SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 27: And Then
“’Phoon.”
“Yes…”
“…”
“Oh, Phii Fah, that is cheating.”
“Cheating what?”
“I wasn’t prepared.”
“It’s fine.”
“Are you going to post it?”
“Can I?”
“Well…I suppose you can,” I said in a faint voice, turning to look at Phii Fah who was pressing something on his phone as we were about to leave. I was walking a bit ahead of Phii Fah because I was embarrassed, and then suddenly, Phii Fah called out and took a photo of me as I turned around, “Where are you posting it?”
“On IG.”
“Oh…” I fell silent, thinking about how Phii Fah’s Instagram has tens of thousands of followers, “Is that okay?” “Isn’t it okay to post photos when you’re dating?”
“…”
Why does he say that with such a cheerful smile, clearly teasing!
Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I took it out to see a notification from Instagram, finding that Phii Fah had followed my Instagram and tagged me in a photo. One was from behind when I was walking ahead, the other was when I turned around.
Because it was a genuine turn, not posed, it looked a bit awkward, with the caption, “And Then He Turned Around.” “Do you have my Instagram too?” I asked.
“Yes, I’ve been looking at it.”
“…You’ve been looking at it?”
“Yes.”
I was speechless. I didn’t think Phii Fah would have my Instagram account, the one I use to store sky photos. I don’t follow anyone except my four friends, and my followers are only those four friends too, so my following and followers count is four each. But now, Phii Fah has followed me, adding one more to that number.
The photo Phii Fah posted got likes and comments very quickly, but before I could read the comments, Phii Fah took my hand and led me away. I had no choice but to put my phone back in my pocket.
“Do you have any more errands?”
“Hmm? me? No.”
“Then, come with me tomorrow.”
“Yes?”
“I mean, you said you’d go to my hometown for New Year.”
“…?” I made a confused face, but the other person probably didn’t see it. Did I answer like that? I remember Phii Fah asked if I would go back home with him for New Year, but I hadn’t given an answer yet,
“But I haven’t decided yet.”
“Ter and Hill have already gone back home.”
“Oh…”
“North and Jo have left too.”
“…”
“Then, you have to go back with Phii Fah.”
“…Yes.” I reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go, but there was one issue – my father.
As we walked back the same way, there were still some people sitting around at the front. I could feel that many of them turned to look at us and then whispered to each other.
It was like with Ter and Phii Hill, or when North was with Phii Jo.
They had told me they often encountered this.
Oh…so now it’s no different.
We’re dating now, aren’t we…
I looked at our clasped hands, my heart beating a little faster, the warmth from his hand making me smile.
We reached the parking area. I got into the passenger seat, and soon after, the car started moving.
“Stay with me tonight.”
“Stay? Why?”
“Tomorrow, you’ll be going back home with me.”
“Uh…yes.”
“And I want to be with you.”
“…”
“I want to be with my boyfriend.”
Oh…dangerous, this is dangerous, Typhoon.
“Your face is red.”
“Well, it’s because of you, Phii Fah,” I inadvertently raised my voice a little, Phii Fah couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before I frowned and looked out the car window. Phii Fah had stopped at my dorm to help me pack. I asked again if it was okay for me to stay at his house for so long, but Phii Fah insisted that Uncle and Aunt would be happy to see me. So, I didn’t think too much about it, but the thought that really occupied my mind was about my father.
But I should ask for his permission first.
No, asking would only lead to being scolded.
…But what if my father finds out I’m dating Phii Fah, what would happen?
“Phii Fah.”
“Yes?” Phii Fah turned towards the sound of my call while he was looking at the cameras in my closet.
“Looking at the cameras?”
“Hmm, yes. I just noticed you have quite a collection now.” “Ha ha, I guess I’m sort of a camera enthusiast,” I said, laughing at my own camera obsession. I had to save up for months to get just one camera, but it was worth it for me.
“That’s good, you look happier with cameras than when studying,”
Phii Fah said with a smile, “Do what you love.”
“I was thinking about taking up photography gigs, I’ve planned it for a long time but haven’t started yet.”
“Hmm, why not?”
“I guess I don’t know how to start.”
“Hmm…” Phii Fah was silent for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, “I can probably help.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but I want a reward if it works out.”
I was now sure that I wasn’t imagining it; Phii Fah is truly cunning.
He doesn’t even try to hide it. Just his smile and the look in his eyes are clear enough. No, just his smile and the look in his eyes are enough to make decisions for me.
I packed my things into my bag, Phii Fah helped carry them, and then we walked back down.
“Phii Fah,” I called out again, remembering something important I had forgotten.
“Yes?” he responded while still looking at the road ahead.
