MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 28: People Who Are Honest With Their Feelings, Especially With Their Loved Ones, Are Really Lovable.
The chirping of birds made me look around for the source of the sound while I was closing the door to the professor’s room. Small sparrows were chasing each other on the concrete wall under the cool breeze even though the sun was directly overhead. I gave a faint smile while looking at Ton, the big tree, where clusters of leaves moved like clouds, rustling with the wind like a kind of music.
From above, I saw the owner of the honey-colored skin stretched out on a stone bench in the garden under the faculty building. Phii Godt was dozing off, eyes half-closed. Today, he was wearing a black T-shirt under a navy blue shirt, and it can’t be denied that he looked very good dressed like this.
Like a prince, right?
But a tough kind of prince.
“Oh, Diew.”
A familiar, clear voice rang out as I was walking down the stairs from the third floor. I looked up from my white sneakers and the steps I was playfully jumping over to see a small woman in a student uniform smiling at me. Phii Ping stood in front of the student club room, holding a medium-sized paper box full of documents before she placed it in front of the room.
“Haven’t you finished your exams yet?”
“I’ve finished… just… came to submit some work.”
“Are you going back now?” Though she asked, she was already busy organizing the messy items. I glanced left and right, and seeing no one around to help Phii Ping, I thought it would be okay to let Phii Godt wait a bit longer since we had planned to eat together at the university’s central canteen after I finished submitting my work.
Phii Ping staggered a bit when lifting a large box, prompting me to rush over to help her carry it.
Although I was already on summer break, there were still some who hadn’t finished their exams, so it wasn’t surprising to see Phii Ping or some students still studying under the building. “You don’t have to.”
“It’s okay… I… was going this way anyway.”
“Then, please help me.” The beautiful-eyed woman placed one box in my hands, then turned to pick up another. We both walked, carrying the paper boxes down to the lower floor, heading towards the lockers to store the items.
“Sorry for asking you to help. Every time it’s the semester break, I have to clear stuff out of the dorm room; it’s so messy, it’s about to become a rat’s nest.”
“And… what about the others?”
“They’re caught up with exams, some have gone back to their provinces since the day before yesterday, so I’ve been carrying everything up and down by myself.”
Hearing that, instead of just carrying one box as I had thought, I helped Phii Ping carry all the boxes that were piled up in front of the room down to the lockers below because I didn’t want her to go up and down alone. She’s smaller than me; if she carried everything, she’d probably faint from exhaustion.
“Thanks, Nong Diew. Do you have any plans? Want to have dinner together? I’ll treat you as thanks for helping with the moving.”
“Oh… actually, I… have plans with Phii Godt.”
“Oh,” Phii Ping said softly, “As for Godt, everything’s okay now, right? I saw the fans apologize.”
“Yes.”
“That’s good,” she said, sliding the cardboard boxes into place. Even though there was a smile on her face, I could clearly see that Phii Ping wasn’t feeling great about it.
“Phii Ping…”
“Hmm?”
“Back then… did Phii Godt’s fans… apologize to you too?”
Phii Ping got hit harder than I did, but no one mentioned that fans apologized to her. It’s like everyone forgot that once they made a woman suffer.
The person in front of me fell silent, trying to keep her hands busy as if not wanting them to be idle. I gently touched her shoulder, and she jumped as if her mind was somewhere else.
“No. Back then, nothing was cleared up. We just drifted apart. No further words were spoken, the unresolved matters just stayed unresolved. But I’ve moved on from it, let it go if you can.”
That’s really sad. If possible, I’d like Phii Ping to get an apology too, but there’s not much I can do alone unless Phii Godt helps to speak up again.
“Uh… if you… don’t mind… would you like to join us for dinner?”
“Are you crazy? I’d just be a third wheel,” she laughed slightly.
“It’s fine… let’s go together.”
Phii Ping is Phii Godt’s friend after all, there’s no reason to feel bad about her.
That’s what I think.
The atmosphere at the dining table was awkward, different from how Phii Godt and Phii Ping used to chat comfortably that day. Today, it felt like they didn’t really want to face each other.
