NORTHHOWMUCHISYOURLOVE, Chapter 12 part 2
“Phii, I want to talk to you.” I tried again, knocking one more time, but there was still no reply.
“Is there a spare key?” I turned to ask Aunt Da, who shook her head gently.
“The young master doesn’t allow us to make spare keys.”
“Phii Johan.” I let out a big sigh. If you’re in there, just give me a little response, won’t you? Or have you gone out?
“Phii, are you inside?” I continued knocking on the door while calling out to the owner of the room for a while.
“Auntie Da!”
!!
Phii Joe’s voice came from the other side of the door. Hearing this, Auntie Da hurried over immediately.
“Yes?”
“Please take him back to his room.”
“Let’s go back, the young master has given orders.” Auntie Da said with a troubled expression before reaching out to gently pull my arm.
“Phii Joe, can we talk? I’m sorry. I know you’re angry.”
“…”
“Please talk to me.”
Now I felt like I was being stubborn somehow, even though it was clear from his tone that Phii Joe didn’t want to see me. Auntie Da let go of my arm with a heavy sigh, probably because I wouldn’t leave.
“…”
“It might be better if we don’t talk, but it’s my fault, and I feel extremely guilty.”
“Otherwise, I’ll just stand here.”
“Phii Joe…”
“Can you hear me out, please?”
“Go back.”
“Phii…”
“If I see you right now, I’m not sure I can control myself.”
“…”
“Do you think you can handle that?”
“Please open the door for me.”
From the sound of his voice, it was clear Phii Johan was very close. The door opened soon after. I was pulled inside without any time to prepare, hearing the door slam shut behind me. The room was pitch black, and before I could think any further,
“Ugh.” I was gently pushed against the wall. Though I couldn’t see clearly due to the darkness, the person in front of me was Phii Johan. I looked up at him in confusion, and then Phii Joe leaned closer.
“I warned you.”
His words were spoken in a whisper, almost inaudible. As he got closer, I instinctively closed my eyes, feeling the soft touch of his lips against mine. I unintentionally allowed the kiss, letting it deepen.
It didn’t last long before he pulled back.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stop this?”
I didn’t reply, my heart starting to race in a way it hadn’t for a long time. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the dim light.
This was the first time I’d seen him up so close.
His eyes…
So beautiful.
“Ugh.” I let out another soft moan when Phii Johan leaned in again, this time pressing his lips against mine more forcefully than before, his hot tongue exploring, biting down until I felt the pain. I instinctively gripped his shirt tightly. I didn’t know how long it lasted, but when I started to feel breathless, Phii Joe still didn’t stop.
“Ugh.” I tried pushing him away, but I lacked the strength. Phii Johan then used his other hand, not holding mine, to push the back of my head, bringing us even closer together.
My heart was beating so hard I feared it might burst out of my chest, feeling as if all my energy was being drained away, barely able to stand. I pounded on his chest to make him stop.
“Umm.” I pushed with all my might, but it had no effect. The lack of air was becoming torturous, and finally, Phii Johan slowly withdrew his lips, his beautiful eyes still locked on mine, drawing my gaze irresistibly.
“I told you from the start.”
“…”
“If you thought you couldn’t handle it, you shouldn’t have come close to me in the first place.”
I didn’t know how to respond, my mind was all foggy, breathing rapidly because now my heart was working hard, my mouth felt numb, causing me to clench my lips tightly, still feeling like I was being kissed, before tasting the faint flavor and scent of blood.
Did he kiss me so hard that my lips split?
“…”
“Phii…hey!” Suddenly, Phii Johan lifted me up and threw me onto the bed. Startled, I tried to get up but was held down. “Wait…just a second.”
“What?”
“I need to ask something.”
Before I could get an answer, my hands were pinned to the bed, and he kissed me again, this time just as forceful as before. I felt like I could taste more blood than before, but Phii Johan didn’t seem to care much about that. The rough contact made me want to turn my face away, but I couldn’t escape.
His strong hand gripped my chin when I tried to resist.
“Uh, Phii, stop.” I closed my eyes tightly out of fear, breathing heavily when he momentarily pulled away, but soon he leaned down to press his lips against mine again.
“Ahh.” Suddenly, my whole body felt hot. The rhythm of his kisses and the sensations I experienced for over ten minutes, those embarrassing sounds, the trembling flesh over my heart. I was breathing in and out even though Phii Johan hadn’t stopped kissing me. The warm breath of the person in front of me gently brushed my cheek and ear.
Not gentle at all.
Only that first kiss was gentle…
I tried to squirm to get free from the person holding me down. I didn’t know why he was so strong, and Phii Johan himself didn’t seem like he was going to let me go easily either.
“That’s enough…uh.” Phii Johan didn’t give me a chance to protest further, instead, he pressed his lips down harder. With my free hand, I tried to push and hit him away, but of course, it was ineffective.
Scary…
After a long while, the person in front of me finally pulled his lips away. I looked at Phii Johan with displeasure, but when I met his eyes again, I instinctively looked away.
Why does he look at me like that…
“…” I clenched my lips to chase away the numbness, it felt like we had been kissing for so long that I could still feel it, as if he hadn’t really stopped kissing me. I wanted to protest, but no words came out because Phii Johan had warned me before. But I was the one who didn’t leave as he had suggested.
But…
Who would have thought it would be like this…
Ugh…
It hurts!!
I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Phii Johan leaned down and left a mark on my neck forcefully without me being ready, then looked up into my eyes.
“Wh…what are you doing!”
“Just hugging.” Phii Joe said before standing up and pulling me into his embrace, making me sit on his lap and hug me from behind, tightening his hold until I felt constricted.
