SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 28: Have A Nice Day

   I was quite worried as we were about to go to Phuket. I intended to bring Phii Fah to meet Fan, and the reason I felt uneasy was quite clear because I had once lied to Phii Fah about Fan, deceiving him that Fan was still alive, and even pretended to be her.

Moreover…aside from Phii Fah likely getting angry at me when he finds out the truth, what we’re about to encounter is sadness. I don’t know how much Phii Fah will be hurt, but it will definitely make him feel bad, knowing the truth about his childhood friend whom he thought was always doing well.

“Phii Fah.”

“Yes?”

“…Nothing.”

“Feeling uneasy?”

“How did you know?”

“You always just call me and then say it’s nothing.”

“Oh…well, you don’t even ask why we’re going back to Phuket.”

“Is it strange that I don’t ask?”

“Well…normally, you should ask, right?”

“Hmm…there aren’t many reasons, does it make you uneasy?” “Actually, I can’t make myself feel at ease,” I said in a soft voice, thinking about all the possible scenarios that might happen when we reach our destination, “Phii Fah will definitely be angry with Phoon.”

“…Oh, why?”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

“I won’t be angry with you,” said the person beside me as he gently patted my head, making me turn to look at him. That warm smile made me feel slightly better, but it was because Phii Fah still didn’t know what was going to happen.

“I don’t know, but…”

“But?”

“Phii Fah, you can be angry with me, I will apologize, but we…can’t we not break up?”

“We just started dating, why bring up breaking up?” Phii Fah said, lightly pinching my cheeks in annoyance. I pouted a little, “That’s not good, should I punish you?”

“Don’t do that, I.”

“Okay. I won’t.” And he ruffled my hair again. Since we started dating yesterday, I’ve learned that Phii Fah might indeed be as playful as the senior had warned, always pinching cheeks or ruffling hair, but not hard enough to hurt.

“But I mean it. We won’t break up, okay?”

“How can you worry about this?”

“I am serious.”

“Okay, there’s no way we would break up,” Phii Fah said firmly because I was afraid he might think I was just a dishonest kid, untrustworthy, and might even think he shouldn’t have dated me in the first place, “After all the trouble to get together, I won’t give up so easily.”

I didn’t reply, just turned my face away, slightly furrowing my brows to hide my embarrassment. It didn’t take long for us to arrive at the airport, wait for our flight, and then head to my hometown. While waiting to board, I secretly chatted with my friends a bit. They tried to reassure me that Phii Fah would understand because, at that time, I didn’t intend to deceive, and initially, I planned to tell the truth not long after but was stopped by my father.

Ter said that Phii Fah is reasonable, but what I fear is that we just started dating, and then he finds out about my past misbehavior; the impression would definitely go negative.

But regardless, I have to accept that I was wrong, apologize, and ask for a chance to make it right.

“Where are we going?”

“…” Phii Fah’s question made me pause because I had been lost in thought. I bit my lip slightly before answering, “Are you hungry? Do you want to stop for a meal first?”    “We just ate before leaving Chiang Mai.”

“Oh…right.” I nodded, forgetting that. I must still feel hungry because of the stress, maybe that’s why I didn’t eat much.

“Are we going to many places today, Phoon?”

“Well…maybe two places.”

“Hmm, should we rent a car? It would be more convenient, and since I haven’t been back in a long time, I want to drive around a bit,” Phii Fah said. I nodded in agreement before he went to arrange for a car rental. Truthfully, I was still surprised why Phii Fah didn’t ask any questions. Normally, if someone invites you to another province, you’d ask where you’re going, but even now, as Phii Fah went to rent the car, he still doesn’t know our destination.

I stepped into an unfamiliar car since it was a rental, and silence enveloped us as the car hadn’t moved from the parking spot yet.

“Phii Fah.”

“Yes?”

“We’re going…to the temple near my home.”

“Okay.”

Before the car moved out, the familiar sights along the road passed by. I looked up to see that today the sky here was very clear, and the weather was just right. Not too hot, which is how winter should feel.

Not like that sweltering day when I impersonated someone to meet Phii Fah.

