MYENGINEER, CHAPTER 58: Because…

[Duenhaw]

“So, you’ll really sleep next to me?” I turned to ask the person beside me. He had already lain down and covered himself with a blanket. Did you even ask for my opinion? The others really are considerate, moving to give us space at the edge without even being asked.

Thank you…I am very touched.

“Yeah.” Bohn nodded frantically, lifting his phone to press something, definitely not surfing on the internet or checking Facebook since there’s no signal here, whatever.

“Sigh, whatever you want.” I lay down, the bed was a military one, borrowed by the forestry department guys, but some people brought their own blankets and mattresses. As for me, I’m on the “whatever” team because I’m too lazy.

“Apemong Kero Kero, Momo Pimple.”

“What language is that, Boss?” That must be Phii Tang’s voice, and laughter erupted in the tent. I laughed too, the word genius, smarter than Phii Boss, there isn’t anyone. Who could invent words every ten seconds? No one!

“It means, ‘Good night, friends.’“

“You liar, ha ha ha.”

“You.”

“And what do you say for ‘Good night, husband’?” I sat up to look. Not for any reason, just that an ant was biting my heel, itchy as hell, I had to scratch, huh…it’s big, what do they eat here? Why are these ants evolving so fast, are they Pakistani ants?

“Good night, husband…there’s no such thing.”

“Hey, if you do this, Merk will be upset.”

“No sweet dreams for the husband, just this…mumble mumble.”

“What?”

“May I have your number, kind sir?” After saying that, he flopped down to lie on his side, winking at Phii Merk who was watching. The one who was teased smiled and flicked his forehead lightly in jest.

“Urrghhhhhh.”

“Do whatever you want. We’ll watch from a distance, worrying a bit…damn, Tiger, set up the camera!!” As soon as James finished speaking, Tiger rolled from the corner like a tank, jumping up to sit in a prayer-like pose before setting up a large camera at the feet of Merk and Boss. Oh my God…that’s a Cinema EOS, the latest model, right?

“I’ve prepared for this well, my friend, and I have another one specifically for Bohn and Duen. They’re definitely going to do something, trust Tiger, I can sense it.” Tiger with his sixth sense…oh, come on, man.

“Don’t…” The person next to me sat up to speak, yeah, that’s how it should be, act like my boyfriend for once, tell them, ‘Don’t do this, I don’t like it!!’ Make it clear!

“Don’t set up the camera?”

“Don’t forget to send me the files, I want to use them to improve myself.” The speaker gave me a sly look, thinking what I would do if it wasn’t just blushing, oh, come on…I’m tired of you!

“Urrghhhhhh.”

“Time to sleep, students…”

“We’re asleep, sir, that was just sleep-talking.” Seeing that the teacher had entered the tent, everyone immediately lay down without any prior agreement. Those standing fell to the ground as if fainting, and those sitting slammed their heads against the pillows with force. I could hear the sound of wings…whoever hit their head on the ground, tell me, I will give first aid.

“Hmm, the teacher can believe that if he wants to. Don’t make too much noise, we’re in the forest, I’m leaving now.” I remember him. He’s the one who teased me back then, remember the day I went to study with Bohn?

This is the teacher who teased me, I think her name was Professor Pakorn. After she left, no one got up again.

“You guys, I’m turning off the lights.”

“Go ahead, friend, I’m sleepy.”

We need to conserve our energy because tomorrow we have to play games at the stations with the forestry department folks. They’re really nice, teaching me a lot, like how to weave leaves into different shapes. I heard we’re also doing coconut leaf weaving tomorrow. Me and Ting are really looking forward to it, but…I guess we’ll get teased just like today.

“Wow, Duen, how do you like that? I might not be as good with men as you, but in this…I! Win!! Ha, what do you think? Check out my work, see how beautiful it is. I should win an award for excellent craftsmanship. Ah…we’re really good, huh? Have you seen my cricket’s tail? Look, it’s even waving in the wind. I don’t care about men anymore. I’ll sit and sell crickets, my brand is, ‘Tingting, the eternal husbandless monkey, No.1’, I’ll make a collection, export it to sell abroad so the world knows my woven cricket brand, I’ll have money coming out of my ears without needing a husband!” You…

Are you looking down on me, you bastard? Watch me! Tomorrow, I’ll weave cupcakes! I’ll compete with your brand!! Called, ‘Phii Duen, do you have any beans in your jar?’, it’ll be a hit! Phii Duen, the disciple of Daonuea, son of Dad-Direk, can be beaten but not mocked!

“Wow, I missed setting up the camera, what a pity.”

