MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 26: Differences Sometimes Help Us Understand Each Other Better.
“Red soda is good enough. Why the alcohol, I don’t know, making my life hard.”
Phii Biu grumbled while throwing a damp cloth onto Phii Ton’s face in frustration. The third horror movie hadn’t even finished, and three soldiers were already down—Phii Wan had passed out completely. How could he not? He was drinking alone like a heartbroken man.
Meanwhile, Phii Bell and Phii Ton were in a drinking contest until both were completely drunk, because Phii Ton challenged Phii Bell, saying, “If you can sit longer than I can, I’ll get you Phii Graph’s number.” In the end, Phii Bell lost.
It’s good that both Phii Wan and Phii Bell got drunk. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have slept tonight, too scared of ghosts because of the last horror movie we were watching. I wouldn’t be able to sleep either. Right now, my mind is full of images of Annabelle, the red-cheeked creepy doll.
When I turned to look at the person beside me yawning, Phii Godt isn’t afraid of ghosts. Not just normally unafraid; he said if Annabelle comes, he’ll slap her with a shoe, saying she’s already dead and still wants to haunt people with her bad manners.
He’s really cool, this guy.
I placed a bucket of warm water beside Phii Biu, seeing her, the only woman in the group, wiping down Phii Ton. Suddenly, I had an overlapping image. I wasn’t surprised anymore why Phii Biu would stay in Phii Godt’s room when he was drunk, because it seemed she was the only one who took care of their friends in the group.
“Just leave him be.”
“Shut up, you. When you’re drunk, you’re no better, Godt, and this jerk Ton is squirming around.” Phii Biu pulled Phii Ton’s arm off her neck, annoyed.
“Come on, I’ve said not to worry, I can take care of myself.”
“Like hell you can, vomiting everywhere, what if you choke on your vomit and die?” Though her voice was harsh and she was yelling at her friend, there was deep concern. Phii Godt was about to argue back with his female friend, but I stopped him.
My father once told me that his friend passed away because of alcohol; he got drunk, lay on his back, and choked to death. So I didn’t want Phii Godt to argue with Phii Biu because she was already worried enough. It’s better to waste time looking after a friend than to lose one.
Thinking like that, I went to help Phii Beert wipe down Phii Wan, who was lying red-faced on the bed. Phii Beert had his eyebrows furrowed into a knot, clearly displeased with Phii Wan’s drunken state, but beneath that displeasure was concern.
“Biu.”
“Hmm?”
“Why did Wan drink so much? He doesn’t usually drink like this,” Phii Beert asked with curiosity, his hand moving the towel over his close friend’s arm. “You didn’t say anything to upset him, right?”
Both Phii Biu and I exchanged glances… the person who spoke, he’s now with the gods of alcohol.
“Beert,” Phii Biu moved from Phii Ton to sit beside Phii Beert, then gently placed the towel on Phii Wan’s forehead.
“I’ll be honest, with you, I see no chance.”
“…”
The room fell silent, the only sound being the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“Hmm.”
“I’m not serious about you liking your friend. Godt also wants you to confess to Wan, but we don’t want to see you two fall out… If you want to keep these feelings to yourself, we’ll respect your decision. It’s all up to you, Beert.”
“I know. Just doing this feels like I’m betraying our friendship. Let’s just leave it at that.”
The somber atmosphere in the room made Phii Godt pull me away, as if not wanting me to be involved in what was happening among his friends. I know I’m not one to mingle much with people, especially in groups, I’d immediately distance myself, but I didn’t like seeing the two of them like this.
Phii Beert is like a big brother to me. As for Phii Wan, even though he’s not as warm as Phii Beert, he cares a lot about those around him, he just shows it in a blunt way.
“I’ll go sleep in the junior’s room. You guys sort out the sleeping arrangements.”
“Yeah, take care of the junior.”
Phii Godt pulled me out of his room, but before leaving, I heard Phii Beert say softly to Phii Biu:
“It’s fine, I’ll be friends with him until he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore.”
