NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 29 part 1
Chapter 29: Looking at You
I glanced at the person in my arms who was still unwilling to wake up even though it was quite late. Their warm, steady breathing, the slight red mark I had left last night on the fair skin near the neck, barely visible above the shirt because I intended it to be subtle.
My little junior was resting on my arm, turned towards me, moving closer. He’s also very clingy, always wanting to be hugged. So, I tightened my embrace and gently kissed his forehead.
If anyone could see the look in my eyes right now,
they would know how deeply I’m in love with him.
We’ve been dating for a while now, and everything is perfect. Seeing him move around the room, making breakfast in the morning, going to classes together, and returning home together, calling this our room. We kiss every time we’re about to separate and every time we reunite, it’s a sign of how much we miss each other.
He’s the only one I want to see smiling often. I love his laugh, the way his eyes look when he smiles, he truly brings me so much happiness with his personality, thoughts, and even his playful words. Even though he can be a bit mischievous,
it’s all part of who he is.
The person who has made me fall in love over and over again for years.
I’ve always believed that the most captivating thing is one’s attitude.
He isn’t an optimist, but he looks at the world as it is. I love that he always waits to hear from me first, no matter what he might have heard from others, he’ll ask and tell me straightforwardly what happened, just as he explains everything to me directly, no matter the topic.
Regarding my past, I admit it’s not something good. He says he doesn’t think much of it; as long as I’m only with him now, that’s enough. And I can see he really doesn’t dwell on it. He’s never asked to check my phone, not even once. I think he probably doesn’t think about it at all. But even if he did ask, there’s nothing to see, just my phone’s background set to his picture.
And his easygoing and simple nature is what makes everyone want to be around him; that’s why he’s my peace of mind. What I also like is that he chooses my peace of mind above all else. He told me, (that he had blocked his ex on LINE from the moment he realized he was starting to like me. If he knows it makes me uncomfortable when someone approaches him, he won’t engage with that person again, and he makes it clear to everyone that he’s taken.)
“It’s okay, I choose your peace of mind over everything, Phii Joe.”
That was his response after I asked if he felt restricted by my being overly protective.
And I like it when he gets jealous of me, like that time at the bar with James, but if it happens too often, it wouldn’t be that great. I used to be quite the flirt, never turning away beautiful people who approached me, which often got me scolded by Hill for my inability to say no to women. But now, I don’t pay attention to anyone else. I choose to reject everyone to keep one person.
The matter of introducing him to my family is the same, it shows how serious he is about us. Since we started dating, he’s become more clingy, more attentive, and tends to think of me first in many situations I’ve noticed, and with all that cuteness, I really can’t go anywhere.
I reached out to gently stroke his hair, moving down to the red marks that indicate what happened last night. Last night was another time I realized that with him, I can never get enough. I’m not sure if I couldn’t control myself or if that was me controlling myself the most. If he hadn’t passed out first, it might not have ended there.
And it seems like I still want more and more, but I’ll have to wait a bit longer, for his body to get more used to it.
“Uh…” He made a soft noise in his throat, slowly waking up with a groggy look. When he saw me watching, he quickly averted his gaze and tried to turn away, but I hugged him first.
“What’s wrong?”
“…Uh, I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Why?” I teased in a low voice after leaning my face close to his. His face started to turn red a bit before he buried his face into my chest.
“Mean person.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re mean.”
“Am I mean?”
“Yeah.”
“But last night, the one who asked me to…” I fell silent when suddenly his small hand reached out to cover my mouth, stopping me from continuing.
“Uh…stop, no teasing.”
“…”
I didn’t respond, just took his hand, gently kissing his fingers and the back of his hand, glancing at him as I often do. I don’t know what kind of look I have when I look at him, probably one of someone very much in love, and I feel like I can’t look away at all.
He, on the other hand, can’t handle my gaze and always looks away first.
The other person bit their lip slightly, as they often do when trying to hide their embarrassment, and quickly pulled their hand back.
“Phii Joe…”
And there’s something else I love,
when he calls my name.
“Yes?” I answered, giving a slight smile, then leaned in close, pressing my lips softly against his. He responded to the touch, but the kiss was just a brief touch of lips before I pulled away.
“Have you been awake for long?”
“Hmm, for a while now.”
“What time is it? I have class.” He said, suddenly looking alarmed as if he just remembered, “I’m going to miss the attendance check, this is bad.”
“Can you make it in time?” I asked, my question making him pout immediately.
“See, you’re mean. I told you I have class.”
