EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 18: I’m Here

   Two days have passed…

   I stood dazed on the balcony, gazing at the sky and the forest landscape. The distant mountain peaks almost touched the sky, feeling the cool breeze against my face. I liked the saying, “At least we’re still under the same sky.” It means that no matter how far apart we are, just by looking up, we can still see the same sky, suggesting that we might circle back to meet each other again.

Just like meeting him, when I never thought I would see him again.

And now he’s disappeared again…

I clasped my hands together, thinking of the warmth from someone who always made my heart feel warm, no matter how long it’s been. His gentle smile and serious eyes always healed me, even when he himself was just as wounded.    That day when Phii Hill was called back, we had to leave the cafe. Phii Hill insisted on seeing me back to my dormitory first, but they didn’t let him drive because they feared he might run away, so they had us sit in the back while someone else drove.

I didn’t dare ask anything to the person sitting next to me then, and he didn’t speak either, as if there was an unspoken warning not to say anything. The driver kept glancing at us through the rearview mirror almost all the time, but he said nothing when Phii Hill’s hand reached out to gently squeeze mine in comfort, the way he always did, including that gentle smile…which always had an effect on my heart.

The car came to a complete stop in front of the dormitory. Phii Hill gently kissed my hand, promising to return. I could tell his eyes weren’t lying.

But then, I couldn’t contact him at all…

I messaged Phii Johan on social media to ask for Phii Hill’s number, but calls wouldn’t go through. Phii Johan checked at his condo, but he wasn’t there, and when he asked the security guard, they said Phii Hill had a private parking spot, which had been empty for days.

It was as if that day took everything away, leaving a heavy heart. He wouldn’t have gone somewhere else, right?

“Why are you standing out there like a lost soul, you’ll catch a cold.” North’s voice boomed from inside the room, making me startle a little. I was deeply lost in thought by myself, so I just made a face at him, “Why’s it suddenly so cold? Is it because we’re near the mountain?”

“Maybe, there are so many people around here, I don’t know why.”

“My house isn’t on a mountain.” I thought it might be best to stop thinking about this for a while. For the past two days, I’ve been trying to call, trying to think of what to do, but to no avail. I agree with what Phii Johan said, that Phii Hill is at his grandfather’s house and might have his phone confiscated. That’s crazy…is he a prisoner or what?

And nobody knows where Grandpa’s house is. At first, I wanted to go with him, but…uh, what do you call them, bodyguards? Grandpa’s bodyguards strictly forbade it. They even added pressure by driving me back, as if to warn that if I said anything, they would tell Grandpa, and things could get worse. So, I thought it was better to stay silent.

Since I can’t call him and can’t go looking for him, how are we supposed to communicate…The more I think about it, the more my head hurts. Should I send a letter? But I don’t know where he is, and who would know Grandpa’s address? Even close friends like Phii Johan, Phii Tonfa, and Phii Arthit don’t know. Could sending smoke signals work, maybe?

“Ter…close the window, I’m cold.” I had to go back inside the room and close the window properly. I thought the weather was nice, with a gentle breeze and the afternoon sun not too strong.

“What are you doing?” I asked North, who seemed busy earlier. He was rearranging things even though everything was already neat, right?

“Cleaning the room.”

“It’s already clean.”

“It can be cleaner.”

Sigh, whatever makes him comfortable then. North is such a housemaid, I must say. If he wears his cleaning gloves and an apron, it’d be perfect. North is very diligent…often too diligent for me, whenever I’m about to clean, he’s always one step ahead. Plus, he has a part-time job, which is quite admirable.

“Aren’t you going to work at the club?” North asked.

“I’ve already done the photoshoot. The boss said the job is done, so I don’t need to go back.” I said with a bit of disappointment. Although I didn’t get to shoot the last shot, Phii Pim said it was fine and didn’t want to bother me anymore, so she asked me to send the photos, and my wages would be discussed with the chairman later. Speaking of which, the chairman has disappeared, causing delays at the club.    Speaking of Phii Pim, it reminds me of the other day…Phii Bua, Phii Pim, and Phii Dew, these three ganged up to tease me, saying they knew from the start that I was the one who was the watch owner in Phii Hill’s post. They went out for Japanese food with me, how could they not know? But it was just to tease me, they said my red face was cute or something, damn it…remember that, you guys who find joy in others’ misery, T^T

As for the sophomore medical student interview for the Cute Boy page, it had to be postponed because no one from the Star Moon department could contact Phii Hill either. Phii Meili messaged me asking about it. Of course, my answer was that I had no idea where Phii Hill had gone. Phii Meili then said it was okay, because he’d have to come back when the term starts.    And tomorrow is the first day of the term…

I’m not ready for school at all…sigh, T^T

“You don’t look okay.” North commented.

“Yeah, I’m really not okay.”

“No news from the med student?”

“Yeah, he’s gone. It’s been two days.” I furrowed my brows so much they almost knotted, which made North secretly chuckle. What’s so funny, huh? I see you!

“Just two days, I’ve been away from my boyfriend for months.”

“Ha!?” He just said ‘boyfriend’, right? “Do you have a boyfriend too? Why didn’t

I know about it?”

“I didn’t tell you, didn’t I? Plus, we’re not living together; he studies at a different university.”

“Then you must be quite lonely.” I commented.

“Yeah, lonely to the point where he’s found someone else now.” North said with a sigh, then forcefully threw his cleaning gloves into the trash, “Today he even updated his status with his new boyfriend, sigh.”

“Ahhh. So that’s why you’ve been all over the place since this morning, huh?”    “Yeah, and it’s not even worth anything. I thought I’d moved on, you know, but seeing him with someone new feels like someone’s hammering a nail that’s already there, if you can imagine that. When he broke up with me, it was like he hammered a nail into my heart, and now that he has a new boyfriend, it feels like he’s hammering that nail again.”

“I understand, but you look dazed, you’re barely making sense. Take a break.” I suggested.

“Well, since things are like this, shall we drink?”

“Drink?”

“I mean, let’s drink alcohol. How about it? You’ve been stressed out lately too.”

“But classes start tomorrow, man.” I protested. Drinking on the night before the first day of university wasn’t a good idea, and I hadn’t drunk in a while because I learned that when I get drunk, everything goes to hell.

“Yeah, that’s a bummer. How about doing it on Saturday?”

“But I’m not going.”

“Okay, okay, no problem. If anything, come collect my body, in case I pass out at the bar. I don’t want to sleep with my head on the sidewalk like last time.”    “Sigh, you’re going to make me worry again. Just drink moderately, or you might end up in big trouble.” I warned him. Picking up his body isn’t much of an issue, but I’m worried about what trouble he might get into. Alcohol is the root of all chaos, believe me.

North just shrugged, unconcerned.

“But tomorrow is the start of term, he’ll have classes too, so you’ll probably see him soon. No need to look like a sad puppy anymore.”

“Who’s looking like a sad puppy, not me.”

“You, definitely, like you’ve been abandoned by your owner.”

“You’re one to talk, North.” And so our pointless argument began again, until we both realized it was a waste of energy, and we stopped there.

I slumped into the chair, doing something while lost in thought. If Grandpa really wants Phii Hill to be a doctor and even wants him to be the top of his class, it means Grandpa must care a lot about Phii Hill’s education. He probably wouldn’t let Phii Hill miss classes.

I’ll see him tomorrow…

But I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.

I want to see him now…

It’s kind of funny when I think about it. At first, I was trying so hard to avoid Phii Hill, almost to the point of exhaustion, but now that he’s gone, I find myself wanting to see him. But it’s different now because we’ve started to understand each other. Maybe…we do understand each other, but we haven’t had a chance to clear things up completely before Grandpa took Phii Hill away again.

How should I deal with Grandpa’s issues? I guess I’ll have to muster up the courage to talk to him once. Please give me the courage when the time comes, T^T Finally, unable to stand my own stickiness, even though it wasn’t hot, the cool air made me feel damp somehow, so I decided to take a shower to feel refreshed. And why does North have to interrupt my shower like this?

Knock knock knock    “Ter”

“What! I’m almost done.” I shouted while washing my face, damn it, the soap got into my eyes.

“Better hurry, someone’s here to see you.”

“Who is it?”

“Don’t know.” The voice on the other side whispered as if afraid the person they just mentioned would hear. Who could it be? Foam or Phoon? It can’t be them, North knows those two.

“Who came?” I asked after changing clothes and stepping out of the bathroom to see only North alone. There was no one else around.

“They’re waiting outside, they wouldn’t come in when I invited them.” I nodded to show I understood. I hung up my towel and went outside to meet the person waiting. I saw the tall figure of someone leaning against the wall in front of the room. He had one hand covering his mouth, but I could see he was smiling.

Yes…his eyes were smiling with evident joy.

“Phii Johan.” I called out. Phii Johan turned towards my voice, “What are you smiling about?” Instead of asking what he wanted first, I asked about his smile.

Damn, my curiosity is really something.

“Nothing.” Phii Johan said as he straightened up from the wall, “Just saw something good lately.”

“Oh…okay.” I wanted to ask what those good things were, but I’ll leave it for now. “So, is there something you need? You came all the way here. By the way, how did you know my room number?”

“Well, I was sent here. They said if I came, I’d meet someone. Lucky me.” Phii Johan muttered the last part as if he didn’t intend for me to hear it, “Come on, let’s go.”

“Huh?” I looked confused. He hadn’t even told me why he was here, and what did he mean by ‘let’s go’? But Phii Johan didn’t respond and just started walking away.

“Uh, wait a moment, please.” I called out, “North, could you watch my room? I’m going outside for a bit.” I told North who was in the room, and he looked just as confused.

“Ha, where are we going?”

“I don’t know.” I said, and then rushed to put on my shoes to follow Phii Johan. Going out in just a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops should be fine, right? He was in a hurry. I didn’t have time to change. T^T

“So, where are we going?” I asked when I caught up with Phii Johan.

“Just a while ago, I got a call out of the blue.”

“From the number I’ve been trying to call repeatedly without any answer, and suddenly it calls and works just fine. It’s really annoying.”

It didn’t take me long to process what he said, and my heart started pounding even though I hadn’t seen him yet. Ohhh, that’s great, it’s great that he’s back, I hope nothing’s wrong.

“He sounded tired. He must have gone through a lot these past couple of days. Instead of explaining anything, not at all. The first thing he said was so annoying.”    “Annoying, you say?” I repeated his words.

“He said.”

“Jo…I want to see him.”    Seriously…

   My heart fluttered…

   Thinking that I’m about to meet Phii Hill, in his room…

   Let’s go to his room, come on!!

   And I don’t even know what condition he’ll be in, if he was beaten or not, or if he was tortured. Is this really his grandfather or some Yakuza?

   And most importantly, I wasn’t sure if I would survive the ride to Phii Hill’s condo. Phii Johan drives scarier than I ever thought, especially when you’re in the car with him. I prayed that this seatbelt would save my life and that the airbags would work normally.

   The luxury car made a sharp turn into the condo’s underground parking, almost making me lose my grip. Phew, finally here…

   Thank you to whatever got us here safely.

   Amen…

   I let out a sigh of relief as the luxury car came to a complete stop in the underground parking of the tall condo building. Let me get out of here quickly, I need to breathe some fresh air. I looked around the parking area, which was spacious and packed with cars. Lucky for Phii Johan, he had a reserved spot.

   “It’s good I bought a parking space.” Phii Johan said as he got out and locked the car.

“You bought it?”

“Yeah, for when I come to see Hill. I hate looking for parking, so I just bought one. Even though I don’t visit much anymore.”

Wow, who buys a parking spot in a friend’s condo just because they hate looking for parking? I admire his wealth.

“He’s really back.” Phii Johan pointed to another luxury car parked in the VIP section.

Phii Hill’s car…

It’s nice to see that the parking spot isn’t empty anymore.

I couldn’t help but smile slightly, which made Phii Johan look at me with a bit of annoyance. Am I getting on someone’s nerves again? He was the one smiling earlier at my place, and I didn’t say anything about that.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked as we walked towards the elevator.

“What?”

“About that good thing you mentioned earlier.”

“Oh.” Phii Johan went silent as if he was pondering something.    “I won’t tell.”

…Then why bother thinking about it?

“Hey, young man, here to visit your friend?” One of the security guards greeted us as we were heading inside.

“Yes.”

“He just got back a little while ago, looked like a zombie, just finished exams or what?”

“The semester hasn’t started yet, uncle. It starts tomorrow.”

“Oh, is that so? Good luck, young man.”

“Goodbye.” Phii Johan and I waved to the security guard before we had to take the elevator up.

“Why did the security uncle ask if we finished our exams?” I asked Phii Johan. Now, it was just the two of us in the elevator. I didn’t know why it felt so quiet, even though this condo is quite large. Maybe it’s because of the cold weather, so everyone would rather stay wrapped up in their warm blankets.

“Well, the guys, during exam season, they’re like this. Even Hill gets all ragged.”    “Really? I’ve never seen that.” I really haven’t seen it. Maybe because his university studies are much more intense than high school. In high school, he seemed so laid back, too laid back, to the point where he still had time to tutor me even when exams were near.

“You’d want to see it, though. When he doesn’t get enough sleep, he gets really irritable.”

I just smiled at him, imagining what it would be like during our medical exams. From what I’ve heard, it’s not an ordinary experience. I’d like to see what Phii Hill looks like as a zombie.

The elevator stopped right on time, on the 9th floor, huh? We walked along the corridor until we reached the end. When I peeked outside, the view was pretty good, better than from my own dorm, probably because it’s higher up and has a better angle.

“This is the room. Knock on it.” Phii Johan told me as we stopped in front of the room at the end of the hallway. Ohhh, am I really going to see him? How should I look, and what should I say first? Hello, how are you, or how have you been? What should I do, ohhh, and if he’s covered in blood from injuries, I’d need to tend to his wounds, right?

Ohhh, don’t overthink it, Ter, just knock!

Knock knock knock.

Silence…

I turned to look at Phii Johan, wondering why there was no response from inside.

And just as I was about to ask Phii Johan,

“Hey!!” I exclaimed in surprise when suddenly there was a force pulling from inside the door, which had been ajar since who knows when, and before I knew it, I was pulled into a tight embrace.

Phii Hill!!?

   The next thing I knew, I was already being held by the taller guy. I hadn’t even had a chance to look up at his face before a firm hand pulled me close to a solid chest, leaving me barely able to move.

   Huuuuuh, let me go, you can’t just do this out of nowhere! T^T

   Thump!

   Thump!

   And then…uh…don’t tell me, he’s not wearing a shirt!!!

   Heyyyyy!!!!

   I could feel the small droplets of water on his skin, indicating he had just showered. Ohhh, I can’t take it anymore, help me, Phii Johan, help me, my heart can’t handle this!!

   “Too much, too much.” Phii Johan’s elongated voice made Phii Hill’s grip on me loosen slightly, though he didn’t let go, “The kid’s heart might give out.”    It might be embarrassing…but Phii Johan is right, T^T. I might die of a heart attack.

Phii Hill didn’t say anything, just moved me a bit to look at him more clearly. It was still the same Phii Hill, just looking more tired and worn out than usual, his hair slightly slicked back from being wet. As for everything else…    Before I could think further, his handsome face leaned down, pressing his prominent nose gently against my neck, his warm breath coming in and out steadily like someone exhausted seeking comfort, but the difference was that Phii Hill was intentionally rubbing his nose along my neck.

Wait a minute, do people hug like this?

“You smell good.” Phii Hill said as he took a deep breath. I was at a loss, letting my heart race wildly, then when I came to my senses, I gently pushed Phii Hill away with my trembling hands, because I heard Phii Johan coughing several times, but it seemed like Phii Hill wasn’t very willing to let go.    “Show some consideration, hello, Hill, can you see me?”

“Jo.” Phii Hill turned to look at the one calling, releasing me from his embrace, “Thanks.” His words of thanks made Phii Hill look a bit more pleased.

“Hmm. No problem. You’re okay now, right? Fah and Arthit were worried about you.”

“I’m okay. I’ll tell them myself.” Phii Hill said, finally letting go of my arm but still holding my hand.

He won’t let go, huh? Huuuuh, T^T

“I should’ve taken a picture. I didn’t think you’d dare to do something like this.

Look, the kid’s about to explode.” Phii Johan pointed at me, making Phii Hill turn to observe. I was very aware that my face must be very red because it was burning hot now. Phii Hill smiled indulgently at me. I couldn’t help but glare back at him.

My neck still feels warm…

“Did you see him?” Phii Hill asked.

“Saw him.” Phii Johan replied, revealing a sly smile. Oh, I believe this is part of

Phii Johan’s charm, “Saw him fully.”

“How was it?”

“Well…probably fine.” Phii Johan shrugged, then feigned disinterest, “I’ve got things to do, so I’ll go first. Bye.”

“Bye.” Phii Hill responded.

“Wait, Phii Jo, you’re leaving already?” No way, you can’t leave me here with Phii Hill. Look, even just now…sigh. I’m definitely not going to survive this, don’t leave me here, brother, T^T, “And how am I supposed to get back?”

“You can stay over if you want.” Phii Hill suddenly interjected.

“No…no way.” Absolutely not. It’s like choosing between dying by suicide or having a heart attack from him not wearing a shirt!

“Alright then, I’m off.” Phii Johan said, waving goodbye one last time before walking away. How did it end up like this?

“Come in first.” Phii Hill said, leaving me no choice but to step into his room. Phii Hill slowly let go of my hand and picked up a small towel to lightly dry his hair, “You can sit on the sofa, I’ll get you some water.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and sat down on the large sofa with ease. This room is incredibly spacious, like four or five of my rooms combined. As you enter, you see the sofa and TV, and there’s a kitchen counter over there. I can’t really see the inside from here, but it’s beautifully decorated and very tidy.

Waai

It’s my first time here, so I couldn’t help but look around. The shoe rack over there is full of shoes – student shoes, sports shoes, canvas shoes, and the most daunting is the enormous bookshelf that could make one faint just looking at it. Now I understand why they say he turns into a zombie during exam season.

“Here’s your water.” Phii Hill called out. I, who had been distractedly looking around, turned towards the sound. Since I was sitting and Phii Hill was standing, I ended up seeing something I had initially decided not to look at.

His skin is so fair…and those muscles, even though we’re both guys, there’s a vast difference. His slightly wet hair and well-maintained physique showed how well Phii Hill takes care of himself. It’s good that he’s still wearing long pants.

Otherwise, I might have just fainted.

   But I must say…he’s in really good shape.

   And not to mention,

   Six pack

   What kind of doctor has a six-pack?

   Where do they find the time to work out? 

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 17: It’s Gonna Be Alright

   “…”

Thank you too.

I’m not sure if it was out of nervousness or what, but I couldn’t bring myself to say “thank you” back, and I wasn’t even sure what I was thanking him for. Thanking him for still thinking of me and caring, for not intentionally leaving me, or for never changing?

Thank you for everything, I guess.

We locked eyes for a moment before I realized and quickly looked down at the dessert menu to hide my flushed face, flipping through the pages without actually seeing the pictures or names of the items. It was just to cover up my embarrassment.

Phii Hill didn’t say anything, but it seemed like he could sense what I wanted to express…I’m not sure. That’s what I felt. I liked this warm feeling in my heart right now, as if there was no need for further words.

“Your face is red.” His soft voice came gently while he still had his chin resting on his hand, not looking away from me…I’ve noticed that as long as I’m within his sight, Phii Hill never lets his gaze wander, as if he’s afraid I might disappear.    And those sharp eyes of his…they always make me feel so awkward, staring like that…who could stay calm under such scrutiny?

“Then stop looking.” I said, letting out a quiet sigh. He shouldn’t tease me about having a red face when he’s the one causing it!

“No.” He replied with a cheerful expression, turning back into the mischievous Phii Hill I knew. I don’t know if it’s because his mood changes quickly or if he’s just good at hiding his emotions.

“Then I’ll charge you for looking.” I said playfully. Phii Hill raised his eyebrows slightly and then burst into a chuckle.

“How much?” Phii Hill asked with a cunning smile, his eyes sparkling as if he was genuinely ready to pay.

“A hundred per look.”

“Hmm…” He went silent for a moment, pondering before asking, “Is there a flat rate? Like paying once to look for the whole month?”

“…” I furrowed my brows at him, knowing I was joking, but Phii Hill responded as if he was half-serious, as if he would pay if I really charged, “That’s expensive.”

“Yes.” Phii Hill said, “If I pay in cash, do I get any special promotions?”    “Promotions?” I raised my eyebrows in question.

“Like…” Phii Hill said while leaning his handsome face closer. His charming smile seemed to be hiding something, his sharp eyes twinkling, causing me to instinctively move back, even though he hadn’t come that close, “…I could borrow you to cuddle at home for two or three days.”

“!!!” I had to glare at him, Oh my god, since when did he start flirting like this!! I made a face to show I wasn’t playing along anymore, which made the tall figure give an affectionate smile before looking back at the menu.

   Sigh. It’s really not good for my heart…That moment he leaned in and smiled just now, anyone would be dead for sure, and honestly…me too, it felt like I died once already.

   “May I take your order, please?” a sweet, clear voice from the waitress at our table asked. I hesitated for a while before ordering just a few things, while Phii Hill ordered nothing…still not fond of sweets, I guess.

But he always brings me out to eat them.

“Um…excuse me, can I…can I have your number, customer?” the young waitress asked nervously after noting down our order. Phii Hill finally looked away from me to glance at the asker, “Ah…my friend wants it.” The waitress smiled awkwardly, pointing to another female staff member standing at the counter, who waved her hand dismissively, looking more embarrassed than anything.    Phii Hill didn’t respond right away, turned back to me with a half-smile as if asking for my opinion. I could only frown at him, just answer her quickly, don’t leave it to me like that!!

“…” I forced a dry smile when the waitress looked at me, why isn’t Phii Hill saying anything, T^T. She looked back and forth between us, then covered her mouth, her face turning very red.

“Sorry.” she said before quickly returning to the counter with a hurried demeanor, “They’re dating, you guys. They’re dating!” And then the other staff members quietly squealed, but since the café was empty, we heard it clearly. They seemed really excited.

“Really! So cute, one is handsome, the other is adorable, oh my, I’m so thrilled.”

“He’s really handsome, the kind that should be a national treasure, ahh…”

“Shh, keep it down, he’s taken, you know.”    Wait…that’s not true at all!!

   I wanted to shout a correction so badly, but I couldn’t. Phii Hill just chuckled at my reaction, what’s so funny!?    “Isn’t it true?”

“No.” I said with a slight pout. We’re not dating, when did that happen!

“So, when will it be true then?”

“Well…” I pondered for a moment while picking up my glass of water to drink, then spoke without realizing, “Try to win me over first.”

After I finished speaking, he seemed very pleased, smiling so broadly that his eyes crinkled up. I doubt there’s any photo where Phii Hill smiles this widely; usually, it’s just a slight, charming smile, which is why he’s called ‘the smile thief’ by everyone.

   But believe me,

   The smile on Phii Hill’s face right now…it’s way more heart-stealing.

   Would it be weird to say I don’t want anyone else to see this smile?

   Well, that’s how I feel…I don’t want others to see it, but at the same time, I’m too shy to look at it for too long. Damn, Ter.

   “Oh, and what about the thing you wanted to ask?” Phii Hill spoke up when there was a brief silence between us…I forgot, how could I forget? It’s supposed to be me, the one asking, who should remember.

I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.

“About when you disappeared…can you tell me about it?” I asked softly, worried it might touch on family matters, but Phii Hill didn’t seem too surprised.

“I can tell you, but I’m not sure where to start.” Phii Hill’s face briefly showed concern before relaxing back to normal, probably figuring out where to begin.

“Um, do you remember the first time we met your grandfather?”

“I remember…” I recalled it, that day was one I consider among the worst of my life.

“How much do you want?” I stood there confused by what was happening. I was on my way back home, with a few people around, all of them looking on with interest. A sleek, black European car, the likes of which I’d never seen in my life, had stopped after honking loudly, making me stop abruptly out of confusion.

   A tall, elderly man, about 170 cm tall, wearing a gray coat. His gray hair was styled neatly, giving off an air of dignity, his voice cold and authoritative. He got out of the car and stood in front of me, saying something I didn’t understand.    “Would a hundred thousand be enough?” I furrowed my brows in confusion, why would an old man like this stop his car in front of a student on his way home to ask if I wanted a hundred thousand baht?

   “Excuse me, what is this about?” I asked, but his stern gaze made me instinctively step back.

   “You’re the one dating Hill, right?”

   “Huh? …No, I’m not.” I said truthfully, indeed, I…uh, like…Phii Hill, but we’re not dating at all.

   “Lies!” his voice boomed, making me jump. Did I say something wrong?

   “Stop messing with my grandson.”

   “Excuse me?” If I understood correctly, does Phii Hill’s grandfather hate me?

And why would that be? Right now, my heart is both scared and confused. “Nobody is allowed to mess with my grandson…”

   “Especially you. I hate those who seek personal gain. Tell me, how much do you want, in exchange for leaving my grandson’s life alone?!” It seemed like my silence only made grandfather angrier; he started raising his voice until I was afraid and wanted to run away as far as possible right then.

   “No, sir. I don’t want anything.” I tried to speak without my voice trembling, also trying to suppress my inner feelings. Soon after, two men in black suits got out of the car.

