MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 5: Can I Call You Senior?
[Bohn]
“What’s with you guys?” I turned to look at the three of them; their faces were the epitome of mischief.
“Nothing. Just noticed you’ve been staring at Nong Duen for a while.” Oh my, your voice is so high it could shatter mercury, reaching eight billion decibels, Boss.
“I wasn’t staring.” Truth be told, I knew I was staring. I just thought his white skin matched well with my shop, it looked strangely appealing.
“Oh. Not staring at all…” I really want to slap that smug mouth of yours, Merk. Normally, he’s not this annoying, but when he’s with his ‘wife’ and Tang joins in…this is the colorful dog pack in action.
“He looks so clean and tidy, my little sister might like him…can I flirt with him for her?”
“Go for it.”
“…”
“…This isn’t how it should be.”
“And how am I supposed to feel about this?”
“In principle, when you encounter a situation like this, you have to jump up and say…” Boss made a deep, suave voice like that of an ally character while gently stroking his chin.
“Who would do that!”
“Deaf!”
“Abhiramanee Miprasertsakul, that’s my wife!”
“Who the hell is Abhiramanee Miprasertsakul?”
“Surname, damn it!” Why are they saying it in unison?
“Yeah, that’s right, so why should I act jealous?”
“Aren’t you his boyfriend?” Oh no, what part of your brain came up with that idea, Tang?
“Crazy talk.”
“No?”
“I thought you were dating.”
“What made you think that?” If Duen were my type, I wouldn’t question it, but he’s not. He’s tall, handsome, who would want a boyfriend that’s almost as goodlooking as themselves, that’s insane.
“You brought him to class, even though you never brought anyone before.”
“I didn’t see the need to bring anyone, and I brought this naive one for a reason.” Your reasoning doesn’t count, Boss.
“You’re flirting with Duen.”
“Just joking.” I do this quite often, just not with guys.
“You seem interested in him.”
“…”
“Well done, Merk. You’ve earned points from Bohn.”
“So what? Did you just meet him? Is it love at first sight?” Why are you shouting, Tang? From students not paying attention, now they’re all turning back with mischievous smiles and looks that say, ‘We’ve got you, Bohn.’
“No…”
“Not?”
“I’m not interested.” That was all I said before burying my face to escape the noise, we only met yesterday, just yesterday…it’s too soon to have feelings after just one day.
If I had to describe my feelings towards Duen, I don’t like him, don’t love him, and don’t hate him. I’m interested in his quirky personality; when he smiles, he looks bright and sincere, which is why I like watching him smile. Even if he doesn’t smile at me often, I still like it when he makes an annoyed face or hisses like a cat.
Duen is like an irritable cat, growling when you get close but still allowing you to touch him, he protests when you tell him to do something but ends up doing it anyway. His contradictory nature makes me want to tease him constantly, to do anything that provokes a reaction from him, whether it’s confusion, a smile, laughter, embarrassment, or even anger. Those feelings aren’t enough to call it
‘like.’
Besides, he seems too naive for the world, he doesn’t seem to understand much of this stuff. I think it’s best to let him live a good life, yes, let him be…but if one day I truly start to like him, he’ll have to take responsibility for my feelings. “Wake him up too, we’re going somewhere else.” My friend said because class had ended, the professor had left half an hour ago (apparently, there was some urgent meeting). This little guy is still sleeping. I’ve noticed since we first met, Duen sleeps like he’s rehearsing for death, no snoring, no movement, like he’s not breathing.
“Should I reserve a quickie motel for you, huh?” You’re good at stirring trouble.
“Hey, little guy.” I called softly to the sleeping one. It’s hard to believe that was enough to wake him up.
“Ugh…call me that again and I’ll slap you.”
“Huh.” Just woke up but already so sharp-tongued, better tease him…With that thought, I leaned in until my forehead touched his. Duen, who was initially dazed from waking up, instantly turned to shock.
“Ha…hey!” Bam!
“Ha, ha ha ha.” That was damn funny.
“You bastard! What are you doing?!” Ouch, he’s smaller than me, but why is his hand so heavy?
“That hurts, man.”
“That’s the point, to hurt!” What kind of doctor doesn’t have any ethics, how can you hurt people like that?
“You’re such a sadist.”
