SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 31: The End of My Rope
After our trip to Japan ended, of course, I felt a profound sense of regret. I really loved this trip. Whether it was the places, the people, the atmosphere, especially the person I went with, this trip not only allowed us to spend more time together but also created good memories for us. Although it’s a pity, since Phii Fah said he would take me traveling again, not just here, but to many other places as well.
It seems snow started falling after we returned. We celebrated New Year’s with my uncle and aunt. I was happy to celebrate with them; it was filled with simple warmth. My New Year didn’t start with loneliness like the previous years.
Just two days after the New Year’s celebration, the new semester began. I decided to drop out of university because I intended to take a gap year. I had wanted to drop out for a long time but never found the right chance, and now, with the new semester, I decided to do it. Of course, the one who complained the most was Ter, but he understood.
He was just complaining for the sake of it.
While I was studying for the entrance exam, it reminded me of the past when I was still determined to become a doctor. Because I wasn’t that good to begin with, each time I studied and tried to memorize the content, it was very difficult, and since it wasn’t for my own dream, it was even more torturous. But this time, thinking about taking the exam to study photography, I found much more motivation to study. Just thinking about being surrounded by friends who love photography. We would talk about cameras and go out to take photos often, definitely. Just the thought of it was fun.
I have about two months until the exam, I’ve covered all the material, and now I just need to practice with past papers. I’ve been doing well on the practice tests, and wherever I make mistakes, Phii Fah is there to help.
After coming back from Japan, Phii Fah told me to move in with him at his condo, and without waiting for my answer, he had my stuff moved there. Inside Phii Fah’s room, there are now my belongings too, including the plants I used to grow on the rooftop, which I had to ask the aunt from the dorm to take care of. Some were brought to the balcony of the room, and one corner of the room has become my favorite camera shelf. Phii Fah bought a new shelf so I could store my cameras more conveniently.
Another thing that makes me very happy right now is that people have been contacting me for photography jobs. I posted some photos on a page I created and asked everyone to share it, including Phii Hill, Phii Jo, and Phii Fah. My page is gaining more followers day by day. I’ve talked to Phii Fah about taking on photography jobs after the exam, and the contact I got recently is from a clothing store asking for promotional photos. It’s a good start.
“Why are you sitting there with such a big smile?” A familiar voice came from behind me as Phii Fah approached and gave my cheek a light kiss. When I turned, I saw him in his student uniform.
“I was just thinking about photography.”
“Did you get another job offer?”
“No,” I shook my head gently, “but I was thinking about the clothing store that contacted me the other day. I am excited to go shoot for them soon.”
“That’s good,” Phii Fah smiled warmly, “Phii Fah has to go to class now.”
“Okay, study hard, drive safely,” I said with a smile, but he seemed a bit troubled, which confused me, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” I replied. There’s no class for me, so I have to stay in the room, “Then I will go study outside.”
“Eh?”
“Let’s go read at the café, so when we go for dinner, you won’t have to drive back to pick me up.”
“Okay,” as he responded, I quickly got up, packed my things into my bag, changed into a t-shirt and jeans, and went outside with Phii Fah.
Initially, we planned to go to Phii Gibb’s café, but when we checked, we found it was full. Not understanding why, we had no choice but to go to another café nearby.
“It seems North and Ter finished class earlier than Phii Fah. We could meet here,” I suggested.
“Sure,” I nodded in agreement before reaching out to open the car door, but the person in the driver’s seat pulled me in first. I let out a surprised yelp before being turned to face him and kissed gently on the lips. I opened my eyes wide in shock, the soft contact lingering before he pulled away.
“Uh, um,” I was confused and didn’t know what to do. Once I gathered my senses, I felt embarrassed, biting my own lip as I still felt that sensation, my heart started beating faster, guessing my face must be red, and it seemed like Phii Fah enjoyed seeing me flustered like this.
“Study hard, if anything comes up, call me, okay?” “Uh, okay,” I nodded slightly and quickly got out of the car, watching the luxurious white car drive away before walking into a café that wasn’t too crowded. I ordered what I wanted to eat and found a seat, arranging my books and study materials on the table. While about to start reading, I thought of North and Ter. I immediately picked up my phone and opened the chat with Ter.
