SMNTCERR, Chapter 36 <101>.

   ‘Let’s make a game together. I need a skilled designer.’

   ‘Um… alright, I understand.’

   Completion  according to plan.

   Sangwoo shot two birds with one stone; he obtained the most talented designer in the university and successfully pulled Jang Jaeyoung back into his life. This was the best start he could come up with. If everything went as planned, he would be able to create another game and regain control over his own abnormal behavior.

   That was an accurate analysis because the minor issues that arose when Jaeyoung disappeared slowly dissipated when he reappeared and had another encounter with the other party. The night of his determination to attend classes and read books in the library for only a few hours came back again. Sangwoo spent four hours studying and devoted all the remaining time to game development.

   Because there was a meeting in the afternoon, he felt restless in the morning.

   As the time for the meeting approached, he felt increasingly worse. In the last

   30 minutes or so, he felt so bad that he sweated in his hands and his heart raced.

   He immersed himself in the first meeting, researching the latest information and typing up necessary documents meticulously. He also stopped by the convenience store to buy various snacks and kept them unpacked. However, he was disappointed with Jaeyoung’s attitude. Being late for twelve minutes might be a habit, but his expression and tone were unusually tense. Although the other party did not appear as intimate or clingy as before, it didn’t seem like they would cooperate on the project.

   It was midnight, the appointed time. No matter how Sangwoo refreshed his email inbox, there was no draft sent according to the agreement. When he borrowed the landline phone from the neighboring house and called the other party, he heard a billiard ball sound in the background. The next day, he realized that the other party hastily sketched out the concept art. He didn’t pay attention, but it made Sangwoo feel even more disappointed.

   ‘I’ll do it again.’

   However, Sangwoo couldn’t refuse Jaeyoung’s request. He regretted wasting the whole day, and it was time to start taking action. But just when he confronted the other party directly and asked for an explanation, the other party requested more time. He gave up his weekend off for that.

   Temporary names: Vegie Venturer, Veggie Venturer.

   But then, during the Tuesday meeting, Jaeyoung came with something impressive—a side-scrolling shooting game with jump action. Although it wasn’t a completely novel idea, it had its uniqueness. The concept art looked complete, as if it were already released. Moreover, the document included appropriate descriptions of all the components. Sangwoo really liked Jaeyoung’s plan.

   One of the two characters in the concept art caught Sangwoo’s attention. The character had eye-catching hair color and a cute face. If Jaeyoung became a character in the game, he must have looked exactly like this—Sangwoo thought that Jaeyoung would like other characters, but Sangwoo insisted on using this character because he believed that people would like a beautiful and adorable character like this.

   With the plan in place, the work progressed smoothly. He worried that Jaeyoung might forget this or that, but the other party’s work skills were impeccable. The problem didn’t lie with the project but elsewhere.

   “You’ve never been to Sin Gam Gwang, right? Come along, let’s go see my workspace and have a cup of tea.”

   The problem was entering that messy room. Just having a five-minute meeting without any issues would be enough, but because of his curiosity about what Jang Jaeyoung’s workspace looked like, he followed the other party. Even though he had imagined the worst, after opening the door, Sangwoo encountered the most horrifying place in the world.

   The cluttered workspace had too many things, mostly junk that even the owner himself didn’t know what they were for. In one corner of the room, there was a woman wearing colorful clothes, raising her eyebrows, wearing a neck brace, and rolling her eyes to the sound of strange music. Sangwoo felt like folding up the entire room and throwing it in the trash. How could the other party work in such a chaotic room?

   Besides having multiple personality disorders and the habit of constantly changing personalities, there were mental illnesses, sadists, and human cancers. He never thought he was wrong—his personality was garbage, lazy, selfish, malicious, attention-seeking. And this was another mess in the sewer. The only thing Sangwoo liked about the other party was their design and drawing skills. If it weren’t for their abnormal physical appearance, he probably wouldn’t associate with such a person. Sangwoo complained silently while helping the other party clean up.

