, couldn’t remember who she was, the only people who gave him gifts were juniors he knew.

When he turned back to look at the other person in the room, the displeased glance sent his way, the face tight as if he’d just eaten a hornet, clearly showed that Bel had successfully stirred him up.

Wan didn’t say anything, just briskly walked into the bedroom.

He got upset.

Should he follow and explain that he doesn’t know Miaow, that what Bel said was just to provoke Wan? But then again, judging by that irritated look, Wan probably didn’t want to be bothered right now, so he decided to finish organizing the stuff, his gaze drifting out the window.

Just like Bel said, he had confessed long ago. Why hadn’t the relationship progressed at all? But he didn’t dwell on it too much. Just confessing was enough. Not being scolded for it was enough. Just that the other allowed him to continue being a part of his life was more than enough.

Is that really enough?

Bell’s words echoed in his mind again.

It is… as long as Wan is still by his side. Doesn’t go to someone else.

Doesn’t get close to someone else. Doesn’t like someone else. Even if

Wan doesn’t say he likes him, just being by each other’s side is enough.

But what guarantees that Wan won’t like someone else?

A sense of insecurity began to creep into Beert’s heart bit by bit. He knew Wan had many friends, was a social person much like Godt. Wan was good at flirting; if someone were to fall for him, it wouldn’t be surprising.

Was it his fault? He had confessed, but he never stopped anything, never showed signs of jealousy or sadness when Wan talked about other people. If Wan smiled with others, wasn’t that good?

How is that good… how can that be good when all he wanted was to be the one making Wan smile more than anyone else?

With someone who barely talks, scolds when he behaves badly, and hardly has any fun stories to tell, how could he make Wan smile every day?

The more he thought, the more his head hurt. The young man with the sun-like gaze slumped on the sofa, turning on the TV to drown out the turmoil in his mind. The cooking show, which usually entertained him, didn’t feel fun today.

He tried not to think, tried not to expect, because he knew it would lead to heartbreak.

He respected Wan’s decisions. Whatever Wan decided, he had to accept it because when he first started liking him, he didn’t expect anything in return. Just wanting Wan to be happy every day was enough!

…

For nearly half an hour, Beert didn’t move, just staring blankly at the

TV screen, alone, until the bedroom door opened, revealing the stubborn face of the other peeking out. Wan looked at the person lost in thought on the sofa; even when he opened the door, Beert didn’t seem to notice. Normally, Beert wasn’t like this. Even though he didn’t talk much, he never sat brooding or zoning out, especially not during his favorite cooking show.

Why didn’t he call him to watch today? Usually, they watch it together.

Or was he upset about what he said to Bell, about talking to whoever and it being none of his business? Beert knew he wasn’t talking to anyone; these days, it was just the close group of friends. The laughter was because he stumbled upon something funny on Twitter.

But who would believe that? Before Beert confessed, his chats were never empty for a single day.

Why does he have to look so sad?

Seeing him like that was even more irritating; he wouldn’t even come to clear up the Miaow issue. He knew that someone like Beert wouldn’t go for a woman. How many years have they been friends? Beert never spoke more than ten words to any woman except Biu, why wouldn’t he know? Since he confessed his feelings, he hasn’t looked at anyone else but him, but he couldn’t act right. They sleep together every day, look into each other’s eyes every day, play around every day, live together every day, but after the confession, he couldn’t just act the same.

Thinking back to the time he had a fight with Tan, Wan’s face turned red up to his ears. During that time, he was never in his right mind. He didn’t know when Beert started liking him more than just as a friend. If it was during the fight with Tan, there were so many incidents he couldn’t even count.

Waking up to find himself hugging his friend’s waist, dazed to the point of undressing and sleeping like that. Not to mention during their playful times, they had crossed some boundaries. How could they look each other in the eye after that?

He was worried that Beert felt bad because he hadn’t made anything clear yet, even after all this time it was still the same.

What was still the same?

He had never yielded to anyone like he did to Beert. Just because he didn’t say he liked him out loud, it didn’t mean he didn’t.

Wan furrowed his brows looking at the person sitting on the sofa, letting out a sigh. What was he thinking about? Today was Sunday, and they usually watched TV together on Sundays, yet here he was, not even inviting him to watch TV together.

The smaller one walked out of the room with a stern face, sat down next to his best friend, and handed him a piece of paper, one torn from a notebook. It looked crumpled as if Wan had written it on the bed.

Beert took the paper, bending down to read the message written in shaky handwriting:

“Are you tired of loving someone like me? Are you tired of not getting anything in return? I’m sorry for not being clear. It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t know how to say it.”

His tired eyes widened upon reading the message, turning to look at the other who was awkwardly scratching his cheek. Wan sat with his knees up, looking even smaller than he already was, staring at his feet, moving them back and forth.

“Beert.”

“Hmm?”

“Are you… angry?”

“Angry about what?”

“About me scolding Bell, saying whoever I talk to is none of his business.”

“Not at all.”

“But you… your face looked off. And you said I could talk to anyone and just let it go…”

Beert shook his head to indicate he wasn’t angry, but Wan knew better. After living together for so long, how could he not know what the person beside him was thinking? If he wasn’t genuinely feeling bad, he wouldn’t be sitting there so dejected.

“I’m not flirting with anyone, I swear,” the smaller one said, raising three fingers in a pledge, glancing at his friend briefly.

“Who you talk to is your right.”

“I really wasn’t flirting to anyone, just scrolling through Twitter for fun and laughed at something funny. You can check my phone if you want.”

“Sure. I’m not angry or anything.”

“I haven’t flirted with anyone since you said you liked me.”

They both fell silent, letting the awkward atmosphere envelop them. The TV’s sound still filled the room, easing the tension for Wan, whose heart was now beating faster and faster.

“Beert.”

“Hmm?”

Not saying ‘I like you’ doesn’t mean I don’t like you.” His voice was hesitant as he buried his face in his knees, “It’s just that… we’ve been friends for a long time, so close that we know everything about each other. It feels weird to suddenly make it official, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“But if you… want to be my boyfriend… need a clear status…”

“Do you want to?”

Beert was stunned for a moment. He questioned in his mind what was happening, why suddenly everything had changed like this. Or was it because Wan was afraid he would be angry? He wasn’t angry at Wan, how could he be? It was just a small sense of insecurity.

“Do you want to?” Wan repeated, making Beert smile. But this smile, Wan probably didn’t see, a smile that expressed deep happiness from the bottom of his heart, a smile he’d never given to anyone else. He was grateful Wan was looking down; otherwise, he would have been even more embarrassed.

I want to, I really want to.

“It’s up to you, do you want to?”

“I’m asking you, why are you turning it back on me?”

I don’t want to force it. We don’t have to be official. Just being together, eating together, discussing things, not liking anyone else, that’s enough.”

The smaller one pushed his friend’s head until he tilted.

“Everything you’ve said, are we already a couple?”

“That’s right.” Beert laughed softly, his warm and bright laugh making the one who was looking down raise his head to look at him.

There seemed to be some kind of magnetic attraction that slowly drew Wan closer to the other person. Beert was handsome. Although not as handsome as Godt, his character was beyond perfect; handsome, kind, calm. This gentleness, he didn’t want others to see, didn’t want him to be gentle with others, didn’t want him to smile at others, didn’t want these warm hands to touch anyone else.

Their personalities were so different; Wan was self-centered, prone to outbursts, to the point where he didn’t even like his own nature, but Beert never complained. Never criticized, always indulged him.

Who else in the world would indulge him like this?

Even though he indulged him, he never let him get spoiled; whenever he did something wrong, he would admonish him. They might argue sometimes, but within a day, they’d be talking like before because of this kind of closeness. He felt comfortable being by his side.

And that promise he made, to like him one day…

Before he knew it, Wan pressed his lips against the other’s, the taller one’s eyes widening in surprise. The light touch, like a soft cotton ball at first, gradually turned into something warm and blazing, like a newly lit stove. The taste of sweetness, flavored with the orange scent that the other liked to eat, their breaths mingled, not wanting to part, as if they were trying to embrace feelings that couldn’t be expressed in words.

Wan moved to straddle his friend, the friend he promised to like one day, the deeper the kiss, the closer they got, the more they craved each other, repeatedly, from a light kiss, the tip of his tongue began to touch the lower lip of Beert, while the other kissed back with equal fervor, not letting the other one have his way.

The heat that was slowly building enveloped both their bodies; the air conditioning did nothing to cool them down. The stubborn one wrapped his arms around Beert’s neck; this kiss, led by Wan, was a complete confession that all this time, he had fully accepted this love.

Yielding to almost everything, obeying in many matters, his mind was always on this person.

Beert’s hands pulled the person in his embrace closer by the waist, the soft moan from Wan was something he never dreamt he would hear, the sweetness that made his heart race. Before Wan pulled away, laying his head on his friend’s broad shoulder, the smaller one’s shoulders moved up and down, exhausted, as if this kiss was like being forced by a teacher to run laps around the field.

“Beert.”

The sound of labored breathing along with a soft but clear call of his name reached the other person. Beert held Wan’s waist tight, responding with a hum in his throat as an acknowledgment. Wan wouldn’t lie down flat, instead clinging to him like a koala.

“When I kiss other people, I’ve never felt like this before.”

The words made the listener frown; the one in his arms was quite experienced, but was this really the time to bring up such things? It was quite good at killing the romantic mood.

“And how do you feel now?”

“Hot.”

Wan grumbled, yet he didn’t let go of his friend’s neck.

The sound of breathing beside his ear was so intense that even someone like Beert could barely stand it.

“Beert.”

“Hmm?”

For some reason, Wan was acting very clingy today, calling his name repeatedly.

“Beert.”

“What?”

“Don’t go looking for a Miaow.” Beert almost choked and then burst out laughing, earning him a slap on the back from Wan.

He thought he was worried about something else, but it turned out he was worried about what Bell said about bringing over someone named Miaow. He didn’t even know anyone named Miaow, nor had he ever wanted to meet one. Because he already had this ‘cat’ here.

After today, he’d have to thank Bell for helping Wan become more aware of his feelings. Even though he didn’t expect Wan to change, seeing him act cute and clingy like this, maybe he should have asked Bel for help long ago. They had kept their feelings bottled up for so long, but even then, they never wanted to part. However, just one day was enough to make things clearer.

“If you don’t want me to go looking for Miaow, then meow for me.” “You…”

“If not, I’ll go look for Miaow.”

He was just teasing. He didn’t mean to do it for real; there was no way Wan would do something like that.

Beert rested his chin on Wan’s shoulder, embracing his close friend, not wanting to let go, exhaling a relieved breath onto his shoulder, smiling happily.

There was no need to be flamboyant. He loved Wan just the way he was, loved that Wan was Wan.

No matter how many years pass, no matter if their status is just close friends, they would always know they were more than just close friends. Even if not officially a couple, they knew they were each other’s special person and neither wanted to let the other go.

“Um…”

“Hmm?” Beert looked at the person whose face and ears were red in his embrace, Wan made a soft, hesitant sound as if trying to say something.

“Miaow…”

He didn’t mishear, did he?… Did Wan just meow?

“Meow.”

“Huh?”

“You’re laughing!”

Beert wanted to slap himself for not being able to hold back his laughter, but it was genuinely funny. Was he so afraid he’d go for Miaow that he’d even meow? They’ve been together all this time, and he thought he was cute, but he could be even cuter, to the point where his heart could barely handle it.

The sharp nose pressed against Wan’s shoulder, swaying slightly. The more he laughed, the more he was scolded by the cat, with the nails of the person in his arms digging into his back along with the irritated voice.

“With this cat here, if you go for another, you won’t die well.”

How could he go for anyone else? With Wan being this cute?

His little cat.

“Beert…”

“Hmm?”

“From now on, we’re officially a couple.”

Couple… the clear status that came out from the other’s mouth almost made him unable to hold back his tears. Beert buried his face in Wan’s shoulder again, the dampness on the shoulder making the smaller one’s heart sink.

“Are you crying?”

He thought he was content, but he was just fooling himself; thinking he was satisfied just being by his side, but receiving this status as a couple made him feel so overwhelmed, as if he might burst with emotion.

He was so glad to finally hear those words.

“Yes, we’re a couple.”

If I had to describe happiness in one word, Beert wouldn’t have long sentences to say; he’d only have one short word to explain his happiness.

His happiness was:

‘Wan.’

    MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter  2: Familiar Person (part 2)

Godt’s Part

“Phii Godt, can you listen for a moment? He’s an old friend. There’s nothing more than that.”

“Phii Godt.”

“Phii…”

The soft voice spoke all the way to the room. I unlocked the door and pushed it open, dragging the little one inside while closing the door irritably, but no matter how irritated I was, whenever I saw that frowning, furrowed brow, I always had to remind myself:

Don’t be harsh to him, don’t scold him, the rules of being a boyfriend to this easily scared turtle mean you must not scare him, stay calm.

Since meeting him, I’ve become much calmer, trying not to let emotions override reason because if I do, he’ll turn around and scold me. And he doesn’t scold vulgarly; his scolding is more like indirect criticism, a long lesson that makes you feel guilty for days.

“Now explain, who is he?”

I tried to keep my tone from getting any harsher.

The person in front of me sniffled, his eyes and nose red. Diew took his time to arrange his words, thinking about how to explain without setting me off. Watching him line up his thoughts is one of my favorite things; seeing those round eyes move around, his small lips slightly pursed, he doesn’t realize how adorable his thinking face is.

I’m not angry at him. Since we’ve been together, I’ve gotten angry at him only a few times, and each time never lasted more than ten minutes. But honestly, if you see your boyfriend crying with another guy comforting him by stroking his head, and then that guy smiles gently at your boyfriend, who wouldn’t explode? It’s not like I’m made of stone to ask calmly,

‘Who’s that, consoling you? That’s nice.’

Nice my ass.

And look at his face, those red, swollen eyes. Even from Mars, you could tell he’s been crying for a while. But who made him cry, was it that glasses-wearing guy? If he really made him cry, I’ll go down and punch him right now.

“His name is Phii Pee.”

The little one was panting, not only from being dragged upstairs but also from trying to explain to me, who was momentarily deaf to reason, what happened downstairs, why someone was touching his head like that, and why he was crying.

“He’s an old talk buddy.”

“No… no, he’s an old friend. I’ve been saying all the way that he’s a friend.”

“But he liked you, didn’t he?” I remember, Diew once told me about Phii Pee, who was a friend and then confessed to liking you. Back then, you still had prejudices against friends loving each other.

But you’re not that person anymore. You’ve let go of that prejudice.

If you allow him to come back and he still likes you, if he takes advantage of your naivety. There’s no guarantee that he’s stopped liking you, right? He’d have to go through me first.

“He used to like me. Not anymore.”

“How do you know?”

“He has a girlfriend now!” And now it was Diew shouting back at me.

Oh, he has a girlfriend now? How did you know he has a girlfriend?

He might have just made that up to get close to you.

“Are you sure he really has a girlfriend?”

“He brought his girlfriend with him just now, I saw it with my own eyes.” He said while glaring at me.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah to whom, to me?”

“Yeah to young-master, maybe. You never listen to the full story, getting hot-headed like a Godzilla. Good thing you didn’t swing your fist, you’d definitely go to jail!”

“Wait, wait.” Shouldn’t I be the one getting angry? Why are you turning the anger on me?

“You don’t listen. You know I need time to think about what to say; if I say something without thinking, you get all riled up. I know you’re jealous, but there’s nothing going on between me and Phii Pee anymore. I just wanted to clear things up, not to hold onto any grudges. It’s over.” He hit me with a full set. I was completely deflated.

The reason I had to ask repeatedly was because you’re slow to catch on, man. Others are in 2019, but Diew is still in 2018. Your feelings are always about ten seconds slower than others. For example, if someone flirts with you, you’ll think ‘No way, I’m not being flirted with,’ until the other person explicitly says they are flirting with you. Even when the actions are clearly flirting, like mine.

So, many times I have to spell everything out when doing something; the clearer and quicker it is, the better you understand and accept it.

With this guy, you have to take it slow; otherwise, you’ll just run headfirst into a three-layer wall.

“And why were you crying?”

“I was just relieved… at least I got to apologize to him, I was prejudiced before, you know.”

“And how come he was with you, did you guys get back together?”

“No, Phii Pee came to ask about the cat I saved. He’s a vet at the university hospital; I told you about the cat that got hit by a car, and he’s the one who treated it.”

Oh, now that I’ve heard it, I start piecing the story together. I was probably too hot-headed. I didn’t let him finish explaining before. I’ll have to be more careful next time; I almost punched Phii Pee back there.

The little one sighed, then sat down at the edge of the bed after a while, glaring at me with sharp eyes, which made me realize…

I need to apologize. If I don’t apologize now, I’ll definitely get an earful until morning.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I just saw you crying and someone else was there, touching your head, so I got jealous.”

“You can be jealous, but you need to be calmer than that, don’t be crazy!”

Silence.

The room fell silent the moment he shouted like that.

Once he started speaking fluently, his words came sharp and clear at me.

All I could do was sit quietly beside him, not daring to say anything.

The nickname “wife-fearing” that Biu gave me wasn’t just for show. Every time he raises his voice, Godt becomes like a dog, more so than even the charcoal dog under the dorm.

Godzilla, my ass. You’re just a little scaredy-cat. Even now, Biu still teases me like this.

Crazy? Saying I’m scared sounds too lame. It’s about respecting and honoring decisions. If he’s doing what’s right and not doing anything wrong, how could I raise my voice at him?

He’s decisive, serious, and his word is final. Even if he’s not good at speaking, once he says something, it’s final. That’s why I don’t dare to mess with him too much. To act like before, recklessly and without care, that’s not right.

Don’t forget, Godt, how much patience it took to become his boyfriend.

We sat in silence for a while before I finally placed my hand on his soft hair.

“Sorry, I was wrong.”

I only yield to this one person because I know everything he does has a reason. There must be a reason he wanted to talk to that friend again, seeing him as an important friend he didn’t want to lose, but feeling bad because of the confession. Besides, he said Phii Pee already has a partner, so I felt a bit relieved.

To be honest, leaving him alone at the dorm while I work so far away, only getting one day a week to come back to him, is already bad enough.

I don’t want to worry about someone else bothering him.

Diew wouldn’t go messing with anyone on his own, but others, they would come to bother him, and he’s super slow when it comes to these things. By the time he realizes he’s being flirted with, those people would have already invaded his world. If that were true, I’d probably have a heart attack and die first.

That’s why I have to ask every day who he met, if anyone was bothering or flirting with him, and he usually responds, “Who would flirt with me? There’s only you, Charcoal, who clings to my legs every time we leave the dorm, that’s all.”

But, whose shirt are you wearing? I don’t recognize it. And it’s so big, it doesn’t look like yours.