Loving a friend in secret, it really hurts no matter which side you’re on, doesn’t it?
I think I understand the seniors a bit now. Before, I was just wondering why Phii Pee treated me like that, why he would betray our friendship, but after seeing Phii Beert… I get it now, these feelings really can’t be suppressed.
The door was gently closed before I went to greet the young master in the fish tank. Meanwhile, Phii Godt flopped down on the bed. He seemed not okay, as he came in and just sat there, staring blankly out the glass door.
“Diew, do you think Beert and Wan will be okay?” he asked in a weak voice, like someone who’s exhausted. So, I went to sit beside him, rubbing my hands whenever I felt nervous. I didn’t know what to say.
From what I’ve seen, Phii Wan doesn’t like Phii Beert more than as a close friend.
I know Phii Godt cares a lot about his friends, and Phii Beert and Phii Wan seem to be the closest to him in the group. Seeing his friends unhappy like this must be tough for someone like him. Even I, who have only recently met the seniors, feel not so good about it.
“I… don’t know.”
Phii Godt’s heavy hand landed on my head. He gently rocked it back and forth.
“Let’s go sit on the balcony.”
Phii Godt loves his dog Smile more than I do; he always says to take him wherever we go. I sat looking at Smile for a while as we went out to enjoy the cool breeze on the balcony, listening to the soft ringing of bells from both rooms. The turtle with droopy eyes now looked like Godzilla from the next room.
“Do you know, love takes time, and not just time, but also patience, trust, and care?”
His deep voice broke the silence as I was enjoying Pocky and reading a novel. I turned slightly to look at him; his calm face, his eyes flickering with emotions hard to read.
Phii Godt seemed down, and I started to worry. I don’t like seeing him like this. I like it when he smiles, acts silly. Seeing him so solemn like this, I just wanted to hug and comfort him. I didn’t want to make him feel even more burdened or sad.
“Some take a moment, some take years to click, some are friends, some are siblings, some have secret crushes, some get to know each other gradually.”
I listened intently to what Phii Godt was saying.
“Some people, after dating for over ten years, break up, some remain friends for twenty years and then fall out. Nothing is certain in life, so for me, if you like someone, it’s better to tell them, because you never know if you’ll get that chance again.”
“Hmm,” this time I won’t argue with him because what he said has its own logic.
“And I also know that you’re not okay with a friendship like this, but I still want Beert to confess to Wan. In my opinion, they are so close that if they confess and stop being friends, what would the friendship they’ve built mean?”
I nodded in agreement with Phii Godt.
“I… understand now.”
Now that I understand, I guess I was too biased against the kind of relationship where you secretly love your friend.
People’s thoughts are quite different. The first time I explained to Phii Godt why I don’t like relationships where you secretly love a friend, but this time I’ll listen to Phii Godt, given that he’s been friends with Phii Wan and Phii Beert for a long time. He probably knows what’s best.
As Phii Godt said, love requires many things, and each relationship is unique.
People are in different situations; in reality, friendship isn’t bad at all, especially if both share good feelings. Friendship can be even stronger than a new relationship where people are just getting to know each other.
My concern was probably because I worried that if Phii Beert confessed, Phii Wan might feel the same way I did.
I shouldn’t think for Phii Wan at all.
“Seeing Wan and Beert, I’m scared too, really. I’ve known them for a long time; I know everything about them. If one day they go their separate ways, I would feel terrible too.”
I offered him a strawberry-flavored Pocky, touching it to his lips, which he opened to accept without hesitation.
I didn’t know how to comfort him about this.
“Phii Godt…”
“Hmm?”
“I… I’m not good at comforting others…”
“I’m not blaming you for anything.”
“But if you… need some support… you can hug me.”
My words made Phii Godt look at me with wide eyes. He seemed surprised to hear that, even pinching my nose until I had to scrunch my face. The honey-skinned guy gave a mischievous little smile.
“Who taught you to say things like that?”
“No one.”