“Is that so? I didn’t seem to remember that.” I said, not too concerned, sitting up on the bed following him. It looks like he’s sore again. It happens every time we have sex. Even though his body is getting used to it, it probably doesn’t hurt as much as before, but last night I might have been a bit too rough.
I pulled him into a hug and started kissing his cheek, moving down to his neck to take in his faint scent. He was slightly startled by my actions. I find his embarrassed reactions when I touch him so endearing, and I find it even more so when, despite being very embarrassed, he still tries to kiss or peck me back.
“Good morning.” He said softly, with a bit of a shy demeanor, leaning in to kiss my cheek, then revealing a sweet smile. How can someone be so adorable in every way…
I dropped him off at the engineering faculty before driving back to the medical school. I was a bit worried because he seemed to have a slight fever. Even though it wasn’t severe and he insisted he was fine, with North, you can never really trust that he’s ‘fine.’ And I’m aware that sometimes I might get a bit too intense. Next time, I’ll try to control myself better.
I walked into the classroom, just in time it seemed, as the professor was also entering.
“Not late today?” Fah turned to ask as soon as I sat down next to him.
“Not late, my little junior has class.”
“If your junior doesn’t have class, you won’t leave the room, right?” Arthit, who had his head slumped on the table, looked up to tease me. I shrugged, not paying much attention.
I didn’t intend to become a doctor in the first place. Even if I graduate, I won’t work as one because I’m better suited to the family business, which pays better too. So I didn’t care much about studying, but because it’s this faculty, if I didn’t put in any effort at all, I wouldn’t make it. And the coursework has been getting tougher, to the point where I had to ask for some time off from the family business, otherwise, I definitely wouldn’t graduate.
The teacher lectured for about an hour before excusing himself for some business, leaving us with work to do.
“There’s a match today. Did you bring your jersey?” Hill asked me after we gathered as a group.
“I brought it.”
“Is it basketball?” Fah asked. I nodded in response, “Against which faculty?” “Engineering.” I answered. It’s during the sports day period where each faculty takes turns to compete. Today there’s a basketball match between the medical faculty and the engineering faculty, “How can we possibly win?”
“Why can’t we?”
“Ask Arthit.” I said, and Arthit immediately looked annoyed because just the other day, our medical faculty football team had lost to engineering.
“Ha, it’s ridiculous.” Arthit sighed, “I was exhausted, bastard. I was already panting, but the other side looked so relaxed.”
“Poor thing.” I said, genuinely feeling sorry for him. No matter how good Arthit is, since it’s a team sport, being good alone makes it tough.
“Why, I didn’t go watch.” Fah asked.
“Their bench has a hundred players. When they get tired, they just substitute in fresh players. Then look at the med school bench.” Arthit said, clearly not in the best mood, “They focus on numbers, damn it.”
Because engineering is the largest faculty, there are a lot of skilled players. And as Arthit mentioned, they can keep substituting players, which was most evident during the football match when Arthit played, prolonging the game to their advantage.
“Is basketball the same, like last year?” Arthit asked.
“Yeah, I heard. The seniors were complaining.” Hill said.
“Let’s throw in the towel, Joe.” I immediately turned to look at Arthit when I heard that, then burst out laughing.
“Use money to solve the problem?” I asked while still laughing, “Interested, Hill?”
“You’re good at just one thing.” I shrugged, not paying much attention, “And you got beaten by that kid?” I turned to ask Arthit because that kid, Tiger, also plays football and has been the captain since his first year.
“Damn, just saying his name makes my blood boil.” Arthit said irritably, “It felt like getting stepped on the face.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah, our faculty is packed with people, but it’s a miracle to even get enough people to join the team.”
“But you can still switch according to the rules, right? It’s not like it happens often.” Hill remarked.
“True, but our faculty is…you understand, right?” Arthit paused for a moment, as it’s quite an intense course, so not many care about extracurriculars or sports. It’s not surprising, really, only a few of us are juggling both activities and studies.
“Ah, but don’t count me in, I don’t want to deal with both.” I added, because I didn’t want the hassle of both.
“Yeah, I’ve quit the tennis club.” Fah announced. I turned to look at him with a slightly surprised expression, remembering he had mentioned some issues within the club.
“You quit?” I asked.
“Hmm, it might be the best way out.”
“Why?” Arthit inquired.
“The girls were arguing over you, Fah.” I said, recalling from when Fah had come to me for a bit of advice. Even though Fah still looked somewhat confused, I figured it was about this, “You’re just too nice to everyone.”
