MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 27: Love At The Beginning Is About Accepting Each Other’s True Selves.
“Hey.”
I looked up from my phone at the unusually early-rising small guy, on a good weather morning after the exams, Phii Wan sitting in front of 7Eleven with a can of porridge and a bottle of cold water. Seeing him sitting alone, I automatically looked around for the other person.
“Beert isn’t up yet.”
Oh, come to think of it, last night, Phii Godt and I didn’t get back to our room until after three. But I’m the type who, no matter how late I sleep, will wake up early by habit. If I get sleepy during the day, I’ll just take a nap.
“Where is Godt?”
“He’s not up yet… either.”
Because I was worried he’d freak out not seeing me beside him when he wakes up, I wrote a post-it and stuck it on Phii Godt’s forehead saying I was down at 7-Eleven. If he wakes up and wants to come down, he should lock the door because I took the room key with me.
Phii Wan nodded. He lightly patted the chair next to him, wanting me to sit and chat.
“About last night, I’m sorry.”
I shook my head gently at him.
“No need… just seeing you two talk… makes me happy.”
“Actually, last night I was so dizzy, I can’t remember what I said.”
I could only sit quietly by him, swallowing hard. I didn’t dare to say anything, especially when Wan, Phii Wan, was acting like a sulky child, repeating, “Phii Beert likes Phii Biu,” and also complaining about Phii Beert like a possessive kid who doesn’t want his best friend talking to anyone else.
If I were to tease him, I might end up getting hit.
“And… do you remember what Phii Beert said?”
Phii Wan was silent for a moment. He stirred his porridge with a spoon before resting his head on his arm. He sighed softly.
“He likes me.”
At least… he wasn’t so drunk he forgot everything. Otherwise, we’d have to start over.
“Isn’t that good… Phii Beert is both a friend… and a lover?”
“Not a lover yet,” the smaller man said with a slight laugh.
“Yet,” but in the future, probably.
“I didn’t even realize Beert liked me.”
“And do you… like Phii Beert?” The person beside me paused. He scratched the back of his neck slightly.
“Well… we’ve been together for three years, we understand each other. As for whether I like him, I enjoy spending time with him, but I’ve never thought about becoming lovers. Diew, think about it. Normally, I don’t even like myself. If I really dated Beert, would he tolerate my foolish behavior?”
“Why do you think that way?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t like my own personality.”
The sounds of cars passing by and the noise from the 7-Eleven didn’t interrupt our conversation, except for Charcoal, who ran up the stairs to me as soon as he saw me.
I scratched the head of the short-haired dog until it closed its eyes and happily licked its lips.
Let’s be honest. Isn’t it Phii Beert who confessed that he likes Phii Wan? Phii Wan who can’t make a proper omelette, Phii Wan who turned his university shirt pink, and Phii Wan who always buys snacks to apologize whenever he does something wrong.
But actually, it’s not just Phii Wan who doesn’t like himself.
“I myself… have also disliked my own personality at times.”
“About enjoying being alone?”
“No, it’s about… how I have prejudices against many things… too easily.” Perhaps because in my world, everything is so perfect, in my own comfortable private world where nothing disturbs the mind, being alone and quiet, so when I encounter something that affects me even a little, I quickly become prejudiced against it before really understanding it.
Like with seniors from different years, or even with Phii Godt, I used to judge him before even talking to him, thinking he was annoying.
For me, getting to know an extrovert like Phii Godt has taught me that everything in this world has two sides, like a coin, it depends on which side you look at, but that doesn’t mean the other side you don’t see is always bad.
“With Phii Godt… he never complained… even when I said things he didn’t like to hear.”
“Well, he’s okay with everything.”
“But that… makes me have bad habits.”
Because I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I never improve.
Phii Godt, he’s really good at indulging people.
“Phii Beert once said… if you love someone… that person becomes an exception for you.”
“Even if they’re annoying?”
Yeah, even if they’re annoying. I’ve called Phii Godt annoying I don’t know how many times.
“I believe… Phii Beert is a good listener… if he were to hate Phii Wan… he would have hated him a long time ago… not that the two of you have been living together… all this time, right?”
“Yeah, we’ve been living together all this time.”
