MYENGINEER, SPECIAL CHAPTER 3: The Whiskers and Treasures of Bohn
[Duen]
“Duen, let me kiss you.”
Smack
“Ugh!! Annoying!!!”
“You’re so mean, just a little kiss and you say it’s annoying…”
“I’m not annoyed by your scent!” I shouted before pushing his face away, I hate this teasing bastard the most! He knows exactly what I mean, yet he pretends to be clueless.
“Then what is it?”
“Don’t act stupid, you rascal.”
“No, I really don’t know, and if you don’t tell me, how would I know? I don’t have any psychic powers…”
“Go shave your beard, now!!!”
I like leg hair, every time I pray, I ask for manly hair…but not a beard, it’s the only type of hair I truly hate because it’s troublesome, hard, and annoying. When it’s on my own face, it’s irritating enough, but when it’s on Bohn’s face, who always likes to fight with me, it’s even more irritating.
“Your hair is rough, it scratches my cheeks!”
“Hehe.”
“Shave it!”
“No way, I want to keep teasing you for a bit longer, it’s fun.” The more I look, the more annoyed I get.
Now, on the sharp face of my damn boyfriend, there are stubble hairs sprouting like mushrooms. They’re not long, but there’s enough to make his chin look like a light gray, adding another hundred levels to his rough look.
“How many days is ‘a bit’?”
“I don’t know. What do you think? How many days until you have a heart attack and die, huh, good guy?” Bohn whispered before lightly kissing my neck, teasingly. Sorry…same boyfriend, same lips, same kiss spot, but the feelings are totally different. Before it felt thrilling, but now it feels like I’m a Shoraya being teased by a wild version of Kritsada. No, damn it!
“Stop!”
“You really hate it that much?”
“Very much, I hate it second only to ginger and raisins!”
“Why? Isn’t it exciting?”
“No, it’s not exciting at all.”
“But I like it, it makes me look sharp.” After saying that, Bohn stroked his chin as a gesture. I wasn’t sure if he really liked it or just wanted to annoy me since this was the first time I’ve seen him keep his whiskers…yes, ever since he found out I hate hair.
“You’re already sharp without the whiskers, why keep them?”
“Is that really a compliment, or are you just looking for a reason to make me shave?”
“Really, man.”
“Liar…I can see through that.” “…” Another smartass.
“I’m going to class, see you tonight, love.” The tall figure slung his bag over his shoulder and waved goodbye, but before leaving, he didn’t forget to annoy me by leaning down to kiss my cheek again. This time, he deliberately pressed harder for longer…I clenched my fist! I said I don’t like it. Don’t like it. Don’t like it. Don’t like it, damn it!
“Ah, you bastard! You’re dead!”
“Heh, catch me if you can, then you can kill me.” Bang
So damn arrogant…so disrespectful, you rascal.
I’ve stored this grudge as fuel for when I get the chance, just wait. When my turn comes, I won’t hold back…let’s see, I need to find out what I can do about this first.
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: How do you make someone shave their whiskers?
Phii PhuFizzyFoulMouthedButFierce: You need to specify what their relationship is to you.
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: Is that important?
TingtingBeautifulPersonCuteandAlsoBeautiful: It’s important. How would we know what rights you have over his whiskers without knowing how close you are?
“Does it matter…but yeah, it seems to matter.” I typed and deleted several times until it was just, ‘…’, hesitant about telling them, but whatever, I’ve been teased my whole life.
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: My boyfriend.
Phii TangAGoodPersonHasMoneyButStillLonelyGrumpyGrumpy: Which one?
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: Do I have more than one?!
TingtingBeautifulPersonCuteandAlsoBeautiful: Which one, then?
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: The one wearing my cologne, you bastards.
Even if I can’t see their faces, believe me, they’re grinning wickedly right now. Is it fun to make me talk about this? Damn…I thought I wouldn’t get embarrassed anymore, but my face turns red with just a little teasing.
