WHYARU, Chapter 12:
“Your face looks so sleepy, Tor,” the house’s owner said, nudging him to walk inside. He glanced at Tutor again. “Did you stay up late last night or what?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Did you keep studying after I left?”
“Yeah.”
“Until ten?”
“Three in the morning.”
“Are you crazy? That’s way too much.”
“What can I do, Phii? I’m not good at this subject,” Tutor said with a big yawn. He’d almost canceled or postponed his meetup with Phii Fai, but the thought that skipping this might lead to even more teasing from the guy made him scrap that idea.
Fighter looked at the guy who couldn’t stop yawning. Tutor’s face screamed he could fall asleep any second.
“That sleepy, huh?”
“Beyond sleepy. If there was a bed right now, I’d collapse onto it, no joke.”
“Then come here,” Fighter said, grabbing the younger guy’s hand to follow him.
“Where to?”
“My room.”
“For what?”
“You said you wanted to sleep.”
“What about the snacks? Aren’t they making them now? I’m worried if I sleep, I’ll miss it.”
“Not yet. Probably a while before they start. If they do, I’ll wake you up.” “…”
“Okay?”
“Mm, fine,” Tutor nodded to the house’s owner and followed Fighter’s pull without resistance. Maybe it was the sleepiness, making him go along with everything despite not usually being this compliant.
As he followed Fighter, his eyes quietly scanned the house. He had to admit, Phii Fai’s place was big and elegantly decorated. But despite its grandeur, there was a lingering sense of loneliness. He wasn’t sure if it came from the house itself or from the person holding his hand.
“Go to sleep.” The room’s owner nudged Tutor’s shoulder, urging him toward the bed. The smaller guy nodded hesitantly before trudging slowly to the king-sized bed. He slipped under the thick blanket, feeling a sense of contentment.
He never imagined an expensive bed would feel this good—so different from the cheap one in his dorm.
I want one like this someday.
“You look way too happy. You like the bed or what?”
“Mm, it’s insanely comfy,” Tutor mumbled, his voice groggy as his eyelids drooped, nearly closing. Fighter shifted to sit against the headboard next to his guest. “Phii Fai, your house is huge.”
“It’s not my house.”
“…”
“It’s my dad’s house.”
“Your dad’s house is huge… but it feels kinda lonely.”
“…”
“Are you lonely, Phii Fai?” Tutor’s murmured words sounded almost like sleep-talk, as if he were speaking to himself rather than Fighter. His half-closed eyes slowly shut, his steady breathing signaling he’d fallen asleep.
Fighter glanced at the sleeping figure for a moment before picking up his phone to scroll aimlessly. Tutor’s question still echoed in his mind. Maybe because it had been so long since Fighter had asked himself something like that—probably since he’d grown up and started understanding the ways of the world.
Being asked again now left him feeling oddly unsettled.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Khun Fai, sir?” A voice from outside interrupted his thoughts. He got up to open the door for the housekeeper.
“Yes?”
“The chef has arrived and is preparing ingredients.”
“Well…” Fighter hesitated, unsure whether to wake the person who’d just fallen asleep less than five minutes ago. “Tell the chef to wait about ten minutes, okay? I’ll come down soon.”
“Alright,” the housekeeper agreed. Fighter returned to the bed, looking again at the sleeping figure.
“Tor…”
“…”
“Hey, Tor,” Fighter called again. The only response was Tutor pulling the blanket over his face, leaving just his eyes visible. “They’re starting to make dessert. You wanna go watch?”
“…”
“Did you hear that?”
“No.”
“If you didn’t hear, who the hell answered me?”
“…”
“You little punk, so are you going downstairs to watch them make desserts or not?”
“Can I not go, Phii Fai? I’m sleepy,” the kid said lazily, looking up at Fighter with pleading eyes, as if already knowing the answer was that he didn’t want to go.
“Fine, then sleep.”
“Mm.”
“Good night,” a large hand reached up to ruffle his hair, as if soothing a younger sibling. Tutor tilted his head and snuggled into his chest, making Fighter involuntarily swallow hard. This kind of thing had never happened before. The kid had never been this clingy with him. It was the first time he felt so flustered he didn’t know what to do.
