MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 1: The Battle of the Wits Between the Scoundrel Cockroach and the Tall Pale Fool
[Duenhaw]
“The wind is chilly.”
I lazily stretched and scanned around the university’s public park, where there weren’t many people. Mostly, it’s students exercising or the elderly. I’m not really one of those, but today, I wanted some quiet time, so I decided to come here.
“Wow, the air is incredible.” I said, then flopped down onto the green grass, letting my thoughts drift with the breeze carrying the scent of grass and earth. My eyelids slowly closed as sleepiness took over, and lying on the grass didn’t bother me at all.
Kraak
[Bohn]
“Where are you going today?” asked my dear friend Tang after the professor had left the room.
“Um…I think I’ll go for a walk to clear my mind a bit. Wanna come with me?”
“Huh. You go ahead…I suspect you’ve been hanging out with King too much, you’ve picked up his habits.” Heh heh.
“Okay, then I’ll go.”
I decided to go to the university’s public park because it’s a quiet place with not many people around. Sometimes, there are old folks jogging there, which is kind of cute to see. It’s rare for me to have time to just walk and enjoy nature like this, given how heavy my studies are. Not to mention, I have to deal with annoying things like women. Let me just say upfront that I’m not conceited just because I’m good-looking. I’ve got a sharp nose, long narrow eyes, and a well-shaped mouth, plus a side-swept hairstyle that matches my black glasses, I tell you. I’m the bestlooking guy in the university.
“What’s that…?”
While I was lost in thought, my eyes caught sight of a slender figure sleeping on the grass by the big pond, as if not at all afraid of being greeted by some amphibian. Hey, the silver and gold here aren’t lizards; they could bite your arm off, man…But whatever, not my problem.
Snap
…Alex
Just as I was about to walk away like nothing happened, the four-legged creature named Alex appeared as if it knew what I was thinking. It’s here; the rector keeps it, sort of. Well, not really ‘keeps’, more like named it and then left, but he sends money for the janitors to buy chicken for it to eat.
What? How do I know which one is Alex?
That’s easy. Because it’s wearing a Hello Kitty collar, heh heh. But…what if Alex finds this crazy person sleeping on its usual spot? It probably wouldn’t end well.
Consider it an act of charity; I’ll wake him up.
So, thinking that, I approached the idiot who was about to be, here, murdered. He’s wearing the same university student uniform as me, huh, why don’t I recognize him? And what’s with that white skin, looking like a salad dressing, even from a distance you can see the glimmering aura. Must be because his parents feed him with a mix of glutathione and omelette. [1] Gluta is the Thai people skin whitening go to…
Let me have a closer look at this face.
Are you not moving at all? How still are you, really? So still that there are three or four butterflies resting on your face and arms, and you don’t even feel it. But let’s pretend to play along, this guy’s face is something special. Judging by his height from my estimate, he must be nearly 180 (which is pretty tall, but I’m taller). His skin is so white you can see faint veins, with a stubborn, sharp nose, and eyebrows that aren’t too thick but match his face perfectly.
But being good-looking doesn’t excuse being an idiot, you know.
I let out a wicked grin while photographing the idiot lying there, adjusting the camera angle to capture both him and the sign that read ‘Fucking Fierce’, ‘I’m going to wake you up, you naive little shit, but first, let me take some photos to mock your stupidity. Your white skin looks so pinchable, have you ever been in the sun, you pale paperboy?’
Alright, I think it’s time to wake him up. Let’s wake him with a slap.
“Ha…Hey!!”
“Shit!”
Poke
“Ouch!”
Thud!
Everything happened so fast that I couldn’t react; suddenly, the guy I thought was asleep opened his eyes, probably startled to wake up and see a handsome face in front of him, and he lunged forward, smashing into my nose hard. Before I could say anything, a heavy punch landed on the corner of my mouth, making it bleed.
Damn, that was a solid punch.
“You bastard! What the hell are you doing!” I shouted loudly while clutching my painful nose, the wound on the corner of my mouth hurt, but my nose hurt even more, damn it!!
