EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 5: Tunnel of Candle Light
I was scrolling through my own Facebook, and it seems the latest photo I posted has become quite the talk. The hashtag #WhoIsTheWatchOwner, is gaining traction, and it looks like everyone’s curious about who it could be. People are guessing all sorts of names, some I recognize, others I’ve never heard of. No one probably knows who the watch owner is. Even the owner themselves might not be aware yet. I’m curious about how they’ll react, if they’ll be angry or embarrassed.
I imagined the face of that small figure getting angry and blushing, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Damn…I’m really in deep.
I did this intentionally because I decided that approaching him directly might be the most effective way, making it clear right from the start. Even if he doesn’t believe it, if I try hard enough, there might be a chance. If I took it slow, he might just push me further away.
Simply put, it’s like we’re going for the catch right away. If we take it slow, the prey might realize and escape, but no matter which method, there’s always a risk.
By now, he probably hates me. But whether he really hates me or not, I’m not sure. But being hated is better than being ignored, because being ignored means there’s no feeling at all.
I don’t want to take it slow like before; in our case, it’s not that simple. I want to be clear and consistent from the beginning.
Got to take the risk…
I’ve told everyone that I’m serious about someone now. At first, it was just playful talk with friends, but word spread fast. It feels like Bua said something about how that team of theirs was starting to get chaotic. I didn’t mean to cause such a stir, but I guess you can’t control these things.
I worry about him. Maybe I’m overthinking, but if I suddenly declare I’m going to pursue someone, I fear he might get treated badly, even if it’s just minor things like being looked at with disdain or spoken about negatively. I don’t want even the slightest negative thing to happen to him.
Is it going to be too hard? To approach him directly without others knowing.
Hmm…should be doable.
The next day…
I’ve been working at the club as usual. Recently, the preparations are almost done. The only thing not quite right is the performance; this year’s drama club is short of people. According to the plan given by the teacher, there should be an opening dance performance, followed by the host speaking, then various performances which the drama club and selected departments are responsible for.
After that, around 6 PM, the concert by the singer invited by the university is scheduled to start.
When it comes to the club event, I guessed Ter wouldn’t show up today either. Since the day I posted the last photo, he hasn’t been coming to work at the club, probably trying to avoid me. He might be confused and overthinking things. I know where his dorm is, but suddenly going to find him might seem too pushy.
“Hill, Nong Ter hasn’t shown up for several days now. After we went to eat Japanese food together, is something wrong?” Bua asked me.
“I don’t think it’s anything serious.”
“But I’ve tried calling him several times and he doesn’t pick up. Maybe it’s because of the Japanese food we ate together, he might be allergic.”
“No, he’s not allergic to Japanese food.”
“How do you know?”
“He ate so much, which means he knows he’s fine.” And he was really cute while eating, stuffing his cheeks like a squirrel. I almost wanted to feed him myself. “Uh, is that so?” Bua said, still looking worried. She always worries too much, but I also felt a bit off not seeing Nong Ter for several days. Rrrrrrr
“Oh, Nong Ter is calling right now.” Bua picked up her phone. I told Bua to put it on speaker so I could listen too.
“Hello Nong Ter, I’ve called you so many times, why didn’t you answer? Are you okay? I was really worried, thinking something might have happened to you. You’ve been gone for days.” Bua spoke rapidly, probably leaving the person on the other end a bit stunned.
(Er…sorry, uh…I’m not feeling too well.) The voice on the phone said, sounding like he wasn’t very good at lying.
“Really? Is it because of an allergy to the food? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken you to that restaurant.”
(No, it’s not that…just a common cold.)
“Oh, I see, but you’ve been gone for days, how long have you been sick?” (Uh…about…a couple of days, I guess.) His voice stuttered a bit, probably not expecting such a detailed interrogation, but Bua didn’t seem to notice, or maybe I was just too observant about him.
“That’s bad, have you seen a doctor yet?”
(Not yet.)
“Shouldn’t you go see a doctor then? It’s been two or three days and you’re not getting better. This is concerning. Do you want Hill to take you?”
(No!! …Uh, sorry. It’s okay, thank you.)
“Don’t hesitate, and do you have a friend to keep you company?”
(No, my roommate is out.)
“The kid is all alone, what should we do, Hill?” Bua turned to ask me.
(…) The other end of the line didn’t say anything further.
“Then let me come pick you up and take you to the hospital.” I said into the phone.
(No, no, I’m about to go out.) He replied immediately, his voice starting to sound flustered, making it quite obvious.
“Oh, really? But a sick person should rest.” I thought he was actually going out and had called Bua to inform her because he felt guilty for being absent for several days. Suddenly, I realized something, so I quickly headed to my car.
“Wait…where are you going?” Bua asked.