The actual purpose of inviting Phii Ping was to clear up misunderstandings with Phii Godt. I don’t know the details of how bad things were between Phii Ping and Phii Godt’s fans, I just know that back then, Phii Godt didn’t clarify things as clearly as he did with me, which might have made Phii Ping feel bad.
Phii Godt was pushing the carrots around on his plate, while Phii Ping kept sipping her mango smoothie, setting the glass down, and picking it up again after a while.
I, as the mediator, wasn’t very good at talking, so the whole table ended up in silence.
Until someone’s chatter broke the silence.
“Damn, calling me out here now, I should thank Bell if he doesn’t slap me.”
“Did you come by motorcycle or by tortoise, you’re so slow.”
“I came as fast as I could, you buffalo, any faster and I’d be The Flash.”
“Terrible!” Phii Godt yelled at Phii Biu, who was wearing a comfortable t-shirt and jeans, her large t-shirt crumpled and her hair messily tied back, suggesting she rushed over as she said. She muttered complaints as she sat down next to Phii Ping.
“How did you come?” Phii Ping asked Phii Biu. It seemed both were particularly close since the incident with Phii Jen. I heard from Phii Ping that it was Phii Biu who told her about Phii Jen’s situation, leading to Phii Jen coming to adjust his attitude with me and Phii.
“Godt called us here, said Ping was eating with you, and wanted us to come and sit with her.”
Phii Ping tightened her lips, gripping her mango smoothie glass until it made a crunching noise.
“We’ve already eaten. But if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave.”
“Wait,” Khun Godzilla protested, “It’s not that I’m uncomfortable, I called Biu because I was worried Ping might be uncomfortable eating with just me.”
“I’m okay, besides, there’s no need. If you are busy, you don’t have to come.”
“Crazy. I’m not busy, I came quickly because it’s about Ping.” Phii Biu smiled at the smaller person beside her. “So, what’s your problem, you bastard? Did something happen with Ping? I thought you guys weren’t talking anymore.”
“I don’t have a problem, Ping and I are friends.”
“And then what?”
I slowly raised my hand like a child afraid that raising a hand in class would get them scolded by the teacher.
“I was the one… who invited Phii Ping to have dinner,” I said softly, “I just… wanted Phii Ping to know… back then… Phii Godt didn’t disregard you… he might just not have known… how to handle his fans.”
All the sounds around us quieted down, leaving only the chirping of birds that had sneaked in to eat the crumbs on the nearby table, like in a comedy show where there’s a crow’s caw for a bad punchline.
“This is what it’s about, huh?” Phii Biu sighed softly, “Diew, you think Ping is upset about Godt’s fans?”
I nodded quickly before feeling Phii Godt’s large hand ruffle my hair.
“You’re thinking too much again.”
“I’m not… I just… if you’re going to be friends, shouldn’t you clear up what’s unresolved… isn’t that right?”
Everyone fell silent again. I didn’t know what expressions they had because my eyes were now fixed on the small eggplants scattered on the plate after eating the green curry with crispy chicken and pushing them aside, staring at them as if there was nowhere else to focus.
“Diew,” Phii Ping spoke up, making me lift my head to meet her gaze. Strangely enough, with Phii Ping, I didn’t feel awkward looking into her eyes at all; when I looked at Phii Ping, it was like seeing myself reflected back, fragile yet strong at the same time.
“Thanks for caring about me. It’s true I was upset that back then Godt didn’t say anything clearly, but the past is the past, we can’t change it, so there’s no need to worry.”
“I just… understand… what you’ve been through.”
“I know, because we’re similar, that’s why I don’t want you to care about what others say. I’ve been through a lot, been insulted, cursed, because I cared more about others’ words than those close to me, leading to bad decisions, but now I’ve gotten past it. And I think it was the best lesson.”
“Sorry for what happened,” a deep voice spoke after pushing carrots around until satisfied, “I know I did many wrong things back then that hurt Ping a lot, but like I said, if we’re going to be friends, I don’t want it to be unresolved.”
