EASTTAGYOUREMINE, Chapter 15: Our Past
“This Hill is really Hill.”
Johan said it as if he was quite used to it. I was a bit taken aback by the phrase “whatever” from the person next to me. I thought Phii Hill would be more considerate, especially since Phii Thanmild has known him for so long, and she seemed to be quite affected.
The reason I thought Phii Hill was considerate is probably because he has always been attentive to me, my sister, my friends, and those around me.
He would be the Phii Hill who takes care of everything.
If Christy had told me to observe more closely, what I might notice is…that in reality, Phii Hill might not care about anyone at all.
Except for me.
So what, now my heart is starting to feel uneasy again, I feel a sudden warmth spread across my chest.
Sigh…
“Umm, before this, Hill didn’t really care. He just didn’t say anything, but now that he has spoken…”
“Thanmild probably thought that. You shouldn’t have said anything at all, it’s like stabbing me in the heart.”
I listened to the seniors talk about Phii Thanmild for a while. It seemed like not many were really concerned about her. A few might say they were worried, but not to the extent of rushing over to check on her. This was different from how other star members seemed to care a lot for their medical faculty star.
The more Phii Thanmild cried, the more attention she got, which probably led to some dislike towards Phii Hill as well.
Just like that senior said, I guess. Just by crying, you get everything? That’s what they call unfair.
“Ter, hey there! I’m here!” Foam’s voice from behind made me turn around quickly to look. Finally, Foam, Phoon, and Fah had arrived.
“Um…” They moved chairs to sit behind me, looking a bit tense because it was full of seniors. Hmm, it’s not just them. I’m also quite tense. Meanwhile, Tonfa went to sit near Johan and Arthit.
“Nong Ter…Are these your friends?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon respectfully greeted the seniors with a slight bow.
“Yes. I’m Foam, and this is Typhoon.”
“Hello, I’m Phii Meili, the one in charge of Nong Ter’s photography duties.”
“Oh, so you’re really here to take photos.” Foam raised an eyebrow and looked at the camera hanging around my neck. “Really, why would I lie?”
“Wow. Not bad, why didn’t you invite Phoon too? He’s like a pro photographer.” Foam said.
“Oh, right, Phoon, you like photography, right?” Foam’s words reminded me that Typhoon indeed loves to take photos, even more seriously than I do, who only takes photos occasionally.
“Yeah, but I don’t take pictures of people.” Phoon said. I couldn’t tell why he looked so uninterested, almost annoyed for some reason.
“Oh, then what do you take photos of?” Phii Meili asked, “Is your name Nong
Phoon? Oh, how cute, and look, your cheeks are red, did you get sunburned?” Phoon gave a shy smile after Phii Meili’s teasing. It seems like Phii Meili teases almost every guy.
“Wow, compliment me too, I’m feeling left out.” Foam said jokingly.
“Okay, okay, Nong Foam you are cute too.” Phii Meili said with a playful tone, reaching up to pinch Foam’s cheek lightly.
“I photograph the sky.” Typhoon replied.
“The sky? How do you do that?” Phii Meili asked, trying to picture it in her mind.
“Show her your Instagram, Phoon.” I suggested, remembering that Phoon’s Instagram was full of his sky pictures.
Typhoon then took out his phone and opened his Instagram for Phii Meili to see.
It was all sky photos, like the whole account was curated with shades of blue. Phoon’s sky for each day, the sunset, the sunrise, during the rain, during storms, clear skies, cloudy skies, and even the night sky dotted with stars and moonlight.
There were some photos that also captured the sea since Phoon’s house is near the beach, but even those were in a blue tone.
“Using the username ‘Sky Collector’, huh? Wow, these are beautiful. Why only the sky?” Phii Meili asked after scrolling through Phoon’s Instagram.
“It’s beautiful. I like the blue tones; if I take pictures of trees or other things, the colors clash. It’s not as pretty.”
“The captions are almost the same for every picture.”
“Hehe, just a little.” Phoon smiled shyly before taking his phone back from Phii Meili.
“You’re strange, you know? At least post some other kinds of photos on Instagram. One of my friends likes to take sky pictures too, but not every single photo is like yours.”
“That’s my thing.”
“But for the closing scene, they want the background to be the sky, I’m stressed. Can you help me take some photos?” I asked Phoon. If he could help, I’d feel much less worried.
“Probably not, I’m not good at taking pictures of people.”
“Come on, just help me out.”
“I can just watch, I won’t take any photos.”