“Then you must be a masochist, knowing you’ll get hurt but still wanting to tease me, you crazy bastard!!”
“I’m really hurt, man…” I said with a pained voice while pretending to rub the arm that was hit.
“Serves you right, let’s see it.” Huh.
“How is it? Am I going to die?” I asked as if it were terminal cancer.
“Well…the spot I hit is critical, the nerves here are very delicate. Even a slight impact can cause the blood vessels around the area to burst, resulting in blood pooling under the skin. It’ll go numb for a while, but soon…very soon, you’ll die, die from your own stupidity! Are you crazy? You think you can die from just this?” Why does he have to make that disgusted face at me, confusing.
“I’m just being melodramatic, like a sick person would.”
“Hah, you’re terminally ill with foolishness, no doubt about it.” Duen has quite the mouth, but only with me, I guess. When he talks to Merk and the others, he’s polite, calling them ‘senior’ and referring to himself as ‘I’.
“Duen, I’m your senior, talk to me nicely.”
“So what if you’re my senior? I’m your junior, and you don’t even talk nicely to me.” Your reasoning doesn’t pass, this is what they call arguing out of spite. “It’s different.”
“How is it different?” He asked with a blank, naive face.
“Usually, seniors talk casually with juniors. But juniors should also speak politely to seniors.”
“You want me to speak nicely to you?”
“Would you?” Shit, would he really agree? I can’t even imagine him talking sweetly to me. What would it be like, ‘Phii Bohn, khrap,’ or ‘Please don’t tease me, Phii Bohn’?
“Hah, dream on. Wait…but if I switch from buying you flowers every day to speaking nicely, that might work.”
“No way. And from now on, you don’t have to go to the ends of the province looking for flowers like today, you can just buy them from a shop.” Thinking about it makes me laugh; he really did it, a man of his word to an astonishingly honest and naively heartbreaking degree.
“That sounds good, I’m exhausted.”
“Alright, let’s go eat cake, my treat.”
“Really? I thought you were joking. What’s your plan? Or because you think I’m handsome, you want to sell me at the Myanmar border! No, not me, you won’t get me, I won’t be fooled.” Has anyone ever told him he doesn’t seem quite all there…
“What language are you speaking? I think you should get your brain checked.” What kind of doctor are you? Aside from your good looks, there’s nothing good about you, your personality is naive, you act like a confused nerd, yet you have a sharp tongue.
“People always say that. They say my IQ is too high, my imagination is superior, and my brain convolutions are above average, plus…”
“I’m calling you crazy, you pale fool, Duen…”
“I’m asking seriously, here.” I started the conversation after we had sat in the cake shop near the university for a while. The customers in the shop were all students from our university, and I could feel many eyes on me and Duen. From the moment we entered until now, after we had ordered, they still didn’t stop looking, but I didn’t care. I’m used to it. Duen didn’t seem bothered either; he must be used to it too, or maybe he’s too naive to notice he’s being watched?
“…”
“You won’t talk nicely to me, will you?” I’m serious here. Normally, no junior has ever dared to disrespect me, except for my little brother, Bihn.
“Umm…” Does he really have to think that hard?
“The cake you ordered is here.” After the waiter brought our ordered menu to the table, Duen’s eyes sparkled.
“What?”
“Where were we? Oh, I don’t want it.” Come on, after all that thinking, I thought you’d say, ‘Okay, senior.’
“Why?”
“You said I’m the first junior to disrespect you, right?” My conversation partner said while scooping some strawberry into his mouth, then closing his eyes tightly to savor the sourness of the fruit he just ate. Are you talking to me or eating? Can you choose one?
“Yeah, so what?”
“Ah, delicious…Where were we again? Oh. You’re also the first senior, and probably the only one, that I disrespect too. Damn, it’s sour! It suits Phii Duen’s taste.”
“…”
“I don’t want you to be like anyone else, you bastard. People like you should be treated like bastards, more than the average person.” Duen turned to smile at me without noticing the whipped cream at the corner of his mouth. Do you know what you’re saying? You probably don’t…you’re too naive.
“Well, it’s up to you then.” I said, reaching out to wipe his mouth roughly, it’s annoying.
“Ouch, that hurts, can’t you be gentler?” He protested. I shrugged indifferently before turning to eat what I had ordered.