“This is…” I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts, but my composure scattered again when Phii Joe nuzzled against the back of my neck and shoulders.
“Phii!”
“What?”
“What are you playing at?”
“Not playing.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Do I really need to explain?”
“…”
“I like you.”
“That’s it.”
!!! “What’s wrong?” “Phii…why are you so straightforward about this?” “I thought you knew.” “I knew, but like, hey, give me a chance to prepare.” I complained a bit, and that seemed to lighten the mood of the other person slightly.
“…”
“Why did you kiss me…earlier?” I asked, lowering my head, embarrassed to ask such a direct question. My heart was still beating hard…
“Why?”
“I had to ask why. Are you not afraid I’d get angry?”
“You’re not angry.”
“How do you know!”
“You don’t look angry.” Phii Johan said, pressing his nose against my shoulder again. I flinched and tried to move away, but he held me tight.
“Stay still.”
“Ordering me?”
“Yes.”
“Won’t do it.”
I said before trying to struggle again, but he only held me tighter.
“I told you not to be stubborn.”
Suddenly, silence enveloped the room. I could only hear the sound of my own heart beating loudly. Damn it. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and Phii Johan didn’t say anything either. He just rested his forehead on my shoulder.
I didn’t know why, but I felt like he was trying to handle his emotions, as if he didn’t want to be too harsh with me anymore. I noticed his hands, which were holding me, were shaking, and his breathing was uneven, probably because he was trying to control his anger. But still, Are you not wanting to be harsh anymore? My lips hurt so much now… “Well…what I wanted to talk about was.” I spoke up to break the silence, feeling that both Phii Johan and I were starting to calm down. When I say I was calming down, I meant my heart wasn’t pounding so hard it felt like it would burst out.
“Mh?”
“I’m sorry. Even though you told me not to go, I still sneaked out.”
“Hmm, I know.”
“You knew I sneaked out?”
“Yes.”
“Since when?”
“The first day.”
“Wow.” I let out a sigh, realizing that all my efforts to keep it secret had been futile from the very first day. “Then why didn’t you get angry about the lying?”
“I did get angry.”
“…”
“But seeing how determined you were, I let you go.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hmm.”
“And for causing trouble, and I want to thank you for coming to help…last night, I mean, I…” I tried to say what I had intended from the beginning, but suddenly, words failed me as if something was stuck in my chest.
“I’m listening.”
“Okay, Phii Day…Day, it seems like he liked me from the start. He took my phone at some point, and by the time everyone had left, that’s when…that happened.” “What did he do exactly?” “Uh, well…kissed me, and before that, he was a bit touchy.” “What?” “He squeezed my lips, my cheeks, patted my head, but I told him I didn’t like it.”
“And the kiss?”
“Ugh. I was grossed out.”
“Do you feel the same about my kiss?”
“…”
“I didn’t…feel bad, sir.” I said softly after reflecting on it. I didn’t feel that bad; what I felt was shock, fear, and my lips hurt more than anything else. If you ask about my feelings, it’s not bad, but it’s not good either.
But if you ask if his kiss was good…
It had to be good, right…
Phii Johan is really good at kissing.
“At first, I didn’t plan on doing that. I didn’t want to be like him, but you didn’t stop me.”
“Oh…okay.” Is that because I didn’t stop him?
“What else did he do?”
“Nothing else, except his friends hit my stomach.”
“Hmm.”
“If I hadn’t come, do you know what would have happened?” Phii Johan’s voice was stern, making me startle. His deep, low whisper close to my ear sent a chill through my body, “I told you from the start. But you still lied.”
“…”
“If I hadn’t found out you lied. If no one was there last night.”
“You know, right?”
“…” Scary… Why do I feel this scared? I stiffened when Phii Johan tightened his embrace, and one of his hands that was holding mine squeezed tighter.
“…”
“I…didn’t mean…” Before I could finish my sentence, Phii Johan loosened his grip and threw me back onto the bed again. When he straddled me like this, it felt like I was forced not to avert my gaze.
“You didn’t mean to lie?”
“…”
“On that day, you didn’t pick up the call, didn’t you?”
“Phii…” I called out softly, hesitantly. “I was scared you’d be angry. That day when you brought me back to the dorm, you were really intimidating.” That day was scary, but now it’s even more so…
“You didn’t explain why you didn’t want me to work.”
“It’s because I was worried.”
“…”
“Couldn’t you have guessed that?”
!!
He’s so blunt about it now?
“Uh…well, I…” I was at a loss for words, unsure of what to do. Why is Phii Johan acting like this? I’m definitely going to die here. I’ve never seen him in this mode before. That’s enough. If my heart beats any harder, it’ll explode.
“Quit all your jobs.”
“Huh? All of them?”
“Yes.”
“Phii…” I said softly. Quitting the bar job I could understand, but I definitely wouldn’t quit the other two jobs; they weren’t dangerous at all.
“Can I just quit the bar job?” “No.”
“But I still need to work at the other two places.” I started to argue, which seemed to worsen his mood significantly.
“Why?”
“…”
“I need to earn money to pay you back. When I started working at home, I stopped sending money, remember? If I don’t work, I won’t have any money. Not just for paying you back, but even for eating.”
“…”
“Then I won’t accept money from your other jobs.”
“Huh?”
“If you let me hug you, I’ll give you five hundred.”
“…”
“A thousand per kiss.”
“…”
“But if it’s more than that…”
“…”
“Five thousand each time.”
“And you…don’t have the right to refuse either.”
!!!
Wait a second…
I heard that I owe you two hundred thousand!!
And all my debts…
Leave a Reply