MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 65: All of me
[Bohn]
“Bohn…ugh, I’m not ready.”
“Come on, it’s natural…don’t stress out.”
“How can I not stress out! School starts in four days!! Wah, I’m not ready!” After whining, he squirmed around. We were lying on the couch in front of the TV. Can’t believe school starts in just a few days. God…I haven’t adjusted yet, I’m still sleeping past midnight.
Duen has moved in with me. Ever since he’s been here, my rough life has become more adorable. We’ve been so sweet to each other that ants have started building nests…when did that happen? Since we’ve been living together, I feel like we’ve gotten more hardcore, with physical force and violence…I have to say, it’s just Duen, when he’s embarrassed, he likes to hit me, when we argue, he punches my stomach, I swear this is what lovers do.
Huh, you want to know where Duen sleeps?
…With his boyfriend, of course, hah.
“I feel the same, should we just be useless today?” My life with him has nothing to do, to the point that we’re just lying idly in front of the TV, when we realized university was about to start, our hearts trembled saying, ‘I’m not ready’, our minds said, ‘We can start doing something. Do something useful like reading books’, but our bodies protested, ‘I’m lazy, let me lie here and be worthless like the madmen under the red roof…’
And of course, Duen and I chose to listen to our bodies.
“Like you do every day?” the other person looked up and asked, their face unusually fair and smooth these days. I haven’t seen them use any cream or anything; it can’t just be because they haven’t left the house. I haven’t been going out either, and my skin isn’t as fair as theirs.
“Uh, hahaha.” I laughed out loud. Our daily routine doesn’t have much excitement: wake up, shower, brush teeth, eat the meal Duen cooks, laze around on the sofa, shower in the evening, and then at night, scroll on FB or Line, and go to bed at one in the morning…But of course, Duen, the healthconscious one, goes to bed at 9 PM, which is late for him.
“I’m thirsty, I’ll be right back.” After saying that, they got up. The heat was scorching everything, hellishly hot. One more minute and I’d be burnt…Please, sun, show some respect to the air conditioner at level twenty.
Rrrrr
I was about to doze off. Who’s calling at this time? If they’re calling to invite me out, I’m not going, no way. I’m hot, I’m tired, I just want to be alone with my wife.
‘Mom’
Mom?
“Yes, Mom.” I said into the phone before sitting up properly. How long has it been since I last called Mom? The last time was when I told her I was moving into the condo. I’ve been cut out of the inheritance.
Maybe.
(Tonight, bring your girlfriend home for dinner.)
“…Huh?!” …How did she know? Must be those three.
(No excuses, no running away. Otherwise, I’ll come and drag you by the neck myself.)
“I won’t run, Mom. I’m just a little surprised, that’s all.” I answered, looking at Duen who had just returned but didn’t say anything, probably seeing that I was on a call and didn’t want to disturb.
(Are you going to bring her?)
“Yes.” After saying that, I pulled my beloved into my lap.
“Ah…you bastard!” he muttered, lightly hitting my shoulder. Looking closer, his skin seemed even fairer. Are you secretly eating Omo behind the cabinet?
(Good, Mom hasn’t seen you in a while. I heard you moved to the condo. That’s why you’ve been out of touch.) Is Mom going to scold me for being too attached to my girlfriend? But it’s true, hahaha.
“You miss me, huh?” I teased, watching Duen to see what he’d do…but he just looked up and then went back to sleep as usual. Hey, normally, you’d be jealous like, ‘Who are you talking to, you cheater?’
(Heh, yeah, bring some friends too. I will arrange a small gathering in the backyard, so your girlfriend won’t be too stiff.) “Oh, sure, I’ll invite them too.
(That’s all for now, I am gonna go prepare the barbecue stuff first.)
Click
Wait a minute…you’re going to cook yourself, huh = = ?
==
It’s probably not that, huh…but wait, isn’t it common for parents to test their daughter’s husband with food? But in this case, I would be the wife, right?
“Hey.”
“Huh?”
“Aren’t you going to ask who I was talking to?” I asked the person lying on my lap, we use the same body wash, but why does Duen smell better, I have no idea.