Ram: Why do you want him to shave?
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: It hurts.
Phii TangAGoodPersonHasMoneyButStillLonelyGrumpyGrumpy: What hurts? When did you become his chin?
Phii PhuFizzyFoulMouthedButFierce: He wasn’t born as his chin, but the moaning might not be certain, huh.
Tingting, BeautifulPersonCuteandAlsoBeautiful: You don’t understand, Tang, I’ll tell you, the reason it hurts is because he got scratched by his beard when they were fucking, I bet his butt got scratched by the beard, trust me.
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: You perverts! [sends middle finger picture]
Oh, I was wrong to ask for advice from them.
Ram: Did you tell him, but he still won’t shave?
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: Yeah, he’s using it to tease me.
Ram: Who has more rights over the beard, him or you?
“The beard…” I scratched my head after reading Ram’s message. Even though he speaks Thai fluently, sometimes he says or writes strange things. Yeah, understandable, he’s half-Thai after all.
Phii PhuFizzyFoulMouthedButFierce: Does that mean you can do anything to his beard without him getting mad?
DuenhawHandsomeCoolAndSillyButTrulyinLove: Of course, this is me we’re talking about.
Ram: Then go shave it…when he’s not looking.
Genius, why didn’t I think of that!
I went looking for something to eat that would make someone sleepy. (Besides sleeping pills) I concluded that bananas and chocolate are the best options. The book says phenylethylamine in chocolate makes you sleepy. Meanwhile, serotonin and norepinephrine in bananas help the body release happiness hormones. If you eat too many bananas, you’ll feel lazy and not want to move your body.
So…I decided to do that.
“Hello, Bohn.”
(Say)
“After class, come straight home today.”
(Why, do you miss me, huh?)
“Uh-huh.” I miss your whiskers so much, I want to shave them off right now
(…)
“Don’t eat anything yet, I has made something for you to eat.” Ha! If you’ve eaten since the start, there won’t be any room in your stomach for Phii Duen’s poison.
(What. If I knew you’d look this cute with whiskers, I would’ve grew them until my toes.)
“…You’re evil.”
(Heh, what was that? The machine noise was too loud earlier…Boss, quiet down, I’m talking to my wife//heh, eeeek//damn you, Boss!!!!)
“Come back soon…I can’t wait anymore.” Can’t wait to commit mass murder on those jerks, huh
(…I’ll come back now//where are you going, you rascal…we’re in a workshop//I’m not plastering anymore, Ibetter to go sin at the condo.) I thought he was joking, but he really did it…
“Do you miss me, huh?” Before I could even close the door, the tall figure rushed over to shower my face with kisses like we hadn’t seen each other in ages. I really wanted to kick him away, but I had to keep my composure or the mood would be ruined…Phii Duen is really a genius.
“Uh.”
“Don’t say anything, or I would’ve skipped class this morning.”
“…You little bastard.”
“Huh?”
“You would’ve missed school.” I hugged him back, burying my face in his strong chest to hide my own expression…I will hit you for this, your parents sent you to study, but you want to skip for something like this? Just wait until this is over, I’ll tell your mom at home! “Are you tired? Want to take a shower first?”
“Heh, Duen will get lonely.”
“…” Please. What kind of personality do you think I have, you bastard?
“And what have you prepared for me?”
I smiled instead of answering, leading him by the hand…guiding my dazed boyfriend to the balcony where I had set up a pot full of chocolate. Next to it, there were bananas, bread, and beautifully skewered strawberries.
Yes, sir. I’m going to drug him with chocolate fondue.
“What’s the mood?”
“Don’t like it?…I used unsweetened chocolate.” I was very worried about my plan failing because he’s not into sweets. So, I slightly changed the ingredients, but the effect remains the same. Here, I added bread as part of the poison, too. Rapid carbohydrates will stimulate the pancreas to release a lot of insulin, causing a spike in blood sugar and eventually sleepiness.
