SMNTCERR, Chapter 48: <111> #3.

“Then how many seconds should we change it to?”

“Don’t worry about time, make it bigger for a bit and then smaller.”

“What size… 110%. Is that okay?”

“Don’t think about numbers, go with your gut feeling.”

Without realizing it, Jaeyoung placed his hand on the back of Sangwoo’s hand holding the mouse. Jaeyoung was focused on the computer screen.

Sangwoo missed the timing to withdraw his hand.

‘Uh… ah, huh?’

In the midst of confusion and fluster, Jaeyoung held onto his hand and clicked the mouse, moving it nonchalantly to adjust the timeline and resize the image.

“How’s the preview?”

Upon hearing that, Sangwoo regained his composure, pulled his hand away, and pressed a shortcut key. Then the result of Jaeyoung’s actions appeared in a new window. The same duration as before, but with added effects that made it more lively. Sangwoo stared at the computer screen.

“Chu Sangwoo.”

“Yes.”

“This is not a competition. Remember that we’re working together. Who do you think is  better at graphics, is it you or I?”

“You hyung.”

“So who should be the leader?”

“You hyung… .”

Jaeyoung remained silent for a moment. When Sangwoo turned to look, he found a pair of eyes staring at him. Then suddenly, Jaeyoung spoke out loud.

“Choi Yoona!”

Yoona continued to nod her head and work as usual. Once he was sure that no one was eavesdropping, Jaeyoung lowered his voice and continued speaking.

“Human relationships are the same. They don’t happen on one side alone. It’s about coming to an agreement together. Can one person make decisions and cancel them?”

Suddenly, the topic of conversation changed. It seemed that Jaeyoung was no longer interested in looking at the computer screen. Sangwoo faced the piercing gaze of the other party.

“No.”

“Did you do something wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

“What you said about stopping, I can’t accept it. Let me explain the reasons to you again and listen carefully.”

Jaeyoung spoke without averting or blinking his eyes.

“You said you were upset because you were beside me and had feelings, right? You probably don’t know. Normally, in times like that, we should get closer to each other to fulfill our desires. This is a proven method. We haven’t done enough to make a decision that it has failed. You rushed to a conclusion too quickly.”

“I’ve tried my best.”

“I think the main reason you wanted to stop suddenly is because of the video clip. You haven’t searched enough.”

“Not… not enough?”

“Yes, there are only two of us. Why did you watch the videos for three people or eight people? And who would have a horse rocking with a vibrator at home? If one does that, then maybe they would end up at the hospital every time, right? Tell me honestly, did you download the entire chart?”

“…I think high download counts can guarantee the usefulness of the data.”

“The pornography industry is based on people’s imagination. Did you overlook that? I have no idea how you’re different from those ancient guys who believed that playing games, FPS[1] would turn them into murderers.”

“Hyung, aren’t you speaking a bit too harshly?”

“Well, it’s wrong from the conditions, you know. In our relationship, there are only two people involved, just you and me. No one else has a way to interfere. And I don’t want to be hit, nor do I want to hit you. That’s not right, it’s not correct, understand?”

The reasoned criticism made Sangwoo unable to speak, as Jaeyoung said. It seems that he didn’t consider the specific nature of the information he was unfamiliar with, but even so…

“Let’s just say the data I saw was heavily distorted, but I didn’t study it solely from the video. In most of the text I read, it mostly stated the insertion of sexual organs into the rectum directly…”

“Stop teaching biology for now.”

Jaeyoung shouted ‘Choi Yoona!’ again to check if she was still paying attention to the song. Then he leaned down slightly and whispered something.

“Sangwooya.”

“…”

“When we agreed to have sex, yours… mine… rectum… damn it… and let’s just say it’s not necessary, please, remember that we’re just two people together. If one person enters… the other doesn’t have to do anything.”

“Really? You don’t have to do it equally.”

“It’s not a punishment at all. If you don’t want to be on the receiving end, just be the opposite, well… From what I’ve heard and seen, the one on the receiving end also feels very good, so this should alleviate the desire, right?”

“Did you hear that? What if you’ve tried it before?”

Jaeyoung’s face became complicated beyond description, and he glanced at Sangwoo.