“Shh. It’s your personal business.” He replied while we were still looking into each other’s eyes; now he doesn’t let me touch him much, the most I get is him lying on my lap, but if I want to do more, I have to wait until he’s sleepy because when he’s sleepy he becomes more clingy.
“Aren’t you jealous at all? What if I had a side chick?” I teased, knowing the person in front of me is reasonable, but sometimes I want him to be jealous…not like that silent treatment from before, it was scary.
“Do you have one?” He raised his eyebrows to ask. From his tone, it was clear he was just asking casually. Should I be happy that my lover trusts me or sad that he doesn’t express his feelings often?
“Huh, I only love you.” After saying that, I leaned down to kiss his cheeks several times until Duen burst out laughing. Whose boyfriend smiles so brightly?
“Ha ha, stop it, you brat!” He pouted, pushing my face away with his hand. I could see you were holding back your smile, don’t act tough.
“Soft cheeks…soft lips too.”
“What are you talking about?” He stopped smiling and turned his head away. Even if you turn away, I can still see your face is red, red all the way to your ears, Krit.
“They really are soft…come on, let’s go to the bedroom.” I shrugged, carrying him up before heading to my main bedroom.
“Hey! Why are you carrying me?”
“I feel like it, so I did. No big deal.” I answered expressionlessly. Not forgetting to raise my eyebrows at the end for extra teasing, the result was a big lump on my head.
“Bohn, let go, I’m heavy, man!”
“I won’t let go, I’m practicing.”
“Practicing what?”
“Practicing carrying the bride into the bridal chamber.” I said, stooping down to give a sly smile to my conversation partner.
“Get off me, you bastard!” Hearing that, he squirmed free. Where did he get that strength from, you asshole? Your jump was incredible, like an Amazon frog! You really don’t want me to carry you, do you? Are you upset?
“Wow, whatever.” I grumbled after him. Duen turned around to give me the middle finger before flopping down onto the big bed. Just a bit more, and we would’ve reached the bed. What a waste.
Normally, I sleep on the left, and Duen on the right. Even though we sleep together, he doesn’t let me hug or touch him. The most I can do is hold hands while sleeping. Every night, there’s a pillow named Supaprab between us, no crossing the border, no throwing away the pillow, no looking at each other, no sleeping without clothes, no no no.
Sorry, are we dating willingly or under coercion because we’ve been caught?
“Oh…I forgot to tell Boss and the gang.” I remembered after lying down for a while. They always arrange things well in advance. They’re always wandering around.
Bon Ss: Tonight, come to my house for dinner. This isn’t a request, it’s an order.
Phii Boss Now Upgraded: Let’s go, I have new slang to showcase.
Huh…knowing this, I really don’t want you to go, Boss, because you alone made my boyfriend pick up that shitty slang.
Bon Ss: It’s okay to reuse some, recycle…don’t come up with new stuff, I beg you.
The First moment I saw You, Phii Tang wanted to say…Buying You out:
I’m definitely going, since Bohn invited #TrustMeForFreeFood
I really hate your Line name from back then, ‘Thangty’. It was good enough, but now…what’s with “buying you out”? Are you out of names or what?
Bon Ss: Hehe.
Megha: What’s the occasion?
Bon Ss: My mom’s throwing a welcome party for the daughter-in-law. Thanthep King: Shit, my friend you are going to be settled soon!
Phii Boss Now Upgraded: Guess I should warm up my voice for some singing…
Thanthep King: What song, Boss, my friend?
Phii Boss The Same Guy but Updated With a New Twist: This song, anyone got kaffir limes to trade for fish sauce!
Bom: Who has Krit! Come trade for discussion!!
Phii Tee, a Foreigner With a Magnificent Job: Alright, alright, so my discussion friends can get doctor wives, la la la…
The First moment I saw You, Phii Tang wanted to say…Buying You out: Wow. Hehe, wow, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Thanthep, King: Woooooooooooooow
Megha: Heh…v
Damn, Merk…did you type this wrong or on purpose? If you’re going to leave that many dots, regarding the song…I have to comment, you guys planned this, didn’t you?
Bon Ss: I don’t know what to type, brat.