“Yay, that’s still good.” I said happily. If it’s about capturing the sky as a backdrop, I trust Phoon.
I turned to talk quietly with Foam and Phoon, letting the senior stars continue their conversation. It seemed like no one really paid much attention to us, and Phii Hill didn’t say anything either.
But I didn’t turn to look, so I don’t know what he was doing at that moment. “Um…excuse me, are you Phii Hill?” Foam asked, and the person in question turned to look at who was calling him.
“Yes?, that’s me. Do you know me?”
“A little, I often see you on the Cute Boy page.”
“Oh, I see.” Phii Hill smiled. He didn’t show any signs of annoyance. He seemed to be waiting for Foam to continue.
“Uh…I’m Foam, a friend of Ter.” Foam gave a slight dry smile, probably feeling a bit nervous, not knowing what else to say.
“Yes, nice to meet you.” His friendly demeanor helped ease the tension for the one who greeted first. Imagine if you greeted someone and they scowled at you, no one would like that.
“And you must be Nong Phoon, right?” Phii Hill asked, and Phoon jolted slightly.
“Oh…yes, that’s right. Nice to meet you.” Phoon seemed even more tense than Foam. I can understand, because Phii Hill comes off as somewhat hard to approach, which makes me feel tense too. “Yes, did you guys get lost on your way here?”
“Wow, Nong Ter…” Suddenly, Phii Meili whispered in my ear, “Dr. Hill is talking to someone he just met. How is this possible? When we first met, he barely talked to me.”
“Um…it’s probably not that extreme.” I gave Phii Meili a forced smile. It’s probably not that bad, right?
“Exactly. Even if you tell Dr. Jo, he’d say the same thing.”
“Is that really true?” I made a face as if I didn’t quite believe it, but Phii Meili looked very confident.
“Yes, we got lost near the alley in front of the university, Phoon gave the wrong directions.”
“You’re the one who turned the wrong way, Foam.”
“You told me to turn left!”
“Right, into the science department alley.”
“That’s right, not left!”
“Oh…really…”
I sighed quietly to myself, I had already guessed that these two wouldn’t make it anywhere together in a car, but that doesn’t mean having me along would make it any better. Who can remember the way, anyway? I’m just glad I can remember the way back to my dorm.
“And did Fah come to pick you up?” I asked.
“Yes, Fah is great with directions. We were just guessing the way, not really remembering it, but Fa still got it right.” Foam said, “Oh, right, Phoon, we haven’t thanked Phii Tonfa yet.” “Oh…yeah, we should.” “It’s no big deal.”
“I think Fah was happy to do it.” Phii Hill added.
We all looked a bit confused by Phii Hill’s words for a moment. Before anyone could ask anything, Phii Napdao announced that it was time for rehearsal again. “I’ll go first then, remember, no more sun exposure, understand?” Phii Hill emphasized what he had said before, making me frown slightly. He was talking to me like I was a child, but with his openly concerned look, I softened.
Fine, I won’t argue.
I gave a small nod to show I understood.
Once all the moon faculty members left, leaving just us, Phii Meili, and Johan’s group, a silence fell, and the way my two friends were looking at me made me feel uneasy.
“…”
“Uh…what? Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, perplexed.
“…” Foam and Phoon furrowed their brows, looking at each other, then turned back to me with an interrogative gaze, “What’s up with you?”
“Why me?” I started to sweat, guessing they were going to ask about Phii Hill, but I still didn’t dare to say anything first.
“What was that just now?”
“That tender look from earlier.”
“Plus, that concerned sentence.”
“What’s going on, Ter?”
“I sense something’s not normal here.”
“Something that suggests you’re more than just acquaintances.”
“Don’t keep secrets from your friends.”
“Spill it, Ter.”
“Spill it!”
“Oh, you guys…can’t you ask nicely?” I said to quell the two who seemed intent on extracting something from me, as if I wasn’t going to tell them anything. At this point, I was certainly going to tell them.
“You just won’t say anything.”
“You guys kept asking so rapidly I couldn’t even get a word in.”
“Okay, okay, then tell us. We’ll listen attentively. It’s fine, even if you’ve secretly gotten a girlfriend without telling us. Even though I’m hurt that you have secrets, we’re friends, I can handle it.”
“Foam, would you let me speak first? I’m about to say it.”
“Ha ha, just kidding, go ahead and tell us.”
“Um…it’s like.” I paused to organize my thoughts before recounting. I wasn’t sure where to start, “Phii Meili, could you help me out?” In the end, I sought help from Phii Meili.