No matter how you look at it, there’s no escape, huh.
“I like everything you make for me.”
Thump, thump
Damn…keep your cool, comrade, don’t be swayed by this beard.
It’s super easy to make Bohn fall for it. Just a little cuteness, some sweet talk, and he’ll agree to anything. Look at now. I’m resting my chin on my hand with a smile, watching my prey eat the poisonous food. It’s great, eat the banana.
And the bread too, don’t worry, Phii Duen will handle it, I’ll coat it with three layers of chocolate, even Magnum ice cream can’t compete.
“Enough, Duen…”
“Oh, okay.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Nah, not me.” If I eat, I’d be knocked out too…I even brought strawberries to keep me awake, afraid the plan would fail.
“You made it yourself but don’t eat?”
“…Just watching you eat is enough for me.” Keep smiling, Duen.
“With such sweet talk, what do you want, huh?”
“I want Bohn to eat a lot.” I want to look at my reflection in the pot and say, ‘You did well, Mathusar.’
“I’m not used to this, ha ha.” The prey covers his mouth, laughing softly, the smile on his face so warm it makes my fellow comrade work hard again. Hey, you have no right…to look at me with those sun-like warm eyes, you scoundrel.
“Bohn.”
“Huh?”
“Are you sleepy yet?”
“Nope.”
Damn, it’s been almost half an hour, why hasn’t my poison taken effect yet? The amount he consumed is equivalent to a bodybuilder’s meal…or maybe it’s because of the position. Can’t we sit on the sofa?
“Sit on my lap?”
“…Seriously, what do you want? I really can give you anything.”
“I want you to sit on my lap.”
“That’s strange.” The engineering student narrowed his eyes in surprise but agreed to use my lap as a pillow, even giving my leg a little peck. Fine, anything goes if Nong Bohn is sleepy…I apologize in advance for having to be this harsh, Phii Duen, huh.
“Can you grab the hair tie from the drawer? My hair is scratching my face.”
“Uh-huh, which drawer?”
“The second one.”
I reached for the hair tie as he requested. Ever since he lost the bet with Phii Tee, he’s been so engrossed in work that he hardly takes care of himself, whiskers overgrown, pimples popping up (just one under the eye, so weird, looks like a charm mole). His hair is almost as long as Ice,
Panuwat’s, long enough to tie up…not good at all. Very bad for my heart. “Tie it for me.”
“…”
“Such a chore.”
“Huh?”
“Sure…my pleasure.” I forced a smile, my eyes squinting, even though I quickly stuck my tongue out at him when he wasn’t looking. Using me as a slave, huh? Now’s my chance to get even.
“Why are you speaking so softly today? Speak up a bit.” After saying that, he sat up for me to tie his hair into a man bun. Once it was done, he slumped back onto my lap as usual…You’re quite long, aren’t you, hair tie, but good thing you’re on Bohn’s head and not bothering my eyes.
Otherwise, you’d be shaved off like the whiskers are going to be today, huh.
Hmm
“What’s this notebook?” I had put away the comb and found some notebook, it’s thick and has a faint, pleasant scent…smells familiar, like I’ve smelled it somewhere before.
“Treasure.”
“?”
“Open it.”
Curiosity made me follow his instructions so easily, thinking it would be a diary, but instead, it was full of pictures. Wow. From high school times, huh…is this Phii Boss and Phii Merk? Funny, what a character…hey, is this from the freshman welcome? Shit, Phii King so cool, hundreds of photos stuck in the book without any captions. Not even dates, but it’s enough to show that the owner values everyone.
“Why isn’t there anything written?”
“Do I look like a detailed person?”
“Then why are there only pictures of others? There’s not even one of you.” There’s Ben, there’s Auntie, Phii Boss, Phii King, Phii Merk, everyone except himself. What’s this? I want to see little Saweena from the bald head days.