The First moment I saw You, Phii Tang wanted to say…Buying You out: Seems like he’s deeply touched.
Bon Ss: Very much.
Phii Tee, a Foreigner With a Magnificent Job: You invited us because your mom is afraid your daughter-in-law will be too nervous?
Bon Ss: Ah, good one, brat, you get half a baht.
Phii Tee, a Foreigner With a Magnificent Job: Wow, are you afraid I’ll use up all that?
Bom: Does Duen know yet?
Bon Ss: Not yet, I’m about to tell him.
“Duen, let’s have dinner outside tonight.” I moved closer to speak, he still hadn’t stopped playing his game, oh my…score, 100,000. You’ve gone mad.
“Huh, where?”
“My house.”
“Ha!” He held his phone up and turned to look at me.
“Mom wants to meet you.” This is the first time I’m introducing my boyfriend to my parents. In the past, they would secretly investigate. How many boyfriends have I had…not even four, I can’t remember their names or faces anymore.
“Are you…serious?” Duen asked softly, his face showing quite a bit of surprise, I understand.
“Yeah.”
“Why does your mom want to meet me?”
“Seriously, that’s a stupid question. Because you’re my boyfriend.” I flicked his forehead once, accusing him of being dense. Huh…he didn’t snap back like he usually does.
“…I’m stressed.” Duen said worriedly, his eyebrows knotted, biting his lip so much that I had to nudge it to stop because I was afraid he’d draw blood.
“Don’t be scared, my parents are kind.” Really kind, I assure you. I don’t know if they’ll accept me having a boyfriend who’s a guy, but deep down, I feel…they’ll definitely like Duen.
“But I’ve made their son gay.” He whispered so quietly it was almost a whisper, his eyes starting to well up with clear tears. Are you that stressed?
“Is it a crime?” I asked before pulling his face close to kiss his forehead in consolation.
“…I don’t know.”
“Well, if you don’t know, I’ll tell you: loving a guy like you isn’t a crime; I
love you because I want to. What others say or think is their business. They have no right or part in our lives. Don’t worry about anything else…just focus on the fact that we love each other, and that’s enough.”
“But we’re talking about your parents here. Won’t you care about your own parents at all? They raised you, you ungrateful child who values a lover over parents!” Can you not ruin this moment, damn it…
“Asshole. What are you thinking? I mean, if they can’t accept it, I’ll do everything to prove our love, to make them accept us.”
“…”
“They won’t really scold us, don’t make that face, I don’t like it.” I started to frown seeing his stressed expression.
“What if they don’t like me and tell us to break up?” The person in front of me said with a trembling voice, as if he was about to cry. I hate seeing his tears. I also hate when he makes that face.
“If that really happens, would you agree to break up with me?”
“No.”
“Then why worry about it? I’m always on your side anyway.” After saying that, I pulled his slender frame into my arms. I didn’t do anything more than hug him and stroke the back of his neck to help him relax.
That won’t happen…
Thanthep King: We’re waiting at the back of the house.
Bon Ss: Alright, Duen and I are on our way.
“Let’s go.” I said, turning to him and gently grasping his slender hand. Since we left the condo, Duen has been biting his lips all the way. Every time we passed by a fruit shop or a souvenir store, he asked me to stop at each one until now, our hands were full with gift bags – snacks, fruits, Thai fabrics, even back scratchers, it was all too much…but I didn’t want to stop him because his eagerness was quite adorable.
“Could you tell your mom that I got hit by a car suddenly?”
“Cut that out.”
“Like…you…I really don’t want to go in.”
“Calm down.”
“I’m…scared, my heart is pounding.” He took my hand and placed it on his left chest. My hand felt the strong beat of something inside, so strong it felt like it might burst out. I told him not to stress.
“Come on, your mother-in-law isn’t scary.” I teased. I didn’t want my lover to overthink it; I’ve said before that my mom is kind, and my dad…well, he’s the kindest.
“Here already, brother-in-law?”
“I’m going to smack your head.” I said, raising my hand in a mock threat. The person in front of us was Bihn, that idiot, still dressed in the same weird style…hey, this is a good occasion, can’t you dress better, you bastard?
