SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 16: Actually

   SOUTHBESIDETHESKY, Chapter 16: Actually

   “Why are you doing this?”

“…”

“Just because I’m your junior, you can do anything?”

“…Calm down.”

“How can I calm down? I’m human too, Phii. There’s no need to go this far.”

“Damn Jo, control your wife, he’s going berserk.”

“I told you he’s a hotheaded gamer.”

“Phii Arthit! I’m your junior, don’t you see me as your junior?”

“Yeah, you’re my junior, or do you want to be my wife?”

“Arthit!!.”

“Alright, Jo, can’t I even tease a little?”

“You did it on purpose.”

“I know, I’m determined.”

The scene in front of me is North and Phii Arthit playing a mobile game together. North is the kind of hot-headed gamer that Phii Jo described. I’ve never seen North get this angry over anything as much as when he’s playing games, and he’s very serious about it too.    But the cuter picture is North sitting on Phii Jo’s lap, which has become a familiar sight because these two are always like this, even before they started dating.

Ter is sitting next to Phii Hill, leaning on Phii Hill’s arm. As for me, I’m sitting next to Foam and directly across from Phii Fah…This kind of scenario happens often because my friends are dating his friends, but we don’t really look at each other or talk. I usually hang out with Foam more.

Phii Fah is focused on his work…beside him, there’s the box of chocolate milk I bought for him this morning. I couldn’t help but smile without realizing it; why does it feel so good? Just because Phii Fah is drinking the milk I bought for him. The stuff that Phii Fah sent back is in my bag. I haven’t even opened it to see what it is; I’ll open it when I get back to my room.

“Bro, when I pressed, it went in, why did you retreat?”

“Look at my health bar, we’d all be dead if I pushed forward.”

“Just admit you’re bad at this.”

“Bad my ass.”

“You’re really bad, Phii.”

“North.”

“What, Phii Arthit, what are you going to do about it?”

“Annoying, let’s do a one-on-one, you talk too much.”

“Come on then, you think I’m scared?”

“I think we’re getting too close.”

We all couldn’t help but laugh at the two guys getting heated over the game. I’ve rarely seen Phii Arthit like this, probably because I don’t talk to him much, but seeing him with North is pretty funny.

“I’m just kidding, bro, I still respect you.”

“You’ve already smeared my face with your foot.”

“Oh, you got it but didn’t say.”

“You’re such a little shit.”

They were talking while still laughing, truly entertaining, when

North and Phii Arthit played games together. It’s the same when North plays games with his engineering friends, but North says he doesn’t want to play games with us because he doesn’t want to swear accidentally, saying it feels inexplicably sinful.

   But why does Phii Arthit play games when Phii Fah is working?

   “Fah…where are you going?”

“To the bathroom for a bit,” Phii Fah answered Phii Hill after getting up from the table.

North looked away from his phone screen and glanced at Phii Fah.

“Phii Arthit, do you think Phii Fah is annoyed by us?”

“No.”

“But we’re being very loud. I forgot that Phii Fah is working.”

“It’s fine, Fah can study even at concerts, you can continue playing, the lane up top will get another kill.”

“Alright, how can we get a kill?”

At first, I was secretly worried that Phii Fah might be annoyed by me sitting at the table, but it’s been like this for nearly a year, so it’s probably fine. Besides…even if it might be a bit uncomfortable, I still want to see him, as I’ve said before.

“Arthit, what are you doing?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Fah might get mad,” Phii Hill warned when he saw Phii Arthit reaching for Phii Fah’s bag.

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Arthit.”

“It’s really fine.”

“Sigh, do whatever you want, I’ve tried to stop you,” Phii Hill sighed slightly. I looked at Phii Arthit, who was rummaging through Phii Fah’s bag with confusion, before understanding instantly when Phii Arthit pulled out the snacks I had just bought for Phii Fah in the morning.

   Wait…don’t tell me…

   “Hey,” North immediately protested after seeing such an audacious act, “Is that okay, bro?”

