SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 24: So Glad
Tonfah
“Do you think Phoon will come to see you?”
“Yeah.”
“You sound so confident.”
“What do you think?” I asked back. Jo slightly raised his eyebrows at my expression before giving a slight grin.
“I knew it, Fah, you…” he exhaled softly, seeming quite pleased,
“You’ve set this up pretty well.”
“A little bit.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Just a little.”
Actually, I took Phoon to that restaurant partly because I wanted to tease him a bit, but the main reason was to create some hesitation in him. Phoon would realize that I’m not very confident about the relationship between myself and the letter writer, which would make him feel like he needs to do something. And while he’s hesitating, it’s a good time to get closer than before, reinforcing that I want us to meet once.
“And what do you think will happen next?”
“After the exams,” I said, stating my plan because this is exam season, Phoon might postpone to give himself time to decide, citing the exams as a reason.
“That’ll be a while.”
“Not that long,” I said, just about two weeks, “What do you think he’ll do?” I asked Jo, turning to look at Hill sitting next to him, while Arthit was slumped over the table asleep.
“Why ask when you already know, Fah?” Jo said, giving me a slightly disgusted look.
“I want to hear your opinions.”
“What if they don’t match yours?”
“Why wouldn’t they match?”
“We’re discussing,” Hill interjected, “North is confident that Phoon will come to you, but Ter will go along with what Phoon wants, maybe secretly siding with wanting him to come a bit, but I’m not sure about the other one.”
“The one named Daotok?” I asked.
“Yeah, I don’t know him well.”
“I think he should come,” Jo said, “Or else, that person might be the one who planned everything.”
“Hmm,” I nodded in agreement. I thought the same, “At first, the chances of success weren’t that high, but because of North, I became confident that Phoon would come.”
“Thank me then.”
“Why should I thank you?”
“Come on, I’m your friend.”
“Yeah, whenever your girlfriend does something good, you take all the credit,” Hill said, shaking his head slightly, “North is the type who charges straight at things. I think Phoon definitely had to come see you.”
“I think at first North probably wanted Phoon to come to you directly,” Jo said, “I doubt North would have succeeded in convincing
Phoon, so there must be something else.”
“Hmm…that’s probably the main reason for everything,” I said, truthfully, I think I already had an idea. Even if I wasn’t completely sure, I thought it must be the primary reason for how things turned out, starting from a year ago.
“Aren’t you going to investigate? In case there’s something more than what you think?”
“Phoon said he was glad I didn’t know,” I said, “So, I think I shouldn’t really investigate.”
“But has that problem eased up? Otherwise, Phoon wouldn’t have come to apologize to you.”
“It might have, or it might not,” I said, the only thing stopping me from finding out the whole truth is that Phoon doesn’t want me to know. It seems like if I knew, it would make everything worse, especially for how he feels because he seemed very scared that I would find out, “But if it’s like I think, it’s not a small problem at all.” “Ugh, how annoying,” Jo said, looking frustrated before leaning back in his chair.
“What are you going to do about it, Fah?” Hill asked.
“Well, if it’s really like what I think, Fan would want me to help, but most importantly, it depends on Phoon’s decision on how he wants to handle it.”
Because family matters are delicate, outsiders shouldn’t interfere. If it really is what I think, I will ultimately respect Phoon’s decision on what he wants me to do.
“If you can’t talk to Phoon’s father in the end, are you going to go through with it?”
“Hmm, I’ve prepared for that,” I said, looking at Jo, who then smirked in satisfaction, “But I hope I won’t have to do it.”
“If you do have to do it, you’ll definitely feel guilty.” I nodded.
“It’s fine, he’ll get used to it.”
“What kind of person is he, that you are saying something like ‘it’s fine, he’ll get used to it’?” Arthit, who had just woken up, raised his head to talk to Jo, “What are you guys talking about?”
“Oh, and you act like you know everything.”