   “Sir, please calm down.” Even though someone tried to intervene, the grandfather didn’t seem to calm down at all. He then ordered one of them to fetch a bag from the car. The grandfather took the bag and with his left hand, he rummaged inside before violently throwing a thick wad of gray banknotes at me, causing them to scatter everywhere.

   “!!!” I instinctively closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I saw many thousand-baht notes scattered all over the floor. I looked at them in shock and felt a sharp pain in my temple.    What on earth are you doing?!

   I wanted to retort angrily, but I had to hold back…I didn’t understand what this was about, but the feeling of being insulted was even stronger. How could I be seen as someone exploiting Phii Hill in his grandfather’s eyes?

   “!!” And before I could say anything, I was startled again when my wrist was pulled back and caught by someone’s arm without me even noticing.

   Phii Hill…!?

   I looked up at the tall figure. Phii Hill was glaring back at his own grandfather, his eyes full of anger…for a moment, it even scared me. It was a level of anger that seemed to surpass even the grandfather’s, but the one being stared at didn’t flinch.

   Phii Hill gently released me from his arm, gently pushing my shoulder to turn me towards him.

   “Are you okay?” His angry eyes turned into a look of concern. I shook my head as an answer. After a while, Phii Hill shifted his gaze back to the tall figure in the coat.

   “Why…are you not satisfied with me?”

   “Do you want me to speak frankly?” Phii Hill replied with an equally icy tone.    “Huh…you stupid grandson, how many times have I told you he’s deceiving you?!” I flinched slightly as he shouted again, causing everyone around to scatter, probably not wanting to get involved in what seemed like a dangerous situation.

   Phii Hill didn’t respond, instead, he gently pulled my wrist towards his car which had been parked nearby for who-knows-how-long.    “Where do you think you’re going?!”

   “I’m going back home to talk to Grandpa.” The tall figure said before leaving the other person fuming. From what I’ve heard, Phii Hill’s grandfather is a hothead, so it probably wasn’t far from the truth. Phii Hill opened the passenger door for me, and the luxury car quickly drove off from the area.

   “What…is all this about?” I asked, not understanding.

   “Nothing. Just a misunderstanding on my part.”

   Hill kept pressing his lips together after hearing that. Instead of the gentle smile comforting me, the throbbing pain was still there.

   If anyone else were in my shoes…they probably wouldn’t feel good either, right?

   “Is it about Phii Hill’s grandpa?”

   “Yes.”

“He said I was after benefits…which isn’t true at all.” I said, feeling hurt. His hand left the steering wheel to gently pat my head.

   “I know. It’s okay, I’ll talk to Grandpa to clear things up.” The tall figure said firmly. If it’s just a misunderstanding, it should be fine. I hope Phii Hill’s grandpa doesn’t really hate me.

   I stole glances at the driver…Phii Hill has always been gentle and kind like this, and that’s what I like about him.

   A FEW DAYS LATER

   “Ter…here.” Phii Hill, in his school uniform with a backpack, handed me a beautiful blue bag filled with various treats. I couldn’t help but smile widely and walked over to him.

   “What’s this?” I took the bag.

   “As an apology…from Grandpa.”

   “Huh?” I raised my eyebrows slightly in confusion, then opened the blue bag to find it full of sweets – cakes, cookies, and other desserts.

   “Grandpa understands now, and he sent these to apologize for his behavior

before.” Those words made me smile broadly again, and even the person in front of me smiled along. Good…that the misunderstanding is cleared up.

   “Thank you.”

   “But…you said you two understood each other. Is there anything else?” I raised my eyebrows in question, yes…because Grandpa should have calmed down by now. That’s why I didn’t understand what Phii Thanmild said about Grandpa earlier.

   “Actually…I didn’t fully understand everything. We have a small agreement…” Phii Hill sighed softly before beginning to explain.

   “What does that mean…you’re not dating then?” Grandpa is always like this, stubborn and never listens to anyone. I believe it has its pros and cons, but it’s not right what Grandpa did to Ter, that’s something I would never accept, even though I might agree with Grandpa on other things.

   “Yes.” I wasn’t just displeased…I was angry at what was happening right in front of me. It’s not something an elder should do…shouting at someone on the street, is that supposed to be right? I didn’t want to criticize someone I love and respect, but Grandpa often does things out of uncontrolled anger.

   “So you’re saying you’re just senior and junior?”

   “Something like that, sir.”

   “Well…from what I know, it’s not just that, tell me the truth!”

   “We’re really not dating.”

   “But I see you take good care of that kid…why is that?”

   “I love him, sir.”    I told the truth.

   That made the person sitting at the desk slam his hand down hard, startling the two housekeepers standing nearby, but I thought I was used to it by now…Grandpa never changes. If he hears something he doesn’t like or doesn’t agree with, it’s been that way since I was a child.

   “You…how dare you say that!”

   “I am telling the truth.”

   “Oh…heavens, my children and grandchildren, all gone mad!! My good son never did as I wished, and now my grandson turns out to be some kind of pervert!”

   “Please retract that statement, grandpa.” The last words didn’t bother me much. It just wouldn’t be right…if it insulted someone I love. No one deserves to be demeaned this way, right?

   “Quite the mouth, did my son teach you to speak like that?”

“I taught him myself.” came the gentle voice of the woman I love most as she softly opened the door. She is my grandmother. Despite the signs of age, her slender figure and grace could not be diminished.

   “I told you to rest, didn’t I?” Grandpa’s previously harsh voice softened noticeably, his stern face now showing concern.

   “I couldn’t sleep because of all the commotion.” Grandma pulled her silk robe tighter, “Hill…give me some support here.” I quickly moved to support her arm.

   “What’s going on with you two, Grandpa and grandson?”

   “It’s Hill…he went and said he loves some boy from who-knows-where, when

he’s just out to deceive him.” Grandpa was still angry about this but didn’t shout anymore because Grandma dislikes loud noises.

   “Is it true?” The small figure of the young woman looked up at me, and I answered truthfully without hesitation, which made Grandma smile.    “That’s wonderful…I thought my grandson would never know how to love.

Bring him to meet me sometime.”

   “Yes, of course.” I smiled sweetly back at her. Grandma taught me differently from Grandpa; he’s a businessman who has been backstabbed so many times he’s become overly suspicious, but Grandma often falls ill, which meant I spent more time with her.

   “You old man should stop being so suspicious. I bet you just said the most

awful things to your only grandson.” Grandma’s words, which seemed to see right through Grandpa, made him fall silent for a moment.

   “Old people are like this, Hill, up and down. Your grandpa didn’t mean to say those things, trust me.” Grandma said. I nodded in understanding.

   “You shouldn’t bring shame to our family by loving another man.” Grandpa said with a colder tone, clenching his teeth as if holding back his anger.

“I knew you, Grandpa would never agree.” I said, making the listener raise an eyebrow in confusion, “So I have a proposal.”

   “What?”

   “I’ll become a doctor…as Grandpa always wanted to be, as you expected from

Dad.” I decided to say what I had prepared. Throughout my life, with Grandpa’s crazy hope of becoming a doctor, when it didn’t work out for him, he pushed it onto Dad, and when Dad couldn’t do it, it all fell on me…even though I never wanted that.

   “Hmm…and will you get the top rank in the exams?”

   “Yes.”

   “And will you graduate with top honors?”

   “Yes.”

   “Good.”

   “No, Hill.” Grandma gently shook my arm, “You can’t force someone else’s life like this. I know Hill doesn’t want to become one. Don’t force yourself to follow Grandpa’s wishes.”

   “It’s okay, Grandma. I’m fine.” I said, looking into those dull gray eyes with confidence. I will be fine…as long as I just abandon my dreams.

   It’s okay…as long as the person I love is still by my side.

   “If you’re not dating…then fine, but I have a condition. You must follow our agreement, and you absolutely must not do anything that would disgrace our family.”

   “Yes.” I agreed without hesitation, then gently supported Grandma back to her bedroom to rest.

   “Grandpa is stubborn…he never changes…when he was young, he was even

worse. I don’t know what I was thinking of marrying someone like that.”

Grandma sighed softly as she slowly lay down on the bed.

“But I believe that time will prove your love. By then, Grandpa will definitely

have to accept it.” Her beautiful face smiled sweetly, making me smile too. I knew well that…changing Grandpa’s mind would be difficult. There was no use in arguing back or acting like a rebellious child unwilling to listen.

   “Take some sweets to that boy as an apology, okay? Grandpa did something bad, didn’t he? Tell him Grandpa sent it, I think Grandpa feels at least a little guilty for acting out emotionally.”

   “Grandma, you always understand Grandpa completely, don’t she?”    “It’s always been like this for nearly forty years we’ve been together. Your grandpa’s kindness is hidden under all that suspicion. Did you notice when I entered Grandpa’s room, he didn’t shout loudly?”

   “Yes.” I nodded in agreement.

   “Grandpa has never been bad to me, believe it or not, that’s what makes me feel special.”

   “Mean to the whole world, but kind to just one person.” I echoed the phrase Grandma used to say when I was a child.

   “Yes, and Grandma has a gut feeling that her grandson will be the same as

Grandpa.”

   And then, a month later, Grandma’s health deteriorated. The family doctor suggested she should live in a place with clean air, so Grandpa and Grandma moved to the North. My parents and I couldn’t move with them because of my father’s work, which led to me seeing Grandma less often.

   I listened intently to what was being explained before me. In truth, Grandpa still didn’t fully understand our situation; he and Phii Hill just had an agreement. That Phii Hill had to become a top doctor and graduate with first-class honors, that’s quite harsh, T^T

“Do you want to be a doctor?” I asked, knowing it wouldn’t be easy for someone who didn’t want to pursue it.

“Not exactly.” Phii Hill replied, pondering for a moment, “But I can manage.”    Even though he said he could manage, if he really didn’t want to…

“But don’t you have other dreams?” I furrowed my brows, feeling uneasy upon hearing what Phii Hill had said.

To be with me, does he have to give up his dreams?

   That’s not fair at all.

   “I do.” The tall figure said with a deep, soft voice, lifting his hand to gently touch mine on the table, “But they’re probably not as important as the person standing in front of me right now.”

The serious glint in his eyes left me speechless. I could only press my lips together firmly to suppress some overwhelming feeling in my chest, but it didn’t work. His firm hand squeezed mine lightly, indicating that it was okay, that there was nothing for me to worry about and everything would be fine.

I stared into those earnest eyes, even though I was still trembling inside…There’s no need. I no longer believe when you say it’s nothing. There must be something you’re carrying, right?

The words “it’s nothing.” They’ve never been true.

“Don’t say it’s nothing anymore.” because when you say it’s nothing, it usually means I’m the only one who’s fine, isn’t that right?

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, don’t say it, it’s an order…it’ll become a forbidden word you’re not allowed to say.” I said, even though I hadn’t finished organizing my thoughts. Phii Hill looked at me with slight surprise as the dessert I had just ordered was served.

So, I started dealing with the cake out of frustration.

“When I say ‘it’s nothing,’ it means we both will be fine, okay?” Suddenly Phii Hill spoke up after watching me eat the cake for a while. I raised my eyebrows at him, understanding without any further explanation needed, which was good. If it were me, it would surely take another couple of days.

“Oh, uh, that sounds good.” I said, “and don’t think about hiding anything anymore, understand?” I put on a stern face, making him crack a small, amused smile.

“I never intended to hide anything. I just thought if our agreement went well, there wouldn’t be any issues…but it didn’t turn out as planned.”

“What didn’t go as planned?” I asked, curiously, preparing myself a little for the next question, “Does it have something to do with you disappearing? And with Grandma, too.” I ventured a guess, and it seemed to be right. Phii Hill raised his eyebrows in slight surprise when I mentioned Grandma.

“Did you know about Grandma too?” Phii Hill asked with a puzzled look, “You,

Jo…”

Oops…That’s bad. Phii Johan told me not to let Phii Hill know that Phii Johan was the one who spilled the beans.

“Forget it, the truth is as you thought.” The tall figure sighed heavily as if it was painful to continue, which made me hesitant to ask further, as if I was about to press on someone’s wound.

Sigh…today has been quite the day, I might as well count today as one of the toughest days of my life.    Rrrrrrrrrr

“Excuse me.” Phii Hill said politely, then picked up the call.

“Yes, Mom.”

(Hill, where are you?)

   “At the coffee shop.”

(In or out of the city?)

   “In the city.”

(Oh…that’s bad. They’ve been out looking for you for the past ten minutes, they should be there soon. Sigh. We shouldn’t have been late, now they’ve lost us.)

   “…”

(I’ll talk to them…Your dad had urgent business, he’s been on the plane since noon.)

   “Yes.” I didn’t understand what the two of them were talking about; Phii Hill’s mother didn’t give details, but it seemed like they understood each other with just that.

(Can you rush back to the condo in time, or should it be now? How are we going to handle this?) The voice on the other end of the line sounded very anxious, causing me to feel a bit worried about what might happen next.

“No need to talk to him, Mom, I’ll go back and handle it myself.” Phii Hill responded before hanging up and glancing outside the cafe to see a black luxury car pulling up next to his car.

Before three men in dark suits got out of the car, walked into the cafe, and headed straight towards us.

“Young master, you are urgently requested to come with us.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 16: Everywhere You Want To Go

   “Thanmild, should go see Dr. Tonfa’s dad in psychiatric examination room four.” Phii Johan teased.

“Give me a break, go tease someone else.”

“But it’s true, I think you are in bad shape.”

“Ugh, you have gone crazy.” Phii Arthit said with disgust.

“Crazy people aren’t just nuts, you know.” Phii Tonfa retorted, “It’s probably because of accumulated stress. Even doctors can get sick, it’s not unusual. Our field of study is highly stressful and competitive, so when there’s added pressure and stress, it can lead to mental health issues. If we start criticizing them, it just hurts them more.”

I turned my attention to listen intently to Phii Tonfa’s explanation, much like when a doctor is explaining details to a patient’s family.

“It’s not strange for someone to lose control. It’s an illness, after all.”    “And do your dad’s patients include anyone like Mild?” Phii Johan asked Phii Tonfa.

“Yeah, plenty of my dad’s patients are medical students from our university. Not just doctors, but pharmacists, dentists, or anyone under high pressure. Sometimes it’s not just the competitive nature of the study, but personal or family issues can contribute too. Mild might have depression. I’m not sure if she’s on medication; when someone with depression misses their meds for just a couple of days, their condition can worsen significantly.”

“Oh…you really want to be a psychiatrist, don’t you?” Phii Johan remarked, “Alright then, as a doctor myself, I’ll refrain from speaking harmfully to patients.”    “Does Phii Mild have depression?” I interjected into the seniors’ conversation.

“I was just guessing, but yes, many of my dad’s patients have that condition. Oh, and my dad is a psychiatrist with a private practice.” Phii Tonfa said kindly, “Nowadays, this illness is very common, but most people refuse to see a doctor. Really, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not crazy, you’re just sick. If you’re sick, you need to see a specialist. Physical therapy for physical ailments, psychotherapy for mental ones.”

“That’s how it is.” I nodded, understanding and pondering. It’s no wonder someone might threaten self-harm; people always have problems that others can’t see.

“That’s the way to be a doctor, and watch out for Hill, forget him.” Phii Johan added, and everyone chuckled slightly at his words, “Oh, and about what we heard earlier, it’s about Hill’s grandfather, right?” he then turned to ask the other two friends, and both Phii Johan and Phii Arthit exchanged a blank look.

“Chills, man…Can we not talk about Hill’s grandfather?” Phii Arthit said, rubbing his arms.

“Did it happen to you too? Hahaha.” Phii Johan laughed.

“Yeah, Hill’s grandfather might be sick too. Let’s all go see Tonfa’s dad together.”

“Why?” I asked again, interrupting, since from what the seniors were saying, it seemed they knew something about the grandfather. After I asked, the three seniors exchanged hesitant glances.    “Well…”

“It’s not worth saying.” Phii Arthit whispered to Phii Johan, but sorry, I’m this close, how could I not hear, and that makes me even more suspicious.

“Since we’re already here, why not tell the little one so we can understand each other a bit, then maybe have Hill explain it clearly later.” Phii Tonfa said with a big sigh.

“Would that be good? But I think Hill doesn’t want to talk about this. He doesn’t like telling family stories to others.” Phii Arthit replied.    “And how do you guys know?” Phii Tonfa asked.

“We’ve encountered him, right, Joe? How did you encounter it?”

“Shit, he was creepy.” Phii Johan said with a sarcastic smile, while rubbing his arm like Phii Arthit did earlier, “I thought I’d trick Hill. Sorry, I’ve got money.”    “It’s not about being scared of being tricked out of money, but about you tricking

Hill into becoming a jerk like you.”

“Oh really…And what about you, Arthit?”

“He says I’m bad news, I smoke, drink, go to pubs, all that low stuff. Not suitable to be around Hill. Well, I’d like to tell Grandpa that his grandson isn’t much different from me.” Phii Arthit said with annoyance, “Maybe only Sky passes the old man’s standards.”

“Of course, that’s what being good is all about.” Phii Tonfa said jokingly.    “Does Phii Hill’s grandpa not like you too?” I decided to ask, “Including me, right?”

My question made Phii Johan look troubled again.

“Well…yeah, I think, Hill’s grandpa is old, you know…stubborn. Even with just

Hill’s friends, he’s like this, with lovers…especially if they’re of the same sex, I bet he won’t accept it. Hill feels bad about it too. He apologized to me several times, so I decided to let go of Hill’s grandpa’s opinions. We’re friends with him, not with his grandpa.”

“Last time, Phii Hill’s grandpa wasn’t joking with me either.” I said, somehow noticing my fist was clenched, Phoon gently pried my hand open and held it softly, “But Phii Hill said grandpa was joking and even sent an apology. After that…I haven’t seen any issues related to grandpa.”

“Hill won’t tell.” Phii Johan sighed, “Especially not to someone he loves. Even if

Nong Ter asks, he might not tell.”

“The issue with grandpa…for Hill, it’s probably the heaviest problem in his life.”    I looked down, letting Phoon gently squeeze my hand and Foam stroke my shoulder.

“If I ask, Phii Hill won’t tell…right?”

“It’s not a problem that can be easily fixed, and Hill is like this, he likes to carry everything on his own. What he wants you to do is trust him and wait for him to solve the problem himself.”

“What…so what happened?” I asked, unable to resist, Phii Johan sighed, covering his forehead, “Phii Johan…do you know?”

“Uh…yeah, I know. Hill didn’t tell me, but I found out myself.”

“What…what is it?”

“Sigh. I shouldn’t…Hill might get mad at me if I accidentally tell you.” Phii Johan said with a tense voice, but everyone was eagerly waiting for what Phii Johan would say next.

“Sigh, you all look so curious.”

“Alright, I’ll tell you. Hill’s grandfather is a businessman…since I’m in the same business circle, it was easier to find out. He’s quite strict and disciplined, yet kindhearted, but after one incident…he changed, almost becoming a different person.”

“Hill’s grandmother was hit by a car.”

“At the main road’s pedestrian crossing, a pickup truck was driving at high speed. From the CCTV footage, the driver…deliberately drove into the woman who was crossing the road alone.”

“On purpose.”

“It happened about a year ago.”    A year ago…?

   “Yes…it’s not a problem that can be easily fixed, is it? If you want grandpa to get better…it probably depends only on grandma now.”

“Oh, shit.” Phii Johan softly slapped his own mouth, “I ended up telling it, didn’t I? Hill will definitely be mad.”

Phii Johan said that Hill’s grandma was hit by a car last year…

“Phii Joe, do you remember around which month last year?”

“Uh…if I remember correctly, it should be February or March, something like that.”

March…?

March was exactly when Phii Hill disappeared…

At first, I thought Phii Hill disappeared for some other reason…so I was hesitant to hear more. Sometimes, I even thought he might have gone because of someone else. So I was still afraid to hear the whole truth.

Actually, there was a major problem within Phii Hill’s family after all.

If that’s the case…I won’t let him bear everything alone anymore.

I didn’t ask Phii Johan anything more because he said to ask Phii Hill for the details himself, but what got to me was when Phii Johan said that even if I asked Phii Hill, he might not talk about it.

Because family matters are sensitive.

Even if you’re someone trustworthy, if it’s internal stuff, outsiders should try not to get too involved. I remembered what my father once told me, but the thing is, it’s exactly what I’m most curious about. It probably has to do with the reason why my brother disappeared, Phii Johan mentioned February or March. We parted ways around March, on the senior students’ last day.

Yes…it was the early morning of the next day.

I just kept thinking aimlessly, chatting a bit with my two friends and some seniors while waiting for the last set of photos, which Phoon was supposed to take because I was starting to get lazy.

We’ve been waiting for nearly an hour now. The people rehearsing upstairs haven’t taken a break at all, Phii Napdao is really tough. Some of the girls were starting to get sore feet from wearing high heels for so long, but they still forced themselves to smile or else they’d have to start walking from the beginning again.    “Is it usually this long for rehearsals?” I asked Phii Meili, who was busy on her phone.

“Yes, because this morning there was all that fuss. So we’re having an intense rehearsal without breaks, we probably won’t get any rest now, the next break will be when we disband.” Phii Meili looked up to answer me, “Hill looks so bored, he probably doesn’t want to rehearse anymore. But I think the doctor doesn’t need to rehearse anymore, he’s got everything down perfectly. We’re just walking back and forth because others mess up.”

I glanced around, looking for the person in question. Phii Hill had a blank face.

Not smiling sweetly like Phii Napdao had instructed, but even so…

Still handsome…

What kind of person is this…

“Oh, but today we’re short of people…both Doctor Mild, her friend, and some others didn’t show up for rehearsal, we might not be able to take the group photo.” Phii Meili suddenly remembered, right, you need everyone for a group photo, “Let me go check first.”

Then Phii Meili got up to talk to Phii Napdao. Phii Napdao seemed to have just remembered too, taking a moment to think before announcing over the loudspeaker.

“Forgot about that, we don’t have everyone today, let’s do the photos another day, sorry to the photographers, okay, now we’ll do the final walk-through, if everyone does well, you can go home.” Phii Napdao said, which visibly relieved everyone on stage, before they all went backstage, and the music started playing again.

   If we’re not taking the final photos, why make me wait for an hour?

   And so, the final walk-through went smoothly, probably because the promise of “going home” made everyone more focused.

   “Phew, finally done for today.” Phii Jijo’s voice came from afar as she stretched out lazily, and everyone started to leave the stage one by one.

The noise of the whole crew started to rise, and the staff began packing up. It was well past three in the afternoon, almost four. I’ve been here shooting since morning, damn, my first job was quite intense.

“Finally done, what’s next, Ter?” Foam asked me, “Are you heading back?”

“Uh…yeah.” I took a moment to think. Actually, I could go back now, but…    I looked around for Phii Hill, spotting him talking to Phii Napdao for a bit before his eyes met mine. His sharp features softened into a slight smile when he saw I was looking at him too.

Ugh, caught sneaking a peek, T^T

I quickly averted my gaze, although it was too late. Then Phii Hill started walking towards me.

“Nong Ter, if possible, don’t tell Hill that I was the one who told you about that.” suddenly Phii Johan came over and whispered to me softly. Phii Hill raised an eyebrow in confusion seeing Phii Johan whisper something, and there was also a hint of irritation mixed in his expression, his thick brows furrowing, indicating he was starting to get annoyed. I quickly nodded to Phii Johan to show I understood.    “What’s going on?” Phii Hill asked Phii Johan in a firm voice, making me feel a bit uneasy for him. The person being questioned just gave a forced smile. “Nothing.”

The one who received the answer didn’t seem too satisfied with it, but his irritation softened into a gentle smile when he looked at me.

“Such a double standard.” Phii Johan whispered loud enough for the other to hear, causing Phii Tonfa and Phii Arthit to chuckle a bit at their friends’ reactions.

“I’m tired of the jealous ones.” Phii Arthit said jokingly. Phii Hill just shrugged slightly, showing he didn’t care.

“How was it? Did you wait long?” Phii Hill asked before sitting down beside me, making me inadvertently move closer to Phii Meili.

“Very long.” I said honestly, making a slight frown, which made the person next to me laugh.

“But you still waited, I’m glad.” He said in a teasing tone that annoyed me.

“I was waiting to take pictures, not for you.” I retorted.

“Hmm, I saw you looking at me.” I really didn’t like Phii Hill’s teasing tone; it was both annoying and somehow made me feel embarrassed all the time.    “Oh my, staring like that, are you going to eat him up, doctor?” Phii Meili said, sticking her tongue out. I hadn’t noticed Phii Hill was staring that intensely.

“Phii Meiliii.” I said through gritted teeth, quietly asking her to stop teasing, with an expression of T^T.

“Oh, look, the doctor is all red, embarrassed. What should we do?” After she said that, I had to turn my back to Phii Hill and face Phii Meili instead, then made a pouty face at her.

“Stop teasing me.” I said softly, before hearing Phii Hill chuckle a little. I couldn’t help but turn around to scold him with a scowl, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Phii Hill was still smirking, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t make that angry face.”    “Hmph…It’s good to be a little scared.”

“It’s too cute instead.” What the person next to me said left me at a loss for words, unlike the speaker who continued to grin cheekily, seemingly unaware of how much my heart was pounding.    “No…no need.”

“Alright, that’s enough, I can’t stand watching anymore. My heart hurts.” Phii Johan said before standing up.