“Did you buy a new shirt?”

“Phii Pee gave it to me, my shirt got stained with bloo…”

I didn’t wait for him to finish. I turned him to face me. Not only did he come back to you, but he also gave you his shirt? No way, man, don’t let his cologne stick to you.

I pulled off the oversized T-shirt at light speed and threw it to the floor in front of the bathroom, next to the foot towel. The little one’s Cokecolored hair was all messy, pointing in different directions.

“Why are you like this?” Diew sighed, attempting to get up to pick up the shirt, but I grabbed his waist and pulled him back down to sit. I knew he felt sorry for Phii Pee; after being together for over a year, how could I not understand what that furrowed look meant? Probably thinking to wash it and give it back, huh?

He can wash it, he can return it, but not today, not when I’ve come back to him out of concern, stepping over my own worries.

Not enough that he was comforting you, not enough that he said he’d call, now he’s also giving you his shirt to wear!

If you’re any kinder, you’d be a saint.

“Phii Godt…”

The little one spoke up while I was undoing the buttons of his white school shirt, which had a wide bloodstain, probably from holding the cat that got hit by a car. He quickly grabbed my wrists, locking them in place, not letting me undo the third button. I understood why he needed to wear the T-shirt over it; walking back like this, he’d look like a serial killer, but still, I didn’t like him wearing someone else’s shirt.

“It’s stained, go take a shower.”

“Wait a minute.”

“One…”

“I’ll go now!” Diew pulled himself free from my grip; the buttons weren’t all undone, and with the sudden movement, something under the shirt was unintentionally revealed.

The words Biu said popped into my head again. Those words about how good his skin is.

I watched the little one dash into the bathroom and slam the door shut, then I unbuttoned my shirt collar and exhaled slowly.

He has fair skin, not pale but healthy-looking, unlike my honeycolored skin from playing outdoor sports. He doesn’t go out in the sun much, prefers eating vegetables and fruits, especially strawberry yogurt which he eats every day.

The last time I got a good look at his smooth skin, I can’t remember when it was. Lately, I’ve been so busy with work that I’ve lost track of days. I only get to visit him once a week, and even then, he doesn’t always let me do what I want. Sometimes he has to study, sometimes he has to get up early for class. A health-conscious kid like him, who sleeps by 3 or 4 AM, isn’t going to let me mess around until morning.

That’s just me dreaming.

Knowing this, I shouldn’t have worked at the same place as that jerk Biu, who fills my head with nonsense every day.

I try to control myself not to act impulsively with him, but it’s hard, it’s difficult, and I don’t want to do it. Especially tomorrow being his day off, my thoughts can’t be contained. A day off means he can sleep in, stay up late, do more than just hold hands.

Thinking about it, if asked if I would act on it, it depends on the day’s circumstances. If he’s in the mood, then that day is particularly blessed.

If he gives me the “stop” sign, then I’ll stop. It’s my nature not to force anyone, and it’s more satisfying when he comes to me on his own. Besides, after a tiring day at work, I’d rather rest, and I drove back because I was worried, not just worried but also because I missed him.

Seeing him only once a week, and if it’s a particularly busy week, not even that, just video calls. How can that compare to a real hug?

Sitting there lost in my own thoughts for a while, my eyes glanced over to young-master in the fish tank, who has grown a lot since we first met, standing still and looking at me, his lively eyes seeming to mock me.

“What are you looking at, young-master, looking for trouble?”

And here I am, talking to a turtle just like him.

I lay down on the bed, the scent of the shampoo he likes filling the room, especially strong on the bed. It’s probably because he’s very clean, washing the bed sheets once a week, even when eating or heating food in the room, he never lets food smells linger for more than half an hour, always spraying deodorant.

But no smell can compare to the scent of his shampoo and body wash. I must admit, I like this scent, but I wouldn’t use it myself; it’s too fruity, suitable for someone cheerful and lively like him. It smells great on him, but not on me, perhaps because I like to exercise and prefer scents that don’t mix badly with sweat to the point where people turn away.

I wouldn’t change it either, because he likes the cologne I use. The little one likes to sneak and spray it on Smile, then cuddle with it while he sleeps, which is super cute.

The throbbing pain in my head made me close my eyes. I draped an arm over my eyes in exhaustion. Today was full of back-to-back meetings, it was good to clear up the Phii Pee situation quickly. And then driving such a long distance, it was exhausting.

I guess in the future, there might be some job changes. Soon, we’ll both graduate. After that, we’ll probably talk about where he’ll work, or if he’ll go back to Phuket to be with family. If he decides to go back to work in Phuket, I’d surely die from missing him.

While I was resting my eyes, the bathroom door opened. I was just dozing off because of the cool air and pleasant scent when the sound of the little one’s footsteps stopped beside me.

“Are you asleep?” A soft voice asked, with a cool hand touching my arm.

“Not yet, I’m just tired.”

“Go shower first, then come to sleep.”

I was pulled up to sit by the energetic kid, but I flopped back down again after a moment. Once I closed my eyes, it felt like my body switched off; I wanted to sleep more, not shower… Can I be stubborn?

“Phii Godt, go shower.”

“Don’t want to, I’m sleepy.”

“Get up now.”

“Too lazy.”

“If you don’t shower, I’ll make you sleep on the balcony.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Count one…” There, he’s using the same tactic on me, acting like he’s scared or something.

“Go ahead and count. If you’re cruel enough to make me sleep on the balcony, then try it.”

“Go shower!”

“Nooo.”

It seemed like he was out of patience; he started hitting my arm repeatedly, smacking all the way to my stomach, making me jump.

“Go shower!”

“If I shower, will you let me kiss you?” I propped myself up a bit, looking at the person sitting beside me, who had just been angry with red ears, now turning into a tomato. The little one avoided my gaze, grabbing Smiles, who was lying on the bed, and hit my stomach with him, making me roll away.

“What do you say? If you don’t answer, I’ll sleep all sweaty like this.”

“Go shower.”

“Answer me first. If I take a shower, will you let me kiss you?”

“And… why ask… when did you ever ask to kiss before?” His beautiful eyes looked away, his voice stuttering, showing he was unsure, his delicate hands clutching Smile until the plush’s face was all squished.

So cute, so adorable, I retract my statement about only thinking about it today.

I’ll definitely do it.

“Looks like that’s a yes.”

“Then go take a shower.”

“Yes, yes.”

I went to grab a towel from the closet and draped it over my shoulder, then looked at the person climbing onto the bed, picking up a thick book to read by the lamp light. The scene before me made me smile a little.

Who would have thought that the person I used to talk with every day on the balcony could be this cute? His attitude was charming, but seeing him in person, living closely with him, I’m head over heels.

I’m pretty good, enduring this much. And he’s still good-looking too.

If he didn’t love me back, that would be a disaster.

I opened the bathroom door and hung the towel on the rack. The saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” applies here. Diew is someone who keeps things tidy; throwing a towel on the floor or hanging it on a chair is unthinkable. Since there’s a towel rack, you put it there. But if it were my room, he wouldn’t interfere much, simply put, he respects others’ decisions when he’s in their space.

Isn’t that adorable?

His beautiful eyes glanced at me for a moment before quickly looking away. Even though it was just a brief look, I could tell he was flustered. He turned his back to me and lay on his side to read, as if doing this would make me give up and not disturb him.

Crazy, letting go would be foolish. There are so many opportunities here.

I lay down on the bed, wrapping my arms around his waist. Diew just flinched from the unfamiliar touch, still the same after all these times, whether I hug, kiss, or do more, it feels like the first time, adorable every time.

“You keep asking if anyone’s been bothering me, why don’t you look at yourself?” I whispered near his shoulder before planting a kiss on his slender neck. Diew lay stiff as a board, making me chuckle.

“Look at what?”

He doesn’t even realize it, does he?

“So cute, so huggable, so kissable like this.”

After hearing my words, he went completely silent. It was clear he was embarrassed to the point of being stiff, his ears and neck turning red faster than anyone drunk. I wanted to tease him even more, so I tightened my hug a little, pressing his back against my stomach. When he had just showered, his body smelled so good I wanted to bite him, but I couldn’t.

I just pressed my nose against his shoulder, covered by his pajamas, with no response from him; he was still lying still. I glanced at the book he was reading; every line in English made my eyes blur for a moment, but it seemed like he wasn’t focusing on the book because his face was buried in the pillow, breathing softly, his cheeks bright red.

Oh shit… I was sleepy before, but now I’m not sleepy at all.

From the look of things, I knew, ‘all clear,’ no need to ask; definitely no “no entry” sign tonight.

Seeing that he wasn’t saying anything, not scolding, not hitting, I couldn’t help but smile. My right hand, which was around his waist, moved under his light blue pajamas, touching his smooth skin. How long has it been since I’ve felt this? Every time my hand glided over his soft stomach, it trembled slightly out of sync, probably because he tensed up from the coldness of my hand just out of the shower.

“Why are you so compliant today?”

He didn’t answer, still hiding his face in the pillow quietly.

“Won’t you really answer me? Can you be that harsh to me?” I whispered teasingly in the little one’s ear, before a soft moan escaped from his throat and lips.

“Actually… I was going to tell you… before you got here.”

“Tell me what?”

“Tell you that I met Phii Pee… but I knew you’d get upset… so I didn’t want to tell… in case… you drive fast, it’s dangerous.”

The stuttering and pleading tone almost drove me crazy, but calm down, man, listen to him first, you’ll do what you want to do anyway.

He’s letting you this much.

“Oh, I’m not angry anymore.”

“I… know you’re jealous… but with Phii Pee, there’s really nothing anymore, we’re just friends, really.”

“Right. Don’t worry.”

“No, Phii… I was thinking… if I saw someone patting your head, smiling at you…”

Wait a minute…

“I would probably pull you away too.”

All sounds faded, leaving only the tinkling of the wind chimes on the balcony swaying with the breeze. I was at a loss for words. As for him, from being stiff earlier, his body began to tremble slightly.

“Sorry.”

His soft, apologetic voice was so adorable. I kissed the top of his mischievous head.

So cute, insanely cute, I want to run out to the balcony right now and shout for him to stop being so cute, or I’ll die of frustration.

Even though he’s slow to express his feelings, when it comes to being affectionate, he’s the best at it. And he loves to read, the more he reads, the more he knows. When I tell him to prepare, he knows exactly how to. The trembling and stiffness aren’t from fear; if he were scared of being intimate with me, he would have said it would make me feel bad. But the tension is because his body isn’t used to being touched, simply put, he’s been alone for a long time. In the past, just a touch on the hand would make him pull back.

The hand that had paused earlier now continued its work. I moved my hand up, teasing his chest, making him squirm, noting every detail of what he likes and dislikes, his expressions. Seeing him bite his lip and breathe heavily only made me want to tease him more.

After a while, it seemed like he noticed something unusual touching his back, and he let out a little yelp.

“Why are you like this?”

Who made me like this, you little devil?

There was enough time to observe his physical reactions, from curling up to squirming when I touched his chest for a while. His heavy breathing echoed in my ear, fueling the fire that was already burning.

I pulled down the loose shirt on his body, revealing his smooth shoulder, planting gentle kisses, biting without leaving marks, my other hand moving down beneath his pants to grasp his sensitive area, making him jump.

“Ugh.”

Just a small sound escaped his throat; he had learned to control his noises well, but the more he held back, the more his soft moans next to my ear increased his sexiness by a hundredfold.

I calmed myself down, not wanting to be too rough with him, even though this kid in front of me was unintentionally teasing.

His slender hand touched mine, the one under his pants, as if he wanted to say something, but the pleasure prevented him from speaking anything other than soft moans. I looked at him with his eyes halfclosed, almost burying his face in the pillow, letting my hand move freely, making me feel even more endeared.

Because he’s not used to this kind of thing. Even though it’s not the first time we’ve touched each other, I had to zip my lips shut. I didn’t say anything during the act, better to let the emotions convey what I wanted to say; if I talked too much, I’d definitely get slapped.

But even if with not saying anything, I’ll tell you, it’s so good. It allows you to absorb every detail, from the soft moans to the sound of skin rubbing against skin, especially the reactions from his body.

I increased the pace until he curled up like a shrimp, his slender fingers digging into the back of my hand, indicating he was close to his limit, but if it ended too quickly, that wouldn’t be me. Who would let it end fast? We haven’t seen each other for so long. I paused my movements then, turned him onto his back, and pressed my lips to his small ones, kissing deeply, tasting the faint mint flavor of his toothpaste. Diew dug his nails into my shoulders, making noises of protest in his throat, as if to ask why I stopped. Even without words, I knew he was suffering.

The more he moaned, the more I wanted to kiss him to make him squirm even more. The silence in the room made the sound of our lips touching clearly audible. When I intensified the kiss, he started to protest that he couldn’t breathe, so I let him catch his breath for a moment.

After that, I kissed him again, pressing down on his lips to make it clear,

‘This one is mine.’ His soft lips would definitely be swollen by morning.

His body, which was tense like wood, began to tire; this was the most dangerous moment. Once he wasn’t tense, his eyes, his movements, his voice, everything was too much, tempting me to forget patience.

I lifted his light blue shirt, using it to pin his arms behind his head, revealing his fair skin. His cute face turned bright red, his beautiful lips tightly shut, his chest heaving irregularly, no need to say how his mood was fluctuating. I kissed from his chin down to his neck, then to his chest, teasing until he protested. That was enough.

Switching from focusing on the upper part to the lower, I pulled off his long pajamas, tossing them away without care, only focusing on the part that was so hot it was about to explode. With just a touch, the little one’s neck went limp, his lips pressed together to keep from making noise, but when I took that part into my mouth, Diew couldn’t help but let out a moan.

“Uh.”

His voice was so sweet, like Diew himself.

I always take care when using my mouth. I don’t want to cause any injury if he squirms and my teeth accidentally scrape him. Simply put, I’m very gentle, gentler than a powder puff. And the gentler I am, the more it arouses the other person, evident from the way his hips arched up, responding to each touch when feeling uncomfortable, his toes curling. I held his legs to keep them from flailing.

It didn’t take long for me to claim his body with my lips, and Diew released, his body tensing and twitching with loud, heavy breaths filling the room. He let out a soft cough and looked at me. If his hands were free, he would have grabbed a tissue to clean my mouth, but his hands were occupied. So, I had to use the back of my hand to quickly wipe off the mess on my chin.

Those round eyes watched me as I sat up, squeezing my body between his legs. Diew tightened his lips, as if he knew what was coming next.

“Not today.”

The look of relief on his face made me smile.

“Today, you’re not ready, or are you?”

He shook his head so hard his neck almost snapped. I knew he needed a lot of time to prepare if we were going to go through with it, but today both he and I were too tired, so we wouldn’t do anything too intense beyond some external touching.

He averted his gaze while I pulled the heat out from under my pants, pressing my body against his sensitive parts as he lay there panting. Once everything was in place and I was sure he was comfortable, I began to move rhythmically, rubbing against his small body which had already released earlier. Even though it was just external touching, it felt just as good.

Perhaps because this stubborn guy easily gave in to me like this, it was damn cute.

The movement sparked his passion once again; his flushed neck was a clear sign of how much he wanted it. I moved more forcefully, the arousal escalating, and he didn’t protest at all, only softly murmuring my name.

“Phii Godt… Phii Godt…”

“Yes, my good boy.”

His small lips were tightly pressed, turning purple, and I felt sorry for him, wanting him to cry out, but he wouldn’t because he was afraid others would hear. The walls were paper-thin, and there were new neighbors next door. I didn’t want to push him since he still had to live here, while I didn’t.

I moved my hands to hold both our bodies together, pouring all the longing, desire, joy, and everything else into our movements, because in the silence, the sound of our skin touching was clearly audible.

He lifted his face, moaning in his throat until I had to stop and lean down to kiss his neck. After that, I focused on releasing my own emotions. In the end, he was the first to finish, his legs tightly gripping my waist since his hands were pinned down.

He lay there, breathing heavily, not daring to look at what I held in my hand. I growled for a while before changing from holding our bodies to rubbing against him harder, the bed creaking.

Now he was writhing like a fish out of water. It was clear he was tortured because he had just released, his body not yet rested.

“Phii Godt, uh… Phii Godt… Phii”

“Just a little more, be patient.”

It seems like he can’t take it anymore that I won’t let go. Human bodies are not the same everywhere, and his body is very sensitive. On the other hand, I’m tougher than anything. Diew struggled so much that his shirt came off his arms, and he moved his hand to grab my heat, making me widen my eyes in shock.

“Diew… what are you doing?”

“You’re not… finishing this… it’s torture.”

His little hand felt so cold it gave me goosebumps, his round eyes looking elsewhere, still holding my soft hand without moving, letting me move with his hand as support.

Fuck…

This is too much… this is the first time him doing this, I’m about to lose it.

Where did he learn this from, where did he learn to do this?

He’s playing with me, he’s going to kill me!

“Are you trying to kill me!”

I increased the force of my movements until sweat dripped down onto the chest of the person beneath me, not even noticing his trembling hand, which only heightened the arousal even more. The cold air in the room did nothing to help when my own body was so hot it was almost maddening. Seeing him panting below me, I momentarily forgot to be gentle. Try being in my shoes, how gentle can you be?

The feverish body temperature showed no signs of cooling down easily. I leaned down to claim his lips again, grinding against them repeatedly, kissing along his chin, neck, and the lovely curve of his shoulder possessively.

Cute. There’s no other word to describe it but incredibly cute.

More overwhelming than a giant wave hitting the shore. If he gives in today, I bet he’ll be sore and walking funny all day tomorrow. Who told him to be this cute? How can I not be possessive?

“Diew.”

“Hmm.”

It didn’t take long before I released, accidentally collapsing onto the smaller one. The sound of our heavy breathing echoed around the room. I really admire him for not crying out loud even though his emotions were that high.

He gently patted my back.

“Tired.”

So I rolled over to lie beside him, panting like that until he handed me some tissues.

I wanted to go another round, but I was too tired, my heart pounding because of how he teased me.

We cleaned ourselves up and then flopped down to sleep. I looked at the person in my embrace; the sweet scent of his shampoo made me want to hug him tightly until I was submerged. I kissed the top of his head with a loud smack, snuggling with him lovingly, admiring his long, beautiful eyelashes, his cute nose, and his lips, which I had once said were adorable even before we met. I was half-believing, half-doubting, but when I saw him for the first time, my heart leaped out of my chest to breakdance on the floor.

He is cute, but not as feminine; he’s just cute like a rabbit, that’s what I’d say. Like a round, adorable bunny whose cuteness radiates no matter where you look. When you combine his outer cuteness with his inner charm, I can describe him as nothing but damn cute.