“Wow, those words coming out of Joe’s mouth.” Arthit teased, “Can a family man say anything now?”
“Absolutely, I can say whatever I want now.” I said, raising an eyebrow at them. “In the past, Hill almost had to take migraine medication.” Fah said, “He was complaining about you every day, Joe.”
“Hmm? Complaining means you were missing me, Hill?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Hill said with a sigh. I liked it when the usually quiet Hill slipped up, “And what does that look mean?”
“Can’t I look at you?” I playfully looked at Hill with the same gaze I used to give to girls when I was still a flirt, giving a slight, habitual smile.
“Hill?”
“What?” Hill looked up from his sheet and back at me, his eyes sharp with a hint of displeasure.
“…”
“…”
“I get why people ship Hill with Johan now, you beast.” Arthit said, holding his temples and laughing, “Joe, you’re such a flirt, just a look in your eyes tells it all.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Hill said, shaking his head in disgust, “Go do something else.”
“Do what?” I asked.
“Anything you want to do, just do your work.” He said, sliding some papers towards me.
“If I say I want to look at you like this?”
“…”
“That’s ridiculous, and you just teased Hill again.” Fah laughed out loud, “I’m about to board the Hill and Johan ship.”
“Don’t, Fah, I don’t like it.” I said, turning to him.
“You don’t like shipping Hill with Johan?”
“I don’t like my name being tacked on at the end.” I said, chuckling a bit. Honestly, I didn’t like this random shipping either, it was just to tease Hill.
“Spreading to Hill now.” Arthit said, also laughing.
“Sigh.” Hill let out a small sigh, clearly annoyed with me, but he must be used to it by now. “When you’re in such a good mood, you’re annoying, Joe. Why don’t you go do some work?”
“I’ve been teasing you since our freshman year. Don’t you ever give in?”
“…”
“I could take care of you for life, you know.”
“Joe…sigh.” Hill sighed heavily. I laughed at his reaction. Nothing is more fun than teasing Hill. “Why would anyone stay with someone like you?”
“Because our friend is so smitten, where would he go?” Arthit teased, “If he doesn’t have class, he won’t leave the room, so smitten with you, huh?”
“If you point at a bird and say it’s a bird, I’d believe you. If you point at a dog and say it’s a crocodile, I’d believe that too.”
“Enough, you beast.” Arthit said, drawing out the word, “I’ll pile up money for you.”
“True.” I agreed, “Hey, Hill.”
“Yeah?”
“Is Ter the same?”
“What do you mean?”
“He won’t take anything I try to buy for him, he won’t tell me what he wants, he wants to save up to buy things himself, and he’s always fussing about wanting to work.”
“He’s like that, is North the same?” Hill asked back.
“Are we entering the ‘househusbands’ counseling session’?” Arthit teased.
“Why is it like that?” I turned to ask Hill. “Probably out of consideration.”
“Why be considerate? I want to give, but he won’t take it.”
“I don’t know.” Hill said with a slight shake of his head, “Ter is like that too. Don’t know why he’s so considerate.”
“So what do you do?”
“They’re just being considerate of you guys.” Fah chimed in, “They don’t want to trouble or burden you. They’re not dating you for your money.”
“It really goes against the sugar daddy vibe like Joe here.” Arthit said.
“Yeah, I want to give everything, if he wants something, I’ll find it for him, but the only thing he ever asks for is a Seven-Eleven stamp.” I said, feeling a bit frustrated. It’s almost the only thing he asks for from me, I remember when we go shopping, he always asks for the stamp. It’s cute, but doesn’t he want anything else?
“Adorable.” Fah commented.
“Shut up.”
“You’re quite possessive.”
“Yeah.”
“How’s it going living together?” Fah asked, “What’s Nong North like? Do you ever get mad or sulk at each other? He seems so laid back.”
“What kind of person is he?” I repeated the question, pausing to think, “I think he’s someone without much substance.”
“That’s what this bastard thinks of him too.”
“Really, he’s easygoing, laughs easily, tells his own jokes, and laughs at them. Even at five baht or ten baht jokes, I’d laugh, out of fondness.” I said, reminiscing about the times we spent together. When he’d tell a joke and I didn’t laugh, he’d say, ‘Oh, you’re not laughing?’ but then he’d laugh by himself for a bit.
“Has he ever gotten angry at you?” “Never, I think it would be hard. I’d have to do something like being with someone else.” I said honestly. He’s never been angry with me, and I haven’t done anything to make him angry either. But if I were to make him angry, I’d have to do something really wrong, which I wouldn’t do.