Typhoon: I’m here.
Typhoon: Sends picture
Typhoon: The blue café, uh, behind the university.
Typhoon: Hurry up.
Typhoon: I’m lonely.
Easter: Alright, but I don’t know when the teacher will let us go.
Easter: Lonely, huh?
Easter: Ha!
Typhoon: Still not over being sulky.
Typhoon: Oh, oh.
Easter: Enough. Not talking.
Easter: I’ve gone to class.
Easter: Are you studying?
Easter: Good luck with your exam, kid.
Typhoon: Got it!
Typhoon: Study hard.
Easter: sends a sticker
I closed the chat with Ter and opened the chat with North instead.
Typhoon: I’m here.
Typhoon: sends a picture
Typhoon: At this sky-themed cafe, ah, behind the university.
Typhoon: Hurry up, I’m lonely.
North♣: Not going.
Typhoon: Come on.
Typhoon: Please.
Typhoon: Please, please, please.
North♣: Okay.
North♣: I finish in an hour.
North♣: If I go, I need a blended green tea.
Typhoon: Okay.
Then I put away my phone, focusing on studying for a long while, until suddenly there was an incoming call. I saw it was Aunt Prae, which made me smile a little because we hadn’t talked in a long time.
“Okay,” I quickly answered the call and spoke into the phone.
(Hi, are you free?)
“I’m free, what’s up?”
(Are you near the university?)
“I’m here, why?”
(I’m coming to see you…uh, before I knew it, I was already on my way. I want to meet you for a bit, where are you, are you free to meet?)
“I’m at the café behind the university, the blue one.”
(Okay, I’ll come find you.)
“Okay,” and then I hung up. I didn’t imagine it; just from the tone of voice, I could tell the other person was upset. It wasn’t long before a small figure in white clothes walked into the café and sat down opposite me. The expression on Aunt Prae’s face now clearly indicated she was not doing well.
“Uh…so,” I wanted to ask, but didn’t know what to say. Aunt Prae looked very unwell, pale with swollen eyes as if she had just been crying heavily, “Aunt Prae…how are you doing, are you okay?” “…” Aunt Prae gently shook her head instead of answering, smiled, and waved to the waiter indicating she wasn’t ready to order anything,
“I’m sorry for coming so suddenly.”
“It’s fine, what’s going on?”
“Well…um,” she bit her lip hard and started to sob. She tried to hold back her tears. I quickly handed her a tissue, looking at her with concern and worry, “It’s just…uh, I’ve been a bit stressed during the
New Year.”
“Is…something wrong? You can tell me.”
“Phii Rati…uh.”
“Father?”
“Uh, he still won’t stop harassing me and the child. During this New Year, he’s been contacting me constantly, asking where we are, saying he wants to take the child back. When I refused to answer, he threatened to come find us.”
“…” I furrowed my brows, looking at the small figure trying to hold back tears until her shoulders shook. She looked so exhausted, which made me feel bad too, “He…won’t agree to the divorce, right?” “Yes, sniff…because I asked for a peaceful divorce, and he wouldn’t agree. If we’re going to divorce, it has to go to court,” Aunt Prae said with a trembling voice, trying to wipe her tears with a heartwrenching look. “Of course, the one to get custody of the child will definitely be him.”
“Why is that?”
“Probably because he’s more able to provide care.”
“Ah…” I nodded to show I understood, because at this point, my father is very stable financially; not only does he hold a high position, but he’s also about to have his own company.
I took the liberty to gently squeeze her small hand as a gesture of comfort.
I can’t help with anything…
“I…I don’t want Fai to live with him, sniff, sob,” she let the tears fall uncontrollably, as if she was exhausted and could no longer bear it.
“He threatened me…he’s scary, really scary.”
“What…what did he say?”
“He said, ‘Do you think I can’t find you? Do you think you can hide the child from me forever? It won’t be hard at all for him to bring both you and the child back to him’…sniff, why, why doesn’t he go find someone else, why does he have to keep coming after us?”
