MONSTERNEXTDOOR, Chapter 20: A Good Relationship Is About Taking Care Of Each Other, Whether In Happiness Or Sorrow.
I’ve been lying by the edge of the fish tank for nearly an hour without moving, the clock on the wall showing half past nine, and the rain was drizzling down, preventing me from sitting on the balcony. After eating, I was about to play with young-master when I noticed something unusual.
Young-master has seemed listless for three or four days now. At first, I thought he was okay because he was still moving around, and when taken out for some fresh air, he seemed lively. There were no signs that he was getting worse, but I only just noticed that neither the meat nor the vegetables I gave him were diminishing at all, even though he usually eats ravenously. Lately, he hasn’t been popping his head out to greet me, and I was puzzled why young-master has been sleeping all day recently.
Until tonight, young-master wouldn’t come out from his shell at all. No matter how much I tapped or picked him up, he was silent. I was so worried that I had to call my grandfather.
(Is the shell soft? Are his eyes swollen?)
“It’s not soft, and his eyes weren’t swollen until yesterday, but today he won’t come out at all. Normally, he’d always pop out to greet when I tap on his shell. I’m really worried.”
(There’s a veterinary hospital at the university; take him to see a doctor. I’ll transfer the treatment costs to you.)
“Young-master will be okay, right, Grandpa?”
(Let the doctor diagnose him. If you leave it too long, it might get worse.)
“Okay.”
(And are you doing well, my smart one? You haven’t called much.) The old man’s voice sounded slightly disappointed over the line. “I’m doing well, but I’m starting to feel unwell because I’m worried about young-master.”
(Don’t worry, don’t worry. Take him to the doctor and leave it to them. It’s good that we’ve been observing young-master’s symptoms, so we noticed quickly that he was getting lethargic. Let me know after you take him to the doctor, I want to talk to the doctor too.)
“Okay.”
I hung up the phone and sat looking at the Japanese turtle shell where young-master didn’t pop his head out to greet me like every morning. I picked up young-master and placed him in a box lined with a cloth to take him to the vet, looking at him with concern.
Please don’t be sick, young-master, you have to stay with us for a long time.
Knock knock
Even before I finished packing, there was a knock at the door. I went to open it, knowing who was coming. When I opened the door, I saw a tall person wearing an Ultraman mask, with faint traces of rainwater on his shoulders.
Every time it rains, Phii Godt comes to knock on my door, just like today.
“What’s wrong? Why the sad face?” He noticed I was feeling down from the first glance. I looked at the square box on the bed, then turned to let out a sigh to Phii Godt who was holding a bag of some snacks he always buys for me.
“young-master… is sick.”
“Oh, do you want me to take him to the vet?”
Khun Godzilla didn’t hesitate to volunteer as soon as he heard that. I knew what Phii Godt was like, but I was worried about young-master. If I had to just sit and wait in the room, I definitely couldn’t do it.
“I’ll go too.”
We braved the rain out of the dormitory, took a taxi straight to the university’s animal hospital. I took young-master to see the vet, only to learn we’d have to observe him there for two to three days. The vet couldn’t yet determine exactly what was wrong with young-master; turtles have complex bodily systems, and an X-ray was needed to find out where he was unwell. But by the time we arrived at the hospital, it was nearly closing time. So, the X-ray would have to wait until tomorrow morning. The doctor could only assure us that young-master was safe for now.
I sat watching the clock on the clinic wall ticking loudly after we finished all the formalities. My mind was blank ever since I left youngmaster in the room, discussed the costs, and now sat dispiritedly on a chair by the exit. The rain outside still sounded loud, and I turned to see Phii Godt squeezing his hands, then after a while, he started scratching his nose under the mask, probably because of the dampness on his body from being in the rain, then having to stay in the air-conditioned room.
He must feel as uncomfortable as I did.
“Are you cold?” I asked softly to the person next to me. Phii Godt placed his large hand on my head and ruffled it gently.
“I’m fine. Are you okay?”
“Not really…”
“It’s okay, young-master is with the doctor now. He’ll be fine.”
“Yes.”
We stood in front of the hospital as the lights slowly went out. I watched the white rain pouring down from the sky, the scent of rain making my nose stuffy, but not as much as the person next to me who sneezed loudly as soon as he encountered the rain.
“Achoo.”
Just like that day, the first day I heard his deep voice, the first day I gave him the nickname.
Khun Godzilla, my neighbor.
“Are you sick?”
“I’ve had a stuffy nose for a couple of days now. But I’m okay, I just played soccer in the rain.”
Hearing him sniffle, Godt couldn’t help but worry. I reached into my trouser pocket, pulling out a light blue handkerchief and offering it to Phii Godt. He paused slightly, seeming surprised that I carried a handkerchief, but he didn’t say anything about it.
“If you need to blow your nose… just keep it… I have plenty.”