   When the cleaning was done, the office looked somewhat presentable. At that moment, Sangwoo noticed the posters hanging on the wall, perhaps because he had seen Jaeyoung’s works frequently, so he saw other black and white images. Only Jaeyoung’s works stood out with vibrant colors. Now, Sangwoo was studying Jaeyoung, wondering in which year those posters were made.

   The spectacle-wearing person with a hazy gaze, who switched to a focused and sharp-eyed individual when starting work, controlled two different devices proficiently, moving them in the most efficient manner. The eyes enhanced various facial expressions. In normal times, he became a meticulous supervisor, examining the steps and results accurately. That was Sangwoo’s feeling when he realized he had entered the workspace of a true expert.

   He thought that five minutes seemed too short for a meeting. Then, five minutes turned into an hour, and one hour turned into three and a half hours. Even though he was aware of the strange reactions his body might have, he persisted. Although he had to endure the annoyance of repeatedly cleaning the space that had been pre-set to be cluttered and often had peculiar women in one corner of the room, Sangwoo began to dislike leaving the workspace.

   During the two weeks of working together, Sangwoo gathered new information and learned that Jaeyoung had a twin brother. Jaeyoung was close to his grandfather. In addition to Korean, Chinese, and English, Jaeyoung was also fluent in sign language and French. Jaeyoung didn’t like swimming. 

   Jaeyoung frequently changed the desktop wallpaper to female celebrities. Jaeyoung preferred books over comics. Jaeyoung liked movies more than comic books. Jaeyoung could tolerate everything but not eat unappetizing food. Jaeyoung preferred cats over dogs. Jaeyoung was enthusiastic about cyberpunk themes. Jaeyoung was not good at playing games and many other things.

   Sitting upright in the seat of someone who had gone through military service, Sangwoo always felt the presence of Jaeyoung. He absorbed information from the other side, secretly recorded and memorized it. His ears stored the replay of the sounds before going to sleep. Every day, he would glance through, around, and directly at Jaeyoung’s face, observing him without being noticed. Sangwoo felt as if he could close his eyes and draw a picture of Jaeyoung. Even though he didn’t possess that ability. Sangwoo gradually succumbed to Jaeyoung’s influence, slowly like being poisoned by heavy metals [1].

   When it reached that point, he should have stopped, even after sixteen days of working with Jaeyoung, a Friday that marked complete deterioration. Sangwoo couldn’t forget that day.

   On that day, Sangwoo planned small things such as rewards for each stage, leveling up status, attack power, and HP[2] of NPCs, as well as the level of difficulty. As for Jaeyoung, he completed two or three large UI tasks. Jaeyoung sat in his chair for hours, only getting up from it after submitting his work and wandering aimlessly to his bed, where he collapsed. Usually, he would lie down, play with his mobile phone, talk nonsense, or listen to music. But on that day, he must have been unusually tired, so he lay on his side and closed his eyes.

   Fifteen minutes later, Sangwoo turned to call him, but Jaeyoung was still sound asleep. The other party had said he would only sleep for fifteen minutes. So Sangwoo should have woken him up, but why… Sangwoo turned back to his own work as if he hadn’t seen the time. Then time passed and it was already 4:00 AM, time to go home.

   ‘It’s time for me to go back now.’

   No response, it was clear that Jaeyoung was fast asleep. Sangwoo had already slung his backpack on and could have left, but he walked towards the bed for a mysterious reason.

   ‘Senior, are you asleep? Are you… really asleep?’

   He changed the question to confirm that Jaeyoung was indeed sound asleep. 

   At the same time, he slowly moved closer step by step.