The clear sky, I hope today will be as clear as the sky.    As I thought…Phii Fah didn’t ask why we needed to go to the temple, not until the car parked in the temple’s parking lot.

I stopped by the front shop to buy some things, two sets for making merit, including floral offerings for praying, and didn’t forget to buy flowers too.

We talked a little as we walked inside, mentioning how the temple hadn’t changed much since Phii Fah moved away. When we were kids, we often came here to make merit and feed the fish together.    After paying respects to the Buddha, I led Phii Fah out to the back.

“Won’t you ask why I am bringing you this way?”

“Hmm…this way…” The person beside me fell silent for a moment, glancing at the array of stupas housing ashes, but his expression wasn’t one of surprise, before I walked to a very familiar spot, standing in front of a white stupa with Fan’s picture and name on it.

“…”

I knelt down and placed a small bouquet of flowers in front of it.    In the silence, tears slowly fell as I looked at the picture of the woman I missed the most, before Phii Fah gradually knelt beside me and gently wiped my tears.

   “It’s okay.”

“Hic, Phii Fah, I am sorry for lying, hic, Fan…Fan…” I tried to suppress my sobs.    “I know now.”

“…Eh,…you know?”

“Yes, I will explain later.”

“Hmm,” I sat still, letting Phii Fah gently wipe away the tears that stained my face, before he picked up the bouquet of flowers from my lap.

“Is this for me?” I nodded, and Phii Fah gave a slight smile, then turned to look at the picture of the young woman in front of us. His sharp features looked somber, his eyes full of sadness, “I’m sorry for never coming to see you, Fan.”

“…”

I looked at the person beside me with a feeling that choked up my chest.

   I felt so sad.

   His deep voice was calm and serene, before Phii Fah placed the bouquet next to where I had placed mine. He spoke a few more sentences, saying something like Fan doesn’t need to worry anymore because Phii Fah would take care of Phoon, telling Fan that we were now dating, and even declaring his love for me in front of Fan.

   “Phii Fah…how can you say that?”

“Why not? Can’t I tell Fan?”

“Even in front of Fan, you tease me,” I said, furrowing my brows.

“I’m not teasing, it’s more like a promise.”

“What kind of promise?”

“A promise to take the best care of you, so Fan doesn’t have to worry anymore,” Phii Fah said, once again gently patting my head. I didn’t know when, but my worries were slowly fading away.

We talked a little more before saying goodbye to Fan.

“We’re leaving now, Fan, we’ll come back to see you again,” I said, not taking my eyes off the picture, “I love you, always have,” I concluded with a declaration of love before standing up.    A gentle breeze blew through, amidst the relatively cool temperature, it was a breeze that made me feel warm both in body and heart, as if being embraced.

   ‘I love you too.’    “…”

‘Take care of each other well, both of you. No matter what happens, don’t let go of each other.’

   “Phii Fah, did you hear anything?”

“No, why?”

‘I probably don’t have to worry about you anymore, I’m going to leave for real now.’

   “…Leaving already? Does that mean you’ve been here with me all this time?”

“Phoon…” Phii Fah called out to me, looking confused, but I was more focused on trying to listen to the faint sound in my ear.

‘Yeah. I never left, but now I have to go. Take care of yourself.’

   “…Thank you, for everything.”

‘Thank you too.’

   And then the breeze around me stilled, a warm feeling spreading through my heart. Strangely, my tears didn’t flow. Just moments ago, I was sure I hadn’t imagined it or heard wrong, but now I felt a hollow in my heart.

   When she said she was leaving, it must mean what I heard, what I truly feared. Fan was worried about me, so she couldn’t leave, but now, with no worries, she must go as everything should be.

   “Phoon, are you okay? You mentioned a voice earlier?”

“Phii Fah, I heard Fan’s voice.”

“Huh?”

“Really, it came into my ear, saying she was leaving.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll tell you everything from the beginning,” I said, before we walked to sit on a nearby bench. I told Phii Fah everything about Fan, starting from the day she passed away, what had happened, including that the accident Fan was in was because of me, up to the letters I wrote to Fan, how often I missed her.