“He said he felt guilty, which means he must have done something wrong,” Arthit said, leaning back in his chair, looking tired, “I told you not to talk to Jo too much, Hill didn’t stop you, what if Fah turns out like Jo?”
“Can you even say that?” Jo said, letting out a small laugh.
“So, what were you guys talking about?”
“Phoon’s problem,” I said, “I just guessed, but I might be wrong because I didn’t investigate anything.”
“You’re always right with your guesses,” Tit said, looking at me with an annoyed expression, “Just guessing but already preparing to solve the problem, you little devil.”
“I’m confident I guessed right; this method takes time, so I had to prepare beforehand. If it’s not right, then so be it. There’s no harm, and it’s even better that it’s not as bad as I thought.”
“Fah just analyzes crap from the information he knows,” Jo said,
“There’s no helping it. Didn’t even investigate a bit.”
“So, are you going to meet?”
“Yes.”
“Meeting through letters?”
“He was asleep when we were talking, but when he wakes up, he has so many questions,” Jo started to complain, “Knowing the story doesn’t help you at all.”
“And you, what benefit do you have?”
“Enough,” I interjected without much thought, our table would get chaotic if these two were awake at the same time; if one of them is asleep, the atmosphere becomes quiet instantly, “Arthit, you should go back to sleep.”
“Wow, you little devil, if it weren’t for you being Tonfah…” I let out a small laugh at Arthit’s words.
“Seriously, Fah, you use Jo well. He’s good at this kind of dirty work; he’s just about to get rich from it, damn.”
“Does the person who’s always asking me for money have the right to say that?” “I’m going back.”
“Bring flowers too.”
“How many?”
“A hundred percent.”
“Screw you, go pick up your dad, the flowers are blooming like a garden by now.”
“If you can’t return to Thailand next time, don’t call me, go die and let the piranhas eat you.”
“I’m just kidding, man, you take things too seriously.” “Asshole,” Jo said, shaking his head slightly, letting out a small laugh, “But seriously, Fah, I can do it for you.”
“It’s okay.”
“You’ve never done it, but I do it all the time. It’s not like it bothers me.”
“I’m not that good of a person, you know,” I said truthfully because I’m only nice to people who are nice to me. As friends, I’ve always been good to them, and since I’m quite patient, I rarely act badly towards anyone.
But people who behave badly don’t deserve good things, right?
“Gra…”
“Jo, are you cursing Fah?”
“Curse what, he said he’s not a good person, I just said I know.” I subtly heard a sigh from Hill, who was sitting next to me. Hill is as patient as I am. If it weren’t for us, no one would put up with Jo and Arthit.
“And what do you mean by you know?”
“If he were that good, why would he hang out with you?”
“Yeah, hey, but why does it feel like you’re insulting me?”
“You’re imagining it.”
“You too, so are you saying we’re all assholes?”
“No, the only asshole here is you, don’t overthink it.”
“Okay, I feel a bit better now.”
Sigh…I didn’t want to sigh, but I really couldn’t help it.
“Back to the previous topic?” Suddenly, Hill, who had been quiet for a while, interjected, which was good to stop these two, “What will you do if you meet after the exams?”
“Probably meet somewhere not too crowded, because I think Phoon wouldn’t meet me directly.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I can’t explain it either, but I feel like it will be like that.”
I want to know too…if the little one wants to see me as much as I want to see him.
“Fah, do you realize you smile as cunningly as Jo?”
“Really?” I said with a slight tone of surprise, looking at the person next to me.
“Fah is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, don’t you know that?” Jo said, looking at me with the cunning look he often has, “Someone must have awakened something in my friend.”
“When you encounter too much cuteness, you can’t help it either.”
…
Typhoon
I stood in the middle of the room, locking eyes with North, who was sitting on the chair, his eyes full of mischief looking at me. I’ve never felt this urge to pinch someone’s eyelids before.