“Then… there’s no need to worry, right?… People don’t decide to like each other in a day or two.”
The small guy burst out laughing when he heard that.
“Right, must be overthinking it.”
We sat in silence for a while before I excused myself to go into 7Eleven to buy some food. I chose simple sandwiches, boiled eggs, and black pepper chicken for Phii Godt, along with sugar-free green tea.
After paying, I came out to sit and peel the eggs next to Phii Wan.
What I can do. It’s not carrying Phii Godt’s bag, not carrying heavy sheets back home for him, nor carrying heavy stuff bought from the store, but doing smaller, more delicate things. Like if he wants to eat boiled eggs, I’ll peel them for him. If I see something he likes, I’ll buy it for him. Or even if he wants to watch “One Piece,” I’ll watch it with him.
“But about your relationship, with Godt, is it okay?”
“What do you mean…?”
“Like, life after being lovers, lifestyle, preferences, do they differ a lot? Does it feel awkward?”
I thought about it while Phii Wan was speaking his long sentences.
My preferences and Phii Godt’s are as different as night and day, our thoughts differ sometimes, but Phii Godt and I chose to talk openly more than anything else. Maybe because we came from different worlds before, I find it easy to adapt to him. It’s not like Phii Godt just started being charming recently; he’s been like that from the start.
“It’s okay…”
“Good, and it has to stay that way, understand?”
I nodded with a small smile.
“Understand.”
“And about Godt’s fans, you don’t worry about them anymore, right?”
About Phii Godt’s fans. Since Phii Godt tweeted an apology to his fans, I haven’t paid attention to Twitter anymore. I only check it occasionally for movie or music news, but I don’t read things that might make me anxious.
“I don’t think about it anymore.”
“Godt, after he tweeted that apology to his fans, he’s been trying to make them love you as much as he does. Just recently, a few days ago, his fans tweeted apologies to Godt and you.”
I turned to look at Phii Wan, who was pressing something on his phone. He handed his phone to me.
“Want to read what Godt has been up to? I know he won’t tell you.
Otherwise, you’ll go check for yourself.”
The boiled eggs were put back into the box. I wiped my hands clean on my pants and then took Phii Wan’s phone to look at it.
“Don’t worry, this time there are no bad comments.”
Following the issue of secretly taken photos at the engineering concert and the various discussions that arose afterward,
The team from “maboyfriend” and the main fan club “FCgodd” sincerely apologize to Phii Godt and Nong Diew. We have been negligent regarding the long-standing campaign against nonconsensual photography, but this time we did not consider things thoroughly, leading to criticism that has caused both physical and emotional harm to the individuals in the photos.
We must deeply apologize to both of them and request that you stop any negative criticism towards them. From now on, if negative tweets are spotted, we will capture them as evidence and report them.
Thank you for your understanding.
FCgodd
The “FCgodd” household has personally sent an apology message to Phii Godt. For those who are currently upset, please read this message to decide whether to continue supporting him.
To begin with, “FCgodd” was born because we fell in love with this honey-skinned man at the freshman welcoming event. Phii Godt has been our source of laughter, happiness, and smiles. We’ve been afraid several times that he might leave us because he’s quite hard to read, but he has never abandoned us, even though he was heavily criticized at first.
Over the past two years, we’ve made many mistakes. We’ve tried to decide how Phii Godt should live his life, who he should date, and insisted he should inform us about everything he does. But in reality, we haven’t considered that he’s just a person, a man with his own life. Just a simple tweet from him saying “morning” is enough for our happiness, isn’t it?
Therefore, “FCgodd” doesn’t want Phii Godt to disappear just because we’ve acted unpleasantly. Please be open-hearted and listen to those we love. After the incident with “Priew”, we’ve learned our lesson. No one wants Phii Godt to disappear for months again, right? Moreover, Nong Diew has helped him quit smoking and he doesn’t go to bars as often as before. Isn’t he a good person for Phii Godt?
In conclusion, “FCgodd” wants to apologize to both Phii Godt and Nong Diew for both intentional and unintentional actions that have caused this situation. We will continue to be the “FCgodd” house that always supports him, and more than that, we will support the person he loves.
Thank you everyone for your understanding.
