MY ENGINEER, CHAPTER 10: Phii Duen Gets Drunk
[Duenhaw]
“Alright. Now that your Yakult is gone…”
Now my good friends are moving in so close they might as well merge into one person. There are all sorts of bottles on the table. If I had to guess, they’re all alcohol.
“It’s time for you to drink the real stuff, you little chicken, hehe.”
Shit. You guys are scary. Look at your faces, I know they want me to drink alcohol. They’ve been trying to get me to drink since high school, but I’ve always firmly refused until now. It seems today I won’t escape like before…
“Can I…not drink?”
“No, Dad ordered us to make you drink, even if we have to pour it down your throat.” Where did you get that funnel, Tang! He wasn’t just saying it, he looked like he was about to shove the funnel into my mouth for real, and the rest were ready too; Ting held my arms, Phu held my legs, Ram went behind and locked my neck. Do you guys see me as some kind of villain!
“Ack! Okay, okay, I’ll drink!” When Dad’s minions heard me scream at the top of my lungs, they nodded with a smile before going back to their seats.
“But I really don’t want to drink…it’s bad for my health.”
“I think it’s good to practice, so you don’t get drugged and taken advantage of.” Interesting…but if I don’t put myself in risky situations, it’s not necessary, right?!
“Plus, your dad ordered it, and you have to obey!”
Clink
“Uh…”
The only half-Thai guy at the table placed a glass of liquor in front of me. Do I really have to do this? Why do women like bad boys? What’s wrong with being a good guy who doesn’t drink, chase girls, smoke, or do drugs?
“I ordered ten, two bottles are for us, the other eight…you handle it. You have to drink them all because they’re expensive.” Headache. If they’re so expensive, why order them! Tang is such a cheapskate, he knows I’m frugal.
“You guys…”
“I’d like to help, but Dad ordered that you deal with it alone. These liquors are a special case, man. Normally, Phii Diao, the owner, doesn’t sell them by the bottle like this. Lucky for me, he sold them because I’m handsome, heh heh.”
“Seriously, did Dad bribe you all or something?” They used to force me before, but once I said no, they wouldn’t insist this much.
“No…”
“Crazy, where did you get that idea?”
“…No.”
“I don’t want to lie, let’s just skip over the unimportant stuff.” What’s unimportant, Tang! This is very important, isn’t it? They’re acting suspicious again!
“Don’t change the subject, idiot, drink it.” Phu placed a glass almost overflowing with liquor in front of me. Do you want me to drink until I die? While I was thinking of a way to avoid it, my clever mind came up with an idea. Dad’s not at home these days, and he won’t be back tomorrow because he has to stay at the main center, huh huh.
“I’ve thought about it. If I don’t drink, Dad wouldn’t know-”
(I know, I saw…)
Damn! That’s Dad’s voice. I looked left and right to find the source, only to realize it was coming from Ram…but Ram wasn’t the one speaking, it was the phone in his hand.
“Dad…”
(Yeah, it’s me.)
“Well…”
(Are you going to drink it yourself, or should I have them pour it down your throat?) The other side asked while picking at his nails, looking somewhat drunk.
His handsome face, aged gracefully, was a bit red from the alcohol. Don’t tell me Dad just finished drinking with Uncle Som.
“That is…”
(I’ll give you 3 seconds to decide, Nhao.)
“Dad, Duen doesn’t want to drink!” I shouted loudly and clearly. Now the friends who sold me out have moved to sit on Ram’s side, which is opposite me. They look like mafia collecting debts, especially Ram, who fits the bill perfectly; his face is so serious, and their all-black outfits…
All black like this…who do you guys think you are?
(3) Wait, I forgot Dad’s still on the line.
“Daaaaad, I don’t want to get liver cirrhosis!!”
(2)
“Duen, we’ll force it down your throat if you don’t drink.” Thanks for the encouragement, Tang.
“Huh.” You don’t need to be so stern, Ram! I hate your face today because you look like that little foreign devil.
“You’re dead.” Bastard. If you weren’t a woman and my best friend, I would’ve thrown you into the river ages ago.