“What’s hurting? We’ve got friends in moments like this too, I’m proud watching.” Phii Tonfa said, making me frown in confusion. Was this side of Phii Hill really that unusual? Before, he was somewhat like this…but he wasn’t this forward with me.

“Seems like the one with the hurting heart isn’t me, right?” Phii Hill said, seemingly playing along, which made Phii Johan look both confused and stunned.

“Do you…know?” the other asked. Phii Hill didn’t reply, just gave a sly smile,

“You…really know a lot, huh? Annoying.”

“You know just as much.”

“Huh?”

“Whatever, are we going to head back?”

“Let’s go back, what else are we waiting for?” Phii Johan said, slightly irritated by what Phii Hill had said. The person next to him didn’t care about the annoyance, seeming more pleased with having teased his friend. Then everyone stood up to get ready to leave, except Phii Meili who had to stay with the staff.

“See you, drive safely, everyone.” Phii Meili said while waving.

“See you.” I said with a broad smile, expressing my thanks and giving a respectful gesture, followed by Foam and Phoon doing the same.

On the way back, Phii Hill was still walking beside me, which sparked no small amount of whispering from the two friends walking behind us. They were whispering but clearly wanted me to hear, oh, you guys are really something, aren’t you? I had to turn back and glare at them once.

“So, how are you getting back?” Foam asked me again once we reached the parking lot.

“I guess I’ll walk.” I said. Normally, I walk to and from work at the studio, especially since the dorm isn’t far and I don’t have a car.

“You can ride with us.” Foam offered.

“It’s okay, I’ll take Ter back.” Phii Hill interjected.

“Oh…alright, see you later, Ter.”

“Wait…hold on.” I hadn’t even agreed to go back with him, why didn’t Foam ask anything? Then my two friends said goodbye to the senior doctors and rode off on their parked motorcycles not far away.

“Don’t abandon me, man, I’m doomed if I have to ride alone.” Foam said jokingly, making me stick out my tongue at them as their motorcycles sped off. I could still hear them arguing about which way to go.

What time will these guys get to the dorm?

“Are you sure your friend won’t get lost again?” Phii Tonfa asked.

“I don’t know.” I replied, “It might be easier on the way back. Plus, I just taught Phoon about left and right a moment ago.” Phii Tonfa nodded, understanding but still slightly worried.

“Well then, see you later, Hill, goodbye Nong Ter.” Phii Johan said with a smile. I smiled back, as did Phii Tonfa and Phii Arthit, before the three of them got into their fancy sports car. Not long after, the sound of tires screeching against the road was painfully loud, and within a short time, they were gone. Man, Phii Johan really drives like a maniac.

And that left me…with Phii Hill.

“Let’s go.” Phii Hill said, extending his hand for me to take. I hesitated for a moment but then decided to take his hand. He seemed a bit surprised but didn’t say anything; his large hand gently held mine as if he was afraid to hurt me, yet firm enough to ensure I wouldn’t pull away.

Here we go again…a warm feeling surged in my chest, my heart wasn’t beating too fast to be scary, but it was strong enough to let me know something was reacting to the gentle warmth being transmitted. He led me to his luxury car, opening the driver’s side door for me. Wow…such a gentleman, I couldn’t help but think sarcastically.

Phii Hill sat in the driver’s seat, then started the car.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked. I fell silent, thinking. I wanted to go back to the dorm, but there were still many things I wanted to ask him.

“…Uh. I don’t know.” I dodged answering. If not back to the dorm, where else could I go? I wasn’t even hungry for food yet.    “Not going back to the dorm?”

“Well…I guess.” I said softly. If I said I’m not going back to the dorm, it would seem like I want to go somewhere else with him, and the person beside me smiled a little, probably thinking I wanted to spend more time with him.

Not at all…I just have questions I want to ask!

“Are you hungry yet?” Phii Hill asked as the luxury car started to move towards the exit of the parking lot.

“Not yet.”

“Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“Um…not really.”

“Do you want to eat some cake?” Phii Hill suggested. Usually, when we didn’t know where to go, Phii Hill would decide by opting for desserts, which I always jokingly agreed to since I could eat sweets endlessly. Here, I hadn’t even had my fill like I wanted. Yes…the issue was not having enough money. After paying the increased dorm fees and other university expenses, I was reluctant to ask for more money from home.

“Let’s eat.”

My answer made the driver immediately turn onto the main road. I was thinking about what to ask while we were in the car, but I was also afraid to broach a big topic like family matters.

“Here.”

“Yes?”

“There’s something I want to ask about.” My words made Phii Hill raise his eyebrows slightly in surprise.

“What is it?”

“Will you answer everything?”

“Everything.”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t want to talk about?” I asked cautiously. Phii Hill fell silent for a moment, his gaze not leaving the road ahead.

“There is.” His response made me swallow hard, and what was more unsettling was his steady, unwavering tone. It seemed like Phii Hill knew I would ask, “But I will tell you. If you want to know.”

“You’ve never told anyone else?”

“No…” Phii Hill paused for a moment, “But Jo knows.”

“Phii Jo…?” I echoed his words, and Phii Hill, of course, knew that Phii Johan was aware, “Why did you think Phii Joe would know?”

“Jo is curious by nature; he probably went and dug up the information.” Phii Hill said as he skillfully turned the steering wheel into a small alley, was that a polite way of calling someone nosy?

Before I could ask more, the car stopped in front of a small coffee shop with no customers inside, which made me feel somewhat relieved…I wasn’t ready to be stared at for being with a senior from the medical school. I felt a strange embarrassment as I stepped into the shop with Phii Hill. The female staff’s eyes widened, and they nudged each other, looking somewhat envious. Well, I’ve never had girls look at me like that before.

We sat at the last table in the shop, and a waitress brought over the menu.    I secretly wondered if Phii Hill had come here with someone else before, because typically, he wasn’t fond of sweets or coffee. If he wasn’t here with me, Phii Hill wouldn’t step into a coffee shop at all, except for my family’s place…Oh, my family runs a café, my mom manages it all by herself, it’s actually a restaurant, but since she likes baking, it also serves as a café and dessert place.

“Their hot chocolate here is good.” suddenly the person across from me said. So I stopped letting my thoughts wander.

“Do you come here often?”

“Just once.”

“With whom?” I blurted out. He smiled slightly, as if pleased, but I wasn’t jealous at all! I was just curious, that’s all.

“Alone.”

“I don’t believe that, you don’t like sweets.” I said…If he doesn’t like eating sweets, why would he come alone? He must have come with someone else.

   “Ha-ha, really, I was alone.” He said with an affectionate smile, resting his chin on his hand, then his eyes lifted from the menu to look at me.

“And why did you come?”

“…”

Phii Hill didn’t answer, as if he was pondering something.

“I missed you, Ter.”

Huh!?

“Uh, what, missed what?”

“Really. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. Normally, if I don’t see you for even one day, I start feeling crazy.”

Oh my god!! This doctor’s crazy!! What are you saying? Not seeing me for one day drives you crazy? We used to see each other almost every day before, even on Saturdays, Arthit would sometimes sneak in to help out at my mom’s restaurant.

   So, he probably didn’t come to see Christy as I had thought.

   But he came to see me, didn’t he…

   Waaaahhh…Just thinking that it was because of me makes my heart flutter again, T^T. I thought he was there for Christy, but deep down, I still wanted him to come for me…I just wanted to see him, that’s all.

   “And why did you have to come to this café?” I’ve never been to this café before, I thought if he was thinking of me, why this place? It doesn’t seem related at all.

   “Ter, you like cocoa, right?”

“Yes.” I nodded in acknowledgment. I like fresh milk or green tea too, but cocoa is my favorite, so I order it every time I go to any café.

“Because I was thinking of you…but couldn’t meet you. So, I wanted to do something to ease the longing.”

“Like…finding a good dessert place like you always did, and once I found one, I wanted to take Ter there.”

“Phii Hill…” I inadvertently called out his name, my voice trembling for some reason.

“So…I went around tasting desserts at nearby places until I almost tried them all, and I thought this café was the best.”

“…”

“Even if there wasn’t a chance to meet…I still thought of silly things…” “Like…wanting to take Ter here, and then to all the places Ter wants to go.” Those sharp eyes softened slightly, but just a little, unlike my heart which was trembling and wavering.

“So…I gathered information about beautiful places and delicious cafés, hoping one day we might meet again.”

Sniff…I could sense the melancholy in his voice. I bit my lip to hold back some feelings that were threatening to overflow from somewhere unknown.

   That includes the places he took me for photos previously as well, I guess…That’s why he chose such a nice place for the photoshoot.

   This must be another side of Phii Hill…that I believe no one else has seen.    “I thought…I wouldn’t get to see you again…really.” His usually deep and gentle voice now softened, his expression showed he was afraid…afraid that what he said might come true, yet mixed with joy at seeing me here.

“But here we are, meeting.” I finally managed to squeeze out my words.    “Yes…” The tall figure gave a gentle smile as always.

“Thank you…for making it possible for us to meet.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 15: Our Past

   “This Hill is really Hill.”

Johan said it as if he was quite used to it. I was a bit taken aback by the phrase “whatever” from the person next to me. I thought Phii Hill would be more considerate, especially since Phii Thanmild has known him for so long, and she seemed to be quite affected.

The reason I thought Phii Hill was considerate is probably because he has always been attentive to me, my sister, my friends, and those around me.

He would be the Phii Hill who takes care of everything.

If Christy had told me to observe more closely, what I might notice is…that in reality, Phii Hill might not care about anyone at all.

Except for me.

So what, now my heart is starting to feel uneasy again, I feel a sudden warmth spread across my chest.

Sigh…

“Umm, before this, Hill didn’t really care. He just didn’t say anything, but now that he has spoken…”

“Thanmild probably thought that. You shouldn’t have said anything at all, it’s like stabbing me in the heart.”

I listened to the seniors talk about Phii Thanmild for a while. It seemed like not many were really concerned about her. A few might say they were worried, but not to the extent of rushing over to check on her. This was different from how other star members seemed to care a lot for their medical faculty star.

The more Phii Thanmild cried, the more attention she got, which probably led to some dislike towards Phii Hill as well.

Just like that senior said, I guess. Just by crying, you get everything? That’s what they call unfair.

“Ter, hey there! I’m here!” Foam’s voice from behind made me turn around quickly to look. Finally, Foam, Phoon, and Fah had arrived.

“Um…” They moved chairs to sit behind me, looking a bit tense because it was full of seniors. Hmm, it’s not just them. I’m also quite tense. Meanwhile, Tonfa went to sit near Johan and Arthit.

“Nong Ter…Are these your friends?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon respectfully greeted the seniors with a slight bow.

“Yes. I’m Foam, and this is Typhoon.”

“Hello, I’m Phii Meili, the one in charge of Nong Ter’s photography duties.”

“Oh, so you’re really here to take photos.” Foam raised an eyebrow and looked at the camera hanging around my neck.    “Really, why would I lie?”

“Wow. Not bad, why didn’t you invite Phoon too? He’s like a pro photographer.” Foam said.

“Oh, right, Phoon, you like photography, right?” Foam’s words reminded me that Typhoon indeed loves to take photos, even more seriously than I do, who only takes photos occasionally.

“Yeah, but I don’t take pictures of people.” Phoon said. I couldn’t tell why he looked so uninterested, almost annoyed for some reason.

“Oh, then what do you take photos of?” Phii Meili asked, “Is your name Nong

Phoon? Oh, how cute, and look, your cheeks are red, did you get sunburned?”    Phoon gave a shy smile after Phii Meili’s teasing. It seems like Phii Meili teases almost every guy.

“Wow, compliment me too, I’m feeling left out.” Foam said jokingly.

“Okay, okay, Nong Foam you are cute too.” Phii Meili said with a playful tone, reaching up to pinch Foam’s cheek lightly.

“I photograph the sky.” Typhoon replied.

“The sky? How do you do that?” Phii Meili asked, trying to picture it in her mind.

“Show her your Instagram, Phoon.” I suggested, remembering that Phoon’s Instagram was full of his sky pictures.

Typhoon then took out his phone and opened his Instagram for Phii Meili to see.

It was all sky photos, like the whole account was curated with shades of blue. Phoon’s sky for each day, the sunset, the sunrise, during the rain, during storms, clear skies, cloudy skies, and even the night sky dotted with stars and moonlight.

There were some photos that also captured the sea since Phoon’s house is near the beach, but even those were in a blue tone.

“Using the username ‘Sky Collector’, huh? Wow, these are beautiful. Why only the sky?” Phii Meili asked after scrolling through Phoon’s Instagram.

“It’s beautiful. I like the blue tones; if I take pictures of trees or other things, the colors clash. It’s not as pretty.”

“The captions are almost the same for every picture.”

“Hehe, just a little.” Phoon smiled shyly before taking his phone back from Phii Meili.

“You’re strange, you know? At least post some other kinds of photos on Instagram. One of my friends likes to take sky pictures too, but not every single photo is like yours.”

“That’s my thing.”

“But for the closing scene, they want the background to be the sky, I’m stressed. Can you help me take some photos?” I asked Phoon. If he could help, I’d feel much less worried.

“Probably not, I’m not good at taking pictures of people.”

“Come on, just help me out.”

“I can just watch, I won’t take any photos.”

“Yay, that’s still good.” I said happily. If it’s about capturing the sky as a backdrop, I trust Phoon.

I turned to talk quietly with Foam and Phoon, letting the senior stars continue their conversation. It seemed like no one really paid much attention to us, and Phii Hill didn’t say anything either.

But I didn’t turn to look, so I don’t know what he was doing at that moment.    “Um…excuse me, are you Phii Hill?” Foam asked, and the person in question turned to look at who was calling him.

“Yes?, that’s me. Do you know me?”

“A little, I often see you on the Cute Boy page.”

“Oh, I see.” Phii Hill smiled. He didn’t show any signs of annoyance. He seemed to be waiting for Foam to continue.

“Uh…I’m Foam, a friend of Ter.” Foam gave a slight dry smile, probably feeling a bit nervous, not knowing what else to say.

“Yes, nice to meet you.” His friendly demeanor helped ease the tension for the one who greeted first. Imagine if you greeted someone and they scowled at you, no one would like that.

“And you must be Nong Phoon, right?” Phii Hill asked, and Phoon jolted slightly.

“Oh…yes, that’s right. Nice to meet you.” Phoon seemed even more tense than Foam. I can understand, because Phii Hill comes off as somewhat hard to approach, which makes me feel tense too.    “Yes, did you guys get lost on your way here?”

“Wow, Nong Ter…” Suddenly, Phii Meili whispered in my ear, “Dr. Hill is talking to someone he just met. How is this possible? When we first met, he barely talked to me.”

“Um…it’s probably not that extreme.” I gave Phii Meili a forced smile. It’s probably not that bad, right?

“Exactly. Even if you tell Dr. Jo, he’d say the same thing.”

“Is that really true?” I made a face as if I didn’t quite believe it, but Phii Meili looked very confident.

“Yes, we got lost near the alley in front of the university, Phoon gave the wrong directions.”

“You’re the one who turned the wrong way, Foam.”

“You told me to turn left!”

“Right, into the science department alley.”

“That’s right, not left!”

“Oh…really…”

I sighed quietly to myself, I had already guessed that these two wouldn’t make it anywhere together in a car, but that doesn’t mean having me along would make it any better. Who can remember the way, anyway? I’m just glad I can remember the way back to my dorm.

“And did Fah come to pick you up?” I asked.

“Yes, Fah is great with directions. We were just guessing the way, not really remembering it, but Fa still got it right.” Foam said, “Oh, right, Phoon, we haven’t thanked Phii Tonfa yet.”    “Oh…yeah, we should.”    “It’s no big deal.”

“I think Fah was happy to do it.” Phii Hill added.

We all looked a bit confused by Phii Hill’s words for a moment. Before anyone could ask anything, Phii Napdao announced that it was time for rehearsal again.    “I’ll go first then, remember, no more sun exposure, understand?” Phii Hill emphasized what he had said before, making me frown slightly. He was talking to me like I was a child, but with his openly concerned look, I softened.

Fine, I won’t argue.

I gave a small nod to show I understood.

Once all the moon faculty members left, leaving just us, Phii Meili, and Johan’s group, a silence fell, and the way my two friends were looking at me made me feel uneasy.

“…”

“Uh…what? Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, perplexed.

“…” Foam and Phoon furrowed their brows, looking at each other, then turned back to me with an interrogative gaze, “What’s up with you?”

“Why me?” I started to sweat, guessing they were going to ask about Phii Hill, but I still didn’t dare to say anything first.

“What was that just now?”

“That tender look from earlier.”

“Plus, that concerned sentence.”

“What’s going on, Ter?”

“I sense something’s not normal here.”

“Something that suggests you’re more than just acquaintances.”

“Don’t keep secrets from your friends.”

“Spill it, Ter.”

“Spill it!”

“Oh, you guys…can’t you ask nicely?” I said to quell the two who seemed intent on extracting something from me, as if I wasn’t going to tell them anything. At this point, I was certainly going to tell them.

“You just won’t say anything.”

“You guys kept asking so rapidly I couldn’t even get a word in.”

“Okay, okay, then tell us. We’ll listen attentively. It’s fine, even if you’ve secretly gotten a girlfriend without telling us. Even though I’m hurt that you have secrets, we’re friends, I can handle it.”

“Foam, would you let me speak first? I’m about to say it.”

“Ha ha, just kidding, go ahead and tell us.”

“Um…it’s like.” I paused to organize my thoughts before recounting. I wasn’t sure where to start, “Phii Meili, could you help me out?” In the end, I sought help from Phii Meili.

Phii Meili sighed softly because she was also eager to hear what I had to say, but now she had to tell the story herself.

“You already know Dr. Hill, right?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon nodded in response, “You know the news, right? From the early posts with the hashtag ‘Dr. Pay-for-Play’, who is the owner of the watch?”

“Oh, I remember, it was all over my feed, everyone’s talking about it. Dr. Hill’s really an everywhere interest.” Phoon said. Foam wasn’t surprised because he always follows these kinds of news, but even Phoon, who usually doesn’t care much for gossip, was talking about it.

“And there’s the latest clip where he rejected Dr. Mild.”

“I saw it this morning, and my faculty friends were sharing it.” Foam added.    “Is it the same person, both the one who posted and the one who said they care more?” Phoon asked.

“Absolutely.” Phii Meili confirmed, “It’s the same person causing all this stir among the fans, the watch owner, and now Hill’s heart owner too.”

“Or could it be…” And then Foam and Phoon both turned to look at me with the same look.

“Holy crap!! That’s peak!!”

“Yeah, really peak.”

“You didn’t tell us!”

“How am I supposed to just go around telling people? Give me some time.” I said. It’s true, isn’t it? I can’t just go around telling everyone that I’m the one Phii Hill posted about, can I?

“Oh man, you, it’s you, my sister spent all day investigating, and it’s you!!” Foam said, holding his head, “Do you know, if they could check the DNA of the person in the photo, they would’ve done it by now. And all those senior friends, they’re super pissed, it’s exhausting just watching.”

“Your sister?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so what? My sister, she’s at this uni too. She’s just one of the fans. You broke her heart, I’m not talking to you now.”    “You’re funny, Foam, what did I do wrong?”

“Kidding, kidding. She loves you, forget about everyone else.”

“That phrase sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Phii Meili turned to tell me, “Forget everyone else, just give your heart to the doctor.”

“What kind of love are we talking about here?” I frowned to hide my embarrassment. Foam and Phoon burst out laughing at my reaction.

“Embarrassed, huh? Ter is embarrassed, hee hee, want me to take a picture for your doctor?” Foam said while making a playful face and pretending to raise his phone, but he actually took a photo.

“Wait, Foam, what are you taking pictures of?!”

“For your doctor, I might get paid ten baht per photo.”

“Dr. Hill probably pays a hundred per photo, for a good shot it could be five hundred.” Phii Meili said with a playful smile, lifting her chin. “That’s what you get with a paying doctor.”

“Really? Then I’m in, Ter, give me the camera.” Phoon was getting involved too? And Foam, are you seriously going to take pictures? Why play such heavy pranks?    “What’s with you guys, Phoon, don’t mess with my camera. Foam, if you’re taking photos like this, you could even snap a video of Jo.” I swatted Phoon’s hand away as he tried to snatch my camera and turned to snark at Foam.

“Really? Then I’ll just take a video of Jo, whoa, his face is turning red now.”

“Ter, let me borrow the camera for a bit.”

“Oh, you guys…” I raised my hand to my forehead, this is exactly why I didn’t want them to know!

“What are you guys playing at?” Johan’s voice cut through, making them stop teasing me immediately. Then, the three doctors moved closer to us since everyone else had left.

“We’re taking photos of Ter, we’ll give them to Dr. Hill.” Foam said, and I looked at him with a glare. The seniors laughed, finding it amusing.

“That’s good, if Hill is paying a hundred or two per photo. If we take ten photos tonight, we’ll have money for dinner.” Arthit said playfully.

“Even Phii Arthit?” I said weakly. Being ganged up on isn’t fun at all T^T.

“I got it now.” I turned towards Phoon’s voice, how did he manage to grab my camera? It was hanging around my neck! “You’re really easy to rob, sweet thief like me.”

“Don’t point out my weaknesses, what if Ter gets mobbed for his camera next time?”

“It’s okay.” Phoon said, “Dr. Hill will come to the rescue, hahaha.”

“You guys are crazy.” I muttered under my breath in annoyance, sticking out my tongue at them, “You’re taking advantage now, just don’t let it be your turn.”    “So, you’re going to take photos of Ter?” Foam asked Phoon. Great, now they’re going to take embarrassing photos of me with my own camera. What are they made of, really?

   “Let’s see.” Phoon raised the camera, getting ready to take a shot, and even Foam turned to watch. I just stood there making a face at the camera, “Your camera works well. Let me borrow it next time.”

“Sure, just don’t take pictures of me, go take your sky pictures.”

“Can you take a photo of Ter for Instagram?”

“No, it doesn’t fit the theme.”

“Next time, have Ter wear sky blue, so he doesn’t break the theme.”

“I’d have to be an avatar then.” I rolled my eyes at them. If I want to fit into Phoon’s Instagram feed, I’d have to go all out.

“Phoon took good pictures of you, though. They look better than the real you.

Would Dr. Hill buy this one, I wonder? It doesn’t even look like Ter.”

“Ugh, that’s enough from you two, give me back the camera.” I said, feeling a bit fed up with being teased. Sometimes you need a break, right? Foam and Phoon made slightly disappointed faces before reluctantly handing back the camera. I deleted the photo Phoon just took. It wasn’t that it was bad, but for some reason, I felt embarrassed, like I was forced into posing. Which, to be fair, I kind of was.

“Delete it from your phone too, Foam.”

“It’s on, I’ll pitch it to the doctor first.”

“Are you serious?” Phoon raised an eyebrow at his friend, “I thought you were just joking around with Ter.”

“Dead serious. If the doctor buys, I’ll take photos every day, could do with the cash.” Foam said, “Might even sneak some shots when you’re in the bathroom.”

“Creep.” I couldn’t help saying, even though I knew he was joking.

“By the way, are those friends of Phii Hill?” Foam whispered. I glanced over; it seemed like the seniors weren’t paying much attention to us, either chatting or playing with their phones. I nodded in acknowledgment, “Wow, they’re all hot, did they recruit based on looks or what? Right, Phoon?”

“Huh, oh, yeah.” Phoon replied mechanically, his gaze lingering on Tonfa for a moment before looking away.

It might be nothing, but I sensed something in Typhoon’s eyes when he looked at Tonfa. It was kind of like…when I used to secretly watch Phii Hill. Back when I had a one-sided crush on him.

But then again, maybe I was just imagining things.

“Phii Hill is really handsome, isn’t he? Never thought he’d actually go for you.” Foam couldn’t help but bring up the same topic again. I asked for a break from the teasing, “So why did he go for you, did you know him before?”

“Yeah, spill everything, man.” Phoon added. I looked around; Phii Meili was sitting closest, but she was now busy with her phone. The other seniors were as usual, not interested in us. So, I decided to tell them the whole story, which wasn’t much different from what I’d told North and Phii Meili.    “Oh, that’s how it is. What about your sister?” Foam asked.

“Christy said she’s come to terms with it. They’ve sorted things out.”

“No, no, your sister, does she have a boyfriend yet?”

“If my sister is going to date someone, it definitely won’t be you.” I said.    “Harsh.”

“Definitely, I’m protective.” How could I not be protective over my only sister? Honestly, I’m also worried about Christy having a boyfriend. She’s so cute, I’ve turned into someone who brags about his sister, but I’m absolutely going to keep Foam at arm’s length. He’s totally untrustworthy.

“So tomorrow, when the page comes for the interview, everyone at the university will know.”

“Hmm.” I paused, “I kind of don’t want them to know, actually.” I said. I’m a bit scared too, just the star club knowing about it already leads to some negative comments. I wonder what it’ll be like if everyone knows.

I say I won’t care, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can handle it. My confidence is wavering.

“Nong Ter, are you worried?” Phii Meili turned to ask, “I could tell Dr. Hill to cancel the interview. We can do it tomorrow instead.”

“Is that possible? The page was going to donate a lot of money.”

“Of course. If Dr. Hill says he won’t do it, who could stop him? Even Phii

Napdao wouldn’t dare force him, he doesn’t care about anyone, you’ve seen that.” Phii Meili said, “If Nong Ter just says he’s not okay with it, Dr. Hill won’t do it for anyone else.”