Since we’ve been together, there’s been almost no cause for discomfort. I’ve thought about what the future might hold, whether we would get along well given our opposing personalities, but it turned out we meshed better than expected. The main reason is probably because when I’m fire, Diew is water, and when he’s fire, I’ll calm down to be water. So, when we argue, we resolve it quickly, within five minutes.

The second reason is we don’t let emotions get the best of us. Diew always brings reason to the table when there’s dissatisfaction, and he never holds grudges; he’s open about everything, even if it takes time, he speaks his mind.

This is why I love him so much.

I don’t think about the future much. I just think I need to work hard to take care of him, to keep supporting him like this. Even when we grow old, I want to see him, even if his skin sags, I’ll still take care of him.

Isn’t that romantic? Truly.

“Phii Godt.”

“Hmm?” I groaned a response to the person in my arms. Diew squirmed a little before looking up at me.

“Are you very tired?”

The question was almost like pleading, making me smile as I leaned down to kiss his small nose.

“Tired, but happy.”

“Really?”

“Why? Worried about me, huh? Well, of course, with such a handsome husband.”

Slap

He smacked my waist with a loud sound.

“Why are you hitting me?”

“Phii Godt,” the soft voice called out again, when he acts all cute, it’s my undoing, especially when his voice is right next to my ear, it’s the peak of my life.

“Yes?”

“If I graduate, can I move into the condo with you?” He looked at me seriously, not joking.

“Of course, I want you to move in.”

He didn’t respond, just buried his face into my chest, gripping my shirt so tightly I could almost feel his nails digging in. His face turned red again, making it hard for me to look away. “Here, I can’t… make noise…”

Don’t tell me…

“It’s torture.” After saying that, he rested his head on my chest and went silent, leaving my heart racing like crazy. What was that? What did he mean by that? My brain almost crashed for a moment.

So, he wants to scream but can’t because the walls are thin.

“You’re so bold.”

He hit my waist again, making me curl up from the pain, but it was more funny than painful. He seems quiet, but he’s not messing around. And I’m the sinful one here, now I can vividly imagine him screaming loudly, begging for mercy. If he grows up more, gets ready, I’ll give him a combo. No need to get up.

Come to the condo then, you’ll definitely get to scream to your heart’s content, scream until your throat is hoarse for three days, you little thing.

“Your face is showing.”

“Showing what?”

“Lust.”

“Crazy.”

Who says lust is just on the face, it’s in the heart too.

 

    MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 1: Familiar Person (part 1)

I came to the university’s veterinary hospital for the second time, but this time it wasn’t because of young-master. I came because I found a cat hit by a car on the road and rushed to bring it to the vet.

It’s been almost an hour since the white, scruffy cat was taken to the back. When the nurse came out, I could only look at it with concern. As my gaze moved away, another nurse handed me a small towel because my shirt was smeared with blood, making the red stains on my student uniform look quite scary.

“Take it, I’m giving it to you.”

“Thank you.”

I washed my hands clean, looking at my trembling hands.

I admit, at first, I was scared because I had never encountered such a situation before when I saw the cat. Besides me, there was no one else around, the sky was already dark, with only street lights providing illumination. The cat let out a meow, seeing that it was still alive, I quickly scooped it into my arms and rushed to the hospital right away.

I sighed softly looking at my disheveled reflection in the mirror, bent down to wash my face, removing the sweat stains. As for the shirt, just using a towel wouldn’t get rid of the bloodstains, so I’d have to wear it back like this.

In my mind, I thought I should call Phii Godt, but when I opened LINE, I saw he was in a meeting.

Ever since Phii Godt graduated and went out into the wide world to work, we only see each other once a week; Phii Godt works from Monday to Saturday. Plus, his workplace is all the way at Lat Phrao, it’s not reasonable for him to drive back and forth every day.

It would be another two days before Phii Godt comes over, and I feel a bit lonely without him, but because he video calls every night, it helps alleviate some of the loneliness.

I… I’m really attached to Phii Godt now.

Before, I could easily be alone, but now if I don’t hear his voice on any given day, I feel restless.

One reason is I worry about him. Did he eat well, sleep well, is he overworking?

The second reason is I feel possessive.

And it seems like Phii Godt knows I’m possessive. That’s why he always tells me whenever someone is bothering him.

At first glance, Phii Godt seems calm, stern, but once you get to know him, he’s kind, playful, and loved by many. After graduating from university and starting work, he’s become more mature, and now his charm radiates everywhere, his fan count has grown from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands.

How could one not feel jealous?

I shook my head to clear my wandering thoughts. All I could do now was send a message to Phii Godt about the cat I found that was hit by a car, telling him I’d explain more when I get back to the room, as talking now wouldn’t be convenient. After sending the message, I looked at myself in the mirror once more before walking out of the bathroom and sitting quietly to wait.

The sound of the clock ticking mixed with the TV and the voices of staff preparing to go home. Apart from me, waiting for the test results, there was another woman sitting beside me playing on her phone. She didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, as if she was waiting for someone. Next to her was a basket with a chubby gray and white cat whose round eyes looked playful. I was watching it intently until the nurse called my name.

Even though it wasn’t my own cat, and it was some stray without an owner, I couldn’t just leave it there and ignore it; it’s not in my nature. That’s why I decided I’d be the one to pay for its treatment. I’d look after it until it fully recovers.

The nurse led me into a small, square room, the only one still lit up. “Doctor will explain the condition soon, and about the expenses, I’ll bring you the bill later.”

“Thank you.”

I bowed to thank the nurse, while glancing at the back of the doctor who was busy with something. I looked over at the cat lying unconscious on the metal table, its left leg bandaged from the ankle to the hip.

Seems like it’s safe now. Earlier, because there was so much blood, I thought it might die.

“The cat is safe now, no broken bones, just a minor tear in the hip probably from trying to dodge during the run, and…”

The doctor turned around with a clipboard in hand. He looked up at me, and we both froze for a moment.

Wait a minute…

I furrowed my brows, looking at the doctor’s face, familiar under the round glasses. He was quite taller than me, the man in the short white lab coat in front of me, this person was…

“Phii Pee…”

“Diew…”

We both muttered at the same time. I quickly averted my gaze.

Why is Phii Pee here? Judging by the lab coat, is he a vet here?

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” His soft voice still had its unique charm, calming my heart every time I heard it. I looked down at the white cat, gently stroking its fur because I didn’t know what to say.

The last time we spoke, I can’t quite remember how long ago that was. I don’t really keep track of time, but I know it’s been quite a while because my memories of him aren’t as clear as before.

“Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing well…”

“I thought you would have gone to study somewhere else.” Phii Pee spoke to me as if nothing had ever happened between us. He didn’t even ask why I had cut off communication with him, why I had blocked him on all channels, why I had severed our relationship.

“I’m glad to see you wearing the uniform of this university.”

“And why… are you here?”

“Did you forget that I’m an alumnus here? Don’t you remember that I recommended studying here?” Pee’s hand touched the cat’s head, gently stroking it; his words started to jog my memory bit by bit.

Oh, that’s right… I came to study here because Phii Pee invited me to.

A university known for its medical program, but I liked both languages and chemistry, so Pee suggested I study here in the international program. At that time, we talked about how if I got accepted, he would treat me to a meal and a movie to celebrate.

In the end, we never did that.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to help with some work.”

“Uh,” I let out a soft groan in my throat.

“The cat, did you bring it here?”

“I saw it lying by the roadside, so I picked it up.”

“Your shirt is all stained.” I didn’t see what Phii Pee was doing; my eyes were fixed on the motionless cat, but I heard the sound of fabric being shaken a few times before Pee handed me a T-shirt.

“Here, I give this to you.”

I looked up at him, frowning.

“Why give it to me?”

“Your shirt is covered in blood; if you walk out like that, people might think you’ve done something. Change into this one, you don’t have to return it.”

“But…”

“Just take it, as an apology.”

“Why apologize?”

“For betraying our friendship. I didn’t have the chance to say it back then, so I thought if I saw you again, the first thing I’d say would be ‘I’m sorry’… Honestly, I don’t expect you to forgive me. Just take the shirt, that’s enough.”

The more he acted like this, the worse I felt.

Ever since I started to let go of my prejudice against friends having feelings for each other, I’ve often come back to thinking that I was the one at fault. We had always been good friends, but when Phii Pee confessed his feelings, I cut off all contact, acting as if we had never known each other.

I remember what Phii Godt once said, “Friends… is it that easy to cut off each other?”

If I were in Pee’s place, having that kind of relationship severed, I would feel bad too.

I grabbed a large t-shirt and held it over my student uniform to cover the blood stains.

“About this cat, can you keep it in your dorm?” Phii Pee asked, leaning against the table, his warm gaze making me look away.

Just like before, he’s still as warm as ever.

“No, I can’t.”

“Then what will we do with it?”

“I don’t know either.” I still hadn’t figured out what to do.

“Then… can I have it?”

I didn’t understand what Phii Pee meant by “have it.” What does he mean by “have”?

“It’s not my cat.”

“Yes, it’s not your cat, but you saved it, and you can’t keep it. If you can’t keep it, what are you going to do, leave it by the roadside again?

Aren’t you afraid it might get hit by a car again, Diew?”

“Can you keep it then?”

“I already have one cat; adding one more isn’t a problem. Besides…”

Phii Pee walked closer. He scratched the cat’s nose a few times, and it slowly opened its eyes.

“It’s the cat you saved, just like how you once saved me.”

Phii Pee’s words made me gasp. We both fell silent, my mind processing whether it was a good idea to give this cat to him, but in the end, my answer was…

No… better not…

Phii Pee already has enough responsibilities. He has to look after his home, take care of his younger sister; giving him a cat would just add to his burden.

I picked up the cat and held it in my arms. This cat seemed quite accustomed to humans, or maybe it was just groggy from the anesthesia.

It didn’t hiss or struggle.

“Better not. I’ll try taking it back to the dorm first; maybe they’ll allow me to keep it.”

“Diew…”

“Excuse me.”

Without waiting for the nurse to bring the bill, I went to the counter and paid for the medication and treatment myself.

Even though I tried to forget the old stories, even though I thought if we met again, I wanted to say “I’m sorry,”

In the end, I didn’t dare to.

I’m such a coward.

In the end, I sat here dejectedly in front of the dorm with the white cat in a basket I got from the nurse because I didn’t want the cat to move too much or its wounds might tear open. I talked to the dorm owner, but he wouldn’t let me keep it. He said that cats and turtles are different. If I cause trouble for the other tenants, he would be in trouble too.

I didn’t argue, I accepted it willingly because I understood that keeping pets in a dorm isn’t really appropriate.

I sat looking at the disheveled cat without a solution. Right now, I could only think of one person who could help. I pulled out my phone from my back pocket after ignoring it since leaving the animal hospital, too worried about what to do with the cat to notice that Phii Godt had replied. He had also called twice.

Godzilla: Are you okay?

Wan: I’ll come to your dorm. Call me when you’re free.

I called Phii Godt back immediately, and it didn’t take long for him to answer as if he was waiting.

(“Hey?”)

“Are you coming over?”

(“Yeah, had a late meeting today, I probably won’t go to work tomorrow, I’ve been out for a while now.”)

“Uh,” I answered softly.

(“Is something wrong, little one? And how’s the cat?”)

“The cat is safe now. I brought it back to the dorm, but they won’t let me keep it, so I don’t know where to put it.”

I hesitated about whether to tell Phii Godt about Pee, but reconsidered; I’d better tell him when he gets here. If I told him while he was driving, he might hit the accelerator to a hundred and twenty, which could be dangerous.

When it comes to jealousy, Phii Godt beats me by a million to one.

When I’m jealous, I just keep it to myself, but when Phii Godt gets jealous, the spirit of Godzilla possesses him, and it’s terrifying.

(“Do you want me to help find it a home?”)

“Can you do that?”

(Take a photo for me, I’ll post it on Twitter. I’ll be there in about half an hour, wait for me, my clever one.)

“Okay, drive safely.”

(Yes, see you soon!)

“Hmm.”

(Missing you.)

Phii Godt hung up quickly, leaving me no time to respond. I sat there, scratching my neck and the back of my head out of embarrassment, before turning to look at the cat in the basket, meowing weakly as if it was out of strength.

“Sorry. I really can’t keep you.”

I opened the basket and took out my phone to take a picture of the cat. Upon closer inspection, with such a cute face, it shouldn’t be hard to find it a home, especially since it’s tame. Before I could send the picture to Phii Godt, an unfamiliar number called. I answered without giving it much thought; it might be a wrong number or maybe my mom changed her phone, because I hardly use mine, and if it weren’t for Phii Godt calling in and out, it would just be for scrolling through Twitter, playing games, setting alarms, timing things, and listening to music. That’s it.

“Hello?”

(Is this Nong Diew’s number?)

This voice…

“Phii Pee?”

(Yes, sorry, I got your number from the nurse; I wanted to talk to you but didn’t know how.)

“What’s up?”

(I want that cat. Can’t you really give it to me?)

I bit my lip tightly. Why does he want this cat so badly?

“Why do you want it so much?” Isn’t he already overwhelmed with responsibilities?

(And why don’t you want to give it to me? Haven’t you found a place for it yet?)

“How do you know I haven’t found one yet?”

(If you had, why would you be sitting in front of your dorm looking grumpy with a cat in a basket?)

I looked up in surprise; Phii Pee was standing across from me, but he wasn’t alone. He was with a woman, and if I remember correctly, she was the one who was sitting next to me at the vet hospital, playing on her phone. I’m sure I’m not mistaken because she was holding a basket with a chubby gray and white cat.

(“Can we talk for a bit? I promise not to bring up the past.”)

“I’m not worried about that.”

(“Then I’ll come over.”)

He hung up and crossed the street to me, Phii Pee sat down beside me, looking up at the sky quietly for a while.

“How did you know I was at this dorm?” I asked in confusion.

“At first, I just wanted to get your number to talk, but then I happened to see the name of the dorm.” Phii Pee laughed while looking apologetic, “I didn’t think you’d end up at the dorm I recommended.”

“I just thought it was convenient.”

“Hmm, well, that’s good then. How is it, is the food at the dorm as good as I said?”

“Yes,” I clasped my hands tightly.

“I might make you uncomfortable by coming here, but I just wanted to say thank you for everything that’s passed.”

“…”

“Do you see that woman?” The person beside me looked straight across the street where a woman was playing with her cat.

“Uh.”

“That’s Luk Kaew, my girlfriend.”

Phii Pee’s girlfriend…

“So don’t worry, I didn’t come here for that reason, but because I genuinely wanted to help.”

Phii Pee opened the basket and stroked the cat’s head; it purred in its throat, as if it knew who its savior was. It lay still, letting him scratch its head and neck. Seeing how well he got along with the cat, I knew I should let it go, but…

“Don’t you have family responsibilities to take care of?” Back then, he didn’t even dare keep one turtle, and now he wants to keep a cat that’s bigger and harder to take care of?

“Yes, but recently I’ve been able to work again. And besides, Luk

Kaew helps me with a lot of things.”

Is that so…

“You can take it then.”

The person beside me smiled happily.

“Thank you.”

“Phii Pee…” I grabbed the sleeve of the person about to walk away, making him sit back down.

If this is the last chance, I should apologize to him. If this is the last time we’ll see each other, I don’t want to keep any bad feelings inside; it’s like there’s unfinished business to resolve. So if possible, I’d rather end things with him on good terms, looking at each other, rather than parting with unresolved tension.

At least if there’s a chance to make amends, we should, right?

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize to me; I was the one in the wrong.”

“No… it was my fault. I’m sorry for not listening to your reasons, for judging you, for disappearing without hearing a word, even though I knew deep down you didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Um, it’s true that in the past I liked you, but my liking was about wanting to make you happy. So even if you didn’t like me back, I still wanted to be your friend. I cried because I was sad that you hated me.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hate you. I was afraid you’d be angry at me…”

“How could I be angry at you? I was the one who broke your trust. It’s

Diew who should be angry with me.”

“I was angry, but not anymore.”

“Thank you, for me, whether it’s today, tomorrow, or any day, Diew will always be my best friend.”

As we talked, I realized tears were streaming down my face.

Why does this always happen? When I’m upset, I never cry, but when everything turns out fine, I end up crying like this. It’s so embarrassing.

I wiped away my tears awkwardly. What I said about hating and being angry at him, once I put aside my prejudices, I realized I was never truly angry at Phii Pee. He was the first one to break through the walls I had built, becoming my first real friend.

Even though there are some things I can’t remember because it’s been a long time since we talked, there are many things I do remember.

Like how he said I saved his life when he was contemplating suicide, just by telling him he was my only friend, or how well we got along, whether it was in conversation, personality, or shared interests.

Phii Pee has always been my best friend, in the past and now.

That’s why when we fought, I felt so bad that I didn’t want to be friends with anyone else again.

“Don’t cry, you’re a brave one, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Phii Pee’s hand touched my hair, and the more he comforted me, the more I couldn’t stop crying. Seeing that I was crying harder, he let me cry until I was satisfied. He sat quietly without saying anything.

Until a shout rang out.

“Diew!”

I looked up through my tears to see Phii Godt walking towards us, his face as dark as a bear that just ate honey. Without saying a word, he grabbed me and pulled me to him while giving Phii Pee an unfriendly look.

“Phii Godt.”

“What did he do to you? Who did what to you, why are you crying?” Phii Godt almost shouted in my face. I quickly objected. He must have seen the scene where Phii Pee was patting my head, which made him this angry, even though there was nothing to it.

“There’s nothing. He… he didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you crying? Why are you sitting there letting him pat your head like that?”

The louder Phii Godt shouted, the angrier Phii Pee got. He stood up, trying to mediate.

“Sorry. I’m just a friend of Diew. I was just comforting him.”

“Who asked?” Phii Godt glared at Phii Pee, “Go up to the room now.”

Then I was grabbed by Phii Godt, who pushed me back towards the dorm. The tears that were flowing moments ago stopped abruptly; I forgot I had been sobbing, too confused about what to do first, whether to tell Phii Pee not to worry, this one’s my boyfriend, or to tell Phii Godt there’s nothing going on, that one’s my old friend.

So, I didn’t get to say goodbye to the other person with whom things were cleared up after years of misunderstanding.

A look of confusion behind round glasses was sent my way; Phii Pee seemed about to follow us, but I shook my head at him. He stopped in his tracks before shouting after us with concern.

“I’ll call you later, Diew!”

Which only added fuel to the fire for the big guy pulling me back to the room.

“Call, you want to call my wife, you piece of shit.”

Oh no, when Phii Godt gets angry, he’s scarier than anything.

    MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Special Chapter 0: Going Back Home

A shake on my shoulder woke me up. “We’re almost there.”

I looked out to see houses lined up on both sides of the road, whereas before I fell asleep, there were fields of grass on either side of the way.

“Are we there already…?”