“He doesn’t mind. It’s normal.”

“Are you saying you normally steal stuff?”

“Makes me sound like a bad guy.”

“It’s not just looking like one, is it?” North said quietly, but everyone could still hear it.

“It won’t break, just messing around.”

“What?”

“Arthit,” Phii Fah’s voice came from behind. Phii Arthit was about to open the snack pack, and I was worried he might actually eat it, but

Phii Fah came back just in time, “What are you doing?”

“Just want a bite, I’m hungry.”

“No way.”

Phii Fah said, pulling the snack back, and Phii Arthit shrugged indifferently.

“You’re so stingy, it’s just snacks.”

“I warned you, you’ll definitely get scolded by Fah,” Phii Hill said.

“Are you mad at me, Fah? Over something like this?”

“Not mad,” Phii Fah said before sitting down and putting the snack back into his bag as it was before.

“See, I told you Fah isn’t mad.”

“But this term, I won’t do your work for you.”

“Phii Fah is really protective of your snacks, huh?”

“Foam, stop teasing, you’ve been teasing me since we came out.”

“It’s important stuff. Who said you can’t touch it?”

“Foam…”

“Yeah, yeah. No more teasing, I’m leaving now.”

“Drive safely, okay?”

“Okay, see you.”

“See you.”

I stood watching Foam as he dropped me off at my dorm, unable to help but smile broadly, trying to hold back my smile ever since we were at that place.

   Phii Fah…protects my snacks.

   I immediately ran up to my room and sat down at my desk, blushing alone. Good heavens…why is my heart beating so hard? Am I going to have a heart attack? My face feels all hot now.

   Without delay, I quickly opened my bag to pull out the bag Phii Fah had left for me and opened it right away. From the first time Phii Fah sent something back, we’ve been sending each other snacks and small notes for almost a month now, like being pen pals.

   Up to now, it was just regular snacks with notes saying something like “Enjoy your snack,” or “Have a good day,” just ordinary messages, but never ordinary to me.

   This time, it was a box of chocolate that I hadn’t seen before, which probably looked quite expensive.

   Along with a piece of paper that had the message:

   Is this chocolate sweet like you? 🙂

   “What’s this?”

“…”

“Look up, how can I talk to the back of your head?”

“Nong…”

“Your voice is trembling.”

“Nong, uh…”

“Damn you.” North’s laughter came through the video call on the screen after I saw Phii Fah’s message, which almost gave me a heart attack. It took me nearly ten minutes to regain my composure, and when I did, I immediately called someone, and North was the most recent chat.    “North, I’m like…”

“Yeah?”

“My hands are shaking, will my heart burst out?”

“Calm down, Phoon,” because I felt my face was very red, I kept my head down, covering my face with my hands all the time. When I looked up, I found North lying on the sofa, eating snacks comfortably,

“Maybe some chocolate will help?”

“I don’t want chocolate anymore,” I said in a muffled voice, “I won’t eat anyone else’s chocolate.”

“You only want Phii Fah’s chocolate then.”

“…come on.”

“Chocolate that’s as sweet as you, huh?”

“North! You never stop teasing me.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’ve been holding it in, haven’t teased anyone in a while.”

“Is that message like…flirting, or what?” I asked again, the person on the other side of the video call sighed in frustration.

“Yeah, you’ve asked a hundred times already.”

“It’s not just friends through letters or siblings anymore, right?”    “What do you want from me? Huh, are you happy that Phii Fah is flirting with you?”

“North…”

“See, when I tell you straight, you get embarrassed,” North said,

“I’ve got some chocolate, want some?”

I shook my head; he just keeps trying to give me chocolate, I can already guess he’ll be teased about chocolate by another Arthit.

“It’s just…North, it’s like…”

“I’ve never met anyone who gets embarrassed and can’t speak properly like you.”    “Don’t you get like that?”

“No, Ter doesn’t either, I think.”