“What do you think? Try using your imagination a bit.”

Sangwoo’s two sides of the brain worked quickly. Jang Jaeyoung clearly stated that he had slept with men before, and sexual intercourse between men has something to do with the prostate. Jang Jaeyoung said he didn’t feel that. Therefore, there are two conclusions. If it’s not because of the lack of expertise that makes you feel nothing, then it must be because…

“Um… so hyung, you…”

Sangwoo automatically bent his left finger into a circle. Then he inserted his right index finger into the empty space of that circular shape. Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo making hand gestures and just laughed, which seems to be true from the fact that he didn’t deny it.

“So… what about me?”

Sangwoo continued to observe his left hand in a posed position, okay, before stopping imagining things he had never tried.

“Keep that in mind for later, my dear… whether to tie me up like in the clip, or… well, let’s say we don’t need those devices, I won’t use force on you either, I promise.”

Jaeyoung hurriedly spoke without pausing for breath, “Phew.” he raised his face and continued speaking without giving Sangwoo a chance to respond.

“And I will propose the next option, so listen carefully.”

“An option? What is it?”

Jaeyoung paused and changed his sitting position. He rested his elbows on his knees, and his hands searched each other. The image resembled a composition on the cover of an action adventure game.

“I haven’t changed anything, I still want to hold your hand, kiss you, and have sex with you just like before.”

Jaeyoung spoke casually as if it were a normal topic, like wanting to eat pizza, fried chicken, and naengmyeon [2].

“It seems like your mind is more complex and chaotic than mine, so I’ll wait.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means taking things slowly, not forcing anything from you. If you don’t willingly offer, then I won’t do anything.”

“Really? If during that time, I don’t feel like doing it anymore, can I stop in the middle?”

“If you don’t want to, then what can I do? Should I insist on doing something?”

Sangwoo paused, he often worried when faced with Jaeyoung. What would the other party say? Would they do something beyond reason? Would they confuse him? But today was only today, different from before.

“This isn’t a competition, don’t forget that it’s teamwork.”

Three days ago, the other party still stubbornly said that they wanted to stop everything. Now, Jaeyoung didn’t know what inspired him, but that day he looked truly shaken. However, today he spoke in a way that was understood and seemed calm.

Jaeyoung remained silent for a moment before reluctantly getting up from his seat.

“Alright, I acknowledge that. Then I’ll go take a break, you can continue working here.”

“…”

“If you want kisses, wake me up first, then we can do it.”

“I won’t do it. No!”

The other party smiled with their eyes and walked past Sangwoo. Sangwoo looked at the back of Jaeyoung lying on the folding bed before grabbing his belongings in the office and turning off the lights. Then Yoona took off her headphones angrily.

return 0;.

Just when he thought the project had collapsed, it revived and progressed smoother than before, after completing the basic restructure about a week ago. Jaeyoung began to actively participate in animation production. Although initially it was difficult to adjust to the other party who evaluated results with phrases like ‘a little bit more’ ‘too much’ and ‘just enough’ Sangwoo learned techniques through trial and error.

For example, if he heard the phrase “a bit bigger.” he would scale it up to 109%. If he heard “too small.” he would adjust it to 134%, and so on. Then he kept a mental manual and listened to detailed feedback from Jaeyoung, adjusting accordingly.

On Friday, Sangwoo arrived at the office at 6:31 PM. He worked on the assigned tasks under the guidance of the designer, fixing all the basic movements of the character and changing the animation when using weapons.. When Yoona saw it, she said that one of the characters looked like Sangwoo. Even though another character resembled Jaeyoung more, she couldn’t tell. Sangwoo thought that as a designer, his vision was sharp, but the other party’s vision was not.

At 9:03 PM, the three of them ordered fried chicken and wasted time on meaningless conversations, so they didn’t work after that. While leaving the office at 10:00 PM, Sangwoo realized that Jaeyoung hadn’t touched him except when he sent the chicken legs.

There were no meetings on the weekend, both on Saturday and Sunday when he returned home after part-time work. Jaeyoung would call at 10:01 PM. On Saturday, he asked about the storage capacity, and on Sunday, he inquired about the differences in the designs. Sangwoo answered in detail with admiration for Jaeyoung’s efforts to improve the game. On both days, Jaeyoung didn’t hang up immediately.