Bihn was wearing an animal costume. Guess what…a crocodile, a green crocodile. Not just any green, but a light lime green. He was bragging to our dad that it could glow too. If I see you walking around at night in that glowing crocodile suit, I’d be shocked. I hate that tail, it’s too long, probably about a meter, what’s that? There’s something printed on the crocodile’s head, ‘Guk Gru’.
Oh, I’m tired…
“Eek, that’s scary.” I hate it.
“Bihn, your costume is nuts, ha ha.” Okay, I don’t hate it anymore. You made my boyfriend laugh.
“Are the others at the back of the house?”
“Yeah…watch out, my parents can be strict.” Before leaving, he leaned in to whisper in Duen’s ear, this bastard, I hate you, that’s right.
“Bohn…see, I told you it would be like this, let’s go back to the condo…” He’s really sensitive.
“Bihn, get lost, you bastard.” I kicked my brother away, but he didn’t seem to care, making a face before running upstairs at high speed.
“Your mom must not like me…”
“Don’t mind what Bihn says, he’s just messing around.”
“I…uh.” Duen seemed like he was about to say something but then closed his mouth and walked to the back of the house with me. Hold on, bird, I’ll deal with you later.
“What’s up, you guys are here now? Were you up to something, coming so late?” Tang teased us as Duen and I arrived at the back of the house.
“I stopped to buy some things, so we were a bit late.” I answered, scanning the area for Mom and Dad. There they are, standing and grilling barbecue. Dad must be the one cooking. Otherwise, these guys wouldn’t dare to eat it. Oh, it’s not just my friends here; there are Phii Tae and Ram’s gang too, quite a crowd. This is good; Duen won’t be so stressed.
“My brother-in-law is so handsome, damn.” Buhn said, holding barbecue in one hand and…what’s that smell in the other? It has a strange logo, ‘Natural Fermented Water by Hia Tee’, damn, Buhn!!
“Buhn, do you know what you’re holding?” I pointed at the clear glass with liquid inside, which looked nice, like syrup, but trust me, the taste must be terrible.
“Uh, yeah, I know, it’s Tee’s fermented water.” he said, pointing at the bottle on the table where the cook was sitting, the liquid matching what was in Buhn’s glass. Huh! Damn, Tee, you brought a whole bottle?
“Have you ever tried Tee’s food?” I asked. Duen looked at the glass and made a disgusted face; he was one of Patharawin’s victims. Seriously, Tee tries to trick everyone who passes by. That one day, a kid went to pick up a ball near him, and he offered sticky rice in bamboo. Not just any sticky rice but one flavored with red roselle and bael fruit. I got goosebumps for the kid, damn.
“Never, this is my first time. He said it’s naturally fermented, no machines or chemicals used, it’s interesting as hell, the smell is okay…damn, it’s pretty good, but this is what natural smells like! Oh!” No machines…so he used manual labor or feet…
“…”
“Forget about me, let’s go pay respects to Mom and Dad.”
“Okay.” I nodded before taking the hand of the person next to me, leading him closer to them. Duen seemed worried but followed obediently.
“Dad, Mom.”
“Oh, you’re here, Bohn. Where’s your girlfriend?” Mom looked behind me, squeezing my hand immediately…he’s right here.
“This is Duenhaw, my boyfriend.” I pushed my partner forward. He let go of the gift bag he was holding and raised his hands to pay respects to my parents, awkwardly.
“…”
“A guy…?”
“…I can’t accept this.”
“…Hey, Mom.”
“Break up with him.”
“Calm down, mom you don’t even know him yet…We really love each other. Even if you and Dad tell me to break up, I’m still going to be with him.” I said with a serious expression. My conversation partner was also looking at me with a serious face, arms crossed. What’s this about…
“How do you know he loves you?” My dad asked in turn. The person being referred to squeezed my hand even tighter, damn it. I hate this atmosphere, it’s so suffocating.
“He told me.”
“Oh. He might have just said it, words can’t always be trusted.” I had never seen my dad like this before. Normally, he’s the kindest and most understanding parent.
“I…I love him.”