“Oh…”

“You might not believe it, but I really heard it.”

“Yes, I believe you.”

“Hmm, does that mean from now on, I won’t miss or seek Fan anymore?”

“If what you heard is true, then probably so, Fan really doesn’t have to worry anymore.”

“Yes, it’s good,” I said with a faint smile. Even though deep down I

felt a bit of heartache, holding Fan back wouldn’t be right, “But Phii

Fah…why aren’t you angry that I lied about Fan?”

“I already knew.”

“…Really?” I asked, stunned. Did Phii Fah know everything from the start?

   “Yes.”

“Since when?”

“Before the term started. I helped with the scholarship arrangements. you applied for a scholarship, right?”

“Oh, yes,” I nodded because I saw there was a good scholarship available, and my grades were just right, so I applied, “Um…is this about the scholarship asking us to write about our families?”

“Yes.” Phii Fah answered, “about the details of family members.” What Phii Fah said made me understand immediately because on that form, there was a section asking for family details. I checked the box indicating that there was a deceased family member, and in the additional details section, I wrote that my sister had passed away.    “But how could you help with the scholarship management?”

“It’s from Hill’s mother’s fund, for all medical-related faculties,” Phii

Fah explained. I nodded in understanding. I didn’t know it was from Hill’s mother’s fund.

“Oh…I didn’t think you already knew.”

“Are you angry that I didn’t tell you before?”

“No,” I shook my head, “I guessed you were waiting for me to tell you myself.”

“Yes.”

“Then…when you approached me at the term opening party, that was…” At that time, when Ter invited me to celebrate the start of the term, Phii Fah came later and spoke to me. I was still puzzled about why he suddenly addressed me.

“At first, when you disappeared, I was really angry.”    “…I’m sorry,” I interjected.

“I didn’t tell you to apologize at all,” Phii Fah raised his hand to pinch my cheek again. I started to get scared that my cheek would really bruise, “So I barely greeted you, but when I found out about Fan, I got worried and thought we should talk about it. Then I went over to greet you.”

“Oh, that’s how it was, thank you for worrying about me.”    “But at that time, you were just worried about me as a younger brother.”

“I won’t ask what’s happening now,” I frowned, thinking, if I ask what’s happening now? I’m sure to have Phii Fah teasing me until my heart flutters again.

“Do you understand now?”

“Of course, I won’t lie to you anymore.”

“Hmm, is that so, what a pity,” his tone didn’t sound like he was really sorry, instead, it was filled with cunning, as if he was thinking of something fun, “Are you going back yet?”

“Right, it’s lunchtime now,” I said, looking at my watch. We went out to eat at our old regular noodle shop.

“Oh, Tonfah, right? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other,” Aunt Porn, the shopkeeper, widened her eyes when she saw Phii Fah walking into the shop. Phii Fah nodded, smiled, and greeted with a wai.

“Wow, you’ve become so handsome that I thought you were a celebrity; I knew you had potential from the start,” Aunt Porn praised non-stop. The one being praised just smiled in acceptance, without any sign of embarrassment, probably because he’s been complimented like this countless times before.

“Typhoon, since you moved to university, you haven’t come back to eat at my shop, is it semester break now?” Finally, Aunt Porn acknowledged me, even though I was standing right next to Phii Fah, but she seemed not to notice me at first.

“Yes, it’s semester break. I’ve been so busy, I just got the chance to come back for a visit.”

“Oh, coming for New Year’s here?”

“No, just stopping by, I’ll be going back soon.”

“Oh, then why are you two together? Studying at the same university?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s good, good, it’s nice to have someone you know there, and have you ordered yet?”

“We’ve ordered,” I said, because I had ordered with the other brother earlier. We chatted a bit more before I went to sit at the table with Phii

Fah. While we were standing, I noticed that people were staring at Phii Fah quite a lot. It’s not really a big deal, but I’m not used to it.

“Aunt Porn is still in a good mood, unchanged.”