“And he doesn’t get angry at others? Has he never been mad?” Fah asked, surprised.
“He gets angry, I’ve seen it.” I said, “Probably when playing games, he gets really heated.” He gets easily frustrated over games, often seen getting upset while playing. But when I approach him, he cheers up.
“And with people he’s not close to?”
“Sometimes, he’s just a normal person. And why do you care so much about my partner, Fah?”
“Such a jealous type, you used to tease Hill about Ter to make him angry. How is it now?” Arthit teased again. I raised an eyebrow at that before the conversation at the table drifted to other topics.
“Write this for me, Fah.” Arthit said, passing some documents to Fah.
“Write it yourself.”
“My hand hurts.” Arthit said, raising his left hand which had been bitten by piranhas in Brazil. I still find it funny every time I see it, especially since he used a medical certificate from the incident as an excuse to skip classes. Even if he didn’t skip all classes, he still had to make up for it or miss a lot of days anyway.
“Use your other hand then.”
“I’m not ambidextrous like you.”
“Sigh.” Fah sighed slightly before taking the paper from Arthit to write for him, “Hey Joe, what about the sports day money scam?”
“I don’t know, ask Hill. Weren’t you the one handling it?” I turned to ask. “The person who scammed the sports day money is exactly who you thought, Joe.”
“I figured.” I said, not too surprised. Scamming the sports day money isn’t hard to pinpoint; it’s much harder to find the culprits within the company.
“But you didn’t pursue it, so the faculty handled it by expelling him and they’ll get the money back. But since he already spent it all, the faculty will cover the remaining amount, and beyond that, it’s up to the law.” Hill explained while still bent over his work, writing.
“You really won’t pursue it?” Fah asked.
“Nah, too lazy to go to court.”
“Joe.” I turned towards the voice calling my name, seeing it was a female friend from our faculty named Bai Toey.
“What’s up?”
“I want Joe to join the sports day parade, are you free?”
“Get Hill and Fah to do it.”
“Hill and Fah are already in as the faculty leader and vice-leader, they have to walk anyway. But we need more people, so I was hoping Joe could join too. Are you free? You’d walk with me.”
“I’m not free.” I replied straightforwardly.
“He just wants to linger around the engineering faculty.” Arthit teased.
“Really? Your boyfriend is in the engineering faculty, right?” Bai Toey said, her expression visibly darkening before she glanced at the bracelet on my wrist, “This one is serious, isn’t he? You keep posting about him in your stories.”
“Hmm.”
“Oh…what about Arthit, are you free?”
“Not free, I have to go as an athlete representative to receive an award.”
“For second place.” I teased, earning a scolding from Arthit. “So, no one’s free? What a pity.”
“Sorry about that.” I said out of courtesy.
“It’s okay.” Bai Toey said with a faint smile before walking away. I turned back, not too concerned, but since Fah was sitting across from me, he noticed.
“She’s crying.”
“Is she?” I asked, glancing over slightly to see Bai Toey crying on a friend’s shoulder outside, “Because I mentioned my boyfriend is in the engineering faculty, and I am in a serious relationship with him.”
“Well, you told the truth.”
“Toey has liked you since the first year.” Fah said, “Because you gave her hope.”
“Me? When was that?” I asked, trying to remember, but then decided it was better not to try too hard. I probably wouldn’t remember anyway, especially since I barely remember names of people outside my close circle.
“Probably during the first-year lab, Toey broke something in the lab, and you paid for the damage, it was like ten thousand baht.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrow in question.
“Who wouldn’t like that, you’re such a spender.” Arthit said, “Why did you pay at that time? It wasn’t because you were good-hearted, was it?”
“Oh, if I really paid, then I…yeah.” I said, letting out a chuckle. No need to say it out loud to understand the implication. Why would I pay if I didn’t expect anything in return?
“And it didn’t work out?”
“Arthit.” Fah said in a low, cautionary tone.
“You mean you didn’t end up dating?”
“Probably not.” I said, shaking my head slightly, “Must have talked and found out it wouldn’t work, I don’t like people who make things worse when you talk to them, it’s a headache, like Hill’s Thanmild.” “She’s not mine.” Hill retorted immediately.
“Now it’s Fa’s.” I said. Thanmild is a second-year medical student who has liked Hill since high school and followed him here to study. She’s the type that gives you a headache just by being around, dunno how Hill puts up with her.
“Not mine.”
“Are you sure, Fah?” I raised an eyebrow, “I see you with her often.”
“She just comes to consult.”
“Oh, is that so?”
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