NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 22 part 1
Chapter 22: A million times
I miss you so much…
It’s been almost one week since Phii Joe went to Boston. We haven’t talked at all, not even in chat. Honestly, he hasn’t replied to my messages at all. There’s no “seen” either, so I guess he must be really busy. What time is it in Boston now, I wonder? Has he eaten yet, or is he just drinking coffee instead of eating again? Phii Joe has this bad habit of overworking; he won’t rest until he’s finished, and he doesn’t like to take breaks for meals, just drinks coffee.
“You’re looking down again.” Duennao, sitting beside me, teased a bit. I didn’t reply, just glanced over.
“What?”
“You’ve been down and depressed ever since Phii Joe left, do you realize?”
“Really?”
“See, you’re too down.”
“Sigh.” I let out a big sigh, then took my hand off my chin and rested my arm on the table, propping my head on my arm instead. Right now, we’re sitting idly in front of the Gear Lawn where the freshmen are busy preparing for the engineering gear event, which is like an event for the first-years who just received their gear. There’s a stage for concerts, which is the main attraction, and stalls selling various things all over.
“Do you miss him that much?” Kyu asked.
“Yeah, I’m worried too. He doesn’t reply to my messages, and I’m afraid to call in case I disturb him.” I said truthfully. Initially, Phii Hill said it was okay to call, since Phii Joe wouldn’t be able to respond to messages much, but I still didn’t dare to call. “It’s going to be another whole week before he comes back.”
“Then he’ll miss the gear event. Oh, usually people would go to these events with their girlfriend or boyfriend, poor North.” Skater said, making a pitiful face at me, oh well.
“Yeah.”
“Poor thing, really, like a dog left by its owner, ears drooping, tail down.” Duennao said, reaching up to pat my head in a comforting gesture. Why does everyone like to pat my head? I swear, I’m going bald at this rate.
“Yeah.”
“North, at this point, just call him.”
“No, what if he’s working?”
“It’s more torturous for two weeks, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, more tortuous than during the military training camp.” I said. The hardest time was indeed those two weeks at the military camp, but right now isn’t much better.
“I understand, you miss him but you can’t see him.” Nao chimed in. “You worry about him like an animal, wondering if he’s eaten, how the weather is, if he’s comfortable, we’re thousands of kilometers apart after all.”
“Nao.” I called out in a drawn-out tone, then lightly shook his arm, “How did you know?”
“Well, my brother is in Boston, isn’t he?” “Right, how many hours ahead is it there?”
“Eleven. So, it must be around six in the morning there.”
“Six in the morning?” I repeated thoughtfully, hoping he’d either be waking up or still asleep. Not that he’s been working since last night without sleep.
“North!” I turned abruptly when I heard someone call my name, and before I could react, someone sat down next to me.
“Prim.” I called the name of the newcomer, who is a friend from the same faculty, the one I’ve talked with in the group chat. Prim is quite active in activities, and knows a lot of people all over the faculty, probably because she’s cute and thus popular.
“Why aren’t you helping out with the booth?” Prim asked.
“I’m tired. I need rest.” I said, though really, I was just being lazy.
“Really? You seem a bit off lately, not as lively. Are you sick?”
“North just misses his owner. The little dog has been left to guard the house alone.” Duennao said.
“Owner? Do you have a boyfriend now?” Prim asked, raising an eyebrow slightly, before reaching out to touch my arm. Prim often does this kind of thing, touching and being close, I’m not sure if she does this with others too. Before, I didn’t mind, but lately, it’s different. I gently removed her hand.
“See, it’s true.”
“What?”
“North, recently, it’s like you’ve got an owner now. You keep removing our hands, not liking to be touched or played with like before.” Prim said with a slight pout. “You got a boyfriend without telling me, how could you get one before me?”
“Actually, I don’t have one.” I said truthfully.
“Then why can’t we play anymore if you don’t have one?”
“I don’t know.” I said, shaking my head. I actually do know why, but I can’t explain it well, so it’s better not to try.
“Still not together?” Skater asked, almost not believing his ears. I nodded in response, “Really, why aren’t you together yet?”
