MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 9: What’s wrong?
[Duenhaw]
“Daonuea, what’s wrong with your brother Duen, why is he like this when you come home?”
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“Will he be okay?”
“Mommy, I’ll go do my homework first.”
“Okay. If you can’t do it, come to Mom for help.”
“Okay.” The voices from outside didn’t stop my hiccupping sobs. I’m heartbroken, deeply hurt in my heart! It’s painful, torturous, almost deadly! What’s the matter, you ask? It’s this!
“Hic…that damn kid, named…that foreign bird-brain. No, you’re not even a true foreigner!!…hic…you’re just a half-and-half!”
It’s because that little Ben kissed my beloved little sister! I raised Dao to be an innocent girl! Her first kiss should have been with her future husband, shouldn’t it?
And look at what he’s done, how could he do this to me?
“From now on, hic…I’ll pick up Star every day, I won’t let my sister be around a flirty brat like you for even three seconds, damn it!!!” Knock, knock, knock!
“Duen, are you okay, son?”
“It’s nothing, Mom.”
“What’s wrong? Open the door and talk to Mom.” I decided to open the door for her. She was quite shocked to see my tears.
“Huh…”
“What’s wrong, Duenhaw? Who made my handsome Dr. Duen cry, huh?”
“From now on…hic…Mom, you can’t use foreign products.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“I don’t like it!”
“Okay, okay, I won’t use them, but Duenhaw, you have to stop crying first.
Otherwise, I will call to order the latest design of a foreign brand bag from Khun
Chamoi Haow Noi right now.”
“…”
“You’re quiet now, right? Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“That foreign kid…”
“Who?”
“Ben Jangkapradit, the new kid in Daonuea’s class! He kissed Daonuea, right on the lips, Mom! The sound of it is still echoing in my head like it just happened, kiss, kiss…kiss, huh…hic.”
“Oh my…I thought it was something serious, sigh.”
“Huh…Mom, you’re mad at that foreign kid like me, right?”
“Not really.”
“No! That was Daonuea’s first kiss, Mom!”
“Duen of mine, listen to Mom, Daonuea can think for herself now. If she doesn’t like it, she would say so, but she didn’t even protest. It’s just us making a fuss until I got worried. I thought it was something serious. I’m going back to watch my drama now, Phii Tik is waiting for me.” With that, Mom actually walked out of my room.
What? This is a big deal! Why isn’t anyone shocked, neither Mom nor Daonuea? Daonuea’s first kiss should be preserved as a national treasure or something! And how could he kiss my sister? His words are still replaying in my mind like a broken record.
‘Your name’s Honey and you’re my baby’
Beat your dad! You’re speaking like a parrot. When I was your age, I could count one, two, three too. I don’t want to brag, but spit, acting all cool. Run away with a ghost, and I’ll give you a ring with my heel, damn!!! I’m so annoyed…should I curse him with some spicy chili and salt?
Rrrr
“Who’s calling at this hour!” Oh, it’s Phu, why call so late? It’s already ten o’clock, I’m usually in bed by now.
“What do you want?”
(My dear…what do you mean, have you forgotten our appointment?)
“Huh, what appointment?”
(Come on. The one for drinking with the ladies.) Right, I was the one who invited them, but I forgot…because of you, you little foreign devil! I’m not blaming you! Just connecting the dots according to principles.
“Sorry, I’ll be there soon.” I said to my friend on the phone as I hurried to my wardrobe to find my usual outfit.
(Come quickly. We’re already at the bar. The table is next to the counter.)
“Yeah…”
(Are you okay? You sound like you’ve been crying.) Yeah, I just stopped crying a moment ago.
“Huh. I’m fine, I’m okay, see you soon.”
(Yeah, come quick, it seems like it’s someone’s birthday today, there’s a ton of food, hehe.)
Click
“Mom, I am going out.” Normally, saying this would shock my mom, but not today because Dad had already told her. Wait, I feel like I’ve forgotten something, oh, I forgot the money Dad said he’d leave behind the fridge. It shouldn’t be that much…I guess.
Gulp!
I almost choked on my own saliva.
“Seven thousand?!” Did Dad give me too much?! It’s just to drink with friends, is alcohol that expensive? I need to call him about this.
(Dad, what-)
“Did you give me too much money?! Or did the bills stick together? One bill should have been enough, right?”
(Oh. You moron, women don’t like weak men. They like strong ones, huh.)
“Huh? And how is that related, Dad?”
(You naive one. You’ve never really drunk, so to turn a young chick like you into a wise old bird like me, do you know what you need to do, my dear
Duenhaw?)
“Uh…I don’t know.”
(You’ll have to drink until your head is spinning, hahaha.)
“…”
(When you’re so drunk you don’t know what to be drunk about, your body starts to get used to alcohol. Then, your body will develop an alcohol resistance called ‘Drunkard.’ So, drink a lot, throw away the glass, and use a bucket instead; that’s even better.) What kind of theory is this? I’ve never heard of it!
