GODDESSBLESSYOUFROMDEATH, Case File 45: The Gift

After getting plenty of food and stuffed toys, they agreed it was time to head home. Thup hugged the stuffed toy in his arms with a smile on his face.

“Go inside first.”

“Aren’t you coming in with me, Phii?”

“I’ll have a cigarette.” Thup nodded and walked into the house.

Singha took a cigarette, lit it, and as the white smoke floated up into the air, the young inspector sighed before dialing a number he hadn’t saved.

[What’s up?]

   “I’ll come to pick up the case documents tomorrow. I’ll be back in a day or two.”

[Hmm, anything else you want to talk about?]

   “No.”

[So, is this the end?]

   Singha inhaled nicotine into his lungs before hanging up the call. His sharp eyes lifted to gaze at the night sky, where the full moon lit up the entire expanse, along with the stars that twinkle brightly. The events that had passed made him see more than what he used to. Every story, every belief had its reasons and origins. If he had chosen not to listen to Thup that day and just arrested him, putting an end to it by sending him to jail, these terrible stories would probably still continue, along with the false beliefs and the taking of lives.

Singha spent a good while outside thinking about random things before returning inside the house. The scene in front of him caused his brows to knit together tightly. Uncle Chai was being dragged back to his room by Auntie Noi; Merk and Charn, one hugging a wine cask and the other an ice bucket; Darin asleep with her feet resting on Say’s chest, who had been there who knows since when. But what puzzled him the most was the young man who had arrived less than an hour ago, one hand hugging a doll, the other holding an empty glass.

“What the heck is this?” Singha muttered before walking closer to inspect the condition of each person, which could roughly be guessed by the scattered liquor bottles around them, “Thup…”

“Phii… I’m so hot.” It seemed the empty glass he was holding once contained strong liquor.

“Who tricked you this time?” Thup pointed towards Merk and Charn, now passed out.

“How many glasses did you drink?”

Thup put down his glass and raised his index finger in front of Singha, slowly followed by his middle, ring, and little fingers before it all…

“Young man, let them all sleep it off. I’ll go close the house door and sleep too. We’ll clean up their mess in the morning. Go to bed, son.” Auntie Noi said as she walked out with the keys to lock the house.

“Hot.”

“If you’re hot, go take a shower.”

“Phii… are you hot?” Thup looked up with droopy eyes at his older brother.

“Hot.” Singha tapped the back of his hand lightly on the forehead of the kid in front of him. That eager look in his eyes after hearing the reply was truly annoying. “But I’ll shower alone.”

“Young man, I am going to sleep now.”

“Thank you, Auntie, I’ll finish cleaning up and then go to bed.”

“Oh, don’t bother, just leave it. I will clean up later.”

“It’s okay.” Singha smiled politely before starting to stack the dishes to take them to wash.

“Just put them by the sink for me, dear, I’ll wash them myself.”

“Yes.” Singha complied with that by placing the dishes where Auntie Noi instructed, then came back to gather the trash into bags and set them aside, and dragged the good-for-nothings to sleep in their proper places. Every action and movement was under the watchful eyes of the young man, who was swaying back and forth while hugging a stuffed toy to his chest. “Go to your room and sleep, Thup.”

“I want to sleep with you, Phii.”

Singha paused, his hand lifting a jar to align it against the wall for safety of the drunk folks, before he crouched down in front of Thup.

“You want to sleep with me?”

“Uh-huh.” Thup nodded eagerly.

“Then go wait in the room.” The young man sprang up immediately and ran to the bedroom, leaving behind his older brother who chuckled softly with affection.

Singha didn’t take long to tidy up the remnants of the drinking session, restoring it to its pristine condition. He carried Darin to her own room to ensure his friend wouldn’t kick anyone in her sleep, as per her habit. Once everything was settled, Singha entered the room to grab his shower supplies and towel. Initially, he thought Thup would’ve fallen asleep after waiting for a short while, but when he opened the door, he found the kid still waiting, albeit with drooping eyes.

“Why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“Hot.”

“How hot?” Singha walked over and sat in front of the kid whose cheeks were flushed, eyes glistening with a shiny, teary look.