Phii Meili sighed softly because she was also eager to hear what I had to say, but now she had to tell the story herself.
“You already know Dr. Hill, right?” Phii Meili asked, and Foam and Phoon nodded in response, “You know the news, right? From the early posts with the hashtag ‘Dr. Pay-for-Play’, who is the owner of the watch?”
“Oh, I remember, it was all over my feed, everyone’s talking about it. Dr. Hill’s really an everywhere interest.” Phoon said. Foam wasn’t surprised because he always follows these kinds of news, but even Phoon, who usually doesn’t care much for gossip, was talking about it.
“And there’s the latest clip where he rejected Dr. Mild.”
“I saw it this morning, and my faculty friends were sharing it.” Foam added. “Is it the same person, both the one who posted and the one who said they care more?” Phoon asked.
“Absolutely.” Phii Meili confirmed, “It’s the same person causing all this stir among the fans, the watch owner, and now Hill’s heart owner too.”
“Or could it be…” And then Foam and Phoon both turned to look at me with the same look.
“Holy crap!! That’s peak!!”
“Yeah, really peak.”
“You didn’t tell us!”
“How am I supposed to just go around telling people? Give me some time.” I said. It’s true, isn’t it? I can’t just go around telling everyone that I’m the one Phii Hill posted about, can I?
“Oh man, you, it’s you, my sister spent all day investigating, and it’s you!!” Foam said, holding his head, “Do you know, if they could check the DNA of the person in the photo, they would’ve done it by now. And all those senior friends, they’re super pissed, it’s exhausting just watching.”
“Your sister?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, so what? My sister, she’s at this uni too. She’s just one of the fans. You broke her heart, I’m not talking to you now.” “You’re funny, Foam, what did I do wrong?”
“Kidding, kidding. She loves you, forget about everyone else.”
“That phrase sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Phii Meili turned to tell me, “Forget everyone else, just give your heart to the doctor.”
“What kind of love are we talking about here?” I frowned to hide my embarrassment. Foam and Phoon burst out laughing at my reaction.
“Embarrassed, huh? Ter is embarrassed, hee hee, want me to take a picture for your doctor?” Foam said while making a playful face and pretending to raise his phone, but he actually took a photo.
“Wait, Foam, what are you taking pictures of?!”
“For your doctor, I might get paid ten baht per photo.”
“Dr. Hill probably pays a hundred per photo, for a good shot it could be five hundred.” Phii Meili said with a playful smile, lifting her chin. “That’s what you get with a paying doctor.”
“Really? Then I’m in, Ter, give me the camera.” Phoon was getting involved too? And Foam, are you seriously going to take pictures? Why play such heavy pranks? “What’s with you guys, Phoon, don’t mess with my camera. Foam, if you’re taking photos like this, you could even snap a video of Jo.” I swatted Phoon’s hand away as he tried to snatch my camera and turned to snark at Foam.
“Really? Then I’ll just take a video of Jo, whoa, his face is turning red now.”
“Ter, let me borrow the camera for a bit.”
“Oh, you guys…” I raised my hand to my forehead, this is exactly why I didn’t want them to know!
“What are you guys playing at?” Johan’s voice cut through, making them stop teasing me immediately. Then, the three doctors moved closer to us since everyone else had left.
“We’re taking photos of Ter, we’ll give them to Dr. Hill.” Foam said, and I looked at him with a glare. The seniors laughed, finding it amusing.
“That’s good, if Hill is paying a hundred or two per photo. If we take ten photos tonight, we’ll have money for dinner.” Arthit said playfully.
“Even Phii Arthit?” I said weakly. Being ganged up on isn’t fun at all T^T.
“I got it now.” I turned towards Phoon’s voice, how did he manage to grab my camera? It was hanging around my neck! “You’re really easy to rob, sweet thief like me.”
“Don’t point out my weaknesses, what if Ter gets mobbed for his camera next time?”
“It’s okay.” Phoon said, “Dr. Hill will come to the rescue, hahaha.”
“You guys are crazy.” I muttered under my breath in annoyance, sticking out my tongue at them, “You’re taking advantage now, just don’t let it be your turn.” “So, you’re going to take photos of Ter?” Foam asked Phoon. Great, now they’re going to take embarrassing photos of me with my own camera. What are they made of, really?
“Let’s see.” Phoon raised the camera, getting ready to take a shot, and even Foam turned to watch. I just stood there making a face at the camera, “Your camera works well. Let me borrow it next time.”
“Sure, just don’t take pictures of me, go take your sky pictures.”