   Sangwoo stopped by the face of the sleeping person and stared silently. His messy hair made it difficult to see his eyes clearly. Sangwoo gradually sat down, leaning closer to Jaeyoung’s face. The closer he got to Jaeyoung’s face, the stronger his slightly suffocating heartbeat became. It felt like his heart was being squeezed, similar to a heart attack. Sangwoo unconsciously loosened the tension in his body and used his fingertips to brush away the messy hair of the other person, looking calm.

   Then he thought, ‘Looks good.’ That was the simplest thought. He felt like he could sit and stare at that place all day without getting bored. He wanted to possess the other person, to touch their eyelids, the tip of their nose, and even their lips. Sangwoo’s gaze fixed on the slightly parted lips of Jaeyoung.

   Sangwoo watched quietly before realizing that he had misunderstood something. It wasn’t something he wanted to touch with his hands, but he wanted to do something else. This made him agitated. It was something he would never do if Jaeyoung was awake. It was only a brief moment, a small opportunity that he had. A crime that no one would know if he kept his mouth shut. He acted decisively, doing something he wouldn’t do in normal circumstances.

   Sangwoo leaned closer to Jaeyoung’s sleeping face and pressed his own lips against the other person’s lips. Then he retreated.

   After taking a few steps, he slumped down and sat leaning against the wall in the hallway of the office. He felt a sense of relief, consciousness, self-control, happiness, decision-making, and humaneness that he had maintained for fifteen years without any problems collapsing all at once.

   ‘No problem, no one knows.’

   Sangwoo recited lines from the protagonist of a crime novel and headed back home, fooling himself into thinking that nothing had happened. He ignored the pounding heart and closed his eyes.

   But the difficulty didn’t end there. While his mind was crumbling, an incident that would bring him to his knees occurred the next day.

   ‘Oh, come out. Let’s go together.’

   When his heart raced after seeing the smiling face of the guy at the internet cafe through the storefront, he realized that something abnormal had happened and thought he should escape. This group often lived with regrets later on. His decision-making skills would cause serious problems without fail.

   [printf[3]”No, I’m busy, and I don’t want to see your face, hyungnim. 

   Goodbye.”;]

   He was confident that he had fed the information like that, but the result turned out to be…

   ‘Sure, where am I going?’

   That result led to a major accident.

   Sangwoo picked up his hat and put it on, then walked towards the cashier calmly. He paid half the bill and left the restaurant, running all the way back home. After brushing his teeth, washing his face, and changing clothes, he crawled under the blanket. But even that didn’t mean that what he had done disappeared.

   He kicked the blanket hard, causing it to fly up to the ceiling and fall down, covering his face. Sangwoo’s body trembled in the darkness.

   ‘Am I becoming slaves of love?’

   ‘Do I have to graduate from this university?’

   ‘Do I still have value to keep living or not?’

   That day, he was disturbed by numerous questions, to the point of exhaustion.

   The strong sexual desires that manifest in an individual during adolescence. Sangwoo remembered the soft heartbeat that occurred on the bus when a girl walked by with a pleasant scent. In high school, he secretly admired a beautiful teacher, and as an adult, he had officially dated someone of the opposite sex once, but he had never experienced such intense desire before ‘the kind that would want to do that super sexual thing to the other person while they sleep, the kind that he loses self-control in someone else’s workplace’.

   Moreover, Jaeyoung is not a woman. When it comes to men, he has encountered countless experiences, both in all-boys middle school, all-boys high school, engineering faculty, and the military, but Sangwoo has never encountered such a case where he felt like this before. It is an occurrence that he never even thought about, just like when his father married his mother, or when his aunt married his uncle. Sangwoo thinks that one day he will hold hands with a woman, kiss, have sex, and get married.

   But there is one person who acts like an Error in that equation, who has already taken control of one of those steps.

   [1] Heavy Metal Poisoning occurs when certain metals accumulate in the body through food, water, industrial chemicals, or other sources. [2] Hit Point “HP” is the life force value of a character in a game.

   [3] The printf” function, also known as “print format.” is used to display data on a screen, whether it be characters, text, numbers, or variable values.

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