“I don’t hold any grudge against Godt, and I don’t care about the fans anymore. It’s just that sometimes I think back to the old times, but I won’t let it give me a headache.”
“That’s good. It’s good to be stronger. Other people’s words are just hot air, let them pass.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“But if anyone insults Ping again, I’ll knock their teeth out.” Phii Biu clearly defended the person beside her. “All talk on screen, let’s see what happens off-screen, you bastards, heads will shrink in rows.”
“You’re so fierce, do you like Ping or what?”
“Ass.”
“Come on, you just got insulted, so I’ll ask for real, do you like Ping?” Ass again.”
“See, you’re losing your composure.”
Phii Ping laughed and gently patted Phii Biu’s shoulder.
“Biu doesn’t like Ping, but Biu has always been there for me, both when I felt bad and when I was sad.”
“See, bow to my feet, Godt, I’m the one always cleaning up after you.”
“Yes, mother, thank you.”
“Do it again. You should thank me for taking care of Ping.”
“Thank you for taking care of Ping, mother.”
Seeing the tension slowly dissipate made me feel relieved.
“I’m not angry with Godt, I don’t care about the fans anymore. It’s just sometimes, the old stuff comes back to mind, but I don’t want to let it give me a headache.”
“That’s good. It’s good to be stronger. Words from others are just hot air, let them pass.”
“Hmm, thank you.”
“But if anyone insults Ping again, I’ll knock their teeth out.” Phii Biu clearly defended the person beside her. “All talk on screen, let’s see what happens off-screen, you bastards, heads will shrink in rows.”
“You’re so fierce, do you like Ping or what?”
“Ass.”
“Come on, you just got insulted, so I’ll ask for real, do you like Ping?”
“Ass again.”
“See, you’re losing your composure.”
Phii Ping laughed and gently patted Phii Biu on the shoulder.
“Biu doesn’t like me, but she’s always been by my side, both when I felt terrible and when I was sad.”
“See, bow to me, Godt, I’ve been the one cleaning up after you all the time.”
“Yes, ma’am, thank you.”
“Again. You should thank me for taking care of Ping.”
“Thank you for looking after Ping, ma’am.”
Seeing the tense atmosphere slowly relax, I felt relieved.
Then, I’ll excuse myself. Please help clean up the dishes, Biu, there’s a kid who needs teaching.”
Phii Godt stood up, grabbing his shirt that was draped over the chair and slinging it over his shoulder. Phii Ping furrowed her brows, not understanding what Phii Godt meant, just as I didn’t.
Only Phii Biu seemed to know what Phii Godt was implying.
“Don’t be too harsh on the kid, okay? At least he made you and Ping face each other again.”
“What will you do?”
“Teach him a lesson.”
Teach me a lesson? What lesson?
“Why teach him a lesson? Did Diew do something wrong?”
“Hey, where in the world would a new boyfriend to invite an ex girlfriend to dinner? That’s a sin!” Uh…
“But you… aren’t Godt’s ex, Biu.”
“You were almost one.”
Before we could discuss anything further, Phii Godt dragged me out of the cafeteria. I could only blink and follow him, not knowing where Phii Godt was heading, just that he kept walking until we stopped at the deserted garden behind the building, where a large tree blocked the sunlight, casting shade. I stood quietly looking at the lotus pond in front of me, where you couldn’t see the fish, only my reflection on the water’s surface, and suddenly remembered what Phii Biu had said.
“Where in the world would a new boyfriend to invite an ex-girlfriend to dinner?”
I… didn’t even think about that.
“Seriously,” Phii Godt said, his long legs stopping next to me, the warmth from his body hitting me instantly.
“Uh… yes.”
Suddenly, my voice stuttered uncontrollably.
“If I was to inviting your ex to eat with me, won’t you be jealous at all?”
“But…”
“And you didn’t even ask me, just brought Ping here and told her to eat with us.”
I… didn’t mean to.”
“Anyone else would be so jealous their eyes would pop out.” “But you… and Phii Ping… are friends…” aren’t you?