“Damn you.” I made a face; even in the dark, I could see his cunning expression, Phii Duen’s face twitched…my foot twitched wanting to kick him in the face.

“Heh heh.”

“I hate your laugh.”

“Have we kissed goodnight yet?” The other moved closer. I pushed his face away with all my strength…don’t expect to get a taste of me, you rainbow leech.

“I’ll kiss you with my heel, go to sleep. Good night.” After saying that, I turned to the other side. I definitely won’t be able to sleep looking at his face. The sensation from the kiss still lingers, I feel my face heat up every time I think about it, Bohn kissed me…

We kissed.

I understand that couples do this kind of thing normally, but…how should I put it, that was my first kiss, and what’s more special is that it was the first kiss with my first boyfriend at my first volunteer camp. I’ve seen scenes like this in foreign movies. I thought I was embarrassed then…now, I’m a million times more embarrassed.

We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed, we kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed, we kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. We kissed.

Aargh!!! I’m going crazy.

“Ugh.” I groaned in embarrassment, lifting both hands to cover my face and wriggling around. Bohn took my first kiss. No…he didn’t just take one kiss, he took a lot, my heart, my attention…everything, damn it.

“What’s wrong, huh?”

“…Nothing.”

“Can’t you sleep?”

“I’m asleep.”

“…”

“Are you sick? Did I keep you in the water too long?”

“Let go.” Don’t touch my forehead, you bastard! Every time you touch me, I think about when we were at the waterfall, damn it…and why is my face so hot? What’s wrong with your body? After dating for how long, little Duen, you only start showing symptoms now?

“What’s wrong with you?”

“…Ouch! My eyes!” I raised my hand to cover my face when the other person turned on their phone screen. The light was brighter than a spotlight; he must be doing this on purpose to tease me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t shine it right in my face.

“I was shocked, thought something was wrong…huh.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Laughing at how your face turns red when you’re embarrassed.”

“It’s red because I’m hot.”

“Hot? It’s four degrees now, my feet are numb.” Not just your feet, my spleen is cold too.

“I…I’m just hot, turn off the light. Others are trying to sleep.” I grabbed his phone and put it on his head. I don’t know if everyone else is asleep, but right now, I want to sleep to escape from Bohn.

“Perverted fool.”

“I’m not perverted!” My heart beat fast hearing that sentence; the person lying next to me chuckled before moving closer. No way! I’m trying to escape!!

“Don’t lie. You must be thinking dirty thoughts.” He said this and then blew air into my left ear, making my fine hairs stand up. I quickly pulled my neck away from the hot breath.

“Not at all…don’t move closer…” I pushed his chest away and turned my face aside. Strange, this time he let go easily.

“What are you thinking about? Tell me, huh, huh?” The rogue ran his hand across my cheek.

“I’m not thinking about anything, I’m going to sleep!”

Cut it off, arguing won’t win against him. It’s not fair, even though I’ve upgraded my language skills from Phii Boss, why can’t I beat him? Not just in dirty humor, in arguments, and now this…I guess I need to study for a master’s in Thai with a language teacher. A bachelor’s degree isn’t enough to deal with this banter.

“I’m so damn sleepy…” I mumbled, blinking slowly as my eyelids grew heavier and heavier until I finally closed them. It’s insanely cold here, even with a thick blanket…

I heard the sound of fabric rustling, accompanied by a warm touch on my forehead. It felt like I was being pulled into something warm and safe.

“Good night, you fool.” Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Gasp!

Was that the sound of a gecko just now? I’ve told you before, right, that I’m scared of lizards and geckos to the point of being paranoid. The only lizard I can get close to is the cupcake one, but not to the extent of touching…let’s just go to sleep.

Waking up in the middle of the night feels awful…even someone like me who isn’t afraid of ghosts feels scared. Sleep, Duenhaw! Close your eyes, count sheep, pick your nose. Do whatever it takes to fall asleep!

‘There are many reasons for waking up at night…but mostly, it’s because someone is watching.’

Damn you, Tang!! Why did you have to say something like that to me, and why do I have to think about it now? The atmosphere here is just too perfect for it. Before coming here, I just watched a horror movie in the jungle, an old movie about lizards or something, but that was a gecko just now, probably nothing…

Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.

You’ve got to be kidding me. If you can tell the time like this, you damn lizard, why not come out and fight me! Ugh, why does my brain have to picture movie scenes like this? And it’s a scene where a lizard falls down.

Sigh.

“Hold me!” I tightened my embrace…hug? Am I hugging Bohn? Wait, you’re taking advantage of me again, you jerk. Forget about that for now, I’ll allow it for one day.