I had fallen asleep without realizing it. I intended to keep Phii Godt company while he drove, so we went to buy coffee, but after drinking it, I fell asleep with my head down, and when I woke up, we were already in the village.

The black sedan stopped in front of a two-story modern-style house, and I quickly opened the car door and pushed through the gate. The first thing I saw was the back of an elderly man standing by the fish pond in the garden, humming his favorite song happily. Seeing that, I rushed over and hugged him out of longing.

“Grandpa~”

“Well, why are you so early, you little rascal? I thought you’d arrive around ten or eleven at night.” Grandpa laughed before turning to face me. Before he could say anything else, he froze, his eyes under his square glasses focusing on the person behind me who was walking in.

“Hello, Grandpa.”

“Oh, good, good.” Grandpa looked at my face and whispered softly, “A friend?”

“No.”

“Oh. Who is he then?”

“My boyfriend.”

The atmosphere at the dinner table was dead silent, with only the sound of utensils clinking. Tonight’s dinner was simple home-cooked dishes like omelet, stir-fried water spinach, and fried pork ribs, all made by Mom. The fried pork ribs were Grandpa’s favorite, and he would always compliment how tasty they were, but since we revealed that Phii Godt was my boyfriend, no one said anything. Both Mom and Grandpa kept their eyes on their rice bowls as if expecting something to sprout from them.

As for Phii Godt, although he’s usually very talkative, never stopping, and good at being mischievous, he was quiet and reserved in front of elders, sitting still, almost blending into the chair from his awkwardness, even hesitant to eat.

Though the atmosphere felt tense, it was a good sign that Mom didn’t start yelling. She’s the type to speak her mind if she doesn’t like something, not one to keep things bottled up. Grandpa, on the other hand, didn’t look stern or displeased; instead, he pushed the omelet dish towards Phii Godt, seemingly concerned that he might not reach it.

“You act like you’re close.” Mom teased Grandpa for passing the omelet to Phii Godt, and the big guy quickly put his spoon down.

If you wanted to see Phii Godt out of his element, today provided plenty of opportunities.

“Well, he’s my grandson’s boyfriend. How can I treat him like a stranger?”

“Be careful, you might spoil my grandson rotten.”

“With just one grandchild, who are am I going to please? Are you crazy?”

“That’s the crazy one, Dad.”

“No, you’re the crazy one. It’s good that the grandchild has such a big boyfriend. If anyone teases him, he can protect him.”

“Who would tease him? Don’t you think this big guy might tease

Nong Diew?”

“You’re delusional. If he teased him, how could the grandchild like him?”

Exactly, haven’t you heard of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’, Dad? Who knows if he was forced to be his boyfriend or not?”

Phii Godt actually broke out in a sweat and smiled dryily to the grandmother.

“And you, do you like him?” Mom turned to ask me. I nodded slightly in response. “Now tell me why you like him.”

“Do people need a reason to like each other?”

“Dad, can you stop for a moment? I want to talk to my son.”

“I like him because he’s patient and tries hard. He’s my hero.”

My answer made both my mom and grandpa, who were arguing, fall silent for a moment. I turned to look at Phii Godt, who looked back at me with a surprised expression. He probably didn’t expect me to speak so directly because I’m usually shy and stammering around him, taking a lot of time to think before speaking.

We had discussed introducing ourselves to the family many times. The topic of boyfriends is quite delicate, especially since we’re both guys. But since Phii Godt said not to worry about his parents hating me, I didn’t want him to worry that my grandparents would hate him either. My grandparents have enough reason not to chase him out of the house, and they use a rational approach to discuss matters.

I dared to talk about this with my family because mom and grandpa aren’t strangers, and it’s better than keeping it a secret and them finding out later. Grandpa has always taught me to tell him everything, and from childhood to adulthood, I’ve never lied to them. “So if you don’t like him, it’s okay… but I like him.”

Mom let out a high-pitched screech.

“Look. Look at him, teaching the grandchild to be selfish. Look at what he’s saying, isn’t this forcing me to like him?”

“But grandpa told me to speak directly.”

“It’s true what the grandchild says. If you don’t like him, what can you do? In the end, you’ll give in to your child anyway.”

“Dad! Here you are, siding with the grandchild, that’s why he’s like this.”

“And what if I do? Is there a problem?”

“Dad! Look at Diew, he’s teasing me!”

“Stop arguing, please, it’s embarrassing.” I interjected before the two could escalate further. Even though I knew Grandpa and Mom never really fought, they just teased each other, and in five minutes, they’d forget about it!!

“And you, how old are you? Have you graduated yet?”

With no one siding with her, Mom turned to question Phii Godt instead.

Last semester, I came back to Phuket alone because Phii Godt had to deal with internship paperwork. This semester, coinciding with his graduation and the completion of his internship… I decided to bring Phii Godt to meet Grandpa and Mom. Phii Godt didn’t object to the idea.

I was a bit worried that Mom and Phii Godt might not get along, but after dinner, after we cleared and washed the dishes, and after spending nearly half an hour setting up the guest room, when I came out to the living room, I saw Phii Godt and Mom laughing, having moved on to another topic. Plus, there was a plate of snacks; if Mom didn’t like him, there wouldn’t even be any snacks.

“They’ve gotten close so quickly.”

I whispered to Grandpa, who had just come out of the bathroom.

Grandpa peeked at his daughter, making a tired face.

“Well, she’s just like her mother.”

“Was Grandma like this?”

“She complained a lot, but she always indulged her children. Whatever makes them happy is her happiness too. And you, how did you two end up together? Tell me all about it.”

“He’s my next-door neighbor, Grandpa.”

“And what’s his personality like?”

“At first, I thought he was talkative and annoying.” Grandpa furrowed his brows. “But he’s a good person. He tried to be patient to talk to me from the balcony without seeing my face, trying to be a part of my world. Grandpa knows how hard that is.”

Grandpa nodded in agreement. Since he raised me, I’ve never had a single friend.

“When I asked you before if I had to step out of my comfort zone to talk to someone, it was about him.”

“Oh, this guy?”

“Yeah, but people in relationships need to watch each other over the long term, Grandpa. It’s not like he’ll always be like this.” In the future, Phii Godt might change, who knows? These things depend on time and care.

“It’s good that you think like this; grandpa won’t have to worry.”

Grandpa squeezed my shoulder lightly, taking my hand in his with concern, “I’ve talked with your mom about having a boyfriend. I couldn’t imagine whether you’d have one or stay single. If you stay single, that’s fine, you can be a friend to me and your mom. But if you have a boyfriend, like I said, I want someone who can protect you.

Grandpa has taken good care of you.”

“I didn’t think I’d have a boyfriend either.” I mostly stay in my room, and life is already fulfilling. Even now, I’m puzzled about how I ended up with Phii Godt, and he’s such a handsome guy too.

“By the way, does your boyfriend like turtles?”

Grandpa asked with a serious look, and for turtle conservationists, turtles come first.

“He likes them. He enjoys playing with young-master.”

“Good, I won’t accept anyone who doesn’t like turtles.”

After saying that, he walked into the study room, leaving me to look at the two people laughing at each other at the dining table. Seeing Phii Godt smile after sitting quietly for so long made me feel a bit relieved.

Both mom and Phii Godt are the same type of people who love to talk, enjoy socializing. Having them sit and stare at each other for a long time in a battle of nerves wouldn’t be their style; they need to open up and talk to see if they click, if there’s anything they need to adjust to each other.

I was happy to see that mom and Phii Godt gelled quickly, pleased that mom seemed happy talking with Phii Godt because I don’t talk much with her. Mom has lots of friends and gets lonely easily, while I have few friends and talk so little you could count my words.

Seeing this, it was heartwarming to see both of them happy, chatting about various topics.

“I’m glad that your mom is okay with me dating him,” Phii Godt said, playing with his hands, showing his nervousness.

“Overthinking. If I wasn’t okay, it might be about your personality, which you’d have to observe over time. But if it’s about two guys, I don’t care about that. It’s even better that someone can take care of him. Nong Diew has been raised without much pressure from us since he was little; he can do what he wants, what makes him happy. I don’t like to control my child. I just want him to have some friends because I’m afraid he’ll be lonely.”

“Yes.”

“He might be a bit selfish, but he’s actually a good kid. But how about your parents? Are they okay with Nong Diew?”

My parents are quite open-minded, they raised me with freedom. They don’t care who I date as long as I can take care of myself, which is enough for them.”

“That’s good. Mom doesn’t want Nong Diew to worry about these things. My son has always been a deep thinker since he was little.”

As they talked, it turned into mom telling Phii Godt stories from my childhood, like how I was indifferent to my kindergarten teacher to the point where the teacher complained about my silence, or how I was teased by friends until grandpa had to go to school about it, and various mischievous deeds that gave mom and grandpa headaches.

Nothing compares to the time right after Dad passed away when I was still expecting every evening that Dad would drive back home. I would often hear him, telling Grandpa and Mom that he had come back. But they thought because I was a child, I could see ghosts. A few days later, Mom brought monks to chant, put a protective talisman on the front door, as if they were afraid Dad would come to take me away.

In reality, I had just heard things, and Mom only found out a few years ago when we talked about childhood antics. She was so mad she didn’t talk to me for a week. Well, I was only five then. I had even forgotten about it if Mom hadn’t dug it up.

I stood listening to their laughter until Phii Godt turned to meet my gaze. Seeing his smile made me feel embarrassed that he had to learn about my mischievous childhood deeds, so I quickly spun around and went back to my room.

He must like it, huh? I’ve never told Phii Godt about my childhood.

My life is so mundane; apart from family matters, I don’t know what else there is to tell.

I turned on the light for young-master’s fish tank and sat down on the bed, picking up a novel to read while playing soft music in the background. Even at home, I like to stay in my room, reading, watching movies, listening to music, just like at the dorm. Occasionally, I’d go play with the turtles at Grandpa’s workplace or rarely go to the beach.

But rarely, because I don’t like the heat.

Not long after, the door opened, and Phii Godt came in, closing the door with a loud sigh.

“I thought your mom wouldn’t like me for sure.”

“Why would you think that?” I looked up from my book at him unpacking his clothes. Phii Godt draped a towel over his shoulder and walked to turn on the bathroom light.

“I don’t know, I just thought she must be very protective of you.”

By the time I was fifteen, Mom let me come home by myself.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Then you mean…”

“With a son as cute as you, anyone would be protective.”

After he said that, he disappeared into the bathroom, and not long after, I heard the shower running, leaving me sitting there with my face flushed from his words. The one who’s protective because of my cuteness isn’t Mom… it’s you. Mom worries because I’m slow at doing things, more afraid that I’ll fall behind others.

Phii Godt didn’t take long in the shower and came to sit beside me on the bed. Not knowing what to do, he leaned over to see what I was reading. I looked up at him; his beautiful eyes played with the light from the fish tank, reflecting a shiny gleam that I couldn’t help but stare at.

“Go to sleep. Aren’t you tired?”

After driving for so long, I felt tired just sitting still, and the driver barely got any rest.

“I’ve always wondered how you were raised, why you turned out to be such a sweet, well-mannered kid. After meeting your mom and grandpa, I understand why you’re so good.”

“I’m not that good. I was quite mischievous when I was younger.”

Phii Godt laughed. From what mom told him, he must now understand how much of a troublemaker I was.

“And whose personality did you inherit?”

“From my dad and grandpa.”

“But I think you got a bit from your mom too.”

“Where exactly?” I put the book down beside me and turned to talk seriously with Phii Godt instead. The big guy rested his head on my lap, looking up at me with a thoughtful expression.

“The part where you’re decisive.”

“Huh?”

“Do you remember when we set the rule of talking before sleeping?”

“I remember.”

“I thought, wow, this kid is so decisive. No stranger would set such a rule and expect it to be followed.”

“I think at that time, I was more selfish.” I muttered while lightly rubbing my nose, “Back then, I thought if we didn’t meet face-to-face, I’d feel better, and I didn’t care if you followed the rule because if you didn’t, I would just stop talking.”

See, I just said you’re decisive, very determined.”

“You have to thank yourself for agreeing to follow that rule.”

“I don’t know, for me, setting that rule wasn’t selfish at all.” Phii Godt’s hand moved to gently touch my cheek. He caressed my face tenderly, just like the first time we touched.

“I thought, if I could do it, what would happen?”

“You’ve always been optimistic.”

Phii Godt’s thumb touched my lips, stroking them in a way he liked. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but when he gave me a slight smile, all the heat in the world seemed to gather on my face.

“It’s good. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gotten to be the boyfriend of someone as cute as you.”

I pretended to look away; the more we made eye contact, the deeper I fell.

“Always saying I’m cute.”

I caught his mischievous thumb, then lightly kissed the tip of it.

“It’s you who’s cute.”

Phii Godt froze and widened his eyes, his ears turning red, indicating his embarrassment. His hand then held mine, and he kissed it affectionately.

“Look at you, grown up and good at flirting.”

“I’m not.”

“Here’s the evidence.” He showed the thumb I had kissed, but before we could say anything more, there was a knock at the door. In just a fraction of a second, the door was opened by Grandpa, and Phii Godt jumped up so quickly that his head hit my chin hard.

“Ouch!”

It hurt!!!

I lay back, holding my chin silently, with tears welling up from the sharp pain. The one at fault let out a dry laugh towards Grandpa, probably scared that he would get caught for lying on my lap moments ago.

“Oh, what’s wrong with you, Diew?”

Grandpa had come at the perfect moment, and Phii Godt had forgotten to lock the door; my chin was all sore now.

“Oh, he just has a stomachache, Grandpa. Maybe he ate too fast.”

Stomachache, huh…

“Are you okay, Diew? Should I get some medicine?”

I shook my head at Grandpa, unable to speak due to the pain in my chin. When Phii Godt’s head hit my chin, my teeth clashed with a loud clack in my head, leaving me dizzy.

“Okay, okay, I came to ask if you want to go to the center with me tomorrow.”

“The center?” Phii Godt asked with a confused tone, but soon he remembered, “The turtle conservation center?”

“Yes, let’s go together.”

“Sure.”

“But if you’re not better from the stomachache by ten tomorrow, let me know, okay?”

“Okay, good night, Grandpa.”

“Oh oh, sweet dreams Nong Diew, if you can’t sleep, you can knock on my door, I’ll give you some medicine.”

“Uh.”

The door closed, Phii Godt quickly got up from the bed to lock the door, then he rushed back to me and gently stroked my chin while blowing softly.

“Oh oh, I’m sorry. It doesn’t hurt, right?”

Doesn’t hurt, my ass. After that slap.

I glared at him.

“Why don’t you try getting hit once, then you’ll know if it hurts or not.”

“Mean, where does it hurt? Does it hurt a lot?”

“Here, it hurts a lot.”

Phii Godt moved closer, slightly lifted my chin, and kissed the tip of my chin, making me flinch.

“Phii Godt…”

Why kiss my chin like this?

Even though I called out his name in protest, Phii Godt didn’t listen. This time, he moved his lips up to press a kiss on my lips, lingering there, before pushing me down to lie on the bed and pinning both my wrists to the bed.

The heavy breathing from the person above made me lose myself in the kiss that was more than just a touch of lips. Now, it was filled with desire. All I could do was moan softly, my breath ragged as it followed the rhythm set by the person above. The gentler Phii Godt was, the more my arousal heightened.

“Phii Godt… uh.”

In the brief moment my lips were free, I quickly protested, but instead of stopping, Phii Godt kissed me even more passionately. This time, I could barely find my senses; I only knew that if Phii Godt didn’t stop now, the emotions rising wouldn’t calm down easily.

“Phii Godt.”

Finally, he released my lips, his warm breath lingering beside my cheek. The big guy laughed, seeming to enjoy teasing me.

“I’m telling you, if this wasn’t at your home but at the condo, or if it was at the dorm, you wouldn’t get away.”

Instead of letting me go free, Khun Godzilla hugged me and lay down on the narrow bed together, even though I had already made the bed for him. He refused to go down to sleep, instead, he lay on top of me like this. How could I dare to make him go down to sleep?

I nestled my face against the broad chest of the person beside me, exhaling gently, the heat still lingering on my face, my heart still pounding loudly like a drum in my chest. But I didn’t want to move away.

Because lying next to this man was so warm, warm enough that we hardly needed a blanket.

The morning birdsong indicated a clear day with a bright sky and gentle sunlight. I walked over to the turtle nursery, where the small turtles were swimming around in the water. I looked over at Phii Godt, who was chatting with my grandfather.

Because Phii Godt is kind, cheerful, and good at talking, he managed to become friendly with my family in less than twenty-four hours. Before we left the house this morning, my mother even packed some snacks for him.

Maybe he’s loved more than me now.

I stood there, chin on my hands, watching the turtles for a long while, thinking this and that. Not long after, Phii Godt came to stand beside me.

“Wow, this is the young-master gang, isn’t it?”

“Do you like turtles?”

I asked him softly. Since we’ve been together, I’ve never asked if Phii Godt liked turtles. He never showed any signs of dislike towards the young-master; in fact, he often sat and chatted with him, so I assumed he didn’t hate them.

“I like them, they’re quite cute.”

“In the past, my father really loved turtles.”

When I mentioned my father, Phii Godt’s smile faded. We stood there watching the small turtles swimming in the clear pond. We weren’t allowed to touch the turtles in the nursery because our hands might be dirty and affect their health.

“I’ve never told you about my father, until Wan asked who I got my personality from. I answered, my father and grandfather.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay.”

“I want to.”

Thinking back to the past, the reason my father got along well with my grandfather was because they shared similar interests, unlike my mother who didn’t like turtles at all. As a child, she was bitten by a turtle, which left a lasting impression. Even now, she never goes near the turtles in our home pond.

“My dad once said that turtles are creatures that live long, for hundreds of years, because I wanted my dad to live for a hundred years. So I bought a turtle from a temple fair for my dad, but I didn’t know that turtle was sick.”

Phii Godt moved closer until our arms were touching. I knew he was worried because I had to talk about the past.

But I wasn’t sad anymore.

“Mom said that on the day that turtle died, my dad had an accident. Dad didn’t die then, but he died in the hospital because they couldn’t save him in time, even though he had always been the one saving lives. But on that day, no one could save him.”

I didn’t know why mom still hates turtles to this day, whether it’s because of childhood memories or because of that turtle.

“After that, I never thought of buying another turtle from the market, until recently when grandpa was the one who gave me ‘young-master’ to take care of. Grandpa didn’t say where he got young-master from, just told me to take good care of him. So I cherished and loved young-master a lot.”

Phii Godt’s warm hand rested on my head, gently rubbing to comfort me.

“Do you remember when young-master was sick, and I felt bad… it made me think of dad.”

“It’s not wrong to think of him, but if dad is watching, he would want you to smile more, Wan.”

I smiled at the person next to me while holding his hand.