“…really?” I buried my face into the fat cat plushie that Daotok bought for me about half a year ago, so much that the cat’s face was completely squished, “At first, I thought…we would just be pen pals, you know, talking like this is fine.”

“Are we the talking type?”

“Yeah. Not the aggressive type like you.”

“I told you to be more assertive, or else you’ll stay with the dogs, the bone isn’t just cat food for you alone.”

“Are you saying Phii Fah is a bone?”

“Am I comparing?” North said with annoyance again, “Don’t stay in your safe zone, or else you’ll be there for life.”

“I know, just give me some time.”

“But Phii Fah…”

“…has already stepped out of his safe zone before you,” North said, “Here you said you would pursue Phii Fah, but Phii Fah is clearly pursuing you.”

“…”

“What are you going to do now that he’s made the first move like this?”

“…”

I buried my face into the fat cat plushie even harder, blushing so much from what North said that I almost bit the fat cat’s ear off because I didn’t know what else to do with my embarrassment.

   “Calm down, man, you’re going to tear off Suphaporn’s ear.”

“I hate it, it’s not polite.”

“I named it ‘Ghost Under the Table’.”

“I hate the name ‘Ghost Under the Table’ too.”

“It’s called ‘Ghost Under the Table’.” The other side said, not really caring much. This fat cat plushie was named Suphaporn by Daotok…which I think doesn’t really match its face, but whatever, Suphaporn is Suphaporn.

“Where is Phii Jo?” I asked.

“He hasn’t come back yet.”

“Working?”

“Um,” North frowned slightly. Whenever we talk about Phii Jo and he’s not around, it’s always like this. Does he even realize it? “Just a little work, it’s urgent so I went to help.”

“Hmm, impressive.”

“Phii Fah is impressive too.”

“Why?”

“I overheard Phii Fah and Phii Jo talking about some project related to hospital equipment. Phii Fah is involved a lot with his family’s hospital business, so he encountered some issues with equipment. He probably had an idea on how to fix it and went to discuss it with Phii

Jo.”

“Wow…like fixing or improving equipment?” I asked, stunned.

“I think so, they were looking at it together first. If it’s okay, they’ll have to turn it into something official, probably need to propose it to both Phii Fah’s dad and Phii Jo’s dad, I guess. It would be like a project where the company collaborates with the hospital.”    “Wow, that’s cool,” I said, my eyes wide open, almost unable to believe it. It sounds so grand. “Is Phii Jo interested in Phii Fah’s idea?”    “Anything that can make money, Phii Jo is interested in,” North said, bursting into laughter, “Really, man, in business, if you see profit and a way forward, you’ve got to dare to invest a bit.”

“Impressive, I couldn’t do that.”

And then North and I talked aimlessly for almost fifteen minutes until I realized he had taken us off-topic again, leading us out to sea somewhere, almost forgetting what we were actually talking about.    “Ah, so what’s next?” North raised an eyebrow, feigning a serious expression which was quite annoying. I frowned at him.

“I don’t know, keep talking, I guess?”

“Are you going to ignore the ‘sweet like you’ line?”

“And what do you want me to do?”

“Um,” North frowned slightly again. Whenever we talk about Phii Jo and he’s not around, it’s always like this. Does he even realize it?

“Just a little work, it’s urgent so I went to help.”

“Hmm, impressive.”

“Phii Fah is impressive too.”

“Why?”

“I overheard Phii Fah and Phii Jo talking about some project related to hospital equipment. Phii Fah is probably dealing a lot with the family’s hospital business, so he encountered some issues with the equipment. He seems to have an idea on how to fix it, so he consulted

Phii Jo.”

“Wow…like fixing the equipment or improving it?” I asked, somewhat stunned.

“I think so. They’re looking at it together first. If it’s good, they’ll probably make it into a project, propose it to both Phii Fah’s father and Phii Jo’s father, I guess. It’s like a joint project between the company and the hospital.”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” I said, my eyes wide with disbelief. It sounds so grand, “Is Phii Jo interested in Phii Fah’s idea?”    “Phii Jo is interested in anything that can make money,” North said with a laugh, “Really, you know, in business, if you see profit and a way forward, you have to be willing to take some risks.”