Trust me, that wasn’t a lizard, there’s nothing there, I’m just overthinking it. Have you ever felt like something was falling when you thought about it, even though there was nothing? That’s called hypnagogia, and I’m experiencing it now. Even though I know it’s just my imagination…Phii Duen is scared.

“Sleep, sleep…why not wake up in the morning? Why does it have to be now?” My heart was beating irregularly when I realized no one else was awake except me. What’s worse is…

I need to pee!

Forget it, I’ll get up to pee in the morning…but I can’t hold it anymore, damn it, Duen.

“Uh…Duen, why are you awake in the middle of the night?” Did I hug so tight that I woke Bohn up? But honestly…I’m really glad he woke up.

“Uh…sorry, did I wake you?”

“It’s okay…let’s sleep.” The other person tightened his embrace before planting a kiss on my dark hair. What should I do? I didn’t want to bother him, but I really needed to pee, and I was too scared to go alone.

Tap, tap, tap, thud, thud

You bastard, are you rushing me!?

“Bohn…”

“…Huh, yes?”

“Come with me to the bathroom.” In the end, I disturbed him. I promise I’ll pee with the speed of a NASA rocket. I won’t make you wait long, so…please come with me.

“Now?” He asked sleepily.

“Yeah, I need to pee.”

“Scared of ghosts?”

“I’m not scared of ghosts; I’m scared of lizards and geckos.” Does it sound funny to say that? But Bohn knows I’m really afraid of those cupcake relatives, scared to the point where I don’t even want to get close to them. “Sure.” Yay!!

We walked out of the tent quietly, trying not to make any noise to disturb others. Ram is very sensitive to sounds; he wakes up as easily as I do, but he didn’t seem to move, so he must still be asleep.

“Wait outside.” I nodded in understanding and quickly ran into the bathroom. I could have peed outside, but I didn’t want to do that; after all, I’m going to be a doctor, a clean lover…even if the dormitory is a mess.

Me and Bohn didn’t go to the main bathroom but chose a smaller one not far from the tent; it only had two rooms, divided between men and women. Close your eyes, Duen! Don’t look around, or you might see those relatives.

Chirp, chirp, chirp

Ahhh! I knew you were here, I was quiet, so why make that sound! Do you know the international rule? I don’t greet you, you don’t greet me, fair and square!!!

I closed my eyes and ears with high speed, cleaning up in less than a minute before running out. It gave me goosebumps. I didn’t even want to think about how close that lizard was to me just now, ugh.

“Oh!”

“Done already? Why the face? Was there a gecko inside? Ha ha ha.” the person waiting on the log laughed out loud, damn it!

“Don’t laugh, you bastard.”

“I need to pee, wait a sec…If you’re scared, I can come in with you, Duen, heh heh.”

“No way!” I made a face; the other nodded understandingly before walking into the bathroom. It’s damn cold, even with my thick jacket on, and with the cat-patterned socks borrowed from Daonuea on my feet.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Ouch, can I change what I said? I want to go into the bathroom with you! Did you call your friends to scare me, invincible, eternal, honorable!! Bring them on!

Think of something else, think of something else to forget this.

What should I think about…

As I was thinking, I heard a sound, not an animal sound, but the sound of the waterfall, Phu Yod Dao, not far from here. Waterfall…Bohn and ‘him’ also kissed at a waterfall.

I admit, before this, I was really mad at Bohn, mad like I’ve never been at anyone before. Yesterday, I ran after him, but just for a moment, we lost each other. At that time, I felt incredibly guilty. So, I went for a walk, trying to relieve stress, but ended up more stressed. The image of him kissing that pretty-faced guy was still stuck in my mind. I didn’t know who he was, but I heard others say he was forceful…probably was forceful.

I don’t know, it seemed like he knew I was watching from above. Not just my imagination, it hurt so much…honestly, I never thought he would dare to cheat. But if you stood there, watching them kiss…

I really couldn’t control my thoughts.

After running away, I sat to calm myself down behind the waterfall. I didn’t want anyone to see my tear-stained face. When I felt somewhat better, I acted normal, smiling to cover everything up, no one knew…I was amazed at myself for being able to do that. Normally, I’m not good at lying, but when it comes to something heavy, I can lie well instantly.

Another thing I dislike, apart from lizards and geckos, is people who lie.

I asked Bohn where he had been. At that time, I wanted to hear the truth, anything true, ‘went to the waterfall behind the office’, ‘went for a walk’, or even ‘went to kiss someone else’, anything, we could deal with the matter later, just don’t lie…but Bohn lied, my heart squeezed tight, breathing became difficult like there was something stuck in my throat. If I had said anything then, tears would have definitely flowed.