“How can I believe your words?” My dad turned to ask my lover, his gaze scrutinizing through his glasses.
“Bohn brings color to my life. He makes me happy, makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me feel good having him by my side. I want to continue loving Bohn as my boyfriend. I don’t know how else to convince you except to say I truly love Bohn.” Despite Duen speaking to my dad, my heart was racing. He was talking about me, ‘I want to continue loving Bohn as my boyfriend,’ this sentence made me smile, oh, my heart.
“…”
“Look, see? I told you, Dr. Duen is adorable. I liked him from the moment we met. Besides being kind and having a good character, he truly loves you, he’ll be my fourth son.”
Mom ran over and grabbed Duen’s cheeks.
Wait a minute…?
“Yes, yes, ouch…my cheeks hurt from holding in my smile for so long.” After he finished speaking, my dad exhaled in relief, and everyone around us continued eating as if nothing had happened…what was all this about?
“Dr. Duen, remember me, no, I mean, remember I; your mother in law and mom…Do you remember me from when we met? When Ben kissed Daonuea?” Mom patted her chest with one hand and held Duen’s arm with the other. When Ben kissed Dao…Oh. When that little troublemaker first came to Thailand, right? How long ago was that with Duen? At that time, I couldn’t even get Duen to like me yet.
“Ah…I remember.” He nodded lightly; he must be confused by what was happening, and not just him. I was confused too.
“I didn’t think the world could be this small, this must be fate, come on, let’s go have some barbecue, what’s this, gifts? So cute, you bought so much.” After saying that, she dragged my conversation partner away, wait a minute…that’s my boyfriend.
“What was all this about, Dad?”
“Oh, Bihn told your mom and me to pretend we couldn’t accept your relationship.”
“…”
I’m going to wring Bihn’s neck…
That’s why Boss was holding back his laughter so much that he was shaking; he knew about this, damn you, Bihn…You’re going to face double, no, triple the trouble, you cheeky bastard.
“Don’t be mad at him; he just wanted to see how your boyfriend would react when we couldn’t accept it.”
“There was no need to do this…my boyfriend is sensitive.”
“Oh, I couldn’t stand seeing him look so sad.”
“This is love…I want to see him smiling all the time.”
“…”
“Why are you silent, Dad?”
“I was just surprised. Honestly, I didn’t quite believe that you could love like someone like human.”
“I’m human too, Dad…”
“Not like that, I mean, you usually see these things as a bit of a joke. Not serious, you know. I even thought secretly that my second son would be single forever.”
“That’s harsh, Dad.”
“I don’t know how long this love of yours will last, but…thank you for taking love seriously.”
Wow, I’m speechless.
“Or maybe we should thank that person.” Even though it was mentioned vaguely, without pointing out or specifying ‘that person’, we both understood.
“We probably should.”
“Duen, try this one, dear.”
“Yes.”
“And this one too.”
“Uh…ha ha.”
“Eat this skewer too, dear.” Is Mom trying to fatten him up or what? Since we got here, he hasn’t stopped eating.
“Um, thank you.” The other party nodded before taking what my mom offered. If you don’t want it, just tell her, or else you’ll throw up.
“Is it good? I picked it out for you myself.”
“Mom, picking it out doesn’t affect the taste.”
“Shut up, Bohn…What do you say, Duen?”
“It’s delicious.” I could see he was sweating a little, well, this is my mom after all, the mother of Bihn and Buhn, she’s not an ordinary person.
“Dad asked me to come get you Mom.”
“Tell him I am not coming, I wants to stay with my son-in-law.”
“Daughter-in-law.”
“I didn’t know, I didn’t see!” Look at those gestures; who taught you that!
“So, you’re not going then? I heard Dad say something about pots, gas, or something.”
“Yikes! I left the food cooking! It’s surely burnt by now!” After that, she lifted her skirt and ran off like the wind. Was Mom actually a runner before?
“Phew…”
“Were you startled?” I sat down beside him and reached up to brush his hair back. He was sweating so much his hair was wet; he must have been really stressed. I was surprised too, thinking something was off.