“I…uh…”
“What’s wrong?”
“If, let’s say…there’s someone like…” How should I say this, or should I not say it? No. I have to say it, no matter what, because it’s a big deal, and I hope we’ll be together for a long time. No matter what, my father would find out we’re dating, “My father.”
“…Yes?”
“He’s like…I mean, it would look bad if I said it.”
“He doesn’t want us to date, does he?”
“…How did you know?”
“I guessed.”
“Oh.”
“And am I right?”
“Yes, well…something like that.” My heart trembled with fear, my hands slowly getting sweaty. I couldn’t hide my worried expression. Phii Fah must be wondering why my father wouldn’t want us to date, and the reason would lead to the fact that I’m an illegitimate child, which I promised my father I wouldn’t tell.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to continue if it’s troubling.”
“But…but…”
“I know.”
“…Really?”
“It will be fine.”
“…”
“Trust me, little one.”
Before his hand reached out to gently stroke my head, with such tenderness that all my unease miraculously disappeared. My tightly clenched hands relaxed, and the knot in my stomach loosened.
Yes…like it always is.
With Phii Fah by my side, it will be fine.
(And how did it go?)
“I didn’t tell him about my father.”
(As you promised your father.)
“Hmm, North.”
(What?)
“Do you think he’ll understand?”
(I don’t know, I’m not your father, how would I know?)
“Suppose it was your father.”
(Man, I’ve been drinking since I was three, if I had a father like that.) I couldn’t help but laugh at North’s words; talking to North always makes me feel better when I’m troubled.
“How would a three-year-old drink?”
(By stealing, of course.)
“Oh, you were really a naughty kid.”
(Hey, that thing about Phii Fah capturing a ghost in a photo isn’t cleared up yet, so does that mean there really is a ghost?)
“Damn, it’s me, you little devil.”
(Oh, it’s you?)
“Yeah, it’s me, not the ghost in the photo, you scoundrel.”
(Oh, I was chanting for so long, scared that the ghost would take
Phii Fah away.)
“Next time I see you, I’ll punch you.”
(You talk big, what do you want? I’m not messing around with you, gross.)
“North!” I accidentally shouted his name before turning back into the room, worried about disturbing Phii Fah since I stepped out to the balcony to talk to North. I saw Phii Fah sitting on the sofa, not looking over.
(So, how did it go, how did you become a couple?)
“I already told you, what more do you want?”
(Just, you know, the turnaround.)
“Sigh, stop teasing, I’m asking for advice about my dad.”
(How should I advise you? Should I ask my mom?)
“Last time, your mom was so angry.”
(Yeah, my mom was ready to slap you, little devil, she was furious.)
“It’s like seeing only your mom’s side.”
(She’s my mom, this family thinks positively, ready to add up, you little devil), North’s words made me laugh again, (Do you expect him to understand this much?)
“To be honest, I don’t expect anything from him anymore. Nothing at all.”
(That’s fair, I told you not drinking since you were three would be good for you.)
“I talked to Aunt Prae; she still hasn’t divorce him.” (Why|? Is he such a stubborn young dad?)
“Yeah, he’s about to open a new company too.”
(Shit, like he’ll be the chairman or something?)
“Hmm, life seems to be on the upswing, he’s really good. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come this far. He said if he has a stable business, he wants Aunt Prae to come back and live with him. He loves Fai, he wants his child back.”
(Doing it for Fai?)
“Hmm.”
(And what about you, is it true?)
“A little, but I’ve come to terms with it.”
(Sigh, so your father is getting rich then.)
“Seems like it, but he’s just about to start his company, it’s not official yet, he’s still working at the old job. He’ll need some time, lots of connections, then he’ll leave his old job.”
(Hmm, the plan to buy the company and fire him is out then.)
“What?”
(Actually, I was secretly thinking of asking Phii Jo to buy the company and fire your father if it really came to that, but it’s probably too simple. Even if he’s fired from your father’s job, there are other jobs. Plus, if he starts his own company, it won’t be for sale, he definitely won’t sell his shares.)
“Wow, you thought that far?”
(Just messing around with Ter. At least, buying a company isn’t a bad idea, you can make a profit from it, but nah, it would be too much trouble.)
“Yeah, I guess so, sigh, it’s better if we live our separate lives. I don’t want anything, if he’s happy with his life, that’s good.”
(He probably won’t bother with you anymore these days.)
“Right, but he’s busy with Fai and Aunt Prae, I feel sorry for Aunt Prae. It’s not easy being a single mother, working to earn money, carrying such a heavy burden on her shoulders, I don’t know how she doesn’t collapse.”