“Can you take a photo of Ter for Instagram?”
“No, it doesn’t fit the theme.”
“Next time, have Ter wear sky blue, so he doesn’t break the theme.”
“I’d have to be an avatar then.” I rolled my eyes at them. If I want to fit into Phoon’s Instagram feed, I’d have to go all out.
“Phoon took good pictures of you, though. They look better than the real you.
Would Dr. Hill buy this one, I wonder? It doesn’t even look like Ter.”
“Ugh, that’s enough from you two, give me back the camera.” I said, feeling a bit fed up with being teased. Sometimes you need a break, right? Foam and Phoon made slightly disappointed faces before reluctantly handing back the camera. I deleted the photo Phoon just took. It wasn’t that it was bad, but for some reason, I felt embarrassed, like I was forced into posing. Which, to be fair, I kind of was.
“Delete it from your phone too, Foam.”
“It’s on, I’ll pitch it to the doctor first.”
“Are you serious?” Phoon raised an eyebrow at his friend, “I thought you were just joking around with Ter.”
“Dead serious. If the doctor buys, I’ll take photos every day, could do with the cash.” Foam said, “Might even sneak some shots when you’re in the bathroom.”
“Creep.” I couldn’t help saying, even though I knew he was joking.
“By the way, are those friends of Phii Hill?” Foam whispered. I glanced over; it seemed like the seniors weren’t paying much attention to us, either chatting or playing with their phones. I nodded in acknowledgment, “Wow, they’re all hot, did they recruit based on looks or what? Right, Phoon?”
“Huh, oh, yeah.” Phoon replied mechanically, his gaze lingering on Tonfa for a moment before looking away.
It might be nothing, but I sensed something in Typhoon’s eyes when he looked at Tonfa. It was kind of like…when I used to secretly watch Phii Hill. Back when I had a one-sided crush on him.
But then again, maybe I was just imagining things.
“Phii Hill is really handsome, isn’t he? Never thought he’d actually go for you.” Foam couldn’t help but bring up the same topic again. I asked for a break from the teasing, “So why did he go for you, did you know him before?”
“Yeah, spill everything, man.” Phoon added. I looked around; Phii Meili was sitting closest, but she was now busy with her phone. The other seniors were as usual, not interested in us. So, I decided to tell them the whole story, which wasn’t much different from what I’d told North and Phii Meili. “Oh, that’s how it is. What about your sister?” Foam asked.
“Christy said she’s come to terms with it. They’ve sorted things out.”
“No, no, your sister, does she have a boyfriend yet?”
“If my sister is going to date someone, it definitely won’t be you.” I said. “Harsh.”
“Definitely, I’m protective.” How could I not be protective over my only sister? Honestly, I’m also worried about Christy having a boyfriend. She’s so cute, I’ve turned into someone who brags about his sister, but I’m absolutely going to keep Foam at arm’s length. He’s totally untrustworthy.
“So tomorrow, when the page comes for the interview, everyone at the university will know.”
“Hmm.” I paused, “I kind of don’t want them to know, actually.” I said. I’m a bit scared too, just the star club knowing about it already leads to some negative comments. I wonder what it’ll be like if everyone knows.
I say I won’t care, but sometimes I’m not sure if I can handle it. My confidence is wavering.
“Nong Ter, are you worried?” Phii Meili turned to ask, “I could tell Dr. Hill to cancel the interview. We can do it tomorrow instead.”
“Is that possible? The page was going to donate a lot of money.”
“Of course. If Dr. Hill says he won’t do it, who could stop him? Even Phii
Napdao wouldn’t dare force him, he doesn’t care about anyone, you’ve seen that.” Phii Meili said, “If Nong Ter just says he’s not okay with it, Dr. Hill won’t do it for anyone else.”
Hearing Phii Meili say that, I couldn’t help but smile without realizing it.
It feels good to know that someone cares about me.
“Dr. Hill is worried just like you, you know. Before this, he even came to ask me if he made the right decision to make his intentions clear to everyone.” “I told him he did, because if it’s unclear, it would be a hundred times more painful.”
“When he asked, his eyes were so hesitant…even though Dr. Hill is usually incredibly self-confident.”
I was speechless at Phii Meili’s words. That was the time Phii Hill said he had asked Phii Meili for advice, after I was insulted by Phii Tun. It wasn’t just me who was hurt by that incident.
Phii Hill was also affected in the same way.