Since I was a child, I’ve always carried a handkerchief with me out of habit from my dad. Even though I don’t always use it, I like to have one on me. I turned to look at the person beside me who lifted his mask slightly to tuck the handkerchief inside.
“Thank you.”
“Uh-huh.”
We stood watching the rain that showed no sign of letting up, and there wasn’t a single taxi passing by now. It would be risky to walk through the rain, worrying that Phii Godt might get seriously ill. So we decided to wait on the steps until the rain subsided.
“Have you eaten anything yet?”
“Not yet.” I rubbed my stomach lightly because I was so worried about young-master that I hadn’t touched my dinner since getting back to my room, only eating a small piece of banana cake.
“Then let’s buy something to eat in the room once the rain stops.”
“Okay.”
Phii Godt fell silent after that, spending time watching the thin white curtain of rain at night beside each other, before I felt something touch my left pinky finger. I looked down at our hands placed side by side; our pinkies touched slightly. The other person didn’t look down but instead gazed silently at the sky.
Comparing our pinkies, Phii Godt’s was longer than mine.
“Do you want me to say something?”
A deep voice cut through the sound of the rain.
“I know you’re worried… but I… I’m fine, really.”
“You’re lying to me again.”
I looked down at the rain hitting the concrete, making a loud pattering sound, the coldness and dampness touching my head and body. Even though it made me damp, I couldn’t deny that I liked the rain on nights like this; the smell of rain cleared my mind but also made my nose stuffy.
“I… I’m really worried about young-master… very worried.”
I didn’t want him to worry because I loved young-master as much as I loved my real father when he passed away. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye; suddenly, the house, once full of joy and laughter, was replaced by silent loneliness. My mother, who usually stayed at home, had to go out to meet friends every day. It was my grandfather who became the source of laughter for both me and my mother.
So when young-master got sick, it felt like my world was slowly crumbling. We were together every day, checking his condition daily, but when young-master became quiet and wouldn’t even peek his head out, it made me afraid of losing him.
I probably wouldn’t be able to smile until I was sure young-master was okay.
“Diew, do you know that I don’t just want to be by your side when you’re happy?”
Khun Godzilla moved his little finger to overlap with mine, the warmth from just that small finger felt like a hug enveloping my whole body.
“I know…”
“So, if you feel not okay or can’t handle it, you can tell me.”
I nodded to him softly.
“I just… want to sit quietly for a while.”
And so, I sat with Phii Godt in silence like that. He didn’t make any silly remarks because he knew if he did, I’d have to force a smile, and he knew that. He didn’t say anything more after that. He didn’t ask if I wanted to eat anything, didn’t ask how I felt, didn’t ask when I wanted to go back. He just held my little finger, indicating he was still by my side.
It’s strange, really, someone who couldn’t sit quietly for more than five minutes is now sitting quietly for an hour for me just because I said I wanted some quiet time. Someone who said they didn’t like rain is now staring blankly at the rain under an Ultraman mask on a night like this.
“I’m sorry… for being selfish… making you sit and watch the rain in silence like this, it must be boring.”
“It’s okay, I’m sorry too, for being selfish, knowing you want quiet but still bothering you all the time.”
I smiled a little and hooked my pinky with Phii Godt’s.
With someone like you around, you always spoil me.
Why do you have to listen to me so much?
Even young-master doesn’t listen to me as much as you do.
By the time we got back to the room, it was past ten. I rubbed my head, which was wet from the rain, and looked at the other person who couldn’t stop sneezing. Godt couldn’t help but worry about him. Luckily, I had cold medicine in my room, planning to give it to Phii Godt after we ate.
Phii Godt flopped down on the floor, setting the food box beside him and tossing his wet shirt nearby. I sat down beside him; the rain outside had stopped briefly before starting again, preventing us from sitting out on the balcony today.
“Achoo.” The tall guy kept sneezing, and with the mask on, I worried it might be too stuffy for him.
“Take off the mask… please…”
“Ha. I’m okay, I’m fine.”
“It’s hot with that on.”
“No.” It turned out that the one who wouldn’t part with the mask was Phii Godt. He could just take it off to wipe his face a bit. We didn’t need to look at each other, just put it back on after, but he seemed determined not to.
“Take it off… then turn around.”
“Really?”
“Yeah… I’ll go get a towel for you.”
In the end, he complied, probably because he really wasn’t feeling well. I grabbed a towel from the wardrobe and walked over to the person sitting with his back to me, slowly removing his Ultraman mask. His broad back, his dark hair slightly wet and clinging to his neck.
Now, Phii Godt looked like Charcoal.
“Here.” His large hand reached back, intending to grab the towel from me, but instead of placing it in his hand, I placed it on his head. Phii Godt flinched, seemingly startled because I’m not usually the one to initiate physical contact. I just wanted to thank him for going to the vet with me, for sitting beside me without saying anything because the silence made me feel better, and it made me confident that the doctor would cure young-master.
“I’ll… wipe it for you.”