“To pick up the sick one, can I borrow your phone for a moment?” I said that before muting the phone briefly to start the car, intentionally not letting the person on the other end hear, though I could hear Bua muttering behind me but not stopping me; she probably thought I was going to take him to the hospital.
(No, I have an errand, I’ll hang up.)
“Are you faking being sick?” I said this not to scold but to buy time. Why buy time? Well, if he’s still talking to me, he’s probably not left his room yet. From here to his dorm isn’t far. Just a short drive from the university.
(N…I’m not faking. I’ll hang up.)
“If you don’t come to work, your hours will be docked, you know that, right?” I added a small threat, but docking hours for scholarship students was true. Even if it starts from the beginning of the semester.
(…Huh? Will I get docked too?)
“Yes, I’ll deduct the hours you didn’t work. If I really do that, you could lose your scholarship.” I pretend to say, actually, it’s not enough to lose the scholarship yet.
(…No.)
“So, are you really sick or not?”
(…Really sick.)
“Alright, then I’m coming to pick you up.” Even though I said that, I was already almost at his dorm.
(No!)
“Why, though?”
(…) He didn’t answer, probably not daring to say anything bad because I was acting like we had just met, and I thought he might not want to pretend we knew each other before either. If that’s the case, let’s keep it smooth for now.
“Then I’ll come pick you up.”
(No need!) And then he hung up. He must not have wanted to continue the conversation. But I had already arrived at the front of the dorm. I guessed it wouldn’t be long before someone with a surprised face came running down.
My guess was right. Someone hurried down the stairs, wearing a black and white t-shirt, dark jeans, and sneakers, and he had a camera with him, indicating he was probably going out to take photos.
Ter saw me and looked utterly shocked, then he started to fidget. I smiled at him.
“How are you doing, sick guy?”
“…Phii?” He avoided my gaze again, his face starting to turn red. I approached, and he seemed even more shocked, quickly stepping back. Why does he look so cute and adorable like this!
“You don’t look sick at all, that’s great.”
“…” The other party slightly scrunched up his nose in annoyance. It seemed like I had fully caught him in his lie.
“Where were you planning to go to take photos?” “…” He still didn’t answer.
“Then get in the car.” I walked over and grabbed his small wrist to follow me, but he immediately shook off my hand.
“No. Not going!”
“Don’t be stubborn.” I accidentally used a phrase I often used with him before, and it seemed like he didn’t like it much.
“Not going!” The small guy was still stubborn, but his face and ears were clearly flushed red.
“Okay then, I’ll tell Bua that actually you’re not sick, but you lied about being sick to skip work.” I threatened while pulling out my phone, pretending to dial Bua’s number. Of course, no one would answer because Bua’s phone was in my car.
“…Don’t, please don’t tell her.” The person in front of me started speaking in a softer tone before furrowing his brows and looking up at me. Not long after, he averted his gaze again.
“Then get in the car.” I walked over to open the passenger door for him, and he slowly followed. “You’re cheating.”
“Only with stubborn people.” I smiled while gently closing the car door, then went to the driver’s side and started the car immediately.
And in the car, there was no sound other than the air conditioning and the soft music from the radio. Actually, I was a bit nervous too, meeting someone I didn’t expect to see. And when we last parted, it was at its worst. But he seemed more nervous than me, trying to keep it in, constantly looking out the window, his body tense. I drove along, occasionally sneaking glances at him.
“Where are we going?” he asked after a long silence.
“To a photo spot, the view is really beautiful.” I knew of a place perfect for taking photos, somewhere he probably hadn’t been. I was sure he’d like it.
…
A few days ago
Back then, my heart started to feel different from usual.
It was siding with itself, even though my brain was strictly forbidding it. I scanned through the same status an unknown person had posted repeatedly, to reassure myself I wasn’t misreading.
That was my watch and my plate. Was he implying someone else…?
If he meant someone else, why do this?
And if he meant me, then I’d ask why he did it too…
Even if my heart was still stubborn, the lesson was to keep it at bay…No matter what he does, I shouldn’t care, right?
Yes…there’s no room for him in my heart anymore…That’s what I thought.
Just a photo!. Am I already this weak, Ter? Stay strong!
“Ter…are you okay?” North’s familiar voice snapped me out of my reverie.
“I’m okay, why do I not look okay?” I kept my face neutral.
“Nah, you just zoned out suddenly. What’s with this picture?” North asked, pointing at the photo displayed on my computer screen.
“Nothing, I was just shocked.”
“Hill Rachakitti, oh, is that Hill, the doctor? Do you know him?”
“Huh, do you know him too?”
“He’s quite famous, you know.”
“Really?” I was thinking whether to tell North or not…better tell him. At least, there’s someone to talk to, to consult with, “Did you see the caption? What do you think about it?”
“Flirting, I guess.” He paused for a moment, “Probably with the one sitting opposite.” “Me.”