In the end, he chose to get up and let the kid sleep as he wanted. Meanwhile, he went downstairs to pick out desserts for tomorrow’s event.
Normally, at his father’s company, Fighter didn’t get many chances to help out much since his father didn’t assign him regular responsibilities. He only did tasks when specifically told to, like choosing desserts or meeting clients. This time, his father had asked if he wanted to handle the dessert selection. At first, he thought about declining, but then he remembered what Tutor had said about making desserts for his older sister. The little guy had looked so proud and happy that the image stuck with him. So, he decided to take on the task, hoping to let the kid pick up some knowledge about it.
But as you can see, it was a complete flop. The person he wanted to come watch the process was sleepy and passed out in his room.
“I’ll head out then, Khun Fai.”
“Alright, Chef. I’ll have my dad’s secretary send the dessert list by 7 p.m. today.” The chef nodded, exchanged a few more words with Fighter, and then left the kitchen. Fighter looked at the desserts in front of him, unsure which ones to pick for tomorrow’s event.
“Phii Fai.” It seemed like heaven had sent someone to help Fighter choose the desserts.
“Awake now?”
“Yeah.” Tutor nodded and walked into the kitchen, carefully inspecting the desserts in front of him. “The chef’s gone already?”
“Yep.”
“Such a pity.”
“I tried waking you up.”
“I know, but I still feel reluctant,” Tutor said, turning to look at the snacks in front of him. He observed each piece carefully, even leaning in close to examine their intricacy and arrangement.
“Try one.”
“Can I?”
“Yeah, try it, and make a list for me of which ones are tasty and worth bringing to tomorrow’s event.”
“Alright, I’ll try this one first.” The speaker picked up a fruittopped snack, inspected it, then took a bite. The first sensation was how delicious it was. Whether it was hunger or the snack’s quality, it was clear this piece wasn’t cheap. “Tasty.”
“Try the others too,” Tutor nodded, then sampled a few more himself, until he found one he particularly liked.
“This one’s really good, Phii Fai, try it,” Tutor said, holding the snack he’d just bitten toward Fighter’s mouth, urging him to take a bite. “Quick, Phii Fai.”
Tutor pressed Fighter to eat the snack in his hand. In the end, Fighter had no choice but to lean forward and take a bite of the snack Tutor offered.
It was at that moment that a heartbeat thumped loudly again— maybe when Fighter’s lips brushed the tip of Tutor’s fingers, or perhaps when their eyes met.
Tutor didn’t know how to explain it. He’d been feeling something unusual for a while now.
He sensed something was there, but he kept pretending to ignore it, acting as if he didn’t see it.
Even though it was so clear it made his heart race every time.
“Fai?” A voice called, snapping both of them back to reality as they turned to look.
What Tutor saw was a middle-aged man in work attire staring directly at him. The look wasn’t one of displeasure or annoyance, more like curiosity about who Tutor was.
“Hey, Dad,” Fighter said, addressing the owner of that gaze. “Have you been here long?”
“Just got here. And that’s…?”
“Hello,” Tutor didn’t wait for Fighter to introduce him. He raised his hands in a wai and gave a broad smile. “I’m Tutor.”
“Tutor?”
“Yes, that’s my name, but I also tutor English for Phii Fai.”
“Oh,” Phii Fai’s father nodded, then shifted his gaze to his son. “So, Fai, have you picked out the snacks yet?”
“Not yet, but I’ll be done soon. I’ll send the list to your secretary by this evening.”
“Okay, and make sure you’re ready to attend the event with me tomorrow.”
“…” Fighter didn’t respond.
His father didn’t press the issue or say much. He just looked at the two of them quietly before leaving the room. Tutor wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but the look in Phii Fai’s father’s eyes made him feel uneasy. It wasn’t a look of dislike, but it wasn’t exactly one of affection either.
“Once we’re done picking out snacks, you can head back, alright?”
“Sure.”
“And let’s grab some food at the stall near your dorm.”
“Isn’t you eating with his dad?”