“He’s talented, I couldn’t do that.”

And then North and I continued chatting for almost fifteen minutes until I realized he had sidetracked me again, taking me out to sea somewhere, and I almost forgot what we were originally talking about.

“Ah, so what are you going to do next?” North raised his eyebrows to ask, pretending to look serious in an annoying way. I frowned at him.

“I don’t know, continue talking, I guess.”

“Are you going to let the sweet like you line just blur away?”

“And what should I do?”

“Reply, ‘I’m sweeter than your chocolate.’” North said, bursting into laughter, always finding his own words amusing, “Just kidding, don’t actually say that.”

“I won’t.” I shook my head, “If things get better between me and

Phii Fah, that’d be nice, but I’m a bit scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Like…it’s me, you know, it’s really me in the letters. If Phii Fah finds out, will he be disappointed?”    “Why would he be disappointed?”

“Because it’s me.”

“Why would that matter?” North raised his eyebrows in confusion, “Don’t underestimate yourself. What you should worry about more is your dad. If Phii Fah finds out, everything could go to hell.”    “Yeah…that’s right,” I said, just realizing it…father. I haven’t been in contact with my father for a long time, probably almost a month now. Most of the time, it’s Uncle-Kong who occasionally calls about the money he transfers to me, “I haven’t talked to my dad in a long time.”    “It’s been a while since then. Nothing to fear anymore, right?”    “No way,” I shook my head, “No matter what…no way, I might get transferred, really. He doesn’t care if I have friends or whatever, sigh, I still don’t know where our relationship is heading. And then there’s the matter with my dad; I still can’t reveal who’s behind the letters.”    “You’re going to make him like you and then disappear? That’s cruel.”

“I never said I would disappear.”

“You’ve disappeared from Phii Fah once already. Are you going to do it again?” North asked with a serious look, “Last time when you left, I thought you were really cruel.”

“I know,” I nodded. Whether it was the various ways I hurt Phii

Fah’s feelings or leaving without explaining, “Even if I claim there was a reason, he still doesn’t know. And…claiming there’s a reason to hurt someone else isn’t right, is it?”

“Right…because of you,” North said before trailing off.

“I’ve learned from my past, right?” I said. It’s a phrase North often tells me, especially when I start blaming myself.

“Just don’t repeat it.”

“Yeah. This time it has to be better than the last,” I said with a smile,

“I…guess I need to do something.”

“Yes, if Phii Fah is like this. One day, you’ll have to reveal yourself, no matter what. You can’t let things with your dad stay like this.”    “But I don’t have any good ideas, and talking has never worked.”

“How about using a strong approach?”

“How?”

“What do your dad do?”

“He works at a real estate company.”

“Why not have Phii Jo buy that company? If he owns the company, he can definitely pressure your dad.”

“What are you made of, heart-wise?” I said, laughing out loud. North didn’t pick up rich habits from Phii Jo, but he’s always been like this, joking about buying the world and sending Dao to Mars, or buying the faculty to give himself A grades, “That’s a bit much.”    “I was just kidding, forget about your dad for now, thinking about it gives me a headache, let’s survive the present first.”

“Oh, but you were the one who brought up the topic of my dad first.”

“Yeah, forget it, I forgot.”

Because we didn’t want to think about it, we changed the subject. Is it that easy…

“So, what’s the conclusion?”

“Back to the original question.” I sighed, glancing at the letter from Phii Fah that I had placed on the table, thinking about how to keep it, but definitely not sticking it next to the photos of those two with

Daotok, “Guess we’ll just keep talking.”

“Not going to take the initiative anymore?”

“Do you want me to only take the initiative?”

“I’m impatient.”

“Well…I think taking it slow, chatting, is nice, and I just got a Polaroid camera too,” I said, showing the Polaroid camera I had just decided to buy the day before to North, “It’s better to send some photos to Phii Fah.”    “Yeah, that’s cute.”