“Indeed,” I smiled in agreement. Seeing Aunt Porn made me think of Aunt Nuan, because Aunt Nuan used to bring me to this restaurant often. I still talk to Aunt Nuan regularly, we speak on the phone almost every day, but I haven’t told her about dating Phii Fah yet. I guess Aunt Nuan would be very surprised.

“Shall we go back home?”

“Uh…No, better not.”

“Hmm, okay.” Probably because he noticed my strange behavior, Phii Fah didn’t ask further when he asked about going home earlier. I accidentally made a bad face.

I don’t have a home to go back to anymore…

   What would happen if Phii Fah knew?

   About the house, my father, the fact that I’m just an illegitimate child.

   I thought about this and turned to look at the person sitting across from me, and he must have felt he was being watched because he looked back at me.

   “Will you be at home for New Year, Phii Fah?” I asked to start a conversation.

“Yes, every year I stay home, we celebrate a bit. Or do you want to go somewhere?”

“Hmm…I’m not sure, actually, staying with uncle and aunt would be nice, and besides, it’s crowded during the holidays,” I said, just before the ordered noodles were served. “What about your other friends, Phii

Fah?”

“They’re with their partners.”

“Oh, and what about Phii Arthit, is he with his partner too?”    “Arthit doesn’t have a partner,” said Phii Fah. “He’s probably left the country by now; I haven’t been able to contact him since he finished his exams.”

“Oh, does Phii Arthit like to travel? I’ve noticed he’s often gone.”

“Yes.”

“And why does he study medicine when it’s so hard to skip classes?”

“I don’t know, but I guess he must have his reasons.”

After that, we continued our journey to other places, driving around the city which brought back memories of the past, the places we used to visit together, the spot where I once got lost and Phii Fah found me, and we ended up watching the sunset by the sea, where the sun was about to disappear from the sky.

I had booked a flight for around half past ten at night, which would get me back to Chiang Mai late, and tomorrow we would go to Phii Fah’s house.

Walking along the beach made me think of the time before I moved to Chiang Mai, the last day before I was about to board the plane. I walked around here to capture the atmosphere, the difference being that back then I was about to go see Phii Fah, but now he’s here with me.

I raised my camera and snapped a series of shots of Ter while he was distracted, taking candid photos without him knowing, before Phii Fah turned around and smiled at the camera. I then frowned and lowered the camera.

“Do you know?”

“Why wouldn’t I know?”

“And you’re teasing me, huh?”

“Teasing what?” Phii Fah said with a smile. His black hair, not set with the blowing wind, and the deep red light from the setting sun made the atmosphere so beautiful that I wanted to capture every angle and pose of him.

“Enchanting,” this word isn’t an exaggeration at all.

“It feels like I’ve become your model, you only take photos of me like this.”

“Sorry. Don’t you want me to take photos?”

“Honestly, I don’t like it that much, but you are a special case.”    I smiled before moving to another angle to continue taking photos, thinking that many times Phii Fah has let me take his picture. Does that mean every time is a special case?

Then we held hands and walked slowly along the beach until we reached a wooden swing hanging from a large tree, a spot where we often played together when we were kids.

“Want to sit?” Phii Fah asked. I nodded in response. We sat on that wooden swing together, watching the sun disappear over the horizon. The sound of the waves and the sea breeze came to the shore, one of my hands gripping the thick rope tightly, the other hand holding his strong hand just as firmly.

“I can’t believe it,” I murmured, the other turned his gaze from the horizon to look at me, “We’re really dating.”    “Why can’t you believe it?”

“It seems quite unlikely, in my opinion.”

“Not at all,” said Phii Fah, before letting go of the hands that were clasped together, reaching out to hug my shoulder and gently pulling me closer. Since we were already sitting close, it ended up with Phii Fah pulling me into an embrace instead. “It’s not an unreachable sky.”    “But you are my sky,” I said, but then I remembered what Phii Fah had once said, that he didn’t want to be anyone’s sky. “Oh, but didn’t you say he didn’t want to be in the sky?”

“Yes. I don’t want to be.”

“…”

“Just be Tonfah for Typhoon.”

“…Oh, okay, be Tonfah for Typhoon then,” I echoed his words, my heart beating even faster.