‘By the way, where were you born?’

It’s unknown why the other party asked such questions. When he answered that he was born in Daejeon City, the end of the line asked where he grew up and which school he attended. He replied that he was born and raised in Daejeon City, with a brief moment in Dongmun District until the age of nineteen. He graduated from middle school at Kwonmoon Middle School and high school at Dongmun High School. Then, the end of the line asked about his shoe size and the cost of his glasses. He answered that his shoe size was 270, and the cost of his glasses was 1.0 for both eyes. The other party complained sadly that he wore shoes in sizes 270 and 275, and his vision was 0.7, causing blurriness whether he wore glasses or not.

After hanging up, he was surprised by the duration of the call, which lasted 29 minutes one day and 34 minutes another day. Even though they didn’t talk much, it was strange that he spent such a long time on the phone.

On Monday, in the first week of May, Sangwoo went to class and went to the library to read books. After dinner, he went to the office and met Yoona as she opened the door. Until recently, she had to wear animal fur, but now the other party was wearing a sleeveless shirt.

“Oh, Chu Sangwoo, hi.”

“Hello.”

“I’m about to go out and find something to eat. Do you want to come along?”

“No, thank you.”

Sangwoo walked past the girl into the office. Inside, it was so hot that he understood why Yoona dressed as if it were summer. Sangwoo took off his jacket and hung it on the chair, then walked to the window. When he fully opened the window, his body encountered warm air, and it seemed like the air was unreasonably hot without his awareness.

At that moment, the door opened halfway. Sangwoo turned around and locked eyes with Jaeyoung, who was holding a white plastic bag. He was wearing a blue baseball cap on his head and bright knee-length jeans, which were dazzling.

“So you’re here.”

“Yes.”

“Why is it so hot today?”

Jaeyoung walked briskly and placed his bag on the table, while Sangwoo looked outside again.

“In the true month of May, but it feels like summer[3.]”

“Because using fossil fuels carelessly accelerates the greenhouse effect, you know.”

“Still eating.”

“Yes.”

There was a loud crackling sound from the back as the plastic bag was rustling. Sangwoo followed his gaze to the illuminated university landscape before returning to his seat. Jaeyoung was stirring something in a paper cup.

Although he didn’t ask, the other party mentioned that it was almond milk. Then he took out a foam box from the bag. When he removed the

rubber band, six large dumplings were revealed.

“Why is there only you left?”

“Jaeyoung went out for a stroll.”

“Then we’ll be together. That’s nice.”

Jaeyoung said something with a spoonful of plastic in his mouth. Sang didn’t know how to respond, so he turned his face away, feeling as if the words had hit him suddenly, and his throat went dry. Sangwoo picked up a notebook from his backpack and placed it on the table, then stared at the black screen as if trying to penetrate it.

“Sangwoo.”

The other party just called him as usual, but he didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed. Sangwoo struggled to respond.

“Yes.”

“Eat the dumplings, I bought them from a famous shop.”

That was an order, not an invitation. When he turned to look to the side, Jaeyoung had already used chopsticks to pick up a large dumpling. The edges of the dumpling were soaked in soy sauce.

“Put it down. I’ll eat it later.”

“Hurry up. My arm hurts.”

The dumpling moved closer to the point of almost touching his face… Sangwoo couldn’t help but open his mouth. As he bit into the large dumpling, Jaeyoung took the remaining half of the dumpling and dipped it in soy sauce before stuffing it into his mouth.

“I’ve already eaten that.”

“Why should I care? We’ve already kissed.”

Each word from the other party today disturbed him strangely, and it was difficult to argue logically that if he was worried about infection, he should have been worried since they exchanged saliva before this.

________________________________________.

[1]       FPS “first-person shooter.” Or, a first-person perspective shooting game, a type of game that revolves around firearms and attacks using weapons through a first-person perspective, meaning players experience the action through the eyes of the selected character.

[2]       Naengmyeon, Korean cold buckwheat noodles.

[3]       “The true month of May, but feels like summer.” The month of May in Korea is still within the spring season.

 

   SMNTCERR CHAPTERS HOME