“You got that from a novel, didn’t you?” I bit my lip at him and then turned back to my book.
What can I do? I love reading romance novels.
Phii Godt moved closer until our arms were touching, the warmth from his body slowly seeping into mine, as if it was enveloping me.
“I think… Phii Beert and Phii Wan… won’t fall out so easily.”
I, for one, believe in the friendship between those two seniors.
“Give me a hug.”
His broad arms wrapped around me, and I felt his warm breath on my head.
“I know you’ve been alone for a long time.”
“Yeah.”
“If I touch you or do something you don’t like, you have to push me away, okay?”
“Do I have to… do that?”
“Yes, because if you don’t, I’ll take it as consent.”
He really is a bit of a rogue, isn’t he?
“I’m… not afraid of being touched.”
“Every time I touch you, you go as stiff as a rock.”
“That’s because of you… it’s because you… that’s why I get all tense.”
“Then don’t be so cute, it makes me want to nuzzle you.”
With that said, he did exactly what he mentioned, rubbing his sharp nose through my hair until I had to dodge away, but when I tried to escape, he hugged me even tighter. Phii Godt likes to nuzzle my head and cheeks, treating me like a cat.
Being with him like this every day, I’m sure to have love bruises all over.
Crack
I looked away from my book towards the wall that separates my room from Phii Godt’s. If I heard correctly, that was the sound of a glass door opening from Phii Godt’s room. I looked at the person beside me, who had his eyes closed with his earphones on, so I gently removed his earphones. I was about to reach for his phone to turn off the music but stopped when I heard voices from the balcony next door.
“Do you… like Biu?”
Phii Wan’s voice… slurring… he still seemed drunk.
“Who said that?” and Phii Beert’s voice.
Instead of grabbing my phone, I gently shook Phii Godt’s arm to wake him. Phii Godt groggily woke up, and I quickly put my finger to my lips to signal him to be quiet.
“Bell.”
No, I don’t like Biu.”
Phii Beert’s voice conveyed such sadness that it was almost heartbreaking just to hear it once.
“And what Bell said… about you liking a friend.”
“That was just a joke.”
“Really?”
Both fell silent. Phii Godt and I exchanged silent glances.
“If you like Biu… wouldn’t that be good?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Biu can take care of you, having someone to look after you is good, isn’t it?”
“You can take care of me too.”
“Me? Ha, I can’t even make a proper omelet, I turn your shirts pink when I do the laundry, and I’m almost failing my classes. You’re the only one who looks after me.”
“Exactly, I can take care of myself. I can take care of you too, so why should I look for someone to take care of me?”
“Beert…”
“Hmm?”
“I’m serious. If you like Biu, I’m happy for you and her, just tell me.”
“I really don’t like Biu.”
“Then who do you like?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah, I’m your best friend, I should know first.”
“The person I like… doesn’t like me.”
Phii Godt let out a sigh. I moved to hold his large hand to comfort him.
Don’t think too much about it; what will happen will happen. It’s better to let the two of them talk and understand each other.
“Who is it?”
“The person I like is not great, but in their own way, they’re cute. They’re noisy, but once they’ve made a fuss, they feel guilty. They always care about others before themselves but aren’t good at showing it, so after doing something wrong, they rush to apologize because they’re afraid of being scolded.”
“…”
The person I like has liked someone else for a long time. Even after they stopped liking that person, they still never looked at me.”
“Beert…”
“Do you know who I like now?”
“…”
“If you still don’t know, the person I like can’t make a fried egg flat, claiming it’s so you can eat it in one bite. The person I like dyed my university shirt pink because they accidentally washed it with a Hawaiian shirt. The person I like, when they’re upset with me, will curse, but in the end, they always bring sweets to apologize.”
“…”
“Do you know now?”
The voices went silent, and I found myself holding my breath with them. From comforting Phii Godt, it had turned into him comforting me.
I didn’t like this atmosphere at all; it was suffocatingly awkward.
“But you like Biu…”
“I don’t like Biu.”