“Right, Polaroids are cool, you know,” I started to extol the virtues of Polaroid photos, being a camera enthusiast, I got a bit carried away, until North looked bored, “The colors are so beautiful when they develop.”

“Yeah, good, but don’t accidentally send a selfie.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Phii Fah must be a romantic, I think,” North got up to grab a new bag of snacks and then lay back down to continue eating, “Look at the sentences he sent, how can you not blush?”

“Hmm,” I raised my eyebrows at what North said, “Romantic?”

“Yes, or not?”

“Not.”

“Not romantic?”

“Defeated by Phii Fah.”

“You did well there,” North said with a slight chuckle.

We talked on the call for quite a while. I don’t often have these long calls with friends, but I frequently talk with Dao because he doesn’t have many people to talk to. As for Ter and North, they’re with their partners, and Foam said he has someone new to talk to.

   “Hey, Phoon, can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you want Phii Fah to be your sky?”

“I don’t want him to be; he’s already my sky.”

“But didn’t he say he can’t be that for anyone?”

“Yeah,” I nodded slightly, “But I made him my sky myself. Even if he doesn’t accept it, I’m not forcing it on him. It’s more like, me liking him is my own business, I guess.”    “Yeah, you’re quite stubborn, I like that.”

“Phii Fah once said I see the sky too positively, to be honest, I can’t see it negatively at all. Even if I’m afraid of lightning or scared of the dark sky, I still like it.”

“It’s like no matter what you are, I’ll still love you for being you.”    “The sky is always beautiful, no matter when. Whether at sunrise or sunset, when it’s cloudy, or at night with or without the moon, it’s still beautiful to me. So even if Phii Fah says the sky isn’t always beautiful, for me…I think the sky is always beautiful.”

“Phii Fah…might have a side I’ve never seen, like you said, people always have many sides. But if I gradually move closer like this, little by little…”

“I hope we can get to know each other’s other sides more.”

Tonfah

   “Hey?”

“You sound so relaxed.”

“Just normal.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.”

“Got a headache?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Eat some food and take some medicine.” I put the bag with rice down on the table in front of the couch where Arthit was looking like he hadn’t slept much, last night he was drunk and came to knock on my door, I didn’t ask why he came to me, I guessed it was because he didn’t want to go home.

   He’s been hungover on the sofa all day, so he didn’t go to class today. Apart from me having to collect his work, I also had to buy food for him to use my sofa.

   “Thanks, the gods have blessed me,” Arthit said playfully before propping himself up to open the rice box, “Sorry for bothering you.”

“No problem, and what made you get this drunk?”

He shrugged indifferently, still chewing on the rice.

I looked away from the person eating, if it’s like this, it’s the same old reason, and I didn’t feel like asking more. I sat down on the small couch next to him, feeling exhausted.    Today has been another exhausting day…

“You look tired.”

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

“Being Tonfah is tiring, huh?”

“Yeah, being Tonfah is damn tiring,” I accidentally let out a wry smile, “Is being Arthit tiring?”    “Ha, being me is super shitty.”

“What do you mean by shitty?”

“Everything.”

Hill once said that I and Arthit are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Arthit is someone who loves freedom, doesn’t care about anyone or anything, does what he wants, goes where he pleases, in contrast to me who likes to take care of others to the point where sometimes it seems excessive, but I don’t realize it because I’ve been like this since I was a kid.

   “Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“What Hill once said, if you combine you and me, we’d get the most perfect person.”

“But I don’t want to combine with you.”

“I don’t want to either, it’s just a comparison,” I said, turning to him,

“Arthit.”

“What?”

“Got a cigarette?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Can I have one?”

“You want to smoke?”

“Yeah.”

I’m not someone who smokes heavily. It’s just that sometimes, when I can’t handle my feelings, like in this case.

   We went out to the balcony to smoke together.

   “Can you still smoke? I thought you’d be hungover,” I asked.