“You’re the one doing something! Are you some kind of psycho? Help me-!” He shouted back just as loudly. He was about to scream for help, but I managed to grab him and cover his mouth just in time.
“Are you crazy or what!”
“Mmmph, mmm, argh, mmph!” (Translation: You’re the crazy one, let me go, you psycho!)
“Hey, why are you struggling so much?” I asked softly, not wanting to draw more attention. The slender body in my arms kept struggling to break free from my grip with no sign of calming down, much stronger than I expected.
“Ugh, let me go!” (Translation: Let me go!) Don’t struggle, dammit!
“Stop struggling and listen to me!!”
After my command, he went silent. I don’t know if it was from shock or fear, but whatever, he stopped struggling. He even stepped on my foot, which hurt like hell.
“Finally, you stop…Listen to me! I saw some idiot lying here, in this shitty place, so I came to wake you up out of kindness because I was worried you’d get bitten by the bugs. And instead of a thank you, I get a fist to the face.”
“…”
Seeing him calm down without any sign of fighting back, I slowly released my arms and hands. And the moment he was free, he immediately stepped back away from me.
“…Who would have known, waking up to someone somewhere trying to kiss themselves, wouldn’t you be startled, you bastard?”
“…” Yeah, right…
“See, anyone would be startled.”
“But you assaulted me. You have to take responsibility.” I said while stepping closer to him. His reaction was so funny that I wanted to tease him. The closer I got, the further he moved back until he was almost falling into the water.
“I’m not at fault! Hey, are you going to call your Pa?”
“I’m a true Thai. No Chinese descent here.”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Don’t change the subject. You have to take responsibility.”
“Back off, you jerk, or I’ll fall into the pond!” The person in front of me pushed against my chest to keep me at bay, but I didn’t stop advancing. The space between us was getting smaller and smaller.
“Huh.”
“Huh, stop it, or I’ll fall into the pond!”
The hand that was initially pushing against my chest now gripped my shirt tightly. He was smart to try to escape, but it was futile; we were in different leagues.
“Alright…alright, I’m wrong, I give up!” “If you had given up from the start, this would have been over. Why make it so complicated?” I grinned and stepped back.
“You bastard…what do you want? Let me tell you first, I won’t be your submissive like in those novels my neighbor’s kid loves to read.” Your armscrossed pose is the most annoying I’ve ever seen; can I push you into the pond?
“Have you read too many novels? I don’t want anything that silly.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Tell me your name first, and then I’ll tell you.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Fine…but if I tell you, I’ll consider it as you are asking for it, and then we’re done.” Another sly, cunning look.
“If I go-”
“This isn’t a request, I am going to.” I dragged the other guy to my car, not caring if he resisted. I knew if we stayed any longer, he’d start bargaining like he did before. Don’t mess with me, you pale fool.
“Hey, hey, where are you taking me?”
“…”
“I asked where you’re taking me!”
“Stop whining so much.” I started driving and suddenly slammed on the brakes, causing the person next to me to jerk forward, his forehead hitting the dashboard with a loud thud. That felt good, haha.
“You fucking idiot!” I shrugged off the curses, driving casually to our destination. If he has the energy to curse, let him.
“The hospital? And here I thought you were going to kill me…”
Actually, the wound wasn’t big enough to need a doctor, but I didn’t want it to get infected.
While the nurse was treating his wound, I secretly watched the slender figure with his long, thick eyelashes, surrounded by those beautiful narrow eyes. Both the nurse, the doctor, and the patients couldn’t help but look at him, which made me wonder why I’d never seen him before. At least, there should be some cute boy photos on social media pages.
“Aren’t you going to tell me your real name?” I asked, tilting my chin after the nurse finished dressing his wound.
“Your face is so annoying, I’m not telling you.” Oh, my face isn’t annoying at all.
“If you don’t tell me…then I’ll call you ‘Pale Fool’.”
“Your business. No matter what you do, you won’t know my name, you-”
“Oh, Duen, what are you doing here?”
It seemed luck was on my side when someone called out the name of the guy in front of me. No need to worry about getting the wrong person; not only did he call out his name, but he also walked over and clapped a hand on the pale fool’s shoulder…lucky me.