“But Biu does those things, Biu can’t make a flat fried egg, Biu got my shirt dirty, Biu…”
I didn’t know what happened after Phii Wan’s voice was cut off; I only knew the sounds that followed were of two men breathing heavily, loud enough that Phii Godt had to cover my ears.
“Damn. You guys…”
“Phii Godt,” I looked up at the tall guy who was busy covering my ears. I squirmed away because I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation.
“Why, why do this? Don’t you like Biu? Why are you kissing me like this, why, Beert?” A kiss… Phii Wan didn’t seem that angry with Phii Beert for being kissed. If he didn’t like it, he should have been very angry, but instead, it looked like Phii Wan was upset with Phii Beert. Bang
Before something hit the wall, startling me.
“Wan.”
“You like Biu, so why…” Phii Wan was hiccupping as if he was crying even more…
“I like you.”
Phii Beert confessed.
“…”
I like you. Not Biu, is that clear?”
“But you… you…”
“Do I have to kiss you until my lips rot for you to understand?”
“Why do you go to Biu so often? When I asked Biu, she just said Beert had something bothering him. Why? I’m your best friend, why do you go to Biu? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Wan.”
“Why? Am I not enough for you, Beert?”
“Wan.”
“You can like me. You can kiss me, but give me some time, please, just give me some time, I’ll learn to like you back.”
“…”
“Don’t go to anyone else, just tell me if there’s anything, okay?”
“Okay, I won’t go to anyone else anymore.”
“I promise one day I’ll like you back.”
“Thank you.”
Both voices fell silent. I smiled with joy because I heard that Phii Wan wasn’t angry about Phii Beert secretly liking him; he had misunderstood that Phii Beert liked Phii Biu, which is why he was so upset.
Good, it’s good that they didn’t argue. Didn’t fall out.
“Don’t kiss on my balcony, it’s creepy.”
Phii Godt! I hit the person next to me who suddenly spoke out loud,
Phii Wan responded quickly, his voice clear as if he had just sobered up.
“Damn, Godt!”
“It’s good that it’s cleared up, good that you confessed, I’m glad you guys aren’t fighting.”
“And when did you come to sit here?”
“Oh, I’ve been here with Tiao for a while.”
“Shit.”
“Hey, there are bees everywhere right now. Shall we go back inside?”
The tall guy laughed, Phii Godt quickly pushed me back into the room amidst Phii Wan’s loud complaints.
Phii Godt is really the number one troublemaker.
The glass door was closed. Phii Godt and I looked at each other with smiles, Phii Godt himself must be happy to see his friends opening up to each other. I’m also happy to see Phii Beert and Phii Wan understanding and accepting each other.
I only understood today that when a friendship turns into love, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. I won’t say anymore that having a crush on a friend feels like betrayal because, no matter the kind of love, it has its good and bad aspects.
For Phii Beert and Phii Wan, their love is a friendship where neither wants the other to disappear from their life.
For me and Phii Godt, our love is about patience and understanding each other.
“Thank you… for letting me meet Phii Beert and Phii Wan,” I thanked the person standing not far away. Phii Godt came over, took my hand, and then walked backward to sit on the bed. I stood in front of him, looking down at the owner of those beautiful young-master-like eyes, his warm hand loosely holding mine.
“If it weren’t for you guys, I would probably still have prejudices about having a crush on a friend… for a long time.”
“I’m glad that today you listened to my thoughts.”
“Hmm.”
“From now on, let’s keep listening to each other, okay?”
“Khrap, I’m already doing it even if you don’t tell me.”
“I might… not say things that please you sometimes… put my own thoughts first sometimes… If I do something wrong… you have to tell me.”
“Well, you’re already doing it wrong.”
“What…”
“You’re being too cute.”
After saying this, he pulled my arm towards him until I was straddling him.
“When you do something wrong, you need to be punished.”
Before he grabbed my waist, making me squirm, our laughter echoed in the small square room.
A small world filled with happiness.
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