Hearing Phii Meili say that, I couldn’t help but smile without realizing it.

It feels good to know that someone cares about me.

“Dr. Hill is worried just like you, you know. Before this, he even came to ask me if he made the right decision to make his intentions clear to everyone.”    “I told him he did, because if it’s unclear, it would be a hundred times more painful.”

“When he asked, his eyes were so hesitant…even though Dr. Hill is usually incredibly self-confident.”

I was speechless at Phii Meili’s words. That was the time Phii Hill said he had asked Phii Meili for advice, after I was insulted by Phii Tun. It wasn’t just me who was hurt by that incident.

Phii Hill was also affected in the same way.

“No need to cancel, it’ll be fine.” I said. It should be fine…Phii Hill would probably make sure everything doesn’t get worse, but I’m not sure if I can watch the interview without my heart giving out. I might need to buy some smelling salts beforehand, sigh, stay strong, Ter.

“Love stinks.” Foam said, sticking out his tongue, “So, are you guys going to be a couple?”

“You’re asking too soon, aren’t you? What’s the rush?” Phoon said.

“And now Hill is this serious about it.”

“Give Ter some time, they’ve just started understanding each other. Both pairs have been through a lot of pain for a year now.”    Well, well, Phoon does know how to talk.

“And do you still have anything unresolved?”

“It’s just about him saying he’s liked me for five years. But I’ve only known Phii

Hill for a few years, and then…when we had to part ways.” I paused to think for a moment, “Phii Hill promised he would get in touch again.”

Yes…I remember. After that incident, we had to separate, Phii Hill promised to contact me, promised not to leave me behind, but days, weeks, months passed, and there was no sign of him. Then after another month, I decided to change all my contact details. By then, Phii Hill probably realized it was too late. Now, he’s trying to make amends.

   “I want to know…the reason he disappeared.”

I just want to know the reason, that’s all. There might have been a misunderstanding, it’s okay. Just let time prove everything on its own.

   “You want to know. Why don’t you just ask?” Foam said, “He’ll tell you anyway, won’t he?”

“Wait a minute. I haven’t had the chance to ask yet.” I retorted to Foam. Oh man, why does Foam seem so irritating today?

Rrrrrrrrr

“Pim is calling again.” Johan raised his phone. Me and Phii Meili turned to look, seeing an unsaved number calling, “What should we do?” Johan turned to ask me.    I pointed to myself with a puzzled look, why would someone named Pim call and they’re asking me?

“Yes?”

“Should I answer?”

“Uh…” I looked at Phii Meili as if seeking her opinion. Foam and Phoon still didn’t know the context, and Phii Meili made an ambiguous face, leaving it up to me. The call from someone named Pim must certainly be about Phii Thanmild. I was a bit worried about Phii Thanmild’s threats to harm herself. So, I might as well answer to check on her condition.

“Yes…you can answer.”

Johan answered and put it on speaker for everyone to hear. I listened intently.

“Hello, Jo, is Hill with you?”    “He’s not here.”

“Oh, not taking a break yet?”

“He’s already had his break. We’ve started rehearsal again.”

“Did you tell Hill about Mild?”

“I told him.”

“What did Hill say? Is he coming to check on her?”

“Uh…” Phii Johan hesitated slightly, looking at me for guidance. I shook my head slightly, indicating I didn’t know, but Phii Meili whispered to just tell her.

“Hill probably won’t come.”

“Uh…why not?”

“Come on, let me talk to her directly.” Phii Meili seemed to have had enough.

She snatched the phone from Phii Johan and started speaking, “What’s up, Pim?”

“Who’s this?”

“It’s Meili.”

“Meili, oh…what about Jo?”

“I’ll talk to you, Jo doesn’t really want to chat.” Phii Johan looked a bit baffled after Phii Meili told the other side that he didn’t want to talk.

“Why doesn’t he want to talk?”

“Maybe he’s just lazy…doesn’t want to talk to someone he doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean by not knowing? I used to date Jo.”

“Oh, really…Does Dr. Jo know he dated you, Pim?” That comment made Phii Johan’s jaw drop slightly, not expecting Phii Meili to be so blunt.

“…Uh, well, forget it then, why hasn’t Hill come to check on Mild? She hasn’t gotten any better, I called half an hour ago, right? Why is he taking so long? What if something happens to Mild?” After that sentence from the person on the other end of the line, Phii Meili rolled her eyes upwards several times before letting out a soft sigh.

“Then can I ask, why does the doctor need to go check on another doctor?”    “Well…aren’t they flirting? Then when that freshman came in, Hill changed completely.”

Huh! Flirting, are they?

“Men change their minds quickly like this, and Jo is no different.”    “Why are you bringing me into this?” Phii Johan whispered irritably to Phii Tonfa.

“Calm down, Jo.” Phii Tonfa tried to soothe the agitated one.

“Mild said she understands, but she feels it’s unfair. She’s tried so hard, but then this freshman comes in and doesn’t have to do anything, and Hill only cares about the freshie without caring about Mild at all. I just want Hill to come and check on Mild, that’s all.”

“Hmm, did Mild really say that?” Phii Meili asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

“Yes.”

“Can I talk to Mild for a moment?”

“Um…I don’t know, Mild, can you? Meili wants to talk.”

The voice on the other end asked, and we could still hear Phii Thanmild sobbing softly through the phone, “Mild said she needs some time.”

“Okay, I’m not siding with anyone here, but I want you to calm down and listen first. One, Dr. Hill and Dr. Mild are not flirting or dating. Two, Dr. Hill didn’t change after meeting the freshman kid, he was always like this. Three…the freshman didn’t come after Mild, it’s the other way around.”

“Right, Dr. Hill said five years, right?” Phii Meili turned to whisper to me. I nodded in response. That’s what Phii Hill said.

“That’s not true!” Phii Thanmild’s voice interjected loudly, causing us all to jump slightly since the speaker was on, “Nong Ter met Hill when he was in his sixth year of high school. But I’ve known Hill since my fourth year of high school, Nong Ter came two years after me, that’s why I say it’s not fair. I’ve been trying to get close to Hill for so long. Then suddenly this Ter comes out of nowhere, huff, where did he come from? To take everything so easily, sob, scream!”    “Mild, calm down, don’t shout, take a deep breath, calm down, Sweetie, help support her, oh, it’s okay now.”

The scream from the other end of the line made everyone stunned, including me.

Phii Thanmild must have lost control of her emotions.

“No.” I decided to take the phone from Phii Meili’s hand and spoke, part of me was hesitant, but another part felt compelled to speak out.

“Phii Mild, it was me who came first.”

“Uh…what did you say? Hic.”

“…”

“Phii Hill said…”

“…”

“Phii Hill said loves me.”

“…”

“It’s been that way for five years now.”

“Sob, no, it’s not true. It’s not true! You’re lying, you said you never knew Hill before, you’re lying, hic, sob.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Sob, and then Ter left Hill, leaving him to suffer alone! Do you even know that! And now, when things get better, you come back to take Hill away again, that’s too cruel. Sob.”

“Left him?” I echoed Phii Thanmild’s words, puzzled, “Phii Hill was the one who left me.”

“Hmph. You don’t know anything, do you? Hic, and you still have the nerve to say you like Hill!”

“What…what are you talking about?” I tried to recall, wondering if what Phii Thanmild was saying was related to what Phii Hill would tell me, but why did it not feel like it was?

“Stupid! You met Hill’s grandfather, didn’t you? Can’t you even figure that out? How could Hill fall for someone so stupid!!” Phii Thanmild’s voice shifted from sobbing to full-blown anger. However, I wasn’t too concerned with her insult. I was more interested in what she had said.

   Phii Hill’s grandfather…

   Yes, I met him.

   And when we met…it wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.

   “But…Phii Hill said it was all sorted out. And his grandfather even sent me an apology gift.” At that time, Phii Hill’s grandfather had misunderstood, thinking I was after Phii Hill for money, but Phii Hill said they had cleared up the misunderstanding. His grandfather even sent a large package of sweets as an apology.

“Ha, you naive kid!!”

And then she hung up, leaving everyone confused. I was even more baffled. What did Phii Hill’s grandfather have to do with all this? He seemed to have apologized, right? Or was there more to it?

Before I could let my thoughts run wild, Phii Meili gently patted my shoulder to bring me back.

“Are you okay, Nong Ter?”

“No, Phii Meili.” my voice began to tremble. My heart was now entirely shaken, feeling as if it was becoming vulnerable, “I don’t understand what Phii Mild told Phii Hill’s grandfather. I mean, he seemed to understand before, didn’t he? Is there something Phii Hill hasn’t told me? And why hasn’t he told me anything? If it’s that big of a deal, why don’t I have the right to know?”

“If it’s about grandfather…you could still talk before, right?”

Because I’ve met Phii Hill’s grandfather since we first got to know each other…if there was an issue, why wasn’t I told before we had problems? I started to think in circles, with Phii Thanmild’s words, our story, everything was starting to blend together. I was confused to the point where I couldn’t grasp anything.

“Ter.” Phii Meili said with a gentle tone to comfort me, “I don’t know what happened…but what could be the reason for a man to bear all the pain alone?”

“If it’s not…”

“…”

“To protect…the one he loves the most.”

And with those words from Phii Meili, a phrase that Hill once told me resurfaced in my mind.

“I’ll try my best.”

   “Huh…try what?”

   “Well, with the problems that will arise from now on.”

   If that’s the same problem…are you planning to fight this battle alone again?    “That’s…not fair to you, isn’t it?” I whispered to myself, trying to suppress some overwhelming emotions.

   Right now…I really hate myself.

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 14: The Only Thing You Care

   “Hill!!!” Phii Johan’s voice boomed across the parking lot calling for Phii Hill. Fortunately, there was no one else around, so we didn’t become the center of attention again. Honestly, I think Phii Johan looks even more handsome in person than in photos. I’m not sure if his messy hair and untucked shirt were because he was in a rush or if that’s just his style.

He looks handsome in a different way from Phii Hill.

Phii Johan, along with the other two, hurried over here. I guess the other two might be Tonfa and Arthit that were mentioned.

“Man, Jo was driving so fast, almost ran a few red lights.” one of them said.

“But we didn’t actually run any.”

“So, where’s this person you were talking about?”

“That’s why I had to ask Hill. When they called, I could hardly believe it. Did you really announce on stage that he’s yours? That’s an angle I never thought you’d take.” Johan said excitedly, causing Phii Hill to chuckle slightly, “Who is it?

Introduce your friend.”

Uh…I’m starting to feel out of place here.

   While I was watching to see if Phii Hill would reveal it or not, he glanced over here, implying that it was me.

   Oh gosh, he’s just going to say it outright again? Doesn’t Phii Hill feel embarrassed at all?

   “Really!?” Phii Johan exclaimed, his voice stretched long with a shocked expression. Tonfa and Arthit looked just as stunned.

Gasp, is it really okay to tell your friends?

And what if they don’t accept it like Phii Tun…?

“He’s cute.”    ?

Huh…!?

“Initially, I was really wondering what kind of person you were wooing. I even discussed with Fah and Arthit that if the person wasn’t up to par, we’d have to hold you back. But you’ve got good taste.” Phii Johan lightly patted Phii Hill on the shoulder.

This is another time I’ve received compliments from the older guys…

   So, all I could do was give a shy smile, raising my hand to scratch my cheek out of awkwardness.

   “But isn’t Hill supposed to be wooing a freshman? Why are you guys here together?”

“Oh…I was waiting for my friends.” I replied.

“So Hill just smoothly stayed with him, I thought it was weird, why would he come to wait for us. Ah, now I get it.”

“Then, why don’t you introduce yourself? I still don’t know you, I’m Johan, by the way, is this the one who complimented me over the phone that day?” Johan asked about that day when I was with Phii Hill at the restaurant and ended up praising Johan.

Phii Hill nodded in affirmation.

“I thought it was someone else, wow, so you’re only wooing this one, then.” The teasing from the friends started again. Oh man, can we take a break from this teasing? I’ve just been through a lot of it already!

   “My name is Tonfa, nice to meet you.” Tonfa smiled politely. This one seems more like Phii Hill in demeanor. He looks kind and gentle, but somehow, you can just tell he’s suited to be a doctor. If I had to guess, he’d fit perfectly into studying medicine, unlike Phii Hill who…tends to look more stern and sharp.

“My name is Arthit.” Arthit is slightly taller than Phii Hill, with an athletic build, the kind they call ruggedly handsome.    “And you, freshman?”

“Uh, I’m Easter, but you can just call me Ter.” I introduced myself, but for some reason, they didn’t respond right away, making me wonder if I missed something,

“I study in the Veterinary Faculty, first year.”

“Veterinary is close to our faculty. We’ll see each other often then, especially since first-years have labs in the medical building.” Phii Tonfa said. Do I have to go to the medical building for classes too? T^T    “Are you all…studying medicine?”

“Yes. Though Jo and Arthit here aren’t exactly the typical medical student type.” Tonfa said with a chuckle.

Then the voice of Phii Napdao called for everyone to regroup, why so soon? She said it would be fifteen minutes, right? Foam and Phoon still hadn’t shown up, probably lost, no doubt about it. When those two go anywhere together, they argue about directions all the time; Foam drives without paying attention, looking at girls or dogs, while Phoon gives confusing directions.

   Yeah…they probably took a detour around the mountain once or twice before arriving here.

   “Every time I hear Phii Napdao’s voice, I get goosebumps.”

“Why? Oh, because Tonfa is the vice moon, right? Then why aren’t you in the fashion show?”

“They only wanted the moon stars to participate and not runner up. That’s fine, I’m too lazy anyway.”

“Nong Ter, are you waiting for your friends? I can wait with you.” Phii Hill asked me.

“Uh…no, it’s fine, you guys can go ahead.” I said, feeling hesitant, making them wait for Foam and Phoon might take another year.

“Such polite language, unbelievable, our friend Hill has changed, I can’t handle it.” Phii Johan made a face like he was about to cry and covered his mouth turning to Phii Arthit.

“When he used to flirt with girls, we couldn’t handle it either.” Phii Arthit said.

“So what should we do? We can wait with you, you know.” Phii Tonfa offered.

“No, I’ll wait alone. You guys go ahead.” Phii Hill said.

“Wow, Hill, your friends came looking for you, and now I had to leave little Nené behind, just to pick up Tonfa and Arthit to find you.”

“Why the rush, I was reading and you threw the book away, buy me a round tonight. By tomorrow, if Hill really declared it on stage, it’ll be all over social media.” Phii Tonfa complained slightly while letting out a soft sigh.

“I’ll buy you a whole crate.”

“What the heck would I do with a whole crate? So, what’s the plan, Hill? You’re from the medical faculty, aren’t you supposed to lead the way? If not, Phii Napdao might have another outburst.”

“It’s fine, I’ll wait with Nong Ter first.” Phii Hill said. Why is he so insistent on staying with me? He could have gone ahead.

“Uh…then I guess we don’t need to wait anymore, it might take a while.” I said. Otherwise, this might never end. Foam and Phoon wouldn’t show up easily, and if Phii Hill is late, Phii Napdao would be even more upset about the fight earlier.

“Alright then, let’s go.” Phii Johan said, and we, four to five of us, started walking back to the star and moon group. I just listened quietly to the seniors talking while Phii Hill walked beside me, even when I walked slowly and the others went ahead. Phii Hill slowed down to keep pace with me.

Oh my, why does it feel so warm like this? My heart…T^T

“But Hill is still wooing Nong Ter, why do we tease like they’re already a couple?” Phii Johan asked.

“We just tease, it’s a blessing to see Hill woo someone, but we don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Nong Ter.” Phii Tonfa turned to tell me. I just smiled back, indicating it was okay.    I’m not uncomfortable, really…

“I’m leaving my friend’s heart in your consideration, Nong Ter. Even if you don’t like him, at least pity him. It doesn’t look like he’s someone who falls in love easily.” Arthit said. That sentence made me inadvertently glance at the person beside me.

“Five years.”

   “The answer to the previous question…it’s been five years now.”    When they said Phii Hill doesn’t fall in love easily…

   Well…he’s liked me…for five years now.

   Gasp!

   Thump! Thump!

   Every time I think about it, my heart races!

   And when he looks back, once again, I find myself avoiding those eyes.

   But thinking about it, it’s still strange. Yes…I told him that I actually met Phii Hill when I was in high school, about two years ago, which means I’ve only liked him for two years, but Phii Hill said it’s been five years. That means…Phii Hill has liked me since I was in middle school, huh? That’s really young, what could make a third-year high school student like a second-year middle school student for so long that he keeps liking them even as he progresses to his second year of university?    And the important thing is, in my second year of middle school, what could I remember? Even after thinking about it over and over, I can’t remember ever meeting him.

   When we returned to the activity courtyard, Phii Napdao announced for everyone to line up again. Phii Meili looked a bit worried but relaxed when she saw me, which made me smile involuntarily.

Phii Meili must really care about me.

I truly appreciated it.

“How are you, Nong Ter? You okay?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” I gave a broad smile to the person who rushed over to check on me. I’ve never expected anyone to look after me, because I’ve always thought I could handle everything on my own, but when someone does look after you,

It’s a feeling of happiness that’s hard to describe.

And it makes you want to look after them in return.

Not just Phii Meili.

Everyone.

Yes.

Including Phii Hill…

“Is Phii Meili okay? About…um, Phii Tun.” I paused for a moment, referring to when Phii Meili had slapped Phii Tun. I was worried that Phii Napdao might say something about it. Phii Hill had already been warned.

“I got scolded a little, but it’s fine. Actually, he’s not a bad person, really. He probably just said those things out of anger without thinking. Don’t take it too seriously, I think he didn’t really mean what he said.” Phii Meili said to reassure me. I nodded and smiled in acknowledgment. Even if Phii Tun meant what he said, it’s okay.

People have a million different thoughts.

And we can’t care about everyone’s opinions.

I will try not to clutter my mind with it anymore.

“Then I’ll go first.” Phii Hill said after Phii Napdao announced it again because everyone seemed tired and unwilling to go to rehearsal. I nodded in acknowledgment, and Phii Hill left without another word.

“Permission granted, I guess.” Phii Johan teased, and Phii Hill gave a slight smirk before heading towards the stage.

“So, what’s up with you guys, Meili?” Phii Tonfa asked, probably referring to the conversation I had with Phii Meili earlier.

“It’s about Tun, remember?” Everyone nodded, indicating they remembered, “He said some things that were quite off-putting. After Hill declared he was interested in Nong Ter, Tun just kept on with his not-so-nice comments about gays.” Phii Meili explained briefly, avoiding the more offensive words.

“Oh, that guy has never really thought before he speaks.” Arthit said as if this was typical for Phii Tun.

“That’s bad, huh? So, what happened?”

“Hill gave him a punch. I can’t believe it, Hill’s got a heavy hand too, Tun might have had his jaw broken, oh, that’s an exaggeration, haha.”    “Wow, Hill’s really been doing some shocking things lately.”

“I can’t imagine it, him being so calm usually.”

If I hadn’t seen it myself, I probably wouldn’t believe it either.

“Don’t daydream, stay focused.” a voice from the stage called out, snapping me back to focusing on the photo shoot. Phii Meili didn’t forget to remind me when to take the photos, and I felt like we were going to take a lot of pictures today. From the individual shots since morning, we’ve taken countless, not to mention if any turned out good.

Rrrrrrrr

My phone vibrated in my pocket, but I was busy taking photos, my hands weren’t free.

“Phii Meili, could you please answer my phone?” I asked her for help, suspecting it was those two guys, probably done with their detour.

“My hands are dirty with sweets, ugh. It wouldn’t be appropriate, let’s ask Dr. Jo for help.” Phii Meili then asked Johan instead.

“No way, Hill would kill me. We just sorted things out last time.”

So, it turned into a game of hot potato, with no one wanting to answer my phone.    “Ton, can you help?” Johan then passed the request to Tonfa. Hmm, why are they passing it around like this?

“Don’t want to. What’s wrong with you guys?” Tonfa sighed slightly before reaching into my pocket for the phone, “You guys better behave, Hill’s watching, he might scold me for being too touchy with the junior.”    Wait, what the heck is this, –

   “He’s probably gone backstage.” Johan said.

“He might have seen, Hill might have put a tiny camera on the freshman.”

“Not that crazy like you, Tit, excuse me, Nong Ter.” said Phii Tonfah as he took my phone from my pocket and accepted the call.

Sigh, everyone talks as if Phii Hill is some kind of criminal mastermind.

Well…he might actually be.

“Hello.” Phii Tonfah spoke into the phone. I turned back to focusing on my photography to not miss anything, but eavesdropping seems to be a skill I was born with, even though my eyes were on the camera, my ears were tuned into their phone conversation.

“You can put it on speaker, Fah, I’ll talk.” I said before Phii Tonfah pressed the speaker button. All I could hear was the sound of the wind, probably because they were still riding, “Phoon, where are you now?”

“Ter, help, we’re lost. Foam has gone past the university entrance, he said he’d take a detour, but we ended up in some random alleyway.” Phoon’s voice was somewhat muffled by the wind, but I could catch the gist.

“Come on, you idiot, which alley are you in?” I asked. I’m not really familiar with the area myself.

“What alley? Hey, Foam, should we stop the bike and turn on the GPS?”

“No. Just trust me, Phoon.”

And there it goes…they’re arguing again.

“Nong Ter, take the shot now, you’re missing the moment.” Phii Meili reminded me, because I had lowered my camera to talk to Phoon. Oh, how chaotic, they haven’t even arrived yet and they’re already causing trouble.    “Alright, I can’t turn on the GPS, your internet is out, Foam.”

“My phone isn’t ringing.”

“Oh, great.” I said, exasperated, what’s with these two?

“Give me directions, I’ll go pick you up.” Tonfa offered, which made me pause for a second, such a kind soul, really. I guessed right.

“Uh…who’s this?” Phoon asked through the phone, sounding confused, since it was my phone, he must be puzzled about who’s speaking.

“This is Tonfa.”

“…” The line went silent, leaving us to listen to the sound of the wind for a moment before Phoon spoke again, “Are you Ter’s senior?”

“We just know each other.”

“And where’s Ter?”

“Nong Ter is busy right now. Should I come pick you up? You can tell me how to get there.” Phii Tonfa said, contemplating the distance for a while before responding.

“Yes, I’ll come to pick you up then.”

“Thank you, Phii Fah.” I said in appreciation, even though we’d just met, Phii Tonfa was very kind. He agreed to pick up my two friends. Indeed, picking them up would be better than just giving directions since they don’t know the way. It’s easier to guide them with turns on the way there and then follow back.

“Okay, Jo, lend me your car.”

“Should I go instead?”

“It’s fine.”

“Why?”

“You probably don’t have that much kindness in you. Don’t go if you’re just going to complain when you get back.” Phii Tonfa retorted, causing Phii Arthit and Phii Meili to burst into laughter.

“Haha, true, let our kind-hearted Dr. Fah go. Drive safely.” Phii  Arthit said, and then Tonfa walked off, borrowing my phone as well.

“He’s really kind, isn’t he?” I said to Phii Meili while photographing the stars and moons on stage.

“Yeah, well, Hill seems kind too, but, you know, appearances can be deceiving.”

Phii Meili remarked, though I didn’t quite understand what she meant. Isn’t Phii Hill genuinely kind?

I didn’t respond, as the stage music kept looping along with Phii Dao’s voice, both criticizing and praising, quite harshly, I might add. Phii Napdao was tough; it made me not want to volunteer for the moon position. If anyone was off-beat or not to her liking, she’d make them start over.

And importantly, I still felt a bit flustered as a photographer when Phii Hill walked out to the front of the stage.

Oh…I’ve said it before,

No matter what, I always fall for that look in his eyes, T^T

“You’re squeezing the camera too hard, the lens is going to break, doctor.” Phii Meili teased after seeing the photos I took of Phii Hill, “Last time, he didn’t even look at the camera with another photographer.”

“Nong Ter, can I ask secretly how you met each other?” Phiii Johan asked me.    “We’re waiting for the page’s interview tomorrow, then you’ll know. We don’t disclose information to outsiders.”

“It might be too late for that, but wait for what the page says then.”    Rrrrrrrrrrr

The sound of a phone?

Phii Johan picked it up and answered.

“Hello?”

(Jo, it’s Pim.)

   “Pim…Oh, uh, what’s up?” Johan’s voice hesitated a little, as if he couldn’t quite remember her.

(You don’t remember, do you? Never mind, where are you?)

   “At the star club event, in the activity courtyard.”

(Are you with Hill?)

   “No, Hill is at rehearsal.”

(Oh, can I talk to Hill then? Could you go ask the stars?)

   “Why don’t you call Hill yourself?”

(I don’t have Hill’s number.)

   “Probably won’t happen, so what’s up? I’ll tell him when he takes a break.”    (It’s about Mild. She’s been crying since she got back to the dorm. I’m her friend. I heard there was some drama at the pageant. I guessed it might be related to Hill. Could you help? Mild hasn’t stopped crying.)

   “And what does that have to do with Hill?” Phii Johan started to sound slightly irritated.

(I saw the clip, where Hill said there’s someone else he cares about more.)    “There you go. That’s why I asked what it has to do with Hill.” The voice on the other end became even more annoyed, and Phii Johan, who seems playful, sometimes gets easily irritated too.