“Nah… I usually don’t anyway.” Tutor nodded in understanding. He didn’t ask further questions, just listed the snacks he liked for Fighter. Then the two of them left the house with the microwave they’d talked about from the start.
Fighter and Tutor stopped to eat some red pork rice at a stall near the alley before heading back to the dorm. At first, the car’s owner seemed like he was going to get out too, but Tutor stopped him.
“You sure you’re good, Tor?”
“I’m fine. It’s just a microwave box. No need for both of us to carry it.”
“Alright, I know you’re super strong.”
“Obviously. I’ll head off then.” Tutor finished speaking and turned to open his side of the car door. But it seemed like something crossed his mind, so he turned back to Fai—Tor— again. “I’m studying a lot these days because of a quiz.”
“I know.”
“If you know, then don’t come bug me for a while. Once I’m done with the quiz, I’ll call you, okay?”
“Okay.” Tutor smiled when he saw the usually stubborn Phii Fai agree so easily. He didn’t even realize he’d reached out to gently pat the older guy’s head.
“So cute.”
“…”
“…” He hadn’t thought about whether patting his senior’s head was appropriate or not, but when he saw the look Phii Fai gave him, the hand that was rubbing froze and stopped almost instantly.
Yeah… Phii Fai’s look wasn’t one of annoyance, but it was a look Tutor couldn’t quite explain.
“Well… I’m off then, Phii. See you later.” With that, Tutor quickly opened the car door and got out.
In his mind, he kept thinking how lucky it was that he caught himself in time. Otherwise, he might’ve been stuck in that awkward atmosphere for who knows how long.
“Day, calm down and check the group chat again. We highlighted the parts we think the professor might test on. Not sure if they’ll show up, but it’s better to read them first.” (But I’m scared I won’t finish studying in time, Tor.)
“Well, if you keep calling to complain like this, how are you going to have time to study?”
(Well, I’m beat. Can you come tutor me early before the exam?)
“Sure.”
(Love you to the maxxxx!)
“Ugh, go study already.” Tutor hung up the phone and let out a tired sigh. All day, whether it was Saifah, Day, or faculty friends, they kept calling him about the hydro exam. It’s not like he was an expert in this subject; the info he shared on LINE was just what he thought the professor might test.
Creak
The door to Tutor’s room swung open, accompanied by an annoying grin from someone who’d promised not to bother him during study time.
“Phii Fai.” Besides the irritated glare, Tutor’s tone was dripping with frustration as he called out Fighter’s name. “Didn’t we agree you wouldn’t come?”
“Who said that?”
“Yourself!”
“Oh, really? Why don’t I remember that?” Fighter shrugged mischievously, dodging the topic and holding up a cake instead.
“Want some?”
“If I eat it, will you leave right after?”
“Nah, I’m here to help you study hydro today.”
“But I can study on my own, you know.”
“You can study, sure, but isn’t it better to have someone who’s passed this subject tutor you? I can even guess what the professor’s gonna put on the exam.” “…” Tutor stayed silent.
“Come on, trust me.”
“You’re such a…”
“What?”
“Stubborn jerk.”
“Haha, yeah, stubbornness my thing. So, you eating this cake now or later?”
“I’m not hungry yet. You can put it in the fridge.” Tutor’s voice softened considerably from earlier.
“Cool.”
“And don’t bug me while I’m studying, got it?”
“I know, I know. But I was serious about tutoring you on hydro, want me to do it for free?”
“No need, Phii. If I don’t get something, I’ll just ask you.”
“Alright,” Fighter replied to the room’s owner before putting the cake in the fridge. “If you’re hungry, just let me know.” “Mm,” the kid mumbled under his breath, then turned back to his book. After storing the cake, Fighter plopped down on the bed, lounging and occasionally glancing at the stressed-out figure. True to his word, he didn’t bother Tutor—no chatting, no questions, no nonsense. He just sat there, lay there, until he eventually dozed off.
“Ugh, why is this so hard?” Fighter jolted awake after nearly three or four hours when he heard the room’s owner grumbling.
“You’re stressing too much.” Still groggy, he scooted closer to the kid leaning against the bed.
“Oh, did I wake you up with my noise? Sorry, Phii, go back to sleep.”