“It’s pretty good.” So sweet. I like sweet things, I didn’t used to it, but since most of Mom’s new recipes are sweets…and the taste tester is none other than my dad, Bohn, and Bihn. I’ve eaten so much that I got addicted. Later on, Dad told me to stop because he was worried we’d all get diabetes, so Mom finally agreed to stop.
“Bohn, Bohn.”
“I want to eat pavlova.”
“That’s the one with the white meringue on top, sprinkled with all kinds of berries?” He nodded rapidly while holding a spoon in his mouth. Seems like he likes sour things, starting from the berry mix drink.
“Alright.” If you want to eat something, go ahead, consider it payment for your hard work.
“Yay, one pavlova please, sir.”
“You like sour stuff, huh?”
“Yesss. Do you like sweet things?” Although Duen acts uninterested, he’s quite observant. My friend King has the same trait, but he observes in detail while Duen does so more superficially but still picks up on details, a true scientist’s nature.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re really treating me? I can pay for myself, you know.”
“No need. I happen to be very handsome and rich, the money I use to pay for your snack…it’s just loose change. My parents gave me so much, I can’t spend it all. It’s good that you help me use it, I was thinking about burning it. I don’t know what to do with it anymore. Sigh, it’s really tiring.” I pretended to be deep in thought. My parents aren’t that rich, I’m just saying this for laughs, haha.
“Damn…”
“Ah, don’t-” I was about to say, “Don’t curse me, you know I’m joking.” but I had to swallow my words when he suddenly jumped up.
“You’re fucking rich. If you can’t spend it all, give it to me, I’d be happy to take it. If I were as rich as you, I’d buy two hundred million chamomile banknotes, fold them to look like real money, and then scatter them from a helicopter. There would definitely be chaos with people fighting over them.”
Duen…so you really are naive, aren’t you? You believe me?! What I said is the epitome of an unbelievable lie, meant to be humorous! But you still…you can still believe it, you naive bastard.
“…”
“Quiet? Thinking about using my idea, huh? Hah. You might fool others, but not me. I’ve been tricked by chamomile banknotes about thirty-four million times.
Now I’m an expert, I can tell which one’s real or fake with just a glance…Ah!
There’s a thousand baht note under the table.” Suddenly, he spoke and immediately ducked under the table to grab the note.
“…”
“Today, Phii Duen’s luck is incredible.” The white hand unfolded the thousand baht note before slamming it down on the table with force.
Snap!
“Damn! Fake money, you fooled me! The person who made this must be a professional in the art of folding counterfeit bills. Only they could fool a genius like me.” I don’t think so…they’re not a pro. You’re just stupid.
“Your pavlova is here.”
“Thanks!” The counterfeit expert smiled as he took it, then began arranging the dessert on his plate. It does look good, but I’m not that into berries.
“What are you looking at? Want some? I won’t give it to you.” It’s my money we’re using, and you’re still being possessive.
“Heh.” I snorted before picking up my phone to play a game instead. I just downloaded a new game yesterday. Guess what kind of game someone as handsome as me would play. I’ll give you a hint: it’s super fun. What is it? A fighting game? No, a dress-up game?…Too girly. A soccer game? I don’t play those. A cooking game? What do you take me for? Enough, I’ll reveal it: ta-da-dadam, ta-da-dam-ta-tam-tam-tam.
It’s a farming game.
Don’t look down on it, it’s pretty cool, and it has bears…speaking of bears, here comes one. I furrowed my brows deeply, tapping rapidly on the screen, die, you stupid bear, don’t think you can eat my ducks.
“Uh.” I paused the game because I felt something looming in front of me. When I looked up from my phone, I saw a dessert-laden spoon right in front of my face, with Duen’s furrowed brow.
“What?”
The person asked, pouted, turned his face away but still held the spoon with pavlova in the air.
“I’m giving it to you, so you don’t think I’m mean.”
“What the hell. Are you drunk on strawberries?” Berries, sorry, I missed a line break.
“I’m not drunk on anything.”
“Then just eat it, I’m not saying anything.”
“But you were frowning. And you were tapping on the screen so hard it looked like you were angry at someone. If you want to eat, just say so nicely.”