(Hill made Mild cry, at least he should apologize. Mild almost hurt herself, thank goodness there were many friends to stop her)    Huh? Am I hearing this correctly?

   Phii Thanmild tried to harm herself!?

   “Sigh. I really don’t like women who are always seeking attention.”    Oh my, Phii Johan is being too straightforward. Phii Hill is direct, but this is blunt.

(Huh? What’s that?)

   “I’ll tell him later.”

(Thanks, and Lin says the person Hill likes is a photographer there, right?)    Hmm? He means me? Uh…I’ve got a bad feeling about this. This Lin must be someone here. Otherwise, they wouldn’t know about this.

   “Uh…” Phii Johan hesitated, glancing at me for a moment. I made a confused face in return, deciding to take a break from taking photos, “Ah, yes, why do you ask?”

(Hey, I am not saying anything against the freshman, but…if that freshman wants to talk to Hill, it’s fine, just let Mild come to terms with it first, okay?

She’s in a bad state.)

   Wait, what does that mean?

I have to wait for Phii Thanmild to come to terms with what?

(But…hic, sob, it’s better not to talk to Hill at all, hic, sob, can you let Hill go, please? It took him so long to get better, I tried so hard, why come back now!!

Why come back!! Sob)

   This voice…it’s Phii Thanmild.

The sound of sobbing mixed with shouting indicated she had lost control. Me and Phii Meili exchanged bewildered looks. What Phii Thanmild said made no sense to me.

Why come back…?

(Mild, Mild, calm down first. It’s alright. We’re here for you, Mild. Sorry,

Jo, we’ll hang up now. Don’t forget to tell Hill to check on Mild, okay?)    And with that, the call ended amidst everyone’s surprise, except for Phii Arthit, who seemed completely uninterested, shaking his head in disgust after listening.

“What’s her deal? I didn’t think Mild could be this bad.” Phii Meili said, “Many from the faculty’s stars are on her side. Look, Lin is already spreading the news. Just by crying, she earns sympathy points?”

“Then Nong Ter, you should cry a little.” said Phii Meili teasingly.    “I’d need some time for that, Phii Meili, how can I just start crying out of nowhere?” I replied with a chuckle.

“If you cry, it would really shake things up, Dr. Hill would definitely be overwhelmed.”

“People are strange, really, I don’t like it at all, Arthit. When girls demand attention, cry or even threaten self-harm, what’s worse is that their friends always take their side without question.” PhiiJohan said with exasperation.

“You’ve experienced that, Jo.” Phii Arthit mentioned, “Remember that time at the club?”

“Yeah, it was so embarrassing, she was yelling at me loudly, the whole club was watching, and it wasn’t just her yelling, she brought her friends along to join in, even though we had agreed that I wasn’t exclusive.”    “Ha ha ha, serve you right, so what happened in the end?”

“She scratched my face with her nails, I went home and told my aunt it was a cat scratch, damn, but when I gave her ten thousand, she went completely silent.”    Hmm…Phii Johan isn’t to be underestimated. I can’t help but laugh imagining him getting his face scratched.

“So, in the case of Thanmild, if we give her money, do you think she’ll quiet down?” Phii Meili asked.

“We could try, tell Hill, this one might need a hundred thousand.”

“I doubt it, she doesn’t seem like she’s after money. I really don’t understand her.” Phii Meili sighed. We turned our attention back to the stage where the rehearsal was ongoing. Phii Meili said there was no need to take photos now, nothing much was happening at this time, and she asked me to rest and wait for the final shot, which would conclude my work as a photographer for the day.

But I might have to become the unofficial photographer again, as Phii Meili said she would nominate me for more gigs, considering it as extra work.

Just a moment ago, Phoon called to say they were almost here. That’s a small relief. Not long after, Phii Napdao announced a break, complimenting that the rehearsal walk had improved significantly, and it wouldn’t take as long as initially thought.

Phii Hill walked over with other star club members, sitting down in the rest area where Johan and Arthit were seated, so others naturally followed suit. Phii Hill sat down next to me, which naturally drew teasing comments from the senior stars.    “Wow, he won’t let anybody sit next to the junior, looks like Meili will have to move.” one of the seniors remarked, since Phii Meili was sitting on the other side of me.

“Except for me, I suppose.” Phii Meili said with a laugh.

I secretly glanced at the person sitting next to me, who returned a smile as always. Sigh, why does everyone have to sit here? When there’s too much teasing, it’s hard to know how to react.

And then I found myself moving closer to Phii Meili without realizing it.

It’s just…embarrassing…somehow.

“Is it hot? I told you not to stay in the sun too long.” Phii Hill asked while gently patting my head. I had to dodge slightly because I was afraid of more teasing.

“It’s not hot.” I replied, and as expected, the fear of being teased…well, it was too late again.

“Aww, so sweet. We were walking in the sun too, Hill.”

“Our friend actually cares about others, huh?”

“He only cares about one person, I bet.”

I gave a dry smile to the seniors who were teasing, but Phii Hill seemed uninterested.

“Hey, Hill, there’s trouble. Just now, someone named Pim, I think, called and said Mild was crying a lot.” Johan informed, causing the others to turn their attention, “She even threatened to harm herself.”

“Ugh…that’s over the top.”

“But it’s concerning, you know. If something happens, you’ll be in trouble, Hill.”    “Wait, but I think Hill isn’t at fault here. He can’t be responsible for everyone who likes him, right?”

“I know, but it might escalate into a big issue.”

“I’ve been there, man. My ex once threatened to kill herself, it was quite stressful.”

“And what did you do?”

“You have to talk things out slowly. Some women are quite sensitive.”

“Yeah, and now she says the freshie  should not talk to Hill yet, wait for Mild to come to terms with it.” Johan added.

“Can people who cry demand whatever they want?”

“That’s what they call unfair, think about others a bit.”

“Your friend, calm down, you’re getting too heated on behalf of Hill.” one of the seniors tried to calm another who seemed very involved, “So, what will you do, Hill? Ah…but we already know the answer without asking.”

“…”

“Whatever.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 13: That Day

   As soon as that sentence ended, it seemed to ignite all the chaos in the competition crew.

   Including…my heart.

   Just a moment ago, I felt like it was going to explode completely…

   Oh my god, that crazy brother, that crazy doctor, who told you to say something like that in front of so many people, oh my goodness!!

   My heart, my heart, oh my god, my heart can’t take it anymore, oh, T^T

   It felt like I had been splashed with cold water and my circuits were shorting out. I reached out with my cold, trembling hand to grab Phii Meili’s hand again to keep from falling, even though my hand had no strength left.

   “[Scream], oh my, doctor, you can’t do this, my heart is so faint.” Phii Meili pulled my arm into a hug and acted all shy, “Nong Ter, I’m melting, I can’t handle this.”

I’m the one who’s melting, help me, my legs are all weak!! T^T

   “Doctor, [scream], how can someone be this straightforward, oh my.” Phii Napdao said with a loud, screeching voice. Despite that, she couldn’t stop the teasing.

I was surrounded by Phii Mot and almost all the staff below the stage, not unlike Phii Hill who was surrounded by stars, moons, and satellites from all departments in this chaotic competition scene.

“Nong Ter, why didn’t you tell me, oh my. I can’t believe it, we’re this close, and

I thought you were out of reach.” Phii Mot said while gently tapping my shoulder, and before I realized it, all the seniors were teasing me big time.

“Hey, let me see. Is this the junior everyone’s talking about? Oh my, he’s so cute,

I’ll just give him to Dr. Hill.”

“Is it this freshman that Dr. Hill said he cares more about than Mild? Wow, even the medical star has to step back now.”

“Freshie, let me pinch your cheeks a bit. You’re so adorable, the camera loves you, [sigh].”

“It’s a blessing for my eyes to see the person Dr. Hill likes. I can’t believe I’m seeing this in this lifetime.”

I could only give a dry smile to the staff who were mostly friends of Phii Mot, teasing each other. Honestly, every word they said made me embarrassed too, oh my, how did it come to this?

   “Did the doctor suddenly say that because he doesn’t want others to bother the freshie?” Phii Mot asked Phii Meili.

“Probably, right? He was trying to keep the attention away, but looked at us. Our satellite divas are really something. Dr. Hill, will you die before you ever date Nong Ter?” I turned to where Phii Meili was looking, feeling a bit embarrassed at the mention of ‘dating Nong Ter’, not sure how she said it, sigh.

The friends of Phii Hill were still teasing each other, but the real chaos came from the satellite divas rushing from backstage, surrounding Phii Hill with screams, making him cover his ears.

“[Scream!] Doctor! You can’t do this to me, Doctor, why, what’s wrong with me, why don’t you choose that one?”

“Rada, step back now, don’t touch my Dr. Hill.”

“You back off, stop it, Pound, did you just sneakily hold the doctor’s hand?” “Who’s your doctor? Dr. Hill belongs to everyone! Wait, no, he just revealed his heart’s owner, so the divas have to back off now.”

“I won’t back off, I’ll fight, please, doctor, give me another chance.”

“My friend the doctor is overwhelmed, stars, please help calm them down, Dr.

Hill can’t take it anymore.” one of the senior stars could hardly contain her laughter. Even so, Phii Hill just smiled, not showing any signs of anger.

“Divas! Girls, that’s enough, I know you’re shocked, but it’s not just you, soon the whole faculty will be shocked.” Phii Napdao said before turning the siren function back on to stop the chaos, and the satellite divas finally stopped pulling at Phii Hill.    It seems like the one really overwhelmed isn’t him, but his own kind, with their beautiful outfits from this morning, styled hair, and wigs that took hours to set, all messed up from pulling at each other, and then Phii Hill had to straighten his uniform again.

   Should I feel sorry or not…

   Nah, no way.

   Feel sorry for yourself first, Ter!! T^T

   “Wait, let’s clear this up first. Doctor Hill, you have declared your interest in

Nong Ter, right? Where’s Nong Ter? Oh, there he is, hiding his head behind Meili.

Meili, you’re really blocking him out.”

“Mean mother, he’s just smaller.” Phii Meili said in a huff before pulling me to the front, oh my, Phii Meili, don’t do this.

“But they haven’t started dating yet, I understand that correctly, right? And what’s this about thieving cats?” asked Phii Napdao.

“It’s Jijo and Junior, who were flirting with Nong Ter, like Meili mentioned before.” explained one of the moon team members, pointing towards Phii Jijo and Phii Junior.

“Really? I thought Meili was just joking. So, what do you say, Jijo, Junior, let’s clear this up. Was what Meili said true?” Phii Junior didn’t respond, just smiled slightly and gave a small nod.

“Wow, what’s this? Hill, you’re blocking others’ chances, yet you said if you’re not officially dating, you can’t block others, right?” Phii Jijo spoke up, but she didn’t seem angry, just teasing.

“Oh, is this a battle over the boy, Jijo? How bold of you to challenge Doctor Hill.

You never learn from your flirtatious ways.” said Phii Napdao.

“Yes, Phii Dao. We’ve warned him. Give it up, we’ll drown our sorrows in liquor later.”

“Why are there only people from his team? What about my team? Junior, what do you say? Are you giving up?” Phii Jijo seemed to start rallying her allies, turning towards Phii Junior who stood not too far away.

“I’ll pass. I’m not in the mood to fight Hill. It would be a wasted effort. Just look at Nong Ter, he’s already lost in his own world.” Phii Junior said, looking over at me.

And Phii Hill, who sent a sweet smile my way.

   With that unreadable look in his eyes, as always.

   Gasp!

   What’s with that look!

   “Junior has already backed out, so you should drop this, what do you say, Jijo?”

“He has no right to block others if they’re not dating.” argued Phii Jijo.    Uh…this seems to be getting out of hand.

“Then how about letting Nong Ter say something?” suggested by Phii Napdao. That made me shake my head immediately. Are you crazy? With so many people around, where would I find the courage to speak?

“The freshman can’t handle it anymore, Phii Dao, my hands are shaking, I’m about to explode. So, let’s just leave it at that for now. Doctor has claimed the freshie, but if anyone wants to flirt or get involved, go ahead because they’re not dating yet. Jijo, isn’t that right? It’s chaotic enough right now.”

“Wow, that’s an easy cut-off, isn’t it, Meili?”

“Yep. Why bother arguing with Jijo? She’s nonsensical, and you just asked to flirt. When it comes to dating, I’ll make it grand for you.”

“Actually, I really want to ask more and scream, but tomorrow, the Cute Boy page is interviewing the doctor. Let’s just wait a bit. Those of us who know, don’t tell anyone yet, wait for the page’s interview to finish, then our fan club will get a lot of donations from the page. They say the donation goal is almost reaching ten thousand.”

“But you’ve got to hand it to the doctor for making such a public declaration. It shows how serious he is. Nong Ter, you should consider Dr. Hill, but honestly, there’s no need to think too much. He’s handsome, rich, has a good personality, and is smart. Plus, he’s genuinely in love. A perfect guy like Dr. Hill isn’t easy to find.

Where can you buy a man like him? I’m ready to pay.”

“Let’s take a break for now. Why am I so tired after just one rehearsal? Must be from all the screaming.” Phii Napdao said as she walked off the stage, followed by others. “Remember, don’t spread this news yet. If anyone recorded it, keep it to yourselves. I’ll find and slap anyone who posts it. Let’s wait until tomorrow, or we’ll miss out on the money from the Cute Boy page.”

Many staff members returned to their posts and served water as part of their duties. Meanwhile, I was dragged by Phii Meili to the seating area for a rest. Phew, good, I could use a little time out.

“Hey Nong Ter, do you want some smelling salts?” Phii Meili handed me some. I took it and thanked her quietly, “Dr. Hill is like, let’s not even talk about him. It’s good that Thanmild isn’t here. Otherwise, there would definitely be a scene.”

“…A scene, really?”

“Well, maybe. So, what are we going to do? The doctor has made his intentions very clear.”

“Yes, but we haven’t seen each other for nearly a year, and we’ve only just met again a few days ago.”

“Hmm. Even though you’ve known each other for a long time, you’ve only recently started to understand each other. No need to rush. I believe the doctor can wait.”

“He says he can wait, but then he makes such a big public announcement. He’s really crazy.” I muttered, lowering my voice at the end of the sentence.    “Well…who wouldn’t want to claim their prize like that, right?”

“Phii Meili…please stop teasing for a moment, let me rest.” I said, slightly pouting.

“Oh, so cute, I’ll stop teasing for a bit.”

“Hey everyone, listen up.” Phii Napdao’s voice rang out again, making me and Phii Meili turn towards the source of the sound immediately, “We’ll create a little buzz, even if not the whole university knows, but we’ll make them curious by working together. We’ll use the hashtag #RealDoctorMrHill on social media.”    “Wow, we’re going all out with the hashtag? Just the issue of who owns the watch has already filled Twitter.” Phii Meili grumbled while picking up a glass of sweet water handed out by the staff, drinking it as she heard the moon team teasing and questioning Phii Hill from a distance. I didn’t dare look, so I just sat with my back turned, continuing to sniff the smelling salts.    “Hill, I just saw Fern crying as she walked off the stage.”

“Really?” That must have been Phii Hill’s reply.

Phii Fern…?

   “Wow. You really don’t care about anyone else, do you, just care about Nong

Ter, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy cow, our friend is the real deal. We really should start using that hashtag like Phii Dao said.”

“This has to reach Johan’s ears, let Johan close his pub to celebrate us tonight.”

“Hey, but our friend Hill isn’t free tonight, right? Doesn’t he have to take care of someone important?”

“Yeah, try inviting Nong Ter too. We’d like to get to know him.”

“No.”

“Are you jealous? With friends and all. We won’t hit on Nong Ter, you can trust us.”

“I’m not taking him to a bar.”

“But you could take him to a fancy restaurant. If it’s about spending money, I’d rather buy him a drink, it’s much cheaper.”

“Hill, I’m calling Johan and his gang now, Johan’s bringing Fah and Arthit too.” Hmm? …Johan is coming too? And those other two are Phii Hill’s friends, right?

   “You guys are making this into a big deal.” said Phii Hill.

“It is a big deal, man. Johan was in bed with some girls, but he said he’s hurrying over to see who you’re trying to woo. He left the girl confused in the room, and by the sound of it, he’s in a big rush, betting he’s flooring the gas pedal.”

Oh my god, why are more people coming? T^T

Rrrrrrrrrr

When my phone vibrated, I was slightly startled because I was focusing on eavesdropping. I pulled out my phone from my pocket to check it.

There was an incoming call from ‘Phoon’.

I answered it.

“What’s up?”

(Where are you?)

   “Near the club, why?”

(Me and Foam came to your dorm looking for you. Your roommate North said you weren’t there. We’re bored and had nothing to do, so we thought we’d come find you. Now, I’m riding on Foam’s bike near the university. Can we come to the club?)

   Shit! Should I tell them their timing is perfect or not?

   On one hand, I didn’t want them to come because if they did, they’d definitely find out what’s going on, but on the other, having friends around would make me feel more at ease.

   But I couldn’t tell them not to come. They’ve already come this far on their bikes.

   Sigh, whatever, I guess I can’t hide anything anymore.

   “Yeah, yeah, you can come in. I’m at the activity courtyard where the stars are practicing for the fashion show.”

(Oh. You’re at the activity courtyard? Okay, Foam, Ter is at the activity courtyard. Turn the other way. What are you doing there anyway?)

   “I’m…taking photos.”

“Are your friends coming?” After I hung up, Phii Meili spoke up, her mouth full of snacks. I nodded in affirmation, “Once your friends get here, everyone will know.”

“I guess it can’t be kept a secret anymore.” I said truthfully.

“True, do you want some snacks? They handed out a lot earlier. Not sure why they spent so much budget money on snacks.” Phii Meili complained slightly before handing me a small packet of snacks. The staff holding bags full of snacks were still walking around distributing them. It seemed like the star club had an enormous snack budget compared to the packed lunches.

“You’re really not taking the junior with you? I think Jo would want to come along. He might even close his club for three days and nights.” The gossip from the senior stars wasn’t stopping. Even though I didn’t turn to look, from what I heard, Phii Hill must have been a bit annoyed with his friends.

“Don’t just talk about bedding the freshman, would Hill join too?”

“What, for good news like this, we should celebrate a bit, right?”

“If you just want to drink, just say so. We’re in if someone’s treating.”

“If Johan wants to foot the bill, let’s go, Hill, this is your chance, man. Once we start drinking, the mood takes over, you might not even need to woo him, just take him upstairs and screw his brain out.”    Hold on a second…

   I don’t know who said that last sentence,    But isn’t that going a bit too far?

   “What are you afraid of at your level? No need to woo and waste time and money. If it were you fucking them, no woman would get mad. They might even be happy.”

With women, huh?

   Does that mean I, as a man, should be even happier?

   Hey…

   I’m starting to not really like Jo or what the seniors are saying.

   Even if it’s just in jest,

   Should they really say stuff like that?

   And it’s just making me think back to that day.

   “Shut your mouth already.” I heard Phii Hill say, but even so, I didn’t want to listen anymore; I’d rather go wait for Foam and Phoon.

I stood up amidst Phii Meili’s confusion, and it seemed like Phii Hill was about to say something more, but then Phii Meili stood up and slammed the table, startling me.

Bang!!

“Dog’s mouth! How does wooing Nong Ter waste time? Are you Dr. Hill, to say such things? How do you know he wouldn’t be angry? Are you looking down on us?” Phii Meili said loudly, clearly furious. I turned to see the moon team members who were sitting not far away looking completely shocked.

“Meili, calm down. We were just joking around.”

“Joking? Is that funny? Is saying ‘take them upstairs’ something to be said!?”

“What, Meili? We’re just joking around, no need to take it so seriously, right? But it’s true, isn’t it? Any girl would fall for Hill, and now that he’s gay, shouldn’t we be even happier?” It seemed like there was only one senior from the Moons Stars club talking like this, and from the voice I heard, the offensive words came from that person alone.

“Tun, you animal! You’re such an asshole, let me teach you a lesson.” Phii Meili seemed genuinely furious to the point where she couldn’t control herself anymore.

She looked like she was about to go confront this guy named Tun.

“Phii Meili, calm down.” Although I was angry, having a fight in the middle of the star club event wasn’t a good idea. Phii Hill hadn’t done anything yet…

Thud!!!

Phii Hill delivered a solid punch right into Tun’s face, making him stumble back. Amid the gasps from everyone around, including mine and Phii Meili’s, who were equally shocked.

“Hey, what the hell, Hill!!” Tun wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, spat on the floor, and stood up, shouting angrily at Phii Hill.

“I should be asking what the hell you’re doing.” Phii Hill replied. Not with a loud shout, but with his usual calm and cool tone.

Phii Hill wasn’t one to yell.

   He wasn’t the type to shout loudly at anyone.

   He was good at controlling his emotions.

   And I…

   I had never seen Phii Hill use physical force to solve a problem even once.    “Hey, hey, calm down. Hold Tun back!” someone shouted, and Phii Jijo, who was nearby, quickly stepped in to restrain Tun who was about to retaliate.    “Why are you stopping me! I’m going to hit back, what the hell is this about, coming out of nowhere and punching me! Let me go!” Tun shouted like a madman, but for some reason, Phii Hill, who was standing there with a calm face yet his eyes burning with anger, seemed much more intimidating.

“You’re in the wrong here, Tun, and you still have the nerve to try and hit Hill back.” Phii Jijo said while holding Tun back.

“What did I do wrong! He’s the one who’s wrong, he hit me first. Why are you siding with him, Jijo? Just because you lost Hill to him, you’re willing to be his underling now?”

“You piece of shit, you want another punch?”

“What, Jijo, are you getting angry because you lost? Just because of one gay guy, you all are swarming around, even Nie is the same, makes my skin crawl. You know that, right?” Then Tun turned to look at me, “With these types, just sleep with them, give them money, and they’ll be satisfied!”    Huff!

With that sentence, it looked like Phii Hill’s heavy fist was about to hit that dog’s mouth again.    However,

Smack!!

Phii Meili!

Phii Meili, who was just standing next to me, had somehow walked over to Phii Tun, and her hand swung hard across the face of the speaker, making his head turn.

“That’s enough, Tun. I know you’re angry, but some things shouldn’t be said.

Apologize to Nong Ter right now.” Phii Meili turned and gave me a small nod, indicating for me to go over. So, I walked towards them reluctantly.    Phii Hill moved closer to me, reaching out to gently squeeze my hand, his expression showing the utmost concern.

“…” Phii Hill didn’t say anything before letting go. There was no need for many words, but I think I understood Phii Hill’s feelings.

   He felt guilty…

   “What’s happening? What’s all the noise?” Phii Napdao approached. She was visibly shocked, covering her mouth when she saw the scene, “What, did you guys fight?”

“Yes, Mae, Tun was being a dog’s mouth.” Phii Meili explained.

“Hill punched me, Phii!” Phii Tun still shouted loudly as if he couldn’t control his emotions, before trying to shake off Phii Jijo again, which drew everyone’s attention.

“Oh, I said no using force. Otherwise, you’ll be removed from your star and moon position. What’s the story here?” Then Phii Meili recounted everything truthfully. Phii Napdao furrowed her brows, asking everyone if it was true, then told Phii Jijo she could let Phii Tun go.

“Come here, Tun.” Phii Napdao said sternly, “If this is true, Hill was wrong for using force, but the real fault lies with you, Tun. Learn to watch your words, that’s the worst. Apologize to Nong Ter.”

I looked towards Phii Tun hesitantly. He grimaced before grinding out an apology.

“Hmm, good. This time, we’ll let it go, but really, fighting can lead to severe punishment. You could be removed from your moon position. But I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything this time, just a warning. Don’t let it happen again, understand?”

“Yes.” Phii Hill agreed easily.

“…Yes.” Phii Tun seemed to accept as well.

“This kind of attitude won’t do, Tun. I’ll call you in for a talk later. We need to discuss this with the competition committee, this behavior is unacceptable for someone of your position.” Phii Napdao scolded, and Phii Tun nodded, admitting his fault.

“Alright, disperse. Tun, go see the medical team to get your wound treated before you go. We’ll resume rehearsal in fifteen minutes, go on, don’t crowd around.” With Phii Napdao’s directive, the situation seemed to come to an end. Everyone started to disperse, including Phii Tun, who was still visibly struggling to manage his emotions as he walked away.

Without anyone saying anything further, I decided to slip away with the others. I wanted to deal with my own negative feelings first. It’s not like I wasn’t affected; being insulted like that naturally made me feel bad.

I’d rather go somewhere to calm my mind.

I walked out to the parking lot, hoping to wait there for Foam and Phoon.

Sigh…

I slumped down onto a seat under a tree, staring blankly at the dozens of parked cars. I don’t smoke, so there was nothing to help distract from the discomfort in my heart, all I could do was sigh, hoping it would lessen the gloom inside.

“Absolutely disgusting.”

   “Do you know that?”

   “Guys like these, just sleep with them and leave.”

   “Give them money, and they’re satisfied.”

   The words laced with contempt from Phii Tun…somehow echoed back into my mind.

Why does just one thoughtless comment from someone…pierce so deeply into my heart?

Or perhaps…

   Is it wrong…to love someone,

   When I’ve never asked for anything like that,    And never wanted a single penny?

   “How much compensation do you want, in exchange for not meddling in my grandson’s life anymore!!”