“Can I just shove the whole bottle in?” If you do that, Phu, I won’t die, but I might not grow up either.
(One-)
“I’ll drink it myself.”
(That’s it then, I am going now, kids. I’ll send you something when Duen is done.) What does he mean by “send something when Duen is done”? He really bribed them!
“Yesss/Okayyy.”
“Hey! You guys sold out your friend.”
“Come on, just drink it.”
“Yeah, it’s not that bad, trust me.” When have I ever trusted you and it turned out well, Pinchan?!
“At first, it might make you dizzy, but you’ll feel better soon, trust me.” I don’t trust any of you, you guys are unreliable! You sold me out to Dad!!!
“I-”
As I was about to speak, everything went dark. The lights, the music, the colors, all went out. There was a small murmur of excitement, but it quickly quieted down. Oh, I remember Phu saying it was someone’s birthday today; there must be a surprise planned. As soon as I thought that, a man’s figure appeared in the darkness, with a spotlight on him alone.
“Happy birthday to you.” a deep voice sang the birthday song while walking towards a beautiful woman with a cake in hand. I’m pretty sure today must be her birthday. The guy must be her boyfriend…they look familiar to me, both the cake holder and the woman.
“Scream!” A scream erupted when the guy looked up. Oh, it’s that bastard. No wonder they looked familiar. Wow, you’re not bad, huh, secretly being sweet like this.
“Happy birthday to you.”
“Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday…to you.” Bohn walked up to his girlfriend, stopping in front of her to present the cake. I really think I recognize the beautiful girl’s face.
“Happy birthday, Nang.”
“Scream!”
“Yayyyyy!” After Bohn finished, teasing cheers rang out. Even I couldn’t help but smile; he seems like a mischievous, rough guy. I didn’t expect him to do something like this. Actually, if he toned down the mischief a bit, he’d look pretty good in my eyes.
“Shit, Phii Bohn is so cute, surprising his girlfriend.” Phu watched Bohn standing there. Oh, they know each other too…not surprising, they’re in the same engineering faculty. Not long after that, everything went back to normal; the birthday girl walked back to her table, not forgetting to link arms with the bastard, but for some reason, I felt like he didn’t look too happy about it.
“Back to our topic…” Why do you have to bring us back to this, Ram!
“Where were we? Oh, drinking alcohol.”
“Sigh.” I let out a big sigh; drinking alcohol is against my principles. I’m sure to become a big sinner…
“You really don’t want to drink, huh?”
“Yeah, is there any way to make me want to drink?” If I really have to drink, I’d like to want it myself.
“Others might have ways, but for you, I think you’ll never want to drink, heh heh.”
“Then try this. Think of something painful.”
“Something painful, like falling down?” If that’s the case, I have plenty; this morning I just fell down the stairs, it hurt like hell. Luckily, I didn’t get many bruises.
“No!” Oh, then what kind of pain are you talking about, my friend?
“We mean heartache.”
“Not physical pain, it’s pain from within.”
“Inside, huh…”
“Yeah, do you have it?”
“I do…”
“Really? You do, do you?”
“So that’s it…”
“Yeah, it just happened recently.”
“Tell us about it.” Tingting came and sat between me and Tang, who moved aside willingly because he knows she’s the best at comforting me.
“Yeah, we’re here for you.” Phu said, patting my back.
“If it hurts, you can vent to us.” Ram added. Although he looks serious, I know he cares the most about me.
“…”
“…” It’s okay, then drink to forget. Tang slid a glass of alcohol towards me, the one Phu had poured earlier.
“Can you really forget?”
“I don’t know, but when I’m stressed, I think about alcohol.”
I lifted the glass and drank it down in one go. Ack! It’s so bitter! How can Dad and these guys drink this? I have to drink several more bottles, but I’m already dizzy from just the first glass! Whatever.
“Hey, hey, take it easy. Didn’t you mix it with anything? This is strong.” Ram said when he saw me drinking without stopping. Oh…do I have to mix it? I didn’t know that!
“Must be really stressed.”
“What happened?”
“Come on, tell us.”
“I’m so heartbroken…” I spoke softly, gripping my shirt tightly.