“Dad! At this rate, my liver will get cirrhosis.”
(Wow, so afraid. Right now, I’m drinking with the security guard at the office.
Uncle Som, fill it up for me, please/Sure, Marshal.)
“Enough, Dad. But this money is really too much.” I looked at the stack of thousand-baht notes in my hand again, my brows furrowing into a bow. Normally, I don’t spend much. My bank savings are not trivial, showing I’m thrifty, er, I know how to manage money. But when Dad gives me so much like it’s nothing, it kind of irritates me a bit.
(Crazy, I’m still thinking if I gave you too little.) Too little?! Is Dad that rich? Yeah, he’s rich, but usually, parents would say something like, ‘Save some money, son,’ or ‘Learn to spend wisely,’ like that!
“It’s not little, Dad! It’s too much! Dad is making me not understand the value of money!”
(If you don’t know, so be it, I’m rich enough to support you until you’re old.
Don’t know, don’t care. You have to spend it all. That’s it.)
Click
“Dad, hey!” Damn, in the end, I have to use up all the money Dad gave me. How should I spend it?
“Duenhaw?” Mom called me with a tone that sounded like she was surprised by something.
“Yes, Mom.”
“Son, where did you say you were going?”
“To a pub.”
“In this outfit?!”
“Uh…what’s wrong with it? Isn’t it okay?” I thought this was pretty normal…a tshirt that came free with powdered milk, (it was a promotion where you buy two, get a shirt free), black and green striped cat-patterned JJ pants, finished off with elephant-star flip-flops.
What’s wrong with it? Where’s it not good?
“Ugliest outfit ever!!! Follow me!” And then Mom dragged me back to the bedroom. Ugh, why scold Phii Duen like this…
My mom used to be a model, quite famous before she met Dad. She was swamped with fashion shows and photo shoots, barely had time to breathe. I don’t know what Dad did to win her over, but back to the present. Where was I? Oh, so because of that, my mom is very particular about how her kids and husband dress. My little sister Dao has hundreds of outfits in her wardrobe, changing with the seasons like a little model for my mom.
But I usually don’t go out, so I just wear what I have on now at home. I don’t know how to dress for going out.
“Duenhaw, you should pay more attention to fashion, I’ve bought you clothes to keep in your wardrobe, why don’t you ever pick them to wear!” That’s true, my mom has bought clothes for me every Duen, depending on what’s in style at the time.
“But I don’t like it, it doesn’t feel like me.”
“My son is so handsome, with a good physique. If you dressed up a bit more, I’d have no trouble finding a daughter-in-law.”
“But-”
“Wear this shirt, these pants, and these shoes, oh, and this watch too, go on, go get changed in your room.”
Mom doesn’t listen to Duen at all.
“Mom, I think this looks weird…” I twirled in front of the mirror for the three hundred ninth time, it doesn’t look like me, it’s…weird.
“Come on, oh my! My son looks so handsome!”
“Handsome? I think it’s…”
“It’s already twenty past ten, Duenhaw, go, you can go now.” My mom looked at her watch before pushing me out of the house. I caught a glimpse of Daonuea waving goodbye…seeing her reminds me of what happened this evening…hic…that damn kid!
Thinking about it makes me want to cry. Should I tell Dad about this, have that kid taken care of? I’m sure Dad would use a fighter jet to take him out. When Star was younger, there was a bald kid who bullied her until she got hurt. Dad flew from the main base just to discipline that kid…my mom scolded him big time.
“How dare he kiss my sister! Hmph.” I, Bohn, said while sitting on my beloved vehicle, Supachai. Tonight, Dad’s taking his son out for some nightlife…what? You don’t want to go? Oh, I don’t want to go either, but Dad ordered it. We must obey, son, sigh.
I rode my motorbike through the streets. Bangkok in the morning seems chaotic, but at night, it’s incredibly beautiful. Ah…that’s the legendary drink, I want to drink it. Unable to resist the craving, I decided to park my bike on the sidewalk next to a street vendor’s cart.
“Phii, give me one dozen.”
“Okay, one dozen.” She repeated the order before handing me a bag with thirteen bottles in it. Wow, they even gave me an extra one. It must be because of Phii Duen’s good looks…Damn, I have to hurry, by now Ram and the others must be ready to chew me out.
‘Wife’s house’
Fuck, I’ve only ever driven by here, but this time I’m walking in myself. It feels strange…Will they let me bring outside drinks into the pub? They probably will since I saw someone before me carrying some bottles inside. I parked my bike at the pub’s parking lot without realizing that all my actions were under the scrutiny of many eyes.
I walked up to the entrance. The bouncer gave me a quick once-over before waving me through. Why was that so easy? I thought they’d check my ID or something. Or do I look old? Come to think of it…he was looking at me oddly, wasn’t he? Whatever, better deal with the drinks in my hand.
