MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 24: The Relationship That Started Like Listening To A Song; There Are Pauses, Stops, Or You Can Listen Until The End.
When Khun Godzilla took off his mask, another one of my hobbies became observing the expressions of the honey-colored skin owner who, in a day, could show no fewer than ten different faces. Whether it’s when eating and not quite liking the taste, or when eating sweets and saying it’s delicious, when he’s hot, his face gets all tense, and when he’s in front of the cool air, his eyes close with happiness.
Like today, when he came to eat at the cafeteria with me, along with Phii Beert and Phii Wan, and he seemed to have found food that suits his taste after complaining about Wan’s overly spicy Tom Yum noodles a few days ago.
“Is it that delicious?” Phii Wan asked his friend, who was happily munching away before someone mischievously stole some fried chicken from his plate. He gave his friend a huge glare, which made me smile at his glaring eyes.
He himself… one more glare and he’d be like Charcoal when he’s denied sausages.
“Damn, there’s not much fried chicken, and you still grab it, you jerk.”
“Yeah, it’s delicious.”
Phii Godt seemed to really like the dish I recommended today, my favorite meal:
Crispy Chicken Basil.
Even though he spent a while picking out the basil leaves because he didn’t like them.
“You’re still not over your cold?”
Phii Godt paused slightly and looked up at me. I quickly ducked my head down, hastily spooning some fried rice into my mouth.
“I’ll be over it when I’m over it.”
His small friend hummed disapprovingly, seemingly not wanting to deal with someone with a cold, but it was Phii Beert who turned around to smile at me, making me look away. It seemed like Phii Beert knew why we were both having similar, persistent colds.
The reason we haven’t recovered is because we’ve been stuck together like conjoined doughnuts. I had to ask him that we should keep some distance until our colds were gone, and then we could stick together again. Besides, we both had exams, and for someone as social as him, there were football matches, exams, an overload of projects, not to mention the extra events he took on to help out friends. If our colds didn’t clear up soon, it would definitely be a disaster.
When I gave him that reason, Phii Godt agreed to keep some distance. He changed from sitting by me like a little bird in my room to sitting and eating together on the balcony. I’d check up on his studies a bit, while the person who didn’t like reading preferred to listen to his friends tutor him over the phone because he didn’t want to leave his room.
I once asked him if his friends wouldn’t get mad that he wasn’t showing up. He responded:
“I’ve built two worlds, one for my friends and one for us. You don’t have to worry about them getting mad at me because even if I don’t go to them, they come to me all the time, damn it! Can’t I have some sweet time with you, you bastard?”
And then he turned to fight with Phii Ton, who had been visiting his room more often lately.
“Hey Godt, have you seen this, the fan account for Nong Diew?”
“Sorry.”
I choked on my fried rice when I heard what Phii Wan said. The little guy gave me a mischievous look before showing me his phone, revealing that there was indeed a fan account for me on Twitter. Before I could even look down, Phii Godt grabbed the phone. He turned off the screen and handed it back to Phii Wan.
“Don’t look.”
“Come on, having fans means people like you.”
“I won’t let you look, why?” Phii Wan snapped at his friend, and Phii Beert scolded him slightly.
“Just because you can look at Godt’s face now doesn’t mean we’ll pull him out of his world, Wan.”
“Yes, dad.”
“Who’s your dad, you bastard?”
“What’s with that, Godzilla, you dog-faced?”
I’m not actually mad at Phii Wan. He’s always been like this. He’s a high-level social human who wants to drag everyone around him into his social circle. If I had to guess, this guy is just as lonely as Phii Godt, the difference is Phii Wan says whatever he thinks. He doesn’t keep much inside, but deep down, as Phii Godt once said:
This little guy doesn’t really speak from the heart, but once he realizes it, he always brings sweets to apologize to me.
“Thank you… I’m glad… to hear I have fans.”
My tone caught the attention of the three guys who were bickering in front of me. Being stared at like this made me nervous, my hands sweaty.
“Um… it’s better to have people who like you than people who don’t… right?”
“Not true,” Phii Godt said, giving a displeased look with his tall stature, “I want you to be liked by just one person.”
“Let’s go back, Beert.”
“Why the rush?”
“I’m sick of love.”
“When will you two love each other?” the tanned guy teased his friend. Phii Wan turned to grab the shirt collar of the bigger guy, but Phii Godt seemed unfazed, just rolling his eyes as if he was used to the teasing.
“I told you, Beert is just a friend, you ox, it’s like being with you.”
“Hey, don’t compare me to him,” Phii Beert retorted.
“Yeah, Beert is better than you, you bastard.”
Phii Wan scratched his head in frustration and quickly left with his empty plate, drawing laughter from both Phii Beert and Phii Godt who seemed pleased to have teased their little friend.
“Don’t tease him too much. You know I’m closest to Wan, but not in that way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“And you know it’s impossible.”
“Oh, and what if Wan really likes you?”