“Very hot…” Thup placed his stuffed toy beside him before cupping Singha’s face in his hands. “I like you a lot, too.”

“I want… want to kiss you, Phii.”

“And what else?”

“Not sure.” Thup gently stroked Singha’s cheek with his thumb.

“Are you sure that’s all you want?” The charming face moved closer, wanting to see the person in front of him more clearly, but his vision was too blurry. “Just know that I want to stay with you… don’t want to be chased away.”

“I’m not chasing you away.”

“Mhm, you told me to behave so I could stay.”

“And have you been a good boy?”

“I’ve been your good boy.” Thup teased with the tip of his nose, rubbing it back and forth against the other’s nose.

“Then come get your reward.” Singha pressed his lips onto the soft lips. No, it was clear this kid had almost no experience; the awkward kiss made him smile with affection before he gently nibbled on the soft lip. “Good boy, open your mouth.”

Thup opened his lips as instructed, the new sensation in his mouth and the slight bitterness made his heart pound so hard it almost escaped. His tongue was cornered, left to allow the person in front to lead. Unconsciously, his flailing hands settled on the waist.

Time passed, but Thup didn’t want to stop at all. Even feeling like he was out of breath, he didn’t want to pause for a second.

“Breathe first.”

As the lips parted, Thup opened his eyes to look, Singha’s face less than a handspan away. He saw his reflection in those midnight-colored eyes; that kiss really had him forgetting to breathe.

“How was it?”

“A bit bitter.”

“Must be the cigarettes.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“This time, I’ll let you do it.” Singha pressed his lips against Thup’s once again. This time, he let the young man slide his tongue in. Thup was quick to learn, but he hadn’t expected to learn about this. The hand on his waist started to squeeze and knead, eliciting a smile from Singha.

Singha straddled Thup’s waist before leaning the young man down onto the bed, their lips still locked in a tangled dance. Singha slipped his hand into Thup’s bothersome t-shirt, pulling it up to reveal his smooth, pale chest.

“Raise your arms.” Thup obeyed easily. Seeing Singha straddling him made him feel like he could die right there, his midsection aching to the point he had to moan softly in his throat.

Those sparkling eyes didn’t miss the gaze of the one on top. Singha began to grind his hips down onto the bulging fabric of Thup’s three-quarter pants, which he had complained about all night.

“Ph… Phii Singha.”

“What?”

“I… I…” Thup swallowed his words as he saw the older man take off his shirt with one arm. The tiger tattoo on his arm looked as fierce as ever. His chest and abs were tight, down to the beautiful V-line. Seeing that tanned, smooth skin drove him nearly mad.

“What about you?”

“I feel like I’m going to die.”

“Die now or do something else first?” Singha leaned down to kiss and nibble at Thup’s neck, dragging his tongue down to his white chest. Every lick and gentle bite made Thup twitch, often drawing laughter from the one doing it so well. “Choose.”

“Ph… Phii, ugh, Phii Singha, no… not dying. Not dying anymore.” Thup raised his head, watching the person who now moved down to kiss repeatedly at his lower belly.

“Continue?”

“I like you, I like you a lot.”

“So, that means continue, right?” Singha used his mouth to pull down the zipper of the pants. The bulge in the white underwear caught his attention significantly.

Thup covered his face with both hands, his face flushed with heat, his hardened core feeling like it was about to explode. Dizziness started to take over, making Thup lift his head, though he wanted to see the older man’s face almost desperately. Once freed from his pants, Singha looked at it for a while before placing his hand on it to tease until there was a glistening drop at the tip.

“Not bad.”

“Ph… Phii, it’s uncomfortable.”

“And what do you want me to do?” Singha said while stroking the young man’s core, who was lying there, “What do you want, good boy?”

“Ple… Please help, ugh, Phii Singha, help me, will you?”

“What will you give in return?”

“Anything, ah, anything at all.”

Singha raised his eyebrows before giving a satisfied smile. He removed his hand and leaned his face close to what was now proudly standing, then ran his tongue along its length to the tip. His hot, moist tongue circled the head before enveloping it with his thick lips, stroking up and down, eliciting soft moans from the boy lying there.

“Phii Singha, ugh.”