   The old, gray-toned memories returned amidst the emptiness in my mind once again. The image of my father in anger, Christy crying, the pained faces of the person I love, the image of brokeness, and the image of Phii Hill’s face full of tears.

   The words, so cold yet full of authority, from the tall man in a gray coat. His dark hair styled with sophistication, his face marked by the passage of time.

   His left hand reached into his wallet.

   Before slapping down a thick wad of gray banknotes on me with force, causing the bills to flutter everywhere.

   Yes…

   That day.

   The day Phii Hill graduated.

   And it marked the end of everything between us.

   “Nong Ter.”    Hic!

The soft, deep voice from behind startled me out of my crazy thoughts, and I turned to find Phii Hill sitting down next to me.

“Sorry.” His deep voice carried a gentle tone.

“I didn’t say anything.” I tried to keep my voice as normal as possible, “I should be the one thanking you for stopping it.”

“Just now, Meili…said, it’s good that everything is clear now.” Phii Hill said with a faint smile, “Because ambiguity hurts a thousand times more.”

“But after seeing Tun act like that…I’m not sure if my clarity was the right thing.”    Phii Hill is worried if his clarity was the right choice.

   And I, on the other hand, am worried if my own feelings are correct.

   Ha.

   I must be going crazy…

   “But anyway, it’s already happened.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Ha…Do your best at what?”

“With the problems that will come up after this.” and Phii Hill once again showed a gentle smile, the sadness in his beautiful eyes gradually fading.

“What kind of problems? Do you mean like with Phii Tun?” I asked.

“Partly, but I’m sure there will be even bigger problems coming up soon, I think.” Phii Hill said with a slight raise of his eyebrow, not seeming too troubled at all.

“And what about the effort you mentioned?”

“I just don’t want you to be troubled, that’s why. So, please bear with it a bit longer, okay?” he said while ruffling my hair gently as if I were a child. I frowned slightly, showing my displeasure before brushing his hand away.    “Don’t treat me like a kid all the time. You never tell me anything.”

“I’ll tell you when you become my boyfriend.”

“Are you asking me to punch you?” I said with a stern face.

“Not really, but if you want to know badly, you could just…become my

‘boyfriend’.” Phii Hill said with a playful smile.

!!!

   What kind of person is he?

   He’s so damn infuriating!!!

   Before I could say anything more, I heard the sound of a car speeding into the parking lot. Soon, the screeching of tires was loud enough to hurt my ears. Finally, a luxurious red sports car came to a halt, and three men got out in a hurry.

   “Hey Hilllllll!!”

If I remember correctly,    That’s Johan…

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter  12: Eye to Eye

   I was dragged by Phii Meili to the front of the stage and told to get the camera ready, then left standing alone after she said, “Nong Ter, wait here for a moment,

I’ll go ask over there how they plan to proceed.”

The background music played in a soft, slow rhythm.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed standing alone in front of the stage area, I found a seat nearby and started to watch everyone lining up for the rehearsal. Phii Napdao was explaining the details of who should walk after whom since not everyone was present today; apart from Phii Thanmild who had just left, there were still some people skipping rehearsal. Phii Napdao decided they would walk individually for now, without pairing up as Moon and Star of the Faculty.

This gave me some time to think about what Christy said…about asking who Phii Hill likes, and before that, when Phii Hill mentioned he had liked me for five years. Maybe I haven’t been very observant as Christy suggested, but there have been times when I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise.

Because maybe I’ve been too scared as Phii Meili pointed out, but at least…on that day, he could have said something. Not just disappear after the incident. I understood he might not have been able to come to me, because even if he came to my house then, he wouldn’t have found me…but I waited for a message from him the whole week, and there were no responses to my calls, so finally, I closed my Facebook account and changed my phone number.

Who wouldn’t think they’ve been abandoned in that situation…

Next time, if there’s an opportunity to ask…that day’s events would be my question.

I just want him to explain why he suddenly disappeared.

And after that…just tell me he loves me again, that would be enough.

Because I have to heal the wounds you’ve left for nearly a year…and the ironic part is that one year feels almost meaningless. Every time I look at you, my broken heart still…

It’s not something that can be controlled, even if it’s your own heart.

Sigh…

I let out a big sigh, why does it feel like there’s smoke filling my chest?    “Oh…just give me a moment, just a second. I’d like to introduce the junior who will be taking photos today. Oh, where has our junior, Nong Ter, gone?” Phii Meili’s voice boomed from the speakers. I turned around to see her standing on the stage with a microphone in hand. She soon looked my way, signaling for me to come quickly, “Come here, come here, up on stage.”

I jogged up onto the stage at Phii Meili’s urging. Even though I was nervous, letting her keep calling my name would make it worse.

“Ah, do you see him? Everyone around the stage, pay attention. This is NongEaster, or Nong Ter, our emergency photographer for today, but might become our permanent photographer. He’s quite good, just so you know. I am introducing him in case we work together again. Now, for those who came to flirt with him…there’s Junior and Jijo Jo, from Engineering and Law respectively.” Phii Meili paused, the audience started to murmur at the last part. I caught Phii Junior giving a wry smile to those looking over.

“And one more person who wishes to remain unnamed…that person wants to say, stop flirting with Nong Ter, I’m warning everyone, he’s practically someone’s husband now. Junior, you can’t compete, and Jijo, don’t bother, that’s it, conversation over.” Phii Meili pulled me in to link arms with her, her voice softening at the end, leaving me to just give a sheepish smile to the onlookers.

Why does Phii Meili seem so moody and unpredictable?

“Oh, Meili, how could you do that?” Jijo complained as we stepped off the stage.    “What? That’s why I said no flirting. It’s annoying to see everyone trying to take him. Let’s just say he’s mine now, end of story.”

“Is Junior trying to flirt with Nong Ter too?” Jijo Jo raised her eyebrows in question.

“He asked for my Line, pretending to invite me to take photos, ha. Not subtle at all.”

“Does the junior need someone to take photos with? Are you looking for models?” Jijo asked me, and I nodded in response, “Then great, I can be your model. I guarantee lots of likes.”

“Sorry, the freshman already has a regular model to pose for him.” Phii Meili pointed towards Phii Hill, who was standing not too far, though he seemed not to be looking our way as he was talking with Phii Napdao, “That one, he’ll get more likes and shares than you could ever, Jijo.”

“How could Hill be a model for the freshman? He doesn’t usually like having his photo taken.”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care about you Jijo Jo, I’m tired.” Phii Meili waved it off before pulling my hand to walk away in another direction.

“So, what do I have to do to get your attention, Meili?”

That statement made both me and Phii Meili turn abruptly. It sounded like Phii Jijo was lamenting something.

Phii Meili didn’t respond, just gave a quick pout in the direction of the voice.    “Hey. They briefed us that for the first part, we should take individual shots, make them perfect. Then in the middle, they’ll start walking in pairs, which might be tricky to capture. I’ll tell you more about that later. For the finale, they want wide-angle shots, really wide, capturing the sunset. “

“Wow…then I’ll go to the front of the college to take the shots.”

“Around five or six in the evening, when the sun is setting, Nong Ter, go find a wide angle to shoot from. I’ll tell everyone to gather, imagine the background with the sun setting, and our stars and moon lined up in front. Oh my, it’s going to be majestic.”

“I’ve never photographed the sunrise or sunset before.” I expressed my concern. “It’s not hard, just focus on our stars and moon first, or you can focus on Dr. Hill, he’ll be leading.”

“Don’t tease, others might hear.”

“No worries, lovers can’t hide from the world forever.” I was about to retort, but

Phii Meili put her finger to her lips, “Shh, it’s about to start.”

The initially slow-paced music sped up a bit but didn’t turn into dance music; it was just enough to make you want to sway gently.

“Okay, first time, like yesterday, but wait, Dr. Hill wasn’t here yesterday, so let’s start over. Camera guy, don’t start shooting yet, I want the first round to be perfect.” Phii Napdao’s high-pitched voice echoed through the loudspeaker, which was almost as loud as the main speakers, “Dr. Hill, you walk out first, listen to the beat.”

Phii Hill, in his neat student uniform, his handsome face without any makeup, his clean white student shirt, not like the one I had stained with snot before, walked out from behind the curtain, perfectly in sync with the music.

How can someone make walking look so cool?

I don’t even want to think about what I would look like walking on that stage…    “Perfect, absolutely perfect, the timing of your steps is spot on, you got it after just one briefing, excellent, Doctor. Now, turn left for a pose. Here, the host will announce your name. Next, Thanmild, oh, she’s already gone? Alright, next person, come out, Dental Faculty Star.”

After Phii Napdao’s voice had faded for a while, no one came out, causing Phii Hill to glance back with a look of surprise.

“Oh, why isn’t anyone coming out? The next cue is for Dental Faculty Star, Nik.” Phii Napdao called again, “Nik, dear, why aren’t you here? Where have you gone?”

“Dao, Nikky isn’t coming.” a staff member shouted from below the stage.

“Oh, why? No one told me. Did she dare to skip?”

“No, Nikky has moved universities.”

“…” Everyone seemed stunned for a moment, “Well, I didn’t know. Oh dear, my

Nikky. Alright, next is Bass, Political Science Moon, come on the beat, dear.”    “On the beat, and for those next in line, follow the sequence. Let me tell you something, next time, choose your stars and moons wisely. Don’t just go for the most handsome or beautiful, choose someone who will stay with the department for a long time. The Dental Department doesn’t have a moon anymore, you know.”    “Look at Doctor Hill there, we didn’t choose him just because he’s handsome or capable, but because we thought he’d stay long, and indeed, he has. Four points to our medical folks, they’re the most dangerous, I heard Sky from the third-year medical moon has also left.”

“I was just kidding, Doctor Hill, we chose you because you’re handsome, purely handsome.” Phii Napdao started to banter through the loudspeaker, teasing one person after another. It seemed like she was no longer very concerned with the rehearsal march, just letting everyone walk to the beat.

“Oh no, girl, Fondao, walking like that, your heels will break before anything, step lightly, I’ve told you so many times.”

“Jijo, you haven’t even started taking photos, you don’t need to look at the camera that much, are you looking at the camera or the junior?” Phii Napdao’s words made me look towards Phii Jijo, feeling like she was indeed looking at me, “Stop being so annoying, Jijo, you might get your eyes popped out.”    But for some reason, I didn’t feel embarrassed or shy.

The song ended, and the first walk might have had many mistakes, but Phii Napdao didn’t seem too serious about it. She then ordered the music to be played again for another rehearsal walk.

“Mister freshman slash photographer, start shooting this time, it’s okay if it’s not perfect. If anyone makes a funny face, we’ll post it on the Cute Boy Cute Girl page.

DJ, play the music.” The DJ was none other than Phii Mot, who was sitting with her chin in her hand, looking bored by the audio equipment. It seems many of the staff had already left early, leaving the rest to work harder.

And Phii Mot looked like she had to do everything.

I bet there are a million complaints waiting to be vented right now.

“The Faculty of Medicine’s Moon, Dr. Hill, everyone [scream]!” Phii Napdao’s shrill voice came through the loudspeaker again, accompanied by her own scream. I started to raise my camera to shoot, focusing on the person who had just walked out from backstage.

The tall figure moved naturally, not at all stiff, probably because his physique was suited for modeling. Dr. Hill himself looked at the camera without breaking his gaze, giving a slight smile as if he was ready for every shot.

“Dr. Hill, look at the camera, not your lover, why the sweet eyes? Who’s making you look like you’re about to fall in love over here? There are ants on the stage, oh my.” Phii Meili teased in jest. “Whenever it comes to the doctor, there’s always something to gossip about. Let’s wait for the ‘mom’ from the page to come interview him.”

Why does everyone have to tease…His gaze wasn’t that much anyway.

“Look around you a bit, okay?”

I tried to observe Phii Hill as much as I could, as my senior suggested…His hairstyle was the same as when he styled it in the morning, quite different from his high school days. Back then, just having a slightly tall hairstyle was considered very cool, but once he got to university, he had more freedom to choose his hairstyle, which made him look even better.

Because he’s very tall, even though other moons are nearly as tall, Phii Hill still stood out. And sometimes, he had this habit of keeping a straight face which made people hesitant to approach him. Despite that, Phii Hill has never been rude to anyone.

And his eyes…Every time he looked, they always had this warm gaze. Many times, those eyes seemed to draw me in.

That kind of gaze was what made my heart flutter every time.

“Wait, wait, stop the music, stop…what are you two doing? You can’t just stare at each other like that, camera guy, camera guy.”

“Yes…ma’am.” I quickly turned to the voice calling.

“Why aren’t you taking photos? Why are you just staring at Dr. Hill?”

Huh? Me, staring at Phii Hill? How? I was just taking pictures a moment ago. Oh no, I’m sorry, T^T. And why did Phii Napdao stop the music? The silence just made the atmosphere worse.

   Oh my, I’m dead.

   Everyone’s looking this way now, boo-hoo.

   “The same goes for you, doctor, why aren’t you walking? Why play a staring game? Look, everyone’s lost the beat now.” Phii Napdao’s voice started to scold.    But it seemed like her scolding had no effect on him at all, as he then gave a gentle smile.

“The photographer…is so cute, I can’t take my eyes off him.”

As soon as Doctor Hill finished his sentence, everyone, including me, was struck speechless.

A silence enveloped the activity area as Phii Napdao’s voice quieted, and even the chattering crowd around us fell silent. The staff members further away, though not fully aware of what was happening, noticed the unusual quietness and turned their attention towards us.

   Everyone turned to look in our direction simultaneously, their eyes fixed on the tall figure standing prominently on the stage, who was staring at me without looking away. Soon, a buzz of excitement rose like a swarm of bees, the stars and moons waiting backstage rushed out to surround Phii Hill as if a miracle had just occurred.

   Yes…it truly was a miracle!

   With the ghost, that is!

   Oh my god, Phii!! …What have you done!

   I was completely flustered, not knowing what to do. Phii Meili started shaking my arm, probably embarrassed for me, my body went rigid like it did back in elementary school when the teacher called me to the front of the class.

   Please…someone…help me!

   “Everyone, please remain calm…calm down, stop crowding around Doctor Hill. Regain your composure, everyone. Even though what just happened was as significant as a meteor hitting our university.” Phii Napdao announced, trying to quiet everyone down. The shrieks from the girls, the staff, and the stars and moons all asking what had happened continued to grow louder, despite her efforts.    Phii Napdao then activated the siren function on the loudspeaker to quell the chaos.

“All staff, return to your positions, calm down. Everyone on stage, stop crowding the doctor, or he’ll faint from all the questions. No need to interrogate him.” Phii Napdao said firmly, and the stars and moons began to back away from Phii Hill slightly after their earlier rush to ask questions.

“Wow. I didn’t even have time to react. True love can shut out the world for a moment.” Phii Meili said, playfully covering her mouth.

I didn’t know how to respond; I could only give a slight frown and place my cold hand on Phii Meili’s arm.

“Ouch! You scared me. Just one flirt from the doctor and your hand is as cold as a corpse?”

“How are you feeling, Doctor, after that…scene? Were you overwhelmed by the flock of chicks?” Phii Napdao asked teasingly, and Doctor Hill gave a polite smile while adjusting his shirt that had been pulled by his peers.

“Wow, you guys…did you see the shot just now with our friend? He’s got guts, so is this the one you’ve been courting?”

“Hill is the real deal, I’m embarrassed for the kid, man.”

“Got to hand it to him, daring to pick up the freshman in front of everyone, with all his friends watching.”

“Hey, is this the freshman that Nea and Jijo were after? The one Meili mentioned? Hill’s really making moves, huh? What’s up, Nea, Jijo, are you going to fight for him?”

“What are you talking about? There’s no way I can’t compete, Nong Ter, right? I can’t take my eyes off you either.”

“You’re not looking at Jijo, you’re in a damn mess. Step back, let’s let Hill’s friend walk.”

“This morning was peak enough. Now, this is even more peak, he’s officially introduced him, and all our mystery-solving almost killed us, for what?”    “Well, you’re all quiet now, Hill, embarrassed? So, is it this freshman?”    The friends from the Faculty of Medicine were all asking and teasing Phii Hill loudly, but when this question came up, everyone quieted down, probably waiting for Phii Hill’s answer. I found myself holding my breath without realizing it.    “Yes.”    !!!!

“Yessss, our friend’s here, let’s celebrate, which bar tonight? You’re paying, right? We’ll call and reserve now, call Jo, Sky, and Arthit too.”

“Wait, we’re just teasing each other. Look at the freshman, is he mad?” Gasp!!

And then everyone on the stage turned to look at me again. No, I’m not mad, but you guys are making me feel out of place, could you stop staring, it’s so pressuring.

I moved closer to Phii Meili, hoping for some help.

“Phii…Phii Meili…help me.” I whispered softly while avoiding the gaze of several pairs of eyes from the stage. Phii Meili gently patted my head in a comforting manner.

“Calm down. You guys are wild, making so much noise over everything. Let Phii Napdao ask him questions, Phii Napdao is getting angry and her blood pressure is rising. Staff, get some blood pressure medicine for her.”

“Yeah, good idea, blood pressure medicine is good, spit! Meili, I’ll come down and slap you soon, alright. So, doctor, is this the one, the owner of the watch?”    Phii Hill didn’t respond. Instead, he let out a small chuckle.

“Let me just say….I won’t say.’ Did I say that fast enough?”

“Not fast enough, now that it’s come to this, tell us.”

“Well…” Phii Hill hesitated for a moment and then turned his gaze back to me, “It depends on the junior whether…he likes it or not.” And with that, the crowd erupted into screams and teasing from the other moons.

“Oh my god, be quiet, girls, it’s up to the junior, right? So, junior, what do you say? What’s your name, junior…what is it, Meili?”

“Nong Ter, khrap.”

“Nong Ter…what do you say? Do you like it?” Phii Napdao asked me, causing all eyes to pressurize me again. I swallowed hard, only managing to give a weak smile, oh my, if I could, I’d hide inside Phii Meili.

Sigh, Doctor, you crazy senior, what are you doing, T^T

“Uh…I don’t know.” I said quietly, still hiding behind Phii Meili.

I thought you said it would be clear but didn’t expect it to be this clear, sigh.

“Huh? What did Meili’s junior say?”

“He said he doesn’t know.” Phii Meili answered for me.

“So, what’s going on, haven’t you guys started dating?” Phii Napdao asked, slightly surprised.

“Not yet…” Phii Hill replied, “I’m still pursuing him.” And as expected, the crowd buzzed with excitement once more before the star told everyone to quiet down.

“Pursuing? Someone like Doctor Hill has to pursue? Goodness, will I ever get a husband this lifetime?” Phii Napdao said, rolling her eyes, “But this is the junior you posted about, right?”

Phii Hill didn’t say anything more…but that was enough for everyone to understand.

“Why didn’t you say anything when we asked before? Now you suddenly want to tell me? What’s the deal?”

Phii Hill was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful before he looked at me with a serious expression.

“Actually…”

“…”

“…I’ve been waiting for a long time.”

“…”

“So from now on.”

“…”

“I won’t let you go anywhere again.”

!!!!!

“And then…”

“…”

“So that some thieving cats would know…”

“…”

“Nong Ter…”

“…”

“Is mine alone.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter  11: Christmas

   “If that’s the case…can I ask for your LINE ID too?”    Phii Hill…?

   The tall figure stood up from his seat, amidst the bewildered looks of the secondyear moon group. Phii Hill walked around the table to stand beside Phii Jijo, right in front of me and Phii Meili.

   “What’s with you, Hill? How could you do this?” Phii Jijo asked, mixed with surprise.    “Why not?”

“Well, I asked for his Line first. You can’t just cut in like this, man.”

“Why can’t I?” Phii Hill said calmly, though his eyes still showed a trace of anger he was trying to hold back, “Are you his boyfriend or something? Why would you have the right to cut others off?”

Phii Hill’s words seemed to reiterate what Phii Jijo had just said.

If you’re not his boyfriend…you don’t have the right to cut others off.

“Wow, what’s this? Don’t you already have someone you like?” Phii Jijo started to protest slightly.

“Don’t you already have someone to chat with?” Phii Hill retorted, which made Phii Jijo start to frown, but neither seemed truly angry; it was more like friends playfully arguing over something trivial.

“Alright, alright, both of you stop it. Medical Moon and Law Moon, it’s time to go practice the walk. C’mon, let’s go, it’s almost time.” Phii Meili tried to intervene, clearly annoyed at having to listen to this pointless argument. “Everyone, let’s move, or Phii Napdao will get mad and we’ll be late again. We might end up practicing until ten tonight, you never know.” she concluded. Her words prompted the moon group to reluctantly get up from their seats with bored expressions, obliged to prepare for the walk practice that they couldn’t avoid.

“Come on, Jijo.” one senior came over, put an arm around Phii Jijo’s neck, and pulled him along.

“Hey, wait up, I haven’t settled this with this doctor guy yet.” Phii Jijo protested as he was being dragged away by his friend.    “That’s enough from you.”

“Nong Ter, let’s talk later.” Phii Jijo, or Jo, shouted to me, “Hill, don’t be sneaky, okay?” Jo left his parting shot before walking away with the other stars.

“Hill, you need to lead, man.”

“Go ahead.”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up.”

Phii Hill, who should have gone with the others who were heading backstage, stayed standing in front of me, not moving. He looked at me with an unreadable expression, but without the anger he had shown before.

Phii Hill said nothing.

I didn’t dare to say anything either.

Including Phii Meili, who seemed to be waiting for some conversation to happen between us.

“Have you eaten yet?” Phii Hill’s question surprised me. I thought he would bring up the earlier incident, but his deep, soft voice had returned to its usual warmth.

“Uh…no.”

“Don’t you like the boxed meals here?”

“…No.”

“Do you want to eat something outside?”

“It’s okay.”

“Then let’s go eat together later. Meili, can I leave the junior with you for a bit?” Phii Hill turned to ask Phii Meili, who looked slightly surprised.

“Of course, Doctor. Meili has been looking after juniors since Bua’s time.” Phii Meili said with pride, “I can take care of him all the time. He’s part of our team now. In exchange, I will borrow the doctor’s summary sheets.”

“Um, sure.” Phii Hill gave a slight smile in acknowledgment, “Even though the sun isn’t too strong, don’t stay in it for more than thirty minutes, okay?”

“Got it, got it, such concern, I’ll make sure to hold an umbrella over him.” Phii Meili’s tone was half-sarcastic, half-annoyed. Phii Hill gave a polite smile before joining the others backstage.

Then Phii Meili dragged me back to the staff’s eating table and told me to wait while she checked if there were any meals left in the bags, unsure if the staff had eaten everything.

“There’s only fried rice left, do you like it?”

“Thank you, Phii.” I nodded in thanks as Phii Meili placed the lunch box on the table and sat down opposite me. I picked up a plastic spoon and started to eat the fried rice from the Foam box with relish. The taste wasn’t bad at all, but when I noticed Phii Meili staring, it almost made me lose my appetite.

“Wh-why are you looking at me?”    “Nothing! Nothing at all!”

“Your voice went high there.” I remarked.

“I wonder who might tell this Meili anything, you know, I want to know the details.”

“Haha.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Phii Meili’s cute, indirect way of asking, but she clearly wanted to know, “So, what does Phii Meili want to know?”

“Since it’s come to this, tell me, is the person Dr. Hill has been posting about and talking about recently you, Nong Ter?” Phii Meili got straight to the point.

“Uh…I don’t know.” but I still wasn’t brave enough to confirm it directly.

“Here’s the evidence.” she pointed at the watch mark on my wrist, “Why aren’t you wearing your watch? You usually wear it every day, right? That’s why there’s such a clear mark.” Phii Meili looked at me as if probing for an answer. It seemed she was determined to extract the truth from me.

“Uh…yes.” I had to admit it reluctantly.

“Admitted it, so it’s you, right?” Phii Meili’s eyes sparkled like she had just solved a great mystery.

“Yes…” I frowned slightly, “Can Phii Meili not tell anyone, please?”

“Why not? Don’t you want others to know that much?”

“I don’t want that.” I said softly. Phii Meili gently placed her left hand on the table, then her expression turned serious.    “Not ready, or what?”

“Yes, not ready at all.” I made a troubled face, and Phii Meili’s smile brightened up.

“Alright, Dr. Hill is probably waiting for you to be ready.” she leaned back into her chair, “I can’t believe it’s you. At first, we were all guessing, even thought it might be someone from another college.”

“So, what now? Can you tell me a bit about how Dr. Hill courted you? I can’t believe he knows how to court someone. Seriously, the whole crew was shocked when he posted that first time with the hashtag #DoctorPayingTheWay.”

I thought for a moment; I felt I could trust Phii Meili. Since she already knew, it wouldn’t hurt to tell her a little bit. I recounted to Phii Meili the same story I told North, about how I liked him since high school,  Christmas (my sister) incident, and added the recent events too.

When  he said…he liked me five years ago.

“Wow, five years, really? I barely lasted two months before finding someone new.” Phii Meili looked shocked, as if she couldn’t believe her ears, “So that means…Doctor Hill liked Nong Ter even before you knew him?”

“It doesn’t…seem possible. Phii Hill only transferred to my school in high school.”

“Oh really? Then maybe you met before that.”

“How can you like someone just from meeting them?” I voiced my thoughts. I don’t remember knowing Phii Hill before that. If it’s just from meeting, it’s hard to believe he could like me, “Plus, when Phii Hill first transferred, we didn’t even talk. I’m not someone who stands out to be well-known.”    “So, Nong Ter, you think…that Dr. Hill was lying?”