“I’m not sure.”
“North, can you handle this?”
“I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“You’re looking really down.”
“Am I…?”
“Yeah, and it’s weird, why aren’t you two dating yet? Or is it that you won’t?” Skater asked again for emphasis.
“No.”
“Hasn’t he asked you?”
“Yeah.”
“Our friend can’t take it anymore, Kyu.” Nao said, letting out a small laugh. “This is what happens when you miss someone, you’re about to burn up.”
“Do we need to take him to a doctor?”
“What doctor?”
“Dr. Johan.”
“Very funny, you guys.” I said, feeling a bit annoyed. This kind of teasing has been almost constant for the whole week. “If you can’t actually take me to him, don’t say it.”
“Dr. Johan? Is he North’s boyfriend?” Prim asked with a disbelieving look. “Is it true? Phii Johan, the second-year, the really handsome one?”
“They’re not dating, North just said so, but he’s the reason North is sitting here moping.” Kyu explained.
“Oh. Not dating. Then are you talking?” Prim asked again. “Yeah. I guess.” I said truthfully, can we call it talking? “Maybe.”
“Just talking, but you already gave him the gear. I’m confused, why don’t you date already?” Kett said. I shook my head as an answer, indicating I didn’t know either, and why did it turn into a topic about dating?
“Isn’t Phii Johan dating Phii Grace from the dentistry faculty?” Prim mentioned, and that made me frown slightly. Again…this again. Why are there so many rumors about him? I’ve heard a lot since we first met, but many things I’ve seen made me believe he’s no longer a playboy, but I wonder how much of a playboy one can be.
Plus, each girl he’s rumored with is incredibly beautiful.
“The top of the dental faculty in her third year, right? Wow, she’s in top form, and she’s mixed-race too, isn’t she?” Skater said, “Phii Grace is really beautiful, I saw her in person once at a restaurant.”
“Hmm. I’ve heard she’s dating someone, but some say she’s not. It’s confusing, and you’re talking with Phii Joe, right?”
“Uh…yes.”
“It must be tough to talk with someone who’s handsome and well-off, everyone likes him.” Prim said with a playful smile directed at me, “But does he take you seriously? Be careful, okay? We’re worried about you.”
“Um, thanks.” I said quietly, why does this sound so familiar?
“And he hasn’t asked you to be his boyfriend, why?” Prim asked again. I shook my head instead of answering, starting to feel annoyed at being asked this. “Sorry, but maybe you should step back, right? If he’s not asking to be your boyfriend, it might mean he’s not serious, isn’t it? Seriously, he’s always surrounded by beautiful people.”
“Then why does he still talk to North?” Duennao interjected. Nao is the type who gets easily fired up as I’ve mentioned before. If someone says something like this about his friend, he’s not going to like it much, “Are you trying to make North overthink? I’m asking seriously.”
“No. I’m just saying what I think, maybe he talks because it’s easy to be around you, or he feels comfortable, because North is this laid-back type, but not because he wants to…uh, date.”
“…”
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything, are you mad?”
“Not mad.” I said.
“Oh…okay, sorry, then I better go back to working on the booth.” Prim said, giving me a slight, apologetic smile, looking like she felt guilty for saying what she did, maybe she spoke without thinking.
“North, are you okay?”
“I’m okay, why?”
“Then why do you look so sad?” Duennao asked with a worried expression, “ Prim, you can tell she likes you, that’s why she doesn’t want you to have a boyfriend.”
“…”
“North, why are you so quiet? Are you thinking a lot about what Prim said earlier? Don’t think too much about it, either way, he’s serious about you. If not, he wouldn’t have given you a gear.” Kyu said, seemingly trying to comfort me.
“No. I’m not thinking about what Prim said, but I’m wondering if I should go to Phii Hill, maybe he could talk to Phii Joe. I could ask how he’s doing, especially since the midterm results are out. If I ask to see his scores, would that be okay?”
“Yeah, good. I thought you’d take other people’s words too seriously.” Kyu said, letting out a small sigh.