Phii Beert furrowed his brows at Phii Godt. It was the first time I had seen the warm-hearted Godt so clearly displeased with his friend’s words.
“He and I are just friends, like you and me.”
The conversation between the two went quiet for a while; the atmosphere didn’t feel so good. Then Phii Wan came back to the table, picked up his phone, and put it back into his pocket. The person who had gone to clear the dishes looked at the two friends who had become silent.
“I’m going back to the office, Godt. I’ll head out first, Nong Diew. Get well soon.”
“Thank you.”
Phii Wan led the way out. Meanwhile, Phii Beert took his own plate and held it, smiling at me.
“I’m leaving now. Take care of yourself.”
“Yes… you too, Phii Beert.”
After the two left, I turned to look at the person who was poking at the basil on his plate, looking lonely, even though the previous conversation was just playful teasing. But why did it suddenly become awkward like this?
“Can you tell that Beert likes Wan?”
Huh…
I looked up at the two men who had just left not long ago. Phii Wan was standing and complaining to Phii Beert at the emergency exit. I didn’t know what he was complaining about. Phii Beert listened quietly without responding, as if he was used to one being fussy and the other silent. Everything seemed normal.
I couldn’t tell at all that Phii Beert liked Phii Wan, but judging from the reaction when Phii Godt teased and Phii Wan countered playfully as if it was just a usual jest, but Phii Beert, he furrowed his brows in concern.
“Does Phii Beert… like Phii Wan?”
“Yes, probably only recently, but the word ‘friend’ is quite reassuring.”
“And what will you do?”
“There’s nothing to do. If Beert is happy just being with Wan like this, I can only watch. But if one day Wan gets a partner, Beert will have to accept it because he’s the one who wants to be a good friend.”
“But I think… Phii Beert is doing the right thing,” I said softly, afraid of being scolded for disagreeing, but Phii Godt didn’t say anything further. He just sat quietly, waiting to hear what I would say next.
For Phii Godt, he’s straightforward, so confessing would be his style, but for me, I’m not really okay with this kind of relationship.
“I think… friendship is important… it’s about trust, having them by my side. He’s afraid if he confess that he like him… Phii Wan might feel bad.”
Or maybe it’s because I’ve been in this situation before when I was talking to Phii Pee. I trusted him as a friend, an important friend, until our relationship ended because he liked me more than as a friend.
“That’s true.”
“But if Phii Wan likes Phii Beert too… that would be another story…”
The tall guy nodded slightly, but his expression remained neutral, not siding with what I was saying.
“For Beert, if being friends means being by Wan’s side, seeing him happy, talking about anything, that must be enough for happiness, right?”
“Yeah,” I thought so too, being friends who understand each other, who know each other’s hearts, sharing feelings.
A close friendship, in reality, is really great.
“If he gets his heart broken, then we’ll take him out for some fun.”
“If that time comes… you have to take good care of Phii Beert, okay?”
“You’re so worried, so protective.”
“He’s a friend.”
He let out a soft chuckle, mentioning Phii Beert like that really brings out the jealousy, doesn’t it?
“Good for me, that I’ve escaped the friend zone,” Phii Godt brought the conversation back to us, smiling at me, “Because if I stayed in the friend zone, I’d definitely be heartbroken to death.”
That’s true, thinking about it, I’m lucky not to have kept him in the friend zone like with Phii Pee. Although in many aspects, Phii Godt is both a good friend and a good brother, in terms of a relationship where we’re dating, I think there’s something different from just friendship. In my opinion, a romantic relationship means you can have him as a confidant, as a close brother, as someone important to talk to when you want to talk to someone, as that special someone you can hug when you’re lonely.
But if it’s any other kind of relationship, it would be limited to that status. Simply put, you get only that one role, you can’t be greedy like in a romantic relationship. For example, if you’re friends, you’re just friends. If you’re a brother, you’re just a brother.
“Thank you, Phii.”
“Huh, why?”
“If you hadn’t kept your promise… I’d just keep you in the friend zone.”
“I’m that good, huh?”
The self-absorbed person was still self-absorbed as ever.
“Yes.”
“But you can’t beat me, right?”
“Huh?”
“At making someone fall for you, I’m pretty good at that.”
I hiccuped when I heard that, my face turning red immediately.
I haven’t done anything yet; it’s you who wandered into my world, you crazy creature.
“Phii Ton once said… did you quit smoking because of me?”
While sitting reading a book on the balcony at night with someone else, I finally asked something that had been lingering in my mind for a while. Phii Godt turned to look at me; the light from inside the room clearly illuminated his face.
This man is really charming.
“It’s a secret.”
“Why?”
“I know you don’t like smokers, so I never told you I smoked. Actually, I started smoking in my first year, planned to quit when I was talking to Ping, but I couldn’t. So I decided to quit cold turkey when talking to you.”
“Was it hard?”
I bit into a strawberry-flavored Pocky, asking him the question while flipping to the next page of my book.