“…”
“…”
Why is my father so cruel to Aunt Prae like this?
I could only think that over and over while trying to comfort her. When they were together, my father never respected Aunt Prae’s feelings, cheating on her, and now when Aunt Prae wants to separate to start anew with her child, he still won’t let her go.
What does that man want…
How long will he continue to ruin other people’s lives?
“…Are you feeling better?” I asked with concern, seeing that she had started to stop crying. Aunt Prae forced a smile.
“Mm, sorry, I must have been really exhausted,” she sighed deeply.
“Sorry for making you feel bad too.”
“It’s okay,” I shook my head slightly.
“I just wanted someone to listen to me, but no one understands me. My relatives keep telling me to go back to Phii Rati, and no one understands how much he has hurt me.”
“I’ll listen to you, Aunt Prae.”
“…Thank you, why are you such a good kid?” Aunt Prae said with a smile, reaching up to gently stroke my head, “Are you doing well?”
“Yes, I’m doing well, and how about Fai?”
“She’s very stubborn,” Aunt Prae said with a smile, her eyes showing signs of exhaustion, “It’s really tiring being a single mom, much harder than I thought.”
“Aunt Praeyou can do it, and so can Fai. She’ll grow up to be a very strong child.”
“If I were as kind as you, that would be great. I wish Fai could be like you.”
“…Thank you,” I said, smiling shyly, and then we talked about various things, catching up since we hadn’t seen each other for a while. Although we chat on LINE sometimes, it’s not that often. I learned that Aunt Prae has moved back here; originally from Chiang Mai, she’s now living with family, where her grandmother helps look after Fai when Aunt Prae goes to work. She even invited me to visit when I have time.
Aunt Prae also asked about my studies. I told her the truth, including about my part-time job as a photographer.
“And…with Phii Rati, how is it going?” Aunt Prae asked with a troubled expression.
“Uh…I haven’t talked to my father in a long time, but I keep in touch with Uncle-Kong. He’s the one who sends money.” “Oh…do you think…could you talk to Phii Rati about me?”
“…”
“I’m just asking, but if you can’t, that’s fine. I just want to try different approaches to see if there’s anything that can help.” “I doubt it would work,” I said honestly. Of course, if I could help, I would want to, “If I talk about this, it would just make him angrier, especially if he finds out I’ve been talking to you Aunt Prae. I…am not important enough for him to listen.”
“Sorry, I’m really sorry for bringing it up like that.”
“It’s okay,” I said, “But…we should try to do something because it seems he’s serious about this.”
“…”
“He’s angry and will act on it. He’ll definitely take Fai,” I said, furrowing my brows with a serious expression. I know how scary my father can be when he’s angry, and now that he has everything in his hands, my words made Aunt Prae look even paler. “What should we do…does Fai have to live with him?”
“I don’t want that, but I don’t know what to do,” I said, biting my lip tightly, trying to think but coming up with nothing, and at times like this, I thought of Phii Fah.
Maybe I should consult Phii Fah…would that be okay?
But…
If I tell Phii Fah, I’d have to reveal the truth that I am just an illegitimate child, and I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t say anything to protect my father. But if I do nothing, my only sister, a child who knows nothing about this, would have to live with that man, potentially experiencing the same things I did. Should a child go through that?
“…I’ll try to do something.”
“…Oh, what?”
“I’ll try…but I’m not sure if it will be okay.”
“Sniff, Phoon, thank you, I really appreciate it,” Aunt Prae quickly wiped her tears, then gave me a faint smile, exhaling with exhaustion. “Actually, just listening to me is more than enough. You don’t have to go through any trouble.”
“It’s okay,” I said, “Fai is my sister…”
Aunt Prae thanked me countless times, even though she didn’t know if I could help her at all. But in the midst of the darkness, just knowing there might be a light was the best thing. I’ve always thought Aunt Prae was a very strong woman, and I still stand by that. No matter how tough things get, she will go home to hug her child. We talked for a while longer and said goodbye. I walked her to her car and came back to sit where I was before. Now, my mind was full of thoughts about Aunt Prae and my father; studying further seemed impossible. I didn’t want to rationalize why my father would do such things, considering he’s been like this for so long. Aunt Prae has to work to raise her child alone, without the support she once had, and after all that exhaustion and despair, she has to deal with this too. I rubbed my face gently, feeling tense, while reconsidering everything, when suddenly my wrist was grabbed forcefully, startling me.