“Yes, but I can be the sky for you too, I can be anything.”

“Really?”

“Really, why wouldI lie to someone a little like you, huh?” he said in a soft, low voice before leaning down to kiss the side of my head. Suddenly, being kissed like that startled me, making me jump and almost fall off, but Phii Fah caught me just in time. “Be careful, or you’ll fall.”

“It won’t hurt if I fall. It’s just a swing.”

“But it’s high, and you haven’t even reached the ground.”

“Is I teasing Phoon about his height?”

“No. I’m just saying you’d fall like this.”

“Okay,” I agreed, before regaining my composure. I looked around; there were hardly any people around as usual, with some passersby glancing our way. I quickly averted my gaze, feeling embarrassed, spending some time here before we would head back to Chiang Mai.    “I forgot to think about meeting uncle and aunt,” I said once we got back to Phii Fah’s room. It was very late now. We agreed to go to Phii Fah’s house in the morning.

“Why?”

“Well…I haven’t seen them in so long, but didn’t even go to greet them.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Phii Fah said, not particularly concerned, unlike me who started worrying again, afraid that I might seem too childish. Besides, if we were at home, we wouldn’t be able to tell them we’re dating. I don’t know if Uncle and Aunt would be okay with Phii Fah dating me. Maybe it’s better if we just go as siblings for now.    I sat on the bed waiting for Phii Fah to finish his shower after I had finished mine. Since I had some free time, I texted my friends, asking about their New Year’s plans. I found out that Daotok was working through the New Year. As for North and Ter, they were vacationing with their partners as expected, even going abroad. This time of year, visiting a country with snow would surely be beautiful, especially during Christmas.    “What are you looking at?”

“Huh?” I let out a small gasp when suddenly Phii Fah hugged me from behind, holding me tightly, and then kissed my cheek deeply.

Why does he always come at me like this without warning?

“What’s you looking at?”

“Uh…well,” I wasn’t used to sitting there while being hugged like this by Phii Fah, until he pulled me to lean against his chest. Phii Fah then sat back against the headboard.

Oh…my heart started beating harder again. When will I get used to this?

   “Christmas photos from abroad.”

“Do you want to go?” Phii Fah rested his chin on my shoulder, bringing our faces so close there was barely any space between us. I glanced at his handsome face before quickly looking away.    “I…I do want to go, I have never been abroad, seeing snow during

Christmas would be beautiful.”

“Then shall we go?”

“…but…”

“If you want to go, I will take you.”

“Don’t spoil me too much, or I’ll become a spoiled child.”

“It’s fine, I can spoil my boyfriend with anything.”    That’s how it is…

   Why does he make my heart beat so strongly like this…

   “Will…will it be okay, with Uncle and Aunt?”

“It’s okay that I didn’t travel in previous years because I didn’t know where to go. If I wanted to go, my parents would allow it.”

“Oh…is that so? But it seems quite sudden.”

“It’s okay.”

“Hmm…” I hesitated for a while, wondering what to do. I’ve never been abroad, and suddenly being told to go without prior planning like this…

“Are you hesitant?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Just tell me that you want to go, that’s enough. Don’t think too much about it.”

“…Okay,” I nodded in agreement. We talked about traveling during New Year for a bit longer. Not long after, I started feeling sleepy and gradually drifted off to sleep in Phii Fah’s embrace. Seeing this, he adjusted his position to lie down while I was dozing. I felt a gentle kiss on my lips.

“Sweet dreams, little one.”

We left the condo early in the morning to go back to Phii Fah’s house. It seemed that Phii Fah’s house wasn’t too far from the university; we arrived at our destination after a short drive. I looked up at the large house behind the fence, and soon someone came to open the gate for us. There was a small garden and a fountain at the front.

   When I got out of the car, I looked around and thought that the exterior decoration of this house was very beautiful. It was as big as Phii Fah’s old house in Phuket, but this one had more space.    I saw two uncles come to greet Phii Fah and help carry things, including my stuff. Even though we were meeting someone we already knew, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat nervous since it had been so long since I’d seen my uncles and aunts.