“Let’s start over, I’m already good friends with Ping. There’s no feelings if I talk to Ping again, but won’t you jealous?” His deep voice that was distant a moment ago moved closer, and I could feel Phii Godt’s breath near my ear, leaving me standing there stiffly.
“If I chat with Ping on LINE, if I greet Ping, if I smile at Ping… won’t you be jealous?”
“…”
My hands clenched into fists, my lips pressed together, my breathing became irregular.
If Phii Godt chats with Phii Ping behind my back. If Phii Godt greets Phii Ping every time they meet. If Phii Godt smiles at someone else besides me, with that warm smile he always gives only to me…
No… I don’t want that.
“Huh…”
“Hmm.”
“Jealous.”
“Hmm, what was that? Say it louder.”
“I would be jealous!” I grabbed the black t-shirt of the person next to me, clutching it tightly as heat rushed to my face, unable to distinguish between the embarrassment forming and the fluctuating feelings called ‘jealousy’ and ‘possessiveness’. I felt hot all over.
“I just… wanted… you and Phii Ping to clear things up… but I didn’t want you… to do that.”
“What was that supposed to be?”
I turned to look at Phii Godt, staring at him intently, and he seemed surprised by the sudden hardness in my eyes.
“Don’t smile… at anyone else.”
“Wait…”
“Don’t smile at others… the way you smile at me.”
“Diew.”
“I really mean it.”
“Shit,” the person in front of me muttered softly, then in a blink of an eye, he shook off his shirt and covered my head with it. His lips touched mine under the cover of his large shirt, the warm touch of his tongue making me instinctively pull back my neck. Phii Godt pressed his kiss down until I felt some kind of change happening.
It wasn’t a light kiss anymore. It was a kiss that made my whole body feel weak.
He pulled his lips away as I was still breathing heavily.
“Why do you have to be so cute when I was just playing around?”
I could only open my mouth like a fish out of water for a while until Phii Godt burst into laughter.
“Bad manners.” I pushed the tall man hard until he released me, the cool breeze hitting my face after escaping from under the shirt allowed me to take a deep breath.
But my heart racing in my chest and my face, hot like an oven, made it hard to recover.
I sat down on a stone bench not far from the lotus pond, resting my head on my arm while looking at the person beside me, the honeyskinned man who gently brushed the hair from my face behind my ear. Phii Godt’s slender fingers made me want to touch them more. I moved my fingers to hold his large hand, pressing my palm against his, observing the difference between our hands, then started playing with his beautiful fingers.
“Phii… are you mad… that I… invited Phii Ping to have dinner?”
“Not at all. I was just surprised. Normally, a new boyfriend wouldn’t get along with an ex.”
I pouted in displeasure, making Phii Godt smile.
“Hey. Isn’t it true? Am I right? If I’m wrong, why would you pull me like that?”
“Phii Ping… is just a friend now.”
“Yes, we’re just friends.”
“Besides… Phii Ping is… a good person, you know… She didn’t have to give me medicine, but Phii Ping did.”
“Yeah, Ping likes to take care of others, just like us.”
“But… when you say that… I… really am jealous.”
“Come on, being genuinely jealous is good, it’s super cute when we’re jealous, your face, ears, and neck all turn red.”
“Phii Godt!” I bared my teeth at him, and Phii Godt laughed, ruffling my hair into a mess even though he was just being gentle with it a moment ago.
Truth be told, if it were you, I’d be insanely jealous.”
“Hmm.”
“If you went back to talking with your ex, I wouldn’t be Ultraman, I’d be Godzilla, eating both of you up.”
This is my fault; my feelings are slower than a million-year-old tortoise.
…
“Sorry…”
“It’s okay.”
“But… you brought me here… aren’t you afraid of the monitor lizards?” I asked the person who was putting gum in his mouth. Phii Godt blew a bubble with the gum and shook his head slightly.”
The area where we were sitting wasn’t a place where many people would come. The grass was overgrown, and it was next to a canal, surrounded by old buildings with moss on the walls. If it weren’t for the big Ton tree providing shade, it would be left as a wilderness full of reptiles.
But the person chewing gum happily didn’t seem to think that way; Phii Godt actually seemed to like this place a lot.