“If there were pictures of me, who would take them?”
“Yeah…you psycho. You’ve taken so many photos of me, haven’t you?” Damn. You could open a gallery with my photos…are there a hundred? Damn it, there’s even a picture of me sleeping in the public park, from the first day we met…hey, where did this picture come from! And who took this picture while I was cooking, why is it from below like a kid took it! And this picture, this one, and this one too, when did you take them!
“I look weird, don’t take pictures when I’m not aware.”
“If I ask, will you let me take photos of you?”
“No way.”
“See, that’s why I have to sneak.”
“You bastard…” The white hand paused when it flipped to the second half of the book, which was the source of a familiar smell…how could it not be familiar? I’m the one who gave them to him.
“You…kept all of these?”
“Uh, sorry for not being able to keep the flowers intact.”
Thirty dried petals were taped down with clear tape, with numbers noted below each one. If I had to guess, it would be the sequence and dates, ‘1: 2/4/xx’, ‘2: 3/4/xx…I covered my eyes with my hand, unable to stop my lips from smiling. It’s fitting for him, some left blank because he couldn’t remember which day he got them, ha ha.
“This is crazy enough, don’t keep the whole flowers. Just the little roses are enough.”
“Seriously, I once thought of trying to grow the flowers you gave me, even sent them to King’s lab.”
“And then what happened, did they grow?”
I rested my chin, looking at the person lying on my lap, he immediately furrowed his brows at the question, his face looking hilariously funny.
“If they grew, you’d see them, right?”
“Ha ha.”
“King said it’s been too long, the cells are dried out, something like that, it’s so damn sad…I should’ve thought of this sooner, ugh.” Before the other could finish speaking, I leaned down to shut him up, stop talking so much, you damn rascal, stop making me feel like there’s a flower growing in my stomach.
You’re cute, I love you to death…
But cuteness and whiskers are two different matters.
“Bohn.”
“…”
“Bohn, are you asleep?”
“…”
“…”
“…”
Confirmed, the target is fast asleep due to the poison, time for the secret operation…all units in position, razor ready, shaving cream ready, warm water ready, towel ready.
Sssshhhh
“Phii Duen will be gentle, Nong Bohn.” I spread the cream all over his chin. The difficulty is that damn Bohn has both a beard and whiskers, so the white foam covers from the nose down, I just noticed it reaches the jaw.
“Umm…”
“…”
My heart raced when the tall figure moved, his face turning towards me…that smeared some shaving cream onto the pillow. Uh, not just a little, it’s a long streak, but this can be managed…right?
“Shh, sleep, you little shit.”
“…”
Seems like my magic spell (?) is working, Bohn’s breathing is becoming regular. I can hear the sound of it…I slowly used the razor to shave off those things blocking the view. The moment the razor swept them away smoothly was the moment I felt the most satisfaction in the world. If I uploaded a clip to YouTube titled “The Most Satisfying Video In The World.” there would definitely be a lot of viewers. I’d be one of those watching it on repeat, huh.
Feed…
Damn it.
The atmosphere in the room was icy. A moment ago, I was lost in thought, which led to me not concentrating and accidentally shaving off half of the beard…can this be fixed?
Might as well shave the other side to match, so there’s no discrepancy.
With that thought, I tried to do the same on the other side, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t match. One side would end up longer, so I’d shave the other side, only for that side to then look longer, creating a cycle. In the end, there was no beard left to shave.
“Bald face, damn…” I muttered to myself. Now I’ve wiped off all the cream with a damp cloth. Whether this is good or bad, I don’t know. Not having a beard isn’t a big deal, but before, Bohn had one, and now, suddenly without it, his face looks…
“Looks hilarious, like a boiled egg, ha ha ha.”
But it’s okay, at least there’s no beard to scratch my cheeks now. What happens after this, I’ll let him handle. I’ve done what I thought was best, hehe.
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