“Hmph, Duen.”
“Shut up, you bastard…Hello, Doctor.” Duen gave me a slightly annoyed look before turning to greet the newcomer with a wai, his movements looking funny, making me smile. Everything seemed to be going my way today, probably because of the merit I made yesterday.
“Oh, what are you up to? Are you starting to skip classes in your freshman year?”
“Oh, you are a freshman too…”
“Zip it…I brought my friend to get his wound treated.” Duen turned to me with a sneer before answering the doctor’s question. The doctor, who I guessed recognized me because I knew him, even though we’ve never spoken, raised his eyebrows in curiosity.
‘Dr. Thara’, a fifth-year medical student, the heartthrob doctor-in-training beloved by patients in the hospital, has a profile so perfect that he’s the target of many, but all end up disappointed because Dr. Thara cares only about his work and studies…or so I’ve heard others say.
“Hello, Phii.”
“Hello…did you have a fight with this guy Duen? Isn’t he in his second year now?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“That’s not good. He’s your senior. You should show some respect.”
“He doesn’t mind…You do not mind, right?” This is what people call asking for an opinion, but it’s more like a threat, isn’t it? Just look at his eyes.
“Yeah, I don’t mind.” I replied nonchalantly. The other person seemed pleased to hear that, unaware of how punchable he looked.
“Wait, Duen, I saw that.” When scolded by the senior medical student, the other pouted like a child caught doing something wrong. They seem pretty close, huh.
“It’s fine, senior. I don’t mind.” I waved it off.
“See Phii Thara…he confirmed it himself.”
“Heh heh.”
“But are you going up to the ward, senior?”
“Ugh, I’m so tired, I got yelled at by a patient’s family this morning.”
“Poor you, how about I treat you to some ice cream to cheer you up?”
“I’ll make you treat me, but not today. I’ll add it to your tab, you little rascal.”
“Sure, sure. Where are you headed next?” The latter turned to ask me, to which I nodded in response, giving him a look that said, “You can’t escape me, you rookie.” and I saw his face change before he approached me.
“Then I’ll go first. Here, do you want your gown back?”
“Leave it for now, too lazy to carry it.”
“What’s that…”
“Then we’ll part ways, I’ve got to go too, see you later.” The oldest person in our conversation checked his watch before waving goodbye to us.
“You reckless face, where are you going now?”
“To take my medicine.” I didn’t answer his question, instead, I held up the medicine I had just picked up for him to see. Of course, he was the one who paid for the treatment, huh.
“Then take it.”
“It’s post-meal medication, so…I have to go eat something first.”
“Damn it, I shouldn’t have slept in the park…”
“It’s your karma, you tall cockroach.”
“Yeah, my karma, my fate.”
Since it wasn’t too cool outside yet, I decided to take Duen to “Hia Ta’s” place. The owner is a friend of my older brother. The atmosphere there is excellent because it’s by the river, the food is delicious, the ambiance is good, and the owner is quite a looker. Seventy percent of the customers are women, and every day they come dressed to outshine each other, more glamorous than the Met Gala.
“Two plates of plain rice, chicken in galangal soup, fried chicken, and ginger stir-fry. You don’t want anything else, right…but even if you did, I wouldn’t order it for you, huh.”
“You bastard, such a dictator.” I shrugged off Duen’s curses and returned the menu to the server. In truth, I didn’t intend to do much with him; I just wanted to tease him. After we eat, I’ll let him go…probably.
“Kyaaaah! Look at that!”
Suddenly, screams and shouts filled the restaurant. What’s going on…Oh, I see why they’re screaming. It’s because the handsome owner was walking over to our table with a smile.
“Hey, Tiger.” Look, he was talking to the girl but his eyes were on the person she brought with her. Oh, I forgot to mention, he’s bi.
“Who’s your new friend Bohn? Wow, every time that ‘May’ comes to flirt, you never play along. I thought my little Tiger didn’t have taste for men…but it turns out you already have someone in mind.” ‘May’, the one Hia Ta is talking about, is a sophomore in the Faculty of Fine Arts. He’s been chasing me since my freshman year. He’s actually quite cute, but I like girls, plus he’s all over the place.