“Not afraid.”
“Really… but I’ve seen… ones as big as crocodiles.”
I spread my arms wide to show him how big they were, the ones I had seen. Aren’t you afraid? The monitor lizards at this university are known to be fierce, they can easily take on a big python.
“…”
“Actually, the reason not many people come here is that the guard raised one here, it’s big, named Lucky, it loves meatballs, and it even has a collar.”
“…” The koala wouldn’t let go.
“…Oh… there it is, speak of the devil.”
I froze when I heard that, goosebumps rising all over like chicken skin. To be honest, besides spiders, the creatures I’m most afraid of are reptiles, especially lizards.
At first, I thought Phii Godt was just teasing to scare me, but when I turned around and saw the large monitor lizard crawling out of the water, I widened my eyes in shock and quickly ran to hide behind Phii Godt, clinging to him like a koala.
“Scaredy-cat.”
Well, that’s a lizard, right? What the hell is that?”
“Phii Godt… I… I’m scared.”
“Hmm, why are you scared? Lucky, come here, come to daddy,” he called Lucky with a click of his tongue as if it were an adorable little puppy. Instead of running away like other wild animals when it saw people, Lucky walked straight towards us as if it was used to coming here for meatballs.
“Phii Godt!”
“Huh, why are you scared? It won’t bite.”
“I’m out of here!”
The closer Lucky got, flicking its tongue, the more my arm hairs stood on end. I ran away from there with Phii Godt’s laughter chasing after me.
“Wait!”
“I’m not playing anymore, sorry,” he said, still laughing. I gave him a glare, which he answered with a mischievous smile.
If he teases me again, I might just push him to be Lucky’s meal instead of the meatballs.
“Phii Godt!!”
Before I could take another step, a female student in a uniform shouted a greeting. She ran over here, and Phii Godt quickly pulled me behind him. This action meant that this woman was definitely not his friend, maybe someone else, a classmate, a junior, or a senior he wasn’t close with.
“I thought you went back, nice to see you, Phii Godt.”
“Nice to see you too, Nong Ging.” Ging… I remembered seeing that name somewhere, it didn’t take long to recall, Gink was one of Phii Godt’s fans whose tweet Phii Wan had screenshotted for me to read.
“My friend saw you walking out of the cafeteria and so I followed you.”
“Oh, how are you? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.”
“I’m fine, more worried about you, you’ve been gone for a while.”
“Just hanging around here.”
“You really didn’t notice, you haven’t been at the faculty at all.”
“Really? That’s too bad.”
“It’s good, take some personal time. You don’t have to show your face all the time. Just update Twitter occasionally. This is from Phii Praew and the other friends for you.”
“What is it?”
“Sweets.”
“Are you sure it’s just sweets?”
“Yes, sweets.”
“Thank you very much.”
“And this is for Nong Diew too.” Upon hearing my name, I instinctively grabbed the back of the wide-shouldered person in front of me. A gift… for me too?
“It’s sweets too. I asked Phii Wan what you like to eat and brought them for you. I also want to apologize to you, and there’s something from Phii Ping in the bag too. Letters and plush toys from people who came to apologize, I know we’ve done many things wrong and want to apologize for many things but haven’t had the courage until now. With this issue, we want everything to end here. Phii Godt, don’t worry too much, live your life happily.”
“Thank you, I’m not angry anymore. And if you want to give a gift to Diew…”
Phii Godt moved to the right, allowing me to see the woman in front clearly, just as she was surprised to see it was me.
“Oh, Nong Diew.”
“Hello…”
When faced with someone I don’t know, my tension was quite evident. Phii Godt placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently to let me know he was by my side.
“This is from me to you, sorry for what happened before. There’s one plush toy from me and something from Phii Ping. Please give it to her too.”
A brown paper bag was handed to me. I took it reluctantly.
“Uh… thank you.”
“This is Ging, Ging and Praew are like the main representatives of my fan club,” Phii Godt introduced the person in front of me.
“Got it.”