!!!
Dad!?
I looked at the newcomer, not understanding.
“Why are you here?!”
“Ouch!!” I cried out in shock when I was yanked so hard that my body flew with the force. The people in the café turned to look at us before my father dragged me outside. I tried to resist, but I couldn’t match his strength, “Dad!…it hurts, it hurts!”
Dad dragged me out of the café, stopping at a secluded alley next to it where no one was around. When he let go of my arm, my right wrist was red from his grip, and seeing his face full of anger made my heart sink.
No matter when,
When Dad is angry…it’s always terrifying for me.
From when I was a child…until now.
“…” My whole body trembled with fear before his thick hand swung down hard, slapping my face and sending me to the ground.
Smack!
“Ouch!” I screamed from the pain and the numbness spreading across my cheek, tears welling up in my eyes from the pain, then I smelled the scent of blood.
Blood from my nose…
I wiped my nosebleed quickly and tried to stand up.
“Why…why did you do that?!” I shouted back angrily.
“How do you know Prae! Ha, what did you tell her to make her not come back to me? You’ve really ruined my life, ever since you were born you’ve caused me nothing but trouble. I shouldn’t have let you be born in the first place!!” His words were full of rage, which made me both angry and heartbroken, my heart aching intensely.
Shouldn’t have let me be born, huh…
In the end, I cried because of those words.
“Then don’t have me born at all!! If you never loved or cared for me, why have I been born at all!!” I shouted back through my tears with a sobbing voice, feeling numb all over my body, as if I was about to collapse right there.
“Yeah. I wish you hadn’t been born! You’ve ruined everything for me!. I should never have gotten involved with your mother in the first place!” Dad’s voice shouted back, startling me. I bit my lip to stifle my sobs, the pain in my cheek and the trickling blood not stopping, which made me even more afraid of the man standing in front of me, “I never thought you’d ruin my life until the very end, with Prae and Fai, my daughter, you’ve done it too!! If I hadn’t followed Prae secretly, I would never have known, right?”
“Aunt Prae doesn’t want to deal with someone like you anymore; she wants to raise Fai by herself because you’re terrible, do you hear me!! Sniff…You’re such a pathetic man that she doesn’t want you touching her child…” I quickly raised my hands to protect myself when I saw the man in front of me raise his hand again, clenching my teeth in preparation for the punch that was coming.
“Oof!!” The sound of a heavy punch landed on the face, but not mine. I slowly lowered my hands and opened my eyes to look.
North!!
Why is North taking the punch for me!
I saw North turn his face away, probably because the punch was strong enough to make him stumble backward and he used one leg to brace himself. My father looked at us with slight confusion but before he could react, North retaliated with a punch of his own. “North!” I called out in shock when I saw my father stumble back from North’s punch. North didn’t heed my call at all, jumping at my father and landing another punch, the sound of it startlingly loud.
North was very angry…
I had never seen North this angry before.
“North, stop, stop for now,” I tried to lock his arm but was easily shrugged off. Why is he so strong!
“Why are you stopping me! this bastard was going to hit you!” Eh…bastard…?
“That’s enough!” I shouted loudly when I saw my father wiping blood from the corner of his mouth, ready to attack North again. I quickly positioned myself between them, spreading my arms wide. “Aren’t you ashamed of attacking a kid who can’t fight back like this?” “Can’t fight back?” The man behind me, whom I was shielding, spoke up, seemingly displeased with what I said.
“Have you fallen so low that you have to fight with a kid?”
“…” My father clenched his teeth in anger before lowering his hand. “Go back. Otherwise, I’ll scream for help, let everyone around here see what it’s like when an adult fights with a child,” I said breathlessly because my heart was racing. It seemed my father was still not satisfied, but he had to leave reluctantly.
“This isn’t over, you brat,” he pointed and cursed before turning to leave.