“What happened?” I poured more alcohol and kept drinking without stopping. Damn, I’m really dizzy now but I’m not stopping. It’s not because of anything…I feel bad! Wasting money on alcohol!
“Who did this to you?” Ram asked with a serious expression, hugging his arms. That’s why I call him my second dad.
“How could they do this…”
“What’s wrong? Did your girlfriend cheat on you or something?” Before Phu could finish speaking, he was hit hard on his broad shoulder.
“With all this talk, have you thought about it, my friend? Who would this idiot have as a girlfriend?” Who are you calling an idiot, Ting? Phii Duen is not naive, I’m just probing with an innocent face.
“Come on, listen to what he’s saying.”
“Why are you guys arguing about this? If you want to know something, just ask him directly.”
“Right, very smart, my dear friend…what did he do to you, Duen?”
“He’s the worst, a dried-up, fishy, fermented, rotten, double-crossing, scheming bastard-…bastard.” Thinking of that jerk’s face, curses just flowed out of me nonstop, that…
“Yeah, yeah, we get it.”
“And what did he do?”
“Huh…uh.” Even though I was sobbing, I kept drinking the alcohol. I’ve opened a new bottle now. Am I drinking or pouring it out…my head is spinning. Would it be better if mixed with soda? No, let’s not. I want it to be over quickly, drinking it straight up like this!
“Hey! Why are you crying, Duen?” My friends looked shocked to see clear tears streaming down my cheeks. They tried to come hug and comfort me, but I pushed them away because of the heat, ugh, Phii Duen is so hot.
“Who’s that bastard?”
“Huh, he…his name…”
“Who is he, and what did he do to you!”
“Huh…he.” I took another gulp of the alcohol. I haven’t forgotten like you said.
“Slow down, Duen, or you’ll have liver cirrhosis for sure.”
“But you guys told me, huh…to drink.”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, so who is he?”
“What did he do to you?”
“Should we go beat him up?” Ram, you’re brutal, but it’s good too, beating him to death would be even better, huh, damn it.
“Yeah, huh…beat him up.”
“Then tell us who he is.”
“…He’s really bad, his name…”
“Yeah, who is it then?”
“I’ll go beat them up myself, how dare they make my Nong Duen cry.”
“Hic…it’s that little foreign devil, his name…he’s so bad…hic, he took away my beloved Dao’s first kiss!! And he even called Dao his honey, hic, that despicable kid, thinking just because he’s in first grade I won’t dare to punch him! Well, I’ll punch him, I swear, sob.” Don’t let me find out where your house is, I’ll release a plague of termites on you, Ben!!
“…?”
“…hic.” While everyone at the table went silent and exchanged confused looks, I took another swig of alcohol. Shit, before I knew it, it was already the third bottle.
“Duen…so you’re crying because some foreign kid kissed Dao?”
“Yeah, hic.”
“…”
“Why so quiet…hic.”
“You naive bastard!!”
Come on, now you’re cursing Phii Duen…
“What?” I stopped sobbing, but tears were still flowing. Ting and the others sighed in frustration and went back to their seats as if they didn’t want to talk anymore.
“Just this?!”
“It’s not just this! This is a national crisis!! Dao’s first kiss is more important than the celibacy of an entire nation!”
“It’s a crisis for you alone, you idiot! You scared us all!” Ting not only cursed loudly but also hit my arm, making me gently rub it to ease the pain, damn, it hurts, you brute!
“Yeah, I thought you had a heartbreak.”
“Yeah.”
“I was ready to go punch him…idiot.” Even you are cursing at Phii Duen, Ram! In this case, I must drink to mend my wounds!
We kept drinking on and on, it’s strange. I feel drunk, but I don’t feel like causing a ruckus like in the dramas. If I were a spaceship, I’d say, “Oh, wow.” Now my vision is starting to blur, and I feel like I have eight arms. Shit, Tang, you look like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, haha.
“Am I drunk yet?” My hand still manages to hold the glass as well as my mouth takes in the bitter liquid.
“Ugh, I’m drunk.” I’m a manly man.