“Do you know, you remind me a lot of my dad?”

“Hmm?”

“My dad was the one who brought laughter to our family all the time. After he passed away, I didn’t smile for anyone anymore. You were the first person in years that I smiled for because you told me my smile was beautiful.”

Yes, because of those words from him, I felt like I wanted to smile more, to smile every day. Even if smiling all the time might seem crazy, whenever I’m with Phii Godt, I want to smile for him.

“And when you make mom and grandpa smile, I feel even more that you’re just like dad.”

“Then, I’ll stay by your side, make you smile, make your mom and grandpa smile often.”

His big hand held mine, not too loose, not too tight, but with the certainty that he would never let go. I held Phii Godt’s hand in return, the warmth from his hand undeniably enveloping my heart with warmth.

I know in the future we might have disagreements, some things might not go as planned, or some things might not work out, but I don’t want to let go of his hand, because Phii Godt is both my smile and my happiness from the first day, today, and into the future.

“Does that one has color on it too?”

Phii Godt pointed to a small turtle with green spots on it.

“Do you want to name it?”

“Is that allowed? Won’t it lose its color as it grows?”

“I don’t know either, but if we come back next time, it should be grown.”

“Do you have any name in mind? We’ve got Young-Master, Smile, what should this one be?”

Hmm. I stood there thinking for a long time.

“Godzilla,” I mumbled the specific name.

“Why use my name for a turtle?”

“It’s cute, and when we come back, we’ll see how big your Godzilla has gotten.”

“You want to see, but you didn’t say so. My Godzilla is going to be huge.”

“I am talking about turtles!” I turned to tease him, getting a playful smile in return. I looked at the turtle with small green spots on its back, swimming among its friends. Even though it was just tiny spots, they stood out from all the others in the pond.

It’s true that I’ve always been afraid that if I give someone a turtle as a gift, my father’s nightmare would come back to haunt me. But now, I’m not afraid at all. If this little Godzilla is a gift for Phii Godt,

I hope that every year when we come back here, Phii Godt will be standing next to me, holding my hand like this.

For a long time, long enough to see this little turtle grow big.

“If it grows up, I’ll bring young-master to live with Godzilla.”

“And who’s the male, who’s the female then?”

I nudged the person beside me.

“My young-master is fierce, you know.”

“Oh really, can it be as fierce as mine, huh?”

“Crazy.”

I pulled away from the playful person and walked off before hearing the laughter chasing after me. I looked up at the bright sky of today, clouds drifting by casting shadows over our bodies, a cool breeze brushing against my face, making the mobiles hanging on the poles chime.

Instead of walking on, I stopped and waited until Phii Godt caught up to walk beside me.

And then we both walked on together.

We just kept walking together.

“But, will your family really be okay with me?” Hearing Phii Godt talk to his mom about Wan brought this concern back to my mind. No matter how many times I asked, Phii Godt always gave the same answer, ‘They’re totally okay with it,’ but I’ve never actually met his parents face to face.

“Oh, wait, I’ll video call my mom.”

After saying that, he immediately started a video call with his mom. I was at a loss, wait… you just decide to call like that?!

It didn’t take long for Phii Godt’s mom to answer, and his dad was sitting beside her. It looked like they were both interested in something.

I had just seen Phii Godt’s mom for the first time, and I could immediately tell that Phii Godt had inherited his eyes from her. “Mom.”

(“What, why call?”), Phii Godt’s mom spoke curtly to her son.

“This is my boyfriend.” He adjusted his arm so that the phone could capture both of us in the frame. I quickly raised my hands to pay respects to Phii Godt’s mom. She leaned closer to the screen, scrutinizing me for a moment, making me swallow audibly.

(“Oh. He’s cute, is this the one you mentioned?”)

“This is him, you act like there are many.”

(“Bring him over, take good care of him, don’t embarrass us, understand?”)

“Yes, ma’am.”

(“When you have time, bring him to meet me.”)

“Yes, ma’am.”

(“If that’s all, I want to watch TV.”)

She ended the call. As for me, I stood there with my eyebrows furrowed. Could it really be this easy? When I turned to look at Phii Godt, who was humming a tune and smiling happily, my doubts only grew.

“Is it really this easy?”

“It’s easy. I chat with mom every day, I know exactly what you’re like, my parents aren’t old-fashioned. As long as you’re a good partner, supportive, and take care of each other, that’s all they need.”

“Chat… what did you tell your mom about me?”

“Well… I sent her your picture, told her I like this one, isn’t he cute?

Mom said you’re cute, with a nice nose and mouth, good facial features. You don’t look like my son at all, he’s so big.”

Gasping for air like a fish out of water,

“I said you likes to read books. You don’t like going out, you like taking care of turtles, watching series, doing quiet things in your room. You don’t drink alcohol, doesn’t go out causing trouble, studies hard, and is very good at it too. Your studies internationally, chemistry as well, um, what else…”

Is there anything more? It seems like you’ve covered almost everything.

“Good attitude, speaks well, has manners, and…”

I listened intently to what Phii Godt was going to say next.

“I want to protect you.”

“…”

“Want to make you happy.”

“…”

“Want to tell you I love you every day.”

“Is that what you told mom?” I looked away, Phii Godt placed his hand on my head, just like the first day we met.

“I told her once.”

“…”

“I love you.”

“…”

“Muah muah.”

“Yuck.”

I hate his “muah muah” the most, it gives me goosebumps, seriously.

   MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Epilogue Chapter : Because Your Smile Is More Charming Than Anyone’s.

“And after that… Will told Clark… do you know what, Clark… you…

“Hmm?”

“…ah… are…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t… don’t look at me like that.”

“But you told me to look.”

I pushed the face of the person lying on the bed away until I heard a chuckle.

Sigh.

I exhaled softly, covering my face with the book to hide the flush of heat caused by his sharp gaze. When he looks at me, what should be fluent speech turns into stuttering.

“You can take a break.”

“Uh,” I replied with a tired moan in my throat.

Since starting my third year, there’s one thing I’ve been trying to achieve: speaking fluently in front of others.

No one forces me to do it. I just want to try changing something, like thanking the staff at 7-Eleven while looking them in the eye, starting conversations with classmates, trying to make eye contact with the teacher and friends during presentations.

It’s incredibly hard for an anxious kid like me. My grandfather once consulted a friend who’s a psychiatrist about this issue. The doctor said it depends on mental state; yes, stuttering when anxious can go away, for instance, if you feel relaxed or comfortable with someone, you’ll speak smoothly, but once you feel uneasy, it comes back.

There are several ways to help with this, one of which is practicing reading aloud clearly, using long sentences in front of others.

But where in my life am I surrounded by many people who would sit and listen to me read without getting bored or falling asleep? There’s only one person, the big guy lying on the bed, staring at me.

For this reason, Phii Godt has become an essential assistant in my practice. If I can speak fluently under his gaze, everything else should become easy because his eyes make me so nervous and embarrassed that my speech falters every time.

“Phii Godt.”

“Hmm?” Phii Godt propped his chin up to look at me, slightly tilting his head.

“With that serious face, what’s wrong?”

“I… still can’t read fluently.” I scooted up to sit next to him on the bed, then lay on my side, looking at his honey-colored arm which seemed a bit lighter, probably because he’s been working in airconditioned rooms and hasn’t been out in the sun. Phii Godt lay down to stare at my face in return.

“You don’t have to force it; this way is cute too.” His warm hand pressed against my cheek, gently stroking it.

No matter how many years the person in front of me ages, one thing that never changes is the look in his eyes when he gazes at me.

Warm, yet filled with playfulness.

“I… want to speak more fluently, want to try changing some things.”

If it were before, Phii Godt would have said I didn’t need to change anything, that how I am is fine. But as he’s grown older, Phii Godt doesn’t speak his thoughts as directly. He tends to support what I’m trying to achieve rather than discouraging it. If I say I’m giving up, he’ll say it’s okay, at least I tried.

One day I might lose my character because he’s been too indulgent with me.

I’m afraid I might become too self-centered, making him feel uncomfortable.

“If I sit and watch, you might get too nervous. How about reading it to Biu?” Phii Godt suggested his female colleague who works at the same place.

“Phii Biu… is terribly busy.”

“Busy with what, she’s at the pub at 3 am, only gets back to the condo by 5 am.”

“She needs to let loose sometimes… from all that stressful work.”

“Stressful what, she just sits there gossiping all day,” grumbled the big guy, also showing his displeasure by making a face, “Besides, I don’t want to go. The pub is too loud, it’s better if I stay with you.”

After saying that, he nuzzled his head into my arm, clinging to it in a cute manner.

The giant Godzilla from that day has now turned into a big golden retriever today.

Come to think of it, since we’ve known each other, Phii Godt has seriously given up drinking, rarely seen drinking with work friends, and never getting drunk like he did back in school days. If he wants to drink something, a can of beer would be his choice, and he would only drink it at the condo or in my room. He said he wants to keep his health, doesn’t want anything to happen to him, doesn’t want to leave me alone, doesn’t want me to become a widower. He cares.

I began to understand what Phii Biu often complains about, that Phii

Godt is becoming more like an old man attached to his wife every day.

A little drink doesn’t hurt, going out with friends, bonding with colleagues, but I didn’t dare to say it. He feels comfortable this way. I don’t want to contradict him; it’s better this way, so I don’t have to worry about him getting drunk and causing trouble for Phii Biu to take care of.

“If so, I have one method, do you want to try it?”

“Method?”

“Yes, I used to do it in middle school. It might help, but if it’s forced, you don’t have to do it. You can just talk to me.”

I grabbed the hem of the oversized T-shirt of the guy in front of me.

Although I was slightly hesitant, I nodded in agreement.

“I… want to try.”

The car stopped in front of the Autism Foundation. I opened the door and got out, squinting a bit as I met the sunlight filtering through the leaves of the large tamarind tree, Ton. My hands were sweaty. Phii Godt walked off in another direction.

The clock now showed half past three in the afternoon. The sound of chatter came from not far ahead; you could see about ten children being led by caregivers, walking out from a room towards a hexagonal gazebo with a dark green roof. The area was surrounded by a colorful flower garden.

The children sat down neatly at first, but soon the line broke. However, they remained under the green roof, not running far from the area. Some sat still, looking around with curiosity, some rocking back and forth, making noise or being playful because they couldn’t stay still.

These were special children.

Phii Godt came back to stand beside me after finishing his conversation, placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Ready?”

I was ready, had been since Phii Godt mentioned we were coming here. I even searched and prepared several storybooks.

I took a deep breath, gripping the storybook tightly, gathering all my courage to walk with the tall guy. When we entered the gazebo, the female caregiver gave a smile. She clapped her hands a couple of times, giving a brief introduction.

“Alright, kids, today he’s going to tell us a story. Listen carefully, everyone.”

“Yes!” The responses were lively and full of life.

I positioned myself in front of the more than ten children, swallowing hard, their bright eyes looking back at me with excitement to hear the story. I inhaled deeply, looking up at Phii Godt for encouragement, receiving a beautiful smile that made my heart race.

“To… today… I’ll tell you a story…”

My speech still stuttered like a radio losing signal, but the children’s reactions weren’t of furrowed brows or questions about what was wrong, what condition I might have, or why I spoke disjointedly. Their faces weren’t full of confusion; instead, they were filled with smiles, their eyes sparkling.

Seeing those eyes, I began to tell the story.

The first story I picked up was an easy, light-hearted tale; the Frog Prince was the first fairy tale I heard from my grandfather, making me feel more connected to it than to other stories. Once upon a time, a prince was cursed to become a frog, and he could only return to human form when kissed by true love. The Frog Prince did everything in his power to find that woman.

For me, the Frog Prince fairy tale has a different storyline from the ordinary Frog Prince. It’s about a Frog Prince who must put effort into learning, understanding, and making the woman fall in love with him in his frog form, looking beyond the exterior to the heart, to the true essence of the prince. It’s a Frog Prince who must take time on his journey, not one who gets everything easily.

Throughout my storytelling, apart from the children sitting quietly, some moved to sit beside me, surrounding me with small bodies. They were interested in the illustrations in the storybook, the colors of the frog, the sky, and the image of the beautiful woman. The kids wrapped themselves around me, and when they heard laughter, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh along.

I had never done something like this before. Once I started doing it… it felt like some kind of happiness was enveloping my heart.

When I was narrating the story, speaking stutteringly and slowly, I would sneak glances at Phii Godt from time to time. The smile on Phii Godt’s face was warmer than ever. I wanted to thank him, grateful that he brought me here, happy that I got to experience life outside a bit. Being among the children didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all; instead, I felt so good I almost wanted to cry.

So this is how it feels, because all this time, people have only given me happiness, so I didn’t know how good it feels to be the one giving happiness to others.

These children were abandoned just because they were different from other kids. They crave love from their family, so when someone comes to give them treats, tell stories, or organize activities, they rush towards it, hugging, snuggling, and laughing happily. They need warmth; even as we grow into adults, we still need someone’s embrace. They’re still so small; of course, they need hugs to show that someone is still by their side.

Four or five children came close, hugging my arms and legs. Besides the children surrounding me, some seemed fascinated by Phii Godt’s height and his strong arms, which could lift the little ones into the air as if they were flying in the sky. Around us, there were children, laughter, smiles, and happiness until time ran out.

That moment of joy was so brief, but the smiles of those children, I will never forget.

I stood watching until the last child disappeared into the room, waving goodbye to them, then turned to walk back to the car and buckled up.

Silence settled between us as if what just happened was merely a dream.

After a while, we looked at each other and smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Whenever you’re tired or bored, you can come again, I can bring you here anytime.”

“Yeah,” I murmured softly to the person beside me.

“Diew.”

“Hmm?” I turned slightly to look at Phii Godt’s profile; he wasn’t looking at me, his gaze focused outside.

“I knew I wasn’t wrong to like you.”

His words brought all the warmth to my face. I averted my gaze to look outside the window.

“What… saying that out of nowhere?”

“When you smiled at the kids, it was so bright, you know? It made me think, why is this kid so kind-hearted, what made him like this, what does he eat to be this cute? Did you fall from heaven or something?”

I pushed Phii Godt’s arm away hard. “Stop talking like that.”

“Human or angel, huh, or maybe a little deity?”

“Phii Godt!”

“Embarrassed, huh? Making you embarrassed.” He laughed, clearly enjoying teasing me. “About speaking, don’t overthink it, take it slow, you know?”

“Uh.”

“What’s ‘uh’? What are you saying, huh? Turn here, turn.”

The big guy turned me to face him, then pressed his lips gently against mine, catching me off guard, making me jump. His soft lips moved delicately on mine, slowly tugging at my heart, so light it made me hold my breath.

Phii Godt pulled his lips away. Not worried about anyone seeing because the car windows were so dark he once got pulled over by the police. His warm breath brushed my cheek. Even though he pulled back, it was just less than a foot, as if he didn’t want to let go.

“Are you happy?”

“Uh.”

“You need to be happy every day, you know? I want you to be happy every day, smile like this every day.”

“Yes.”

“Your smile is cuter than anyone’s.”

I reached out to touch Phii Godt’s cheek, and the big guy nestled his face into my hand.

Your smile is something I’m enamored with too.

“You… have to be happy… every day too.”

After that, every Sunday, the day Phii Godt had off, he would take me to tell stories to the children. One week passed, two weeks passed, until the fifth week when Phii Godt wasn’t available to go with me. So, I went alone, told the stories, and returned to my room as usual, took a shower, finished the pending work, and sat reading aloud on the bed with youngmaster waddling around in his square box.

The sound of the key turning came from the front of the room just past midnight; the tall figure opened the door and entered.

“Oh, you haven’t gone to bed yet?” Phii Godt called out in surprise. I shook my head in response.

The big guy put his personal items on the fridge, threw his socks into the laundry basket, stood there checking his phone while muttering about this and that, as one does after working on a day off. Tomorrow, he would take a day off. Luckily, I didn’t have any morning classes tomorrow, just a lab session in the afternoon, so I didn’t need to go to bed early.

I looked up from the book in my hand, turning my attention to the person who could freely come and go in this room. He said he was held up by a meeting, and there was traffic in the city too.

“What’s with everyone and Sundays?”

Phii Godt took off his belt, throwing it over a chair, then opened the fridge to grab green tea and drank it down. After that, he grabbed a towel from the wardrobe and disappeared into the bathroom.

He must really be tired. Normally, he would need a lot of convincing to take a shower.

It didn’t take long before Khun Godzilla came out of the bathroom. Without a word, he flopped onto the bed, scooted over to hug my waist, and buried his face there, making a cute, sleepy noise.

“Coming home to sleep and hug is so comforting.”

His soft hair made it impossible for me not to put my hand in it, gently ruffling his hair playfully until Phii Godt looked up.

“How was today?”

He shifted to lie on his side, facing me, with his legs clamped around the Godzilla plushie.

“It was good.”

“Just good?”

“I spoke more fluently… uh… a little.”

Phii Godt smiled, “Very good.”

Actually, today I met a woman who happened to bring snacks for the children at the foundation. She listened to me tell the story until the end, and we chatted a bit afterwards. There was one sentence that kept repeating in my head since I came back:

“Let’s not think they will judge us; think that what we do comes from our heart.”

I used to think I might look ridiculous to others when I stutter, but after going to the foundation and telling stories to the kids, it helped me appreciate myself more, realizing there’s no need to care about others’ gazes.

What’s important is that I do it with intention.

“Phii Godt.”

“Hmm?”

The person who had closed his eyes opened them again, his beautiful, narrow eyes staring at me intently.

“I want to try… reading again… can I?”

“But I’m sleepy.”

“Just for a moment… please?”

“Okay.” Once he heard the coaxing, he gave in, sitting up to pay attention, holding a teddy bear to his chest, looking straight at me.

His sharp gaze has always been my weakness; when he looks at me, I feel a flush of heat like I’m coming down with a fever, sometimes making me do strange things or even act impulsively.

Phii Godt is the big boss of this challenge.

I picked up the book, the one I had left off at that sentence, the sentence I thought was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful in this book.

I am determined to do this because I want Phii Godt to see that I’m not tense around him.

I want Phii Godt to know that when I’m with him, I can be myself.

I want Phii Godt to be happy, to ease his tiredness from work.

My eyes focused on that text, inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly to avoid conveying that I was holding my breath to rush through the words. “Will told Clark that…”

“…”

“…Do you know something, Clark? You’re the only reason I want to wake up in the morning.”

From being on the verge of sleep, Phii Godt’s eyes widened slightly. I closed the book, moved closer to the person in front of me, kneeling up and placing both hands on his cheeks.

The next sentence I was about to say wasn’t from the book, but something I wanted to tell him, over and over again.

“You are the reason I want to wake up in the morning.”

“Diew…”

“It’s the reason I smile every day.”