   Phii Fah reached out to hold my hand as we usually did when we were together, but I quickly let go when I realized we were at his house. When I did that inadvertently, I looked at Phii Fah apologetically.

   Oh…no, we’re at home now.

   Did Phii Fah forget? How could he hold my hand here?    The person next to me looked at me, puzzled, before he could say anything, another voice greeted us. We turned to look together.

   “You’ve arrived?”

“Yes,” Aunt Pa, dressed casually, walked in with a bright smile. She looked just the same as she did years ago when I last saw her. As soon as she turned to look at me, I quickly raised my hands in a wai.

“Phoon!”

“Hello, Aunt.”

“It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” Aunt immediately grabbed my hand, her excitement making me feel happy too.

“How have you been, are you well?”

“I’m well, and you?”

“I’m well, too.”

“Fah, why didn’t you tell me you were bringing Phoon?”

“I did tell you, Mom.”

“Oh, did you? So, what brings you here, on vacation?”

“Uh, no…actually, I study in Chiang Mai.”

“Oh, I see, have you just started or been studying for a while?”

“I’ve been studying for a while.”

“Why haven’t you come to greet me and your Uncle? I’ve missed you so much. we haven’t had the time to visit Rati,” Aunt said with a hint of regret in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized earnestly. How could I tell her that I wasn’t allowed to visit because my father forbade it?

   “You must be busy, it’s okay, come in,” Aunt said.

I used to love Aunt and Uncle so much because they were kind, kinder than my own parents. It might be bad to think that way, but it’s the truth. “So, are you here just to visit, or will you be staying with us?”

“I brought him to visit, and during New Year’s, I will take him sightseeing.”

“Oh, that’s nice, take him out, Fah should go sightseeing too,” Aunt said as we sat in the living room. “Where are you planning to go?”    “Perhaps abroad, but I’m not sure which country yet.”

“Hmm…we’ve decided quickly, it’s New Year and there are a lot of people.”

“And where’s dad?”

“He’s in his room; he still has to work on New Year’s.”

“And mom?”

“She has to work too, being a doctor, she hardly gets any rest. Fah, you have to work hard, son.”

“Yes.” If I remember correctly, Aunt runs a psychiatric clinic, she might close it for New Year, but at this time in mid-December, it’s probably not closed yet.

“I forgot to ask, what faculty are you studying in?”

“I’m studying veterinary medicine right now.”

“Oh, nice, and how’s your study going?”

“Well…” I gave a wry smile, thinking about how to answer, “It’s not going so well. I am about to switch majors.”

“Switch to what?”

“Something related to photography.”

“Oh, studying what you like is good. Keep it up, son. Both of you should go rest first, I’ll go clear up some documents. If you want something special to eat, just tell the housekeeper, Phoon.”    “Yes, thank you.” I smiled as the aunt got up to leave. Initially, I thought she might not agree with my decision to switch majors.    “We’ve prepared a room for you,” one of the housekeepers said to me after the aunt told us to rest. I followed the housekeeper, with Phii Fah walking alongside.

“If you need anything, just let us know. As for your room, we’ve cleaned it thoroughly.” She left after saying that. I looked at the spacious bedroom in front of me; my bag was next to the bed, probably placed there by someone earlier.    It seems I’ll be sleeping in the guest room tonight.

   “Where is Phii Fah’s room?”

“On the other side.”

“Oh…” I fell silent. Would I be able to sleep like this? Sleeping alone isn’t a big deal, but it feels strange here.

“He will sleep with me then,” Phii Fah said, and before I could respond, he had already picked up my bag and was leading me by the hand to the other side, stopping in front of what I guessed was Phii Fah’s room.

The person in front of me unlocked the door and entered. The bedroom was spacious, decorated luxuriously yet simply, and so clean that I almost didn’t dare step inside.

   “Is that okay?”

“What do you mean?” Phii Fah asked without looking back at me, then placed my bag down, sat on the bed, and pulled me onto his lap. I let out a small, surprised sound. “You haven’t paid for letting go of my hand yet.”

“Uh…well, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“…”

“If the reason isn’t good enough, I won’t let go.”