“Huh?”
“I was the one sitting opposite.” I sighed, “Remember when I told you that senior took me out for a treat?”
“!!!!” North looked shocked and stared at me in disbelief, then turned to look at the screen again, “Yeah. Looking closely, it’s your watch.” He lifted my left wrist where I was wearing that watch.
“See? You’re still shocked.”
“Shit, yeah, I’m shocked. And it’s with another guy, no less.” He furrowed his brow, “I’m not saying it’s about gender, but I thought that senior already had a girlfriend. I’ve seen a lot of news about it.” “Yeah, I’ve heard that too.”
“Did you guys know each other before?”
“We went to the same school.” Not exactly a lie, but I wasn’t ready to tell the whole story yet.
“And have you talked to each other?”
“A little.”
“Did he show any signs of liking or being interested in you?”
“No.” Nothing unusual happened when we met at university, it was just me being paranoid about everything.
“But with a caption like this? What do you think?”
“Me? I don’t think anything.” I said.
“Oh, man, the girls at uni must be crying over this. Aren’t you going to try talking to him?”
“Nah, I’m not interested.”
“Are you going to reject him?”
“I might not even know what to think. He might just be joking.” I said what I thought, and I hate this kind of joke the most.
“That’s tough, if it were me, I’d be super uncomfortable, especially since he’s a senior at the club, right?” “Yeah, it’s hard for me too.”
“Come on. It’s better if you just ignore it. If there’s something, just reject it outright.”
“Umm.”
I was still caught up thinking about that, my confidence that I thought would remain unshaken was starting to wane. Sigh…can’t it be like this? After that, I didn’t go to the club for several days, intentionally avoiding it, making it clear that I wasn’t okay. Phii Bua called multiple times, but I didn’t answer any of them. She must be worried.
I should call in sick to makePhii Bua stop worrying. So today, I’ll go out for a walk and take some photos, since North isn’t in the room.
Yes…
It’s clear that I’m not okay…
So why did I get dragged into this car?! For heaven’s sake. What am I doing in this car with this person, the one I’ve been trying to avoid? This guy is really bad.
Who said doctors are handsome and kind-hearted? Take those words back!
He threatened me!!
I said I was sick and was about to rush out of the dorm, but there he was, leaning against his car looking all cool. And I, unfortunately, had my camera slung over my shoulder as evidence.
Is this Easter or what, am I a hamster caught in a trap?
Phii Hill was driving with such ease, even though the AC was on full blast, I felt like I was in a heater, all hot. Outside, the sky had been overcast since morning. You didn’t need a weather forecast to guess it would rain. It would have been nice to go take photos around the foothills.
But here I am! And I don’t even know where we’re going!
The luxury car turned into a small alley, and soon we entered a temple area.
Huh? Did he bring me to a temple?
The car stopped in a small parking lot, the sign in front indeed said it was a temple, but inside, it didn’t look like one at all. It was very spacious, surrounded by forest.
“Have you been here before?” asked the deep voice next to me, as if he really wanted an answer from me. Do you have to stare so intently?
“No…I haven’t.” I answered quietly.
“Then let me be your guide.” said Phii Hill before getting out of the car. I undid my seatbelt, and before I realized it, he had already opened the car door for me. Oh my, such a gentleman!
I didn’t say anything, just held my camera tightly in both hands, sweaty. I walked slowly behind the taller figure. Phii Hill seemed a bit taller than last year, maybe around 180-182 cm. He was already in good shape before, but since going to university, he’s got a bit more muscular, not too much to be scary, just enough to make the girls scream. That handsome face still had that gentle smile, and his way of speaking hadn’t changed; he was still polite and soft-spoken.
Just wearing ordinary clothes, a shirt, and jeans, he still looked better than most folks. Perfection like that, who wouldn’t like it? Let others like him all they want, but I’ll pass!
Suddenly, the tall figure turned and smiled at me. I automatically looked away, oh boy. Shouldn’t have stared for so long, I guess. I heard Phii Hill chuckle quietly. Normally, I wouldn’t dare to look, but since I was looking from behind, to be honest, we’ve never really made eye contact since we met. I’m just not brave enough…
“This is an old temple.” Phii Hill said in a pleasant voice, almost like a tour guide. “Before, this whole area was just forest, so the temple is quite spacious. It’s also very close to nature. The architecture is in the Lanna style, with most of the walls made from bricks, hardly any modern additions, preserving the Lanna identity. I find it quite enchanting.”
I listened intently, then turned to take pictures of the flowers by the path. The atmosphere was quite nice, especially with no harsh sunlight today. The other party waited patiently for me to finish without complaining, even sneaking a little smile.
“You take beautiful photos.” a voice from behind startled me; Phii Hill had snuck up to look at the photos I took from behind without me noticing.