“No need to cancel, it’ll be fine.” I said. It should be fine…Phii Hill would probably make sure everything doesn’t get worse, but I’m not sure if I can watch the interview without my heart giving out. I might need to buy some smelling salts beforehand, sigh, stay strong, Ter.
“Love stinks.” Foam said, sticking out his tongue, “So, are you guys going to be a couple?”
“You’re asking too soon, aren’t you? What’s the rush?” Phoon said.
“And now Hill is this serious about it.”
“Give Ter some time, they’ve just started understanding each other. Both pairs have been through a lot of pain for a year now.” Well, well, Phoon does know how to talk.
“And do you still have anything unresolved?”
“It’s just about him saying he’s liked me for five years. But I’ve only known Phii
Hill for a few years, and then…when we had to part ways.” I paused to think for a moment, “Phii Hill promised he would get in touch again.”
Yes…I remember. After that incident, we had to separate, Phii Hill promised to contact me, promised not to leave me behind, but days, weeks, months passed, and there was no sign of him. Then after another month, I decided to change all my contact details. By then, Phii Hill probably realized it was too late. Now, he’s trying to make amends.
“I want to know…the reason he disappeared.”
I just want to know the reason, that’s all. There might have been a misunderstanding, it’s okay. Just let time prove everything on its own.
“You want to know. Why don’t you just ask?” Foam said, “He’ll tell you anyway, won’t he?”
“Wait a minute. I haven’t had the chance to ask yet.” I retorted to Foam. Oh man, why does Foam seem so irritating today?
Rrrrrrrrr
“Pim is calling again.” Johan raised his phone. Me and Phii Meili turned to look, seeing an unsaved number calling, “What should we do?” Johan turned to ask me. I pointed to myself with a puzzled look, why would someone named Pim call and they’re asking me?
“Yes?”
“Should I answer?”
“Uh…” I looked at Phii Meili as if seeking her opinion. Foam and Phoon still didn’t know the context, and Phii Meili made an ambiguous face, leaving it up to me. The call from someone named Pim must certainly be about Phii Thanmild. I was a bit worried about Phii Thanmild’s threats to harm herself. So, I might as well answer to check on her condition.
“Yes…you can answer.”
Johan answered and put it on speaker for everyone to hear. I listened intently.
“Hello, Jo, is Hill with you?” “He’s not here.”
“Oh, not taking a break yet?”
“He’s already had his break. We’ve started rehearsal again.”
“Did you tell Hill about Mild?”
“I told him.”
“What did Hill say? Is he coming to check on her?”
“Uh…” Phii Johan hesitated slightly, looking at me for guidance. I shook my head slightly, indicating I didn’t know, but Phii Meili whispered to just tell her.
“Hill probably won’t come.”
“Uh…why not?”
“Come on, let me talk to her directly.” Phii Meili seemed to have had enough.
She snatched the phone from Phii Johan and started speaking, “What’s up, Pim?”
“Who’s this?”
“It’s Meili.”
“Meili, oh…what about Jo?”
“I’ll talk to you, Jo doesn’t really want to chat.” Phii Johan looked a bit baffled after Phii Meili told the other side that he didn’t want to talk.
“Why doesn’t he want to talk?”
“Maybe he’s just lazy…doesn’t want to talk to someone he doesn’t know.”
“What do you mean by not knowing? I used to date Jo.”
“Oh, really…Does Dr. Jo know he dated you, Pim?” That comment made Phii Johan’s jaw drop slightly, not expecting Phii Meili to be so blunt.
“…Uh, well, forget it then, why hasn’t Hill come to check on Mild? She hasn’t gotten any better, I called half an hour ago, right? Why is he taking so long? What if something happens to Mild?” After that sentence from the person on the other end of the line, Phii Meili rolled her eyes upwards several times before letting out a soft sigh.
“Then can I ask, why does the doctor need to go check on another doctor?” “Well…aren’t they flirting? Then when that freshman came in, Hill changed completely.”
Huh! Flirting, are they?
“Men change their minds quickly like this, and Jo is no different.” “Why are you bringing me into this?” Phii Johan whispered irritably to Phii Tonfa.
“Calm down, Jo.” Phii Tonfa tried to soothe the agitated one.
“Mild said she understands, but she feels it’s unfair. She’s tried so hard, but then this freshman comes in and doesn’t have to do anything, and Hill only cares about the freshie without caring about Mild at all. I just want Hill to come and check on Mild, that’s all.”
“Hmm, did Mild really say that?” Phii Meili asked with a slightly annoyed tone.
“Yes.”
“Can I talk to Mild for a moment?”