“I still prefer the front (women), Hia. This is Duen, my junior from university.” “Hello, senior.” Duen greeted Hia Ta with a wai and gave him a smile. Go ahead and smile, you’re exactly Hia’s type, tough and lean, looking like you’ve got some fight in you.
“Duen, you are studying at the same university as Tiger, are you a freshman?” “Yes, sir.”
“What faculty are you in? Why haven’t I seen you at the engineering faculty?” “I’m in the medical faculty, sir.” That’s why I’ve never seen him before.
“Oh, and how did you get to know this guy, engineering with medicine, huh, ha ha.” At the university I study, the health sciences faculties don’t study on the same campus as other faculties, making it very hard for us to meet (unless we make an effort to go find each other).
“-”
“I found him crying next to a trash can, felt sorry for him, so I picked him up.” He was about to say something earlier, but I bet it wouldn’t have been much different from what I said.
“Picked up your father, you bastard.”
“Don’t bring my father into this, or I’ll slap you.”
“Oh, I’m so scared.”
“You’ll be in for it, Duen.”
After that, we kept arguing, with a bit of shoving here and there, just typical guy stuff. It wasn’t anything serious. I just pushed him, and he retaliated by swinging his arm to hit my shoulder hard, ouch, damn.
“Are you guys close?”
“Who, me and him? No way. Who would want to get close to him? We just met today.” The medical student answered, making the questioner surprised, then looked back and forth between Duen and me.
“Why?”
“Oh, nothing. Usually, except for his little brother Bihn, I’ve never seen him let any junior play with him like this…Duen is the first.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the juniors in our faculty respect him so much…or rather, they’re scared of him, ha ha.”
“With a face like yours, would there be someone who respects you?” The little guy stood up, holding his right hand on the table while using his left to squeeze and turn my chin, examining it with a disbelieving look.
“Why? What’s wrong with my face?” I caught his white wrist, looking up at him challengingly.
“Well, nothing. Just that your face doesn’t exactly inspire respect.” “Watch your mouth, Duen, or I’ll add interest until you can’t even scream.”
“I’m so scared. Come at me then.” Such a pain in the ass.
The three of us chatted a bit more before the restaurant owner asked the staff to bring our food and excused himself to attend to other customers. Once the food was laid out on the table, no one spoke because we were all busy eating. During the meal, I glanced up occasionally at the other guy, noticing how neatly he ate. When he’s quiet, he actually looks like he could be a doctor. Oh, speaking of doctors, I remembered something.
“Are you close with Phii Thara?”
“Hah?”
“I don’t want to know anymore.”
“You catch on quick.” I immediately knew what he was going to say. Just by opening his mouth, I could see his chicken tongue; he would definitely try to exchange the knowledge for something.
“Don’t you like ginger?” After observing for a while, I noticed something odd; Duen ate everything on the table except the ginger stir-fry chicken. He didn’t even touch the plate.
“I’m allergic to ginger.”
“Really?”
“So, what do you want from me?” The slender figure asked, looking at me with bored eyes, which only turned my mischievous switch on.
“What should I take?”
“Don’t play games, you scoundrel.”
“Seriously, what’s a ‘scoundrel’?”
“I don’t know, but since you called me ‘Pale Fool,’ I wanted to call you something that sounds similar.”
“Oh…want our names to sound alike?” I flashed my usual charming smile. Normally, this would make the other person flustered, but this guy just grimaced in disgust. Oh, you’ll see, you bastard.
“Ugh, I hate self-absorbed people.”
“Hey, you were the one who said you wanted them to sound similar.”
“Yeah, I said that, but I didn’t mean it like that!”
“Do you know what I mean?” Instead of feeling creeped out by flirting with this tough guy, I felt it was fun, especially when teasing Duen. It was funny because he always pouted and made a hissing sound like an annoyed cat.
“Every time I talk to you, I get annoyed.” He pressed his tongue against his cheek, showing he was extremely bored. “Huh, cover it up then, if you really like it, just say so.”