“Yeah, my heart was pounding so hard, I thought your parents really wouldn’t be okay with it…”
“I really like what you just said.” I smiled teasingly, but I meant it. I don’t know how to explain the feeling, but I know it made me smile uncontrollably.
“Be quiet, forget about it!” Duen protested, covering his ears as if he didn’t want to hear more, his face slightly red…no, not slightly, as red as the cherry tomatoes on the plate.
‘Bohn brings color to my life. He makes me happy, makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me feel good having him by my side. I want to continue loving Bohn as my boyfriend. I don’t know how to make you believe me except to say that I truly love Bohn.’
“Oops! My hand slipped; I must have accidentally pressed record earlier. That’s really bad of us.” the speaker shook his head pretending to be apologetic, but with a sly smile on his lips. You’re really evil, huh? “You…”
“:)”
“Ben, you imaginative kid! Give it back!” I just found out you call my younger brother that.
“No way. I’m keeping this to negotiate with Mom about Honey.” Ben grinned, shaking the phone in his hand like he was trying to tease his conversation partner. I swear I never taught him that.
“You! Bohn, handle your brother!” When Duen realized he couldn’t do anything, he turned to me. For you, I’d do anything.
“You little scoundrel, give it here…” I extended my hand towards him.
“Will you delete it?”
“Hehe, I want a copy.”
“Bohn!”
“Come on, let’s go find those guys.” I didn’t wait for an answer, dragged him along, and didn’t forget to whisper in my son’s ear, ‘Don’t forget to give it to Dad, you good boy’, the brat nodded silently saying, “Give me some money too.” oh, you money face.
“Go on, both of you, go to the gates of heaven,
Where holy water will pour down, by the hands of the elders,
Go to the bridal chamber, where hearts are awaited,
In this life, I will send you off, to the land of divine bliss, hee…”
“Stop that nonsense, swear that it was singing.” I pushed Boss’s head hard, he was being so vulgar earlier, wrapping the tablecloth around his waist like a skirt and spinning three hundred and sixty degrees, the fabric flying out and looking ridiculous.
“Indeed, our love is old.”
“Yeah, it’s old. Go back to your husband.” The husband was sitting right next to him, yet he’s still clinging to me, soon you’ll get killed by Merk.
“Listen, my husband is sad, Bohn sees new love better than old love like his wife, huh?” Boss clung to his husband’s arm, pretending to be in pain, almost dying.
“Why should I care? Do you care more about your ex, Bohn, than your new one, me…?” Bastard…enough already, I’m still not used to this version of you.
“Matapadidubpubpub.”
“What does that mean?”
“All my life, I only care about you, my love.”
“Sweet talker, heh heh.” The speaker lifted his wife’s chin before pulling him closer, and he didn’t resist, moving in closer himself.
“There’s an empty room on the second floor, the key’s behind the counter, do whatever you want but keep it quiet, my parents might hear.”
“Don’t play games, Bohn. If I do it for real, you’ll be in trouble.”
“—”
“Phii Bohn, hello, brother.” While I was dealing with Boss, my friends, including the idiot, came over to greet me. Actually, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them, but I haven’t gone over to them yet because I’ve been busy with my parents, ha ha.
“Hello, make yourselves comfortable.”
“We’re already comfortable, Phii, this is my friend’s bachelor party before his wedding.” That scoundrel, Phu, huh.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, Nong Duen.”
“Just a bit…”
“Attached to your husband.” Bihn, you…
“Language!”
“Anyway…you look different.” Tingting approached to inspect her close friend. The others followed, forming a circle around Duen like a gathering around a campfire.
“How so?” the person being circled raised his eyebrows to ask. If it’s about looking more handsome, I’d admit it; Duen has become so handsome I don’t even want to take him out anywhere. He’s not just handsome; he’s cute too.
“There’s a strange aura.” Phu touched his chin, looking at the slender figure and furrowing his brows.
“Bohn always says I’ve gotten fairer, and with this haircut, I look even better, hehe.”
“No, that’s not it…”
“What?” Duen raised his eyebrows, questioning the speaker. Tang moved closer to Duen until their faces were almost touching, looking deep into his friend’s eyes.
“It’s the aura of someone about to lose their virginity.”