“Typhoon, you’re so foolish.”
“What should I do then?”
“Just meet directly, what’s the problem?”
“I’m not brave enough.”
“Wow, Phii Fah doesn’t know,” North dragged out his voice in an annoying way. I turned to look at Ter and Daotok who were sitting on the bed. Right now, we’re all in my room discussing…what to do. I want to go, I want to meet him, but I’m not sure if Phii Fah would be okay if he found out it was me, plus I’m embarrassed…because Phii Fah said he loves me!
What Phii Fah said to me when we had dinner together, that he wasn’t sure about something, and the message in the latest letter saying, “If I don’t meet you, I’ll surely go crazy,” that…kept me up almost the entire night.
And my instincts told me that this guy is very dangerous to my heart. If we really have to meet. Of course, I wouldn’t dare to go meet him face-to-face. There’s no way I could do it, so today we all put our heads together to figure out what to do.
North urged me to go meet him directly; if it were him, he could do it, but it’s me! Where would I get that courage from?
“If Phii Fah finds out it’s me and he’s not okay with it,” I said in a faint voice, dropping down onto the bed, this being the main reason for my worry. Just imagine me walking up to him, and Phii Fah looks disappointed…how should I feel at that moment?
“You’re overthinking, just go, come on, it’s better than your disguise plan.”
“Meeting him directly as a cat isn’t an option,” Daotok argued. If I have to go, I don’t want to meet him face-to-face. So, we thought of going but in disguise, meaning Phii Fah shouldn’t know who it is, just meet and leave.
But it would look so weird…just imagining it is strange. I looked at the mask, glasses, and hat that were piled next to the bed.
“If he doesn’t know it’s you, he’d be blind as a bat.”
“Look, you,” I dragged out the word at North, “What should I do, or should I not go?”
“You have to go,” North said firmly, “Try putting on your disguise gear.” I reached for the items and put them all on: the mask, glasses, and hat.
“Hmm…” Ter stood back to take a good look at me, “Hmm, it’s…hard to tell, but how should I put it, it’s okay, North, come look from this angle.” North stood beside Ter.
“Should you add a fake mustache?”
“Oh, that’s terrible,” Daotok said, “Seriously, if you walk around like this on the street, no one would recognize you as a cat.” “Really?” North widened his eyes as if he didn’t want to believe it, like he really wanted to pinch his eyelids, so annoying, “It’s Phii Fah, you bastard, are you underestimating him?”
“North, you jerk,” I cursed and hit him with a pillow, “Seriously, he might guess it’s me, but it’s not that certain.” I said, standing up to look in the mirror.
“Wear a hoodie, pull the hat down low so he can’t see your eyes,” Ter suggested, “Take off the glasses so you can pull the hat down lower.”
“Hmm, that should be good,” I said, walking to the closet to find a long-sleeved hoodie, then putting it on to see how it looks. I’ve seen Korean artists dress like this at airports often; sometimes even fans can’t recognize them.
“Yeah, this one’s good,” North said, rubbing his chin, “If you faint in front of Phii Fah, I’ll laugh at you.”
“I won’t faint, I’m fine,” I said, “I was thinking of meeting after the exams. Do you guys think that’s good? That way, there’ll be time, and we can use the exam as an excuse.”
“Yeah, that’s good,” Daotok nodded slightly, “Where are you planning to meet?”
“Hmm…somewhere with not many people would be good. If I dress like this, people will definitely be suspicious.”
“But you can’t talk to Phii Tonfah, right?” Daotok said, “Because he might recognize your voice.”
“Oh…right, then I’ll have to bring a notebook to write for Phii Fah to read.”
“It’s really just a meeting where you can only meet, huh, oh, Phii Fah,” North said, shaking his head slightly, “Don’t forget, no matter what, in the end, Phii Fah will find out.”
“Yeah,” I nodded to North’s words. Why wouldn’t I know that?