(In the end, it’s just her strength left.)
“Hmm, it’s all bad because of him.”
(One bad person affects so many others, let alone your mother, who knows where in the world she is. Really, your stepmother, Phii Fan’s mom, she’s quite pitiful too.)
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of him again.”
And then I talked to North for nearly ten minutes before hanging up. Initially, I was teased a lot, but eventually, it turned into a consultation, more like venting since it’s not a problem I can solve by myself. At least regarding my worries about my father, I felt a bit more at ease. Partly because Phii Fah said it was okay. No, mostly because of that.
“Finished talking?”
“Yes,” I answered before slumping down on the sofa next to him,
“Phii Fah.”
“Hmm?”
“I have something to say.”
“Yes?”
“Can we go to Phuket tomorrow?”
“Why?”
“We can go and come back, I want to take you to a place.”
“Okay,” he replied with a deep voice, Phii Fah showing no sign of curiosity at all. I swallowed hard.
On the day I’m brave enough to face all truths, no matter the outcome, I’m ready to accept it because I’ve decided to protect my father from looking bad in others’ eyes. I won’t tell anyone about being an illegitimate child, but it’s different with Fan.
Fan…
I am about to take Phii Fah to see Fan.
“Phoon, you seem worried, are you okay?”
“Oh, well…”
“Or is it because we’re dating, does it make you uncomfortable?”
“No!” I quickly said, “Not at all, how could I be uncomfortable, I…” “Calm down, I was just asking.” Phii Fah said with a tone that seemed affectionate. I couldn’t help but let out a big sigh, “Why did you turn around? At first, I thought that after turning around, I wouldn’t see anyone.”
“No, I have been there all along.”
“There?”
“I made a promise, from the day I walked out of this room, that I
wouldn’t go anywhere,” I said in a faint voice while lowering my head to hide my blushing cheeks. I was startled when suddenly, the other person pulled me into a hug, “Phii…what?”
“Come on, smart one, tell me why you say you’re annoyed with me,” his voice, full of mischief and playful, whispered in my ear, making me jump, trying to squirm away but failing. Seeing me struggle, Phii Fah made me sit straddling his lap instead.
Wait, how did I end up in this position!
No, no, too close, much too close.
Since I was sitting on his lap, Phii Fah had to look up at me a little.
Don’t look at me like that! I’m going to have a heart attack!
“Please…let go for now.”
“No, I want to see if you are lying to him.”
“Not lying, I am not lying anymore.”
“Hmm, really? Bad kids need to be punished,” Phii Fah leaned his face closer and whispered in my ear again, his deep, warm breath making me lean back slightly.
“But…I can’t say why I did that,” I said with a shaky voice, trying to explain, hoping Phii Fah would understand. I really couldn’t talk about moving away because it led back to the topic of my father.
“You have a reason but can’t say it?”
“Uh…yes, sorry, I’m really sorry.”
“I think we should change the apology into something else.” “What…oh,” before I could ask anything, my lips were sealed by his warm, soft ones. I slowly opened my mouth wider as the warm sensation invaded without permission, due to the position we were in, our bodies closer than ever. My eyes closed tightly, both hands clutching his shirt at the shoulders.
The hot tongue danced around as if searching, I kissed back hesitantly. The warm breath caressed my cheeks and ears, our tongues entwined, creating an embarrassing sound. I tilted my head slightly to adjust the angle for a deeper kiss, the rhythm heating up until my mind went completely blank.
“‘Uh…” I only managed to make a sound in my throat as I was kissed, every action so gentle and intoxicating, lightly biting my upper and lower lips when my heart started to work hard. I also felt a hollow in my stomach, not knowing how much time had passed, Phii Fah slowly pulled away from the kiss.
“Don’t look at me like that,” his voice was slightly hoarse. I felt my mind wasn’t fully back yet, unable to look at him clearly, before he leaned in again, lifting me slightly, kissing my neck, brushing his nose back and forth, before I felt a sharp pain.
“Ah…Phii Fah, wh-what are you doing?”
“Just marking my claim, I know you aren’t ready yet.”
“Uh…yeah, we just started dating.”
“Yes, I know, I will wait until you are ready.”
“…Okay,” I furrowed my brows slightly from the earlier action, raising my hand to touch the spot on my neck where I thought it would turn red, “Why little one?”
“Like a cat.”
“…?”
“You are small like a cat.”
“Oh…okay, little one then,” I mumbled in my throat before trying to shift off Phii Fah’s lap but was held back as before, “Uh.”
“No, be a good boy.”
“Phii Fah…” I said with a whining tone, where did he get such sweet but cunning words from? They were soothing, yet cunning at the same time.