“…”

“Just like how I want to see your smile, because your smile…”

“…”

“Is the most adorable thing.”

“Diew, you are stingy.”

“So, let me be your happiness, Phii Godt.”

He hugged my waist tightly, pressing his sharp nose against my shoulder with a soft laugh.

“You’re not stuttering anymore.”

The big guy hugged me like that until we locked eyes, both of our faces adorned with smiles. Phii Godt’s hand touched my cheek, caressing it gently.

“My smile, my love, so cute.”

After saying that, he playfully pulled my cheeks, laughing brightly and contentedly.

Watching his smile like this, it truly warms my heart.

No matter how much time passes,

No matter how long it’s been,

No matter what obstacles we encounter,

I want this person to always have smiles, to always have happiness.

I want him to be loved by everyone.

Because your smile is more charming than anyone else’s.

     MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 29: A Coin Has Two Sides, But Ultimately, It’s Still The Same Coin.

The light filtering through the curtains touched my eyelids, making me slowly blink awake. Even though the room didn’t face east, just a little light was enough to wake me. The first thing I saw was those beautiful, deep brown eyes already looking at me. Phii Godt gave a faint smile while placing his hand on my cheek, gently stroking it until I nestled my face into his warm palm. His slender fingers traced my skin before he wiped the sleep from the corners of my eyes, causing me to squint.

“Good morning.”

His distinctive deep voice was still etched in my heart as on the first day I heard it.

“Good morning.”

I greeted him with a sleepy voice and buried my face back into the pillow. Now that the term was over, from having to wake up early every day, I just wanted to spend more time in bed. Lying spread out on the bed is the happiness many university students dream of, not having to rush anywhere. Phii Godt’s hand moved to gently ruffle my hair.

“Wake up later than me… are you sleepy?”

I’m not that sleepy; I went to bed early last night. I just feel embarrassed when I wake up and see him lying next to me, so I hide my face with the big pillow, that’s all.

The smell of my shampoo that usually clings to the pillow is now mixed with the scent of his cologne, and I’m starting to get used to it.

“Today I’m helping out downstairs in the dorm. They contacted me last night.”

“Oh, what kind of work?”

I asked the person next to me out of curiosity.

“A birthday party.”

“Oh.”

“Such a good ‘oh,’ acting all grumpy like a cat, but you can’t be a cat, because you’re a turtle, little Diew.” After he finished speaking, he ruffled my hair again and pressed his nose to the top of my head before pulling away. His actions made my lonely heart beat so fast I felt like I could melt into the bed.

I’m never used to Phii Godt’s touch.

It’s warm, yet it can be irritating too. In summary, it’s a mix of warm annoyance, but I just love this irritating warmth so much.

The tall guy moved off the bed, stretching lazily beside it a few times before walking into the bathroom, leaving the bed slightly sunken. My hand moved to touch where he had just risen from, the warmth of his body still clearly lingering on the bed. I looked up at Smile, who was lying with his head and tail reversed not far away.

He’s so warm, isn’t he, Smile?

Phii Godt has a high body temperature, probably from playing sports, so when you’re next to him, you feel this constant warmth, like he’s a heater emitting heat continuously, sometimes even too hot.

“Diew, come brush your teeth, then we’ll go downstairs for some fish porridge.”

“Is the shop open today?”

My feet touched the floor before I walked into the bathroom, picking up the toothbrush from a pink Hello Kitty cup and sitting down on the toilet lid. Phii Godt squeezed some toothpaste onto my brush.

“It’s open, why would it be closed?”

“Isn’t today… a day off?”

“Today is Tuesday.”

“But, Phii… it’s closed every Tuesday,” Phii Godt furrowed his brows at me, probably because he doesn’t eat rice porridge often so he doesn’t know which days it’s actually closed. Most of the time, he sticks to just Korean barbecue and sushi.

“Really?”

“Yeah, the rice porridge place… is closed every Tuesday… the sukiyaki place is closed on Sunday.” After saying that, he stuffed the toothbrush into his mouth.

“So what should we eat then, Korean barbecue again?”

“Uh, whatever is fine.”

“What did you say, little one? I couldn’t understand.”

Pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth with foam all over, he said,

“Korean barbecue is fine.”

“Aren’t you tired of it?”

I shook my head slightly at the person in front of me. I’m someone who can do the same thing for a long time, eat the same food for months without any issue. Plus, just a few days ago, the uncle at the Korean barbecue place told me they had a new menu, so I thought about taking Phii Godt to try it. We hadn’t had Korean barbecue for three or four days now.

After finishing brushing my teeth, I spat out the water and grabbed a small towel hanging on the rack to hand to Phii Godt, who was washing his face after brushing his teeth. I took another towel to wipe my mouth.

“The uncle said… there’s a new menu too.”

“A new menu? Is there braised pork? I want to eat braised pork.”

“Not braised pork… but it’s Korean barbecue… with crispy pork and tofu.”

The person in front of me made a hissing sound when he heard the word “crispy pork.” After all, Phii Godt loves pork.

“Why do you… like pork so much?” I smiled slightly while looking at him through the mirror, busily dealing with his messy hair, before he turned around and stole a kiss from me unexpectedly. After the kiss, he gave a big, pleased smile, clearly happy about teasing me.

“I also like eating mice, you know.” [1] Thai word for rat is Nuu but it is also used in conversation as a pronoun for a younger person, so in this case nu means Diew

I raised the back of my hand to cover my flushed face. What a bad personality!

“And today… what time will you be done with work?”

“I’ll help out at five, finish by six, just for an hour.”

“Only… an hour?”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to refuse, but I couldn’t because my nephew requested it.”

“Why… did he request you?”

“Because he’s taken with how cute I am.” After he finished speaking, he poked my cheek. I didn’t feel cute at all.

“Go then, go.”

I pushed the tall guy out of the room. The area around the dorm was quite quiet, except for the chatter of the owner’s grandchildren, because it’s the school break, while everyone else had gone home. Phii Godt and I were stuck at the dorm because his parents were traveling abroad. As for me, I couldn’t go back to Phuket due to the storm that had hit Phuket for almost a week.

We stood ordering kuay teow (noodles) at a cart with no one around in the early morning. The good weather made me take a deep breath, the aroma of pork bone soup from the noodle stall still being the signature scent in front of the dorm, which anyone passing by would try at least once.

“What do you want to eat?”

“I’ll have… crispy pork and tofu kuay teow, please.”

“Two of those then, but in one bag, just a little morning glory, please.” Looks like you really hate morning glory, huh?

“Oh. Not wearing your Ultraman mask anymore?” The old man asked the one whose eyes were sparkling with interest in the crispy pork in the display case.

“No, uncle. Why? Do you like it?”

“Yeah. It adds color, the kids around here like it. But why wear it?

Isn’t it uncomfortable?”

“I can handle being uncomfortable, but I can’t stand making others uncomfortable.” After he spoke, he turned to pat my head, ruffling my hair with satisfaction until it stood up in all directions. I couldn’t even get annoyed at him; he always had some trick up his sleeve that left me speechless.

Just these simple words, I don’t know why they made me feel embarrassed.

After buying the kuay teow, we had to take it back to the room to eat. Besides the noodles, I also stopped by to buy some sushi for the afternoon, so we wouldn’t have to go down to make anything else to eat. As for dinner, Phii Godt said he would bring something back after he finished work.

I watched the person who refused to pour the Korean barbecue into the bowl because he was too lazy to wash it. Even though I said I would wash it for him, Phii Godt still mixed the rice with the barbecue in the bag. The person in front of me looked so happy with today’s new menu, both in his expression and the sparkling look in his eyes. I smiled as I watched him keep saying how delicious the crispy pork was, melting in the mouth. It’s rare to find a place that fries pork so well – not tough, not hard, not too greasy, and the fried tofu complemented it well. No rancid smell, not too hard to chew. In conclusion, the uncle’s new menu was now my favorite.

From now on, he probably wouldn’t ask for anything else. The Korean barbecue uncle would surely get money from Phii Godt every morning. “Eat slowly, I’ll steal it,” he said, trying to snatch my fried tofu. I quickly dodged.

“I’m angry!”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Make up how?”

“Make uuuup.”

“No way!”

Our daily routine remained the same. I still lived in the small square room with young-master and Smile, while Phii Godt would go out to meet friends or work because he can’t stay still. By evening, Khun Godzilla would barge into my room, and we’d spend time doing this and that. After that, we’d go to bed together, except on the days when Phii Godt was forced to go out drinking. He wouldn’t enter my room because he didn’t want it to smell like alcohol.

Phii Godt said my room had a smell he liked, one that made him feel at ease, aside from his own perfume scent which he sometimes brought in. He didn’t want other smells to cover it.

And the smell he liked was just my shampoo and body wash.

That’s why Phii Godt liked to nuzzle my hair often.

If he liked the smell that much, why didn’t he use it himself?

Phii Godt doesn’t like to use my personal items. It seems like he has a habit of still being considerate of the room’s owner. That’s why he bought his own shampoo and soap to keep in my bathroom, in case his room was occupied by friends. He would come over to shower, eat, and sleep with me.

I once spent some free time just looking at the items in the bathroom, which usually didn’t have much. Now, there were Hello Kitty cups, two toothbrushes, two face towels, different shampoos, different soap brands, and even cute Hello Kitty stickers that Phii Godt got from fans, sticking them here and there, making everything look cute and lively.

Besides the bathroom, looking around the bedroom, on the bed besides Smile lying on his back, there was also a cute blue Godzilla toy that he had bought from a Japanese store, even though he initially rejected the name “Godzilla”. Eventually, Phii Godt grew to like it so much that everything around him turned into Godzilla.

There are also Phii Godt’s bag, the plant-themed figure he ordered. I don’t know why he had to place it in my room. He said if he put it in his room, he was afraid his friends would break it, especially Phii Ton who has clumsy hands. Then there are his oversized T-shirts mixed in my wardrobe, the small Godzilla keychain he bought to pair with my turtle keychain because Phii Godt likes small, cute trinkets, like the wind chimes he once bought for me. Oh, and there are also three or four One Piece comic books on the study desk.

No matter where you look, there’s a hint of Phii Godt everywhere, as if he’s always here in this room.

He doesn’t leave any space at all, this chaotic person.

But I love it, I love this chaotic essence of him.

My world has become much brighter because of it.

…

After ten, I slowly got out of bed, not knowing if the birthday event downstairs was over yet. I switched from lying down listening to music to sitting at the foot of the bed reading a book, while chatting with young-master who was pacing in his square box.

“Young-master, next week we’ll go back to Phuket, okay?”

I gently stroked young-master’s shell.

My grandfather called me in the evening, saying he would come to pick me up to go back to Phuket next week. Initially, we talked about me flying back alone, but since he had business in Bangkok, he decided to have an intern driver come to help.

“When we go back this time, I’ll find a friend for young-master, okay?”

I know young-master isn’t lonely because we’re always together, but I want to get him a friend because I think having friends isn’t a bad thing.

Young-master would have someone to chat with.

“Or does young-master want a little brother?”

Knock, knock.

Before I could talk more with young-master, there was a knock at my door. I was a bit surprised because looking at the phone screen, Phii Godt should have been done with work by now, and since he has a spare key to my room, why would he knock?

Since there’s no peephole, I had to get up to open the door. When the door opened, the first thing I saw was…

A tall bear mascot holding a pink balloon.

From the height…

Phii Godt…

“Why do you look so shocked? I’m cute, aren’t I?” After saying that, he twisted his body like a jam roll, looking insanely beatable.

The tall bear handed me a pink balloon. I slowly took it before Phii Godt squeezed into the room. He took off the mascot head, revealing his dark hair, grabbed a strawberry Pocky from the table, put it in his mouth, and mumbled about forgetting the room key. Then, he turned to face me as I was examining the bear head on the table.

Memories from old days rushed back.

‘Did you see the balloon in front of the room? I used it to make amends.’

I remember questioning where he got that balloon from that day…

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to let it float away in front of me, that’s cruel.”

“The one who used it to apologize should have punctured it in the room, what’s your heart made of?”

“Such a lonely turtle, so cruel.”

I remember how he complained when I let the balloon he gave me float out of the room…

‘Wish me luck on the exam, okay?’

And only now did I remember that the tall, slender bear mascot at the birthday party under the dormitory, with the look that seemed to say, “Hug me, hug me,” was the same mascot Phii Godt was wearing today.

I blinked rapidly at the bear taking off his costume, the tall person walked closer to me. From standing apart, now Phii Godt was so close that I could feel the warmth from his body.

“To be honest, I just remembered this myself.”

“Last birthday party. Someone small said, ‘Wish me luck on the exam, okay?’ and then came up to hug me.”

My lips tightened, my face felt hot and I couldn’t hide it.

It was true.

He was that bear.

We hugged before we even met face to face.

Honestly, if I hadn’t seen this bear mascot today, I would have almost forgotten about it. The memory was quite vague because back then, I was focused on memorizing exam questions. I only knew that the bear was as tall as Phii Godt, was warm like him, and the embrace was just as wide, no difference at all.

“We’re so bad, I stole a hug from you first. Not fair.”

“I didn’t know that…” I didn’t know that you were the bear mascot that day. I didn’t even know how tall you were back then. I didn’t know your embrace would be this warm. I didn’t expect to see you at that time.” And then… didn’t you recognize me?”

“I couldn’t remember. Back then, we had just made an agreement, so I didn’t think I’d see just one face. Plus, it was hot, I barely paid attention to who was who; I was just annoyed. All I could think about was, ‘I want to smoke,’ and ‘When will this end?’ Everything in front of me was just a blur.” And then he laughed softly.

That’s right. If I look back, that was the period when Phii Godt was trying to quit smoking cold turkey.

Phii Godt’s hand rested on my cheek, caressing it gently as if I were something very precious to him. His other hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me close until there was hardly any space between us.

“But I remember that the person in my arms back then was this small, this delicate, and smelled this good.”

After he spoke, his prominent nose nuzzled into my cheek, rubbing back and forth as he often does, making me squirm and pull away.

“Thank you for allowing me into your world.”

“Thank you.”

Phii Godt’s lips pressed against mine, slowly and tenderly, to the point where I accidentally let go of the balloon, which floated up to stick to the ceiling. Hundreds of clouds seemed to envelop my body whenever he kissed me, with the faint scent and taste of strawberry from the Pocky he once said he didn’t like but later couldn’t do without. His breath tickled my nose, his warmth spreading over my body.

I love having him here.

When he pulled his lips away, Phii Godt broke into a wide, happy smile, accompanied by our laughter once again in the small square room, again and again, as each day passed.

This small square room where our story was beginning to be recorded.

The scent of memories just starting, and no matter how it ends, I won’t regret having met him.

Because at one point, I’ll remember that my little world isn’t just mine anymore.

The man named ‘Lonely,’ the man who was human, an introvert, who always lived alone, alone, happy in his own private world, content with doing things alone,

Today, he’s not lonely anymore.

Ever since the day I met Khun Godzilla, the chaotic one next door. No matter how many days or months pass, no matter how annoying, grumpy, whiny, or easily offended he might be, Phii Godt is still someone I want to be with, through ordinary days, special days, days when I feel like hugging someone, days when I feel lonely.

Phii Godt taught me many things, including how to open up to someone new in my life, how to accept differences and broaden my perspective, how to let go of old prejudices, and how to respect fellow humans.

Phii Godt taught me that the world outside isn’t as scary as I thought, and having friends isn’t as bad as I thought.

Our world, it’s like a coin with two sides. It depends on which side of the coin we choose to look at, but that doesn’t mean the other side is always bad. We just need to adjust our viewpoint. Try looking from a different angle, and we’ll see…

That the other world, the other perspective, is just as beautiful.

Thank you, the ever-busy Khun Godzilla next door.

Khun Godzilla, who tried to enter my world with understanding and patience.

Khun Godzilla, who is the opposite kind of person from me.

An extrovert human, trying to understand this introvert human.

Even though we are different, having you in my world has been the best gift.

Godzilla’s mission to invade my world.

Mission complete.

And I hope you all find your own Godzilla one day.

“By the way… have I ever told you… that your eyes are like youngmaster’s?”

“Is this supposed to be romantic?”

“They’re beautiful eyes.”

“Crazy, they’re a man’s eyes, how can they be beautiful?”

“Phii Godt!”

“Hehe”

:: THE END::

    MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 28: People Who Are Honest With Their Feelings, Especially With Their Loved Ones, Are Really Lovable.

The chirping of birds made me look around for the source of the sound while I was closing the door to the professor’s room. Small sparrows were chasing each other on the concrete wall under the cool breeze even though the sun was directly overhead. I gave a faint smile while looking at Ton, the big tree, where clusters of leaves moved like clouds, rustling with the wind like a kind of music.

From above, I saw the owner of the honey-colored skin stretched out on a stone bench in the garden under the faculty building. Phii Godt was dozing off, eyes half-closed. Today, he was wearing a black T-shirt under a navy blue shirt, and it can’t be denied that he looked very good dressed like this.

Like a prince, right?

But a tough kind of prince.

“Oh, Diew.”

A familiar, clear voice rang out as I was walking down the stairs from the third floor. I looked up from my white sneakers and the steps I was playfully jumping over to see a small woman in a student uniform smiling at me. Phii Ping stood in front of the student club room, holding a medium-sized paper box full of documents before she placed it in front of the room.

“Haven’t you finished your exams yet?”

“I’ve finished… just… came to submit some work.”

“Are you going back now?” Though she asked, she was already busy organizing the messy items. I glanced left and right, and seeing no one around to help Phii Ping, I thought it would be okay to let Phii Godt wait a bit longer since we had planned to eat together at the university’s central canteen after I finished submitting my work.

Phii Ping staggered a bit when lifting a large box, prompting me to rush over to help her carry it.

Although I was already on summer break, there were still some who hadn’t finished their exams, so it wasn’t surprising to see Phii Ping or some students still studying under the building. “You don’t have to.”

“It’s okay… I… was going this way anyway.”

“Then, please help me.” The beautiful-eyed woman placed one box in my hands, then turned to pick up another. We both walked, carrying the paper boxes down to the lower floor, heading towards the lockers to store the items.

“Sorry for asking you to help. Every time it’s the semester break, I have to clear stuff out of the dorm room; it’s so messy, it’s about to become a rat’s nest.”

“And… what about the others?”

“They’re caught up with exams, some have gone back to their provinces since the day before yesterday, so I’ve been carrying everything up and down by myself.”

Hearing that, instead of just carrying one box as I had thought, I helped Phii Ping carry all the boxes that were piled up in front of the room down to the lockers below because I didn’t want her to go up and down alone. She’s smaller than me; if she carried everything, she’d probably faint from exhaustion.

“Thanks, Nong Diew. Do you have any plans? Want to have dinner together? I’ll treat you as thanks for helping with the moving.”