“Uh…I don’t know.” I answered hesitantly.

“He’s not lying…I think there might be more to the story that Doctor Hill hasn’t told.” Phii Meili speculated.

“At first, Phii Hill was going to tell me.” I paused, “but I…wasn’t brave enough to hear the whole truth.” My words made Phii Meili let out a big sigh.

“Sigh…this gives me a headache.” Phii Meili held her temples, “And your little sister, what’s her name again, Christmas? Doctor Hill said he only thinks of her as a sibling, right?”

“Yes…”

“But Christmas is like Doctor Hill.”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s the one who asked me to help…pursue Phii Hill.”

“Wow, a tragic love triangle, huh? That’s dramatic, I can’t believe Doctor Hill would have such a moment.” Phii Meili put her hand over her heart, “But still, it’s complicated. Doctor Hill says he only thinks of Christmas as a sibling, but he’s liked Ter for five years. And Ter likes Doctor Hill too, so that makes

Christmas…the extra, doesn’t it?”

“Uh…I wouldn’t say that.”

“Oh, poor little monkey.”

“But I think Phii Hill seems to like Christmas too.” I shared what I had been thinking all along.

“Not necessarily, haven’t you noticed? Have you ever tried talking to Christmas about it?”

“No…since that day we fought. It’s been almost a year since we’ve talked.” I sighed quietly, then clenched my lips to dispel the old memories that were flooding back.

“Oh, siblings not talking for almost a year?”

“Yes…”

“Why?”

“I thought…turning our backs on each other would be the best option for us, to prevent the wounds from getting any deeper.”

“It’s true that to move forward, one must let go of the past, but sometimes…it’s the past that blocks our way, especially if it’s a past that has hurt us. Some wounds, time can’t heal.”

“…”

“It’s a wound we have to heal ourselves.”

“I’m not saying anything against Nong Ter…but we can’t run away from problems forever.”

“…”

Phii Meili’s words left me speechless…because deep down, I knew I had been avoiding the problem, and I had never had the courage to face it head-on.

“Why don’t you try calling Christy…try talking, things might get better.” Phii Meili smiled at me gently, which made me feel comforted…Having someone you can trust is truly wonderful.

I took out my phone, searched for my sister’s number, remembering that I had blocked her in anger after our fight that day.

(Number blocked) – Christy

   I unblocked the number and dialed it. Today was a day off, hoping Christy would pick up.

Ring…

The sound of the phone ringing made me start to feel anxious.

She…she picked up.

“…”

“Hey…Chris, it’s your brother.” The other end didn’t say anything, so I had to speak first.

“Sniff…Sniff…Phii…”

“Chris…are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“Phii…I’m sorry…sniff…I’m sorry.”

And the trembling, tearful voice of my little sister made me want to cry along with her.

I could only stay silent, not daring to say anything while listening to her cry on the other end of the line. It was a familiar sound, but one I hadn’t heard in years. I missed her so much. I could picture her face, now stained with tears.    Chris can be bratty and stubborn, sometimes not very lovable,    but we always stick together.

“I’m…sorry too.” I managed to say in a shaky voice into the phone, my heart starting to feel tumultuous. Soon, the sobbing on the other end quieted down.

“Phii…are you not mad at me anymore?” Chris’s voice was as shaky as mine.

“No…wasn’t it you who was mad at me?”

“Yes. I was mad then…but I’m over it now.”

“Really? That’s good to hear. How are you doing?”

“I’m studying a lot, I’ve decided to study nursing.”

“That’s great, you finally made your choice.”

“Yeah, and how about you?”

“I’m waiting for the semester to start. Right now, there are lots of activities.” I found myself smiling slightly, unknowingly. We felt more like siblings who hadn’t seen each other in a long time rather than siblings who had been angry and not speaking.

“How is it there? Is it cold? Here it’s really hot, mom’s making watermelon juice every day, my face is almost turning into a watermelon.”

“Your face is already round like a watermelon.” I teased, just like we used to.

“Wait and see. I’ve lost weight now, my face isn’t chubby anymore.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes…and…I heard Phii Hill is studying medicine there…right?” Chris’s voice softened as if she was hesitant to bring up this topic.

“Oh…yes.”

“Have you…met him or not?”

“…I have.”

“He will become a doctor now…but Phii Hill has always been suited to be a doctor.”

“Yeah, he’s suited.”

“I checked his face on social media, Phii Hill is also the Moon of the Faculty, isn’t that amazing? He must be just as hot there as he was here, right?”

“I think…even hotter than before.”

Then silence began to replace our conversation. Christy didn’t say anything; it seemed that talking about Phii Hill was reopening old wounds for both of us.    “…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, it’s okay…I called to talk about this anyway.” I said truthfully. Even though time had dulled the anger, the traces of pain still lingered.

“Yes…that’s what I wanted to apologize for.” my sister’s voice started to tremble again, “Back then, it was my fault, I was selfish, I shouldn’t have done that…hiccup…at all.”

“Hey…don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have meddled in your affairs from the start. The reason you had to leave home was because of me, it’s my fault, hiccup…”

“No…it’s not your fault, not at all.” I started to feel anxious, as if Christy was crying harder and harder. What kind of brother am I to let my sister cry alone like this?

“I shouldn’t have interfered…with your business at all…sob.”

“Calm down, Christy, what business did you interfere with?”

“Well…the matter between you and Phii Hill…hiccup…”

“Between me and Phii Hill? …How?”

“Well, I…I was the one who got involved in what was happening between you two.”

“Wait a minute. Between us? Not between you and Phii Hill?”

“Huh? No.” Christy seemed surprised by what she heard, “Not me…you…Don’t tell me you didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“About who Phii Hill…likes.”

“Doesn’t he like you, Christy?” I asked in confusion, am I misunderstanding something here?

“…You’re really crazy! So dense, how can you not see it even after all that!?” Christy seemed to shift her mood from sad to irritated with me instead. Why would she call her brother dense? “Sigh…I thought you knew…you, my brother is blind, isn’t you?”

“Hold on…just tell me then. What’s the deal?”

“Sigh…you’ve made me stop crying.” Christy sighed deeply, “Don’t you really know who Phii Hill likes?”

“Well…honestly, no.”

“Oh, well, let’s say it’s not me then.”

“Then who is it?” The part where Phii Hill said he liked me for five years, I’ll keep that to myself for now, let’s get the story from Christy first.    “Oh. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Go ask Phii Hill yourself.”    “Hey, why are you suddenly angry?” I forgot to mention that Christy is quite moody. Just a moment ago she was sobbing, wasn’t she?

“Have you met Phii Hill?”    “Yes, I have.”

“Good. Have you talked?”

“What’s good about that…we’ve talked a bit.”

“Who initiated the conversation?”

“Phii Hill.”

“How did you meet?”

“I’m working at the club, Phii Hill is the president there.” Why ask?

“What did you talk about?”

“We talked about…general stuff, I guess.” We talked a lot, how should I answer that?

“Did he ask about me?”

“Uh…” I paused for a moment, thinking whether to tell her, “He did…I asked about you.” I decided to tell the truth.    “How did you ask?”

“I asked…what he thought…about it.” my voice softened inadvertently, and I was starting to not dare to say it out loud.

“And what did Phii Hill say?”

“…” I didn’t dare to tell her what I had asked. Phii Hill had said he only thought of her as a sister. Even though I could say that Phii Hill didn’t like Christy, Christy had liked Phii Hill before.

“He only thinks of me as a sister, right?”

“Yeah. That’s it, I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry.” I apologized to my sister, feeling guilty.

“It’s okay, I’ve known for a long time that Phii Hill didn’t feel that way about me.

He was pretty clear about it.” Christy’s voice didn’t sound sad, unlike what I had expected, “I did like Phii Hill, but I’ve come to terms with it now.”

“Because I also love you, and if the two people I love are happy, that makes me happy too.” Christy said cheerfully. If the people you love are happy, then you’re happy too, huh? Christy has really grown strong. I feel like I’ve been the weaker one here.

“Then there’s only you and Phii Hill left…I’ve moved on with Jo.”

“Why us?”

“Sigh…it’s nothing, really. I’m so glad we could finally talk. Are you coming back home?”

“I think I will…I miss home too, but I don’t know when.”

“Dad’s not angry anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but he’s still a bit stubborn, you know how old folks can be.”

“If he’s really not angry, that’s good then. I’ll try to visit home during the school break.”

“Yay, that’s great. I’ll tell Mom to plan a welcome party for you.”

“Wow, you are always over the top.”

“Just a little, I’ve got to go now, I have a tutorial class. Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Wait, what about Phii Hill? You haven’t told me.”

“Hmm…I do want to tell, but Phii Hill probably wants to say it himself. Have you had any special conversations up to this point? Like something Phii Hill has never said or done before, something that would surprise you?”

“I guess there were…” I tried to recall from when I first met him, “Like…asking to date, holding hands, acting a bit possessive, but still, he takes care of others the same way as always.”

“What do you mean by saying the same? Phii Hill is cold as ice to others, didn’t you notice? But he does what’s polite, sometimes anyway.”

“But he takes care of you too, doesn’t he? Like when you missed the bus, Phii

Hill went to pick her up and brought her home.”

“That’s because I’m your sister.”

“…?”

“I think I understand what Phii Hill is doing now.”

“Understand what? I still don’t get it.”

“People can’t wait forever, when the time comes, we need to act…on what we once let slip away. If it comes back into our hands, we must hold onto it tighter this time, like mom always said about ‘time and opportunity.’ For some people, this might be the opportunity they’ve been waiting for. You…try to observe what’s around you too, okay? I’ve got to go, we’ll talk later.”

And then Christy hung up, leaving her last words echoing in my mind.

Observe what’s around me…is that right?

“I’ve been trying to make everything clear from the start.”

   “But Ter…you’ve never really noticed it.”

   Suddenly, I remembered what Hill had said…

“How are you, Nong Ter…Nong Ter?” Phii Meili’s voice brought me back to reality, making me jump a little. Phii Meili was equally startled, “You scared me, I’ve been calling you for ages with no response, the call ended a long time ago, and you’re still spacing out.”

“Oh…really?” I lowered the phone from my ear and placed it on the table, “Phii

Meili, what did you say?”

“I asked how it went, did you talk it out with your sister?”

“It went well. We understand each other now…even if I’m still a bit confused, she’s not mad at me anymore.”

“That’s good, siblings should love each other. See? Just one call, and all the lingering issues are gone.”

“Yes…thank you, Phii Meili, for telling me. Christy also said that dad isn’t angry anymore either, so I should be able to go home this break.” I smiled broadly, feeling relieved, thinking of everyone at home.    “I’m happy for you. Did you ask about Doctor Hill?”

“I asked…Christy said she’s over Phii Hill. And she told me to try to notice things around me.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” I replied softly, uncertain. I wasn’t sure what the things around me that Christy was referring to might be, perhaps she meant Phii Hill. Is there something about him that I haven’t noticed?

“Okay, let’s talk about that later. They’re about to start the rehearsal. Let’s get ready to take pictures.”

“Uh…okay.”

 

EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 10: Something In Your Eyes

   I stepped back from the crowd, understanding why Phii Thanmild was crying; because Phii Hill is the one she loves, but maybe it’s been too long for her to keep giving love to someone who has never looked back.

But I can’t really say anything, as I’m probably not much different.

I think I understand that pain well.

But we have a choice…whether to keep wallowing in that pain or not.    I walked out and looked left and right for a place to sit, then I saw senior Ant sitting at the snack and beverage area with a bored expression. So I walked over to her.

“Phii Mot, may I sit with you?” Phii Mot was startled when she heard my voice unexpectedly.

“Oh, sure, go ahead, do you want some cold water? It’s not hot, but people are making a fuss.” Phii Mot said with a sigh, handing me a glass of cold water.

“Thanks.” I took it, not forgetting to thank her, “So, what’s all the fuss about?” Even though I had an idea, I wanted to ask Phii Mot for more details.    “Well…just a bunch of drama, causing trouble for everyone. How many staff have to wait? We were supposed to start the rehearsal at 10:30 when the sun was nice. Look, it’s almost 11 now. We won’t even get to walk before lunch, and by the time we can rehearse, it’ll be afternoon, the sun will be scorching hot, and we’ll all be sweating. Can’t she just cry at home?” Phii Mot complained at length.

Tired and exasperated, I guess she must be really fed up.

   “Sorry, Nong Ter, I’m just a bit upset.” Phii Mot gave me a wry smile.    “It’s okay, what’s the summary of what happened?” I asked back, sipping cold water for refreshment.

“It’s about Thanmild, the medical star, you know her?” I nodded to indicate I knew her, “She likes Doctor Hill, for whatever reason, and now she’s just crying. It’s so confusing. I don’t know the details, but someone said she’s crying because of Doctor Hill. And the doctor, well, he’s disappeared.” Phii Mot let out a big sigh.    “And many of the stars are her friends. So they won’t practice; they’re all busy comforting her. When asked why she’s crying, what’s wrong, she won’t tell. She just says it’s nothing, acting like an abandoned woman in a lakorn, really annoying.” Phii Mot rolled her eyes.

“You don’t like Phii Mild?” I asked out of curiosity. Phii Mot paused a bit with my question.

“Well, you’re direct, aren’t you? Not exactly. I’m just tired of her. I mean, I don’t have any issues with Doctor Hill, but she’s been all over him since the first year.

It’s quite annoying to see.”

“Does Phii Mild like Phii Hill one-sidedly?” Even though I knew the answer from Phii Hill, I wanted to ask Phii Mot again to understand what outsiders thought.

“Definitely. Anyone can see that Doctor Hill isn’t interested in her at all. Maybe she’s the only one who can’t see it, but no one says anything, it might hurt her feelings.”

“And…does Phii Hill not have…a girlfriend?” My heart beat a little faster as I decided to ask this question. Phii Mot looked thoughtful.

“I think not…he seems uninterested in anyone, like he’s emotionally dead. I don’t think he’s dated anyone since he started university.” After a moment, Phii Mot seemed to remember something, “Oh, but he did mention someone he likes in an interview video last year.”

“…”

“Uh…I can’t remember, let me show you.” Phii Mot rummaged through her bag, then pulled out her phone, probably to show me the video she was talking about.    “Oh my god, he’s here, the doctor is here!” Phii Napdao’s shrill voice had both me and Phii Mot turning abruptly to look, and everyone else did the same, looking towards the tall figure walking into the activity area.

Phii Hill…

“Come here, you good boy, come here!” Phii Napdao ran over to drag Phii Hill towards where everyone was gathered. For a moment, I made eye contact with Phii Hill before he looked away.

“Nong Ter, want to go see what’s happening? Maybe there’ll be something interesting.” Phii Mot whispered. I agreed; I was also curious to see what would happen next.

“Calm down, Mae, do you want some smelling salts?” Phii Meili rushed over, panting, before stopping Phii Napdao, who had suddenly dragged Phii Hill into the center of the crowd.

“Leave me alone! Dr. Hill, where have you been? What about this?” Phii Napdao pointed at Phii Thanmild, who was still slumped over crying. At first, there weren’t many people around, but once they saw Phii Napdao dragging Phii Hill in, the curious onlookers gathered as if watching a soap opera, including myself.

“Sniff…Hill, waaah, I am sorry…waaah, I don’t want Hill to be troubled.” Phii Thanmild said between sobs, her words broken due to her heavy crying.

Phii Hill looked at Phii Thanmild with an unreadable expression.

   If this turns into a sweet romantic scene…please call an ambulance for me, because my heart is aching right now.

   Phii Hill crouched down next to Phii Thanmild.

   :

   Sniff…

   I didn’t want to watch anymore…

   Please, don’t wipe Phii Thanmild’s tears like you just did for me…

   “It’s me who should apologize.” said the tall figure in a calmer voice than expected. Phii Thanmild looked up at Phii Hill with hopeful eyes and a faint smile amidst her tear-streaked face.

“Hill…” she called out sweetly to him.

I clenched my mouth shut.

   Just a while ago, you said you liked me, didn’t you…

   If that’s the case…then help me understand that you’re not lying…

   “There’s someone I care about more. I won’t make that one cry because of me anymore.” Phii Hill smiled before standing up, giving me a gentle smile as he turned towards me.

And for the first time, I found myself smiling back.

It was just for a fleeting moment, probably unnoticed by anyone else.

But it made me feel incredibly warm inside.

“…But I am still crying, Hill! Can’t you care about me a little?” Phii Thanmild started to wail loudly, still sobbing, while the women around her tried to hold her back and calm her down. Everyone around started to look around in confusion.

Soon, various criticisms began to rise.

Phii Hill made it as if to leave, but Phii Napdao grabbed his arm first.

“Wait a moment, Doctor, what are we going to do?”

“Mild is tired today. Let her rest. We’ll start practicing in the afternoon.” Phii Hill said. Phii Napdao nodded in understanding, thinking that this was probably the best solution for now, as the stars were already exhausted.

“Okay, let’s do it this way. President of the club, whatever you say goes. Doctor, let Mild rest first, okay? Today, we won’t take it seriously. Let’s go for lunch first, then disperse.” Phii Napdao announced through the loudspeaker. After that, everyone started to disperse for lunch. A few of Phii Thanmild’s friends helped her walk out of the activity area.

Phew, somehow it felt relieving.

   I walked back with Phii Mot to sit at our original spot.

   “Wow, that was intense earlier. At first, I thought it was going to turn into a love scene where Doctor Hill would bend down to wipe Mild’s tears and embrace her. But no, there’s someone else he cares more about, oh my, saying it like that is like a slap in the face.” Phii Mot said, laughing with relish.

Cares more about…Is that so?

   Oh dear…how should I handle my own heart now!

   “Everyone doesn’t have to go out for lunch, it’ll take too long. Our staff has provided boxed lunches. Line up over there, where Phii Mot with a showy face is sitting.” Phii Napdao announced again through the loudspeaker, pointing towards where Phii Mot and I were sitting.

“Hold on, Phii Napdao, what do you mean by ‘sitting there with a showy face’?” Phii Mot shouted back in a teasing tone. Soon, people started lining up, and the staff brought in several bags of boxed meals, arranging them. Since I was sitting nearby, I took the opportunity to take some photos. Even if Phii Meili wasn’t around, she’d probably tell me to take photos if she were here. Even if the photos weren’t usable, it didn’t hurt to take them.

“Do we have fried pork neck?”

“No, we have basil stir-fry, fried rice, and garlic pork, that’s all.”

“Aw, that’s boring, I’m tired of these three dishes. Can’t we order something else?” If I remember correctly, this person should be Phii Sky from the Agriculture Department. She clearly looked bored after seeing today’s lunch offerings.

“Other things are expensive, Sky. You know our club has a tight budget.” So Phii Sky reluctantly picked up a box of food.

“Nong Ter, have you taken the photos yet?” Suddenly, Phii Meili’s voice from behind made me jump slightly.

“I’ve taken the shot, but where did you go?”

“Chasing gossip, that’s what. Today we’ve got the talk of the town, did you manage to take a photo of Dr Hill earlier, Nong Ter?”

“I didn’t take any photos.” I hadn’t even thought about taking pictures at that moment.

“Hmm, keeping it in your heart is enough then.” Phii Meili said half-jokingly. I looked puzzled, and she let out a small laugh, “Ah, if you make that confused face,

I won’t dare to tease you.”

“Meili, perfect timing, could you go get some crates of soda? We’re running low here.” Phii Mot turned to Phii Meili for help since she was busy distributing water. There were staff, stars, and even onlookers from outside the rehearsal who were casually getting in line for some sweet drinks, but it seemed like the seniors didn’t mind, as there was plenty of water to go around anyway.

“Don’t make me do the lifting. I’m a delicate woman, and Nong Ter is here, why don’t you ask him to help?”

“Don’t make the younger one do it, he’s here to take photos, not to carry water.”

“Oh right, I forgot, I’ll go get them then.” Phii Meili raised her hand to pinch my cheek gently before heading to the back to fetch the soda crates. Initially, I thought to help, but it looked like Phii Meili could handle it on her own, maybe even with just one hand.

“Oh, Dr. Hill, are you eating here at the site? You usually eat out.”

The staff member distributing lunch boxes spoke up, making me turn towards the source of the voice. Phii Hill, who was bent over choosing a lunch box, looked up to see who was talking.

   Phii Hill…

   Why does it feel like this time, just hearing his name makes my heart beat unusually fast?

   It’s beating harder than it ever has.

   Just hearing his name makes my heart tremble?

   It’s serious this time, Ter…

   “Uh, I thought the box lunches here today would be especially good.” said Phii Hill, his sharp eyes briefly meeting mine, and my brain automatically commanded me to look away.

I still can’t bring myself to meet his gaze…

“Maybe his sweetheart is around here, huh? Eating with someone special makes everything taste better.” Phii Meili’s voice echoed from a distance, “Hehe, just kidding, Dr., don’t be mad at me, okay?” She then smiled broadly, twisting her body playfully. Phii Hill didn’t say anything, just gave her a polite smile before walking away.

“Meili, do you know who it is?”

“Know who?” Phii Meili looked confused at the person asking.

“Don’t do that, what you teased earlier, do you know who it was about?”

I started to feel anxious. Phii Meili looked at me as if she knew, but if it was Phii Meili, it wouldn’t be hard to guess. After all, Phii Hill had been flirting with me in front of Phii Meili, and earlier he had even dragged me away.

“Um…I don’t know, I just said that.”

“I don’t believe it, tell me, Meili, you’re keeping secrets.”

“Not sure yet, but even if I knew, I wouldn’t say. Doctor Hill might kill me if I did.” Phii Meili stuck her tongue out at the person asking.

“Oh come on, just hint a little, I want to know, everyone wants to know.” Then the staff who had finished distributing the boxed lunches gathered around Phii Meili, forcing me to move back, leaving only Phii Mot still handing out meals.    “Oh, you’re such a gossip, why are you so eager to know? Wait for the doctor to tell you himself.”    “How did you find out?”

“My gay intuition is strong, but if I’m wrong, then I don’t know. It’s even more dramatic than what the doctor said earlier.” I started to sweat. If Phii Meili really knew, please don’t tell anyone, I am begging, T^T

   “Really? Then can you give us a hint?”

“No, no, stop crowding around me, it’s hot, go away. I’m not even sure myself, go ask Doctor Hill again. If he decides to not tell you.” Phii Meili shrugged,

“You’ll find out eventually.”

“How will we know?”

“You guys don’t keep up with the news, do you? Check this out, the Cute Boy page already posted about it.” Hearing what Phii Meili said, I didn’t hesitate; I immediately grabbed my phone to check.

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – Posted a new video 10 minutes ago

   Direct from the star contest event, our second-year medical student, Doctor

Hill, due to some spicy and hot issues from #DoctorGenerous and

#WhoOwnsTheWatch, this time we have a clip that’s like a slap to all the girls in the university, especially…um, one particular person…If you secretly like or are in love with Doctor Hill, admin would like to throw this clip at your face, because even the admin is hurt by this. Who could be this clear, I truly admire the doctor, I really do //wipes tears, #DoctorManlyHill

   It was the clip of Phii Hill talking to Phii Thanmild just now, with a clear shot of Phii Thanmild crying and making a scene. Wow, news spreads fast on social media.

I scrolled through the comments.

: Oh my, boo-hoo, Dr. Mild, Dr. Hill is too harsh. He didn’t have to be this direct.

   Isn’t it better that he’s finally being straightforward?

   Doctor’s eyes, what’s with that look? It’s too serious, it’s like a death sentence.

   The bar will be packed today for sure, a whole school’s worth of heartbreak, including mine. You could have been kinder, Dr., boo-hoo.

   : Doctor, you can’t do this, sob, it’s too hurtful.

   :. Who, who is she? Why is the doctor doing so much for her? Oh, I’m so curious, so jealous.

   : I think the doctor really likes this person a lot. Think about it, he’s never spoken like this to anyone before. Rejecting Phii Mild so directly means he’s really sure about someone else.

   He never spoke up before, why now all of a sudden?

   : One team has lost all its energy, this is team Fern, she’s cute, she even brought water to Phii Hill.

   Team Mild, no more fussing, you lost fair and square, let it go.    : Hey, who’s to blame here? Phii Mild is the pitiful one. As she said, it’s totally unfair. Phii Mild has been taking care of Phii Hill since year one.

   : Taking care or being clingy? Annoying.

   : Mild takes care of Hill? That’s a laugh, Hill doesn’t care about her at all.    He’s already rejected her like that. Said there’s someone he cares about more than Mild, what else is there to be confused about? Mild should love herself.

   Mild has tried so hard, Hill should appreciate that at least.

   : So, the right person wins even before the game begins, huh? Don’t know who it is, but congratulations. Please take good care of our Phii Hill, T^T    I stopped reading the comments when I saw that the page had posted another new message.

Cute Boy & Girl – MU – 1 minute ago

   Let’s stop arguing. I don’t know which team you’re on, but let’s all be team Dr. Hill. We see the person we love, if they love someone else, we should be happy for them (the ultimate heroine). Our Cute Boy page will no longer remain silent on this topic, as the Moon and Star competition doesn’t want outsiders like us to interview. So, we’ll throw money at it, err! Donate a certain amount because the Moon and Star team donates money and old clothes to children in the mountains every year. We’ve talked with the competition organizers, and they said if our page contributes to the donation, they’ll allow an interview with Dr. Hill.