“Hey…don’t look!” I said, moving away. Oh no…what if my heart gives out now?
Sigh, I hope my face isn’t turning red again.
“Be the photographer for me for a bit.” He said with that sweet, gentle smile. I’m so weak because of that. Not just me; in the past, the girls in my class would scream at that smile. It really does tug at the heartstrings, so I try to avoid looking directly at it.
“No, it’ll waste memory.” I said, not entirely serious. He chuckled softly.
“You know, I rarely let people take my picture.”
“I’ve seen plenty.” I said, thinking of all the social media posts, people asking for photos with him; how could he not have many photos?
“You saw my pictures too? That makes me happy.” He said with a broad smile.
“People share them.” I tried to keep my voice normal to hide how nervous I was deep down.
“Yes, at least you’ve seen them, right?”
“…I guess.” I answered quietly, avoiding the question, noticing a small path leading into the forest. It looked mysterious. He probably noticed my gaze and explained.
“This path leads to the monks’ quarters, see? There’s an old man cleaning over there.”
Oh, that’s right, indeed.
“Let’s go.”
I started to see something in front of me. Excitingly, there were old steps made of small bricks with two giant statues by the side, and a shop selling souvenirs and offerings next to it.
I carefully walked up the steps, not forgetting to take photos, with Phii Hill leading the way. I tried not to pay attention, but I could see from the corner of my eye that he was still watching me without letting me out of his sight. Sigh, what’s with him! Anyone would get tense under such a gaze!
When we reached the upper level, on the right, there were religious art exhibitions, on the left, a viewpoint, and in front, a wall with tunnel openings. I saw a few tourists, but not many. A lot of them were heading into the tunnel; it must be the highlight here.
But I hadn’t seen any Buddha statues to pay respects to yet.
“The actual temple is inside.”
“Huh?”
“Want to go inside and have a look?” Phii Hill asked. I wouldn’t refuse, I’ve never seen anything like this before. I walked in, took off my shoes, and placed them where they should go. Phii Hill told me to go in first.
Inside, it was almost pitch dark except for the soft glow of yellow candles placed at intervals. The murals on the walls and ceiling left me in awe of their beauty. Just looking, you could tell how much care was put into them. Even though time had faded them, the scent of fragrant candles and fresh flowers filled the air. I couldn’t help but think how romantic the atmosphere was, like stepping back into the ancient Lanna world.
“Ter, look to the left.” He said, and I turned to see a small path leading to a Buddha statue. We both put our hands together in prayer. Then, as we walked further, we encountered more statues and some parts of the tunnel walls were natural rock faces. I was so thrilled by this new experience that I momentarily forgot who I was with. Just earlier, I nearly tripped over a step, but Phii Hill caught my arm just in time. Not sure if it was just my imagination, but he seemed to be looking out for me the whole time. He’s always this kind, not just to me.
We walked until we reached the end of the tunnel, exiting at the back of the viewpoint. I wanted to go see the view, but we didn’t have our shoes, so we had to walk back the same way.
Tap!
Tap!
It started raining!
Damn…the rain just had to start pouring down now, and we didn’t bring an umbrella. This forced me, the other person, and other tourists to take shelter near the entrance of the tunnel to wait out the rain, but it didn’t look like it would stop anytime soon. The raindrops came down relentlessly, turning the view into a curtain of rain where you could hardly see through, and the wind picked up, sending sprays of rain our way.
Thump
Something covered me. I turned to look at the person beside me.
A shirt?
Phii Hill had taken off his outer shirt and given it to me, leaving him in just his inner t-shirt. He turned and gave me a gentle smile.
He’s…too kind.
I ducked my head to hide my face which was turning hot, certain my cheeks and ears were bright red. My heart started beating faster, almost as if it might leap out of my chest. Damn…what kind of doctor are you, trying to give someone a heart attack like this!
“Uh…thank you.” I murmured softly, probably too quiet to be heard over the sound of the rain.
“It’s nothing.” He replied. Oh, he heard me? Phii Hill’s smile was still as gentle as ever. I felt an inexplicable warmth, with the curtain of rain in front of us and the candlelit tunnel behind.
“Can I ask for something?”
“No.” I said without looking at the tall figure. “Please?” The doctor’s voice was coaxing.
“Uh, what is it?”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“…”
Shit…my heart! Don’t you dare jump out!
I slowly extended my hand towards him, feeling the warmth as he gently took it.
Honestly, I was too embarrassed to look at him.
Thump!
Thump!
Damn, my legs were starting to feel unsteady now!!
“Can I ask for something else?”
“No!” I answered immediately. What more could there be? Are you trying to get an inch when you’ve already got a foot? I’m already breathless from this!
“This is the last thing I’ll ask.”
“What now?”
“Can I ‘court’ you, Ter…please?”
“No!!!!”
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