“Then stop drinking and let’s go home?” Just saying it is enough, why take the glass away from Phii Duen?
“You’re in such a hurry, young man! The alcohol isn’t finished yet, Your dad said to drink it all!”
“Dad won’t scold you. How would he know if we don’t tell him?” Eh! Is that what you’re going with?
“Noooooo. Don’t lie, be a good kid, don’t tell lies, uh-uh.” I shook my head and pointed my finger at Tingting’s thin lips before she burst out laughing and messed up my hair, ruining my style! Phii Duen spent so long setting it!
“What’s wrong, are you turning into a cat when you’re drunk? Ha ha.”
“Then let’s do what we want, we’re drunk anyway.” Ram shook his head but smiled, heh heh, Phii Duen is cute, I know. When I was a kid, I; Phii Duen was the favorite nephew of the relatives…because at that time, Phii Duen was the only grandchild in the family.
“I thought you’d be rowdy when drunk.” Who’s this? The handsome Dr. Duen, with just this much alcohol! Chill, chill, why make a fuss, causing trouble for everyone…
“Duen.” Who’s calling me? Oh, it’s the good Nong Phu of Phii Duen.
“Hmm? What?” I asked with a slurred voice, my hand still sending alcohol into my mouth without interruption, ugh, bitter. Not tasty at all, but it’s expensive, such a waste.
“How do you feel?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“In the erotic novels I read, the heroine must feel hot and then strip off her clothes, how do you feel?”
“Ugh, who would do that…it’s hot!” I said as I took off my leather jacket. Don’t worry, kids, Phii Duen has a black V-neck t-shirt underneath, heh heh.
“Damn, Duen, you’re so sexy.”
“Crazy? Phii Duen? Sek Loso is crazy, what does he have to do with Sek Loso? Are you his brother?”
“Duen is so loose…”
“Yeah, ha ha ha.” I didn’t pay much attention to their conversation, let them go on, how can they laugh at Phii Duen, how rude!! Uh…now five bottles are gone.
Phii Duen is so good.
Ding
Phii
BohnHandsomeandRichSohandsomethatNongDuenScreamsthatHeLikesIT:
Are you drunk?
Huh, you’re a little brat, huh? Eek! Phii Duen hates names that are so…damn, you’re so full of yourself, not even a fraction of Phii Duen’s worth, drunk, let’s change it later. Right now, Phii Duen is drunk. But what does this mean?
Oh…you’re here too, huh?
Duennhaw: Uh
The short answer isn’t because Phii Duen wants to be polite to the little brat, but because Phii Duen is dizzy, managing to type three characters is impressive.
I lean my head back on the sofa and cover both eyes with my hands, ugh, my head feels heavy like there’s a spirit clinging to it…or maybe it’s the foreign spirit that Ben created! Are you clinging to me? Get out!
I guess I need to rest my eyes for a bit. I rest my chin on my hand and look elsewhere, seeing girls sending sparkling looks my way, huh? Do I need to pee? Sorry, but Phii Duen doesn’t know where the bathroom is either, maybe ask someone else.
“Duen.”
“Hmm, make it simple, Tingting.”
“Have you had enough to drink yet?”
“Not yet, not even close.” I shake my head, lifting my drink for another sip. It’s bitter, but after drinking it repeatedly, I start to get used to it…or could this be the manly resistance to alcohol that dad talked about!!! Manly resistance to drunkenness!!
Phii
BohnHandsomeandRichSohandsomethatNongDuenScreamsthatHeLikesIT: come to me
Doh – uh – no…come to me, huh? Are you crazy, brat? I’m drunk, don’t even think about me walking to you, just reading your message is hard. I look at the sender and see they were already looking. Are you dreaming or what?
Duennhaw: Fuck off
I told you I can only type this much, my eyes hurt. I’m not talking anymore, I’m mad…how many bottles has Phii Duen drunk? One, three, five, seven, and one more to chew.
“Your face is so red, are you okay, Duen?”
“Duen, are you okay?” If you’re going to ask the same thing, why compete to ask?
“I’m all right.” I make the OK sign while pouring from a new bottle, one bottle left, one bottle left, Phii Duen is so good, gotta brag to dad about this.