“Can’t sleep now,” Fighter said honestly. Tutor just nodded, slumping his head onto the bed. The study sheet in his hand was now pressed against his face, lightly tapped as if hoping the hydro formulas would osmosis into his brain. Seeing this, Fighter couldn’t help but chuckle. He got up, grabbed the cake from the fridge, and sat back down next to the stressed-out kid.
“Take a ten-minute break from stressing, yeah? Chill for a bit.”
“Can’t, Phii Fai,” Tutor said, his face still covered by the sheet.
“Why not? Hydro’s not that bad. If you get the gist or memorize the formulas you need, it’s actually pretty easy, trust me.”
“Easy, my ass,” Tutor yanked the sheet off his face and turned to look at the guy beside him. “It’s not easy at all, Phii Fai. I can’t remember the formulas, some I don’t even understand, and I’m still confused reading the problems.”
“…”
“Whatever, no point talking about it. You’re not me, so you wouldn’t get it anyway.”
“I get it. I’ve been there.”
“Says the guy who flunked engineering twice?”
“Hold up, that’s not fair. Just because I dropped out of engineering twice doesn’t mean I flunked hydro.”
“…”
“Come on, take a break. Eat some cake.” Fighter slid the cake on the low table toward Tutor. The smaller guy looked at the one offering cake as comfort and couldn’t help but smile. “What’s with the grin?”
“Nothing… I just didn’t think Phii Fai had this side to him.”
“What side?”
“It’s the side of you that’s not power-hungry or the side that doesn’t make this sulky face,” Tutor said, turning to speak before mimicking the sulky expression he meant and directing it at Fighter.
“I don’t make that face you’re talking about.”
“You do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You really do, like this,” Tutor said, raising one hand and curling his fingers while pulling a pouty face again for Fighter to see, making Fighter shake his head in exasperation.
“Just eat already.”
“Want some, Phii?” Tutor scooped up a piece of cake.
“Nah, you eat it.”
“Okay,” Tutor replied softly, then put the cake in his mouth instead. Neither spoke further. Tutor quietly ate his cake and read his book, while Fighter, after the younger one finished, took the plate away and sat down to play a game nearby.
Fighter didn’t disturb him. He just sat there, watching someone who sometimes looked serious, sometimes confused, or sometimes smiled because they solved a problem correctly, clearly enjoying it.
7:15 PM.
Some time passed, but Tutor was still reading. Meanwhile, Fighter was watching a series without feeling bored.
“Phii Fai,” the one reading suddenly called out to the person sitting beside him.
“Hm?” Fighter took off his headphones and looked up at the caller.
“When are you heading back?”
“Trying to kick me out?”
“Yup.”
“Then I’m not going.”
“You’re such a pain, hurry up and go already,” Fighter shrugged instead of answering. He propped his chin on the Japanese table and turned to look at Tutor as if he had a question, until the younger one noticed. “What now?”
“When are you going to stop reading?”
“In a bit.”
“But it’s already past seven. Aren’t you hungry?”
“Not really.”
“But I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since noon.”
“You didn’t eat when I offered you cake.”
“I just want you to eat first.”
“…”
“Why’d you go quiet?” Suddenly, the younger guy fell silent. Fighter wasn’t sure what he was thinking, as he seemed to freeze for a moment after that last sentence.
“Nothing. Just thinking if you’re hungry, you should go eat first. I need to review this part a bit more,” Tutor replied to the guy beside him without looking up.
“You’re stressing too much, Tor.”
“I can’t not stress, Phii. I’m not good at hydro. I have to try harder than others.”
“I’m not saying don’t try, but did you forget it’s just a quiz? The points for this are tiny. Most of your grade comes from the midterm, final, and project. Even if you ace this, it doesn’t guarantee an A.”
“But it’s still points, Phii Fai. Please, don’t mess with me right now.” Fighter looked at the speaker and raised an eyebrow slightly. Tutor was stubborn—no amount of pulling, even by an elephant, would make him budge if he didn’t want to.
“You’re really sticking to this, huh?”
“Yup.”