“Well, this is your family home, right? We can’t hold hands here.”

“Why not?”

“Phii Fah…” I turned to look at the person behind me, sensing from his tone that he might actually be upset. “What if someone sees?”

“Don’t you want others to know?”

“No, it’s just that I’m worried it might not look good.”

“Ah, afraid Mom and Dad won’t approve?”

“Well…something like that…Ah!” Suddenly, Phii Fah pushed me down onto the bed and pressed his lips against mine in a forceful kiss. I tried to push him away in shock, but to no avail; his unique scent immediately filled my senses as we got close. The kiss was more intense than anything he had done before.

“Ahh…uh,” I moaned involuntarily, our bodies touching and rubbing against each other. My shirt rode up as I struggled, and Phii Fah bit my lips harder when he saw I was resisting.

In the air-conditioned, silent room, with the curtains drawn to block out light, making it dimly lit, I closed my eyes tightly, breathing heavily. It was an intense sensation that left me feeling dizzy and overwhelmed.

   Until I gave in and responded to every touch, our tongues intertwining and creating embarrassing sounds, our kisses grew softer and slower, as if the person on top of me had also calmed down. Before Phii Fah slowly pulled away from the kiss. My lips immediately felt numb.

   “…Sorry,” Phii Fah whispered an apology with a slightly hoarse voice near my ear, which made me wince due to the tingling sensation that ran from my ear to my chest. “Does it hurt?”

“A little, are you mad, Phii Fah?”

“Yes, I am mad.”

“…Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t let go of my hand.” His deep voice sounded almost pleading, his warm breath brushing against my ear, his mischievous lips pressing kisses on my neck and moving back and forth. My heart, which had been pounding since the first moment we touched, kept beating hard until I felt a hollow in my lower stomach as our bodies rubbed against each other, including the lower parts, until I felt a little pain in my core.

Oh…this is bad, this is really bad.

“Yes…I won’t let go now, ohh.” I bit my lip to stifle a moan when a warm hand touched my stomach, my shirt having been lifted up, the hand slowly caressing all over. I began to tense up.

“I love you, Phoon,” he whispered softly near my ear, making my heart feel like it was floating far away.

“I love you too, Phii Fah.”

I responded with a declaration of love before we kissed again. Phii Fah lifted my shirt all the way up, slowly kissing down from my collarbone, leaving red marks on my chest. My mind started to go blank, an electric feeling spread through my body as the warm tip of his tongue teased my nipple.

“Ohh…uh, Phii Fah.”

Phii Fah slowly stopped all actions and moved back to lightly touch my lips again.

“I will tell my parents that we’re dating.”

“…Bu-but…”

“We are really dating now.”

“…Yes.”

Phii Fah reached out to gently stroke my cheek, as if cherishing it, his handsome face adorned with a sweet smile. At this close distance, it almost made me stop breathing.    “Good boy, I am losing his patience.”

“…”

“Hurry up, are you ready?”

Phii Fah said this before sitting up on the bed. I slowly got up too, breathing heavily, trying to regain my composure while not noticing that Phii Fah lifted my chin and kissed me gently, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

   I watched as the room’s owner walked over to open the curtains, letting light in. The view from here was quite nice. I went out to the balcony to admire the scenery. We talked for a while about telling Uncle and Aunt about our relationship. Phii Fah didn’t seem worried at all, which made me feel more at ease. I hoped they would understand.

   Phii Fah took me for a walk around the house. Today was almost uneventful; we watched TV in the living room, explored the garden, took some photos, and when evening came, Uncle and Aunt went out.

Later, we ate dinner together.

   “Typhoon, it’s been a while,” Uncle greeted me with the same kind demeanor as always. I quickly raised my hands in a wai to greet him and smiled.

“Hello.”

I sat next to Phii Fah and across from Uncle and Aunt. The atmosphere at the dinner table wasn’t tense; it was just me feeling a bit nervous, but Uncle and Aunt were as kind as ever.

“How’s Rati, is he well?”

“Uh, he’s well.”