I knew quitting smoking requires a certain level of endurance because it’s as hard as quitting alcohol. I’ve never even noticed any symptoms from him because we’ve always talked on the balcony, I only found out after he had already quit.
“Yes, part of why I locked myself in the room was because of quitting smoking.”
“Sorry.”
Khun Godzilla’s warm hand gently ruffled my hair.
“Why apologize? You should be happy that I managed to quit.”
“Glad to hear that.”
“Keep it simple.”
“And… how did you manage to quit?”
There are many ways to quit smoking, and each person has their own method. I know of one senior who quit by using nicotine patches along with gum, so I was curious about how the person next to me did it, and also when he quit, because when I entered his room, there was no smell of cigarettes at all.
“Gum.”
“Do you chew a lot?”
“A lot, about three packs a day.”
“Wow,” I exclaimed softly upon hearing that, “That’s impressive.”
“But actually, gum helps with a lot of things.”
“Hmm,” I like chewing gum too, but I prefer it when I’m sleepy while reading.
“Besides quitting smoking, when I want to chew someone’s flesh around here, it helps a lot too.”
Chew flesh?
I sat there in shock for a while, my brain processing the phrase “chew flesh,” until I started to piece together what he meant by “chew the flesh of someone around here.”
Once I understood the meaning, I gave Phii Godt a hard smile.
“Pervert.”
“How can I not be? I’ve been imagining it alone for months.”
“Phii Godt!” I yelled at him, pushing him away, then turned back to focus on reading, though my concentration was already scattered. With the big guy blocking the doorway, my escape route was reduced to just a small gap. If he decided to do anything, what could I possibly do?
“Just kidding.”
After saying that, he took some gum from his pocket, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth. I looked at him chewing.
“Chewing gum because you’re sleepy, right?” I tried to think positively, assuming he must have grabbed the gum because he was sleepy from reading, not because he wanted to chew my flesh right now.
“Yes… I want to sleep with a certain someone.”
“Phii Godt!!”
Oh my god, I’m going crazy.
“I’m just joking.”
Even if he says he’s joking, his legs are shaking like someone going through withdrawal.
“You said… you wouldn’t touch me because you’re keeping a precept.”
“I am keeping a precept.”
“Keeping a precept not to touch…”
“Keeping a precept not to lie.”
“But you’re lying.”
“Do you want me not to lie?”
“…”
The cunning man moved his face close enough for me to smell the mint from the gum he was chewing, a faint mint scent mixed with the warm fragrance from his body, along with the heat from his large frame.
Just that was almost enough to give me heatstroke.
“I want to kiss, hug, make out, and just sink into you…”
“Stop, you still haven’t recovered from your cold.” I raised my hand in a gesture to ward him off, trying to push Phii Godt away. After confessing my love to him, the distance between us on the balcony had shrunk to just a few centimeters. Now, he had turned into a big dog who loved to snuggle too much.
“And when I’m better…”
“No.”
“But…”
“Don’t be whiny.”
After being rejected, Khun Godzilla went to sit gloomily by himself, his head resting against the glass door, quietly reading a thick book. Poor him.
Finally, I had some time to read for a while because usually, after coming back to the room, I would read for hours. But with Phii Godt around, my reading time was cut short, turning into time for chatting. I couldn’t harden my heart and not talk to him because this charming guy was so persistent in wanting to chat.
But when he really went quiet, I wasn’t used to it. Many times while reading, I’d glance at the person lying still beside me. The first hour was fine; he was still turning sheets, scribbling notes or checking his phone like someone who doesn’t like reading books, but once the second hour started, Phii Godt went completely silent. Only after I finished reading my sheet did I slowly look over at the person leaning against the clear glass door.
The usually talkative person was now sound asleep.
His broad back and shoulders rising and falling rhythmically indicated he was in a deep sleep, probably tired from the upcoming football match tomorrow evening, plus being in the middle of exam season.
I carefully stood up, trying not to make any noise, stepping over Phii Godt into the room to grab a pillow from the bed, then walked back to the balcony. I gently slipped my hand under his neck, then placed the pillow there.
I glanced at the young-master playing in his box not far away, then turned my attention back to the face in front of me.
The person who’s always a nuisance when awake.
When asleep, he looks so peaceful, doesn’t he, young-master?
Even though this might just be an illusion, because Phii Godt definitely moves a lot when he sleeps.
I let out a soft sigh, sat down next to him again, gazing at the starless night sky. The cool breeze on the balcony brushed against my face, and the wind chime still gave off a soft, pleasant sound.
Being alone is nice, but when someone else comes into your life, it’s nice in a different way. You have someone to talk to, to interact with, someone who adds color and warmth to your life. But deep down, there’s still a small fear, a fear that this happiness and warmth might disappear.
A fear that one day, we might argue and vanish from each other’s lives.
I rested my head against his broad chest, closing my eyes as thoughts swirled in my mind.
Until I drifted off to sleep with the faint scent of his cologne, which always made me feel at ease.
Phii Godt, he smells like something…
Oh, maybe like chocolate Pocky.
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