And I was completely defeated by this man in every way.
“Do I think you have something to ask?” Phii Fah asked in a soft voice. I wasn’t imagining it, his voice was slightly hoarse after our kiss, before Phii Fah gently took my hand and lightly kissed it, touching it all over.
“Hey…don’t.”
“So good.”
“…Uh,” I let out a soft moan in my throat when Phii Fah started on my neck again, my heart was definitely going to explode.
“You smell good.”
“Uh, Phii Fah.”
“Yes?”
“Phii Fah, no.”
“Scared?”
“No, not that, I just can’t handle it,” I said, breathing heavily, “I really can’t.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t tease me anymore.”
“I’m not teasing, you really smell good.”
“…”
I furrowed my brows looking at him, Phii Fah gave me a slight smile. He seemed to enjoy seeing me so flustered, “Phoon will ask.”
“Yes?”
“Isn’t Phii Fah surprised that it’s me?”
“Not at all, actually…”
“…”
“Phii Fah, you knew it was me.”
“Huh!” I exclaimed in surprise, “How, when?”
“On my birthday, with the card you wrote.”
“Hey!” I almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “I didn’t write the letters wrong, really, I’m sure of it.”
“Yes, you didn’t write it wrong, but when someone writes in two styles every day, they inevitably mix. I just noticed it, that’s all.” “Huh! Noticed?” I looked surprised again, making Phii Fah chuckle slightly, “How could you notice? It shouldn’t have been that easy to spot.”
“‘You could tell, couldn’t you?”
“So…why, oh. Back then, I made you read the letter.”
“Yes. I was thinking then that the letter writer was so cute.”
“Phii Fah,” I called out to him, dragging out the sound, why is he so cunning? I’m not imagining things. I’m now a hundred and eight million percent sure! “Why are you so good at teasing?” “I just wanted you to be good at being cute, why not?”
“There you go, and then at the restaurant, and the video call, Phii
Fah, you…”
“Are you sulking?”
“No, I’m not sulking, but, hmph,” normally it would be sulk-worthy, but because it’s Phii Fah, I can’t sulk, “I won’t sulk, it’s because it’s you, Phii Fah.”
“That’s why it’s cute,” Phii Fah said with a smile before leaning in to give my cheek a big kiss, pressing his lips so much they almost disappeared into my cheek. Why is he like this? I never thought being in a relationship would be like this.
But…
It’s quite cute.
“So, what about me trying to disguise myself?”
“It didn’t work at all,” Phii Fah said, laughing, which made me feel embarrassed enough to want to bury myself, “I was still worried you might faint.”
“I won’t,” I said, making a face, “And why do you like the person from the letters?” “Hmm…well, everything.”
“…That’s an easy answer.”
“Everything, really, everything,” the person in front of me said while looking into my eyes with a firm gaze, making me feel like my heart stopped for a moment. I was stunned; if we keep looking at each other like this, will my heart stop forever?
“…Thank you for liking the person from the letters.”
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“At first, my friend said it looked old-fashioned.”
“It depends on who likes it, I guess.”
“With so many people sending letters to Phii Fah, why choose this one?”
“This letter was different from the others, it showed care, concern, sincerity, and never asked for anything in return, like it just wanted to give. Just wanting to take care, and it’s the kind I like.”
“What kind do you like?”
“Yes, you are really the type I like.” Before he leaned in to rest his head in the crook of my neck. I tensed my shoulders and neck a bit when I felt the tickling sensation.
“Uh, Phii, Phii Fah, I said no.”
“I really like you.”
That soft voice whispered in my ear again. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it, but every action Phii Fah made since we got back to the room seemed full of longing, desire, and need.
“Uh, yes, I know.”
“Phoon.”
“…Uh.” As soon as he whispered my name softly, the warm sensation caressed my ear, making me frown and tense my shoulders. He moved down to press his lips against my neck once more, as if what he did before wasn’t enough, he sucked harder to make the mark more prominent, trailing his lips down to my shoulder until my shirt was pulled aside, revealing my right shoulder completely. “Phii, Phii Fah,” embarrassed, I tried to pull my shirt back up but failed, letting out a slight yelp when it hurt more than before.
Bite?
“Ugh.”
“Does it hurt?”
“A little, did you bite me?”
“It’s my canine.”
“Are you a dog or what?” I said, pouting. It really stung a moment ago, but it wasn’t a full bite mark, just a red line. Before Phii Fah adjusted my shirt back to how it was.
“Dog, huh?”
“Just kidding, it’s a wolf.”
“Huh? Am I a wolf?”
“Yeah, really a wolf,” I said in a faint voice. Looking at it, he might actually look like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Okay, so I am a wolf.”