“You haven’t kept in touch. You said you’d visit last time but didn’t,” Uncle said, and I could only give a dry smile. The conversation continued until…

“Oh, Fah, aren’t you going to find a daughter-in-law for me yet? I heard two of your friends have already got partners, right?” Aunt asked in a tone that wasn’t too serious, but it made me pause.

“Well, our child is too busy with studies.”

“Oh, right, I forgot about that. Or do you plan to find someone after you graduate?”

“Mom, Dad,” Phii Fah spoke up, drawing their immediate attention.

“Phoon and I are dating.”

“…Huh? Really?” Aunt quickly asked with a surprised look, as if she couldn’t believe it, turning to look at me. I gave a dry smile and nodded slowly, my hand gripping my knee tightly before feeling the warm hand reaching out to hold mine. I glanced at the person beside me; Phii Fah didn’t turn to look at me, but his face showed no concern at all.

   “Really? You’re not joking, right?” Uncle asked.

“Really, yes.”

“Oh, okay, I understand now. So, how did this come about? I’m okay with it because I’ve known Phoon since you were a kid. When did you guys start liking each other?”

“It’s a long story,” Phii Fah answered, looking at his father.

“Dad…are you okay with this?”

“Uh, oh, yeah, it’s okay, I understand. Did you think I would say anything about this kid?” Uncle replied. I immediately smiled broadly when I heard that sentence. “The world has changed, we’re not that old-fashioned. It’s even better that it’s someone we already know, so we don’t have to worry about Fah meeting someone bad.”    “Thank you,” I said with a happy smile.

“How long have you been dating?”

“Not long, just a few days ago, actually.”

“Wow, I thought you’d been dating for years without telling me,” Aunt said. “Since you’ve known each other for a long time, that’s good. Does Rati know yet?”    “Not yet,” I answered.

“Well, no need to rush, it’s such good news; we’ll talk about the dowry in advance,” Aunt said jokingly. I just smiled because I didn’t know how to respond. How could I tell my father about this? He certainly wouldn’t be as happy as Uncle and Aunt.

After that, Uncle and Aunt asked us in detail about what had happened. Phii Fah seemed to be teasing me, deliberately telling them about the letter. I couldn’t stop him because Uncle and Aunt also wanted to hear it. I got teased a lot.

   “That’s cute, sending letters. Back in our day, that’s how we courted each other,” Aunt said cheerfully, in contrast to me, who was blushing so much I didn’t know what to do.

“Embarrassed?” Phii Fah teased, gently pinching my cheek. Both people sitting across from us turned to look.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” Aunt said, surprised. “Seems like he really adores his junior, pinching cheeks, patting heads. I thought our son wouldn’t do such things anymore.”

“Indeed.”

“Will you sleep together tonight?” Aunt asked.

“I can’t sleep alone,” I replied.

“Okay. It’s not a problem. When you were kids, you often slept together,” Aunt said. After a while, we left the dinner table. When I got back to my room, I felt an indescribable sense of comfort. All the worries and discomfort I had felt, they were completely gone.

Whether it was about Fan or uncle and aunt.

During our earlier conversation, I also talked about Fan. Uncle and

Aunt had just found out too because they asked how Fan was doing, and I didn’t want to be a liar anymore. They expressed their condolences and said they would definitely visit Fan when they had the chance.

   I went out to the balcony to catch some fresh air, staring at the sky adorned with the moon’s soft glow and the few stars scattered around.

   “How are you feeling?”

“Hmm? I’m good, really good. Today has been a great day, from yesterday when we visited Fan to today when we came to see Uncle and Aunt. They’re still as kind as ever.”

“It’s good that you had a good day,” Phii Fah said, gently patting my head, his smile making me smile in return.

“Did you have a good day too?”

“A good day, yes, today and every day from now on.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I just feel that with you by my side, every day from now on will be a good day.”

“Then every day from now on I will be good too, just by having you around.”

“Then we’ll have good days forever, right?”

“Yes, it will be good days forever,” I said with a wide smile, turning to look at the person beside me, slowly reaching out to hold hands.

Yes…

   Just being like this together, it will be good days forever.

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