“For what?” “The one who got paid a hundred dollars per second for a video can certainly say that.” Duennao teased again. It seems like he’s really stuck on this topic. I was also taken aback when I saw over sixty thousand deposited into my account. After that, word got out that someone gave two hundred thousand bits, and Duennao’s channel started getting a lot more viewers. Now the channel has tens of thousands of followers, I guess. Nao exchanged those two hundred thousand bits for nearly eighty thousand baht and gave it all to me.
And the one who’s been getting jealous because so many people are hitting on Nao is none other than the idiot Tiger.
“So it’s true then?” Skater asked, furrowing his brows as if he couldn’t believe it. “Too rich, damn. If you were to record a video for an hour, that’d be ten million.”
“Yeah, ten million.” I repeated Skater’s words in disbelief. Ten million…”Shit, that’s so much money, I can’t even imagine it. But he probably wouldn’t transfer that much, ten million is too much.”
“He might actually transfer it. Try it.”
“Who’d be crazy enough to film themselves for an hour? What would I even talk about?” I said. Even twenty seconds left me unsure of what to say. Then I looked down at my phone’s chat with Ter. “I’m gonna go.”
“Where to?”
“To find Ter.”
“And the booth?”
“It’s not like I’m doing anything helpful there.” I said before standing up from the marble bench and heading towards the medical faculty where Ter said he was with Phii Hill and Phii Fah, sitting under the faculty building.
I walked over and sat down at the marble bench where the three of them were. The two seniors were writing something while Ter sat across from them. So I sat next to Ter. “Phii Hill, Phii Fah, hello.” I greeted them, and both looked up with a smile. “Working?”
“Yes, for Joe and Tit too.” Phii Hill answered.
“Has Phii Arthit not come back yet?” I asked, recalling that he was supposed to just go for a couple of days, wasn’t he? Why hasn’t he returned after a whole week has passed?
“Not yet. No idea where he’s disappeared to.” Phii Hill said with a small sigh. “I knew it, with Tit, it shouldn’t have been just a couple of days.”
“Did you try calling him, didn’t he answer?” Phii Fah asked.
No, sometimes there’s no signal.
“Is he really in Miami?”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Phii Hill.” I called out, and he turned to me immediately, “Have you talked with Phii Joe at all?”
“Oh. No, not yet. Do you miss him?” Phii Hill asked, giving me a kind smile. How can he be so gentle? Compared to Phii Joe, whose smile always seems like part of some prank he’s planning on me.
“Uh…yeah.” I nodded slightly.
“Call him then.”
“I don’t dare to call, afraid I might disturb him.”
“You won’t disturb him, you can call. If he’s busy with work, he just won’t answer.” Phii Hill said. I nodded to indicate I understood. But it’s still around six in the morning over there, as Nao said, so I’ll wait a bit longer before calling.
“Oh, you could give this to Nong North.” Phii Fah suddenly said as if he just remembered something, then pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. I took it, puzzled, “These are Joe’s midterm scores.” I looked at the paper in my hand. The exam scores were excellent, almost full marks in nearly every subject. There were some blank spaces for participation points, but overall, it was very good, much better than mine T^T.
“Phii Fah, what does this red mark mean?” I asked, pointing to the red cross.
“Oh, that means he didn’t pass.”
“English? Phii Joe didn’t pass English?” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. Isn’t Phii Joe supposed to be good at English? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to tutor me that day, and he wouldn’t go abroad for work.
“Well, Joe didn’t attend a single class.” Phii Fah explained before turning to ask the person next to him instead, “Why didn’t he go, Hill?”
“Oh, he said he felt like he was being looked down upon.”
“Looked down upon?” I repeated, not understanding.
“He was complaining that, ‘You’re teaching me grammar? I’m in university, not elementary school, this is absurd.’“
He didn’t attend English class because he felt he was being looked down upon, because the teaching was too easy for him? Wait a minute…what is this about, T^T. I wish I could feel this way too.
“Um, good. Johan is really Johan, huh? Can’t even bear a little patience. I understand it’s too easy, but you still have to attend classes, right? Otherwise, where will you get your grades from?” Phii Fah said, “It’s not like just because you got a 900 on the TOEIC, you’ll get an ‘A’ without going to class.”