“Um…I don’t know, Mild, can you? Meili wants to talk.”
The voice on the other end asked, and we could still hear Phii Thanmild sobbing softly through the phone, “Mild said she needs some time.”
“Okay, I’m not siding with anyone here, but I want you to calm down and listen first. One, Dr. Hill and Dr. Mild are not flirting or dating. Two, Dr. Hill didn’t change after meeting the freshman kid, he was always like this. Three…the freshman didn’t come after Mild, it’s the other way around.”
“Right, Dr. Hill said five years, right?” Phii Meili turned to whisper to me. I nodded in response. That’s what Phii Hill said.
“That’s not true!” Phii Thanmild’s voice interjected loudly, causing us all to jump slightly since the speaker was on, “Nong Ter met Hill when he was in his sixth year of high school. But I’ve known Hill since my fourth year of high school, Nong Ter came two years after me, that’s why I say it’s not fair. I’ve been trying to get close to Hill for so long. Then suddenly this Ter comes out of nowhere, huff, where did he come from? To take everything so easily, sob, scream!” “Mild, calm down, don’t shout, take a deep breath, calm down, Sweetie, help support her, oh, it’s okay now.”
The scream from the other end of the line made everyone stunned, including me.
Phii Thanmild must have lost control of her emotions.
“No.” I decided to take the phone from Phii Meili’s hand and spoke, part of me was hesitant, but another part felt compelled to speak out.
“Phii Mild, it was me who came first.”
“Uh…what did you say? Hic.”
“…”
“Phii Hill said…”
“…”
“Phii Hill said loves me.”
“…”
“It’s been that way for five years now.”
“Sob, no, it’s not true. It’s not true! You’re lying, you said you never knew Hill before, you’re lying, hic, sob.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Sob, and then Ter left Hill, leaving him to suffer alone! Do you even know that! And now, when things get better, you come back to take Hill away again, that’s too cruel. Sob.”
“Left him?” I echoed Phii Thanmild’s words, puzzled, “Phii Hill was the one who left me.”
“Hmph. You don’t know anything, do you? Hic, and you still have the nerve to say you like Hill!”
“What…what are you talking about?” I tried to recall, wondering if what Phii Thanmild was saying was related to what Phii Hill would tell me, but why did it not feel like it was?
“Stupid! You met Hill’s grandfather, didn’t you? Can’t you even figure that out? How could Hill fall for someone so stupid!!” Phii Thanmild’s voice shifted from sobbing to full-blown anger. However, I wasn’t too concerned with her insult. I was more interested in what she had said.
Phii Hill’s grandfather…
Yes, I met him.
And when we met…it wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.
“But…Phii Hill said it was all sorted out. And his grandfather even sent me an apology gift.” At that time, Phii Hill’s grandfather had misunderstood, thinking I was after Phii Hill for money, but Phii Hill said they had cleared up the misunderstanding. His grandfather even sent a large package of sweets as an apology.
“Ha, you naive kid!!”
And then she hung up, leaving everyone confused. I was even more baffled. What did Phii Hill’s grandfather have to do with all this? He seemed to have apologized, right? Or was there more to it?
Before I could let my thoughts run wild, Phii Meili gently patted my shoulder to bring me back.
“Are you okay, Nong Ter?”
“No, Phii Meili.” my voice began to tremble. My heart was now entirely shaken, feeling as if it was becoming vulnerable, “I don’t understand what Phii Mild told Phii Hill’s grandfather. I mean, he seemed to understand before, didn’t he? Is there something Phii Hill hasn’t told me? And why hasn’t he told me anything? If it’s that big of a deal, why don’t I have the right to know?”
“If it’s about grandfather…you could still talk before, right?”
Because I’ve met Phii Hill’s grandfather since we first got to know each other…if there was an issue, why wasn’t I told before we had problems? I started to think in circles, with Phii Thanmild’s words, our story, everything was starting to blend together. I was confused to the point where I couldn’t grasp anything.
“Ter.” Phii Meili said with a gentle tone to comfort me, “I don’t know what happened…but what could be the reason for a man to bear all the pain alone?”
“If it’s not…”
“…”
“To protect…the one he loves the most.”
And with those words from Phii Meili, a phrase that Hill once told me resurfaced in my mind.
“I’ll try my best.”
“Huh…try what?”
“Well, with the problems that will arise from now on.”
If that’s the same problem…are you planning to fight this battle alone again? “That’s…not fair to you, isn’t it?” I whispered to myself, trying to suppress some overwhelming emotions.
Right now…I really hate myself.
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