“But…how do I put it, it’s because it’s the first time meeting as the person from the letters, so I want it to be like this first. Once we meet, we’ll see how it goes.” “Like testing the waters, huh?”
“Yeah, something like that. If we meet and Phii Fah isn’t okay with it, then it won’t hurt as much.” “Whatever, you’ll still get hurt.”
“Better than Phii Fah finding out it’s me and not being okay with me from the start, right?” I said, thinking about my initial decision not to meet directly. At least, with the first meeting, even if he doesn’t know who I am yet, we’ll get a sense of whether he’s okay with me or not. If I meet him directly from the start and Phii Fah isn’t okay with it, after we’ve finally reconciled as brothers, not being able to look each other in the eye would be terrible.
“I’m just worried about doing something wrong,” I said with a concerned tone.
“Like what? Burping in front of him?”
“No, North, I won’t burp,” I made a face, “Like doing something bad.”
“Worried you won’t be able to continue, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Sigh, if this doesn’t work, we’re out of ideas,” North let out a big sigh, flopping back onto the bed, “It’s taken forever, each step of development, it’s nerve-wracking.”
“Have you written back to Phii Tonfah yet?” Daotok asked. I shook my head.
“Not yet. I don’t know how to reply.”
“It’ll be like last time if you disappear again,” Ter said. I nodded, remembering how last time I disappeared because Cupid got hit by a car, “Just tell him you’ll meet, but with some conditions.” “Hmm…okay, if I also say that, suppose when we meet, Phii Fah finds out who it is, can I ask him not to say anything? At least, if he’s not okay with it, I’d like him to try to act normal while we’re together.”
“Yeah, tell him your conditions,” North said, “No matter what, the one who’s dying to meet you now is Phii Fah. He’ll agree to anything you say.” “North!”
“Ouch! You hit me again!”
…
Tonfah
Thank you for wanting to meet me. I want to meet you too. It might seem like I’m making a big deal out of this, but I have about five conditions. Sorry if this makes you feel bad, but I’m not very comfortable myself. Thank you for understanding. I’ll be wearing something quite unusual when we meet, please don’t mind.
I don’t want you to try to figure out who I am, but I want you to see what I do. Whether our first meeting is okay for you or not, I’ll accept the outcome.
If you find out who I am, I’d like you to act normal, pretend you don’t know.
I’ll communicate by writing messages on paper, but you can speak because I want to hear your voice.
Let’s meet in the evening at a place where there aren’t many people.
If my conditions seem too much, you can tell me.
Also, I’d like to meet after the exams because I have a lot of tests right now.
“How is it?”
“Just as I thought,” I said, putting the letter back into the paper bag. I knew it had to be this way; Phoon won’t meet me directly but will come in a way that tries to keep his identity hidden.
“Because Phoon himself isn’t confident, probably afraid that I won’t be okay if I find out it’s him. But if I were to tell him directly that I already know, that might make things even worse, because Phoon wrote in the letter that even if I know, he wants me to act normally. I need to build up his confidence without letting him know that I’ve already figured out who he is.
Hmm…
“Meeting after the exams, right?” Hill asked. I turned and nodded in response, “The place, it has to be somewhat private, doesn’t it?”
“There are some places like that.”
…
Typhoon
“Drive carefully. I haven’t finished paying it off yet,” Daotok said.
Right now, I was sitting on the back of Dao’s motorcycle, which North was driving.
Why, just by going to see Phii Fah…
My hands are so cold.
My heart is beating irregularly; I’m trying to breathe deeply to keep my composure, but it’s hard every time. Phii Fah sent a letter with the date, time, and location. We’ve all finished our finals now. The meeting place is a restaurant quite far from the city center, and reviews say the view from the second floor is beautiful because there’s a balcony extending out.
“Phii Fah sure knows how to choose a meeting place, damn, it’s so far, almost to Ayutthaya.”