TOEIC 900…
“Hill, call Tit again, I’m not sure if he wanted this part corrected too.”
“Okay.” Phii Hill agreed, then took out his phone to call Phii Arthit as Phii Fah suggested. After a moment, it seemed like the call was answered. Phii Hill looked slightly surprised. “He picked up.”
“Put it on speaker, my hands are full.” (What’s up?) Phii Arthit’s voice came through after Phii Hill turned on the speaker, there was a lot of background noise, like he was in a place with a bad signal.
“Tit, there’s some work that needs fixing, should I fix it for you?” Phii Fah asked.
(Yeah, just do whatever.)
“Where are you? Why is there so much noise?”
(Fah, I’m lost. I don’t know where I am.)
“Lost? You?”
(Yeah)
“Where are you?”
(São Paulo)
!!
Everyone seemed slightly shocked by the response. Phii Hill and Phii Fah exchanged bewildered looks.
“São Paulo? Brazil?”
(Yeah)
“And why did you go to Brazil? You said you were going with Joe.”
(I landed in Boston, but it was cold. So I thought Brazil would be better, it’s much warmer here.)
Phii Fah raised his hand to his forehead, then let out an exasperated sigh.
“We have to sit here working for you guys. I can understand Joe because he’s working, but you, Arthit, you ran off to Brazil?” Phii Fah asked with a resigned tone. I guessed this wasn’t the first time something like this happened. Phii Arthit seems like someone who doesn’t care much, just decides he wants to go to Brazil and goes, without much planning. Decided to go to Brazil because Boston was cold when he got there, so Brazil seemed better? This guy, I admire him. I couldn’t help but laugh while thinking. Since Phii Joe refused to attend English class because it was too easy, why are all the seniors so amusing?
(I was thinking of going piranha fishing, but it looks like I won’t make it. Gotta head back soon.)
“You should have realized you needed to come back a long time ago, and you still have the face to go fishing?”
(Yeah, I know, I’ll hurry back. I’m almost out of money.)
“Where’s Joe then?”
“Joe is in Boston, he wouldn’t run off to travel like you.”
(Ask him to transfer me some money, I don’t have enough to get back to Thailand.)
Phii Arthit’s words made me and Ter burst into laughter until our stomachs hurt. What’s with this guy? What does it mean to not have enough money to return until you’re asking for Phii Joe? Phii Hill and Phii Fah sighed in disgust before agreeing and hanging up.
“In that case, let’s call Joe then, so Nong North can talk to him if he’s free.” Phii Hill said before dialing Phii Joe. I was still laughing about Phii Arthit’s situation, just give me a moment to compose myself, can I?
(Speak)
Phii Johan answered. Hearing his voice after a long time made my heart flutter a bit.
“Where are you?” Phii Hill asked.
(Boston, what, do you have dementia?)
“Guess where Arthit is.”
(Arthit? Why?)
“Where do you think he is?”
(He told me he was going to Miami. After we split at the airport.)
“He’s in São Paulo.”
(…)
“…”
(São Paulo? Brazil, right?)
“Yeah.”
(What the hell is he doing in Brazil?)
“Fishing for piranhas”
(…) there was no immediate response from the other end, silence for a moment before a laugh was heard. (Fishing for piranhas? What the hell is that? He said he wanted to race cars in Miami, so how did he end up fishing for piranhas?)
“He said Boston was too cold, so he went somewhere else.”
(Yeah, go where it’s comfortable.)
“He said to transfer him some money too, he won’t be able to return to Thailand without money.”
(If he’s out of money, what has that got to do with me, the tickets are already expensive.)
“I don’t know, that’s what he told me.”
(Alright, alright, I’ll transfer it.)
(Hill, how’s the junior doing?)
Junior?
Me?
Phii Joe is asking about me…
Phii Hill glanced at me briefly before turning back to the phone conversation with Phii Johan.
“He’s good, why don’t you talk to him yourself?”
(Better not, I need to finish the work first.)