“…”
“They say people who are about to lose their virginity often look especially alluring, with fairer skin and a pinkish glow. They look cute but will become more radiant and sexy after losing it.” Tang crossed his arms, smiling slyly. Is that so? I thought Duen’s fairer skin and pinkish glow were because he hasn’t been going out. Oh…so that’s what it is.
“Damn!!”
“We’re just saying what we see. Don’t believe us? Ask your boyfriend. He’s with you all the time; he should know better than anyone.” Now it’s my turn.
“Let’s see…Hmm…they’re right about that. You’re about to give yourself to me.” I turned my lover’s face left and right. There’s no such thing as a ‘losing virginity aura’. They’re just teasing Duen, haha.
“Phfft! Don’t mess with me!” He pushed my hands away and pouted. Everyone around burst into laughter at my boyfriend’s cute reaction.
“Ahem, well, today is a good day; my younger brother brought his husband to introduce him to our parents.”
“He’s my wife, damn it! Duen is my wife!!” I shouted to Buhn on what could be called a stage. Not really a stage, just an area raised slightly higher, where his friends were also present.
“My wife.” How many times have I been hit on the shoulder today?
“Forget it, the sound of birds and crows…Where are we at, Tae? Today’s a good day.”
“Oh, right, since today is a good day, I want to dedicate this sweet love song to my younger brother…the song ‘Grilling Snails’!!” God, tell me he’s just joking, Buhn isn’t really going to sing that song, right? I think so…the intro’s already playing.
Oh, my friend, just like we always do,
Gathering for fun, in our free time,
Let’s snack together, in this atmosphere,
Many came for entertainment…”
“Phii Buhn is so cool!” Boss shook my arm, no, no, that’s not it! You like the most vulgar things, it’s good that Phii Tae has already sorted out my brother’s fashion sense, otherwise, I’d have a huge headache…
“Yeah, Phii Buhn is super cool, drinking my natural fermented water and not affected at all.”
“Ugh, who is so cool that it’s heart-wrenching?” King…if you want a good husband, don’t choose Bihn or Buhn…
I sat listening to Buhn and his friends singing away, Duen didn’t stop eating. No, I should say everyone was eating non-stop. Right now, Tang has passed out; he ate so much his stomach got hard.
Ha ha.
“Come on, I’ll sing a funny song for you.”
What kind of song, is there anything worse than ‘Grilling Snails’? This is supposed to be a welcome party for your sister-in-law, not a village festival.
“Bohn, eat this, it’s super delicious, drink up.” The idiot came over holding four skewers of barbecue for me. Don’t they have a plate or something? What if you trip and the skewers stab me in the throat?
“Feed me.” I opened my mouth, and he pouted but complied…well, not really; he shoved half a skewer in, damn, almost stabbed my throat.
“You look like a serial killer, ha ha ha.” He hurt me and then insulted me, brat.
“You look like a criminal too.”
“Me, a criminal? What for?”
“You’re the worst kind.”
“Mon dod tamol mae, pa pa, A pa lang mahalai” Ha, what the hell kind of slang is this? If I heard the last sentence right, it’s ‘A pa lang mahalai,’ right?
“What does it mean, my dear friend?”
“These guys are really annoying.”
“I agree.”
“Leave them be, today is their day.”
“Yeah, that’s how it is with couples, always flaunting their love, walking arm in arm all day without ever pitying us singles. Do they know we secretly give them the middle finger when we see them together?” Don’t talk crap, you bastards. You guys have plenty of partners, especially you, Bom, you’ve got a collection for winter, summer, and rain.
Give your whole life to me
And I’ll give my whole life to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose, I’m winning
Because I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you, oh
Damn, pretending to sing to cover up, making me think it was just noise, but you’ve prepared a sweet song for me, huh? Now that’s what a brother should do.
“I brought you to meet my parents, you know what that means?” I took my lover’s hand and looked at it; his fingers are so slender and beautiful.
“I can guess, but I’m not sure if I’m right.”
“It means I’m very serious about you…and I won’t leave you.”
“Just try leaving. You’ll die for sure.”
“Ha ha.”
Leave a Reply