“North, you’re exaggerating, just focus on driving,” I said. Initially, I thought about taking a taxi, but they said they were worried I’d get lost, so they had North drive me.
“It feels like there’s a psycho riding behind, I’m not comfortable at all.”
“Just wearing a mask, hat, and hoodie, what’s so strange about that?”
“Ask where isn’t strange instead. Just a glance and people would be suspicious.”
“You little devil, the whole restaurant will definitely look at me.”
“Don’t trip and fall, revealing your hat.”
“Not that clumsy.”
“Oh, really?” And North kept talking all the way to keep me from being nervous; it helped a bit, but once we got to the restaurant, there won’t be North to help.
I’m going to meet Phii Fah…for the first time as the person from the letters.
Damn it…I’m so excited my heart feels like it’s about to jump out, my mind is racing with a thousand thoughts, what if I trip and fall, what if they don’t let me wear the hat, what if people stare, what if the place is crowded, what if Phii Fah isn’t okay with this, my mind can’t stop thinking about these things.
“We’re here.”
“So fast!” I said in surprise, lost in my thoughts, and before I knew it, we had arrived. North parked on the side of the shop where no one could see, it’s really quite far from the city center, and with Arthit setting at dusk like this, they turned on soft lights, making the atmosphere beautiful. “Wow, there’s no one here.”
“Yeah, exactly,” I agreed, this kind of place should have lots of people, but why isn’t there a soul in sight? I looked inside, seeing only one employee waiting at the counter. Initially, Phii Fah said he would come pick me up so we could go together, but I absolutely refused, we had to meet at the shop. “What about the way back?”
“I can call for a ride.”
“Okay, I need to hurry back.”
“…North, don’t go yet.”
“Oh, Phoon, what are you scared of now?”
“I’m not scared now, I’ve been scared for a long time, I didn’t sleep at all last night,” I reached out to grab North’s arm, making him jump and give me a look.
“Damn, you’re all sweaty and cold.”
“I’m sweating all over because of you.”
“Look at how you’re dressed.”
“What should I do? There’s nothing impressive about this.” “What can we do? Just go quickly, if you’re late, it’ll be even worse.”
“Hmm,” I exhaled a big sigh, slowly turning around and walking towards the shop. As I walked, I kept glancing back at North because I felt uneasy. North, sitting astride his motorcycle, looked back and gave me a thumbs-up before he rode off, leaving me to walk into the shop alone.
The first challenge was the employee…
“Will they be okay with a customer dressed strangely coming into the restaurant?
“Welcome, someone is waiting for you on the second floor.”
“…”
I didn’t reply, just walked up the stairs. While doing so, I paused halfway, pulling my mask, hat, and hoodie tighter. Really, just the hat covers my eyes; my current attire consists of a black bucket hat pulled down over my eyes, a black mask, a long-sleeved grey hoodie with the hood over the hat, jeans, and sneakers.
This isn’t the outfit one should wear in Thailand…
Well…it makes me feel a bit more at ease.
I walked up the stairs until I reached the second floor, finding that there was no one else there either, which made me realize something – Phii Fah must have reserved the whole restaurant…
The soft lighting spread throughout the area made me look around in awe before my gaze stopped on someone sitting in a large hanging chair on the balcony. Just from the back, I knew…
I clenched my lips tightly without realizing it, just staring at Phii Fah from behind.
I knew that once I stepped closer…our story would change forever. My trembling heart was filled with anxiety, but I still chose to walk towards him.
I slowly approached without letting Phii Fah hear or turn around, then sat down in the empty space next to the hanging chair. I didn’t look up, keeping my head down, my hands in my sleeves, tightly clasped together. There was no greeting between us. The silence lasted for about half a minute. I, with my head bowed, could see how close we were on the same hanging chair, just two hand-widths apart.
Before the deep voice from beside me spoke up:
“Thank you for coming to meet me.”
🙂
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