“Oh… actually, I… have plans with Phii Godt.”

“Oh,” Phii Ping said softly, “As for Godt, everything’s okay now, right? I saw the fans apologize.”

“Yes.”

“That’s good,” she said, sliding the cardboard boxes into place. Even though there was a smile on her face, I could clearly see that Phii Ping wasn’t feeling great about it.

“Phii Ping…”

“Hmm?”

“Back then… did Phii Godt’s fans… apologize to you too?”

Phii Ping got hit harder than I did, but no one mentioned that fans apologized to her. It’s like everyone forgot that once they made a woman suffer.

The person in front of me fell silent, trying to keep her hands busy as if not wanting them to be idle. I gently touched her shoulder, and she jumped as if her mind was somewhere else.

“No. Back then, nothing was cleared up. We just drifted apart. No further words were spoken, the unresolved matters just stayed unresolved. But I’ve moved on from it, let it go if you can.”

That’s really sad. If possible, I’d like Phii Ping to get an apology too, but there’s not much I can do alone unless Phii Godt helps to speak up again.

“Uh… if you… don’t mind… would you like to join us for dinner?”

“Are you crazy? I’d just be a third wheel,” she laughed slightly.

“It’s fine… let’s go together.”

Phii Ping is Phii Godt’s friend after all, there’s no reason to feel bad about her.

That’s what I think.

The atmosphere at the dining table was awkward, different from how Phii Godt and Phii Ping used to chat comfortably that day. Today, it felt like they didn’t really want to face each other.

The actual purpose of inviting Phii Ping was to clear up misunderstandings with Phii Godt. I don’t know the details of how bad things were between Phii Ping and Phii Godt’s fans, I just know that back then, Phii Godt didn’t clarify things as clearly as he did with me, which might have made Phii Ping feel bad.

Phii Godt was pushing the carrots around on his plate, while Phii Ping kept sipping her mango smoothie, setting the glass down, and picking it up again after a while.

I, as the mediator, wasn’t very good at talking, so the whole table ended up in silence.

Until someone’s chatter broke the silence.

“Damn, calling me out here now, I should thank Bell if he doesn’t slap me.”

“Did you come by motorcycle or by tortoise, you’re so slow.”

“I came as fast as I could, you buffalo, any faster and I’d be The Flash.”

“Terrible!” Phii Godt yelled at Phii Biu, who was wearing a comfortable t-shirt and jeans, her large t-shirt crumpled and her hair messily tied back, suggesting she rushed over as she said. She muttered complaints as she sat down next to Phii Ping.

“How did you come?” Phii Ping asked Phii Biu. It seemed both were particularly close since the incident with Phii Jen. I heard from Phii Ping that it was Phii Biu who told her about Phii Jen’s situation, leading to Phii Jen coming to adjust his attitude with me and Phii.

“Godt called us here, said Ping was eating with you, and wanted us to come and sit with her.”

Phii Ping tightened her lips, gripping her mango smoothie glass until it made a crunching noise.

“We’ve already eaten. But if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave.”

“Wait,” Khun Godzilla protested, “It’s not that I’m uncomfortable, I called Biu because I was worried Ping might be uncomfortable eating with just me.”

“I’m okay, besides, there’s no need. If you are busy, you don’t have to come.”

“Crazy. I’m not busy, I came quickly because it’s about Ping.” Phii Biu smiled at the smaller person beside her. “So, what’s your problem, you bastard? Did something happen with Ping? I thought you guys weren’t talking anymore.”

“I don’t have a problem, Ping and I are friends.”

“And then what?”

I slowly raised my hand like a child afraid that raising a hand in class would get them scolded by the teacher.

“I was the one… who invited Phii Ping to have dinner,” I said softly, “I just… wanted Phii Ping to know… back then… Phii Godt didn’t disregard you… he might just not have known… how to handle his fans.”

All the sounds around us quieted down, leaving only the chirping of birds that had sneaked in to eat the crumbs on the nearby table, like in a comedy show where there’s a crow’s caw for a bad punchline.

“This is what it’s about, huh?” Phii Biu sighed softly, “Diew, you think Ping is upset about Godt’s fans?”

I nodded quickly before feeling Phii Godt’s large hand ruffle my hair.

“You’re thinking too much again.”

“I’m not… I just… if you’re going to be friends, shouldn’t you clear up what’s unresolved… isn’t that right?”

Everyone fell silent again. I didn’t know what expressions they had because my eyes were now fixed on the small eggplants scattered on the plate after eating the green curry with crispy chicken and pushing them aside, staring at them as if there was nowhere else to focus.

“Diew,” Phii Ping spoke up, making me lift my head to meet her gaze. Strangely enough, with Phii Ping, I didn’t feel awkward looking into her eyes at all; when I looked at Phii Ping, it was like seeing myself reflected back, fragile yet strong at the same time.

“Thanks for caring about me. It’s true I was upset that back then Godt didn’t say anything clearly, but the past is the past, we can’t change it, so there’s no need to worry.”

“I just… understand… what you’ve been through.”

“I know, because we’re similar, that’s why I don’t want you to care about what others say. I’ve been through a lot, been insulted, cursed, because I cared more about others’ words than those close to me, leading to bad decisions, but now I’ve gotten past it. And I think it was the best lesson.”

“Sorry for what happened,” a deep voice spoke after pushing carrots around until satisfied, “I know I did many wrong things back then that hurt Ping a lot, but like I said, if we’re going to be friends, I don’t want it to be unresolved.”

“I don’t hold any grudge against Godt, and I don’t care about the fans anymore. It’s just that sometimes I think back to the old times, but I won’t let it give me a headache.”

“That’s good. It’s good to be stronger. Other people’s words are just hot air, let them pass.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“But if anyone insults Ping again, I’ll knock their teeth out.” Phii Biu clearly defended the person beside her. “All talk on screen, let’s see what happens off-screen, you bastards, heads will shrink in rows.”

“You’re so fierce, do you like Ping or what?”

“Ass.”

“Come on, you just got insulted, so I’ll ask for real, do you like Ping?” Ass again.”

“See, you’re losing your composure.”

Phii Ping laughed and gently patted Phii Biu’s shoulder.

“Biu doesn’t like Ping, but Biu has always been there for me, both when I felt bad and when I was sad.”

“See, bow to my feet, Godt, I’m the one always cleaning up after you.”

“Yes, mother, thank you.”

“Do it again. You should thank me for taking care of Ping.”

“Thank you for taking care of Ping, mother.”

Seeing the tension slowly dissipate made me feel relieved.

“I’m not angry with Godt, I don’t care about the fans anymore. It’s just sometimes, the old stuff comes back to mind, but I don’t want to let it give me a headache.”

“That’s good. It’s good to be stronger. Words from others are just hot air, let them pass.”

“Hmm, thank you.”

“But if anyone insults Ping again, I’ll knock their teeth out.” Phii Biu clearly defended the person beside her. “All talk on screen, let’s see what happens off-screen, you bastards, heads will shrink in rows.”

“You’re so fierce, do you like Ping or what?”

“Ass.”

“Come on, you just got insulted, so I’ll ask for real, do you like Ping?”

“Ass again.”

“See, you’re losing your composure.”

Phii Ping laughed and gently patted Phii Biu on the shoulder.

“Biu doesn’t like me, but she’s always been by my side, both when I felt terrible and when I was sad.”

“See, bow to me, Godt, I’ve been the one cleaning up after you all the time.”

“Yes, ma’am, thank you.”

“Again. You should thank me for taking care of Ping.”

“Thank you for looking after Ping, ma’am.”

Seeing the tense atmosphere slowly relax, I felt relieved.

Then, I’ll excuse myself. Please help clean up the dishes, Biu, there’s a kid who needs teaching.”

Phii Godt stood up, grabbing his shirt that was draped over the chair and slinging it over his shoulder. Phii Ping furrowed her brows, not understanding what Phii Godt meant, just as I didn’t.

Only Phii Biu seemed to know what Phii Godt was implying.

“Don’t be too harsh on the kid, okay? At least he made you and Ping face each other again.”

“What will you do?”

“Teach him a lesson.”

Teach me a lesson? What lesson?

“Why teach him a lesson? Did Diew do something wrong?”

“Hey, where in the world would a new boyfriend to invite an ex girlfriend to dinner? That’s a sin!” Uh…

“But you… aren’t Godt’s ex, Biu.”

“You were almost one.”

Before we could discuss anything further, Phii Godt dragged me out of the cafeteria. I could only blink and follow him, not knowing where Phii Godt was heading, just that he kept walking until we stopped at the deserted garden behind the building, where a large tree blocked the sunlight, casting shade. I stood quietly looking at the lotus pond in front of me, where you couldn’t see the fish, only my reflection on the water’s surface, and suddenly remembered what Phii Biu had said.

“Where in the world would a new boyfriend to invite an ex-girlfriend to dinner?”

I… didn’t even think about that.

“Seriously,” Phii Godt said, his long legs stopping next to me, the warmth from his body hitting me instantly.

“Uh… yes.”

Suddenly, my voice stuttered uncontrollably.

“If I was to inviting your ex to eat with me, won’t you be jealous at all?”

“But…”

“And you didn’t even ask me, just brought Ping here and told her to eat with us.”

I… didn’t mean to.”

“Anyone else would be so jealous their eyes would pop out.” “But you… and Phii Ping… are friends…” aren’t you?

“Let’s start over, I’m already good friends with Ping. There’s no feelings if I talk to Ping again, but won’t you jealous?” His deep voice that was distant a moment ago moved closer, and I could feel Phii Godt’s breath near my ear, leaving me standing there stiffly.

“If I chat with Ping on LINE, if I greet Ping, if I smile at Ping… won’t you be jealous?”

“…”

My hands clenched into fists, my lips pressed together, my breathing became irregular.

If Phii Godt chats with Phii Ping behind my back. If Phii Godt greets Phii Ping every time they meet. If Phii Godt smiles at someone else besides me, with that warm smile he always gives only to me…

No… I don’t want that.

“Huh…”

“Hmm.”

“Jealous.”

“Hmm, what was that? Say it louder.”

“I would be jealous!” I grabbed the black t-shirt of the person next to me, clutching it tightly as heat rushed to my face, unable to distinguish between the embarrassment forming and the fluctuating feelings called ‘jealousy’ and ‘possessiveness’. I felt hot all over.

“I just… wanted… you and Phii Ping to clear things up… but I didn’t want you… to do that.”

“What was that supposed to be?”

I turned to look at Phii Godt, staring at him intently, and he seemed surprised by the sudden hardness in my eyes.

“Don’t smile… at anyone else.”

“Wait…”

“Don’t smile at others… the way you smile at me.”

“Diew.”

“I really mean it.”

“Shit,” the person in front of me muttered softly, then in a blink of an eye, he shook off his shirt and covered my head with it. His lips touched mine under the cover of his large shirt, the warm touch of his tongue making me instinctively pull back my neck. Phii Godt pressed his kiss down until I felt some kind of change happening.

It wasn’t a light kiss anymore. It was a kiss that made my whole body feel weak.

He pulled his lips away as I was still breathing heavily.

“Why do you have to be so cute when I was just playing around?”

I could only open my mouth like a fish out of water for a while until Phii Godt burst into laughter.

“Bad manners.” I pushed the tall man hard until he released me, the cool breeze hitting my face after escaping from under the shirt allowed me to take a deep breath.

But my heart racing in my chest and my face, hot like an oven, made it hard to recover.

I sat down on a stone bench not far from the lotus pond, resting my head on my arm while looking at the person beside me, the honeyskinned man who gently brushed the hair from my face behind my ear. Phii Godt’s slender fingers made me want to touch them more. I moved my fingers to hold his large hand, pressing my palm against his, observing the difference between our hands, then started playing with his beautiful fingers.

“Phii… are you mad… that I… invited Phii Ping to have dinner?”

“Not at all. I was just surprised. Normally, a new boyfriend wouldn’t get along with an ex.”

I pouted in displeasure, making Phii Godt smile.

“Hey. Isn’t it true? Am I right? If I’m wrong, why would you pull me like that?”

“Phii Ping… is just a friend now.”

“Yes, we’re just friends.”

“Besides… Phii Ping is… a good person, you know… She didn’t have to give me medicine, but Phii Ping did.”

“Yeah, Ping likes to take care of others, just like us.”

“But… when you say that… I… really am jealous.”

“Come on, being genuinely jealous is good, it’s super cute when we’re jealous, your face, ears, and neck all turn red.”

“Phii Godt!” I bared my teeth at him, and Phii Godt laughed, ruffling my hair into a mess even though he was just being gentle with it a moment ago.

Truth be told, if it were you, I’d be insanely jealous.”

“Hmm.”

“If you went back to talking with your ex, I wouldn’t be Ultraman, I’d be Godzilla, eating both of you up.”

This is my fault; my feelings are slower than a million-year-old tortoise.

…

“Sorry…”

“It’s okay.”

“But… you brought me here… aren’t you afraid of the monitor lizards?” I asked the person who was putting gum in his mouth. Phii Godt blew a bubble with the gum and shook his head slightly.”

The area where we were sitting wasn’t a place where many people would come. The grass was overgrown, and it was next to a canal, surrounded by old buildings with moss on the walls. If it weren’t for the big Ton tree providing shade, it would be left as a wilderness full of reptiles.

But the person chewing gum happily didn’t seem to think that way; Phii Godt actually seemed to like this place a lot.

“Not afraid.”

“Really… but I’ve seen… ones as big as crocodiles.”

I spread my arms wide to show him how big they were, the ones I had seen. Aren’t you afraid? The monitor lizards at this university are known to be fierce, they can easily take on a big python.

“…”

“Actually, the reason not many people come here is that the guard raised one here, it’s big, named Lucky, it loves meatballs, and it even has a collar.”

“…” The koala wouldn’t let go.

“…Oh… there it is, speak of the devil.”

I froze when I heard that, goosebumps rising all over like chicken skin. To be honest, besides spiders, the creatures I’m most afraid of are reptiles, especially lizards.

At first, I thought Phii Godt was just teasing to scare me, but when I turned around and saw the large monitor lizard crawling out of the water, I widened my eyes in shock and quickly ran to hide behind Phii Godt, clinging to him like a koala.

“Scaredy-cat.”

Well, that’s a lizard, right? What the hell is that?”

“Phii Godt… I… I’m scared.”

“Hmm, why are you scared? Lucky, come here, come to daddy,” he called Lucky with a click of his tongue as if it were an adorable little puppy. Instead of running away like other wild animals when it saw people, Lucky walked straight towards us as if it was used to coming here for meatballs.

“Phii Godt!”

“Huh, why are you scared? It won’t bite.”

“I’m out of here!”

The closer Lucky got, flicking its tongue, the more my arm hairs stood on end. I ran away from there with Phii Godt’s laughter chasing after me.

“Wait!”

“I’m not playing anymore, sorry,” he said, still laughing. I gave him a glare, which he answered with a mischievous smile.

If he teases me again, I might just push him to be Lucky’s meal instead of the meatballs.

“Phii Godt!!”

Before I could take another step, a female student in a uniform shouted a greeting. She ran over here, and Phii Godt quickly pulled me behind him. This action meant that this woman was definitely not his friend, maybe someone else, a classmate, a junior, or a senior he wasn’t close with.

“I thought you went back, nice to see you, Phii Godt.”

“Nice to see you too, Nong Ging.” Ging… I remembered seeing that name somewhere, it didn’t take long to recall, Gink was one of Phii Godt’s fans whose tweet Phii Wan had screenshotted for me to read.

“My friend saw you walking out of the cafeteria and so I followed you.”

“Oh, how are you? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.”

“I’m fine, more worried about you, you’ve been gone for a while.”

“Just hanging around here.”

“You really didn’t notice, you haven’t been at the faculty at all.”

“Really? That’s too bad.”

“It’s good, take some personal time. You don’t have to show your face all the time. Just update Twitter occasionally. This is from Phii Praew and the other friends for you.”

“What is it?”

“Sweets.”

“Are you sure it’s just sweets?”

“Yes, sweets.”

“Thank you very much.”

“And this is for Nong Diew too.” Upon hearing my name, I instinctively grabbed the back of the wide-shouldered person in front of me. A gift… for me too?

“It’s sweets too. I asked Phii Wan what you like to eat and brought them for you. I also want to apologize to you, and there’s something from Phii Ping in the bag too. Letters and plush toys from people who came to apologize, I know we’ve done many things wrong and want to apologize for many things but haven’t had the courage until now. With this issue, we want everything to end here. Phii Godt, don’t worry too much, live your life happily.”

“Thank you, I’m not angry anymore. And if you want to give a gift to Diew…”

Phii Godt moved to the right, allowing me to see the woman in front clearly, just as she was surprised to see it was me.

“Oh, Nong Diew.”

“Hello…”

When faced with someone I don’t know, my tension was quite evident. Phii Godt placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently to let me know he was by my side.

“This is from me to you, sorry for what happened before. There’s one plush toy from me and something from Phii Ping. Please give it to her too.”

A brown paper bag was handed to me. I took it reluctantly.

“Uh… thank you.”

“This is Ging, Ging and Praew are like the main representatives of my fan club,” Phii Godt introduced the person in front of me.

“Got it.”

“You’re so cute, Phii Diew,” Gink smiled at me, “Just like Phii Wan said, you’re all white.”

“See, he’s very protective of this one.”

“Oh, just a little compliment, many people have become fans of him because of how adorable he is.”

“I am still here and still protective.”

Okay, okay, then I’ll leave you two alone, you jealous one. Take care, I’m off, Nong Diew.”

“Got it.”

Ging ran back the way she came, leaving only silence between me and Phii Godt. The person next to me rubbed his neck a couple of times before we started walking along the path behind the school building.

“Is it like this every year?”

I opened the snack bag in my hand; three boxes of strawberry-flavored Pocky were inside. There were also strawberry marshmallows, and besides the snacks, there were letters and small trinkets like the tiny dolls Ging mentioned. I took out a soft, fluffy rabbit doll and squeezed it.

So cute, what should I name it? How about Sunshine, like the sunlight today? Maybe because I don’t often leave my room, I don’t get much sunlight, so I didn’t realize how good it feels to be outside in the sun, to see the vivid colors of the trees and grass, to see Phii Godt’s beautiful eyes clearly.

My gaze turned to Phii Godt, who picked up an expensive-looking square box from the paper bag. He sighed heavily, muttering in slight annoyance.

“I told them not to bring this stuff, but they still do.”

“What’s this?”

I craned my neck to see what was in the small square box; a sparkling, expensive watch almost blinded me.

“Wow, is it Gucci?”

“It’s expensive. I don’t know why they bring this, these kids still have their hands out asking for money from their parents.”

“If you don’t want it… then don’t take it.”