Fizz
“Ah, refreshing.” What did Phu say again? Oh, he said the table was near the counter, counter, counter…There it is, I found it. That’s Ting’s laughter. I remember it.
Bang
“Oops, sorry.”
“Uh, it’s okay, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I apologized to the beautiful girl in front of me, probably because I was lost in thought and didn’t watch my step.
“No, it’s my fault, sorry.”
“Oh, sorry. I have a friend waiting, excuse me.” I gave a dry smile and stepped back to put some distance between us, feeling that she was getting too close. But instead of backing off, she moved even closer until her chest touched mine.
Huh, oh…is this what they call flirting?
Okay, okay. I might be a bit naive, but not so naive that I don’t know what she’s doing. I’ve seen this in the dramas my mom likes to watch. Mom says if a woman acts like this, you can conclude she’s the villain, don’t bring her home because she won’t be accepted as a daughter-in-law.
“Let’s chat first, handsome.” The beautiful girl said in a seductive tone, deliberately wrapping her slender arms around my neck. Jesus, she’s really flirting with me. What should I do…Dad said if possible, take the woman to a hotel, but Mom said if a woman does this, step away and don’t get involved. For heaven’s sake, who should I listen to? While I was thinking hard, a sudden memory of Dad’s words came to mind: ‘My wife is always right.’
Hmm…
Method
Dad’s Wife = Mother
Dad’s Wife = Whatever the dad’s wife says is always right = Whatever mom says is always right.
Hmm…
“Sorry…you understand, right?” I gently removed her hand and walked straight to the table, leaving my conversation partner stunned, seemingly speechless. Will she understand what I meant?
“That was cold, Duen, and she was pretty too.” As soon as I reached the table, Phu teased me right away. Others might have wanted to tease as well, but their mouths were busy drinking.
“But it looks like you’re not playing along. That girl looked shocked. What did you say?” Ting asked, sitting cross-legged, looking sexy in her tight black dress and high heels, which I guess cost as much as her beloved, precious camera lens.
“What from earlier?”
“Yeah. Did you insult her? She looked annoyed.”
“I didn’t say anything.” I shrugged, reaching for another bottle of the legendary drink.
“Then what did you say?”
“I just told her, ‘My mom doesn’t allow me to get involved with women like you,’ that’s all.”
“…”
“Duen…you have black pattern, don’t you?”
“Hmm? What’s the pattern on my shirt? No, no, today I’m wearing a plain leather jacket.” I tilted my head, puzzled. Pattern? LINE? Right? What…
“Sometimes you’re too naive.”
“Yeah.”
“I agree…” What’s with you guys, I’m not talking anymore, I’ll just eat what I have in my hand.
Slump
Sizzle
“Ah, refreshing.” I said with a smile, placing the bag on the table, with my friends’ eyes fixed on it with interest. It’s dark here, they probably can’t see what it is.
“What is this?”
“This?” I let go of the straw in my mouth, pointing at the legendary drink bag I just bought. Everyone, including Ram, nodded in unison.
“It’s medicine…or something.” I answered before going back to sipping the liquid from the bottle. Hmmm, it’s delicious.
“Huh!!!!”
“Damn! Why are you guys so loud?”
“Say that again, I must have misheard, the pub is too noisy, haha…” Your voice sounds so forced, Tang.
“Yeah, me too.” Phu added, while picking ear wax with his pinky and blowing it at Ting. Are you challenging the dark powers of Pornnapa, Phu?
3
2
1
Thud!
“Ouch, Ting, that hurt, man.”
“You deserve it! Who told you to blow your filthy, disgusting ear wax at my beautiful face! Ew, so gross!” I really want you to hear how Tang says ‘filthy’ and ‘disgusting’, it’s so clear, clearer than Woody’s speech.
“Whatever. It’s just this, brush it off.”
“But the bacteria from your earwax, it! still! sticks!”
“…”
“…Enough, I want to talk to Duen.” Ram intervened between the two friends.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“What is it, slowly and clearly?”
Why do they look like that? It’s not just curiosity, there’s something more, but I don’t know what it is either. Whatever. If they want to know, I’ll tell them.
“Yakult.”
“…” Why are they silent? Did I do something wrong, or is there someone behind me? But when I turn around, there’s no one there, so what are they looking at, why do they look so stunned?
“Duen! Did you walk into the pub with a bottle of Yakult?!!!”
“Yeah, so what?” What’s the big deal? The person before me walked in with a bottle of something, and mine is just a small one, why can’t I bring it in?
“Didn’t the bouncer stop you?” Ram said, rubbing his temples. What are you stressed about, Ram? Just because I walked in with Yakult?
“No, he just looked.”
“Sigh!”
What’s wrong with bringing Yakult into a pub?