“Are you going to drink more?”
“Yep.” I say, taking a big gulp from my glass, brr, it gives me goosebumps.
“Even though you’re already very drunk.”
“Damn, you’re right, little bro, the old man told me to finish the drink, a man’s promise.” I continued to hold up my glass and drink. Now, my friends have moved to sit on the other side of the sofa, leaving only Phii Duen sitting alone like an elder, hawa, my throat burns, but this is the way of a man, right? Where are all the girls? I didn’t see a single young lady come to Phii Duen, I’ll be your elder, come be my girl, …oh, that’s a chair, sorry, my eyes are blurry.
“Duen.”
Who dares to call the sacred name of Phii Duen?
“Bohnnnnn.” I called out the new name with a slurred voice, the other party raised an eyebrow before sweeping his gaze around until it stopped at the glass in my hand, why shake your head, why come sit next to me?
“All this…just for you?”
“Yessss, Phii Duen is good, right?” The conversation partner looked bewildered before rushing to snatch the liquor from my hand.
“Hey, stop, or you’ll die, you asshole.”
“Let go, let go, it’s the last bottle!” I made a displeased, squeaky sound, trying to get my glass back, but the bastard lifted it over his head, huh, thinking you’re taller you can do anything to me?! You! Think!
Right!
“Bad manners.” I said with a scowl, spreading my arms wide once before turning to grab another glass to pour more liquor, hey, Phii Duen isn’t stupid, man.
“I said stop.”
“Let go!” I said irritably, trying to pry off the large hand that was gripping my wrist with all its might, why grab it!
“Duen!”
“…”
“Why shout like that, what did I do wrong?” I said in a pitiful voice, slightly startled by the earlier loud voice since he’s usually not very loud.
“Don’t be stubborn then.” I’m not being stubborn!
“And what now?”
“Sit with me.” That was an order…as soon as he said it, the tall figure pulled me up, but like I said, I was drunk, so when I stood, the world tilted, my hand moved faster than my thought to grab Bohn’s neck to prevent myself from falling to the floor, and he, in turn, tightly held my waist.
“Ugh, I’m about to fall, can’t you see!” I frown, using my free hand to smack his thick chest, but it probably wasn’t hard. I can still feel that I don’t have much strength.
“Uh, sorry, but come to my table first.”
“Ugh. No, I’m not going, my name isn’t ‘first’.”
“Why so quiet, where’s your mouth gone, left it at home?”
“Good mouth. You’ve always had a good mouth…let’s say, come with me, I want to know something.”
“Huh?”
“Guys, I’ll borrow this idiot for a sec.” Who are you calling an idiot? I’ll punch you till your teeth fall out.
“Hey, Phii Bohn! Where are you taking my friend?” That’s right, Pinchan, you did well, friend. You need to hold me back so I don’t go with this brat.
“Oh. You’re Phu, Tang’s code junior?” Oh, the world is so round and chaotic.
“Uh…yes, khrap. But where are you taking Duen?” I use the moment when he turns to talk to Phu to push his thick chest away to go back to my original sofa, I’m tired, and I want to sip some more alcohol.
Ah!!!
“Duen, don’t be stubborn!” As soon as the brat finishes speaking, he grabs me into his arms…or a hug? Don’t hug Phii Duen, Phii Duen is hot! I try to push his chest away again.
“Ugh, Bohn! Don’t do that! He’s tough.”
“If you don’t stop, I’ll really carry you, Duenhaw.” Fine! I’ll stop. Not because I’m scared, but because I’m considerate, seeing as he’s helping me when I’m about to fall, how considerate.
“Come sit at my table, all of you, come on, get up.” Not only ordering me but my friends too?! Who are your parents? Are they that big? Show me!
“Huh? Why go there, khrap?”
“Come on. If you don’t, I’ll order both you and Ram to do pushups.”
“Hey!”
Once he finished speaking, he dragged me to walk with him, my friends were shocked and quickly ran to follow, hey!!! Where are you taking Phii Duen, let go of Phii Duen, Phii Duen is drunk!
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