“Did you call my friend a brat?!” North started shouting, attempting to rush at my father again until I had to hold him back, “Get back here, you bastard! Can’t fight so you run away, you piece of shit!!” “North, North, calm down,” I tried my hardest to hold North back, but I couldn’t overpower him.
“You tell me to calm down?! Phoon, you, you bastard, who is that guy, and what the hell is he going to do to you, what’s going on, and now you’re crying, what happened, what did he do?” North spoke so fast I could barely keep up, indicating he was just as agitated, though I was glad he cared about me so much.
“That’s my dad.”
“…Huh?”
“The guy who just punched me is my dad.”
“What!!!” North shouted loudly, his face showing utmost shock, “Your dad? Huh? That bastard from earlier, I mean, that uncle from earlier is your dad?”
“Yeah,” I nodded slightly, and North’s expression turned blank, as if his previous anger had dissipated. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”
“It’s too late now, he’s gone.”
“I thought you were being attacked by someone, when I came to the café and didn’t see you, only your stuff, I thought something serious had happened, damn it,” North ran his hand over his face hard, letting out a big sigh, “Phoon, why didn’t you say something before?” “Would you have listened? You were just trying to punch him.” “Damn it, I also cursed at him, Phoon, I hit your dad. I didn’t hold back at all,” North said, wailing pitifully, “I hit him with full force, a direct punch from the shoulder.”
“I saw, his lip was busted.”
“Phoon, I’m sorry, don’t be mad at me, oh my god, what do I do, what do I do, I’ve never punched a friend’s dad in my life, what do I do, shit, do I need to go kneel or bring a garland to apologize or what, what do I do, do do do?” It seemed like North had lost his composure, completely flustered.
“Calm down, North, you were just defending me.”
“Yeah, if you had taken that punch instead, it would have been a disaster.”
“Was it that hard?” I furrowed my brows, asking about the punch my dad gave North.
“Wow, you didn’t hold back at all, this is your kid, man! A light smack would do, not trying to kill him like that,” North said seriously. I let out a slight sigh, knowing that when he’s angry, he never restrains himself.
“And you…are you okay?” I asked with concern.
“I’m fine, but, yeah, my lip is split,” North said, touching the corner of his mouth where a bit of blood was seeping out. “Damn it, you too, your nose won’t stop bleeding.” “Really?” I wiped my nose again.
“Damn, what should I tell Phii Jo? Can we say we fell?”
“Probably not,” I answered, shaking my head slightly, when I heard a familiar voice calling from a distance.
“North!! Phoon!!”
“Ter?” I turned towards the voice to see Ter running towards us with a panicked expression, immediately hugging us.
“Why are you guys bleeding? What happened? Phoon, why is your nose bleeding? North, why is your lip split? What’s going on?” Both North and I just hugged and comforted Ter, who was overly worried. And soon enough, the older guys, Phii Fah, Phii Hill, and Phii Jo, came running after.
Phii Fah’s face showed immediate shock when he saw my condition.
“Phoon!”
“Phii Fah.” Ter let go of me when he heard Phii Fah call my name, and I quickly ran into Phii Fah’s arms, letting myself cry without shame.
“Sniff…sob, Phii Fah,” I cried into him, and Phii Fah held me tightly. As soon as he embraced me, I felt a safety I’d never felt before. I cried because I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was scared, really scared when my father was angry, as if it was a fear embedded in me since childhood, so afraid that I couldn’t stop shaking. “It’s okay. It’s okay now,” he whispered softly, stroking my head in comfort. Just those words of comfort, strangely, calmed me down quickly. It took a while for me to regain my composure, then I looked up at him, and he gave me a gentle smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
“…No, it’s not your fault,” I said. Who could have expected something like this would happen…
Slowly, he released me from the hug. I just noticed that there were stains of my blood on Phii Fah’s shirt. Phii Fah gently touched my wound, and when he saw that the bleeding had stopped, he withdrew his hand, looking at me with utmost concern. I then turned to look around at the situation.
“Okay yet?” Phii Hill asked in a calm voice, but he wasn’t asking me; he was asking Phii Fah instead.