“Is that okay?”
“Yes.”
I sat there drying his messy hair, which had gone limp from the rain; once dried, it returned to its fluffy state.
“I just realized… you have curly hair.”
So when he doesn’t style it, it looks like he just woke up all the time, huh?
“I don’t really like it, it’s hard to style.”
“It looks good though… My grandpa said people with curly hair… look like they have thick hair… and when they get old, it’s harder to go bald.”
Phii Godt laughed.
“I was thinking about going for a skinhead.”
“And then you’ll look like Charcoal, completely hairless.”
“But I’m sure I look better than Charcoal.”
“Really?”
“Oh, why are you teasing me all of a sudden?”
I gently ruffled his hair in response because he’s just so annoying, isn’t he?
After drying his hair, I threw the towel into the basket and sat down to eat with Phii Godt. We ate with our backs against each other, which made me realize that Phii Godt’s back was as broad and comforting as a large sofa.
“If you’re not free tomorrow, I’ll go check on young-master for you, I don’t have classes tomorrow.”
I groaned in response, staring blankly at the fried rice box and letting out a faint sigh.
In just a few weeks, there’ll be exams again. And I have a mountain of projects to do, barely any time for anything else. With young-master getting sick like this, it feels like everything is piling up at once, giving me a headache.
I’m worried about young-master, and I’m worried about my exam scores.
“Normally, turtles live longer than humans, you know.”
I smiled when I heard his words, a statement that didn’t require a response.
“I read about it. To the point where we need to find someone to take care of it after us.”
Everything he said was right. My grandpa told me that turtles can live for hundreds of years, much longer than the average human lifespan of eighty years, but some turtles do have shorter lives due to diseases or accidents.
I don’t want young-master to be like that.
“My grandpa gave me young-master… because he didn’t want me to be lonely…”
Whenever I talk about young-master, I always recall the past when I first got him as a tiny turtle, the size of a ten-baht coin. By nature, turtles become aggressive as they grow, but even now, with young-master the size of my palm, there’s no sign of aggression. He’s never once snapped at me.
“I keep telling my grandpa that I’m not lonely… until today…”
I only just realized that without young-master, I suddenly feel lonely.
“That’s because you talk to young-master every day.”
“But young-master never answers me… Why does it feel lonely then?” “It’s like with people, isn’t it? If you talk to someone every day and suddenly they’re gone, you’d feel lonely, right?”
I leaned my back against Phii Godt’s broad back, looking up at the empty ceiling, the bright light in the room making my eyes feel overly white.
“Don’t worry, okay?” Phii Godt’s head rested on mine, moving slightly back and forth a couple of times.
“Feeling lonely sometimes, that’s not wrong.”
Just as my grandpa said, we all need someone to talk to.
If I didn’t have Phii Godt, I’d still have young-master. But if I didn’t have young-master, I’d still have Phii Godt. But if I didn’t have either young-master or Phii Godt, I’d definitely feel terrible.
Because today, with Phii Godt here, I can cope.
“Phii Godt.”
“Hmm?”
“Can I… have a hug?”
The person behind me went silent. I knew it was starting to get out of hand, but at times like this, I really wanted a hug from someone. Just a quick hug and then let go. That wouldn’t be a big deal, right?
Phii Godt didn’t respond. He moved slightly away from me, causing me to lean back when I was resting against his back.
“If that’s the case, may I?” Not long after, his wide arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I jolted in surprise. Even though I asked for a hug, I didn’t mean for him to hug me like this.
“Phii Godt…” My voice was trembling, looking at his long arms that loosely wrapped around my waist, the warmth from his strong arms creating a flush of heat all over.
Suddenly, I forgot why I wanted him to hug me in the first place.
My mind was only thinking, oh no, my heart is beating so fast, will he notice?
“You know, hugging is the best way to recharge energy.”
His deep voice was close to my ear, making me shiver. Phii Godt’s embrace made my heart beat so fast it felt like it would burst out of my chest. Not unlike the heart beating rapidly under someone else’s chest, which I could feel through his back.
Phii Godt, he must feel the same as I do right now.
“Just a tiny body.”
“Phii Godt.”
“Yes?” I placed my hand on his muscular arm, my lips pressed tight together.
“You…”
I wasn’t sure if I should say it, my face was burning hot, the warmth spreading across it. I could feel the warmth radiating from my own body, knowing my face must be completely red by now. I was thankful again that he was the one to initiate the hug; otherwise, I would have made some strange face for sure.
Since I could say it, it should be fine, right?
“Don’t go anywhere… please.”
“Yes.”
“I… would definitely feel lonely… if you disappeared.”
The heartbeat of the person behind me, which was in sync with mine just a moment ago, now doubled in speed. Feeling the change in the heartbeat of someone else, I had to raise my hand to cover my blushing face.
“Diew.”
“Yes?”
“My heart is going to give out.”
It’s not just you.
I feel like I’m dying too.
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