“Fine.” A sly smirk crept onto Fighter’s lips as he reached out and snatched the study sheet from Tutor’s desk.
“Phii Fai!!!” Besides the annoyed shout, Tutor’s face showed clear frustration. “Give me back my sheet!”
Tutor held out his hand, demanding the sheet from the guy in front of him, who clearly had no intention of giving it back easily.
“Hurry up, Phii Fai!” Not only did he not return it, but he hid the sheet behind his back. “Phii Fai!”
In the end, all Tutor could do was reach to grab the sheet back from the teasing jerk. But that was it—Fighter not only refused to give it up but dodged his attempts to snatch it back.
“Phii Fai!! Give it back!”
Instead of responding, Fighter raised a taunting eyebrow. In the end, Tutor poured all his energy into trying to reclaim the sheet. Of course, the bigger guy, Fighter, barely needed any effort to dodge the hands desperately reaching for it. It was Tutor who was practically climbing onto Fighter’s lap by now.
In the heat of their tug-of-war, they forgot something.
They forgot how close their bodies had become.
By the time Tutor realized, he’d already lost his balance and fallen onto Fighter.
“Huh??”
It was like time was about to stop again. Maybe it did stop because of the sharp gaze fixed on him. But those piercing eyes were nothing compared to the sensation of their breaths so close together.
“Forget it,” Tutor said with a shaky voice, trying to pull away from Fighter. “I don’t need to study that sheet anymore.”
Once he managed to break free, he turned to grab another sheet from his desk.
Silence settled in, accompanied by Tutor’s hand covering his face to avoid looking at the person beside him. It wasn’t that he didn’t notice the gaze fixed on him, but those eyes made him feel uneasy.
“Tor.”
“Hm?”
“I’ll give it back.” Fighter reluctantly handed the sheet back to its owner. Though Tutor hesitated at first, he eventually turned to take it from Fighter’s hand.
“Phii Fai,” he called out, noticing that the person who promised to return the study sheet wasn’t letting go. “Let go of the sheet.”
“…” Instead of responding, Phii Fai pulled the sheet toward himself.
“Phii Fai… mmph.” Before he could react, Fighter’s lips pressed against his, the hand that had been holding the sheet now cradling his face.
For a moment, Tutor thought he should push Fighter away, but another part of him didn’t want to. Maybe because this kiss was different from the first one at the bar. It wasn’t fueled by the older guy’s anger. This kiss stirred a hollow flutter in his stomach, gentle yet possessive, making him feel good all at once.
As Fighter tilted his head for a better angle, pressing his lips more insistently, Tutor’s heart trembled harder. He could even feel his lower lip being drawn in, melded to Fighter’s. Their heads pressed close, the hand cradling his face, their staggered breaths blending into one.
Both of them sensed something was off, yet neither spoke it aloud.
The tender kiss continued, Tutor’s hand now clutching Fighter’s shirt, as if anchoring his swirling emotions.
Questions flooded his mind, each one tied to “why,” accompanied by a gnawing guilt toward someone else.
What he felt wasn’t right at all.
Not even a little.
“Phii Fai,” Tutor called out to the person in front of him, his grip on the older guy’s shirt tugging lightly, as if pleading for a pause. His eyes, half-pleading, half-confused, belonged to the smaller figure.
Fighter kissed his lips once more before pulling back. He gazed at the younger one with equally conflicted eyes.
Fighter knew this shouldn’t have happened. The kiss at the bar might’ve been driven by anger or frustration, but this—this was different.
But now, things are different.
So different that he doesn’t understand why he’s acting this way.
At first, he was convinced he had a thing for Zon. But as they got closer, he thought it might just be the fondness of an older brother for a younger one, the feeling of an only child finally having a little brother like Tutor.
But now, Fighter isn’t so sure if that’s what he’s feeling anymore.
“Why did you kiss me?” Tutor’s eyes demanded an answer, unlike the one being questioned, who had no idea if his response would even be the right one.
He was afraid that if he spoke while still so uncertain, it might end up hurting someone.
Either himself… or the person standing in front of him.
The one waiting for his answer right now.
But he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how to respond. Maybe denying the confusion he’s feeling is the best way out… for both of them.