“You’re so cute, Phii Diew,” Gink smiled at me, “Just like Phii Wan said, you’re all white.”
“See, he’s very protective of this one.”
“Oh, just a little compliment, many people have become fans of him because of how adorable he is.”
“I am still here and still protective.”
Okay, okay, then I’ll leave you two alone, you jealous one. Take care, I’m off, Nong Diew.”
“Got it.”
Ging ran back the way she came, leaving only silence between me and Phii Godt. The person next to me rubbed his neck a couple of times before we started walking along the path behind the school building.
“Is it like this every year?”
I opened the snack bag in my hand; three boxes of strawberry-flavored Pocky were inside. There were also strawberry marshmallows, and besides the snacks, there were letters and small trinkets like the tiny dolls Ging mentioned. I took out a soft, fluffy rabbit doll and squeezed it.
So cute, what should I name it? How about Sunshine, like the sunlight today? Maybe because I don’t often leave my room, I don’t get much sunlight, so I didn’t realize how good it feels to be outside in the sun, to see the vivid colors of the trees and grass, to see Phii Godt’s beautiful eyes clearly.
My gaze turned to Phii Godt, who picked up an expensive-looking square box from the paper bag. He sighed heavily, muttering in slight annoyance.
“I told them not to bring this stuff, but they still do.”
“What’s this?”
I craned my neck to see what was in the small square box; a sparkling, expensive watch almost blinded me.
“Wow, is it Gucci?”
“It’s expensive. I don’t know why they bring this, these kids still have their hands out asking for money from their parents.”
“If you don’t want it… then don’t take it.”
“I’ve refused hundreds of times. Sometimes if I don’t accept it, they send Wan and others to insist, or Beert relentlessly pressures me to accept. The worst is when they hide it in a snack bag, those kids.”
“And what do you do in return for these things?”
“I just update my daily life, tell them what I’m doing. I’ve actually asked why they give me these things; I’m not struggling financially, I can buy these things myself without any hair loss issues. But they say that when you like someone, you want to give them gifts or something to return their cuteness.”
“It’s a pretty strange relationship, huh?”
“They… seem to really love you.”
“Yes, with Ging, it’s like she’s my little sister, and with Praew, it’s the same. With Ping, I really think of her as a little sister too.”
“A lot of little sisters…”
“There are a lot of little brothers too. If Wan wasn’t the same age as me, I’d think of him as a younger brother.”
“And what about me?”
“Saying that, do you want to be my nong, huh Diew…”
Phii Godt went silent before he could finish his sentence. He stopped walking, making me stop too. When I turned around, I saw someone trying to hide their face behind their big hands.
“Phii Godt…”
“I forgot, I haven’t officially asked you to be my boyfriend yet, have I?”
My brain processed that sentence for a minute before heat rushed to my face. I was just teasing. I didn’t mean it seriously at all. We’re already dating, aren’t we? Isn’t it obvious when you’re dating someone that you’re their partner? But it seems Phii Godt doesn’t think that way.
“But you… already asked to date… right?”
“We’re dating. We just need to be official partners.”
“It’s the same thing…”
“It’s not the same for me.”
“Oh. If it’s not the same, then it’s not the same.”
Phii Godt walked closer to me with a smile on his face, his beautiful brown eyes even more captivating when the sunlight hit them, like a universe waiting to be explored. It still confirms my previous words that Phii Godt’s eyes are as beautiful as a young master’s.
“Diew.”
It was a brief moment where I could see everything around me moving slowly, whether it was the clouds drifting away from the sun, causing the light to shine on his face, revealing the smile of someone who was trying in every way to get to know me, even though he didn’t have to do any of it.
Or even his lips, which gradually shifted from a shy smile to moving, uttering short words from his well-shaped lips, while the cool breeze passed over our bodies, like a video you wouldn’t want to forget even for a second.
“Can you be my boyfriend?”
His deep voice echoed in my mind, making my heart swell like a balloon floating in the sky.
How many times will I be asked to be his boyfriend? There’s only one answer to that.
“Yes.”
The world outside, when there’s Phii Godt, it’s so beautiful, isn’t it?
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