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

I inhaled the gray smoke deep into my lungs and exhaled it. The view in front of me was one I was quite familiar with, now mixed with the faint drifting smoke.

“It doesn’t suit you.”

“What?”

“You smoke, and in your school uniform too.”

“It’s fine. No one’s watching.”

“I am.”

“That doesn’t count,” I turned to look at the person next to me, who had tousled his hair up messily, wearing a black T-shirt and jeans, looking somewhat exhausted, “Doesn’t it look like me?”    Which perspective do you want me to answer from?

“From someone else’s.”

“Hmm. Not you at all. Even just smoking isn’t you.”

“Ha,” I looked off into the distance with an empty gaze and feeling.    Tonfah is the sky my father hoped for, a sky that’s above everyone else.

   Tonfah is the tree my mother wanted me to be, always a shelter for others.

   And what about me…

   Do I really want to be like that?

   I’ve always been ‘expected’, since I was born and given this name, everyone expects me to be good, to excel in studies, to be kind, to be this and that. I was taught to be like this since I was a child, my parents taught me to sacrifice, to endure, to do for others. To care for and look after others, putting them first always.

   It has become a habit that sometimes I don’t even realize…

   Tonfah, you must be like this or that. I’ve always lived up to those expectations, until one day, I started to question, who am I really…    I have to study well, and when the results meet expectations, it’s just not disappointing, but why don’t I feel happy…

   My parents named me Tonfah even before I was conceived. They had planned what I should be like. Of course, it’s not coercion, but I became accustomed to doing what everyone expected of me.

   But it’s not that bad. I can do it, and I think I do it well, it’s just sometimes tiring. Just tired.

   It turns out, I need to see those around me happy for me to be happy. Seeing my mother happy with my grades is more joyful than just seeing my grades.

   Jo once said this habit can’t be changed, but caring for everyone and everything is bound to be tiring, and on the days I’m tired, Jo wants me to try to care a bit less.

   “You can’t care for everyone, if two people come crying to you, you can only comfort one, right? Prioritize, not everyone has to be important to you.”

   That’s what Johan once said to me.

   But aside from my close friends and family, everyone is equally important to me, maybe because I’ve never felt otherwise.

   “You’ve put everyone in the same zone from the first time you met them, so how can you open your heart to someone like that?”    Yes…if you look closely, I’ve always had a wall since the first time we met. If you get close enough, you’ll see that wall, but not everyone can get close.

   I can’t reciprocate anyone’s feelings. I’m afraid they’ll be disappointed, just like how anyone seeing me smoke now would be disappointed too.

   Because Tonfah is perfect in every way, but not for me. If all this is truly who I am, why does it feel so empty?

   The sky or the tree that parents want…is that me?

   Because in reality, I’m not perfect…

   I’ve never been perfect.

   I’m just an ordinary guy.

   Everyone who comes close expects me to be what they want. I’m not interesting like Johan or Hill, I’m rather boring. Someone once said I was intriguing…but in truth, even if you search, you won’t find anything.

   One woman I used to date, we had to break up because we weren’t compatible. She said I was the perfect man in every way, but I’m not like that. She had expectations of me like everyone else, and I felt that I didn’t think of her in that romantic way, more like a friend. At that time, I didn’t understand those feelings much, but now I understand that wasn’t love.

   “Fah.”

“Hmm?”

“I heard Mild confessed her love to you the other day.”

“How did you know?”

“And how did it go?” Arthit cut off my question. Mild, or

Thanmild, is a star in my faculty. Initially, Mild liked Hill, but when Hill got together with Ter, it seemed like Mild was shattered. She couldn’t pull herself back together, so she came to consult me. I tried my best to give advice until recently when Mild told me that I was the one who made her feel better, like some kind of light, and it ended with her confessing her love.

“I rejected her.”

“Oh, and how did she take it?”

“Called me a bastard.”    “Really? Call you that?”    I nodded.

“Why would you want that?”

“Maybe I gave her false hope.”