Singha moved up and down in a slow, deliberate rhythm; the suction and his tongue swirling around made Thup shudder with pleasure, inadvertently thrusting his hips to gently hit the roof of the older man’s mouth. Singha glanced up slightly before slapping the white thigh, then punished him by increasing the speed of his lips and giving a gentle bite.

“Phii Singha. I, ah. I’m going to…” Before he could finish his sentence, his core, now in Singha’s mouth, released a thick, white fluid that overflowed from the corner of his mouth.

Singha swallowed every drop before wiping away the love fluid that flowed out, unconcerned. He looked at Thup, who was panting heavily, with affection. When the young man opened his eyes to look at the older man, he felt like everything was spinning as if he was on a roller coaster.

“You can sleep now.”

Seeing that Singha was about to get up, Thup grabbed the older man’s hand and pulled him back towards himself. Singha furrowed his brow at the impact as he fell onto Thup, jarring to his wound. The soft sobbing made him look up.

“Hic, does it hurt, Phii? I… I’m sorry, hic, I’m really sorry.”

Singha rolled his eyes because this kid had just started crying. When he’s not drunk, he cries easily anyway. When he’s drunk, it’s even worse.

“No need to cry, I’m not hurt.”

“I, hic. I made you hurt.”

“If you know it’s not good, then be gentle next time.”

“Hic, uh, I’ll be gentle.” Thup nodded vigorously until Singha had to lean down to kiss his smooth forehead, then down to his pronounced nose bridge and both beautiful eyes, his cheeks blushing as his older brother nuzzled him for a while before reaching his full lips which they had kissed countless times tonight.

“Sweet dreams, you little pup.” Singha pulled away before walking out of the room. He looked down at himself, still pushing against his branded pants.

“It’s not small like you, huh?”

After spending over half an hour in the bathroom, Singha returned to the bedroom, where the good kid had already fallen asleep, wearing only his pants. Singha found pajamas in Thup’s bag and changed him into them so he could sleep more comfortably. Once everything was done, he lay down beside him, slowly closing his eyes until he drifted into sleep.

Inside the room, the even breathing of two people sleeping next to each other in the deep night sounded, as if it was a habit or an attraction that turned separate sleeping into moving into each other’s embrace eventually. Thup used to have insomnia due to paranoia. And Singha often had nightmares that woke him up in the middle of the night frequently, but lately, they had been sleeping soundly as long as the other was beside them, even if neither realized it.

The crowing of a rooster welcoming a new day woke Thup up with a headache that felt like his head might explode. Memories slowly flowed back into his mind. He remembered meeting his mother, bringing back her bones, going to the temple fair with Phii Singha, and upon returning home, Phii Merk and Phii Charn told him to try some drink, then they started chatting and drinking with him. After that…

“What happened after that?” Thup tried hard to think, starting to see vague images in his head. He saw Phii Singha… saw Phii Singha doing…

Thup sat up and looked around the room. The bed was empty, making him wonder if he had dreamt it all. He stumbled towards the door, but before he could reach for the handle, it opened. The person standing there made Thup blush, his heart beating out of rhythm.

“Surprised?”

“N… No. You’re up early.”

“Just checking on the drunks.” Singha leaned against the door frame and handed Thup a cup of coffee. “Got a headache?”

“Y… Yes.”

“Then drink this. Aunt made breakfast, it’s in the kitchen. You can eat when your headache is gone, then take a shower. We’re going to the temple.”

“Last night…”

“What about last night?”

“Phii Singha…” Thup averted his eyes, shaking his head until his hair was even messier than before. “Nothing.”

The young man watched the back of the older man, clad in a black tank top, walk away. He remembered the touch, the warmth, the voice, the look in his eyes—everything. But he just wasn’t sure if it was all real.

The youngest in the house walked dejectedly to the bathroom, leaving the newly awakened drunks puzzled.

“What’s up with him?”

“Last night, after we got back from the temple fair, he was still laughing like crazy.” Charn said, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s because you got him drunk, idiot. A kid, just one shot and he’s out.” Merk said, pulling the toothbrush from his mouth, toothpaste foam splattering around.

“Sorry about that.” Charn sighed, making an apologetic face. “Gross, go brush properly.”