“Uh…” Phii Fah glanced at Phii Jo, who was looking at him with a scary look I’d never seen before, which made my hair stand on end. North also turned pale. I don’t know what happened while I was crying, but it definitely wasn’t good. It felt like the temperature around us dropped several degrees, the atmosphere was so tense I could barely handle it, why did it feel so oppressive?
Scary…
“Let’s talk,” Phii Jo said in a low, pressing voice, and Phii Fah nodded slightly.
“I’ll be right there, Phii Fah,” Phii Fah turned to me with the same gentle voice, stroking my head lightly, “Hill, take him back to the café to wait.”
“Uh.”
Before Phii Fah and Phii Jo went somewhere else to talk, Phii Hill led us back into the café.
“North,” I called out to North, who was sitting beside me, with a mix of courage and fear. He looked so downcast his ears drooped,
“What happened?”
“Phii Jo is angry…really, really angry, and I’m scared, I’m shaking,” North said in a soft voice, showing me his trembling hands, “Phii Hill, will anything happen?”
“What do you mean?” Phii Hill asked back.
“About what just happened, why hasn’t anyone asked what’s going on?” North said.
Oh…right, why hasn’t anyone asked what happened?
“We already know,” Phii Hill replied.
“Know…about…?” I deliberately left the last word out, feeling my heart beat faster. I didn’t know why.
“Phoon’s father, right?” Phii Hill said, and as soon as he spoke those words, my heart sank. Did Phii Fah already know…? “Jo is really mad that he hurt North, but let’s wait for him to talk with Fah first.” “Will…everything be okay?” I asked worriedly, afraid that Phii Jo might do something to my father in anger. But what Phii Hill said earlier about waiting for them to talk…does that mean Phii Fah will stop Phii Jo?
“It would get even worse.”
“Because I’ve never seen Fah this angry before.”
…
Tonfah
“Fah, you know what, I could have him killed right now.”
“Jo, can you calm down a bit?”
“Why should I calm down?”
“Calm down for my sake,” I said, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible, even though I was so angry inside that I could barely control myself. Seeing Phoon’s injuries, I admit I’ve never been this angry before. My tolerance for everything was shattered. When Jo saw my expression, he went silent, realizing I was just as furious as he was.
“At first, I was going to let you do it, but now it’s not going to happen,” Jo said, trying to calm himself down. He did calm down somewhat because if not, that man wouldn’t have driven off so peacefully.
“Understood,” I said.
“When will we deal with it?”
“Tomorrow.”
I took out my phone, looked through my contacts, and immediately made a call. It wasn’t long before the call was answered.
(Hello, how may I assist you?)
“I heard that Khun Rati is in Chiang Mai. Can you arrange for him to meet me at the office tomorrow at 1 p.m.?” (Sure, should I inform him of the reason?)
“Just tell him it’s urgent.”
(Alright.)
…
A man sat in a luxurious car driving at high speed, pressing the accelerator to vent his seething anger.
Nothing goes as planned!!
And then that damn kid shows up again!!
He was furious when he secretly followed Prae to the café and saw her talking to Typhoon. Without having to say it, he knew that kid must have persuaded Prae to stop dealing with him. Why? Because that kid only causes trouble for him! And his friend too, daring to attack him, him who is about to become the company chairman!? That kid doesn’t know his place, so it’s time someone taught him a lesson! No, teach them both a lesson, so they’ll learn what they should or shouldn’t do! So they’ll know who they shouldn’t mess with! Suddenly, his phone rang. He didn’t want to answer right now, but seeing that it was his chairman’s secretary calling, he had to control his irritation and speak politely into the phone. “Yes, Ms. Krawan, what can I do for you?”
(Khun Rati, are you available tomorrow?)
“Uh. No, I’m not. I have business in Chiang Mai.” (Someone wants to meet you at the Chiang Mai branch, tomorrow at 1:00 PM sharp. Please hurry, don’t be late, as they emphasized it’s urgent.)
“I don’t think I’ll be free, sorry.”
(You must go, this is an order, you have no right to refuse.)
“Is it a client?”
(No.)
“Then who is it?”
(The new company chairman.)
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