For Praew and friends, as long as Phii Godt is happy, we are happy too.
With love, FCgodd
Aside from those apology messages, there are other messages that Phii Wan captured, all of which are from Phii Godt trying to defend me.
Neera: So, are you dating him now?
Godzilla: We’re currently in the courtship phase, and I think I’ll ask him out soon.
Fahfah: Phii Godt, is it true that the junior is arrogant?
I don’t want you to meet bad people.
Godzilla: He’s not arrogant at all, Fah. He’s just shy and not good at socializing.
Montra: Why didn’t you tell us until now? If no one had secretly taken photos, would you have told us at all?
Godzilla: I’m really sorry for telling you late. I didn’t want fans to feel bad, and besides, I’m very serious about this person, and I won’t let him go no matter what. I hope you can understand.
Anna: @Montra, really, last time you just said you were talking with Phii Ping, and you guys attacked Phii Ping so badly. It’s understandable why Phii Godt would be scared.
Montra: Well, it’s up to you. I will still support you. Just worried that your boyfriend might make you sad.
Godzilla: Not at all. He’s a good kid. I’m not sorry at all for knowing him.
Ging: Phii Godt, I’m here supporting you, I believe you’ve chosen what’s best for yourself. For the past incidents, we sincerely apologize to you; it shows that you didn’t come out to talk about dating Nong Diew this time because you were afraid that Nong Diew would be attacked. Please apologize to Nong Diew for us too.
FCgodd: After that incident, anything you want to do is fine, just don’t disappear like you did then.
Ging: I really couldn’t handle it when you disappeared; you weren’t at the faculty, your Twitter wasn’t updated, your Facebook was closed, oh my, I felt like my heart was breaking, Phi Praew.
Godzilla: Thank you both so much for looking after each other all this time. There was indeed a moment when I wanted to disappear because of the worry, but now I’m okay.
GingG: Love you, senior. Take good care of yourself and Nong Diew too.
Godzilla: Yes, I will take the best care of him.
Bostin: So, you like guys, huh? That’s so not cool, bro.
Godzilla: Boss, what’s wrong with me liking guys? Moreover, I like him for who he is, I like his attitude, his worldview, I like how he lives his life happily every day with himself, I admire him. It has nothing to do with him being a man or a woman, I love him for being himself.
Tonton: @Bostin, grow up, you can’t even think properly.
Bostin: Sorry, I just saw the latest and thought you were flirting with Priew.
Tonton: Ping is Ping, Diew is Diew, are they the same person or what, you buffalo?
Bostin: What do you particularly hate about me, Ton?
Godzilla: I don’t know if you guys will gossip about me or not, Boss. Whether you curse me out, say I am a player, whatever, it’s your business, I don’t care because I love him, and he loves me.
That’s all it takes for my life to be complete. So what if I’m gay?
Aren’t gays people too, you bastard?
Tonton: That’s how it should be, friend.
Bostin: Sorry, man.
Godzilla: Mind your own business, you want to have your mouth broken?
Tonton: Hehe
Tap
Tears fell onto the screen of Phii Wan’s phone. I didn’t even realize when I started crying.
“Hey, don’t cry.”
Phii Wan pulled back his phone and placed his hand on my back, gently patting it. The more he comforted me, the more I cried until I was sobbing uncontrollably. I used both hands to wipe away the endless flow of tears, as if all the pent-up frustration had been released. These weren’t tears of sadness but tears from the bottom of my heart.
It was overwhelming.
“Damn, I’m not good at comforting people.”
“Uhh.”
I now understand what it’s like to cry so hard you can’t control your voice.
“Let’s go find Godt, shall we?”
Unable to console me to stop crying, Phii Wan grabbed our things and hurried me back to the room. On the way, I couldn’t stop crying, only managing to wipe my tears as I followed the one leading the way.
We hadn’t even reached the room when the door was opened by Phii Godt, who stepped out. I looked up at the tall man, my vision blurred by tears.
“Diew! Why are you crying?”
Upon seeing Phii Godt, I cried even harder. The tall man quickly came to me, pulling me into a hug, his warm embrace like a large mountain.
Everything seemed to force my wall of strength to crumble completely.
“Phii… huaa…”
“Wan. What did you do to him?”