“Which dog threw up on me this morning? So clean, huh?”

“Shut up.” Say used a nearby pillow to smack both of them before getting up and walking back to his bedroom.

Thup was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with a downcast look. If last night was just a dream, it would have been a good one for him. But if it wasn’t, why was Phii Singha acting like nothing happened?

“Sigh.” The young man sighed resignedly before taking off his shirt to get ready for a shower, but then his reflection in the mirror made Thup pause.

It wasn’t a dream… Last night wasn’t a dream!!

Because if it were, there wouldn’t be these red love marks all over his body like this. Shoulders, chest, stomach, and lower abdomen, everywhere was covered with kiss and bite marks. Thup quickly put his shirt back on and ran out of the bathroom in a panic.

“Phii Singha!!!”

Singha turned to look at the excited kid standing at the kitchen door, a smirk forming on his lips as if the kid had just discovered a gift. Thup gave the older man a wide smile before running back to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Singha went out to help Uncle Chai fix the car outside, leaving Charn and Merk confused, exchanging puzzled looks.

“Why did he call out and then not say anything?” Charn started to ask.

“And why get so excited just calling Singha?”

“There’s something fishy about this—”

“A secret.”

“How do you know what I was going to say?”

“I looked into your eyes and…”

“Was it a sweet moment?”

“I looked into your eyes and saw the mischief in there.”

“Complimenting me like that, I’m getting shy, Khun Merk.”

“If it’s a compliment for you, Charn, then consider your mind still dirty, huh?” Both smiled at each other before parting ways to attend to their own business.

After getting through the morning chaos, everyone gathered at an old temple in the area. All seven, including Uncle-Chai and Charn, came to pay their respects. Inside the chapel, Thup placed his mother’s bones in front of the Buddha statue, in a pose of Maraviyaja. Then Uncle-Chai helped guide the religious ceremony and together they made merit dedications until everything was completed.

“Are you sure you want to bury the bones here?” Uncle-Chai asked, gently patting the shoulder of the one he considered a nephew.

“Yes, I think Mom would like the frangipani flowers.”

“Then I’ll go get a hoe for you.”

“Thank you, Uncle.” Thup said, gently touching the cloth bundle that had been perfumed with scented water and sprinkled with jasmine flowers, now held close to his chest. He then walked out of the chapel to the spot where he would bury the bones.

“Wait up.” Singha said, unable to resist following Thup out, watching his solitary figure.

They stopped under a frangipani tree within the temple grounds. Thup used to play here often because he loved its scent. He never thought his return would be for this. Slowly, he began to dig with the hoe, with the older man watching nearby. Once the hole was deep enough, Thup placed his mother’s bone bundle into it.

“Mom, it’s nice and cool here. Not hot at all. I think you’d like the smell of these frangipani flowers, so I brought you here. In the mornings and evenings, you’ll hear the monks chanting.” Thup said, smiling into the emptiness. “Oh, I forgot to introduce, this is Phii Singha.”

Singha walked over, sat next to Thup, and gently patted the young man’s head.

“Hello, Auntie.”

“Phii Singha has been taking care of me all the time. I am very lucky to meet good people. I had the abbot, Uncle Chai and Aunt Noi, Phii Singha, and his mom… that’s enough.” For him, this was more than enough. He had a mother who was everything to him. A mother who loved him even when she was no longer alive. That was sufficient, complete without needing a father.

“I’ll take care of him.” Singha’s words made Thup look at his companion immediately. “This kid isn’t hard to look after. I can handle it.”

Thup reached out to the older man, and their palms met, clasped tightly together, leaving no space between them.

“Sleep well, Mom, and one day we will meet again.” Thup slowly shoveled dirt into the grave until it was full, just like the void in his heart that was now filled.

A gentle breeze passed by Thup and Singha, as if acknowledging this farewell.

“Shall we go?”

“Yes, let’s go.” The two walked out without letting go of each other’s hands.

Thup didn’t know if his mother was real or not. He didn’t know what she looked like, whether she was a ghost or angel as told in stories, or if she would look like a creature animal. But for Thup, the person who had been with him since birth, watching over him, helping from afar, and always wishing him well, that person was not a foster mother but his real mother.

  

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