“I’ve refused hundreds of times. Sometimes if I don’t accept it, they send Wan and others to insist, or Beert relentlessly pressures me to accept. The worst is when they hide it in a snack bag, those kids.”

“And what do you do in return for these things?”

“I just update my daily life, tell them what I’m doing. I’ve actually asked why they give me these things; I’m not struggling financially, I can buy these things myself without any hair loss issues. But they say that when you like someone, you want to give them gifts or something to return their cuteness.”

“It’s a pretty strange relationship, huh?”

“They… seem to really love you.”

“Yes, with Ging, it’s like she’s my little sister, and with Praew, it’s the same. With Ping, I really think of her as a little sister too.”

“A lot of little sisters…”

“There are a lot of little brothers too. If Wan wasn’t the same age as me, I’d think of him as a younger brother.”

“And what about me?”

“Saying that, do you want to be my nong, huh Diew…”

Phii Godt went silent before he could finish his sentence. He stopped walking, making me stop too. When I turned around, I saw someone trying to hide their face behind their big hands.

“Phii Godt…”

“I forgot, I haven’t officially asked you to be my boyfriend yet, have I?”

My brain processed that sentence for a minute before heat rushed to my face. I was just teasing. I didn’t mean it seriously at all. We’re already dating, aren’t we? Isn’t it obvious when you’re dating someone that you’re their partner? But it seems Phii Godt doesn’t think that way.

“But you… already asked to date… right?”

“We’re dating. We just need to be official partners.”

“It’s the same thing…”

“It’s not the same for me.”

“Oh. If it’s not the same, then it’s not the same.”

Phii Godt walked closer to me with a smile on his face, his beautiful brown eyes even more captivating when the sunlight hit them, like a universe waiting to be explored. It still confirms my previous words that Phii Godt’s eyes are as beautiful as a young master’s.

“Diew.”

It was a brief moment where I could see everything around me moving slowly, whether it was the clouds drifting away from the sun, causing the light to shine on his face, revealing the smile of someone who was trying in every way to get to know me, even though he didn’t have to do any of it.

Or even his lips, which gradually shifted from a shy smile to moving, uttering short words from his well-shaped lips, while the cool breeze passed over our bodies, like a video you wouldn’t want to forget even for a second.

“Can you be my boyfriend?”

His deep voice echoed in my mind, making my heart swell like a balloon floating in the sky.

How many times will I be asked to be his boyfriend? There’s only one answer to that.

“Yes.”

The world outside, when there’s Phii Godt, it’s so beautiful, isn’t it?

        MONSTER NEXT DOOR CHAPTERS HOME

   MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 27: Love At The Beginning Is About Accepting Each Other’s True Selves.

“Hey.”

I looked up from my phone at the unusually early-rising small guy, on a good weather morning after the exams, Phii Wan sitting in front of 7Eleven with a can of porridge and a bottle of cold water. Seeing him sitting alone, I automatically looked around for the other person.

“Beert isn’t up yet.”

Oh, come to think of it, last night, Phii Godt and I didn’t get back to our room until after three. But I’m the type who, no matter how late I sleep, will wake up early by habit. If I get sleepy during the day, I’ll just take a nap.

“Where is Godt?”

“He’s not up yet… either.”

Because I was worried he’d freak out not seeing me beside him when he wakes up, I wrote a post-it and stuck it on Phii Godt’s forehead saying I was down at 7-Eleven. If he wakes up and wants to come down, he should lock the door because I took the room key with me.

Phii Wan nodded. He lightly patted the chair next to him, wanting me to sit and chat.

“About last night, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head gently at him.

“No need… just seeing you two talk… makes me happy.”

“Actually, last night I was so dizzy, I can’t remember what I said.”

I could only sit quietly by him, swallowing hard. I didn’t dare to say anything, especially when Wan, Phii Wan, was acting like a sulky child, repeating, “Phii Beert likes Phii Biu,” and also complaining about Phii Beert like a possessive kid who doesn’t want his best friend talking to anyone else.

If I were to tease him, I might end up getting hit.

“And… do you remember what Phii Beert said?”

Phii Wan was silent for a moment. He stirred his porridge with a spoon before resting his head on his arm. He sighed softly.

“He likes me.”

At least… he wasn’t so drunk he forgot everything. Otherwise, we’d have to start over.

“Isn’t that good… Phii Beert is both a friend… and a lover?”

“Not a lover yet,” the smaller man said with a slight laugh.

“Yet,” but in the future, probably.

“I didn’t even realize Beert liked me.”

“And do you… like Phii Beert?” The person beside me paused. He scratched the back of his neck slightly.

“Well… we’ve been together for three years, we understand each other. As for whether I like him, I enjoy spending time with him, but I’ve never thought about becoming lovers. Diew, think about it. Normally, I don’t even like myself. If I really dated Beert, would he tolerate my foolish behavior?”

“Why do you think that way?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t like my own personality.”

The sounds of cars passing by and the noise from the 7-Eleven didn’t interrupt our conversation, except for Charcoal, who ran up the stairs to me as soon as he saw me.

I scratched the head of the short-haired dog until it closed its eyes and happily licked its lips.

Let’s be honest. Isn’t it Phii Beert who confessed that he likes Phii Wan? Phii Wan who can’t make a proper omelette, Phii Wan who turned his university shirt pink, and Phii Wan who always buys snacks to apologize whenever he does something wrong.

But actually, it’s not just Phii Wan who doesn’t like himself.

“I myself… have also disliked my own personality at times.”

“About enjoying being alone?”

“No, it’s about… how I have prejudices against many things… too easily.” Perhaps because in my world, everything is so perfect, in my own comfortable private world where nothing disturbs the mind, being alone and quiet, so when I encounter something that affects me even a little, I quickly become prejudiced against it before really understanding it.

Like with seniors from different years, or even with Phii Godt, I used to judge him before even talking to him, thinking he was annoying.

For me, getting to know an extrovert like Phii Godt has taught me that everything in this world has two sides, like a coin, it depends on which side you look at, but that doesn’t mean the other side you don’t see is always bad.

“With Phii Godt… he never complained… even when I said things he didn’t like to hear.”

“Well, he’s okay with everything.”

“But that… makes me have bad habits.”

Because I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I never improve.

Phii Godt, he’s really good at indulging people.

“Phii Beert once said… if you love someone… that person becomes an exception for you.”

“Even if they’re annoying?”

Yeah, even if they’re annoying. I’ve called Phii Godt annoying I don’t know how many times.

“I believe… Phii Beert is a good listener… if he were to hate Phii Wan… he would have hated him a long time ago… not that the two of you have been living together… all this time, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve been living together all this time.”

“Then… there’s no need to worry, right?… People don’t decide to like each other in a day or two.”

The small guy burst out laughing when he heard that.

“Right, must be overthinking it.”

We sat in silence for a while before I excused myself to go into 7Eleven to buy some food. I chose simple sandwiches, boiled eggs, and black pepper chicken for Phii Godt, along with sugar-free green tea.

After paying, I came out to sit and peel the eggs next to Phii Wan.

What I can do. It’s not carrying Phii Godt’s bag, not carrying heavy sheets back home for him, nor carrying heavy stuff bought from the store, but doing smaller, more delicate things. Like if he wants to eat boiled eggs, I’ll peel them for him. If I see something he likes, I’ll buy it for him. Or even if he wants to watch “One Piece,” I’ll watch it with him.

“But about your relationship, with Godt, is it okay?”

“What do you mean…?”

“Like, life after being lovers, lifestyle, preferences, do they differ a lot? Does it feel awkward?”

I thought about it while Phii Wan was speaking his long sentences.

My preferences and Phii Godt’s are as different as night and day, our thoughts differ sometimes, but Phii Godt and I chose to talk openly more than anything else. Maybe because we came from different worlds before, I find it easy to adapt to him. It’s not like Phii Godt just started being charming recently; he’s been like that from the start.

“It’s okay…”

“Good, and it has to stay that way, understand?”

I nodded with a small smile.

“Understand.”

“And about Godt’s fans, you don’t worry about them anymore, right?”

About Phii Godt’s fans. Since Phii Godt tweeted an apology to his fans, I haven’t paid attention to Twitter anymore. I only check it occasionally for movie or music news, but I don’t read things that might make me anxious.

“I don’t think about it anymore.”

“Godt, after he tweeted that apology to his fans, he’s been trying to make them love you as much as he does. Just recently, a few days ago, his fans tweeted apologies to Godt and you.”

I turned to look at Phii Wan, who was pressing something on his phone. He handed his phone to me.

“Want to read what Godt has been up to? I know he won’t tell you.

Otherwise, you’ll go check for yourself.”

The boiled eggs were put back into the box. I wiped my hands clean on my pants and then took Phii Wan’s phone to look at it.

“Don’t worry, this time there are no bad comments.”

 

Following the issue of secretly taken photos at the engineering concert and the various discussions that arose afterward,

The team from “maboyfriend” and the main fan club “FCgodd” sincerely apologize to Phii Godt and Nong Diew. We have been negligent regarding the long-standing campaign against nonconsensual photography, but this time we did not consider things thoroughly, leading to criticism that has caused both physical and emotional harm to the individuals in the photos.

We must deeply apologize to both of them and request that you stop any negative criticism towards them. From now on, if negative tweets are spotted, we will capture them as evidence and report them.

Thank you for your understanding.

 

FCgodd

The “FCgodd” household has personally sent an apology message to Phii Godt. For those who are currently upset, please read this message to decide whether to continue supporting him.

To begin with, “FCgodd” was born because we fell in love with this honey-skinned man at the freshman welcoming event. Phii Godt has been our source of laughter, happiness, and smiles. We’ve been afraid several times that he might leave us because he’s quite hard to read, but he has never abandoned us, even though he was heavily criticized at first.

Over the past two years, we’ve made many mistakes. We’ve tried to decide how Phii Godt should live his life, who he should date, and insisted he should inform us about everything he does. But in reality, we haven’t considered that he’s just a person, a man with his own life. Just a simple tweet from him saying “morning” is enough for our happiness, isn’t it?

Therefore, “FCgodd” doesn’t want Phii Godt to disappear just because we’ve acted unpleasantly. Please be open-hearted and listen to those we love. After the incident with “Priew”, we’ve learned our lesson. No one wants Phii Godt to disappear for months again, right? Moreover, Nong Diew has helped him quit smoking and he doesn’t go to bars as often as before. Isn’t he a good person for Phii Godt?

In conclusion, “FCgodd” wants to apologize to both Phii Godt and Nong Diew for both intentional and unintentional actions that have caused this situation. We will continue to be the “FCgodd” house that always supports him, and more than that, we will support the person he loves.

Thank you everyone for your understanding.

For Praew and friends, as long as Phii Godt is happy, we are happy too.

With love, FCgodd

 

Aside from those apology messages, there are other messages that Phii Wan captured, all of which are from Phii Godt trying to defend me.

Neera: So, are you dating him now?

Godzilla: We’re currently in the courtship phase, and I think I’ll ask him out soon.

Fahfah: Phii Godt, is it true that the junior is arrogant?

I don’t want you to meet bad people.

Godzilla: He’s not arrogant at all, Fah. He’s just shy and not good at socializing.

Montra: Why didn’t you tell us until now? If no one had secretly taken photos, would you have told us at all?

Godzilla: I’m really sorry for telling you late. I didn’t want fans to feel bad, and besides, I’m very serious about this person, and I won’t let him go no matter what. I hope you can understand.

Anna: @Montra, really, last time you just said you were talking with Phii Ping, and you guys attacked Phii Ping so badly. It’s understandable why Phii Godt would be scared.

Montra: Well, it’s up to you. I will still support you. Just worried that your boyfriend might make you sad.

Godzilla: Not at all. He’s a good kid. I’m not sorry at all for knowing him.

Ging: Phii Godt, I’m here supporting you, I believe you’ve chosen what’s best for yourself. For the past incidents, we sincerely apologize to you; it shows that you didn’t come out to talk about dating Nong Diew this time because you were afraid that Nong Diew would be attacked. Please apologize to Nong Diew for us too.

FCgodd: After that incident, anything you want to do is fine, just don’t disappear like you did then.

Ging: I really couldn’t handle it when you disappeared; you weren’t at the faculty, your Twitter wasn’t updated, your Facebook was closed, oh my, I felt like my heart was breaking, Phi Praew.

Godzilla: Thank you both so much for looking after each other all this time. There was indeed a moment when I wanted to disappear because of the worry, but now I’m okay.

GingG: Love you, senior. Take good care of yourself and Nong Diew too.

Godzilla: Yes, I will take the best care of him.

Bostin: So, you like guys, huh? That’s so not cool, bro.

Godzilla: Boss, what’s wrong with me liking guys? Moreover, I like him for who he is, I like his attitude, his worldview, I like how he lives his life happily every day with himself, I admire him. It has nothing to do with him being a man or a woman, I love him for being himself.

Tonton: @Bostin, grow up, you can’t even think properly.

Bostin: Sorry, I just saw the latest and thought you were flirting with Priew.

Tonton: Ping is Ping, Diew is Diew, are they the same person or what, you buffalo?

Bostin: What do you particularly hate about me, Ton?

Godzilla: I don’t know if you guys will gossip about me or not, Boss. Whether you curse me out, say I am a player, whatever, it’s your business, I don’t care because I love him, and he loves me.

That’s all it takes for my life to be complete. So what if I’m gay?

Aren’t gays people too, you bastard?

Tonton: That’s how it should be, friend.

Bostin: Sorry, man.

Godzilla: Mind your own business, you want to have your mouth broken?

Tonton: Hehe

 

Tap

Tears fell onto the screen of Phii Wan’s phone. I didn’t even realize when I started crying.

“Hey, don’t cry.”

Phii Wan pulled back his phone and placed his hand on my back, gently patting it. The more he comforted me, the more I cried until I was sobbing uncontrollably. I used both hands to wipe away the endless flow of tears, as if all the pent-up frustration had been released. These weren’t tears of sadness but tears from the bottom of my heart.

It was overwhelming.

“Damn, I’m not good at comforting people.”

“Uhh.”

I now understand what it’s like to cry so hard you can’t control your voice.

“Let’s go find Godt, shall we?”

Unable to console me to stop crying, Phii Wan grabbed our things and hurried me back to the room. On the way, I couldn’t stop crying, only managing to wipe my tears as I followed the one leading the way.

We hadn’t even reached the room when the door was opened by Phii Godt, who stepped out. I looked up at the tall man, my vision blurred by tears.

“Diew! Why are you crying?”

Upon seeing Phii Godt, I cried even harder. The tall man quickly came to me, pulling me into a hug, his warm embrace like a large mountain.

Everything seemed to force my wall of strength to crumble completely.

“Phii… huaa…”

“Wan. What did you do to him?”

“I just had him read the messages.”

“Ha! What messages?”

“The ones on Twitter where people apologized to you both, and the ones where you defended him, after which he just wouldn’t stop crying.” Phii Wan sounded worried. I couldn’t see what expression Phii Godt had because it seemed like he was keeping this a secret, not wanting me to know.

The secret of him being a hero without telling me, protecting me every day from the harsh words on the internet.

“You go back, I’ll handle this.”

“Okay… sorry.”

“No need to apologize.”

“Why not? I made him cry this much.”

“It’s not because he’s sad, he’s probably crying because he’s so happy.”

“Happy enough to cry like that?”

“Yeah, he’s been holding it in for so long, worrying alone. He must be relieved to see everything resolving.”

Phii Godt took me back into the room, and as soon as the door closed, the tall man leaned against it, letting me cry into his chest until I didn’t know how much snot and tears had stained his shirt.

Phii Godt’s warm hand touched my hair, gently rubbing it the way he likes to do.

“Ohh.”

Just as Phii Godt said. I cried because I was happy to see those messages. After holding it in for so long, trying to comfort myself that it was fine, that there was nothing wrong, seeing those apology messages, seeing that our silence finally made them accept us, it was something to be truly happy about.

More than that, the reason I cried so hard was because of Phii Godt’s messages.

‘Where’s the problem with me liking a guy? Besides, I like him for who he is, like his attitude, like his view of the world, like how he lives his life, happy every day with himself. I admire him. It has nothing to do with whether he’s a man or a woman.’

For someone who always teases others like him, he has such a cool side.

‘I love him for being himself.’

And he’s incredibly straightforward too.

At first, he was just Godzilla, the loud, annoying, and chaotic neighbor.

This guy never stops surprising me.

If I hadn’t met him, sure, my life might have continued to be happy in my own little world, but I can’t deny that having him by my side is the most special gift in my life.

I love him for being himself too, no matter how loud or chaotic he might be.

“I’m not crying anymore. Ohh.” Slender fingers wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, Phii Godt blew gently on my eyelids, making me squint a little while still sniffling.

“Thank you… sir.”

“Sure, stop crying quickly.”

“I… can’t.” The more he told me to stop crying, the more tears flowed like a dam breaking, turning from “Ohh” to a deep laugh from the person holding me.

“Seriously, I was shocked, thought Wan was pranking us or something. You’ve cried so much your face is all red and swollen.”

I couldn’t help it; by the time I realized it, tears had filled the boiled eggs.

“Will you stop?”

Can’t stop.

[Kiss]

His lips touched mine, making me momentarily pause from my sobbing; the gentle kiss from the taller man made my breathing falter, and the tears that had been flowing stopped as if someone had flipped a switch. I looked into Phii Godt’s beautiful eyes in surprise, and soon after, I felt something odd.

“Hic.”

“Wow, just a hiccup now.”

From sobbing, it turned into hiccups.

“Hic.”

“Prrd.” The tall man let out an ugly laugh, causing me to push him away.

The hiccups, which didn’t seem like they would go away anytime soon, made me step back from his embrace. I didn’t forget to give him a glare. I was about to walk to the fridge to get some water, but before I could take a step, I was pulled back. The playful one kissed me again, making me jump.

His lips gently caressed mine, a slow and gentle touch without any aggression. For almost a minute, he didn’t let me breathe until I had to struggle free. I gasped for air like my life depended on it, coughing continuously, my face hot as if radiating heat towards the person beside me.

“Suddenly kissing me like that… you scared me.”

“Hmm, but you’re not hiccupping anymore.”

True… the hiccups were gone.

“I didn’t believe at first that being startled could stop the hiccups.”

“…”

“But now I do.”

“Believing it now… why?” The person in front of me gave a mischievous smile. He looked completely untrustworthy.

“So that in the future, I can kiss you to stop your hiccups.”

“Crazy.”

I went to grab Smile, who was sleeping on the bed, and threw him at him, but it was ineffective; Phii Godt caught Smile easily in his arms. Plus, he started laughing, a deep laugh like Wan’s, a laugh of someone overflowing with happiness, laughing like a madman.

And I guess I must be mad too, because I even like that crazy laugh of his.

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