“You-”
“Check out, please.” Seeing that the slender figure was about to start complaining, I preemptively called for the waiter to get the bill, then turned to raise my eyebrows at the would-be doctor in front of me like a victor. Believe it or not, from the moment the bill was paid until now, as we walked back to the car, he remained silent, probably too tired to argue anymore.
“So, what do you want?”
“Handsome big brother, can you buy me some flowers, please?”
Before the medical student could finish speaking, a small voice interrupted. When I turned towards the source of the sound, I saw a little girl dressed in old clothes, holding a bunch of colorful roses which looked quite heavy. It was hard not to feel sorry for her.
“Please help me, I haven’t sold well today.”
“Oh, don’t cry, little one.” Duen went to crouch in front of the girl when he saw she was about to cry.
“Huh…you…”
“I’m not buying, Duen, get in the car.”
I never buy from these kids. It’s not that I dislike them; on the contrary, I feel sorry that they have to work at night like this, it’s dangerous. Especially when the sellers are children, I’d rather not buy…if we buy, the people using children to sell will make more money. If they profit from this, do you think they’ll stop?
“Huh…huh, I haven’t sold even one flower today.”
“Hurry up.” I walked to the driver’s side door, making eye contact with the medical student, signaling him to get in the car quickly.
“You bastard…don’t cry, little one, I’ll buy some, okay, brave girl?” The gentle smile he gave to the child made it impossible for me to look away.
“Really, huh?”
“Really.”
“Duen, there are so many mosquitoes, I want to go home.” I mean it, man. I’ve scratched so much my skin feels like it’s going to peel off. Can’t you see that this kid is a little scammer? She’s crying without a single tear.
“You’ve been quiet. So, how much for these flowers?”
“Twenty baht per flower, huh. If you buy…huh, two flowers, I’ll give you one for free, Phii.”
“Hmm, and if…I buy them all, what will you give as a bonus?” I smiled, looking at the girl squatting in front of me, talking to her.
“Eh. If you buy them all, I have nothing left to give. What should we do?”
“Is that so? That’s too bad…but I have an idea. If I buy them all, can I get a kiss on the cheek as a bonus?” The medical student smiled at her response, pointing at his cheek with his finger. So, what you’re saying is you want to flirt with the kid?
“No way.”
“Eh, why not?”
“Mom said I can only kiss family members and my boyfriend.”
“Then become my girlfriend.” I really want to kick you, you little doctor, haha.
“No way, I don’t love you, Phii.”
I burst out laughing and got a murderous glare from Duen. Even passersby were smiling at the conversation they overheard. If it were you, wouldn’t you laugh? He was clearly trying to flirt with the kid, damn, that backfired, hahaha.
“Okay, I understand. But you really won’t kiss me? Even friends kiss each other.”
“Really? Can you kiss that super handsome Phii over there too?”
Me?
Duen and me? …Well, it’s not like I haven’t. In my life, four guys have kissed my cheek: my dad, my brothers Bihn and Buhn, and my best friend Boss (of course, I didn’t willingly let the last one kiss me)
“Yes.” I agreed, and with the urge to tease and being bitten by mosquitoes to the point of almost getting dengue fever, plus this transaction didn’t seem like it would end easily. I walked over and knelt behind the squatting person, moving my lips close to his white cheek and…
Kiss
“You, you-!”
“Shh, don’t be rude, or the kid will remember.” After saying that, I put my finger to his lips to silence him, and with me now sitting behind him, my longer arms and legs making it look like I was hugging him.
“Um…then I’ll kiss you, Phii Duen.”
“Uh…shit, don’t sit so close.” Duen answered the girl before turning to glare at me, his white hand pushing against my chest which was now pressed against his back, but I feigned confusion and grabbed his slender waist to keep from being pushed away, so we would fall together. But…how come his waist is so slim?
“Um, how many flowers do you have? One, two…”
“Let go of me.” The slender figure took advantage of the girl counting the flowers in her hand to turn his face towards me, threatening in a whisper so quiet it was almost a murmur. He must have been genuinely afraid the kid would hear, what a role model.