“Did you give her hope?”

“No,” I shook my head. I just treated him normally, like Mild was someone who needed help, “He just wanted to have some hope.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hmm,” I nodded, “Why?”

“If you didn’t get involved from the start, it would have been over.” “If you abandon someone from the start, you’re cruel, but if you care for them without loving them, you’re still cruel,” I said, shrugging slightly, “In the end, just not loving someone is considered cruel.”    “Yeah, whatever, I shouldn’t have asked, it’s too complicated,” Arthit said dismissively, “Next time, just say from the first meeting that I don’t like you, so they don’t get the wrong idea.”

“Really go with that?”

“Yeah, that’s it, I don’t like you, don’t get the wrong idea.”    “Damn,” I said, bursting into laughter, “He might retort that he doesn’t like you either, now that’s awkward.”

“It’s fine, it’s about setting clear zones right from the start.”    “Sigh, you’re something else,” I shook my head slightly, “Jo said if I want to find clarity first, set priorities, so you don’t have to see everyone as equally important.”

“Yeah, that’s good, try it.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had someone important, except for friends and family.”

“You’re asking me for advice? Fah, seriously?”

“Just trying to ask.”

“Just try opening your heart to someone, maybe. Having a partner is the most important thing, right? You’ll end up paying less attention to others.”

“Can you give advice on this matter, about having a partner?”

Arthit shook his head with a disgusted look. Ah…true, Arthit is the man furthest from the concept of love.    “What about the person from the letters?”

“Why?”

“Come on, you said you’ve opened your heart.”

“Yeah, he’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

I like the special kind of ordinary…even though the sentences we talk about might be simple, he never thought to change them. The sentences remain as simple as telling me to eat, rest well, or discussing the weather, which becomes more and more ‘cute’, ‘cute’, and ‘cute’.

   Johan said if it reaches the point where it’s “cute as hell”, it’s dangerous.

   I’ve received many letters, but I’ve never replied to anyone, except for this person, with the care I’ve never received before. Normally, if I don’t reply, people would send messages back, asking things like, ‘Don’t you like the snacks?’ or ‘Do you like it? Let me know.’    But this person still writes about mundane things like the weather, as if he’s ready to look after me like this forever, without expecting anything in return.

   Because others come to me as if I’m special, when I’m just an ordinary person. All I want is this kind of ordinary.

   So…I like it.

   “Fah.”

“Hmm?”

“Chocolate price.”

“How much?”

“$550, in US dollars.”

“17,400 baht,” I repeated the amount converted from dollars to baht, then took out my phone to transfer the money to Arthit. I asked him to buy chocolate for me since he was going abroad.

It’s the chocolate brand that I think is the best.

And I wonder if it’s as sweet as someone.

“My friends are all about spending money,” Arthit said after seeing the amount transferred into his account.

“And you?”

“What do you expect me to do, my money is my money.”

“Cheap bastard.”

“Are you going back now?” I asked as we walked back into the room.

“Guess so, let me borrow a shirt to change into, I stink of booze.”    “It’s in the closet,” I said, before Arthit walked towards my wardrobe. I just remembered that I also received a bag of snacks today, but because I was busy all day, I hadn’t opened it to see what the person had sent back.

I pulled out a light blue paper bag from my bag, curious about what he replied with, and found a chocolate bar, a bottle of syrup, and a Polaroid photo.

Huh?

   Did he send a photo too?

   I raised my eyebrows in surprise at what I found. Taking it out, I saw it was a photo of the chocolate box I had bought, and the chocolates inside had been completely eaten, leaving only the box and the wrapper.

   There was a message written on the back of the Polaroid, ‘I don’t know either, because I’ve never tasted myself, but this chocolate box was just sweet enough, very delicious, thank you, ( v )’    I couldn’t help but smile broadly after reading the message.

   If what Johan said is true…this could be dangerous.

   Good heavens…

   You really are the kind of person I like.

    SOUTHBESIDETHESKY CHAPTERS HOME

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