“I just had him read the messages.”
“Ha! What messages?”
“The ones on Twitter where people apologized to you both, and the ones where you defended him, after which he just wouldn’t stop crying.” Phii Wan sounded worried. I couldn’t see what expression Phii Godt had because it seemed like he was keeping this a secret, not wanting me to know.
The secret of him being a hero without telling me, protecting me every day from the harsh words on the internet.
“You go back, I’ll handle this.”
“Okay… sorry.”
“No need to apologize.”
“Why not? I made him cry this much.”
“It’s not because he’s sad, he’s probably crying because he’s so happy.”
“Happy enough to cry like that?”
“Yeah, he’s been holding it in for so long, worrying alone. He must be relieved to see everything resolving.”
Phii Godt took me back into the room, and as soon as the door closed, the tall man leaned against it, letting me cry into his chest until I didn’t know how much snot and tears had stained his shirt.
Phii Godt’s warm hand touched my hair, gently rubbing it the way he likes to do.
“Ohh.”
Just as Phii Godt said. I cried because I was happy to see those messages. After holding it in for so long, trying to comfort myself that it was fine, that there was nothing wrong, seeing those apology messages, seeing that our silence finally made them accept us, it was something to be truly happy about.
More than that, the reason I cried so hard was because of Phii Godt’s messages.
‘Where’s the problem with me liking a guy? Besides, I like him for who he is, like his attitude, like his view of the world, like how he lives his life, happy every day with himself. I admire him. It has nothing to do with whether he’s a man or a woman.’
For someone who always teases others like him, he has such a cool side.
‘I love him for being himself.’
And he’s incredibly straightforward too.
At first, he was just Godzilla, the loud, annoying, and chaotic neighbor.
This guy never stops surprising me.
If I hadn’t met him, sure, my life might have continued to be happy in my own little world, but I can’t deny that having him by my side is the most special gift in my life.
I love him for being himself too, no matter how loud or chaotic he might be.
“I’m not crying anymore. Ohh.” Slender fingers wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, Phii Godt blew gently on my eyelids, making me squint a little while still sniffling.
“Thank you… sir.”
“Sure, stop crying quickly.”
“I… can’t.” The more he told me to stop crying, the more tears flowed like a dam breaking, turning from “Ohh” to a deep laugh from the person holding me.
“Seriously, I was shocked, thought Wan was pranking us or something. You’ve cried so much your face is all red and swollen.”
I couldn’t help it; by the time I realized it, tears had filled the boiled eggs.
“Will you stop?”
Can’t stop.
[Kiss]
His lips touched mine, making me momentarily pause from my sobbing; the gentle kiss from the taller man made my breathing falter, and the tears that had been flowing stopped as if someone had flipped a switch. I looked into Phii Godt’s beautiful eyes in surprise, and soon after, I felt something odd.
“Hic.”
“Wow, just a hiccup now.”
From sobbing, it turned into hiccups.
“Hic.”
“Prrd.” The tall man let out an ugly laugh, causing me to push him away.
The hiccups, which didn’t seem like they would go away anytime soon, made me step back from his embrace. I didn’t forget to give him a glare. I was about to walk to the fridge to get some water, but before I could take a step, I was pulled back. The playful one kissed me again, making me jump.
His lips gently caressed mine, a slow and gentle touch without any aggression. For almost a minute, he didn’t let me breathe until I had to struggle free. I gasped for air like my life depended on it, coughing continuously, my face hot as if radiating heat towards the person beside me.
“Suddenly kissing me like that… you scared me.”
“Hmm, but you’re not hiccupping anymore.”
True… the hiccups were gone.
“I didn’t believe at first that being startled could stop the hiccups.”
“…”
“But now I do.”
“Believing it now… why?” The person in front of me gave a mischievous smile. He looked completely untrustworthy.
“So that in the future, I can kiss you to stop your hiccups.”
“Crazy.”
I went to grab Smile, who was sleeping on the bed, and threw him at him, but it was ineffective; Phii Godt caught Smile easily in his arms. Plus, he started laughing, a deep laugh like Wan’s, a laugh of someone overflowing with happiness, laughing like a madman.
And I guess I must be mad too, because I even like that crazy laugh of his.
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