“…”
“I’ll bite this cat until it’s dead.”
“Phii Fah, no.”
“Just kidding, I didn’t do it hard earlier, did it really hurt?” I started to doubt this kind smile, the faint smile that barely hides the cunning within.
“Just a little,” I said. Phii Fah still hasn’t let me down from his lap. I’ve been sitting like this for a while now, but there’s no way I’ll get used to it, sitting straddling his lap like this, facing each other. My hands, not knowing where to go, it wouldn’t be good to place them down because it would be too close to his lower half, so I just rested them on both shoulders of the person in front of me.
“Phii Fah.”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing, I just can’t believe it.”
“What?”
“Will you disappear when I wake up tomorrow morning?” “No way,” Phii Fah said firmly, then tightened his embrace, bringing us closer together, “Phoon, you won’t disappear again, right?”
“Right. Of course not.”
After I took a bath and waited on the sofa for Phii Fah to finish his,
I sneakily checked his Instagram with over eighty thousand followers. The latest post, which was a picture of me, already had thousands of likes. Posting like this is almost like making an announcement, isn’t it?
Because he tagged me, people started following me too. At first, I wasn’t used to having followers, but when people started commenting that my photos were nice, it made me think that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to take up photography jobs. I’d have to show my work first though, so I thought about making another Instagram account just to showcase my work. Daotok does the same, using only one Instagram for professional photos, to show examples of what our work is like, so anyone interested can contact us.
I put down my phone when I saw Phii Fah coming out of the bathroom. We had dinner together and then went to bed to prepare for our journey the next day.
It seemed like it’s been a while since I last came here, so I wasn’t quite used to it, but everything was still the same. The sofa, the table, the cabinets, the household items, everything was almost in the same place, including the hanging chair that used to be my favorite spot.
“What about the blanket?”
“Hmm?”
“The blanket. Otherwise, I will be cold sleeping outside.”
“Sleep in the room then.”
“…?” I looked at him with confusion before realizing, “Oh, but it’s—
”
“It’s fine, I can sleep outside, but you have to sleep in the room.”
“No way, how can the host sleep outside?”
“Then let’s sleep together.”
“…”
“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t be stubborn anymore?” Phii Fah’s words made me get up and go to bed, after all. The bedroom of Phii Fah hasn’t changed much either; my last memory of this room was when I stayed up all night watching him sleep, crying quietly by myself on the floor, then disappearing with the light from Arthit. I remember it well. I sat there, promising myself to be the Dao, shining beside you. Even if I were just Dao, waiting for the light to reflect back, now…you might see me because the light you shine is too bright.
“Are you cold? Should I lower the AC?”
“Can you lower it a bit more?”
“Sure.”
Before I slowly lay down to sleep, as the lights in the room went out, silence enveloped us, making me tense up. Sleeping in the same bed with Phii Fah, oh my, what am I thinking?
“Ah!” I exclaimed when the other person pulled me into an embrace.
No way, how am I supposed to sleep like this!
“Um, Phii Fah, how am I supposed to sleep like this?”
“What if you escaped like last time?” His deep voice whispered, his nose touching the back of my neck before moving his nose and lips gently over my nape and back.
“Uh…” I tensed up and unintentionally moved my neck, but it seemed like that didn’t please Phii Fah much; he quickly pulled me closer and hugged me tighter.
This isn’t good at all, Typhoon, has anyone ever had a heart attack from this?
“You can sleep now.”
“Okay, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
And then, his warm breath came out in steady rhythms as if he had already fallen into a deep sleep. Earlier, while taking a shower, I noticed the red marks around his neck and shoulders. I’ve never teased Ter or North about it, but they often have similar marks around their necks too. I never thought I’d have them one day.
What’s with these guys! I thought, wondering how they could all be friends when Phii Fah is a wolf in sheep’s clothing!
But…I slowly turned back towards him, nestled into the warmth and sweet scent, looking up at his handsome face, even in sleep, unwilling to look away.
As if everything that happened today was just a lie, as if me being hugged by Phii Fah isn’t real at all.
“I love you so much, you know.”
“…”
“Do you know?”
“Huh?” Suddenly, the person in front of me slowly opened his eyes, looking at me with teasing eyes before revealing a faint smile, which left me at a loss. Weren’t you asleep? Phii Fah leaned in close and kissed my forehead gently, “I know now, and do you know that I love you just as much?”
“Oh…” Damn it. That was unexpected.
“Let’s sleep.”
“Okay.”
It didn’t take as long as I thought; I drifted off to sleep in the warm, comforting embrace that gave me both safety and peace of mind.
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