“Don’t want to talk?” (No, but if I do, I’ll just want to come back even more. Just hearing his voice, I want to drop everything and come back. That day, I almost booked a flight back to Thailand.)
“The junior misses you too.”
(Really?)
“You sound like you don’t believe it.”
(No, just thought if he misses me as much as I miss him.)
Phii Hill turned to look at me with a slight smile. I clenched my lips tight to suppress the feeling that was swelling in my chest right now. Why does just hearing his voice, just hearing that he misses me, make my heart beat so intensely?
(Hill, why are you quiet?)
“No reason.”
(Okay, just tell him about the exam scores.)
I remembered that the physics score, which Phii Joe had tutored me for, turned out quite bad. Usually, I don’t worry too much about grades, but because I had asked him to tutor me, I felt really guilty when the results were poor. I was afraid he might be angry, especially since he had put in a lot of effort to teach me well, but I just couldn’t remember the formulas during the exam.
“Say what?”
(Don’t worry about it.)
(You did well.)
!!
Suddenly, the feelings that had been bottled up inside me burst forth. I bit my lip tightly before resting my forehead against Ter’s shoulder, who was sitting next to me, as if seeking comfort. Ter gently patted my head.
It was longing. I could feel it was longing. I missed his voice, his embrace, his touch, everything, especially his kindness and warmth that I always received. Phii Hill talked with Phii Joe for a while before hanging up. Ter didn’t say anything, just let me lean on him for a bit before I sat back up.
“I thought you were going to cry.” Ter said.
“I’m not going to cry.”
“You looked like you were about to, oh dear, poor little doggy.” he said, patting my head again with a look of affection. What’s with this, does he enjoy petting people’s heads?
“Again, calling me a dog again.”
“It’s really like that, North, you are like a dog left at home alone by its owner.”
“See, all of you.” I said, making a grumpy face, wondering if they had all coordinated this, all saying the same thing. “How many more days until he comes back?” I turned to ask Phii Hill and Phii Fah.
“Oh, probably about eight more days.” Phii Hill answered.
“Wow, eight more days.” I said before letting out a sigh. By the time he gets back, it’ll be like waiting for Day’s sports event. Because I’ve never missed anyone this much before, I feel the wait is torturous. I’m not fond of feeling this way either, it’s kind of draining, but I’m not sure what to do about it, really.
“Joe wants to come back too, you can tell from what he said.” Phii Hill remarked. I gave a slight smile in acknowledgment. Right…we’ll see each other soon.
If we meet, can I get a hug, I wonder…
Three days have passed…
Finally, the day of the engineering faculty’s gear event has arrived. It’s around 5 PM now, and the concert will start at about 10 PM. The performers include students from various years, and of course, not us. Our job is to watch over the booth. Actually, it’s a random draw to decide who has to man the booth, and unfortunately, Skater’s name was drawn. So, all four of us had to come, what a stroke of bad luck. “The event’s about to start, North, hurry up!”
“Yeah, I know. Give me a moment!” I shouted back. Currently, I was sitting behind the booth squeezing lemons. Seriously, why do we have to sell butterfly pea and lemon water? Who came up with this idea? My hands are all worn out from squeezing lemons!
“Who thought of this? My hands are sore as hell.”
“Stop complaining, North. Look at me.” Duennao called out from the other side. I burst out laughing immediately after seeing his condition. Duennao was sitting with Skater, peeling coconuts. “Where am I peeling? The knife almost cut my hand. Damn, couldn’t we sell something simpler? Why coconut water?”
“Our faculty’s girls suggested natural drinks for health and weight loss: coconut water, butterfly pea with lemon, roselle, and pandan water.” Kyu explained while arranging items, while he himself went to buy bubble tea from another department’s booth.
“Wow.”
“Yeah, how did they even come up with this idea? The ones doing the work are us. Kett, you unlucky bastard, you actually drew your own name.” I said irritably. Lemons used to smell nice to me, but now their scent just stings my nose.
“Hey, what did I do wrong? I didn’t want to sit here peeling coconuts either. At least we ordered them; they didn’t tell me to go climb trees at the agriculture department to get them. I’d really cry if they made me do that.”
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