I guess my intense bear-slaying expression made this naive one think I was mad at him. Was my face that tense? Heh heh.
“Eat it, or I’ll be accused of being stingy with food.” The slender figure pouted, his mouth close to my nose. Are you trying to force me, you little guy, Duen? While I was about to say I wasn’t angry, a clever thought suddenly popped into my mind…’Let’s pretend to be a bit hurt.’
“Didn’t you say you weren’t giving any?”
“Now I’m giving it to you.”
“But if you’re not willing, I won’t eat it.” I said with a tone of reproach, leaning back against the sofa and turning my face away, do you know how much effort I have to put into keeping a straight face and holding back laughter? What a crazy, unbelievably stupid guy.
“Hey…I’m willing.”
“You’re not willing…”
“I am willing! Eat it already!”
“…”
Gulp!
You pale fool! Do you know what he did? He shoved a spoon into my mouth! It hit my teeth too, shit, it hurts like hell.
“That’s it then.” The culprit acted like nothing happened and went back to eating his dessert until it was all gone, with the same spoon?! If I had AIDS, you’d die without even knowing.
“Damn you, Duen, that hurt when you shoved it in.”
“That’s your style.”
“That’s not called style.” That’s called being forcibly fed, give me a little more persuasion, and I would’ve eaten it!
“I don’t know, for me, it’s called style.” Oh, your highness, the great scholar, you make up your own terms.
“Ouch, am I bleeding?” No, I’m just exaggerating.
“Hah, being dramatic again.” His mouth curses, but he still gets up to check my injury, huh.
“Well, how is it? Am I dying?”
“You know, yet you still ask.” After that sentence, he left five finger marks on my shoulder. Always so aggressive…I better go back to eating my dessert, talking to you just leads to injuries.
“I’m going to class now, thanks for treating me.” The medical student named Duen waved goodbye, then got on his bike, ready to take off. That’s pretty cool, should I buy one to ride too?
“Yeah.”
“Then we’ll part ways here, bye.”
Vroooom
Better go back to my condo today; otherwise, Mom and Dad will scold me for letting dust gather on it. I quite enjoy a solitary life. I don’t like things that are too chaotic, so when I entered university, I asked my parents to buy me a condo. But then, I got homesick, so now I own a condo but hardly sleep there. My little brother, Bihn, wants it too; he’s asked me several times, very sweetly (and annoyingly). Part of me wants to give it to him, but another part of me hesitates whether it’s a good idea.
I had to stop driving halfway because I hit a jackpot of more than a hundred red lights, what bad luck.
Knock, knock.
“Huh? Hey!”
I jumped when I looked out to see who was knocking on the window, only to find the person I had just parted from. My life is too entangled with yours, Duen, it’s almost creepy.
“What’s up? Aren’t you going to class?” I rolled down the window, asking with both curiosity and surprise. I was genuinely surprised to see him here. And he’s not wearing a helmet, are you looking to die or what?
“I’m going.”
“Oh, right. Your faculty is on the other side of the university, is your faculty this way?”
“No, I followed you.”
“Huh?!”
“There’s nothing else. I just wanted to ask…”
“…?”
“What flower do you want tomorrow?”
“Huh? You drove all this way just to ask…that?!”
“Yes.” The other made a proud gesture like Phu, as if to say, ‘I drove after you from the cake shop just for this.’ Damn, what should I call you…
“Are you crazy?”
“Well, you didn’t tell me what flower or color you wanted. You just told me to buy from the shop, and there’s so much to choose from there, I couldn’t decide, so I followed you. I think roses are good…but I also want to buy something unusual.”
“…”
“So, what will it be? What flower do you want?” Duen asked while leaning his arm on the car roof. We locked eyes without looking away.
“…You idiot! Just bring any flower! Besides, you could have just called, why waste gas driving after me?”
“Yeah, you’re so smart…but hey. Your answer is too vague, it stresses me out!” Yes, he’s genuinely stressed…his face shows it, stressed about something like this.
“Ugh!…Fine! Roses will do!”
“That’s it, I’m going to class then, bye.” Whether to call it perfect timing or what, the moment the pale fool finished speaking, the red light turned green. I was stunned for a moment but jolted when the car behind me started honking. I had to drive off, not entirely with my mind on the road. Are there really people like this in the world…
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