   So, anyone wanting to know the inside scoop on Doctor Hill, donate, five or ten baht each. Don’t give too much, or there might be drama about us exploiting our followers. Admin isn’t using the money to buy booze, cosmetics, or to treat anyone; it’s for donations. So, consider it making merit, you’ll earn merit and get the scoop.

   P.S. The Moon and Star contest committee also asked to promote the commemorative postcards from the event, which help support children against the cold this year, are still available. Please support by buying one, the photos will be hot for sure (even if she says they haven’t been taken yet, haha).    Wow, that’s awesome, the Cute Boy page is accepting donations to interview Phii Hill. They’ve gone all out, supposedly for the mountain children. That’s a pretty good idea.

But it’s not so great for Phii Hill to be interviewed, huh.

“Phii Meili, what are these commemorative postcards from the Moon and Star contest?” I asked Phii Meili.

“Oh, every year we take pictures of the stars and moons, but it’s the second year, because this is when we’re supposed to sell them. First year faculties don’t have their stars and moons yet, so we’ll take photos of the second years.” Phii Meili explained, “We have a tradition of donating to help children in the mountains facing cold weather and providing educational scholarships every year. So, we make postcards of them to sell, and all the profits go to donations.”

“…”

“It’s an order from the university.”

“I see.” I nodded in understanding, “So, they haven’t taken the photos yet, like the page mentioned?”

“I was hoping Nong Ter could help with that.” Phii Meili said with a wry smile. “The old photographer isn’t good, and it’s hard to find a new one, so I thought I’d suggest Nong Ter to do it, since you take beautiful photos.”    “No…I don’t think I can handle official photography like that.”

“Come on, let’s propose it first.”

“Uh, I doubt anyone would agree to that.” Really, I think it’s beyond me, these are postcards for the contest, if they’re not good, it’s all over.

   “Someone will.” Phii Meili whispered beside me, “If Doctor Hill agrees, no one would dare to object.”

“…Huh? Why would Phii Hill need to agree?” What is Phii Meili talking about?    “Oops. Nothing, I didn’t see or hear anything, hehe.” Then Phii Meili played off like she was joking, rolling her eyes elsewhere, which made me even more sure that she knew something.

I have a bad feeling about this somehow.

   Sigh…If it were North, Foam, or Phoon, I’d threaten to kill them to keep them quiet, but it’s Phii Meili, T^T

   “Finally done, I’m going to take a break now. Meili, please watch the stuff, and don’t let Nong Ter disappear again.” said Phii Mot before twisting her body to relieve the stiffness from standing and distributing water for so long. I only now noticed that the other staff members had gone to sit together and eat at the back. Only me, Phii Meili, and Phii Mot were left here.

“Okay, go ahead, Mot.” Phii Meili nodded in agreement, and Phii Mot walked off to join the other staff.

“Oh, someone’s partner is eating over there.” Phii Meili said in a cheerful tone, pointing towards Phii Hill who was eating with a group of second-year moon friends, causing me to glance over and give a slightly reproachful look.

“Phii Meili, come on, what partner?” I frowned at her.

“Oh my, someone’s embarrassed…Dr. Hill, there’s someone here blushing a lot.”    Even though Phii Meili wasn’t loud enough for others to hear, it still made me feel embarrassed. What’s this about? Why tease me? T^T, stop it already, boo-hoo.    “Your face and ears are all red, is it from the sun? But it’s not that hot. Wow, he looks handsome from afar, doesn’t he?” Phii Meili continued to point at Phii Hill without stopping.

“What’s with you, Phii Meili?” I pretended not to know what she was talking about.

“Even when he’s just sitting with the moon group, he still stands out so much, it really grates on my heart.” Phii Meili twisted with feigned embarrassment, “Come on, let’s go take some photos.” and then she grabbed my wrist, pretending to drag me away. Why does everyone want to drag me around today?

“No…I don’t want to.” I resisted her pull, “They’re eating, we’d bother them.”    “Bother what? They’re eating, but he’s been sneaking glances over here several times, afraid someone might kidnap you or what?” she said with a hint of irritation.

“He’s…looking here?”

Does that mean Phii Hill was sneaking looks at me? Hey, before I could even think, Phii Meili had already dragged me over to the table where the moon group was eating.

I protested to Phii Meili because I wasn’t ready to face him right now. I really wasn’t. At least give me some time to prepare. Not just drag me like this. But before I knew it, I was pulled to the moon group’s table by someone stronger than me, and the guys were talking loudly as guys do.

“Hey guys, can we take some pictures?” Phii Meili asked, and everyone turned to look at us.

Including Phii Hill.

Phii Hill looked up at me.

Just like that…my heart started feeling uneasy again.

“Take photos while we’re eating?” one of the seniors said while still chewing.    “How about we do some behind-the-scenes shots? I’m not going to direct you, too lazy to talk much. I’ll introduce you all before we start practicing. Just act natural, eat like there’s no camera here.” Everyone nodded in understanding and then turned back to eating and chatting casually.    “Are you taking photos today, junior? That’s so cute.”

“What’s with you, Jijo? Nong Ter, this is Jijo, the moon from the Law Department. You are not allowed to flirt with him, Jijo, this one is off-limits, someone’s already claimed him. Meili here will defend the junior, like an ant guarding its hill.”

“Wow, what’s all this about?”

“Just being cautious, Jijo isn’t trustworthy.”

“Is your name Nong Ter?”

I simply nodded without responding verbally.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Hey Jijo, I said no flirting.” Phii Meili retorted, hands on her hips.

“I’m not flirting, just asking…what do you say?”

“Uh…” I looked around, unsure what to say, “Right now…no.”

I decided to answer truthfully…because I really don’t have a girlfriend. If I had said yes, they would have asked who it was.

“See…if you don’t have a girlfriend, then I can flirt, right?” Jijo said halfjokingly.

“You can’t.” Phii Meili argued.

“But he doesn’t have a girlfriend, does he?”

“I told you, someone has already claimed him.”

“But that doesn’t mean they’re dating, right? So technically, no one has the right to block others.” Jijo gave me a mischievous smile. All I could do was give a dry smile back, “In cases like this, the freshman should decide.”    Jijo’s words made Phii Meili let out a big sigh.

“So, are you going to flirt with the junior?” Phii Meili raised her eyebrow, pointing at me.

“Well…I don’t know. I just think he’s cute, that’s all.” Jijo said as he took out his phone, “We could exchange Line IDs, get to know each other better.” and he handed his phone to me.

I wasn’t sure what to do…

   I remembered the time when my senior got mad because I exchanged Line IDs with Phii Junior…

   I turned to look at Phii Hill, sitting not far from Phii Jijo, his face impassive, but his eyes betrayed his anger which he was barely containing…

   

   EASTTAGYOUREMINE CHAPTERS HOME

EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 9: Question & Answer

   The gentle tug on my wrist by someone taller made me follow along helplessly. I tried to shake my hand free, but it was futile. Phii Hill didn’t say anything after we left that area, with the surrounding noise from the crowd, I hoped no one noticed us. It would be bad if anyone saw, because Phii Hill was clearly holding my hand.

Huhhhhh…

The silent cry in Ter’s heart that no one heard…

The noise of the crowd quieted down after Phii Napdao announced for all the stars and moons to return to their lines, but it seemed that voice had no effect on the person in front of me.

Phii Hill kept leading me away from the activity area.

Ohhh, why does he have such sticky hands? I can’t even get free!

“Where are we going?” I said, still trying to free my hand, but Phii Hill gripped it tighter.

The other person didn’t respond until we reached the side of the activity area, near the equipment storage rooms, not exactly a hidden spot, but probably because it was the semester break, there weren’t many people around.

Phii Hill stopped walking but didn’t let go of my hand. I pulled back once more. “Let go.” I said with a slight tone of annoyance, to be dragged off like this without any explanation.

“I won’t.” Phii Hill turned to look at me. The look in his eyes made me pause. I couldn’t have seen it wrong, could I? In a blink, I saw a hint of vulnerability in those eyes, before they returned to their usual warmth.

“…” I couldn’t say anything.

Phii Hill raised his other hand and gently touched my cheek.

Why does it feel like…

Something is about to overflow.

“I can’t let someone who’s crying go.” a warm hand moved up to gently wipe away the tears that were welling up.

Am I…crying?

“I’m not crying!” I pushed his hand away and wiped my tears roughly.

“Don’t rub your eyes so hard.” Phii Hill held my other hand.

“Let go…hic.” I hated that look full of concern, and suddenly, tears I didn’t know where they came from started flowing. I didn’t even know why I was crying…I just knew I started sobbing until I could barely breathe.

It felt like all my endurance had crumbled down.

“Ugh…sob.” I let everything I had been holding back flow out along with my tears. I didn’t know anymore. hic…

Phii Hill released both my hands before pulling me into a hug.

“Let go…let go!” I protested while sobbing, pounding on his strong chest with all my might. I knew it must have hurt him, but he still didn’t loosen his embrace; instead, he hugged me tighter.

“Ugh…sob, let go.” I pulled and tugged at the bright white student shirt, “I hate you!…hic. I hate you! Do you hear me!” I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore. I didn’t want to see myself like this right now.

“Yes…I know.” The gentle voice came out softly, like water soothing the fire that was spreading through my heart, his hand stroking to comfort, “Breathe deeply, okay?” Phii Hill leaned down to whisper in my ear, using his thumb to gently wipe away my tears again.

I continued to sob in his embrace for a while. If it weren’t for Phii Hill holding me up, I would have collapsed to the ground. How could I cry so much in front of him?

   I’ve always cried alone…

   I tried to take deep breaths to calm my heart and pull my mind back together.

   “Your eyes are all red now.” Phii Hill smiled at me tenderly and loosened his hug. I slowly stepped back, “Are you okay now?”

“I don’t know.” I grumbled to hide my embarrassment.

“Okay, then I think it’s time we had a talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“About what made you cry.”

“I didn’t cry.” I looked down, feeling utterly embarrassed.

“But my shirt is completely soaked, and it’s all crumpled too.” Phii Hill pointed at himself, showing his student shirt that was neat this morning but now stained with tears and crumpled from being tugged at.

“I…I’m sorry.” I apologized, feeling guilty.

“It’s okay.” Phii Hill walked over to sit on a nearby marble chair. “Come sit here.”

I didn’t say anything before walking over to sit beside him, feeling awkward.

After all, I had just sobbed all over him; it would be crazy to run away now.

“Phii …I don’t know where to start.” Phii Hill looked serious, but his eyes betrayed his inner turmoil.

Phii Hill was…scared.

“I want to start anew…but sometimes, we can’t avoid the past.”

“Because it’s a wound too deep.” His sad eyes made me want to cry again.    I had never seen him like this before…

My hands started sweating again, and I clenched my lips to suppress a slight tremble. I didn’t dare meet his sorrowful gaze; it would make my eyes burn with tears.

Phii Hill sighed softly as if preparing to say something that was weighing heavily on his mind. I waited to hear those words, though my own heart was trembling just as much…

   I was afraid too…

   I was scared that what he would say would change everything, whether what I had always understood was right or wrong, the truth would change something between us.

   Or maybe there are things I shouldn’t know. If it would cause more pain than I’ve ever felt. Should I stay and listen? It’s not that I don’t want to know anything. I do want to know and hear it from him.

   And how much can I believe in that truth…?

   “Uh…actually, it all started five years ago.” His deep, soft voice finally spoke, while I was lost in my conflicted thoughts.

“Uh…wait.”

I didn’t know if I could handle everything he was about to tell…

“Yes?”

“I…can I ask something first?”

“Yes?”

“Will the story I tell be okay for me?”

“Um…it should be okay.”

“Will you tell me everything?”

“Of course…or do you not want to hear it?”

“Uh…I don’t know, I think maybe not right now.” I said hesitantly. Part of me wanted to know, but my mind was flashing warning signals.

“Not right now is fine. I’ll tell you later.” Phii Hill smiled at me indulgently, then reached out to gently pat my head.    “Huh…what?”

“It’s up to you, Ter. I can do either way, I just want you to feel comfortable.” Phii Hill withdrew the hand that was patting my head, “But we should probably talk a little now. It wouldn’t be good to leave things like this.”

“Uh…yeah, but what are we going to talk about?”

“If you aren’t ready to hear everything, then do you have anything you want to ask me?” Phii Hill seemed to know I had many questions and was giving me the chance to ask them. And it was true. I had plenty of things I wanted to ask.    “Then…don’t tell me everything, just enough for me to understand, but not the whole thing.” I emphasized, somewhat afraid of hearing something that might upset me.

“Ha ha.” Phii Hill chuckled lightly at my words, then lifted my chin with his hand and looked at me affectionately, “How should we do this, just enough to understand but not everything?”

“Well…just half then, give me the part that’s okay.”

“And the other half?”

“…” I furrowed my brows, pondering for a moment, “I’ll decide when I want to know that.” I decided to leave it for the future.

“That’s fine. I’ll answer all of your questions anyway.” His handsome face was adorned with a gentle smile, along with the tender look I often saw, sigh…it really wasn’t good for me.

“And what percentage can I trust?”

“A hundred percent.”

“Really? And how will I know?”

“I’ll prove it to you myself.” and that firm tone made me stop doubting Phii Hill. Whether to trust him or not, I’d decide later. For now, I’ll ask questions…and I need to choose my questions carefully.

“So, the first question…Phii Thanmild…” I decided to mention the name of the person currently bothering me. I wanted Phii Hill to tell me what’s really going on between him and Phii Thanmild, because she’s been very clear.

“Why?” Phii Hill asked with a puzzled look, probably understanding but pretending not to know, hmph.

“Well…what’s the deal?”

“She’s an ex-girlfriend of a friend.”

“Aren’t you friends?”

“No.” Phii Hill shook his head gently. “We’re not friends.”

“Really? And what do you think of her?”

“She is annoying.” Phii Hill looked at me with emotionless eyes. Annoying, huh…that’s harsh. If she heard that, she’d be heartbroken. You don’t care at all, do you? “But I have to respect her because she’s a woman.”

Even though Phii Thanmild likes Phii Hill so much, huh…well, let’s change the question then.

   “What about Christmas?” I decided to ask about my sister, since I knew Phii Hill and Chris used to like each other.

“She’s my sister-in-law.”

“Oh…I thought you liked each other.”

“We’re senior and junior.” Phii Hill smiled. “Because you didn’t let me tell you everything, I won’t continue with this topic.”

Oh…karma. Now I’m really curious, but then again, it directly involves me.

   So…should I ask about myself?

   “Me then…”

“Hmm? Why?” Phii Hill flashed a broad smile, his eyes sparkling.

“Well, me…” I whispered, oh boy. I’m not brave enough to ask, sigh.

“The main point of this story is you, do you want me to tell you?” the tall figure said in a soft, slightly cunning tone.

“Uh…no, no, no, let’s not go there. Change the topic, please.” I waved my hands dismissively, trying to forget what I just said. Why did I ask such a direct question?

It’s like asking if he likes me or something…

And what if the answer wasn’t good, what would you do, Ter? T^T

“But I can tell you parts of it, just to say we’ve talked about it.”

“Ah, uh…really? What about some parts?” I started to get interested in what my brother was saying he wanted to talk about, at least if it could clarify my current doubts.

“For example…about when I asked to pursue you, Ter.”

“!!!” I gasped deeply when I heard the word ‘pursue’, yeah, that’s right. I should ask about this.

“…” I realized I really should ask about this so I wouldn’t have to guess on my own anymore, “So…what’s the deal with that?”

“Hmm…” Phii Hill drew out his voice, making a teasingly thoughtful gesture,

“Just as I said, it’s quite clear.”

“Clear how…go on, explain, why would you pursue me?”

“Well, if we’re talking about pursuing someone, there’s only one reason, isn’t there?” Phii Hill tilted his head in curiosity, “The reason is ‘liking someone’, right?”    So how is it, when did it start, why, and why bring it up now?

   “Are you really going to pursue me?” I was still puzzled.

“Absolutely.” The tall figure gave a sincere smile.

“The reason is…that…” right? I hesitated to say the word. It’s embarrassing, you know. Who would dare to ask that, huh? My heart wasn’t feeling any better, it started beating strongly again since we sat down to talk.

“Oh…if you mean ‘liking you’…”

“Yes.”

“Hey, why say it so casually like that!!”

“…Like what! Stop, stop, stop saying it, censor that word, beep.” I raised both hands making an ‘X’ sign, mimicking a censor sound, Phii Hill chuckled a bit at my reaction.

What’s so funny!!

Thump Thump

Thump Thump

Gasp!!! Phii Hill said he likes me, Phii Hill said he likes me.

Woah!!!

“Ha ha ha, alright. I won’t say it anymore.” Phii Hill laughed softly before reaching to pat my head again, but this time I dodged in time.

“Absolutely not.” I frowned slightly, “Liar.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Liar.”

“I’m telling the truth.”

“Just suddenly saying this, who would believe it? Nothing seemed off before.” I started to protest, feeling as though warm tears were beginning to well up around my eyes again.

“I’ve been trying to make everything clear from the start.”

“…”

“But you…never noticed it.”

“…”

Danger

Detected an abnormally fast heart rate

…Your heart is at risk of sudden failure!!

“Ter…Ter.” Phii Hill’s soft voice brought me back to reality. Just now, it felt like I short-circuited, like an appliance drenched in water, sigh.

“Since…when?” I managed to squeeze out the words from my throat to ask. Right now, my brain could only process this one question.

“You’re back with me. You were completely still just now; I thought I might have to perform CPR.” Phii Hill referred to himself as “doctor” and gave me a sweet, yet cunning smile.

“Funny, CPR for what, how did you even study medicine? Are you ready to perform CPR on anyone at any moment?” Once I had almost fully regained my senses, I retorted.

“Five years.”

“Huh?”

“The answer to your previous question…it’s been five years up…to now.” The tall figure said before pushing himself up from the chair. Wait, what, five years!?

I paused for a moment to let my brain process and calculate the time again.    “Wait, what, five years…we’ve known each other for that long?” I turned to ask Phii Hill, who was now walking around the marble table.

“Well…not exactly, I guess.” The other person extended his hand towards me, indicating for me to take it and stand up.

“…Five years. I was just starting high school then. We met when I was in upper high school, didn’t we?” I objected, puzzled, while getting up from the chair on my own without taking Phii Hill’s hand.

“Yes.” Phii Hill grabbed my hand, “It’s a long story, let’s save it for another time.”

“But…but I want to know. What’s the real deal?” I said, shaking off his hand.

“Well, you said you didn’t want to know all of it.” Phii Hill said, “Just this should be enough for now, at least now you know that I really intend to pursue you.” The tall man still wouldn’t let go of my hand as usual. I kept frowning because the word ‘pursue’ was still embarrassing me.

Hmph, I want to know, but part of me is scared, T^T

“Let’s go, otherwise, others will be inconvenienced too.”

He’s right…he’s got to go practice his catwalk. And I’ve got to go take photos, oh, I almost forgot.

“But you don’t have to hold my hand.” I grumbled without looking at him.

“It’s a punishment.” The tall figure said, “For giving your LINE to Junior.”

“What…what? He just invited me to take photos.”

“I’ll take photos with you myself. Don’t worry about them.” Before he gently pulled my wrist to make me follow, instead of clearing things up with the questions I asked, it just made me more confused!

Five years, what’s that about, oh my, I can’t figure it out.

   I thought he was going to hold my hand back to the activity area, but Phii Hill led me to the parking lot instead.

“Ter, you go back first. Thanks for walking with me.” And Phii Hill gave me his usual sweet smile. It wasn’t like he forced me to hold hands, right?    “Where are you going?”

“Back to the condo to change clothes.” Phii Hill answered, flicking the key fob to unlock his fancy car while showing me his shirt, “Hmm…it does need changing, with all the wrinkles and tear stains from you. Uh…it’s really embarrassing to see.”

“…”

“But just change, okay? I won’t wash it.”

“…Are you crazy!! You’re filthy.” I couldn’t help but say, you dirty person, with it being that stained and you say you won’t wash it, the car teased me.

“Well, it was you who did it.”

“Wash it…it’s dirty.”

“Haha, just kidding. Then, see you at the activity area, okay?” Phii Hill opened the car door and got in, “Or you can go back to the condo with me if you want.” He lowered the window just as quickly.

“No thanks, I’ll go by myself.” I stuck out my tongue at him before turning back to head towards the activity area. I hadn’t walked far when I heard the sound of the luxurious European car moving away.

I walked slowly down the path, my mind filled with a lot to think about…Phii Hill has been into me for five years already? How could that be…I didn’t even know him for those five years. I hadn’t even heard of him, not until I was in grade 9. I knew Phii Hill casually, but he probably didn’t know me, because at my old school, the junior and senior high sections were separated. I heard rumors about a new transfer in grade 10, very handsome, in the “King’s class”, academically excellent, and a standout in sports. Plus, his family was well-off, so he was pretty much perfect.

   That senior was named Phii Hill. Honestly, I didn’t care much. I didn’t know him, but I often saw Phii Hill around after school before heading home. He would often wait by the school gate, waiting for who knows who, some said he waited for his girlfriend every day, oh, how romantic, right?

   Then there was news that he was flirting with Phii Thanmild, but not long after, Phii Thanmild started dating Phii Hill’s friend instead. It seems like Phii Thanmild actually knew Phii Hill before I did.

   By the time I reached grade 10 and moved to the senior high section, I saw more of him. Sometimes at the sports center practicing basketball, sometimes football. How did I know? Well, his fans would scream so loudly that even the teachers had to go down to shoo them away because the noise was disturbing other classes.

   “Hey! Khun Ratchakit, can you stop practicing football during class time? I can’t teach with all this noise. Same goes for you a lot, are you here to study or what!?”

   That was from my Thai language teacher, Khun Chomkwarn, who hadn’t been teaching my class for ten minutes before the noise from the field next door drowned out her voice. She had lost her patience after several instances.    Everyone in my class was now crowding the corridor to see what our teacher would complain about this time. The middle-aged woman in her civil servant attire stood with her hands on her hips, clearly irritated. Phii Hill, in his gym kit, looking neat despite having played football under the sun, his shirt partly out of his shorts and his hair slightly disheveled.

   But looking like that probably didn’t hurt his popularity with the girls either.    “Oh, teacher, we’re supposed to be in P.E. class, how can we stop playing?” It wasn’t Phii Hill, but another friend standing nearby who chimed in.

   “Then keep it down.”

   “You have to tell Ratchakit’s fan club, teacher. We’ve already warned them once before, but they won’t listen.”

   “They don’t even listen when I have been warning them for a month. Those kids, brats, I guess I’ll have to call the disciplinary teacher for this.” Khun Chomkwarn seemed even more annoyed now.

   “What classroom do you teach, Teacher?”

   “Grade 4/7.”

   “Then I’ll handle it myself, I’m sorry.” Phii Hill spoke with a submissive tone, bowed to the teacher, and walked out.

   “Hey, how are you going to handle it, Hill? Last time you talked and got

nowhere.” The senior shouted after Phii Hill. Teacher Chomkwarn smiled slightly with satisfaction before returning to the classroom, making us all scramble back inside just in time.

   I didn’t know what Phii Hill meant by ‘handling it,’ but after that, on the same day and time, my Thai language class in the afternoon had no more loud noises from the field, nor any signs of Phii Hill.

   Suddenly, I found myself reminiscing about the past, not realizing when I had wandered to the activity area. Everyone seemed busier than when I had left. I walked in slowly, looking for Phii Meili.

“Nong Ter, squeal, the freshman is here, Napdao, the freshman is here!” Phii Meili’s eyes sparkled when she saw me, then she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the chaos.

What’s happening here?

Meili dragged me to a tent where the sound equipment was set up. I saw Phii Napdao sitting there holding her head. Upon hearing Phii Meili’s call, she quickly stood up and approached me.

“Nong Ter, is that you, Nong Ter?” Phii Napdao shook my hand, …uh. I was completely confused.

“Uh…what’s the matter?”

“Is this the kid that went with Doctor Hill?” Phii Napdao turned to ask Phii Meili.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Oh…I’m getting a bad feeling about this.

“And why did you come back alone? Where did Doctor Hill go?”

“Uh, Phii Hill said he was just going back to the condo for a bit.” I said truthfully.

“Oh, come on, he didn’t even tell us, and he’s supposed to lead the parade. I wanted to ask where he went.” Phii Napdao paused, “But look, it’s a big problem.” PhiiNapdao pointed to where several women were gathered, and told me to go look.

“Exactly, sigh, how’s the monkey doing, is it getting better?” Phii Napdao led me through the crowd to ask someone who was sitting slumped on the ground, surrounded by people.    Phii Thanmild was crying…

“Sniff…sniff, waaaah.” Phii Thanmild burst into tears and hugged another female senior who was sitting next to her, trying to comfort her. Everyone looked at her with concern.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered to Phii Meili who was standing behind.    “It’s Mild. After Dr. Hill and Nong Ter left, she started crying a lot, so we couldn’t start the rehearsal. They asked what was wrong, and she said nothing, which just made everyone worry even more.”    Oh…that’s not good…

   “It’s about Dr. Hill, who else…He’s disappeared, not knowing where he went. Look, Mild has cried so much her eyes are all red.” The senior standing nearby said to Phii Meili, “He’s so heartless, doesn’t he know how much Mild loves him?”    What’s happening?

   

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