The more he acts like he’s bored with me, the more he seems like he doesn’t want to look at me, the more it makes me think, ‘He’s bored with me.’ I cry in my sleep, feeling so pitiful. I’m always the one comforting friends, telling them it’s okay, not to care about those who make us sad, but every time I look up, my eyes go straight to Bohn. Even if he says he was forced by that handsome guy, why do I still feel bad? Maybe because of how Bohn acted…

Is he bored with me?

“Duen, what’s wrong?”

“Huh? Nothing.” I answered the person coming out of the bathroom. Was he in there long, or did I just imagine it quickly? Duen, the worrywart, haha, sigh.

“Nothing? Why do your eyes look red like you’ve been crying? Are you that scared of lizards?” Red eyes, huh?

“…Yeah, they’re so scary, haha.” It was the most forced laugh I’ve ever made, what can I do when there’s a lump in my throat? Being able to speak at all is impressive…

“…What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, let’s go, it’s cold.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to walk with me; I didn’t want him to look at my face right now. Even though it’s all over, why do I keep thinking about it?

“Let’s talk first, what’s wrong?” The person behind resisted, refusing to follow.

“…”

“What’s wrong? Tell me, you good person.”

“Are you bored with me?” I asked softly, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. Please don’t say it, damn it…I beg you.

“…”

“Are you bored because I’m a fool, bored because I don’t have much time for you, bored because I’m not very jealous, bored because you have to think a lot about me, bored with how I am…” Is my personality annoying to him? Someone once told me that people like me are annoying, but I didn’t take it to heart because it was someone else. But Bohn isn’t…he’s my lover. I don’t want to annoy him…

“I’ve never been bored…”

“…” I couldn’t hold back my tears when he said that. He came over to hug and comfort me; it was warm, so warm it made my heart race.

“…”

“I’ve never been bored with you being a fool…I fell for you because of that foolishness. I’ve never been bored with you not having time…I understand you study hard.” Bohn flicked my nose before smiling.

“…Hic.”

“I’ve never been bored of you being you, I love you being you.”

I hugged the person in front of me back, tears flowing uncontrollably. The more I’m with him, the weaker I become. How many times have I cried today?

“Don’t cry, I’ve said I don’t like your tears.”

“Hic…then don’t look.”

“How can I not look when my boyfriend is sad…I have to comfort him.”

We hugged like that for I don’t know how long. I didn’t even know when we sat down on the log, I didn’t know anything…I only knew that every time a tear fell, Bohn would kiss it away until it was gone. He kissed all over my face, from my eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin, and ending at my lips.

“Why do you think I’m bored?” The person beside me asked while pressing my face into his shoulder. There was a faint, pleasant scent coming from him…

“Because yesterday and today, you acted like you were bored, I tried to make up but you wouldn’t stop being mad.” Normally, a little begging would make it go away, but this time was different. I begged, I cooed, I did everything, but he paid no attention.

“Oh, that’s what you’re talking about…”

“Speak, but don’t get mad, okay.” Saying this means what he’s about to say will definitely make me mad…the way he looks and speaks is so suspicious.

“Tell me first, I’ll decide later.” I had to give a neutral response; otherwise, he wouldn’t tell me.

“Duen, don’t do this, I don’t want to see you mad again.” After saying this, he nuzzled me like a kitten, don’t be cute, you liar!

“Then just say it, I’m reasonable enough.”

“The reason I acted like I was mad is because…”

“?”

“Because I wanted to see you appease and coo to me.”

“…”

What did he just say…

You acted like you were mad, not looking at me, not talking to me because you wanted me to beg?! Damn you, Bohn, you devious person, you water dipper, you problematic molar, you cataracted eye, father of Ben!!!!

“Everyone wants their partner to be sweet, and when you do it, you’re so cute that I…I pretend to be mad because I know you’ll eventually act sweet.” He spoke so softly it was almost a whisper, his large hands plucking grass and rolling it around like a child who’s done something wrong and doesn’t know what to do with themselves.

“Should I keep being mad at you? I think I forgive you too easily…”

“I already told you last evening to stay mad for longer, alright…and then we made up, isn’t that enough? Come on.”

“Hah! I’m tired, I’m going to sleep!” I got up abruptly and walked back to the tent in a huff. What the hell, did I spend the whole day worrying over something as trivial as this? Jeez!

“Duen, are you mad at me? I’m sorry. Well, you know, I just wanted to have some cute, cute moments with my boyfriend too.”

“Which means you’re not afraid of me killing you, right?”

“Bohn! Tonight, you sleep outside the tent!!”

 

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