“Why… Phii Duen?” I teased playfully, and the result of my teasing was a hard punch to my shoulder from him. Damn, that punch was strong, you bastard, I’ll knock you down if you do that again.
“There are other people around, you jerk. Shit, I already don’t have any girls flirting with me, if you do this, my rating will be gone.”
“No one flirts with you? Or maybe they do, but you’re just too oblivious, especially when you’re being an idiot.”
“You want to fight me, you jerk?”
“Me, hey…”
As he turned to talk, our noses almost touched by coincidence, even if just for a moment, it made me jump back quickly. No more teasing or messing with him.
“What’s wrong with you? Or did I step on an ant’s nest!” He quickly got up, looked at his feet, and brushed himself off, but when he saw nothing, he scratched his head in confusion.
“You…”
“?”
“Are you an idiot or something, Duen…” This came from my heart, he really seemed slow. Look at how he was in the restaurant, even when Hia Ta was clearly showing interest in him, he didn’t notice at all. And in reality, who follows a stranger around like this? Many of his traits make me question how someone like him has survived in society up to now.
Slow, naive, dazed, kind-hearted, easy to deceive, too trusting, he’s the epitome of the last link in the food chain.
“Twenty-one flowers!”
“Oh, you’ve finished counting, have you, little one?”
“Yes.”
“How much is it?” Wow, such double standards, this idiot. When talking to me, he sounds bored and makes a sour face, but with the little girl, his voice is so bright.
“Twenty-one times twenty…five hundred baht.” Amazing quick math…it’s four hundred and twenty, you fool!
“No.”
“Correct.” Duen replied, handing over a purple banknote. She looked happy as she handed over all the flowers…Do you realize you’ve been taken advantage of, or is your kindness blinding you?
Kiss-kiss
“Don’t tell my mom, okay?”
“Sure, hurry home.” The slender figure reached out to pat the girl’s head affectionately, a gentle smile appearing on the handsome face of the future doctor. “Okay, thank you.” After selling all her flowers (with some trickery), she walked away happily, oh my.
“Alright, let’s go, you bastard, the mosquitoes are about to carry me away.”
“I told you a long time ago, but you wouldn’t listen.” I, Bohn, walked over to sit in the driver’s seat, and soon after, the other party came to sit in his usual spot, the once empty lap now replaced with a bouquet of colorful roses.
Although everything he did might seem foolish, it was out of pure-heartedness. Duen genuinely felt sorry for that kid, unlike those who tried to flirt with me. Some tried to show their kindness by buying all the flowers, but their actions left me unimpressed, seeming insincere…unlike the person in front of me.
“What are you looking at, you heartless bastard?”
“What, how am I heartless?”
“You were the first one who said you wouldn’t buy anything and were going to run back to the car.”
“If I had bought them, she’d have to come out and sell flowers at night again.
Don’t you think that’s dangerous for a kid that small?”
“…I know, but if you don’t buy, where will she get money from? It’s…pitiful.” The white hand gripped the roses tightly, looking out of the car window at another kid doing the same job as the little girl from before. I think Duen has a case of being overly sympathetic, kind-hearted, and eager to help others, all sorts of conditions for being easily taken advantage of.
He seems foolish, but…it’s not all bad.
I smiled, reaching out to ruffle his dark hair roughly. Are there still people like you left in this world?
“You scoundrel! Don’t mess up my hair! It’s all out of place now!” Do I care? I shrugged before starting the car. My conversation partner protested even more because he hadn’t buckled up, and when I drove off, he hit his head on the dashboard again, huh, serves him right.
“Duen.”
“What!”
“I’ve figured out what I want.”
“Go on, you can keep this up all day.”
“Huh, smart mouth.”
“So, what do you want?”
“I don’t want an object.”
“?”
“One month.”
“?”
“For the whole month, you have to buy flowers from the kids selling them on the street and bring them to me.”
“Ah?!”
“Any kind of flower, but I guess it’ll just be roses.”
“…”
“Oh…and you have to bring them to me every morning, personally, at the Gear Plaza.”
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